Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.
So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.
Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.
Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.
Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).
So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.
His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.
So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.
And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.
There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.
So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.
And then quietly gasped.
And then furiously started typing into their phones.
And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-
Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.
EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.
So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.
So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.
We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.
A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂
Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.
fangirl challenge - [16/50] female characters ♡ sutton brady “I didn’t go to FIT.
I should have told you.
I went to Penn State, and I lived at home, ‘cause it was the only thing I could afford.
I have no fashion background at all.
I never even worked in a mall.
But I’ve devoured fashion magazines since I was a kid, and I have impeccable taste. I want this more than I’ve wanted anything in my entire life, and I would work my ass off for you.”
When I first started college a year ago, I had a very little idea of the year to come. I knew it would be nothing like the movies and if anything I was hoping to make some new friends. In nearly a months thousands upon thousands of others like me will be taking their first step into college feeling the same as I did. So I am here to give my five pieces of advice that will be good to know during your first week of school.
1. Don’t panic on move in day.
I was rare among my friends where instead of going to a college close to home, I went somewhere two hours away from my house. It had always been a dream of mine to get out there and try and become someone new. But when move in day came I was a mess. I cried when I said goodbye to my cat, when we left my street, and when the signs came up that we were getting closer to the college. But I learned that it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel emotion when you leave a home you’ve been at most of your life. But unlike me, I had many friends who did not cry on move in day. It’s okay if you do or your don’t, neither makes you better than the other.
Nothing is going to go smoothly on move in day. Someone will get lost or something may break. You may unpack your things in the wrong room. You may realize you left something vitally important at home that you can’t go a day without. It’s okay. Forgetting something is normal. I know my mother was mailing little things I had forgotten at home the day after I left. Just because you don’t have those things now doesn’t mean the world is going to end. Your college dream will not be crushed.
Basically my advice is: take deep breaths throughout the day. Someone is going to drive you crazy or make you upset. Don’t let that get to you. This is the beginning to something awesome.
2. Don’t be afraid to eat alone.
At the college I attend, I knew no one there. A few kids from my high school went but I didn’t know them well enough to become friends with them. I was put into a suite which meant that I lived with seven other girls(not as terrifying as you would think.) So when dinner time came around I found myself lost. My roommate had gone off with some girls she had met and I knew no one else in my suite. So I went by myself to the dining hall and ate alone. Of course I was texting and snapchating my friends so I wasn’t completely alone. But as I looked around the hall, I realized there were a lot of other kids there too, eating alone and looking nervous.
Eating alone turned out to be a good thing because as I left, a girl in my building stopped me on the way out. She remembered me from the hall meeting and worked for Housing. She said “I saw you eating alone and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me and a few of my friends to go see a movie on the lawn.” I was surprised she asked me but I gladly excepted. I didn’t really talk to that girl again but it was a nice start to a great semester.
Advice: Do what’s comfortable for you. I decided to eat alone because I wanted to face my fears. I knew people who stayed in their rooms all night because that was comfortable for them. Whatever works for you do it.
3. There is a 50% chance you will become friends with your roommate
This is always a complicated because there are so many people who have so many different situations. My roommate and I were good friends during the first semester but by the time the second semester ended we barely spoke. A lot of our problems were miscommunication and both of us were too stubborn to try and fix things after a long semester of fighting.
This may not be your situation. I know many people who have kept in touch with their old roommates and are still good friends. I also know people who can barely speak their name without wanting to throw up. Don’t let this get you down. Everyone is different in their way of communicating and discovering who they are.
Advice: Keep communication open. If you aren’t comfortable with what your roommate is doing, say something. Bring a mutual friend that can help if that makes you more comfortable. But also vice versa. If your roommate comes to you with a problem she/he has, listen and try to compromise. Communication is key.
4. Leave your room
It is very tempting to hide in your room all weekend and watch videos on Netflix or Youtube. But hiding in your room is something your shouldn’t do. Try to look up events that are happening on campus. If you’re an Introvert like me, the thought of socializing makes you tense. But try and build the courage to go to at least one event. This will make you so much more comfortable with the people around you and get you use to the flow of the college.
Many clubs try their advertising during the first week of school. Get yourself out there and try to find something that suits your eye. Most colleges have a huge variety when it comes to the clubs and organizations they have. Maybe you’ll find the one that suits you best.
Advice: Leave your room. You won’t regret it.
5. The first year is the hardest
My first year of college was a lot of ups and downs. I like to focus on the ups but also remembering how I got to the downs. No one’s first year is going to be perfect. There are so many tests, projects, and speeches that seem so far in the future but come so fast. If you can, try to make at least one friend in every class. That way you have someone that can give you advice or even help you along the way.
I was lucky enough that my close friend at college now had the exact same schedule as me during our first semester. We have become so close since and I don’t regret the day we started talking.
Finally I would like to say that college isn’t for everyone. It’s okay if after your first semester you say “This isn’t right for me.” or even after your first year. The first year is a trial period to figure out who you are and who you want to become. I hope this helps anyone out there who may be stressing over college right now.
Hello gainers of all shapes and sizes. Today’s post is about tricks you can use to maximize your weight gain. From lighting to subliminal messaging to your plate size and color, I’m going to teach you how to trick yourself into getting fat. This post makes references to psychological, chemical, biological and historical studies, all impacting weight gain, and makes it easy to digest. Let’s get right into it!