they are like checking each other

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Random screens……

Sylas walking past their house at 1am.

Pace running past and looking very bored (maybe he shouldn’t exercise ALL THE TIME lol).

Luciano walking past their house at 6am.

Vance and Stefano once again fishing together…but not.  Come on game, you sent them to fish together, can’t you at least put them next to each other?

If you’d like to read the Runaways (Sophie/Caleb) Legacy from the beginning and check out my other stories, please click here.

Runaways Legacy History - a synopsis in one post

anonymous asked:

is there any fics where D/H realised that she/he loved each other by their patronuses? like hermione's patronus changed from otter to other animal? i've checked the tags but i've read them all, thank you xx

Found one:

The Secret By: PastelDreaming - T, 7 chapters - What happens when Draco and Hermione accidentally blow their secret in DADA by a simple patronus…

- Lisa

calypsolovesleo  asked:

caleo mortal high school au

Why of course!

Headcanons:

- Calypso being homeschooled
- Leo being the “outsider kid”
- Calypso starting school in the middle of the year
- Her and Leo bonding over being outsiders
- Bantering. All the bantering.
- Like if you didn’t know them you’d think they hated each other
- And slowly they fall in love
- But neither of them will admit it
- So eventually their mutual friends (Piper, Percy, Annabeth, Jason) set them up
- It’s literally so cringe and stereotypical like
- “Oh Leo can you come here for a minute and check this out for me?”
- “Hey, Calypso, come on over here for a second!”
- They walk over to a picnic and the other four are hiding in a bush
- And they’re so awkward but they sit down, eat and talk and eventually they kiss
- And Percy and Piper pretty much jump out of the bush and give them away
- And Leo and Calypso are all blushy like “Guys why were you watching us!”
- But they’re so cute
- And they slay everyone and the whole school ships them
- And they probably win prom King and Queen even though they’re not popular
- And they’re not even at a Prom because they decided “Meh let’s stay in and eat chips and watch movies and cuddle”
- And they are so filthy sometimes
- Like the little comments that Leo will whisper to her and sometimes the others hear her and they’re N A S T Y A F
- Despite that they probably never have sex because they’re more like friends+kisses+cuddles than relationship
- And Leo gets in trouble all the time and gets suspended and Calypso is like “Babe now I don’t get to see you stop getting in trouble!”
- And they both stress so hard about exams
- And motivate each other during their four am- all night- coffee fuelled- Skype study sessions
- And they get part time jobs together and will give the dirtiest look to any customer that flirts with the other one
- And I’m stopping now because I could probably go on forever.

Harb Boibled Ebbs

or 5 Times Jack Pretended to be Allistic, and One Time He Didn’t
—-
1.
Jack is five and sitting on the couch next to his maman, the room filled with other Pens WAGs and their children of varying ages. The Pens are facing the Caps tonight for their first Stanley Cup match and Alicia is hosting. All the other children are playing with each other, but not Jack. They don’t like him, but Jack doesn’t like them either, so he sits with his maman instead of huddling with the other boys who are all playing Power Rangers.

He’s tired but still keyed up from the meltdown he had in therapy. “It’s normal,” the therapist had told his maman. “There’s going to be a lot of meltdowns in the first few months.” There’s dull pain in his arms from where’d he’d clawed at them with his own hands, and the ghost of his therapist restraining him with her arms sits just under his skin like an itch he can’t get rid of.

The game on TV succumbs to background noise as the boys roughhouse and the WAGs chat (and occasionally yell at the game), and beneath it all is the radio in the kitchen that Alicia forgot to turn off when the game started. The other kids seem to thrive in the noisy environment, but Jack’s head just hurts, so he presses his palms hard against his ears, trying to muffle the noise that won’t stop. He’s rocking back and forth in his seat and he almost starts to feel calmer, less likely to explode, when maman creases her forehead and raises an eyebrow at him.

He pulls his hands away and sits on them instead.

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cocked & loaded [dwayne johnson/vin diesel]

okay, so if i were to write the academy award-winning and world peace-establishing screenplay where Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson and Vin Diesel slowly fall in love, this is what it would look like:

  • vin and dwayne would be bitter Rival Agents for an intelligence agency. both would be up for a Big Promotion.  they would both be working together (but against each other) on something something black market mafia.  the mafia would be involved.  they would be VERY CLOSE to cracking this case.  
  • whoever cracks the case gets the promotion! because things like this are always very clear-cut in movies.  and whoever gets the promotion is the Better Agent, and it’s settled forever.
  • what they don’t expect is when they finally go in to make the Big Bust on The Family is that the Big Players will still be at large–and there will be a BABY.  
  • the baby will fall into agency custody, and will require surveillance in a remote safehouse.
  • “i need YOU TWO to pretend and be this baby’s GAY DADS to protect the baby and keep The Family off our tail while we close in on them,” says Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o.  
  • dwayne and vin and baby are begrudgingly moved to a suburb of provincetown, massachusetts. cut to shot of a FOR SALE sign being pulled down, a ford fusion hybrid pulling up behind a moving van.  dwayne and vin step out.  they are both wearing muscle shirts and mirror-lensed aviators.  dwayne grabs a baby bag, throws it over his shoulder.  vin grabs the car seat out of the back, and both of them walk-slow motion up the side walk to their new 800k beach house.  
  • here’s what they expect: passive aggressive co-existence for a couple of weeks, where they try to be the Better Dad in a bid for the promotion they both want.  dwayne will go jogging with the baby every morning!! vin will wear her in a sling when he goes to the farmer’s market and smiles at the vendors while feeling up avocados and selecting fresh caught filets of fish!! 
  • here’s what they don’t expect: their next door neighbors are going to be Channing Tatum and Idris Elba and their five beautiful, interracial babies.  they are the perfect Gay Family, but “also,” dwayne says, pushing vin inside from where he’s been grilling steaks and drinking MILLER out of a CAN in broad daylight for the Real Gay Family to see and call over from their patio!!! “these guys are the REAL DEAL.  they’re gonna know something’s up!  i know we’ve had our beef, but we gotta step our game up and work together if we’re gonna make this operation work.”  
  • “you’re right,” vin says.  he’s nodding, looking at a ground, but then up and meeting dwayne’s gaze. “you’re RIGHT.” they’re gonna make this partnership work!!! they are going to be the BEST GAY DADS.
    • CUT TO: vin and dwayne staring at the king sized mattress in the master bedroom.  “i can just–” vin says, but dwayne grabs him by the shoulder and shakes it playfully.  “no man,” he says. “it’s all in or nothing.” 
    • CUT TO: them jogging together with baby playfully squealing from her stroller early in the morning.  
    • CUT TO: vin playfully feeding dwayne grapes at the farmer’s market.  “it’s all or nothing,” he repeats, raising his eyebrows (???? eyebrow folds? idk man). dwayne rolls his eyes and TAKES THE BITE.  
  • CUT TO: channing tatum in monogrammed shorts and pink polo and boat shoes on their front door step with one of his many perfect, precious toddlers on his shoulders, asking them to dinner.  “uh yeah,” dwayne says, cool as a cucumber. he’s not freaking out (he’s totally freaking out!!).  “we’ll bring the wine.”
  • “we’ll bring the wine?” vin repeats, in a hushed voice so the neighbors and baby don’t hear them fighting. “do you know anything about wine? they probably have a second house in france!  i haven’t had anything that didn’t come from a box since–since ever! what were you thinking?” “i panicked!  it seemed like the right thing to say!” 
    • TIRES SCREECH as the ford focus hybrid drifts into the whole foods parking lot.  
  • they show up out of breath, foreheads glistening, with baby in her favorite babybjorn, feet kicking from the day’s excitement of wine shopping.  vin, wheezing, passes a bottle of red and a bottle of white.
    • “oh, a chateau coutet barsac,” idris says with a chuckle, showing the label to channing. “remember that time–?” and oh my GOD, they have inside jokes!! 
    • (”we don’t have any inside jokes!!” dwayne whispers when they immediately excuse themselves halfway through a tour of the house. “that’s because you are the least funny person i know!” vin replies. “god, i hate you!!!” they both probably hiss at each other.)
  • the worst and best part of the night is when they’re serving the roast veg salad, and channing says with the best intentions, “so, how did you two meet?”
    • “uh,” vin says.
    • “the gym,” dwayne says. which, actually turns out to be true.  they look at each other, smile soft and genuine for once at each other, REMEMBERING. before they were BITTER RIVALS, they met at the academy gym and were GYM BUDDIES.  they used to have FUN trying to beat each other’s PR on the treadmill, they used to LOVE shit talking each other when they spotted each other bench pressing, they used to snap towels at each other’s asses in the locker room and totally not check each other out or anything!!! and then they were both accepted to the same position at work and they stopped being friendly for whatever reason.  they stop smiling, they look away from each other.  “anyway.”
    • “we met building houses for habitat for humanity,” idris offers, because of COURSE THEY DID.
  • the second worst part of the night is when channing mentions during the dessert course that two weeks from now is the annual May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, and maybe dwayne and vin would like to host to get to know everyone else in the neighborhood! 
  • vin has had like, three more glasses of wine than everyone else, and with aid of liquid confidence, shrugs his shoulders and leans back in his chair and says, “yeah, man, we’d love to.”
    • “’yeah, man, we’d love to?’” dwayne repeats when they’re walking home, baby asleep in her bjorn. 
    • “sorry, did you want me to give ourselves away? what happened to being the best? we’re trying to be believable!” 
    • “yeah,” dwayne says, watching vin strip off his shirt and pants and toss them over his shoulder into their spare hamper before crawling into their bed.  it’s routine.  they both have their sides of the bed.  “believable.”
    • the bedroom is quiet as they face away from each other at the edges of the mattress.  eventually dwayne asks, “do you remember why we stopped being friends?”
    • for a second he thinks maybe vin’s gone to sleep.  but he turns over.  “no,” he says.  “or yeah, maybe. as soon as i realized we would both be seeing action, it became too much of a risk.  friendship.  it was easier to lose you as a friend on my terms than lose you as a friend because you got your dumbass killed.”
    • they decide to be friends again.  you know, for the baby.  for work. whatever.  
  • they get so caught up in planning the May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, making inside jokes and ignoring the increasing casual physical intimacy between them that they don’t realize they are BEING WATCHED.
  • the mafia is HERE and they want their BABY and they want dwayne and vin DEAD.  
  • the M.D.H.N.B.P.C.C happens and everything is going according to plan, and they are about to have dwayne judge the bisque portion of the competition, but no one has seen dwayne anywhere!!!!
  • are there warehouses in provincetown??? is there a bad part of provincetown??? anyways, that’s probably where the mafia took dwayne.  vin is FREAKING OUT, how does he save dwayne??? how does he protect the baby, who they are using dwayne as ransom for??? who will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookoff???
  • idris puts a hand on his shoulder.  he’s been watching the entire time.  “i’ll take the baby into our panic room–” OF COURSE THEY HAVE A PANIC ROOM, “and channing will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookofff.  you go save your man.”
  • CUT TO: vin getting geared up to go out and kick some mafia ass, entering their walk-in closet and grabbing GUNS and a BULLET PROOF VEST and lacing up his L.L BEAN MEN’S GORETEX LEATHER BOOTS.  
  • vin takes out the entire warehouse-or-whatever of mafia lackeys and comes across dwayne tied up and blindfolded.
  • “who’s there!” dwayne demands, like he’s ready to fight despite himself.  vin takes three strong steps forward and grabs him by the back of the head and pulls him in for a kiss.  “guess who,” he replies.  dwayne smiles.
  • just then the Final Boss shows up as dwayne is being untied and like, something dramatic happens or whatever, but it’s okay.  they die or go to jail or something, it doesn’t really matter, because dwayne and vin are in LOVE and they’re gonna adopt the hell out of that baby.
  • CUT TO: a month later.  Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o is disappointed when vin won’t accept his promotion.  
  • “i would,” he says, heavily decorated for saving dwayne in the field and taking down the mafia family.  “but the code of conduct says that it would be a conflict of interest if i was my husband’s supervisor.” BAM! THE END.  THEY’RE MARRIED.  WORLD PEACE UNLOCKED.   DONALD TRUMP IMPEACHED.  EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
why you should all consider getting chickens
  • a small backyard, a decent fence and the will to make a safe coop for your fluffy dames is all you need to make it happen
  • they will eat your vegetable scraps and gobble down pretty much any kind of food waste, turning discarded crusts and mushy fruit into big fat eggs full of protein!
  • and depending on which breed you buy, they will lay an egg almost every day. free, nutritious food every morning! what other pet will do that?
  • it’s a misconception that eating eggs is inherently cruel, or that you need a rooster for your chickens to lay eggs! all the eggs you buy in supermarkets are unfertilised, which means there is no chance of that egg ever hatching. you’re not eating a potential life, your chickens will lay eggs regardless of whether there’s a rooster around
  • so only buy a rooster to go with your lovely ladies if you want baby chicks - otherwise, just get some girls and enjoy those omelettes!
  • the way cage egg farms are run is terrible, and you can’t always be sure that a free range farm is as idyllic as the picture you see on the carton. lots of sad chookies who can’t perch or scratch or eat grass and clean themselves. :( 
  • this way, you will always be certain that your girls are happy, healthy, doing what chicken are meant to do and eating what chickens should be eating, which means bigger and better eggs for you!
  • you can give eggs to your friends! give eggs to strangers! eggs for everyone!
  • tiny and furious lawnmowers. chickens LOVE grass, especially clover. if you have a small backyard, they will do all the work of keeping the grass trimmed. 
  • a caution, pls buy your chicken a friend - they will get lonely if you only buy one. my friend had two chickens and one died, leaving Gizmo all alone. she got depressed and stopped laying, so they put her in the rabbit hutch. now she has a best friend bunny called Jimmy and she’s very happy! she often sits on him and purrs.
  • chickens are good around most other pets - cats and chickens usually regard each other with mutual indifference and disdain, but they generally bond with dogs. however, if you know your pooch or kitty is particularly aggressive, make sure you check it won’t be a problem!
  • scratch scratch scratch, scratch party!!
  • one time I was cleaning out the stables and my chicken came over, saw that I was using a big rake and went !!!! scratch time!!! and she started scratching furiously next to me like she was trying to help
  • they’re very clean animals and will clean themselves every day with a dust bath and a thorough preening
  • when it starts raining it takes them a good 10 seconds to process what’s happening, then they RUN to shelter
  • gloriously stupid tiny velociraptor running
  • peck peck peck. is food? I check! peck. not food!
  • rip all snails and slugs that live in your garden
  • they will also go after mice and spiders
  • chicken poop is great fertiliser! when you clean out their coop, spread the poo on your garden and watch your flowers and veggies grow!
  • kiddos LOVE chickens!!
  • seriously, looking after chickens is a great job for little kids - any little fella can fill up their water and give them some food, and collecting a warm, fresh egg every morning is so rewarding for them!!! 
  • hours of entertainment watching their antics
  • some (not all) like a cuddle! the ladies will let you know what their preference is. they may also gently peck and groom you because they love you.
  • you can give them fancy names like lottie, ethel and lady beatrice so it sounds like they’re a supporting cast in a Jane Austen novel
  • in conclusion give a pretty chicken a happy home today
silly ladynoir things
  • chat starts Shit Talking Sundays bc there are some days when chat just needs to talk about how dumb his dad is being and ladybug needs to scream about this bratty bully in her history class
  • on days when they’re bored, they’ll board the metro in costume and ride it for a few stops purely for the shock value
  • chat finds out ladybug can’t whistle and spends every available opportunity trying to teach her
    • cn: *squishes her cheeks between his hands* you’re not pursing your lips enough and your tongue isn’t positioned correctly, try again
    • lb: my tongue is sitting in my mouth what do you mean it’s not positioned correctly i don’t ???????
  • joint naps during patrols are very much a thing bc these kids never sleep between school and akuma attacks. sometimes, if you’re lucky, you’ll find ladybug snoring on a rooftop with chat noir laid on top of her, drooling on her shoulder
  • when patrols get boring, ladybug will hop on chat noir’s back, make him shut his eyes, and act as his eyes while they try to patrol the city before switching places. they don’t talk about that time chat was laughing too hard to warn ladybug about the ledge and they almost fell off a roof. 
  • hide and seek games that last literally hours
    • they both cheat and bring their phones to stalk social media tags and see if anyone’s posted tips and/or sightings of them so that they can find the other
  • chat’s really good at massages so sometimes he’ll work out the kinks in ladybug’s shoulders when they have downtime bc “wow you carry so much tension in your neck please tell me you’re not hunched over your desk all day”
  • the eiffel tower is their honorary “it’s 3am and we can’t sleep” meeting place. 
  • they’ll often drop into parks and playgrounds and join with some of the neighborhood kids on games of tag, frisbee, and football
  • they have a going scoreboard for their impromptu arm wrestling competitions. last they checked the score was 32-35 with ladybug in the lead. 
  • they each have their own personal lists of dumb/funny things that the other has said
    • chat’s list of things ladybug has said: “sleep isn’t a thing you know. they lied to you. it’s not real,” “you ever wonder if i can spin a web with my yoyo?” “can lucky charm conjure me an A for this physics test tomorrow?” “i almost had my cat-eye eye liner perfect today before that akuma appeared and messed me up like that proximity to perfection might never happen again.”
    • ladybug’s list of things chat has said: “is there a place where we can borrow a microwave? i wanna see what happens if i use cataclysm on it,” “memes are like the dysfunctional family you didn’t ask for but didn’t know you needed,” “im like terrified an akuma attack is gonna happen when i’m in the shower while im naked and vulnerable,” “if i extend my staff long enough, do you think it’ll reach space?”

today i thought of the actual Worst miraculous ladybug fake dating au ever

so ladybug and chat noir exchange phone numbers (let’s say adrien and marinette don’t already have each other’s) and o/c ladybug says only to call her in an emergency but then chat is like “you didn’t say anything about texting so check out this meme”

anyway so it goes on and they actually end up texting constantly and grinning at their phones the entire time. 

and alya notices. she notices them both doing this at the exact same time. so of course now she thinks they’re secretly dating.

she confronts marinette and of course marinette has no better explanation, and neither does adrien when alya gets nino to ask him about it

so now adrien and marinette are pretending to be secretly dating to cover up their secret identities but they also haven’t told each other that they’re pretending to be secretly dating so they’re secretly pretending to be secretly dating to cover up their secret identities.

plagg: “you morons. you absolute morons.”

The signs hugging

Aries: Pounds your back to make sure you know how intense their love is

Taurus: Perfectly aligns hearts and holds you tight. A powerful warmth begins to spread through your body. Your eyes well up. A single tear threatens to fall. Then the hug breaks, and the moment is over.

Gemini: Asks first: “Do you need a hug?” Wraps arms around you, holds tight for a sec, then slaps your back in a brolike fashion and awkwardly breaks apart to avoid seeming too touchy-feely

Cancer: Gives and takes hugs in equal measure. Soft, gentle, and warm. Why hugs were invented

Leo: Casual hugs all the time, no biggie

Virgo: Getting a hug from them is like getting a hug from God; you can’t believe you made it to this moment, you must have done something right

Libra: hugs who they want to hug plus EVERYONE ELSE just to be fair so it doesn’t look like they’re showing favoritism or anything

Scorpio: *checks pockets*

Sagittarius: Short hugs, touch-and-go, like they’re about to catch a flight out of the country. Are they vacationing, or on the run? Will you ever see them again? No one knows

Capricorn: You have just sealed a pact of friendship forever, expect them a call from them at 8 pm on a Wednesday night 20 years from now to catch up like you just saw each other yesterday

Aquarius: “I’m not a hugger”

Pisces: Probably initiated the hug

NHL Bitty, Part II - Bitty v. Jack: Chirping

They live apart three-quarters of the year, their physical sex life is basically nonexistent, so Jack and Bitty have a lot of pent up energy and bring all of their problems to the ice because where else are they going to hash things out? It’s a good thing they don’t play each other often, because every Falconers v. Schooners game is a nightmare of awkward chirps, agressive hugging and sexual innuendo. It’s like the worst form of couples therapy imaginable. ESPN stops putting mics on them because they can’t edit enough out to make it appropriate.

___________

Bitty skates by, obviously furious at the call, but instead of turning on the linesman he hones in on Jack, snarling, “Seriously, a Ferrari? Trying to score some 80s side-action? I thought your whole thing was proving you aren’t your father.”

Bitty gets right up against him, pressing in tight but not moving to drop his gloves or grab at Jack’s jersey. They both know exactly what this is, and Jack pushes down the reflexive spike of want, grinning around his mouth guard.

“That’s rich coming from you – could you have purchased larger truck? Compensating for something, Itty Bitty?”

Bitty spits out his mouth guard. “After we kick your fucking ass, I’m going to take you home and remind you how ‘itty bitty’ I am.”

“Don’t threaten me with a good time–”

“Enough. Save foreplay for bedroom.” Tater groans, yanking Jack away from his husband. 

Jack yells, “Are we still fighting?”

“Yes!” Bitty shouts, skating backwards to his own bench. “I hate your new publicist and fuck you for approving that photo where it looks like I have two chins.”

“Fight or fuck. You do neither and ruin both.” Tater mutters over the roar of the crowd. “How you married I do not understand.”

“We only play each other a few times a year. If we get all the tough shit out when we play, we can leave it on the ice.”

From across the ice, Bitty mouths ‘love you’ and Jack blows a kiss in return. Tater gags loudly. 

“That is not what ‘leave it on the ice’ supposed to mean, Zimmboni.”

“Creampuff Heist”

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky wants to smuggle a dog out of the shelter but needs the help of someone who has experience carrying out a heist.

A/N: please remember it’s the owner who raises the dogs to be evil and aggressive, not the dog itself! - j. x

Bucky plops onto the cement in a heavy but swift manner. He wiggles his flesh fingers through the small holes of the chainlink gate, trying his best to get closer to the pitbull behind the gate.

When (Y/N) suggested he volunteer at the animal shelter as part of his therapy routine, Bucky grunted his reluctant approval. Truth be told, he initially didn’t have any interest in animal shelters and only agreed because he wanted to make (Y/N) smile.

But that all changed on his second day of volunteering, because for the second time in his life, Bucky Barnes fell in love.

Acting on instructions to check every water bowl, Bucky was making his way around the shelter when he made eye contact with a blue nose pitbull with scars running across her face. Both super-soldier and canine warily stared at each other, fatigue shining from both of their eyes, their posture a bit slouched.

The pitbull took the first step of courage, carefully padding to the chainlink gate barricading her from freedom. Her soulful eyes never breaking contact with his blue ones, the canine stuck out her muzzle to the best of her ability and licked his hand. And just like that, Bucky’s heart melted.

Her previous owners called her Scarface, but Bucky calls her Creampuff.

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Humans are weird

Ok, getting on the humans are weird bandwagon….

It surprises me that we haven’t talked about the most obvious thing: humans imagine things. Humans outright make shit up. (Like these posts?) Human stories often aren’t retellings of things that actually happened. Art often isn’t a depiction of true events. Humans - for want of a better word - humans sublimate. They transform their experiences into outlandish non-reality for each others’ amusement.

It takes forever for first contact to start because the aliens planning it keep getting confused by first radio, then television. Some of these depictions can’t be possible - but which ones? The first time War of the Worlds reaches the Kuiper belt, someone panics and has to double check that a more aggressive group hasn’t actually invaded.

After humans are finally integrated into galactic culture, some issues crop up.

“Did you clean the waste facility?” the Janitorial Supervisor asks.

“Well, I would have,” the human starts, then proceeds to tell an outrageous story about a cleaning bot with a knife strapped to its back which has the entire crew searching the ship for hours. The entire crew except for the humans.

The Captain finds the humans “searching” the self-poisoning cabinet in one of the crew quarters.

“Oh my god,” the First Officer says, on seeing the Captain’s dust-speckled upper ears. “Oh my god, I can’t believe you really fell for that. Stabby is a cryptid, Harold!”

The Captain’s name is not Harold, but that is another, even longer story.

The Captain exhales. “What is a cryptid?”

The assistant medical officer sits up straighter, his drink sloshing dangerously. The Captain has learned what “a gleam in his eye” means and how to detect it. They sit, resigned. There’s no escaping now.

An hour later, the Captain explains the concept of cryptids in considerably less detail to the embarrassed and confused Supervisor. Along with the concept of lying.

“But how do you know the difference?” the Supervisor asks, wringing their tentacles in mixed embarrassment and worry.

“Find another human,” the Captain advises. “Check for signs of mirth.”

This turns out to be prescient, because on their next planetary stop, two of the human field officers come running back into the base camp, out of breath and without the rest of their scouting team.

“Nasty buggers with teeth!” one gasps. Though the other officers appear skeptical, the Captain glances at the First Officer, who is already setting down her meal and grabbing her favorite flamethrower. The assistant medical officer yanks his kit straps over his shoulders, face grim.

“Arm yourselves,” the Captain tells the rest.

It takes about four hours, but they get everyone back more or less intact. The humans change the sign in the rec room on the ship to read: “Us: 6, Them: 0″. There is a ritual raising of liquor-filled glasses, even by the injured who are forbidden self-poisoning. The Captain begins temporary hibernation very relieved that humans are so willing to count other species as “us”.

When they ask the First Officer about it two cycles later, the First Officer looks confused, then knowing.

“My great grandmother remembers when you first showed up. They picked your people for first contact for a reason, didn’t they?”

“We look the most like you.”

“Yeah, well, that was a bad call. Gran says humans debated for months whether or not you were just other humans with good prosthetic makeup.”

The Captain blinks at this. “Most peoples are shocked and upset to learn the rest of the sentient universe does not share their appearance. Wait.” They pause. “Is that why we had so many applicants for the Janitorial position?”

The First Officer ignores that, as she usually does when the Captain doesn’t really want to know the answer.

“Do you know why cryptids exist? Why horror and violence and monsters exist in our stories?” she asks instead.

The Captain twitches both sets of ears ‘no’. “It seems unnecessary to frighten yourselves over things that don’t exist.”

“But nasty buggers with teeth do exist, even if we haven’t met them yet,” she says grimly. “And we were ready, weren’t we?”

It’s true. The humans on board have been terrifyingly adaptable, even in their violence.

The Captain feels their way carefully. “You think about things that don’t exist… sometimes even things that distress and terrify you… so that you can be ready when you face real things that distress and terrify you?”

“See, this is why you’re the Captain, Harold.” The First Officer slaps their shoulder hump cheerfully, careful to avoid the spines. “And better yet, we share the things we imagine with each other. It’s like a mental vaccine.”

“And it works?”

“Eh, sometimes. It’s not perfect. Sometimes we don’t mark our vaccines properly, or don’t realize we’re adding things we didn’t mean to. Some of them have a bad effect on some people, for various reasons. But we joined the galactic community in less than a generation. Has any other species ever done that?”

“You imagined us before you met us.”

“Now you’re getting it.”

instagram

You thought the jealous tongue thing was EVERYTHING??? LOOK AGAIN! Or … let me help you.

Jungkook held hands with the fan for too long so Jimin looks at him and do the jealous tongue thing then stares at the fan. JK will then look at jimin and call him “jimin ah” (the fan’s name is jimin too). They will smile at each other (jimin trying to look cool). The fan will come to jimin and he will tell her something like: “you really held hands for too long with Jungkook” (look closely he said jungkook). She will be embarrassed. He will then offer his hand and tell her “do you want to hold mine too?” She will offer her right hand Then he will pull off his hand like “NEVERMIND BEACH I don’t want to”. 

Can you see it now ??


If you want to be even more shook than Jungshook check out this Not Today analyses here (X) 

a concept...

- yuri and otabek have to keep their relationship a secret for a couple years bc idk they just do

- otabek visits yuri in russia for a week and stays with him, yuuri and victor

- when yuuri and victor go out to run errands, yuri and otabek finally get to have the sexy time™

- they take it slow since it has been so long, and every time they hear a creak in the house they freeze up bc they think its yuuri and victor coming home

- “yura, it was nothing” “i swear i heard those fuckers”

- when they finally finish, and otabek is hovering over yuri, yuri cupping otabeks face, the two panting heavily… they hear the front door click

- they start rushing around, throwing on whatever clothes they can find while trying to make as little noise as possible

- yuri grabs a bottle of deodorant and sprays it on himself, then throws it at otabek who does the same

- they think they sly by trying to cover up the smell of sex but they are just making it seem more suss

- yuri trying to comb his hair so he doesn’t look like he was just ravished

- “let me comb my hair too, yura” “beka, your hair is always messy, its fine”

- when victor and yuuri go to check on the two boys, they are awkwardly pretending to watch a movie on yuri’s laptop

- yuri and otabek think they got away with it, but yuuri and victor could tell something was up bc of the strong smell of deodorant, how awkward they were being and the fact that the two were wearing each others clothes

- pretty much yuri and otabek running around like lovestruck teenagers behind everyones backs bc they aRE LOVESTRUCK TEENAGERS

anonymous asked:

What unknown lowkey adrienette fics would you recommend? I kind of want to find and support unknown authors but everyone I know and read are popular af :/

dear anon, please thank @alyseb630​ for this rec list because she’s the one who told me lmao 

She’s the real mvp

Originally posted by dailyhappylife

incoming. a lot of freaking fics.

Amour Fou by Yilena

“A shy, socially awkward young teenager searches for friendship, and develops a misguided attraction for who he assumes to be his best friend’s crush. AU.”

Alyse says:  It’s from Adrien’s pov and he has Nino as an online friend. Nino sends him a picture of Alya and Marinette and Adrien gets a huge crush on her. Eventually moves back to Paris where nino lives and opens a cat cafe. And eventually hires Marinette. It’s super cute!

Allez Savoir Pourquoi by Yilena

(it’s a sister fic to the previous one)

“Marinette had seen her soulmate for years without knowing his identity, until they bumped into each other at a newly opened cat café. On a whim, she agrees to work for him. AU.”

Alyse says:  And it’s a soulmate au!!!! You see your soulmate in the reflection of your mirror in this au. It’s so good! And in this one you realize that Marinette’s been crushing on Adrien for years too. Just in a different way. She’s been seeing him in her mirror for years.

Can I Get Your Name? by anavoli

“Every day, Adrien Agreste comes into Starbucks and orders a tall, non-fat latte with caramel drizzle. And every day, Marinette makes it a personal challenge to give him a different nickname. Little does she know that this little bit of fun will reveal Adrien’s other identity - Chat Noir.

 (Miraculous Ladybug AU where everything’s the same but they don’t know each other from school and Marinette doesn’t have a crush on Adrien…yet.)”

Kissing in the Rain by childoflightningg

“Actors Marinette and Adrien keep finding themselves kissing in the rain, yet can’t seem to express their feelings offscreen. Actors AU”

All You Need Is Love and a Cat by heymacareyna

“In a world where shapeshifting is real and Ladybug and Chat Noir are nothing more than a kids’ animated show, Adrien and Marinette part ways after high school. Adrien develops the ability to shift into a domestic black cat, and when he’s stranded in the rain one morning, a familiar face rescues him. After spending the day with her as a cat, he decides to befriend her in his human form as well.”

Scrawl Mates by Aspiring_Life

“Adrien Agreste is caught off guard one day when he finds out he has a soul mate connected to him by the power of art. Anything written on his skin appears on theirs, and he wants desperately to find the girl that covers him in beautiful art.”

Frisky Business by 1nner_sakura

“Marinette and Adrien have been slowly but surely getting to know each other since their identities were revealed, falling into a comfortable - if occasionally confusing and frustrating - relationship dynamic. They’re closer than they’ve ever been (although maybe not close enough for either of their liking), but this? 

Well, this might be a LITTLE more than they bargained for. 

 [Also known as the One Where Miraculouses have Strange Side-Effects, Adrien and Marinette Really Need to DTR, and Marinette Refuses to Be Kinkshamed.]“ 

Check Plus One by volti

“Marinette is finally going to do it. She’s finally going to ask Adrien on a date. Of course, this poses a bit of a problem when he asks her first.”

Sad Hats and Black Cats by littleangels

“And you’re absolutely sure that you’re fine…?” 

 Adrien nodded. “I’m pawsitive.” 

 Marinette still looked unconvinced. “Your heart’s not in the pun.” 

 “Is that really a legitimate reason to say I’m feeling down?” 

 “Well, there’s that and your sad hat.” 

 “I’m not… I’m not sad, Marinette. Will you please stop being so stubborn about it? I’m fine.” 

 “Look,” she began, “I know we aren’t as close as we used to be, but I’m your friend, Adrien. I’m one of your best friends. You can tell me if something happened. You know that, right?” She placed her hand on top of his. “I’m here for you. 

A Test of Courage by Zaphirite

Marinette still couldn’t believe that the carnival set up a huge attraction based on them. “Ladybug and Chat Noir: The 5D Experience!” flashed above their heads in bright red neon letters. Luckily, having a best friend who is also Ladybug’s #1 fan gives her the chance to secretly check it out. Unluckily, said best friend was plotting against her.

A Test of Strength by Zaphirite

Being a superhero isn’t all completely in the mask and magic. When her classmates see her muscled arms a challenge ensues, and Marinette is confident that she could take any of them on in an arm wrestling match. She’s swung from buildings and defeated countless akuma, surely she could beat a civilian. …right?

Paws Fur Coffee by Zaphirite

“He was so sure that Ladybug would already push him off a rooftop if she knew his civilian identity worked at a café called “Paws Fur Coffee” of all names (the owner is a dog person, but he’ll take it), but his flub on the chalkboard menu just topped it all off. 

 His neat handwriting read back to him: “Chai Noir”. 

 (In which Adrien Agreste has some really cool ideas about the special drink of the week and gets to know a regular customer.)”

Fireworks and Pizzazz by peonydee

“When Marinette’s interview is published at a local magazine, people’s reaction, she thought, are a bit excessive”

secret love song by pallasjoanna

One would expect a best friend of Nino’s to have more eclectic music tastes but Adrien has always been singular in his. He revels in cheesy pop songs and belts out anime openings in the shower (with perfect lyrics; she’s tried checking once), and he likes dancing to both when he’s alone or with close friends or with Marinette. The song starts off low and soft, and she playfully bats at his hair as he croons into her ear about being held in the street and being kissed on the dance floor.

 – 

 A rainy day, all too catchy songs, and attempted waltzing around the living room.

Duets by AlexMac

“So we’ve never met but our showers are on opposite sides of the same apartment wall so sometimes we’re showering at the same time and we sing duets” AU 

 Alcohol mention warning”

paint and puns by psychopathicdorito

“Teamwork is something Marinette and Adrien are definitely good at, no questions asked. (Day #8 of Adrinette April. The topic for the day: acting like their alter egos).”

` ° * ✧ ° RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS PT 2.

❛ I wish that I could tell you. ❜
❛ You should have stayed. ❜
❛ Please don’t come looking for me. ❜
❛ Just get out of here. ❜
❛ I don’t know, I just don’t know. ❜
❛ Why did you come? ❜
❛ Do you think this is a game? ❜
❛ Can’t break something that was already broke. ❜
❛ Don’t fix something that isn’t broke. ❜
❛ Why can’t you just butt out?
❛ I don’t need your help. ❜
❛ I’m not here for you. ❜
❛ You’re never here for me when I need you. ❜
❛ Is that smell you? ❜
❛ Can you please just stop already. ❜
❛ I’m leaving you. ❜
❛ I just didn’t want you to come around. ❜
❛ Are you sure you’re okay alone? ❜
❛ No, no, no, no —- I just checked it last night. ❜
❛ Don’t worry, you’ll learn how to do it someday. ❜
❛ I think we are going to like each other a lot. ❜
❛ I just wanted to come and let you know. ❜
❛ So, what are you going to do, now that you know? ❜
❛ You have got to be fucking kidding me right now. ❜
❛ Do me a favor and shut up already. ❜
❛ Scratch the serial number off of it. ❜
❛ I’m not wearing a mask. ❜
❛ You act like it’s all my fault sometimes. ❜
❛ I’m here for your pity party. ❜
❛ You are in a lot of trouble, you know that right? ❜
❛ You aren’t allowed in here. ❜
❛ Who invited you? ❜
❛ You aren’t wanted around here anymore. Sorry. ❜
❛ I can’t keep covering for you. What’s going on? ❜
❛ Just tell me what’s wrong! Talk to me! ❜
❛ There’s so many things I would’ve done differently. ❜
❛ Stop crying about it and do something about it. ❜
❛ Stop looking for the things worth dying over and find the things worth living for. ❜
❛ So, prove them wrong. Thats the best way to do it. ❜
❛ Don’t need anyone who doesn’t need me. ❜
❛ Yeah, well, we all have our sob story so just save it. ❜
❛ Don’t cry over me or for me, I’m not worth it. ❜
❛ It isn’t cheating if you aren’t actually dating. ❜
❛ You know what? That’s a good idea. ❜
❛ You need to find someome better already. ❜
❛ I’m not listening to your bullshit right now. ❜
❛ Is that a freaking condom? ❜
❛ It smells like sour milk in here for crying out loud. ❜
❛ Am I really standing here witnessing this right now? ❜
❛ I’m not a bad influence if it’s always your ideas. ❜
❛ I never forced you to do anything. ❜
❛ Are you really walking out on me? ❜
❛ Come near me again and I’ll blow your head off. ❜
❛ Treat me like the princess that I am. ❜
❛ Just remember a lot of guys want what I’m letting you do right now. ❜
❛ How can you possibly be in love with two people at the same time? ❜
❛ Let’s just get out of here. ❜
❛ Shhh, I’m going to key his/her car. ❜
❛ There’s no one even here. ❜
❛ I’m just saying, it sounds like a bad idea. ❜
❛ Is that blood on your shirt? ❜
❛ Oh my God, are you bleeding?! ❜
❛ Jesus, don’t you ever get tired of doing that. ❜
❛ You know they throw people in Asylum’s for doing that. ❜
❛ You’re just looking for trouble, like always. ❜
❛ Enough is never enough for you. ❜
❛ I could never get tired of this. ❜
❛ You’re so jumpy lately. ❜
❛ I mean I feel bad but whatever. ❜
❛ I have a reputation to maintain unlike you. ❜
❛ Why are you staring at me? ❜
❛ Stop feeding into his/her bullshit! Wake up! ❜
❛ Are you on drugs or something? ❜
❛ You have lost your fucking mind, once and for all. ❜
❛ Yes, you summoned me. ❜
❛ I’m not here to help you. I’m here to watch you struggle. ❜
❛ Hey, cut it out already! I can hear the stupid TV. ❜
❛ Are you seriously asking me this right now? ❜
❛ Have you ever tried to count the stars? ❜
❛ I should kill you right now! ❜
❛ Don’t you dare walk away from me! ❜
❛ I know where you live! Don’t forget! ❜
❛ I just wanted to have a good time but no, you couldn’t let me, could you? ❜
❛ This friendship has officially sunk, hope you’re happy. ❜
❛ Are you satisfied now? You should be. This is what you wanted. ❜
❛ I don’t get everything that I want unlike you. ❜
❛ Must be nice to be that miserable all the time. ❜
❛ Happiness is the most temporary thing in life. ❜
❛ Everything happens for a reason, right? ❜
❛ You can call me at any hour. Always. ❜
❛ There’s nothing that I can’t do. ❜
❛ You’re like a forty year old, like an old soul or something. ❜
❛ Say it or I’ll cut your finger off. ❜
❛ I will stab you right in the eye if you look at me one more time. ❜
❛ Go ahead and look but don’t touch, unless you want a broken limb. ❜
❛ I’m actually a serial killer. I’m not joking. ❜
❛ You have such a morbid sense of humor. ❜
❛ This is our time, come on, let’s have our time. ❜
❛ Hey, want a hand with that? ❜
❛ I almost forgot what that felt like. ❜
❛ I just want to feel something. I don’t know what though. ❜
❛ I need your help with something. ❜
❛ I’m pissed off right now. ❜
❛ Don’t go breaking my heart. ❜
❛ Why do you build me and watch me fall? Is that fun for you? ❜
❛ Well, I’m used to it by now, so take your best shot. ❜
❛ I hate crying. It makes me mad. ❜
❛ I really don’t want to be seen with you right now. ❜
❛ Please, just don’t forget. Whatever you do. Don’t forget. ❜
❛ You can’t catch me though. ❜
❛ I know I said fucked up things and I’m sorry. ❜
❛ Look, I’m an asshole. I don’t mean be to be. ❜
❛ I’ll try not to be an asshole anymore. ❜
❛ Any pocket knives or anything? ❜
❛ Where’d you go? ❜
❛ I’m going to turn myself in. ❜
❛ Did you finish your cigarette yet? ❜
❛ You can turn around and face the other way. ❜
❛ It wasn’t worth it, was it? ❜
❛ I have no idea what you said. ❜
❛ Right now, you’re acting very weird. ❜
❛ I don’t even know what that statement means. ❜