they are completely different it invalidates both

"Harry went through everything Snape went through and turned out fine!"

First of all, Harry did not go through exactly what Snape went through. There were many resources Harry had to help him recover from his abuse that Snape never had access to. Second of all, abuse does not affect every single victim the same way. Everyone is different. Regardless, I’m still going to go through all the advantages Harry had over Snape so that people stop pitting two very different abuse survivors against each other.

1. Snape grew up in abject poverty. Harry inherited a huge fortune from his parents and the Dursleys were fairly wealthy as well, even if they spent very little of their wealth on Harry. However, Harry had enough of his basic needs provided for him to keep him alive and healthy. Snape was most likely ill and underfed throughout much of his childhood.

2. Harry had a very supportive group of friends, one of whom was able to give Harry an escape from his abusive relatives. Snape had one true friend throughout his childhood who was unable to do much about his home situation. Harry’s friends were also there to defend him from bullies like Draco Malfoy. We only see Lily intervene to help Snape when he gets bullied by the Marauders once and we know what happens after that.

3. Harry’s teachers were very supportive of him and were always looking out for him. Snape’s teachers refused to do anything about the Marauders because of how much they liked them.

4. What went on between Draco and Harry at school was a rivalry. Both parties were always equally matched; it was either Harry vs. Draco, Harry and his two best friends vs. Draco and his two best friends, or the Gryffindors vs. the Slytherins. What went on between the Marauders and Snape was relentless bullying (four on one is bullying, a rivalry requires both sides to be equally matched) that got as bad as sexual assault and attempted murder. As stated previously, Snape had very little help to defend him from his bullies.

5. Harry was generally surrounded by Voldemort’s opponents and had his life threatened by Voldemort and his supporters on multiple occasions. Snape was generally surrounded by Voldemort’s supporters and constantly bullied by four of Voldemort’s opponents. Voldemort’s supporters were also the only people who offered Snape a proper escape from the neglect and abuse he had suffered his whole life. Therefore it makes sense which sides these two people chose to fight on.

Regardless of the different circumstances Snape and Harry grew up in, both of their experiences with abuse are completely valid. The sad truth is that without a support system, very few abuse victims turn out like Harry. Many turn out like Snape or Credence unless they are given access to the resources necessary for them to heal. However, even if two abuse victims with the exact same circumstances turn out differently, that does not invalidate either victim’s experience with abuse. The fact remains that we are all different humans and that trauma can affect all of us differently.

On the subject of Jellal’s arc

I’ve seen some Jellal commentary lately that’s kinda raised my eyebrows. There’s several points I want to make here and to avoid a tangental rant I’m going to address the biggest three issues I have.

  • Redemption. What does this mean in Fairy Tail as a manga and what does it mean for Jellal specifically?
  • Jellal vs. Siegrain. Is this a versus or are they both pieces of the same whole?
  • Moving forward. Where can Jellal go from here?

Keep reading

Confession #1,875

I’m both chronically ill and severely mentally ill, and I do think the mental illness community throws us under the buss a lot. Like; “You wouldn’t tell someone in a wheelchair to walk”. People do that all of the time to us! You would know this if any of you listened to us, our pain and experiences. I feel like even those who try to be the most inclusive completely ignore us, too. This is why I get so sick of seeing people say that we’re going through the same thing. We’re not. My mental pain is so different than my physical, both in how it feels, and how I’m treated because of them, and I’m sick of being invalidated. It’s not the same boat. I can at least try to hide my mental illness. I can’t hide a wheelchair to avoid people confronting me and demanding why I use it. If you’re going to say we’re in the same boat, listen to us for Gods sake. You’re not immune from ableism because you’re mentally ill.

READ CAREFULLY

this is for people who are misunderstanding my position on the whole trans/nonbinary discourse (i will be using nonbinary/nb as a term to refer to anyone who isn’t male, famale, binary trans or intersex. i will use trans to mean binary trans, not the umbrella term. the umbrella term will be written as trans*). i know this is old news for a lot of you, but i’m making this for those who seemed to misinterpret my statements on this issue. if you called me a “transphobic bigot”, this is probably for you.


ON AN INDIVIDUAL LEVEL: i do not hate nonbinary individuals, i really don’t. i definitely have a huge problem with the community, but i don’t hate all of them on an individual level. i know/interact with plenty of nb people in real life and, believe it or not, i don’t walk up to them and start telling them that their gender isn’t “valid”. i will use their preferred pronouns as long as they don’t get any crazier than they/them (i.e. ze/zir, whatever…) and i would respect them like i would any other person, because i think everyone deserves basic respect even if i don’t agree with them. it comes down to this; i really don’t care what you identify as as long as you aren’t affecting me. it’s really not my business until you make it my business.

TRANSTRENDERS AND SCIENTIFIC PROOF: this is when i start to have an issue with the nb community. a lot of things about this community bugs me, but what bugs me the most is when they say that “you don’t need to have dysphoria to be trans”. when someone says something like that, it makes me feel like they don’t know what trans even means. as a binary trans person, i would like everyone to know something; trans is a medical condition, not “breaking the binary” or changing your pronouns. countless amounts of studies have scientifically proven this, and some studies have even shown that mtf trans people have brains similar to cis female brains (and vice versa, ftms with brains similar to cis males). gender dysphoria is proven and diagnosable, and there’s a reason why you need to be diagnosed with it to get a letter of recommendation for any surgeries or hormones. not only this, but saying that you don’t need dysphoria to be trans is like saying that you can just choose to be trans. what bothers me is how people are treating being trans like a trend as well as saying that being nonbinary, which is backed by no proof, is just as valid as being trans, which is backed by scientific and medical proof. its fine if you want to identify as whatever, but if you want people to take it seriously, you’re gonna need proof. that’s just how it is.

THE TRANS* UMBRELLA: trans and nonbinary are different things, and i believe they should be treated as such. both of these issues, while i believe they are similar in some ways, are completely different. it comes down to this; i am not nonbinary, and so i do not want people thinking i am, especially since i don’t agree with the community. i know this sounds petty, but i almost feel like the word trans has been stolen from me because now pretty much anyone can say they’re trans*. the trans community has gone through a lot and i feel like the fact that the definition of trans has kind of shifted is pretty invalidating.

“BUT INTERSEX IS A THIRD GEND–”: no it isn’t. it’s a mutation and just as much of a medical condition as trans is. saying intersex is its own gender is like saying trans is its own gender or albinism is its own race. an abnormality is not its own gender.

IN CONCLUSION: i do not hate nb people but i have an issue with most of the community. i do not believe nb is real, but i will when i see actual scientific evidence. you cannot be trans without having dysphoria. being trans is not fun or cool. i hate the fact that trans* has become an umbrella term because i feel like nb trans* people misrepresent actual trans people. there are 2 genders.

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT I *DON’T* HATE NB/TRANS* PEOPLE! I WILL ONLY HATE YOU IF YOU ACT LIKE A DUMB ASS.

Imagine Honey and GoGo being a couple

@tomagolemon @sketchhungry

Imagine GoGo helping Honey Lemon cook in the kitchen, and Honey asks her to go fetch her some ingredients for her. After much longer than GoGo should have taken to do that, she turns away from her mixing bowls and sees her standing on her tip toes and struggling to get an ingredient that’s up on a high shelf.

Honey Lemon laughs because she realizes that she’s made such an incredibly obvious mistake, and GoGo gets offended and really, really, really mad. But it’s fine, because Honey was making her famous brownies and she let GoGo have most of them.

Imagine Honey Lemon dragging GoGo to ballroom dancing classes, and all of the routines she’s interested in are about the most acrobatic and energetic of them all, like the salsa, the tango, and the cha-cha. GoGo absolutely refuses to wear a dress to any of the “dress rehearsal” sessions, and Honey Lemon has always dreamed of being the lady in the duo, and she is absolutely not going to start leading now because have you seen these killer heels she bought simply for this class?

The two of them become one of the most famous and infamous couples for how GoGo constantly struggles with the height difference and just dancing while Honey Lemon is just always so graceful and fluid like a “six foot human swan.” GoGo almost quits when the first time they try a dip, Honey Lemon ends up hitting her head on the floor, but she assures GoGo that they can fix that in time for the performance at the end of the semester.

The night comes and the whole gang is there to watch them, GoGo in a rented suit with a purple bowtie and Honey Lemon looking stunning in a pink-red tango dress she’s made with her own hands. GoGo is still a horrific dancer, but at the very least, Honey Lemon knows how to have them do a dip without her leg hitting the floor:

With one of her feet touching the ground for extra support while she raises her other leg, and GoGo practically squatting and suffering intense pain from the awkward position just so her girlfriend can live her dream.

Imagine Honey Lemon getting mad at GoGo and freaking everyone knows, because suddenly she stops posting pictures with GoGo on Instagram, and suddenly, the super affectionate and friendly Honey Lemon is cold and distant to GoGo. Everyone’s just like “Dude, you better find out whatever it is you did wrong and beg for forgiveness.” and GoGo’s like “What do you think I’m doing?!”

Imagine GoGo getting mad at Honey Lemon and she just constantly begs GoGo for forgiveness, offering her reconciliation baked goods, making puppy dog eyes at her, and constantly making incredibly depressed selfies on Instagram. Then, when GoGo finally forgives her, they always have a selfie with Honey Lemon hugging GoGo, kissing her, or being carried up into the air saying that things are back to normal between them.

Imagine GoGo having a very, very, very bad day–her newest set of wheels are a bust, even slower than the last generation, and one of them even failed catastrophically and almost hurt someone in a lab accident when it went flying off in two pieces as soon as they hit maximum velocity. Then, Honey Lemon is there to quietly sit beside her and hold her while she sulks about how she could have messed this up, she’s been doing this for years, and holy crap, she came so freaking close to actually hurting someone by accident and that terrifies her.

Imagine Honey Lemon having a very, very, very bad day–her chemical formulas fizzle out, the reaction she was looking for just doesn’t happen, and the solutions she’s been leaving stewing for a week have been contaminated by unforeseen circumstances, meaning she has to redo the whole thing and invalidate all her research on that phenomena so far. Then, as soon as they’re both free, GoGo takes her on their bike and they just spend a couple of hours riding tandem, stopping every so often so Honey Lemon can get off and take a photo of all the neat things they see.

Imagine Honey Lemon and GoGo just sitting on a couch, watching anime on Honey’s laptop. These two women who cannot be more different from each other just so completely, absolutely, contentedly in love and having a grand old time just doing mundane things together, with GoGo laying back and sinking into the cushions while her feet dangle a few inches off the floor, while Honey Lemon is right beside her, arms draped over GoGo and her chin resting on her shoulder, her long legs pulled up on the couch and tucked under her.

Quiet & loud, how it leaves out recovery and survivors

This is going to be a long piece on my own personal feelings as someone seeking to get better and as a survivor, so be prepared! Content warnings for mentions of abuse (emotional, mental, and sexual).

People want to change the terms quiet and loud borderline to other words that still give off the same good/bad connotation, without realizing that its more complex than people misusing terminology. The (easily misused and misunderstood)terminology of bpd and stigma of bpd are not mutually exclusive, they work in tandem. Part of the reason there is stigma is because of stigmatized & negative terminology when people talk about bpd. The reason so much of our terminology is stigmatized and negative is because they were created with those views in mind, much like the waif, witch, queen, and hermit - all of which are toxic and mostly sexist.

I fell into the quiet borderline type behaviour when I got diagnosed, I continue to fall into it at times, other times, I don’t. I never heard these terms or had them used against me until I stopped internalizing things and started actively pursuing autonomy, actively stating my boundaries, actively validating myself (all the things they want you to do to recover). To do these things, I had to express myself vocally, externally, outwards, I had to reach out.

Then and only then did I learn the terms and have “loud” borderline used against me. It’s important to realize that no two bpd sufferers will act the same, much like any other human being, but I don’t see why having two polar opposite terms that create an unhealthy dichotomy of good vs bad is necessary or progressive. It’s important to be able to understand that there is not one way to be borderline, that internal things are just as necessary and important as external things in regard to meeting criteria and reaching a diagnosis. Still, this system categorizes complex individuals into black and white groups, many of whom express traits and behaviours from both sides. It continually invalidates our actions and reactions as pathological, as something that needs to be grouped up and labelled for proof, instead of existing as valid emotions.

No matter how much we’d like to have terms to express the different ways our behaviour exhibits itself, time and time again, people are considered a “quiet” or “good” borderline until they are not(speaking up, establishing boundaries, validating their autonomy and emotions). Then they are being “loud” or “bad”. These terms are completely relative and up for judgement to the individual witnessing them. 

They’re not regulated, they’re up to interpretation and personal(often abusive) bias, and it leaves no room for recovery. Recovery includes ceasing to internalize all your grief and symptoms, while learning to express yourself proactively and in a healthy manner. I will never stop being borderline but if I do recover(I have complicated feelings about that term as well) what will I be? Quiet because I will deal with some issues on my own? Or loud because I’m expressing myself externally?

I am incapable of existing in either side of a dichotomy, especially one defined by personal bias. I am a complex individual, a person seeking to get better, this holds no place for me.

Beyond this, much of my “loud” behaviour is intrinsically tied to me reclaiming my autonomy, my power, my respect, and my anger after being emotionally, mentally, and sexually abused. Almost all of my “rages” or “acting out” is me finally allowing myself to be mad about what he did to me instead of blaming myself, not allowing that experience to happen to me or anyone else, and giving consequences to people I interact with with do the same sort of predatory, toxic, and abusive behaviour my abuser did.

All of these actions society already punishes me for because I should be complicit and forgiving of abuse. I get punished further by being the non-ideal borderline, I should be seen, but not heard, I should be a quiet mess and never demand more from others - never demand respect or justice, never hold people accountable and give consequence. I refuse to be pushed into that mindset anymore.

Nevertheless, I still exhibit quiet behaviours far more often, I self hate, I internalize almost everything because I believe so strongly that I am a monster, that I am poison, that I am unlovable - all of these beliefs were enforced by my abuser.

It’s harmful and victim blaming to attribute my anger about my abuse, my rightful cathartic healing anger, as “rages”. It de-legitimizes my feelings, my experiences, it claims my reaction is hysterical and over-the-top, unnecessary. My anger is not a symptomatic “rage”, my anger is real and valid. Attributing that to rages and loud behaviour is unhelpful and hurtful, it removes my autonomy from my own experiences.

Having myself be almost congratulated by being quiet and harming myself sends me into a whirlwind of victim blaming. I need to hurt myself more or else I’ll end up like my abuser, if I don’t hurt myself the only other option would be to hurt others, that I need to internalize all my pain or else no one will like me, I feel the need to destroy myself to meet the trivial criteria of the quiet borderline - to be loved.

I can’t see a way for the quiet vs loud borderline dichotomy to exist without leaving me out in the cold as an abuse survivor seeking recovery, as someone who is loud and angry because of injustice, but quiet and self hating because of trauma.

hey y'all psa stop saying things along the lines of “zayn suffered from ed and liam didn’t” cos that’s not true! liam suffered from an ED and alcoholism (he talked about them both in his attitude mag interview) so stop invalidating & erasing his struggles w mental health. zayn and liams experiences were different because of the racism zayn faced, that is completely true and a valid point, but stop acting like liam has never struggled with anything at all.

There seems to be this idea that since nonbinary covers a wide range of genders and presentations that saying you’re attracted to nonbinary people is invalid because we are all so differ from each other but that doesn’t really make sense to me. All genders have a huge range of presentations, my super butch boss presents in a completely different way than my femme friend does and they are both women and I haven’t seen anyone say that you can’t say you’re attracted to women because it covers such a wide range. And to be clear I am not saying that people should say that but it’s a huge double standard I see when the only time anyone ever brings up the variety of gender expressions and presentations is when they are trying to say that you need to be same gender attraction to be mspec and that iding as mspec if you are attracted to nonbinary people and the opposite binary gender is fetishizing.

Two people can experience the same thing different ways without one of them being wrong

Hi, I’m an agender person who used to be a girl. That is how I conceptualise my experiences. I’ve given it extensive thought and decided that that’s the best way to frame it: I felt distinctly and wholeheartedly female in childhood and early adolescence, became more ambivalent/questioning in high school, then gradually stopped identifying as female as an adult. I have no idea if being aware of nonbinary genders at a younger age would have changed things, because I have zero recollection of doubting whether I was a girl or having any misgivings about it before age 15. It feels more true to myself to say “I used to be a girl” than “I thought I was a girl.”

My experiences are different from many trans people’s. Lots of people feel that they’ve only ever had one gender identity but they didn’t realise it until a certain point; even if they only figured it out in late adolescence or adulthood there was always something that didn’t fit right about the gender they were expected to be. These are both completely valid experiences. My feelings don’t invalidate theirs and theirs don’t invalidate mine. They’re mutually exclusive, but they can coexist in different people. What we have in common is that the gender we are now isn’t what was handed to us at birth; we just got there by different paths. My genderlessness is no less real just because I used to have a gender when I was a child.

The invalidating part is when one set of experiences is erased to strengthen acceptance of the other one, and people assume it can only be one way or the other for all trans people ever and one is right and the other is wrong.

If I never see another post “helpfully” telling the reader that the only acceptable way to describe a trans person – any trans person, a generic hypothetical trans person who stands in for the entire population – is that they were always [current gender] and it’s transphobic to say that they were ever a [gender assumed at birth], it’ll be too soon. I’m not exaggerating the degree of absolute black-and-white rhetoric that these writers use, either.

It is speaking over an individual trans person to describe them, without asking first, as either an X who used to be (or ‘was born as’) a Y or as having been an X all along who just looked like a Y. If you assume one narrative when they lived it the other way, you are invalidating their experiences. If you need a one-size-fits-all description of how a trans person got from point A to point B – which you might as part of a Trans 101 lesson, potentially – either of those is going to upset people for whom the description doesn’t fit. “Assumed to be X when they were born, but turned out to be Y instead” is about the best you can do to include everyone.

There is no single unifying transition narrative, and that goes right down to how we experience our gender as well as the path we take after realising our gender isn’t what others thought.

Regarding Cassiopeia's 800,000 Record & why you should not compare

Can we get some facts straight? In the 1st Quarter 2008, when TVXQ’s fanclub, Cassiopeia got into the Guinness Book of World Records for having 800,000 members, that 800,000+ fans were the registered fans from SOUTH KOREA ALONE.

That count is taken from their DAUM FANCAFE, which had STRICT REGISTRATION PROCEDURES.

When Cassiopeia achieved that record and that title, it was only the 800,000 South Korean members counted.

JAPANESE BIGEASTS AREN’T INCLUDED IN THE NUMBER, AND THE SAME GOES FOR THE TVXQ FANS ACROSS THE GLOBE.

In 2009, CASSIOPEIA even reached BEYOND 900,000 MEMBERS. And again, this is exclusive to South Korean fans.

Can you imagine the hundreds of thousands of BIGEASTS and INTERNATIONAL TVXQ fans who were never counted or included in the record?

STOP COMPARING THE “FANCLUB” COUNTS, or saying that “this fanclub has surpassed TVXQ’s fanclub”, because the system for collecting of memberships are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

It’s unfair to both Cassiopeia (Korean & International), and to Bigeasts.

Unless the form of fanclub registration is the same, your comparisons are invalid. The basis for comparison are not in the same level at all.

Cassiopeia achieved that record through South Korean members alone, with an exclusive, strict registration and screening procedures. It’s not open to international fans at all.

The fanclub application for EXO-L is FREE and OPEN to practically EVERYONE, irregardless of country or nationality. It’s more accessible, and does not have strict membership regulations, which means one person could possibly have more than one account, making the numbers inaccurate.

I am not saying this to spite on EXO, or on their fans, as I myself am a fan of Park Chanyeol’s. I just wish to share this with fans who might not get why a lot of us TVXQ fans are pressed over claims that Cassiopeia’s record has been surpassed.

I really wish SM Entertainment went through the normal, more valid route of recruiting fanclub memberships, not like this.

anonymous asked:

you're a girl lol. stop trying to be trendy and say you're a guy. i can't stand people like you who think if you say you are a guy then you are. i talked about this to my mom who is actually trans and went through an incredibly expensive sex change and whose family won't talk to her anymore because they don't accept her. i showed your blog and she was disgusted by you. even an actual trans person knows you're not a guy lmao.

so normally i wouldn’t answer this since i’ve decided to ignore all messages like but this one bothered me. the fact that you asked one trans person their opinion and you take that as fact is ridiculous. it’s like asking one black person if they find something racist. they’re not the one who decides something for an entire community of people. especially when it seems you and your mom are both truscum, and since i don’t meet your extremely precise requirements to be trans OBVIOUSLY i’m not a guy. let’s make one thing clear. how i identify makes no difference to your life so whether you like it or not is completely irrelevant. in addition, i DO plan on transitioning and and am currently seeing doctors and psychiatrists to get approved for treatment BUT it does not mean that someone who chooses not to undergo surgery is invalid as a trans person. so yeah, the sentiment is mutual because you disgust me with your transphobic behavior - and no, having a mom who’s trans doesn’t automatically make you right or any less transphobic.

anonymous asked:

That anon with the "true fan" message is completely wrong. The Slores are the only true fans now! We are more every day and soon our way of fangirling will be the majority, and all the rest will be fake fans and their blogs will lose followers and die. Tom belongs to the slores and everybody who disagrees can go fuck themselves!

Nooo! Listen, I can appreciate where you’re coming from because you’re basically saying my way of thinking is correct, but you’re going about this all wrong! I meant what I said when I said, “a fan is a fan is a fan.” Just because I am a slore doesn’t make me superior than any other fan and non-slores aren’t invalidated as fans just because they participate differently than we do!! C'mon now, your second sentence completely contradicts the first… just stop this whole “true fan” business!!!

Here, look at this shitty venn diagram I made:

*NOTE: Just because you do not identify as a slore, it does NOT mean you fit every bullet point on the non-slores side. You can obviously have traits from both or neither, I just made up a random list - it’s not definitive of any particular subset of fans. Hence why I wrote “might” for every bullet point because there are probably more non-slores than slores and I can’t very well broadly define a unit made up of so many unique individuals.*

Anyway, the list on either side doesn’t really fucking matter. You know what does? That middle section. You like Tom Hiddleston? Great, you’re a fan. You appreciate his work? Even better. That’s literally the definition of the word. You are a fan. There is no damn totem pole, there is no ranking, Tom isn’t going to turn his nose up at you if you identify as a slore or not. 

Like, let’s say the day you became a fan of Tom Hiddleston, you got a badge in the mail that just said ‘FAN.’ We all wear that badge proudly. Now, some of us have an additional badge that says 'SLORE.’ That’s a badge I’m pretty proud of too. I have made some fucking awesome friends, really progressed in my writing, have an outlet to vent my sexual frustration, and just a great atmosphere to hang out in. I was a fan of Tom’s before I joined the slores and, god forbid, Tumblr crumbles and the #slores are no more, I’ll be a fan of Tom’s after. 

I’m not gonna fuck around and pretend I interact or necessarily agree with the thinking shared by some non-slores. But I do try to be welcoming and your message is anything but. It’s incredibly exclusive and rude and it didn’t rally me whatsoever. Whenever some “fandom drama” occurs, people always look at the slores and think we’re so uppity with our tagging and our banter. Your particular mindset is very toxic and will only serve to divide the fandom :/

anonymous asked:

Stiles is not on Lydia's intellectual level like wtf the girl is a genius and you compare her to a pretentious mediocre boy

There are a lot of different ways to be intellectual besides having book smarts, which I see as a common misconception when it comes to lydia vs stiles. A lot of people think that stiles’ intuition invalidates lydias which couldn’t be more untrue. Aren’t two people allowed to be smart in different ways? It’s not a competition. Lydia knows the facts, stiles helps her use the facts to figure things out. They’re a team. They feed off of each other and make each other better without dragging each other down. They both have different areas that they’re good at, like jeff says they’re the mulder and scully of the group. Im sorry you don’t see it that way and that’s completely up to you, but that’s how it is to me! :)

anonymous asked:

ship whoever you want to ship, i'm not judging, but if you ask me Jensen and Jared have always been closer than Jensen and Misha...

they’re completely different relationships though

yes, jared and jensen are close. there’s no denying that. they lived together for a while and they’ve both said they’re like brothers now. and that’s just it. they’re like brothers. they goof around and gang up on other people and pull pranks and are always looking out for each other.

but (and i’m not trying to invalidate jared and jensen’s closeness at all) the way i see cockles is as something more serious? quieter and more intense. like misha’s a lot older than jared and more… mature? in some ways? and i can see him and jensen having all these deep conversations about everything just as much as they tease each other too. i’ve mentioned this before but they really listen when the other’s talking (the sdcc nerd hq panel is a great example of this, when you’ve got mark and jared interrupting misha constantly but jensen hardly at all) and where there wasn’t that instant click at the beginning like jensen had with jared, it seems like he and misha have really sort of learned each other and carved out space for each other in their lives until they’re as close as they are now

(also you hear about misha and his family being at the ackles’ house fairly frequently but never at jared’s) 

(also also jensen is the only one who calls misha ‘mish’ which is so important)

anonymous asked:

No hate for the > 30 y.o. straight male actors but oh the irony when a 22 y.o. actress who's not in touch w/ social media can phrase wording better by understanding the movement, trope & social issues behind it while staying neutral & safe. I mean..?

Idk if I agree with this. I think both of them got a lot of criticism. The main difference here was Alycia never spoke out against the show or implied she had a problem with it, and genuinely was careful and respectful. She understood we were traumatized and danced the line between empathy and professionalism beautifully. I don’t think people sending her criticism have a leg to stand on.

Ricky called out the show for bullying him, but completely invalidated our movement like we were a bunch of angry kiddos upset our fave died. It’s been a month, plenty of time to read the variety article to understand WHY we’re upset, etc etc. Even if it is PR, it’s still upsetting and it’s still harmful. Yeah, I don’t know why people are so vehemently defending him to the point of guilting people for being upset. I hold no malice towards him as a person and I wish him the best, but I am still upset about what happened.

anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on abortion? My friends say I can't disagree w abortion and claim I'm a feminist

Kindly remind your friends that they don’t have the authority to determine what counts as true feminism. Women can value and fight for the equality of men and women while engaging different forms of activism. Women need to stop invalidating other women’s feminism just because it doesn’t look the same as theirs.

I saw this interview with Annie Lennox who tried to completely invalidate Beyonce’s feminism—calling her feminist “lite"—just because she hasn’t accomplished social advancement for women’s equality in the same grandiose ways as other noble women in recent history and to be honest, this really pisses me off. It’s just so damn petty. Annie Lennox’s feminism is manifesting in different ways, but they are both making a difference by empowering women. Lennox has no right to call Beyonce “feminist lite” when she is nothing short of feminist light.

No offense, but to anyone trying to project some sort of “legitimized” feminism—fitting a whole ideology into a box just because it’s one you and your personal agenda fit into–get over yourself. You’re invited to the feminist party, but you don’t get to make up the rules or accuse anyone of being “feminist lite.” Be nice to each other, ladies. 

As for abortion, I’ve discussed my stance here

anonymous asked:

can I ask why you've linked to a video by digibrony when he's defended princess molestia before ? im sorry, but after that video I can't really take his words seriously .

I don’t know what Digi has said in the past, I don’t follow him that closely- this was a submission to me. But for this post we’re both talking about something completely different to APM, so it’s moot.

Disagreeing with someone on one point doesn’t invalidate everything else.

rikudera  asked:

What's your opinion of people who are like "this char is trash and completely irredeemably evil but my opinion is still the only correct one because I say I love the char in the next breath and the only way anyone is allowed to like the char is to call them trash"

Haha it’s probably pretty obvious from recent conversations I think that line of thought is bullshit. XD But it’s worth breaking down why it’s bullshit.

There are three things going on, here, that I can see:

  1. the person making this claim is insinuating that they are some sort of an authority because they say they have positive feelings for the character they’re making sweeping claims about;
  2. which leads in to assumption that because they love an evil character for being evil, that they are being more balanced than people who completely hate that character or really like that character for completely different reasons, and in current culture, ‘balanced’ = objective;
  3. which both rely on the assumption that the perceptions and experiences that incline them to their reading of the character are universal or somehow more correct, and if their experiences and perceptions are universal/more correct, that means others’ experiences and perceptions are either invalid (for some reason) or don’t actually exist.

End result: anyone who doesn’t like the character in the same way they do has to be wrong.

Which is utter nonsense. People regularly get value out of stories and characters that other people would swear up and down are worthless, and the value they get is based on their past experiences, how they experience and perceive the world, and how the story and characters intersect with those factors. Everyone is necessarily going to have a different experience with any given story or character because there are so many different ways of experiencing the world. Even viewpoints that take into account every single canonical happening are going to be different because every individual’s perspective is different.

Anyone who tries to position themselves as having the most correct, or only correct, viewpoint on a story or character is being conceited and self-centered as hell.