they are together now on heaven

Different types of Kitten

Jhene Aiko kitten:has you thinking heaven is here on earth. Most likely to cuddle and talk afterwards. Always in a situationship and comes to you for comfort

Kehlani kitten:homegirl you’ve always tried to get with. One night you hit her with the henny dick and now neither of you can let go. Tough and will curse you out in bed, but it’s a turn on tbh

Beyoncé kitten:the kitten that’s using you because she knows her man is cheating. Will record you two together in order to show it at his company launch.

Rihanna kitten: crazy chick who choked you one time and made you call her daddy. Makes you wear a collar because she knows she owns your ass.

Nicki Minaj kitten: the kitten you met on vacation in Waikiki that made you think love was real when she bust it wide open on your lap. Had you praying to god.

Mariah Carey kitten: Suga moma kitten that takes care of you. All you have to do is stroke that ego. And that kitten. She will get hers before you get yours.

Ariana Grande kitten: unevolved Mariah Carey kitten. Evolve her using gifts of donuts, crop tops, and hyped up reviews of her performance in bed.

Kali Uchis kitten: The kitten who everyone fucks with. You smash every time you two smoke. Likes the color pink and being pampered. Be prepared for car sessions

Solange kitten: Kitten that inspires you to do better. Don’t touch her hair during sex. Will have you listening to records afterwards taking about your dreams.

Lady Gaga kitten:Your experimental phase. Marched to the beat of her own drum and yes that means you fucked in front of an audience for the applause

Sade kitten:The kitten that taught you everything you know. Smooth af. She’s the reason your ass can even set the mood for future girls. Too good for you and disappeared after 8 days of extraordinary love

Lana Del Rey kitten: Kitten that is a sugar baby and you have no issues with it. Likes it in hotels and random places for the thrills. Likes calling you daddy. Watch out for her ex tho.

things I need:

the series as told by texts Viktor sends Chris cause damn it he needs someone to have bro-talk with:

  • Chris the onsen Yuri mentioned is so pretty and the food is so good! I am in heaven you should come over!!
  • Chris I think I read out chemistry wrong for some reason Yuri won’t let me spend the night with him and I wanted to talk more!!
  • ok so Makkachin loves Yuri already which is just, the #1 requirement of course, but now Makkachin gets to sleep with Yuri while I don’t!!!
  • so we bath together everyday and I wanna consider that a win but like, strangers bath together all the time over here so it’s a bit of a hollow victory… his ass is great though
  • I asked and he is single!!! he didn’t comment on his exes so I’m guessing he doesn’t have any so that means I have to do better than usual like, first experience should be at least decent right?
  • I re-watched the video of him skating my program and I’m really sure that he was skating for this girl Yuko who is really nice and her daughters are really big fans… but does that mean he was into her at the time? or maybe before? his best friends are married to each other so I know it’s like that now but should I be worried?
  • the good: I always get to be on the family reunions; cons: my Japanese is still crap and his parents don’t have very good English…
  • people in this town are really nice? like yeah people took pictures of us during the first week but now no one minds us? they just say hi everyday? this is so neat you should visit someday
  • I tried bonding on something besides skating and got my ass beat on Mortal Combat X, wtf is up with those graphics?
  • I literally could not sleep the rest of the night cause he was very excited about showing me his music for the new program (it is very good so be ready), but he did that by jumping on my bed, straddling me and looming over me while wearing shorts… do I need to explain?
  • ok so maybe the reason I hug him in front of the press was cause a bunch of skaters younger than me were drooling over him but can you blame me?
  • I think we are oddly similar when drunk which is kinda good but not really what will make people think we are real professionals
  • CHRIS LOVED SEEING YOU IN CHINA!! yes that was our first kiss, yes I know we are advancing slower than expected, but I might as well be walking on cloud 9 so who cares!!
  • oh so you heard I left Russia, no we didn’t have a fight, but Makkachin got sick and Yuri loves us so much that he convinced me to go over to Makkachin instead of staying and doing my job as coach… Chris when would anyone else do that? who else would love me enough for that? I just… I knew I was a goner but I need to make this permanent ok
  • I have been carrying a ring since we left Japan and saying that I’m waiting for the finals to be over is just me being a coward ok I can admit it you don’t have to say it
  • yes Chris we did get engaged that same night, no I did not propose first cause as usual he keeps surprising me, if this is our lives from now then I am really blessed
  • we will crush you today no matter how much I love you old friend, so watch out for my fiance ;)
the mistletoe au

also this is way late but WHATEVER ENJOY

  • so lena goes a little overboard when buying decorations
  • and because widow is both whipped + rich, lena literally buys the entire stock of holiday decor
  • which means that overwatch now owns 500 yards of ribbons in every imaginable shade of red and green, several thousand ornaments, many snowman/rudolph posters, and, of course, exactly 246 sprigs of mistletoe
  • and then ana swoops in, steals them, loads them into a machine gun she’s got lying around somewhere, and goes on a rampage
  • the rule is, when you get caught under with someone twenty-five times (which is not as hard as it seems) you go to seven minutes of heaven
  • or, in widowtracer’s case, seven hours of heaven.
  • but we don’t talk about that
  • ana’s main focus this year is her daughter
  • who can be the most incredibly dense person in the entire world
  • it all started when her interest was piqued at the halloween party
  • during which angela was practically throwing herself at fareeha and fareeha completely failed to notice
  • so now ana has created a beautiful new piece of technology called ‘get my daughters together because they’re idiots and need some helping hands’
  • it’s a globe of red-green hard light that plays a violin remix of ‘la vie en rose’ (courtesy of symmetra and lucio) and runs a facial recognition scan to check if it’s both of them before appearing and trapping them until they kiss
  • ana never said she was going to play nice
  • (she also got another one for widowtracer but instead of kissing it’s for talking about their feelings because otherwise they’ll keep avoiding the subject for another two hundred years and ana’s already getting a bit grey)
  • so she shoots roughly twelve around both of their rooms (they have an annoying habit of walking each other back to their rooms when it’s late and it’s honestly endearing but also really terribly disgusting how enamoured they are with each other and also how neither realizes it) and mercy’s office (because fareeha brings her meals and ana cringes at how sappy it is) and also the training room (because angela likes to go sigh at fareeha’s muscles watch her team train)
  • fareeha, the trained soldier, does an excellent job of avoiding them
  • unfortunately, sombra, ana’s hacker bff, has an annoyingly obvious crush on satya, and ana heaves a sigh and decides to help them along a bit too
  • and then she walks into the hallway on a perfectly normal morning just enjoying a cup of tea and sees sombra up against a wall and symmetra gripping her hips and she spits out her tea and turns and leaves and decides that they don’t need any helping along
  • one satisfying thing she gets out of that is teasing sombra (who turns bright red but can’t deny it and just stutters and teleports away)
  • unfortunately for sombra, satya’s surprisingly cool about it and she tells a smirking ana every single excruciating detail until ana’s ears are bleeding but it’s all worth it when sombra walks in and screams
  • and then the ALARMS GO OFF AND ALL THREE OF THEM GO TO WITNESS THE PHARMERCY MOMENT
  • fareeha and angela are just walking down the hall, and they’re debating mercy’s new battle prototype, angela’s eyes sparkling, both of them gesturing passionately as they argue over the merits of having a defense mechanism installed in her suit
  • because fareeha wants her to be safe but angela doesn’t want to kill people
  • and suddenly with a whoosh a giant globe surrounds them and the smooth violin starts
  • mercy blinks, looks up
  • ‘um.’ she says, and fareeha taps the glass, confused. mercy points to the mistletoe sprig above them, and both of them flush crimson
  • ‘i don’t think we can get out,’ fareeha says, pointedly ignoring it and tapping at the glass. angela nods slowly, clears her throat.
  • ‘well, we could try to break it,’ she says, and fareeha scoffs a little, smashing a fist against it and then wincing slightly.
  • ‘it’s satya’s glass,’ she says. ‘it doesn’t break.’
  • angela shrugs, slouches against the wall. ‘well, then we’re not getting out until someone rescues us. because you don’t want to kiss me.’
  • ‘i do!’ fareeha blurts, and angela whips around to stare at her, eyes wide. fareeha goes bright red.
  • ‘um,’ she stutters, ‘um, i think you’re very pretty, and i don’t want to- um. can i kiss you?’
  • angela curls her fingers into fareeha’s collar and kisses her gently, slow, luxurious, and a thousand butterflies erupt. 
  • the globe gives a satisfied hum and disappears, fading.
  • they break apart after a moment, both flushed, breathing in sync, and fareeha licks her lips. angela smiles, touches at her jaw, and, in the distance, you can hear ana’s happy whoop.
  • ‘i thought you’d never ask.’
I don’t understand...

How people think getting Deckerstar together now will make the show boring? 

I mean, there are so many other ways to go that aren’t just focused on the romance of the two main characters. The Will They/Won’t They isn’t the entire show. 

What about Lucifer’s brothers and sisters that we haven’t seen? His entire redemption arc and getting back into Heaven?

What about an arc where he gets his wings back (sweet Jesus I need a scene where Chloe sees him in all his glory, wings and all because hell yas). 

We have the problem of whose going to run Hell when Lucifer finally gets his ticket back to Heaven.

The whole story of Lucifer showing Chloe who he really is and THAT fallout (save me Lord). 

We also have a plethora of other characters to work with. Like will Dan ever find love again (poor guy just HAD to pick the woman who was meant to be with the Devil). Ella is hiding a secret and we still don’t know what that is. Maze finding herself with Linda’s help. Amenadiel being a moron (but I still love him and we need a story where he redeems himself too).

Also, just throwing it out there… They could totally pull off a ‘Chloe is pregnant with the Devil’s child and all HELL has broken loose because of it’.

I mean, there’s so much to choose from guys. I know they’ll throw some wrenches in Deckerstars way but don’t fret. After all, they are sort of meant to be together. God totally said so when he blessed Chloe’s parents. She’s there so Lucifer can learn to love again.

I doubt the writers will run out of ideas any time soon. I mean, if us fanfiction writers can do it, then the professionals will have no problem.

anonymous asked:

Do you have any mpreg fics?

of course! here you go!

Pregnant Stiles:

The Smallest Beginning. (24/24/ | 132,642 | Rated M)

The result of a one night stand is the catalyst that starts the chain reaction of events that will form the rest of his life. Stiles life has now been changed for better or for worse and it is now his decision that will frame it. It’s simply by chance that everything comes together in his life in the form of one little miracle.

Settle Down (19/19 | 153,181 | Rated E)

Stiles is a struggling author barely making ends meet.

Derek is a successful architect whose biological clock is ticking.

Enter a surrogacy agency, two packs, and a particularly sticky and toe curling heat week and you get a match made in heaven.

nativity (like a boss) (1/1 | 9,228 | PG-13)

“Derek keeps trying to get me to push,” Stiles complains as soon as the camera’s focused on him.

a mountain to climb (11/11 |  126,412 | Rated E)

“Don’t do it,” he mutters. “Don’t do it, please, don’t do it.”

But there it is, a soft pink line appearing right next to the control. Stiles’ legs give out from under him; he sinks to the bathroom floor, hands shaking, his entire body shaking. It’s hard to breathe, his vision blurring around the edges. There’s a knock on the door behind him and then it opens and Scott sits down next to him.

“I’m fucked,” Stiles gasps, tears prickling at his eyes. “I’m fucked!”

Your Baby and Me (27/27 | 134,428 | Rated M)

“Him, you recommended, and he seems fit for the job,” Derek said, handing the application to her flashing a charming smile. “Stiles Stilinski, he’s going to carry my pup.” 

The Royal Omega (10/10 | 22,602 | Rated E)

When Stiles presents as the first omega in almost 50 years he gets shoved into a life he didn’t expect to ever experience. When Stiles shows up at the palace he didn’t expect to steal the heart of the Prince by just standing there!

Or the one where Derek and Stiles are soulmates and they’re quite the rare pair.

Fire, Fury, and Flame (22/22 | 124,623 | Rated E)

Stiles Stilinski was never going to be the omega who got knocked up right after high school, and then he’s accidentally artificially inseminated with a stranger’s sperm.
Awesome.
And the father of Stiles’s baby just so happens to be Derek Hale. Half-feral, quite possibly a murderer, and pursued by a gleefully sadistic band of hunters who are only too eager to use Stiles and his baby to hit Derek right where it hurts.
Joy.

Pregnant Derek:

No Vacancy (2 works | 34,964 | Rated M)

“29-Year Old Omega (muscular/scruffy/perpetual sourface) Seeking for Alpha-Baby-Daddy. Might or might not be named Stiles”

Derek is an unusually muscular Omega with irregular heats and dumb luck.

Stiles is an unusually polite Alpha who forgets to leave his number.

Laura is a furious Alpha who wants to wear Stiles’ balls on a golden chain.

Cora is a pragmatic Alpha who composes Craigslist ads.

Expiration Dates (22/22 | 226,825 | Rated M)

When 13-year old orphaned Derek Hale tests positive as a male carrier, his newly appointed guardian and uncle Peter uses his influence to make the test result go away, aware that in their deeply carrier-phobic society his nephew’s status could prove to be the downfall of the family company.

16 years later Derek is pressured into firing eight months-pregnant Danny Mahealani, creating a publicity scandal that, as the Equal Rights for Carriers movement gains more and more ground, results in an unprecedented media outrage targeted towards Hale & Argent Publishers.

A very reluctant Derek finds himself forced into defending his company’s prejudiced views on national television, facing off in heated debates against Stiles Stilinski, a guy he happened to have a one-night stand with months ago and has been pining over ever since. Stiles is a disgruntled former Hale & Argent employee, a staunch supporter of the ERC movement, he hates everything Derek stands for … and, courtesy of an expired condom, he’s also, unknowingly, the father of the child Derek wasn’t even aware he could carry in the first place.

From This Moment (1/1 | 16,711 | Rated M)

After discovering Derek is pregnant, Stiles offers to be his “Pregnancy Buddy.” On top of the usual difficulties of carrying a child, Stiles has to navigate Derek’s emotional turmoil from the traumatic event that conceived the baby, and his own feelings that he’s developing for Derek.

Puppy Separation Anxiety  (1/1 | 9,188 | PG)

Derek and Stiles’ three year old daughter is completely fine with Derek dropping her off at Pre-K, but has a separation anxiety induced meltdown every time Stiles does.

Naturally, Derek jumps to conclusions that couldn’t be farther from the truth if he’d tried.

Stiles and Derek Have a Baby (19 works |  52,238 | Rated M)

As the title says, Stiles and Derek have a baby, made possible by Derek’s magical Alpha-Uterus and my belief that it doesn’t always have to be Stiles who gets pregnant, gorgeous though these stories are ;-).

Join them on their journey as they: battle the evils of “Never Stops and I Want to Die”-Sickness (Derek’s words), struggle with suddenly too tight skinny jeans and form-fitting Henleys, overcome unexpected protective urges and Nutella-cravings, experience the joy of the baby’s first movements, argue about names and Twilight (repeatedly), and finally welcome the “cutest, most beautiful baby in the universe” (Stiles’ words) to the Alliteration-Verse.

There is an ‘us’ somewhere. It’s not here, it’s not even an uttered concept right now, but the novel idea of you and me together exists. Us. It’s hard to find in this noisy life, especially with people and clashing lifestyles obstructing the view. I find it, however—and keep finding myself in it—when our eyes meet. That’s us. When the world moves a half second ahead of us, riotous and oblivious, we find each other in a glance.
—  that moment of empty universe and you, just you, is my heaven

I keep thinking about the moment where Johannah realized she would never see her children grow older. She would never see Doris and Ernest grow up… It breaks my heart when I think of her having to accept that somehow. Especially since she was so devoted to motherhood and supporting and loving all her children. It must have been so hard for her to know she wouldnt be there for them every step of the way. I loved Johannah… My heart aches for her, Louis and all her children and family. It’s in moments like these I hope heaven truly exists and that they take care of her up there.

And as for Louis… I cannot imagine his pain right now. The only thing I do know is my love for my mother… And the thought of losing her, is something I cannot stand. Louis was and will always be a mommy’s boy. And I hope he finds courage in all the moments him and her shared together. He lost his best friend… And my heart cries for him.

I love how in XWP they filled every fanfic trope they could like
“Soulmates Au”
“Magical pregnancy”
“Raising a child together”
“We die but you went to heaven and I to hell so we created a war”
“Magical pregnancy part 2: demon”
“Slave/Empress”
“I lost my memory but I keep having visions of you and now I have to wake you with a true love kiss”

Trauma counselors organized an event in her honor. They decided it was a good idea to hold it at the pool house. That is, 20 feet away from where she was murdered …the previous week. Most of Megan’s friends turned up, as well as her parents. And Keith’s. Who thought they, of all people, should be the ones to speak:

“We all know that if Megan was here today, she’d forgive Keith for what he did,” said his mother. “He was not a bad person. It was the steroids that did this to him …” (He took a lot of steroids, and the possible effects of this became a major point of debate.) “It wasn’t his fault. The important thing is that they’re in heaven together now.”

Megan’s parents didn’t speak. Probably because they were speechless.

"He wasn’t that bad of a guy” was a common refrain.

“It was an intense relationship,” others would say, whatever that means.

He was a popular, athletic kid. This was how they justified his actions.

When I went back to school, my classmates asked if it had been gory (it was) and what it felt like (I didn’t know). My French teacher knew Megan and wanted to hear my story. So I sat after class and told her while she sobbed. The first time I really felt anything was when I was assigned a textbook for English class. They had us open up the book and sign our names, as did every previous owner of the book. The last name I saw there was “Megan Ridgeway.”

She was the last one to hold the book. She took it home with her, she flipped through its pages. It felt personal, real. I cried for almost a week.

I Watched My Friend Get Murdered, Right In Front Of My Eyes

No offense but I’m losing my mind at the fact that Sarah and Amy are going to a con together like…….

We’re actually gonna get new pics of them together and them talking about Root and Shaw and I just….. the heavens have opened up for me right now.

This is the best day of my life.

anonymous asked:

Giving Harry a blow job for the first time. Not your first time, but your first time together.

The praise! Oh my god, the PRAISE that boy would give you! You’re down on your knees and he’s got his hand on the back of your head and he swears to all of heaven that he’s never felt anything so incredible around his cock as your mouth right now.

It’s going to be a lot of moaning and whimpering and praises of,

“Doin’ so well for me, love.”

“Christ, your mouth feels so good.”

“Takin’ my cock so deep, baby.”

“Gonna make me cum so hard.”

“Y’gonna swallow all of it, like a good girl?”

Note.—This Angel, who is now become a Devil, is my particular friend. We often read the Bible together in its infernal or diabolical sense, which the world shall have if they behave well. 
I have also The Bible of Hell, which the world shall have whether they will or no.
— 

The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, William Blake.

Best footnote ever.

Heaven’s Soulmate

Pairing: Sam x reader, soulmate AU

Summary: Imagine sharing your personal heaven with your soulmate, but when you get there he’s the person you hate the most.

Words: 700 (exact! And I didn’t even plan it!)

Warnings: the reader dies peacefully so she can go to heaven, swearing, mentions of being nude (but no smut!)

A/N: This thing popped into my mind and I just had to make a short fic about it.


Originally posted by awkwardsamw


You smiled up at your husband’s face as memories of your life together rolled by like a movie before your eyes. You had seen him age along with you, counted and memorized every single wrinkle and freckle. One little accident and a cup of coffee turned into a lifetime spend together. And now that was all coming to an end. The smile that usually adorned your husband’s features was long gone.

“Don’t feel sad, Robbie. I’m going to a better place,” you whispered, your voice hoarse and weak. You felt the life slowly leave your body, your limbs heavy and numb. “Remember I’ll always love you.” And with those words you closed your eyes and let out your last breath.


Once you opened your eyes again you were laying in a foreign bed, in a foreign room with a foreign voice reverberating against the walls, the man’s singing muffled by water splashing down. You racked your brain to find any memory of how you had gotten there, but you found nothing. As you moved to sit up, you noticed how your limbs moved smoothly, not feeling the pain you had gotten used to. The cool wind blowing against your skin made goosebumps appear all over your form. You pulled the sheets closer to your body and only then registered your nakedness. And not just that.

You were young again.

The purple veins, the brown age spots and the wrinkles had vanished, your parchment skin returned to its former glory. Your nakedness forgotten you jumped up and rushed towards the mirror in the corner of the room. You took in your young self again, a look of fear and surprise etched in your smooth features. Your fingertips traced the taut skin of your face as you gazed at the body you thought you would never have again.

“Who are you?” a male voice woke you up from your trance. You shrieked loudly before you turned around and yanked the covers of the bed, pulling them towards you, effectively covering your bare self from his view. Your eyes widened when you recognized his face, his expression mimicking yours.

“You!” you both growled at the same time.

Sam fucking Winchester, the man you hated the most, was standing in front of you. Stark-naked. He noticed your eyes drifting down and quickly covered himself with a towel.

“What are you doing in my personal Heaven?” he spat out, giving you the most dirty look he could. You wanted to return his foul gaze until his words sunk in.

“I-I’m in Heaven?” you asked surprised.

“Personally I think you belong in Hell, but yes, you’re in Heaven. My Heaven,” he emphasized. “You shouldn’t be here.” The look he gave you was made of pure disbelief and disgust. “The only person that can enter my personal Heaven is…” His words faded out as his eyes widened. “Oh, God! Nonononono! This can’t be happening. Not you!” Sam rambled on.

He started pacing up and down the room, his fingers tangled in his damp locks. “I can’t stand you! You can’t be… This must be a joke… Fuck!” His attitude was starting to annoy you and the lack of context was only adding to it. You felt your blood boiling, your anger flaring to highs you never thought possible.

“Stop!” you raised your voice. “What the hell is going on?” You wanted answers right now. Why were you naked in a room with the person you hated the most? Why were you young again? Was this seriously Heaven? Because you pictured it very differently!

“You are my soulmate,” Sam mumbled, looking anywhere but you. A soft chuckle left your lips before it turned into a fit of laughter.

“You’re joking right?” you snickered as you tried to regain your breath. When your eyes landed on his face, the serious look told you otherwise. “Oh, God! You’re not joking.” Your mind went blank as you sat down onto the edge of the bed to steady yourself. You looked at the man who you had despised most of your life, who was meant to be your soulmate and could only think one thing. “Eternity is going to be a bitch.”


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OKAY BUT REN AND NORA HAVE BEEN TROUGH LITERAL HELL TOGETHER

SO YOU THINK NORA LOST THAT LITTLE HAMMER REN GAVE HER?? AND HIOW MUCH THAT MUST HAVE HURT HER AND OMG REN NOW COOKS FOR HER PANCAKES SHE WAS EATING BREAD FROM THE TRASH I. CA NT
AND THE OMG LISTEN B O O P. WAS PLAYING. A MELODY. OF BOOP. KILLLL MEEEEE THESE TWO CARE AND LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH