they are so focus

Many witches and wizards, talented though they are in the area of loud bangs and smells and sudden disappearings, are yet unable to penetrate the veiled mysteries of the future.

—Sybill Trelawney


Literally all the Muslims in my area are LOADED like they have huge houses and their parents are together and life is just immaculate for them

That’s why I focus so much on a relationship with God. Because if you are raised thinking that the goal is to be a good Christian, not to have a good relationship with God, we end up feeling like every time we sin, we fail.
When instead, if we focus on a relationship with God, we know that sin pushes us away from God, but we can always get closer to God again. It’s not about being good or bad, or perfect. Instead, we should focus on living a life that is pleasing to God and pulls us closer to God

Mental Scars // Break time for the mun.

@lavender-sans made me realize today that I need a break too.

My mental health is not doing well do to the toxic environment I’m living in. I need a break from tumblr so I can focus on managing my own mental and physical health.

I didn’t want to say anything about this cause I didn’t want anyone to worry about me. But I feel like I need to share my story.

I’m a 21 year old genderfluid panromantic. I have a family of 6

Me, my 3 brothers and my mom and dad.

I’ve been diagnosed with on and off clinical depression,

 anxiety and Asperger autism, 

social anxiety, 

panic attacks,

 hypochondriasis -meaning I’m really paranoid about my health and if I feel even a slight pain in my body my brain assumes the worst like: oh it must be cancer, or oh it’s diabetes, or oh I must be dying!- 


and selective mutism .

These huge walls of mental issues make it hard for me to do everyday activities and I often find myself forgetting things and getting confused at the simplest problems.

Despite my many mental issues and my physical issues such as: hypoglycemia - low blood sugar-  my weak hips and my legs that like to pop out of their sockets, and IBS {{ Irritable Bowel Syndrome. }}

My parents don’t seem to understand I am mentally and physically unable to handle situations that should seem simple. I literally cannot handle anyone raising their voice at me or full blown yelling at me or I will have a complete meltdown. I will be unable to speak or form a coherent sentence and will get too emotionally compromised when trying to speak that I will just stop speaking. 

This has caused many issues with my parents and I and when I don’t speak or answer them right away because of my inability to they will take my computer and phone and anything they can think of which only makes things worse because now I’ve lost everything I enjoy so it just makes me slide deeper into my depression. They already took my door leaving me with no privacy and mom’s called me lazy, selfish and unappreciative.

She even told me a few days ago: I don’t care what you have or what you think you have, other people have it worse than you.

And that was a huge mental slap in the face. I fucking know other people have it worse than me. But her saying that makes me feel so horribly guilty that I have issues. 

Suffering isn’t a competition.Her saying this basically tells me:  my pain is insignificant because others feel it too so I should just get over it.

Not only am I suffering but now I know that others are suffering just as much as me. That sucks. That really, really sucks. Now I’m sad for me and sad for other people.

My parents still continue to say and do all the wrong things with me. They have threatened to kick me out more times than I can count. They’ve threatened to put me outside in a tent and have me sleep there outside when they know that there are bears and coyotes close in our area. 

They’ve been guilt tripping me and using fear to make me do what they want. It’s not my fault that I forget or that I am too emotionally and physically drained that I have no motivation to get up and do things. They still treat me like I’m nothing but dirt under their shoes.

My dad will sometimes take his belt to my ass and whip me if I am crying. Which only makes it worse. You’d think they would have gotten the hint that something was really wrong with me when I ran away a few years ago.

Just yesterday my brother found my camera that had been missing for 4 years. I wanted it back. But the prick wouldn’t give it back so I told him that the camera was mine and I wanted it back. 

So I took it back - I was already frustrated because he’s been trying to take my computer and my tv from me by asking my mom and dad and me if he could have them. Even though we’ve told him no multiple times.- and then he goes in and bitches and moans to my mom and my mom comes out and gets in my face and tells me how selfish I am. 

And that I don’t need my camera because I haven’t used it. I kept telling her I just didn’t know where it was and that I wanted it back because it was mine. Then she laughed and threatened to take away everything in my room from me because she said since she paid for it that the stuff was hers. But I disagree because when you give someone something then they are the new owner of said item given. 

I asked her right out: Would you let me have my brother’s DS if I asked him for it. 

- she avoided the answer like the hypocrite she is just to torment me. Of course she wouldn’t let me have my brother’s DS if I asked for it but oh yeah sure she’ll let my brother take my camera. She always favored my brothers over me anyways.-

It doesn’t matter if I didn’t pay for it or not, you gave it to me. it’s like giving someone a stuffed animal for free at a garage sale. That stuffed toy is now theirs because you relinquished your ownership of the stuffed animal to someone else to keep. It’s like giving away free kittens, that kitten now belongs to the person who came by and gives it a home.

So yes by all means and intent this room, these clothes, my pc, and my shit is my shit. Just cause I didn’t pay for them doesn’t mean I don’t have ownership. When you give someone something to keep and to use as their own and how they please then whatever you gave them is now theirs. 

Money shouldn’t = ownership all the time. 

Sure if you pay for something and have it for your use then yes this item you paid for is yours but as soon as you give it away it’s like a donation.

 If you give an item to someone for their usage then that item is now THEIRS. Just like when you donate canned food, those canned foods now belong to the children that receive the cans. You wouldn’t go back and take the canned food away from the children now would you? So don’t do it to your own children. If you give them something as a gift then it is theirs. Plain and simple.

You don’t have to have money to own a cave in the wilderness do you? No that cave is yours and no one can claim it. You don’t have to have money to make your own clothes and have them be yours do you? No those clothes are yours. If you give someone something as a gift then YES they are the new owner of that something.

So it’s bullshit my parents take away my stuff. My mom was in my face yelling: Give me the computer it’s MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE! I PAID FOR IT!

NO FUCK YOU MOM my pc is mine, dad gave it to me just like you and dad gave me my dog. I am their owner, you have no right to take them away from me or take away my pc or phone. I don’t care if you paid for them you gave them to me as a gift. You can’t just take them away. I’m not your property and you don’t own me. 

You wouldn’t take back a gift you gave to your friend or parents would you? So no don’t take my shit. You know very well that once you give something up the person you gave it to is the owner. If you wouldn’t take back a gift you bought someone for Christmas from your friends or parents then don’t fucking do it to your child.

I’m so sick of all the mental abuse. I need time away to focus on myself and get myself the help I need because my mom and dad sure as hell won’t help me. I need to get my mental and physical health checked and I need to earn enough money to get away from my parents. 

Hell even my two younger brothers are horrible to me. They once pinned me down and started beating on me. Now don’t say that’s bullshit, my younger brothers are now taller than me and physically stronger. They call me names like: bitch, stupid fuck, asshole, and many other names. They tell me to shut up and they don’t appreciate my help.

My parents say I don’t give a damn about anyone but myself, seems like they’ve forgotten all the shit I’ve done for them for years. Like doing everyone’s laundry, cleaning up the upstairs multiple times, staying up with them when one of them is ill. 

Hell when my dad had the swine flu I was up with him for three fucking nights ILL WITH THE SWINE FLU MYSELF, doing everything he asked. Talking to him, I always tell my parents I love them when they leave and tell them to be careful while driving.

I watched 2 children for almost a year and a half -changing their rank ass diapers- with no fucking pay because a family friend was going through a hard time and getting divorced. Yet they still say shit like I’m selfish, lazy, ungrateful, unappreciative and shit. 

NO fuck that. I bust my ass as best as I can, all while fighting my mental and physical issues. I’m exhausted, I’m tired and I’m done with your guilt trips, I’m done with the mental abuse, I’m done with having my ass beaten. I’m done with you taking away my shit.

I’m sorry everyone but I will be taking a break I need to help me help myself since my parents sure as hell don’t give a damn about my mental or physical health.

I need to get money which means I need to focus on getting myself a job so I can finally move out and leave this toxic environment where everything is my fault and I’m such a selfish and horrible person. And they still have the nerve to tell me that they love me. 

Yeah right if you loved me you would be doing whatever you could to help me with my mental and physical issues instead of using any little mistake I make as an excuse to take things that bring joy to my life away.

I’m so done with this family rn. As soon as I move out I’m cutting ties with my mom and my two youngest brothers. The only ones I can remotely stand is one of my brothers who is only a few years younger than me and my dad. Sure my dad has a temper but he’s a lot better than my mom and I’m more close to my dad. But as soon as I move out it’s bye bye mom and bye bye my two younger brothers.

I’m sorry guys but I need to focus on getting out of this toxic environment. I cannot spend all my time on tumblr anymore. I need to start looking out for my mental and physical health and I can’t do that when I’m on tumblr 24/7 

I hope you all understand. I’m going to take a break from tumblr, if you do want to contact me pm me for my skype. Otherwise the only things I will do on tumblr is some rps but I won’t be answering any questions on my blogs or doing any events or stuff like that.

 I won’t be holding any contests -the design my Sans contest is on hold for now, you can still design Sanses and send them in to my submission box but know they will be sitting there for a long while before I resume the contest- I am putting the raffle prizes on hold -sorry guys- and most of my rps I started with anyone will be on hold while I get my life together.

I hope you all understand. 

Thank you for your time.

Just remember that you are 100% worth it. Doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks of you. Your opinion is what matters. So focus on you. Be the best that you can be. Live how you want to and find what makes you happiest my friends.

Don't Skip Meals
  • Don't Skip Meals
  • Mystic Messenger

It’s me… Jaehee Kang.

I didn’t have anything in particular to say. I just… wanted to hear your voice.

Isn’t that quite strange? I feel comfortable talking with you. I think about it time to time even at work.

Uhm… I hope you’re eating properly.
Even if you skip dinner to lose weight, you must have breakfast and lunch. I read an article that said that this morning.

MC: Try not to skip meals yourself, please.

Oh yes… perhaps I’m not in the position to worry about others. I skipped breakfast today.
Still, I know how difficult it is to focus when you haven’t consumed nutrients… so I hope you are healthier than me.

I feel like my days are the same every day, but I’m glad to have someone to call at least once a day.

I hope I’m not bothering you…

It’d be nice to go see a movie together after the party. I’ve never had many friends because I was busy working.

Oh, I think someone is calling for me. I must get going.

Please don’t skip your meals… and have a good day.

anonymous asked:

I'm choosing to believe she working on the album and jimmy iovine (the husband of the birthday girl) is co producing it hahhah

Jimmy Iovine still owes me one last Apple Music commercial so he better focus on that and deliver ASAP

Update on the progress in Welgaea

So a while back, November of last year or so, I took a break from Welgaea to focus on a side project I’d been working on which was Tofu Tower. I hit it hard, but I got it done! Some time in February. I’d been blitzing the game so hard I was honestly burnt out and took a break from development before getting back to work on Welgaea. I did do some Welgaea universe stuff since then, such as the new character sheets and updating their profiles here. (Check the beginning of my Welgaea tag for character sheets on all the characters) But I’m finally starting to get back to work on the game proper.

There has been a bit of a set back though. Well, a set back I’d decided on a year ago but I don’t think I’d publicly mentioned. You see I’d started developing Welgaea in Multimedia Fusion, which is a fairly powerful engine, but as time went on I became more and more aware of the limitations of it. To name a few, I couldn’t get a map to work how I wanted with rooms displaying as you explored them, as you expect maps to do. Also a lot of oddities that came from the fact I’d started making the game a very long time ago before I knew what I was doing, and didn’t take delta time into account, and was developing at a fairly small resolution. Of course one of the biggest issues was that I couldn’t use global code so I had the entire engine’s code copied into each room. If I wanted to change the code I had to copy it over and tweek it accordingly into every single room. Not to mention I’m using an old version of MMF that isn’t really supported any more.

I’d recently completed the decorated maps for a large area. I had originally intended to make and even decorate all of the rooms and fill with enemies later. I more recently realized that I need to design rooms alongside enemy placement. So I did a lot of research into enemy development. I realized, while doing this research, that the fact I had to copy the entire engine’s code over to every room after every change was going to be unreasonable. I had made the engine as solid as I possibly could, but now that I had some space to move and explore and interact with the rest of the game I realized I couldn’t make an engine up front and then never change it. Things were going to come up, be it design changes to play better or just bug fixes. Especially once you start interacting with enemies. I was going to be copying a lot of code a lot.

Now most of these problems go away if I’m developing in Construct 2, which is what I made Tofu tower in. I decided that even if it would be a major setback, I would be better off remaking the game in Construct 2. Now it being a major setback is an understatement, as I’d essentially be remaking literally everything I’ve done so far. However, I’m doing this with a lot more experience, so I can work much faster, I’m doing it with the previous code as reference, so I can see exactly how I did it before, and I’m doing it with all of the assets I’ve already made already done.

It’s going to take me some time to get back to where I was, but I’m honestly confident that as big as the delays were going to get in MMF that I’m STILL going to be able to finish the game faster than if I’d stayed in MMF. It’ll also give me the chance to update some very old, very bad code, as well as refine a lot of parts of the game I’d really wanted to but was unable to. So I should not only be able to make a better game, but I should still be able to finish it faster, even if I’ve got to retread some steps.

I’ve been working on this for a week or so now and I’m making some good progress. I’m hoping to be back where I was by the end of the year.

anonymous asked:

i'm so afraid of growing up,,, and instead of doing something with my youth i just spend time crying over how little i'm gonna do with my short life because i'm afraid and unmotivated. i'm only 14 i shouldn't feel like i'm gonna die in a couple years

Oh my gosh you have so much time!! You are too young to be worrying about all these things. Focus on just being happy! You have so many years ahead of you.

Are you mostly into the Adonis-like droids, or do any work for you? :)

Personally, I am attracted to the idea of humanoid robots that look (almost) identical to male humans, which is the focus of my posts. So, C-3PO and R2-D2 and Wall-E and company would not get me aroused (I’m sorry they look like rudimentary machines with antiquated technology), but regardless, it would be cool to meet variations on their design because I think I would like friendly, intelligent robots in general (I will only know for sure if the opportunity presents itself). I like the robots that have a synthetic origin. Polymers, circuitry, wires, panels, and servos, yes!!! A googol times, yes!!! Cyborg enhancements are definitely okay, to a degree, of course, as long as actual humans were not harmed in the process of making them. Actual cyborgs… it depends… I think that I can work with those whose nervous systems are robotic in nature. The transformation of a human into an android to achieve a degree of immortality is a bit (no offense) off-putting in general, but in the right context, it can be somewhat palatable. Also, I get turned off immediately by the thought of organic/bioengineered androids or replicants that were prepared in an assembly-line fashion. I have no qualms with clones, oddly enough, unless the point is to “bring someone back from the dead,” which also is extremely unsavory, to me at least (my stance on this issue has changed over time since I did not see any real harm in it when I was younger, but now I know that is not the case).

Physically, I think that my taste is varied. When I was growing up I wanted my own Chip (Jay Underwood) or Bonus (Alan Thicke) from Not Quite Human, Andrew (Robin Williams) from Bicentennial Man, Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger) from the eponymous series, Ken (Julian Sands) from The Tomorrow Man, The Gunslinger (Yul Brinner, but with hair, he looks better with hair) from Westworld, etc. I still fancy them, but their mechanical origin is probably what excites me the most. At the present time, my eyes wander to big muscular models with distinct masculine and symmetrical attributes, usually with Caucasian or mixed features, and a sense of proportionality, but I also know that their respective personalities would affect my level of attraction and general interest in vivo.

For instance, I would love to meet a Makana (How soon until he is real?), Similo (I love him), Kyle (and his sex robot friends from “Man Seeking Woman,” I need them by yesterday), Vic, Neil, Peel, Kyle, Ash (from BlackMirror), or Adam (from Sentient, but I would disable his combat programming and autodestruct feature) model. The two versions of the android from “high maintenance bot,” especially the upgraded version, and the French unit from “Virtual Dating” (minus the violent version of his malfunction; I thoroughly enjoyed the ball-scratching bit) have been in my fantasies since I saw those videos ages ago. I have not even mentioned the androids only addressed in stories on Tumblr, AO3, and Studs in Stone… (I need to stop this and get back to work). I would like to “acquire” one of each. It would be great if I could test each one out. It would be nice if we were to hit it off and become companions, and even lovers (that is, some nonempty subset of the list of androids alluded to above ;), hahahaha), but it’s just an obsessive fantasy at this point in time…(sigh)…

(Special thanks to @chiptheandroid for asking this question)

Spock accidentally wearing Leonard’s shirt one more on his way to the bridge and having to deal with all of the looks and comments.

he wonders why he still smells Leonard nearby, but ultimately chalks it up to just enjoying the familiar scent so much that it lingers around him. 

It’s Nyota who informs him with a simply hand gesture towards her own uniform. When he finally looks down to see what she’s trying to tell him, he just take’s a deep breath and closes his eyes. this is the fifth time in a month and he’s sure Leonard is going to enjoy it just as much as he did the last four times. Not to mention how Jim will react.

So he collects himself, goes to his station and tries his best to focus on his work. If he pulls the shirt up a bit and closest his eyes so he can focus on Leonard’s scent still lingering on the shirt, well that’s not his fault. How can you blame him when it’s addicting.