they call me trouble

Hi i think its important to periodically make a post on tumblr in which i tell all my jewish followers that i will always support and defend them. true i do not support the israeli state in any way shape or form but that does not mitigate my support for my jewish friends, family and acquaintances. I respect you and whenever you’re in trouble or need me to reblog a post calling attention to antisemitic violence lemme know. Love, a goyim

Freaky Friday: Part 3

Sirius: Hey there… *grins* Pads. 

Remus: *drags Sirius into an empty room* 

Sirius: *glances down at the bandage taped to his side*

Remus: God-damn-hair-

Remus: Me running around starkers is not-

Sirius: Correction… “scantily clad”. 

Remus: *snarls* Me running around “scantily clad” is not being inconspicuous Sirius! 

Sirius: Hey, if you keep calling me that, then we’re definitely going to run into trouble.

Remus: … You’re getting such a kick out of this you asshole.

Sirius: C’mon Moons… live a little. 

Remus: *grits teeth*

Remus: You’ve just found yourself in some quicksand… and you’re sinking fast.

Sirius: Almost as much as I love terrible metaphors. 

Remus: *leans forward slowly* *jabs finger into Sirius’s chest* I swear to all the Gods I can think of… By the time I’m through with you-

Remus: Beast is an understatement… You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into Black. 

Sirius: *grin falters slightly at the look on Remus’s face* 

To Be Continued

3

With a deep breath you answered your phone and stopped in front of your full length mirror, one of the perks pf being a vampire meant that everything was your whenever you wanted it. Plus, you were the first human to be turned by the Mikaelsons’ which meant there wasn’t really much that could stop you.



“Elijah, let me guess, you arrived in New Orleans and found Klaus causing trouble… Rebekah won’t help you so you called me.” You said as soon as you slid your thumb across the phone.

 


“I’ll cover the rent for that ridiculously lavish apartment of yours.” Elijah offered. You scoffed at him and wondered out of your huge walk in wardrobe and slumped onto your bed.


 

“That offer’s not even gonna get me to my front door.” You hummed as you twirled your hair through your fingers.

Keep reading

"What do you want for Christmas?"

Me: “Money.”

“Nooooo that’s not a thoughtful gift! Choose an actual THING 😊”

Me: “M-O-N-E-Y”

Money for a new tattoo.
Money for new clothes.
Money for some new weave.
Money for a new PS4 game.
Money for some Converses.
Money for some gas and an oil change.
Money for that one pop-up bill every month.
Money for some jewelry.
Money for some Chinese food.
MONEY.
I’M AN ADULT, SAVE YOURSELF THE TROUBLE, GIVE ME THAT FUCKING CASH AND CALL IT A DAMN DAY.

WIP / Master List Thing

Suggestions / Prompts / Questions / Just to chat ily

Originally posted by raptorwhisperer

CHARACTER SPECIFIC RESPONSES/STORIES:

ADA Rafael Barba (Law & Order SVU) Requests/Stories | HERE
Trujillo, Nevada Ramirez (Trouble In The Heights) Requests/Stories | HERE
Dr. Frederick Chilton (Hannibal) Requests/Stories | HERE
Jonas Nightingale (Leap Of Faith- Musical) Requests/Stories | HERE

Keep reading

19 Gays: He Tian the Man Talker
  • He Tian: you shouldve called me right away when you got into trouble you know
  • Momo: why? Its not like were friends
  • H: but i care for you
  • M: Y-you don't have to..
  • H: You're my precious cook
  • M: BASTARD
  • H: My precious boyfriend who cooks beefstew for me and only for me.
  • M: *blushes aggressively*

@redpeacoat3 @tendergingergirl @welovethebeekeeper

Hey, I’m sorry I’ve been an ass about this. Getting reblogs and messages from strangers about Johnlock not becoming canon being the end of the world, having to keep anon off just for my own sanity has made me lash out on this blog more than I should have. I’m sorry, you’re right, I shouldn’t do it. I will rein it in, because you’re right. I’m not used to having people suddenly caring about what I post on this blog, considering I’m no veteran to TJLC. Again, you’re right, I’m being an ass, and I don’t wish my venting to upset anyone else. Sorry for the trouble. Thanks for calling me on it.

Work Bitch analysis

Britney Spears to the bourgeoisie after having just learned about the marxist labour theory of value:  

You want a hot body? You want a Bugatti?
You want a Maserati? You better work bitch
You want a Lamborghini? Sippin’ martinis?
Look hot in a bikini? You better work bitch
You wanna live fancy? Live in a big mansion?
Party in France?
You better work bitch, you better work bitch
You better work bitch, you better work bitch
Now get to work bitch!
Now get to work bitch!

Britney Spears explaining to the bourgeoisie that she has seized state power and its monopoly on violence:

Break it off, break it down
See me come and you can hear my sound
Tell somebody in your town
Spread the word, spread the word
Go call the police, go call the governor
I bring the treble, don’t mean to trouble ya’
I make the governor, call me the governor
I am the bad bitch, the bitch that you’ll never know

Britney Spears motivating the working class to work towards creating the new communist society:

Hold your head high, fingers to the sky
They gonna try to try ya’, but they can’t deny ya’
Keep it moving higher, and higher
Keep it building higher, and higher
So hold your head high, fingers to the sky
Now they don’t believe ya’, but they gonna meet ya’
Keep it moving higher and higher
Keep it moving higher and higher and higher

Work, work, work, work
Work, work, work, work
Work, work, work, work
Work, work, work
Work it out, work it out, work it out, work it out
Work it out, work it out, work it out, work it out
Work it out, work it out, work it out, work it out
Work it out, work it out
You better work bitch
You better work bitch

the signs as “Texts from last night” part 2

Aries: (614):
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina

Taurus: (605):
I thought I’d never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies

gemini: (419):
Let’s be honest, I’ve seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.

Cancer: (828):
Stop calling me, Mom. I’m in his closet. You’re gonna blow my cover and I’m about to catch this lying SOB.

Leo: (815):
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I’m asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.

Virgo: (808):
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life

Libra: (707):
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I’m watching his dog this weekend while he’s in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life

Scorpio: (903):
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.

Sagittarius:(281):
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I’m an adult

Capricorn: (740):
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test…there goes my veil of innocence in this town.

Aquarius:  (612):
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there

Pisces: 630):
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent’s house

DRAGON AGE 2 SETNENCE MEME
change pronouns, etc. where necessary

’ what ? this isn’t the tavern ? i’m so disappointed. ’
’ no more running for our lives unless we really have to. ’
’ a person in your position, seems like they might learn some protiftable things. ’
’ then we can break in and i don’t care if we kill them. ’
’ a lone guard isn’t much of a patrol. ’
’ what a bizarre thing to be scared of. ’
’ if you have to kill them, then i guess it can’t be avoided. ’
’ it’s sunnier here, and nobody calls me my lord. ’
’ cause trouble, and you’ll meet our blades, stranger. ’
’ you’ll have to work harder than that to offend me. ’
’ i’ve done a little fighting before, but it was always alone. ’
’ i’ll try not to hit anyone. ’
’ i’m sensing a story here. ’
’ we’re good people that look out for each other. ’
’ sure, demons are very helpful… right up until they take your mind and turn you into a monster. ’
’ that won’t happen. i know how to defend myself. ’
’ be careful up ahead. restless things prowl the heights. ’
’ do you know who i am, beyond that title ? ’
’ the people bend their knee too quickly. ’
’ so refreshing to see someone who keeps their end of a bargain. ’
’ it is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly. ’
’ take care not to cling to it, to hold it so close that it poisons your soul. ’
’ the more people you ask, the worse the rumors become. ’
’ i wish i still had your innocence. ’
’ but i’m not that man anymore. i’ll break your heart. ’
’ blood’s blood and all, but you are taking advantage of my hospitality. ’
’ greet customers that way, and you’ll earn more beatings than coins. ’
’ don’t worry. we do this sort of thing often. ’
’ you could have offered me a glass first, you know. ’
’ i’ll try to look sufficiently meek and oppressed. ’
’ well, it’s not a good story unless the hero dies. ’
’ and here we are in the brothel ! my day is complete. ’
’ if someone here tries to hire me again, i’m leaving. ’
’ you should here what some of the others are called. ’
’ honey, i could write volumes on the things i know. ’
’ they’re slaves ! you should want to help them ! ’
’ you’re just too dangerous. you have to die. ’
’ once the nobles are out of the way, you can really admire the scenery. ’
’ you’re nothing but tits and ass to the men in this place… ’
’ someone starts raising the undead and it’s all downhill from there. ’
’ are we supposed to believe that you had no part in his actions ? ’
’ your confidence almost makes me believe you. ’
’ they strike first and think after. they are far earier to kill than to fool. ’
’ i’d wager you’ve gone even further than that. ’
’ a little rough for a rescue, don’t you think ? ’
’ i’ll cut out your tongue and charge extra for bringing you back quiet ! ’
’ i can’t help it if i make an impression. ’
’ if you tie yourself to me, i’ll only hurt you. ’
’ don’t tell me you’re going to miss all the attention. ’
’ she did always love being constantly watched by large, armed men. ’
’ he said it’d be all right. said we’d kill a few, not everyone. ’
’ they fear to fight us, so they destroy our minds instead. ’
’ you can’t tease me like this and expect me to resist forever. ’
’ death is never justice. ’
’ i’d rather talk directly, if you don’t mind. ’
’ is that a compliment or an insult ? ’
’ it’s not often you get to submit and still come out the hero. ’
’ have i ever given you the impression that i was turned off by crazy ? ’
’ she was a special woman. never met her like again. ’
’ as they say, two’s a company, but three is better. ’
’ just… just let me explain ! ’
’ fight someone whose weapons are not bound ! ’
’ they only pick on those whose lives they already hold in their hands. ’
’ your plans have fallen to outright murder ? ’
’ you killed him so no one would follow his free choice, right or wrong. ’
’ are you blind, man ? kiss her already ! ’
’ i suppose you think she planned the entire thing ? ’
’ your society is a disease. ’
’ you thought you could strand them here for four years without consequence ? ’
’ sounds like you two have quite the little argument going. ’
’ i need to know if it’s a trap. ’
’ stop what ? stop killing a traitor ? ’
’ it may have been the right thing, but it was also the dumb thing. ’
’ i don’t want a hero, i want my daughter ! ’
’ you can be… forceful. ’
’ i think of others before myself. you seem tired of that, and that’s dangerous. ’
’ right. perfectly safe if he cooperates. ’
’ maybe in another year i could work my way up to piss-boy. ’
’ he is a force of vengeace. and he has no grasp of mercy. ’
’ i have seen many crimes done in the name of survival. ’
’ i’ve had hundreds of those in my hands, and they’re never that size. ’
’ sailors — they’re touchy about their toast. ’
’ i just sell it. i’m not responsible for what people do with it. ’
’ mind what you say about my countrymen. ’
’ i can already tell this isn’t going anywhere pleasant. ’
’ the difference between a courtesan and a whore is… well, their shoes are nicer. ’
’ apostate prostitutes ? apos-titutes ! ’
’ i let you live, and i condemn countless innocents to slavery ! ’
’ you have turned your back on your kin ? ’

7

Soooooo… I try to keep this blog purely for my fandoms but this has seriously been bugging me because it happens EXTREMELY OFTEN. 

I have trouble calling out this sort of racism because I fear the reaction this particular guy had(although it can be a LOT worse). He proceeded to spend the rest of the 20+ minutes telling me about his black friends, about how he loves foreign cultures, and how he is totally not racist -.-;

Just call me silver
  • Trouble 2: *while brushing my hair* Mommy, your hair is really poufy up here... *points to the front of my hairline*
  • Me: I think I'm growing new hair. It seems like I have a bunch of baby hairs there.
  • T2: I think your baby hairs must start out white and then change to brown, because all of these are white. *her sister comes over to investigate*
  • Me: Are there really that many that are white?
  • Trouble 1: Yeah, Mommy, there's a crowd of them right over here... *pokes a finger onto my burgeoning streak*
Help for Sleep Troubles

This podcast (called “Sleep With Me”) helps those who suffer from insomnia or can’t sleep for whatever reason, fall asleep by telling a long, rambling story designed to help you fall asleep and is engaging enough to distract from your thoughts, but not engaging enough to keep you awake: listen on itunes, spotify, or youtube 

 Please signal boost this!!! 

2

“So what do you want to do kid?” “I think i’m going to drive around a little later, get to know where things are. It’s a cute town.” Your uncle smiled at you and gave a nod. “Yeah that’s a good idea. Just don’t stray out of Charming.” “I won’t, I promise. I passed this nail salon earlier, think I’ll go there and get a pedicure, relax a little. That was a long flight.” “I can imagine. Just chill today, tomorrow you can come to the clubhouse and meet my brothers.” “That sounds good Uncle Hap.” He smiled and pulled you into a hug, kissing your head. “Alright kiddo. Don’t get into trouble. If you need me call me.” You nodded and he released you, turning around and headed to the door of your hotel room.

As he walked out, you locked the door behind him and turned around, looking around the room. You decided to take a shower and then go get your nails done, then look around town.

You came out of the nail salon inspecting your nails when a young guy came up to you and holded a flyer out to you. “Hi, you look new.” You smiled and took it, looking it over. “Yeah. Just visiting a family member.” “That’s cool. Well if you’re free, you should come down to Blue Devil Pub. We’re having a special on liquor tonight and ladies get in free until 1 am.” You looked over the flyer some more and then smiled at him again. “This looks cool. I might drop by. I’m not really one for club stuff though.” “It’s not. It’s a little more easy going. Just booze and some good old Rock N’ Roll.” “Well then. I’ll be there.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What can I get you beautiful?” “Um, just a Screwdriver.” “Yes ma'am.” The older gentleman turned around to make your drink as you felt someone sit beside you. You looked over and saw a cute guy sitting 2 seats over, tattoos on his arms and head, with a tapered Mohawk and dark clothes. He caught you looking at him and smiled at you before nodding in front of you. You turned and saw the bartender holding out your drink. “There you go sweetheart. Juice! What can I get for you my man? Same old?” He turned to the tattooed man and so did you. Who the hell came to a bar to get juice? "Yeah Bernie, same old.“ Not wanting to be rude you turned back towards your own drink, mixing it a couple times with the straw and taking a sip.

The man continued talking to the bartender for a couple minutes while you simply people watched but you felt someone sit directly beside you. Looking over, you saw it was the guy. “You’re new.” It wasn’t really much of a question but a statement. “Uh, yeah. Just seeing family.” He nodded. “I didn’t mean to be creepy, it’s just a small town. New faces stick out a little. I’m Juan.” He stuck out his hand and you grabbed his, shaking it lightly. “Y/N.” “Pretty name. How long are you in town?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You let out a moan as his lips worked down your neck, your hands grabbing onto his muscular shoulders. You were sitting on the bathroom counter, your legs wrapped around his waist as he kissed you. You’d had a couple drinks but no where near enough to impair your judgment. You knew exactly what you were doing and you knew that maybe it wasn’t the best idea to hook up with some random guy on your first night here but you were so drawn to him. He was rugged and intimidating but adorable at the same. You’d put up quite the fight, not giving into your desires and saying yes to him immediately but ultimately, you had agreed to letting him go back with you to your hotel.

Now he was sliding his hands down to your ass, lifting you up and walking to the bed with you in his arms. He put you down and hovered above you before smiling and ducking down to press his lips to the base of your throat. He enjoyed being able to be with a woman that wasn’t easy. He liked having to put in work. He liked the chase. He’d spent the better half of an hour talking you and trying to get you into bed with you denying him but along the way, he’d learned a little bit about you and from that he could tell you were a cool girl. Plus, you didn’t reek of 6 other men and stale cigarettes like the Croweaters that were always hanging off of his arm.

You smelled clean, fresh, with a just a hint of perfume when he got close to your neck or moved your hair which was very unlike the girls he was used to that smelled as if they bathed in their perfume and he couldn’t get enough of you. He sat up and grabbed onto your jeans by your ankles, pulling them off your legs and discarding them on the floor followed by your shirt. You leaned your head forward and kissed along his jaw as he pulled you up and reached behind you, pulling off your bra and taking your nipple into his mouth. You gasped as you felt how warm his mouth was and arched into him, his fingers already beginning to remove your panties.  

You smiled and just enjoyed the feeling of him against your body. You were always so strict with your life and making specific times to do specific things. It felt good to be able to just randomly do something so out of the norm. Juice was caught off guard as you rolled him over, straddling his hips and kissing down his chest, pulling off his jeans as well. "Juice,“ You looked up at him confused. "I…I don’t have any…” He snorted and shook his head. “No. I mean you can call me Juice. Most people do. I saw how you looked when Bernie called me Juice. I just wanted to tell you my real name because…I don’t know. But you can call me Juice.” “Oh. I like Juan.” He smiled, his eyes squinting and you laughed before pressing your lips to his and sinking down on him, a gasp leaving both of your open mouths.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey babygirl. The guys are inside.” “Ok.” You grabbed onto your uncles hand and walked with him into the clubhouse. It looked similar to the one over in Tacoma that you’d been to but a little nicer. Less crowded too. “Tig, brother, come meet my niece.” A tall man with dark curly hair and beautiful blue eyes came towards you, a smile on his face. “Hi doll, you must be Y/N. This one here has been talking about you coming down for weeks.” You laughed as Hap smiled and held your hand out but Tig pushed it away. “Nu uh, we’re family around here.” He pulled you into a hug and you hugged him back, immediately feeling welcomed.

Just as you pulled away, you saw a man standing by the bar, staring at you with wide eyes. You looked at him and looked away but had to do a double take, seeing the same tattooed head from the night before that was between your thighs for a good portion of the night. You’re eyes widened and matched his shocked face. Happy immediately caught the interaction and raised an eyebrow. “You two know each other?” You stuttered a bit before looking up at your uncle. “Yeah. We met at the grocery store.” Happy nodded. “Well at least you’ve made a friend.” You swallowed at looked towards Juice who was smiling and nodding at Happy.

“Yeah. It’s always nice to make new friends.”

2

As the sky changes colors these guys just get cuter! I am so proud of how eager they are to learn and please. Even when in their favorite places (probably a tie between the beach and the forest) where there are the most interesting smells and they have complete freedom, they never stray too far from my side.

Their recall has improved dramatically in the past year. As an amateur dog parent and trainer when they were puppies, I sometimes made the mistake of calling them back to me when they were in trouble. This resulted in them associating the “right here” command with two potential outcomes: 1) getting verbal punishment or 2) getting rewarded. Obviously, this completely confused them. Now, on the rare occasions that they get in trouble, I make sure to just walk over to them and tell them “no” or redirect their attention. If I could give myself one piece of advice two years ago it would be: “NEVER ever get your dog in trouble for coming to you!” You want your dog to associate their mom/dad with all the good things in the world, which is why reward-based training is definitely the way to go. 

The “right here” command is now reserved solely for treats, rubs, pets, toys, and getting loved on! Making your dog excited to come back to you is the single most important training lesson, in my opinion. These guys would never run away from me simply because they are so stinkin’ excited to run back to me and get rewarded. I am even more exciting to them than the coolest squirrel or dog or other distraction. This has shifted over excellently into a whistle command that I can use at places like the beach where it is too loud to call to them. It is also exceptionally cute to see them running long distances at top speed toward me, then trying to slow down before running into my legs. Bluegrass and Banjo are my pride n joy.