I loved the story you told of Etrigan the cat. Do you have any more tales of him?
He eats plants.
Like, he ate my Christmas cactus down to the ground 3 times. The second 2 times I had soaked it in bitter spray so much that a dry finger touched to the dry plant would come away bitter enough to make you wash your mouth out.
Etrigan would lurk by the door and dart in past my feet and try to get himself closed in there with it so he could really take his time with it. I finally had to give it to a friend. He was just too much of a hazard. I can’t have plants because my fucking cat will eat them.
Cat grass has been suggested but you have to understand that Etrigan is fundamentally incapable of understanding “for humans” and “for cats” when it comes to food, so I think it will be of limited help. Providing alternatives doesn’t work. He wants the specific thing he wants, and that’s all there is to that.
I mean, he’s sort of just a glutton in general. He preferentially eats bread. If you gave him a choice between meat and bread, I am pretty sure he would eat the bread. I can’t test this, though. I can’t give him ANY human food at all or he starts getting bold about it, and has on several occasions just walked up and taken a bite out of whatever I’m eating like it was no big deal. He would straight-up MURDER any of his brothers for a thumbnail-sized piece of Hawaiian bread.
His favorites are Hawaiian bread, pie crust, and glazed donuts, in that order, but he will also eat pizza crust, crackers, and Pop Tarts. Basically, there’s not a bread product he doesn’t like.
If he gets hold of something tasty sometimes he won’t just turn loose of it. He will hang on, like a dog playing tug-o’-war.
And he’s figured out how to open drawers, meaning we had to move all the cat treats into a cabinet until we get a baby lock for the drawer.
He sleeps pretty hard sometimes. Check this out: