they are going to be the best dads

One More Confession

I promised @numinoceur soft kisses BECAUSE BAE IS TOO GOOD TO ME and keeps drawing me the happiest, softest Promptis. This wasn’t what I set out to write, initially, but the idea stuck and here we go. I… actually probably like this enough to post on AO3. (also: everyone lives canon divergence is always nice)

<3

Noctis knows, as the damn crown prince of Lucis, he has to be careful.

His dad does his best to keep him shielded from the public eye. Most of the newspapers are under the influence of the crown, to keep them from reporting on him. The seedier tabloids are afraid of the wrath of King Regis—or, rather, they appreciate the money that’s tossed their way. A little bribery pays off, and as such, Noct’s happy enough to live a relatively low-key life, for a prince.

Of course, as much as he tries to keep the image up, he’s got a best friend who sorely tests Noct’s self-control. It’d been okay, at first, when their transgressions had involved skipping class occasionally, or spending way too much money at the arcade. But then Noctis had realized just how much he liked looking at his best friend. Weird dreams had followed, and they’d caught each other staring, had exchanged flustered, flushed looks, and then one day Prompto had gotten brave—

Now, instead of cutting class, they’re spending stolen moments in the back of the schoolyard during lunch breaks, sharing bites of the lunches Ignis packs them, stealing kisses when nobody’s looking. And nobody ever is looking. Noct’s pretty sure there’s rumours about them, but as long as they’re simply that, rumours, he can live with it.

It’s not Noct’s fault, really. Prompto’s just so kissable. They’ve kept this secret for a while now. It has to be a secret. Noct’s the crown prince, and even though the whole political marriage thing is only necessary in times of war – and Lucis and the Empire have been at peace for some time now, miraculously – Noctis hasn’t even started to think about how to tell his dad, hey, I’m kissing a boy.

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Hey Yo!!! So Kori’s identity is public, oui? And Dick’s is secret, cause uno, it’s easier for him to hide. BUT THEN when they date like how does it work? So let’s say the media snaps a few photos of Dick with his new red-head girlfriend and oh my GAWD its none other than the model/superhero Starfire?? WHATTT??? So like the media is going wild but then comes those little conspirator fucks talking ‘bout does that make Dick a superhero? And if so which one? So of course Dick jokes about it in an interview and aks the ever so famous question: “Do the butts match though Cathy?” And proceed to twerk to draw attention from the topic.

BUTT EVEN MORE THEN they have Mar’i cause uno KIDS. So to keep Dick’s identity secret Kori claims to not know who the father is. And so, of course, Dick is still gonna be the best Dad ever so he says fuck the media and still takes the role of Dadda to his angel eyed daughter. And when the media asks hes like: “She’s not my kid *cue a little part of him crying at having to say that* but I’m gonna treat her as my own-” then goes into a big speech about how him and Kori broke up forever ago so he just takes care of her sometimes.

BUTTTTTT that means for a little while before Mar’i was a smartie and able to understand all this complicated bullshit she DIDN’T KNOW WHO HER DADDA REALLY WAS CAUSE SHE WAS ALWAYS TOLD THAT IT WASN’T DICK. AGAIN CUE DICK’S HEARTBREAKING IN TWO.

Okay thank you for your time :)

anonymous asked:

Does Charles care about Karkat at all?

Absolutely! Karkat is his son’s best friend/super crush, and while I’m not a parent, I’m pretty sure that automatically gives Karkat an in. At least from a weird sort of spectator’s position where Charles knows he’s watching either something beautiful or else a trainwreck waiting to happen. That, and he genuinely likes Karkat. He knows he gives off a stern aura, and everything we’ve seen with his interactions with John have thus far been pretty serious, but the man is still an Egbert at heart. He is no stranger to japery, so it amuses him greatly to see Karkat consciously having to remind himself to be on his best behavior and to bite his tongue so as to not go into rants when around him, which is totally a thing he can tell is happening. That just makes Karkat a more appealing target for him, in the same way that a similar dad might greet their child’s prom date at the door while casually holding a shotgun. So lots of points in Karkat’s favor in that regard. Were Karkat to get over his hesitancy/awkwardness in dealing with an older human parental figure and engage with the man on a more regular basis, I’m sure they could find some common ground and make something work. Which is not to suggest that they don’t have a good relationship now. Things are just a little…stiff between them.

I also think Charles feels like the interplay between John and Karkat is quite cute, as it’s so blatantly obvious from an outside observer’s perspective that John has fallen hard for Karkat, and John’s failure to recognize how obvious he sometimes is about it is only matched by Karkat’s obliviousness to those same actions. 

Like Father, Like Daughter | Kai

Originally posted by intokai

Daddy daughter dance time is the best thing to watch. Jongin plans to make your daughter the best at dancing just like him even if that means never letting her go.

Word Count: 926

[Masterlist]


It’s Saturday morning, I’m in the bathroom thinking this through all over again. I’ve been in this situation before so why am I getting so nervous? I hear the giggles of my daughter, Hee Young, and husband, Jongin, in the living room watching TV. I shake off the nerves and brace myself to tell Jongin the news when I get the chance. How did I manage to do this the first time around?

After finishing up my business, I join my family in the living room. Jongin is dancing with Hee Young. Ever since she learned how to walk, Hee Young has been clumsy so Jongin has been teaching her to dance to gain some balance. We’ve been thinking about putting her in ballet or gymnastics to help. Jongin felt that she was too young to join so he volunteered to teach her but I’m pretty sure he just wanted to make sure she stayed close.

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characters i would consider calling da/d/dy

felix (…over my dead body)

sharkface (?idk, probably would try it once. it could be hot. or just really dorky.)

locus (unironically. he’d probably go the full mile and put me in an ugly sweater and feed me well)

sarge (as a joke at first. it escalates into him wearing best dad ever tshirts, and he celebrates my bday as a running joke. innuendoes abound, but it’s too hilarious to take seriously.)

characters i’d like to call me d/ad/dy

agent wash (………he would never, but i mean…….)

keep mom in your thoughts, she’s been wearing herself out and getting sick more often these past couple months. she’s working two jobs now and it seems to be taking its toll. i’m doing my best to help take care of her when she gets like this, but she’s been putting on so much pressure on herself since dad died. god i hope the holidays go well.

eddskaspbrak  asked:

58, 67, 81?

58. What are five ways to win your heart?
Talk to me about my favorite things, make me laugh, compliment me, dad jokes, and deal with my bullshit

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?
Probably going to see a drive-in movie with homemade food and non-stop jokes throughout the movie (unless its a movie i like then you best stfu when parts get serious) that or going to a pet store or something to play with puppies and kittens.

81. Who are five people you find attractive?
I’m very glad you asked. 


vaguely nsfw asks

forestwater87 replied to your post: Is Gwen going to be Mike and have the running gag…

To be fair, Gwen being overshadowed and underappreciated would make a distressing amount of sense …

It would, which is why it ain’t happening in my fucking universe. She’s getting the appreciation she deserves by being the best and scariest monster, but still having a heart of gold and loyalty to her friend and his weird human son.

The Turkey Story

 So it’s 2001, and my family drives from fucking California and like three blizzards to get to Ohio for thanksgiving, becuase my grandparents are moving into a nursing home and it’s their last holiday in that house.  So its a bit bittersweet but ultimately a good thing.

Since it’s their last holiday there, the family pulls out all the stops when it comes to dinner, all the Russian desserts come out, as does the Lethal Bacon Mashed Potatoes and the horrible candied yams dish because not all expressions of love are good, even if they are sincere.  In the spirit of going all-out, Uncle Bobby smokes a Turkey.  

Uncle Bobby started cooking as a boy scout by tossing foil-wrapped potatoes into a campfire and has been addicted since, and now has a hand-made smokehouse in the backyard where he makes various cured meats and other delights.  He seasons the turkey in the traditional manner, but he and grandpa have a shared passion for a spaicier mesquite-style bird, so Bobby makes a Cornish Game Hen seasoned that way, for them.

Then Bobby has a Brilliant Idea.  He realizes that he can stuff the turkey (once it has been smoked) with regular stuffing, and there is still plenty of room for him to put the game hen inside THAT, and stuff the game hen becuase why not?  He confers with Mom, and she explains how to cut open the turkey so there’s  dramatic reveal as the stuffing and game hen come out.  It’s Genius.

Except, of course, that my Aunt Sue is attending, Uncle Cliff slouching after her.

So the day of the dinner, tensions are running a bit high, between the marathon cooking, the kids all being trapped indoors due to aforementioned blizzards, and Uncle Cliff deciding that the best way to amuse himself is by hiding from the adults in the basement, getting drunk and rambling about how various ethic groups were destroying America.  Being that I had close Muslim friends that were leaving the country becuase of 9/11, I was near tears from this nonsense and ready to fight a man roughly five times my size.  

Sue, for some reason, keeps coming down and defending him, or telling us we’re rotten children for ‘attacking’ him, becuase she Must Stand By Her Man, even if her man is a hefty bag of feces with an ugly mustache.

My sister eventually bolts upstairs to tattle and my grandfather limps down to the basement and brandishes his Hip-Bone Cane, hands rock-steady in spite of the Parkinson’s slowly taking over him.

“Firstly Cliff, It may not be my roof much longer but while you are under it you will be civil, or I’ll beat your skull in.  Also, dinner’s ready, everyone go wash up.”

We go upstairs and sit down, and do the traditional “Name one thing you’re thankful for” as the bread gets passed around the table, and things calm down a bit.  Bobby brings out the Turkey and everyone goes OOH becuase it’s really pretty, them Mom carves it open so that the stuffing spills out dramatically along with the game hen and there’s an appreciative gasp all around becuase it looks cool.

Only Sue KEEPS gasping, in utter horror, before getting up and clasping her hands to her face ala Edvard Munch and shrieks-

“OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT!”

We all stare at Sue.  We all look back at the fully-dressed-cooked-and-stuffed birds that in no way had any internal organs in them or ever gave live birth. Then we all looked back at Sue, trying to figure out where to begin but since she’d been trying to justify Cliff’s behavior she was pretty much free-associating conspiracies and scandals now, and just kept going.

“IT WAS PREGNANT MY GOD WE’VE COMMITTED AN ABORTION WE’RE ALL GOING TO HELL FOR THIS, I’M SO SORRY JESUS-” She goes into full pearl-clutching gibbering horror at this point and falls back into her chair like it’s a Victorian fainting couch only it’s a shitty chair from the Eisenhower administration so it collapses and she slams into the floor, sobbing and kicking her feet like a toddler.

Everyone watched for a moment before my Mom sighs heavily and starts carving and serving the turkey while my grandmother mouths “she’s not coming back”.   

Cliff, reactions delayed by about six beers, finally notices his wife is on the floor and tries to pick her up, falls on his ass himself.  They are assisted by Dad, who is saintly patient man and less immune to this jacknapery at that point. I am stuffing dinner rolls into my face to keep from laughing at this grand spectacle and it’s not working.

“I CAN’T EAT IT, I REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN THIS BARBARISM-”  Sue begins but Dad puts on his best Kindly Father voice (he went to seminary school long enough to learn that before getting drafted but that’s another story) and assures Sue that she need not eat, or even be in the room if she wants.  She nods, placated by being the center of attention again, and Dad goes in for the kill.

“I wouldn’t want you to go hungry.  Can I make you some Eggs?”

“That would be lovely.” Said Sue, joke flying over her head like a boeing 747.  I recall watching my grandmother nearly choke to death on the green beans over that, and everyone pointedly trying to avoid talking about anything poultry-related while Sue sat there and ate the most ironic scrambled eggs in the history of mankind.

Shortly thereafter, Cliff threw up in the sink and they went home, and the party got underway properly, with Grandpa raising a toast to Mom and Uncle Bobby “For marrying well, for a change”

“Pregnant Turkey” has been an Ohioan thanksgiving staple since then.  I’ll see if I can hit Uncle Bobby up for instructions but if you decide to make it 1. you HAVE to shriek “OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT” when you carve it open, or it’s not authentic and won’t taste as good 2. Share the pictures with me.


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5

ask and I shall answer — this is Yuuei’s unicorn daughter now ♫

so keith is probably going to be with the blades during his bday and not w voltron… but instead of thinking about that think about kolivan researching human birthdays and throwing keith the most uncomfortable best party ever

Canceled Date (Steve Harrington x Female Reader)

Summary: After you had to cancel your date with Steve because you have to babysit your sister, Steve invites himself over and manages to show you a completely different side to him.

Word Count: 2512

Warnings: none, maybe just OOC Steve

Note: First time writing for Steve but ay whatever. I hope you all enjoy! Feel free to tell me what ya think! :)

Originally posted by ilovenarcisse

It wasn’t every night your parents would leave you to take care of your 8 month old sister, but after your father got a promotion at his job, they wanted to celebrate. You really didn’t want to ruin their celebration, so you offered to take care of little Anna for as long as they needed you to.

The only bad part was that you had to cancel your date with your boyfriend. You were dating Steve Harrington, the “King” of the school. He had told he really didn’t care about that title, and it was a bit stupid. You have been dating for at least 3 months, and your parents absolutely adored him, and you like to think his parents adore you too.

Anyway, Steve had been a bit upset when you told him you had to cancel. You were both going to watch a movie at his house since you worked at the theater and didn’t want to be there any longer than you needed to.

“Come on (y/n), we’ve been planning this for a week,” Steve said over the phone, you sighed.

“I know, I know- maybe tomorrow I can come over,” you said, feeling bad. Steve was silent for a moment.

“I’ll let it slide this time, but you have to promise me that we’ll spend the whole day together.” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“The whole day?” you asked, you can see him nodding.

“Yup! To make up for all the other times you had to cancel!” You scoffed.

“I only canceled once before this!” you claimed, he hummed.

“All day tomorrow so clear your schedule, babe,” You were silent for a moment, before a smile grew on your lips.

“I’ll get to that…I’m really sorry, Steve,” you apologized again.

“It’s alright (y/n), what are you doing anyway, I didn’t even ask,”

“I have to watch Anna, my parents are going out to celebrate or something,” you shrugged, moving on your stomach, holding your phone against your ear.

“You have to babysit?” he asked, his voice changing suddenly, like he was excited. You nodded as if he could see you.

“Yeah- I’m not canceling on you for no reason,” you laughed, Steve laughed as well. Your heart sped up because you really loved hearing his laugh.

“You know what- our date is not being canceled, tell your parents I’ll be there in 10 minutes,” Your smile fell, and you tilted your head.

“What?”

“You heard me! I’ll be there in ten minutes,” You could just hear him get up, and grab his car keys. You sat up.

“Steve! My parents aren’t going to like it if my boyfriend comes over while they’re gone- they might think-”

“Come on- we’re going to babysit, that’s all! I’ll see you in ten minutes! Love you!” Your jaw dropped. Was he seriously going to come over?

“(y/n)?” his voice broke you out of your thoughts and you shook off.

“I love you too, but if my parents turn you away at the door- don’t blame me!” He laughed, and you did too, before the line went dead.

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okay but literally everytime i went to go look for my dad in Rhode Island, he waS ALWAYS TALKING to scott and he said that scott told him so many secrets????? whY are they literally best friends now???????

The evolution of “dress”

  • When you think happiness I hope you think that little black dress
  • I don’t know why but with you I’d dance in a storm in my best dress, fearless
  • I talked to your dad - go pick out a white dress
  • After everything and that little black dress
  • The girl in the dress cried the whole way home/wrote you a song
  • No amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity
  • Spinning like a girl in a brand new dress
  • And it was like slow motion, standing there in my party dress
  • Say you’ll remember me, standing in a nice dress staring at the sunset, babe
  • You’re still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can’t wear anymore

Only bought this dress so you could take it off

@taylorswift you’ve grown up

mike and richie as twins

(sorry for how long this is! i got a little carried away)

-they have the same parents, but richie takes their dad’s name and mike takes their mother’s

-this is because when they were kids they came up with this idea no one would guess they were related if they had different last names

-nancy laughed at them both and told them how ridiculous that was, but it stuck

-they shared a room up until they were seven and got in an argument and richie ended up throwing soda at mike and ruining the duvet of his bed (they had already destroyed a lot of stuff before then.  This was the final straw for Mrs. Wheeler)

-mike finds it obnoxious how messy richie is

-their bathroom is half warzone, half last ditch attempts by mike to keep it clean

-they end up having their own “sides” of the counter but richie’s stuff always ends up on mike’s side

-once richie used mike’s toothbrush so mike dunked richie’s toothbrush in the toilet and didn’t tell him

-dustin and lucas sometimes laugh at richie’s jokes and mike hisses “don’t encourage him”

-richie has a habit of flirting with everyone

-this includes will.

-sometimes he makes a dirty joke and winks at will and will blushes

-mike gets annoyed by it, but always tells himself it’s just because he doesn’t want his gross brother hitting on any of his friends

-they have fights over who’s going to have the sleepover this weekend.  

-the losers always make sure to include mike though

-just like the party includes richie (if he’s home, a lot of the time he sneaks over to eddies)

-mike never tells their parents that richie’s snuck out, no matter how mad he is, because he knows how horrible eddie’s mom is

-when he was younger, mike had a crush on bill, something he will NEVER admit

-he also had a crush on bev, who was so nice to him and used to offer him the last cookie/soda/bit of chips

-the party is kind of in awe of how cool bev is, and they always try to invite her to join their party

-richie is like “MY FRIENDS NOT URS” and bev finds it really funny

-even though richie and mike get on each other’s nerves, they band together really fast when one of them is picked on.

-richie constantly comes home with black eyes and a bloody nose/lip because people pick on mike and his friends

-mike and eddie help clean him up, both telling him to “sit still idiot”

-when they’re sixteen one time richie comes out of the shower with just sweatpants “hey mike, have you seen my scorpions shirt?”

-will goes bright look and glances down super quickly

-mike notices this and gets kinda angry? Not at will just the general situation

-but richie has been in love with eddie since he was like ten, and they’ve been dating since 8th grade so he only has eyes for his eds

-he notices how bothered mike is by this and just kinda laughs to himself bc he knows they’ll have to sort it out for themselves

-nancy, richie, and mike are a fucking power trio

-nancy takes them out to the city every month or so, less when she heads out to college

-they always visits mike’s “nerd stops” like museums and various comic book stores.

-they also hit up record shops (for richie) and occasionally nancy sneaks them into a grunge show “ONLY IF THEY PROMISE TO BE GOOD AND STAY IN HER SIGHT”

-both of them dread when nancy drags them to a clothing store, whining the whole way, but they have fun messing around with different outfits while nancy shops

-they talk about boys (and girls, the wheelers/toziers are bi icons) over food and whenever someone mentions will, mike gets all blushy.  Nancy and Richie share knowing looks

-nancy is definitely the cool, protective sister.  If she hears anyone in the higher classes making fun of richie and eddie she’s fucking ON THAT, turns out richie learned it all from her

-richie and mike definitely bond over how sucky their dad is. Insulting him when he isn’t around, teaming up to argue with him when he’s being ridiculous

-they know secrets about each other too, one’s they’d never tell anyone else

-mike knows that richie has nightmares about a family that hurts and ignores him, and it’s his biggest fear to end up alone like he is in his dreams

-richie knows that mike fears no one will need him anymore, and that he’s always struggling to have his voice heard

-richie gets real tired of mike and will sharing looks and then looking away blushing, and skirting around each other.  He “accidentally” locks them in a closet, and comes back thirty minutes later.

-they’re kissing

-they basically rip apart when richie opens the door

-”FINALLY YOU FUCKING LOVEBIRDS”

-will is bright red and mike is all stuttery “SHUT UP RICHIE”

-richie in a rare moment tells mike how happy he is for him (after will goes home)

-mike is all smiley and happy

-”he still thinks i’m hotter”

-”BEEP BEEP RICHIE” and a pillow is thrown at him

-richie and mike end up going to different colleges

-both of them joke how happy they are to escape the other, but in truth it’s kind of sad

-the second night of being alone, without mike close by, richie calls mike at like 1 am

-mike picks up immediately

-”did you have a nightmare?”

-richie doesn’t want to admit that he misses him “it’s fucking weird not to hear your annoying voice yammering away”

-mike realizes what’s going on “real quiet now that your shitty music isn’t blasting”

-both of them just chat about how life is going, until they start to fall asleep

-richie is best man at mike’s wedding, and mike is best man at richie’s

-mike gets strippers for richie for his bachelors party

-richie sets up a fucking LARP session

-and richie’s speech makes mike cry (it ends with “i love you, you fucking nerd”)

-when mike and will adopt a daughter,  richie and eddie come over to visit and play with the kid a lot

-mike and richie like to pretend to be each other

-the kid is never fooled, she knows who her dad is

Me at the start of Stranger Things Season 1:

this stupid small town cop is shit at his job. he doesn’t even care about my baby boy will.

Me at the end of Stranger Things 2:

Hopper is my dad. Eleven is your daughter right. Let her kiss Mike next time BUT omg I can’t believe you took her under your wing?!?! AND YOU LET HER GO TO THE SNOWBALL OMGOMG BEST FATHER FIGURE #JOPPER

TERRIBLE CHRISTIAN PUNS: SENTENCE STARTERS

❝ What is a dentist’s favorite hymn? Crown Him with Many Crowns.

❝ Who’s the arch-enemy of the Gsus chord? The Dmin chord.

❝ What’s a salesman’s favorite Scripture passage? The Great Commission.

❝ Where was Solomon’s temple located? On the side of his head.

❝ How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.

❝ Who was the smartest man in the Bible? Abraham. He knew a Lot.

❝ What kind of man was Boaz before he married? Ruthless. ❞

❝ Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

❝ Why did the hawk sit on the church’s steeple? It was a bird of pray. ❞ 

❝ Which servant of God was the worst lawbreaker in the Bible? Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

❝ Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson. He brought the house down.

❝ What car make did the Apostles drive? Honda… because the apostles were all in one Accord.

❝ Who’s the patron saint of poverty? St. Nickeless.

❝ Why did some cardinals get their feathers ruffled? The Pope gave away the church’s nest egg to the poor.

❝ What’s a missionary’s favorite kind of car? A convertible.

❝ What’s the best way to settle church disputes? With canons.

❝ How long did Cain hate his brother? As long as he was Abel.

❝ At what time of day was Adam created? A little before Eve.

❝ Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark? They were using fowl language.

❝ What’s the difference between Jesus and pizza? Jesus can’t be topped.

❝ What man in the Bible had no parents? Joshua, son of None.  ❞

❝ Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go? He was in ‘de Nile. ❞ 

❝ Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah? He didn’t want to split hairs.

❝ Why did Moses cross the Red Sea? To get to the other side.

❝ If Moses were alive today, why would he be considered a remarkable man? Because he would be several thousand years old.

❝ Need an ark? I noah guy.