they are kissing

S.M.A.R.T Goals for low willpower

Re: the ask about having trouble following through on goals - the best trick I’ve learned for that is the SMART goals method:

Specific - pick an actual action, not just a concept.
Measurable - make sure it’s something you can track: x times per week, not just ‘more’.
Attainable - make sure it’s something you know you have the time and energy to do - don’t set your bar too high or you’ll discourage yourself.
Relevant - make sure it’s clearly related to the end result you’re trying to achieve.
Timely - pick a time frame, like ‘until the end of this month’ or ‘until the end of the semester’, so there’s a clear point to aim for.

A goal like “Get fit”, like in that ask, is much too big. What does that even mean? How do you do that? That sounds hard. It’s too overwhelming for someone with executive function problems to actually implement that in a meaningful way. Instead, you break it down. My SMART goal looked like this:

DESIRED RESULT: Get Fit
SMART GOAL: Work out at least 3x/week for the next month - once per muscle group

Lo and behold, that was about a million times easier than a generic “I should work out more” that I’ll immediately forget about it. You know exactly what you need to do, and you know you “only” need to do it until the end of the month - not some vague future horizon that your brain can’t properly conceive of; ADHD is too nearsighted for that, so you have to focus a little closer. "Just one more week and I’ll have done it! I can do one more week, I can’t give up now!“

I wrote out a little checklist for each week of the month, with 1 check every time I worked out; and bam, I actually managed to do it - and 4-5 months later am still doing it, which is longer than I’ve ever managed to keep up a workout routine in my entire 25 years of life. Once you’ve achieved that 1st month’s goal, you can also step it up with additional goals, like “This month, I’ll work out 3x a week AND make a healthy lunch at least 2x a week instead of eating at the food court”. I now lay out a series of SMART goals at the beginning of every month so I always have something to shoot for.

Obviously everyone’s mileage will vary and each person needs to figure out what will be 'attainable’ for them - maybe your first goal will be working out once a week, or walking home from work instead of driving or taking the bus - but I’ve found this structure really helpful for getting myself to follow through, and it’s made my life a lot easier!


This is a fantastic method to systematically do what I suggested in that post. Thank you!

-J

「君が無事で帰った時 」 <‘‘When you get home safely’‘ 

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 i tried being wholesome for once