they are both not perfect and they both mistakes


































Always Okay

Sorry, its not 30 days of Jensen and Dean, but it’s a little something I felt compelled to write. Hope you enjoy.

“Dean, I’m pregnant,” you spit out as he watched you carefully, his brow furrowed slightly.

You hadn’t been expecting his response.

“Yahtzee,” he said, making a proud little face and taking a swig from his beer.

You gawked at him, unable to believe that he was taking this so well.

You knitted your brow together and sigh heavily.

“And it’s yours, Winchester,” you huffed, still not fully accepting his aloofness. There certainly had to be a meltdown hanging just around the corner.

He finished off his beer and set it on the table, stepping toward you and pulling you off the bed and into his arms. You steadied yourself by placing your hands on both sides of his tie, his pecs twitching slightly at the contact.

“I’d certainly hope so, princess,” he said smiling down at you, his lips rapidly approaching yours. He kissed you fiercely, his large hand pressed into the small of your back, holding you firmly against him.

You pushed away, staring at him in disbelief.

“Wait,” you breathed. “How are you kind of even a little bit okay with this? How are you not screaming that this is insane?” You panicked, stepping away from him. “That we have no right to be doing this,” you rambled. “Bringing a kid into this life is selfish,” you added, running your hands through your hair. Apparently you were going to have a meltdown for both of you since Dean had clearly lost it.


Dean grabbed your elbow and pulled you back to him, silencing your rambling with his lips pressed firmly against yours. You melted into him.

“Y/N, we both let this happen. Call it carelessness. Call it a mistake. Call it reckless. I choose to call this perfect because I love you. Sure bringing a kid into this world is massively stupid living the way we do, but if it’s with you, I know it will be okay,” he shrugged, his arms wrapping around your waist and holding you against him.

“How are you so sure, Dean?” you breathed, the fear creeping into your voice.

“Cause with you everything is always okay. In fact, it’s perfect,” he smiled, kissing you sweetly.

“Okay,” you whispered against his plush lips as they moved in time against yours. He backed you against the bed and you toppled on top of it. He swiftly crawled over you, his hand immediately caressing your cheek.

“Okay,” he said as if that settled it.

He rolled his hips against yours, kissing you with passion. You knew Dean loved you. This was better than anything you could have hoped for.

haha yea those two WOULD be cute together wouldn’t they? I don’t think I’ll end up making that canon though hahaha
—  Famous last words of a writer before a pairing consumes their life
Kalagang #04 (2/2)

1x05 Art Is Like Religion

Kala’s wedding day. This is where Wolfgang and Kala recognize each other’s presence. After this, they are not unsure of each other anymore; they know one another is real. When I watched Kala’s wedding, first I was just mesmerized by Kala’s outfit. When I rewatched the episode, I was then mesmerized by cinematography – especially how they did with the colors. When I rewatched it again about hundred times, I realized more symbolism are hidden in that scene…* whispers * and some foreshadowing.

Kala: I had no idea how heavy it all would be. I hope I don’t collapse in the middle of the circle

Original post [x] @nataljedormer

Dear Kala,

First of all, you look like a goddess. Secondly, you’re getting really good at predicting near future. And lastly…heavy isn’t it? Not just the dress and all those jewelries you’re wearing…but also the weight of decision you have to make as an adult, the weight of your heart that keeps pulling you away from this wedding, the weight of guilt because you know you will never love Rajan, the weight of standards – made by the society, maybe your family, and even made by yourself.

When we become adults, there are so many things that we have carry on our shoulders. It’s not easy to simply ignore the fact that we live in a world where perceptions come first. They seem invisible, yet they somehow always find a way to give pressure on us. Perceptions, social standards, expectations. Whatever the cause might be, we slowly give in ourselves to them. And then one day, we realize that we’re wearing something that hides our true selves.

It may be an armor to protect ourselves; may be a uniform so that we can fit in; or it may be a dress that will make you beautiful. However, eventually, all of them will make us feel empty inside…because they do not show who we really are – what we really want.

Basically, Kala is hiding herself – especially her “unknown” desire – underneath that dress. The dress represents her pretending to be happy with her choice…pretending to be a good daughter her family knows as well as a perfect wife Rajan thinks. Sounds like a heavy burden to me; no wonder why the dress feels heavy to her.

Sun: I’m afraid I’ve just made the biggest mistake of my life (1x06)

Original post [x] @sense8sgifs

This is a scene where Kala and Sun unknowingly visit each other, which makes sense because they share similar emotions. Both had to make an important decision. For Kala, it’s wedding; For Sun, it’s prison. Both of them made their decisions…and now, both of them are not certain if they’ve made the right one. I personally think that, for a moment right there, two women did feel regrets.

And because Sun – who coincidentally had very similar feelings with Kala – says she’s just made the biggest mistake of her life, sorry Rajan but…I should say, same goes for Kala. Seriously, Rajan, look at her. She’s not being nervous. She’s being unhappy.

Original post [x] @whatevermale

In Germany, look what we have here people. WATER. WOLFGANG. NAKED. SWIMMING. This whole montage of Wolfgang’s swimming and Kala’s wedding shows clear contrast between them – in terms of colors, elements, outfits (maybe appearance? can’t think of any good word), and interestingly “the way they move” which I’ll explain in a minute.

We can already notice the difference of colors (red and blue) and of elements (water and fire). I don’t have the GIF image, but for those of you do not remember, Kala and Rajan walk around the fire during wedding ceremony. Moreover, Wolfgang is naked symbolizing he has nothing to hide. He doesn’t let anything or anyone to cover up who he is. Unlike Kala, Wolfgang does not pretend.

Original post [x] @fyeahwolfiekala

Alright, here, I want to go over how Kala and Wolfgang move. I’m talking about the action. Like the way each character is actually moving. Kala is moving in a circle, whereas Wolfgang is swimming in a straight line. What does that mean? It foreshadows how each of them is going to react to one another – when they realize what they feel towards each other is more than just a desire.

While Kala is going to:

Wolfgang: [I’ve listened to you] talk in circles about what’s right and proper. Why you have to do this or you shouldn’t do that…(2x10)

Wolfgang, on the other hand, will:

Wolfgang: [I] don’t give a shit about any of it. I don’t care about rules, about what’s right or wrong. What matters to me is this. Us. Right now. (2x10)

See what I mean? Wolfgang will not stop. He will only see Kala and reach out for her without hesitation…hoping that Kala will do the same.

Original post [x] @rossbarton

In this scene when Wolfgang stops in the middle of a pool, while Kala and Rajan are making vows to each other, it felt like Wolfgang stopped in order to listen to her. Not her vows, but this inner voice of hers whispering that this is not what she wants – that she wants something more. Something different. Someone different.

Kala: I take the first of seven steps with you, my husband-to-be, that we may cherish each other and promise we will grow together in mental and spiritual strength. […] and promise love and obedience in all things. […] We shall share love, share the same tastes, share the same food. […] Let us make a vow together to share our strengths. We shall be of one mind. We shall observe these vows together.

Original post [x] @seahenge

Another foreshadowing of Kalagang. Come on – share love, share the same tastes, share the same food, share strengths…shall be of one mind? That sounds so sensate.

Sidenote: I love how each vow matches to other sensates [x]

Original post [x] @ethanschandler

I put that GIF simply because it’s one of my favorite moments in season 1. Wolfgang looks so f***king beautiful in that scene. Especially his eyes, I can’t take my eyes off of his gorgeous blue eyes. I can literally spend my whole day just looking at that GIF image. I’m serious.

OK, moving on. 

Original post [x] @rosetylecr

If one desires to reach out for the other, one must come out of his/her world. It takes courage to step into the other’s world. Everything is different. Everything is new. Everything is unfamiliar.

Wolfgang knows that things he has done, who he is…will haunt him, if he goes into Kala’s world. He knows the risk. He could have chosen to stay in the water, like he always did. He didn’t have to come out. He’s aware of what fire can do to him. And yet, he chooses to come out of the water. He steps into Kala’s world. For her.

Wolfgang: What the fuck are you doing? You’re not in love with him.

Original post [x] @geenozah

Because in that moment, Wolfgang is her inner voice – telling her the truth. And I don’t think it’s Wolfgang who wanted to reach out for Kala. I think it’s Kala herself who reached out for Wolfgang first. It’s just…she doesn’t know it, nor she wants to admit it.

Original post [x] @fyeahmaxriemelt

…and so Kala gets literally cockblocked by Wolfgang Bogdanow.

Not for Happiness

by Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse Rinpoche

Buddhist practices are techniques we use to tackle our habitual self-cherishing. Each one is designed to attack individual habits until the compulsion to cling to “self ” is entirely eradicated. So although a practice may look Buddhist, if it reinforces self-clinging, it is actually far more dangerous than any overtly non-Buddhist practice.

The aim of far too many teachings these days is to make people “feel good,” and even some Buddhist masters are beginning to sound like New Age apostles. Their talks are entirely devoted to validating the manifestation of ego and endorsing the “rightness” of our feelings, neither of which have anything to do with the teachings we find in the pith instructions. So if you are only concerned about feeling good, you are far better off having a full-body massage or listening to some uplifting or life-affirming music than receiving dharma teachings, which were definitely not designed to cheer you up. On the contrary, the dharma was devised specifically to expose your failings and make you feel awful.

Try reading The Words of My Perfect Teacher. If you find it depressing, if Patrul Rinpoche’s disconcerting truths rattle your worldly self-confidence, be happy. It is a sign that at long last you are beginning to understand something about the dharma. And by the way, to feel depressed is not always a bad thing. It is completely understandable for someone to feel depressed and deflated when their most humiliating failing is exposed. Who wouldn’t feel a bit raw in such a situation? But isn’t it better to be painfully aware of a failing rather than utterly oblivious to it? If a flaw in your character remains hidden, how can you do anything about it? So although pith instructions might temporarily depress you, they will also help uproot your shortcomings by dragging them into the open. This is what is meant by the phrase “dharma penetrating your mind,” or, as the great Jamgon Kongtrul Lodro Taye put it, “the practice of dharma bearing fruit,” rather than the so-called good experiences too many of us hope for, such as good dreams, blissful sensations, ecstasy, clairvoyance, or the enhancement of intuition.

Patrul Rinpoche said there is no such thing as a person who has perfected both dharma practice and worldly life, and if we ever meet someone who appears to be good at both, the likelihood is that his or her skills are grounded in worldly values.

It is such a mistake to assume that practicing dharma will help us calm down and lead an untroubled life; nothing could be further from the truth. Dharma is not a therapy. Quite the opposite, in fact; dharma is tailored specifically to turn your life upside down — it’s what you sign up for. So when your life goes pear-shaped, why do you complain? If you practice and your life fails to capsize, it is a sign that what you are doing is not working. This is what distinguishes the dharma from New Age methods involving auras, relationships, communication, well-being, the Inner Child, being one with the universe, and tree hugging. From the point of view of dharma, such interests are the toys of samsaric beings — toys that quickly bore us senseless.

The Heart of Sadness

Kongtrul Rinpoche suggested we pray to the guru, buddhas, and bodhisattvas and ask them to grant their blessings, “So I may give birth to the heart of sadness.” But what is a “heart of sadness”? Imagine one night you have a dream. Although it is a good dream, deep down you know that eventually you will have to wake up and it will be over. In life, too, sooner or later, whatever the state of our relationships, our health, our jobs, and every aspect of our lives, everything, absolutely everything, will change. And the little bell ringing in the back of your head to remind you of this inevitability is what is called the “heart of sadness.” Life, you realise, is a race against time, and you should never put off dharma practice until next year, next month, or tomorrow — because the future may never happen.

This race-against-time kind of attitude is so important, especially when it comes to practice. My own experience has shown me that promising myself I will start to practice next week more or less guarantees that I will never get around to it. And I don’t think I am alone. So once you understand that real dharma practice is not just about formal sitting meditation but a never-ending confrontation with and opposition to pride and ego, as well as a lesson in how to accept change, you will be able to start practicing right away. For example, imagine you are sitting on a beach admiring the sunset. Nothing terrible has happened and you are content, even happy. Then suddenly that little bell starts to ring in your head, reminding you that this could be the last sunset you ever see. You realize that, were you to die, you might not be reborn with the ability to appreciate a sunset, let alone the capacity to understand what a sunset is, and this thought alone helps you focus your mind on practice.

Go Beyond Concept

A sincere wish to practice the dharma is not born of a desire for personal happiness or to be perceived as a “good” person, but neither do we practice because we want to be unhappy or become “bad” people. A genuine aspiration to practice dharma arises from the longing to attain enlightenment.

By and large, human beings tend to prefer to fit into society by following accepted rules of etiquette and being gentle, polite, and respectful. The irony is that this is also how most people imagine a spiritual person should behave. When a so-called dharma practitioner is seen to behave badly, we shake our heads over her audacity at presenting herself as a follower of the Buddha. Yet such judgments are better avoided, because to “fit in” is not what a genuine dharma practitioner strives for. Think of the great mahasiddha Tilopa, for example. He looked so outlandish that if he turned up on your doorstep today, odds are you would refuse to let him in. And you would have a point. He would most probably be almost completely naked; if you were lucky, he might be sporting some kind of G-string; his hair would never have been introduced to shampoo; and protruding from his mouth would quiver the tail of a live fish. What would your moral judgment be of such a being? “Him! A Buddhist? But he’s tormenting that poor creature by eating it alive!” This is how our theistic, moralistic, and judgmental minds work. In fact, they work in a very similar way to those of the world’s more puritanical and destructive religions. Of course, there is nothing necessarily wrong with morality, but the point of spiritual practice, according to the Vajrayana teachings, is to go beyond all our concepts, including those of morality.

Right now the majority of us can only afford to be slightly nonconformist, yet we should aspire to be like Tilopa. We should pray that one day we will have the courage to be just as crazy by daring to go beyond the eight worldly dharmas — happiness and suffering, fame and insignificance, praise and blame, gain and loss — and care not one jot about whether or not we are praised or criticised. In today’s world, such an attitude is the ultimate craziness. More than ever, people expect to be happy when they are admired and praised, and unhappy when derided and criticised. So it is unlikely that those who want the world to perceive them as sane will risk flying from the nest of the eight worldly dharmas. Sublime beings, though, couldn’t care less either way, and that is why, from our mundane point of view, they are considered crazy.

Develop Renunciation Mind

If worldly happiness is not the goal of dharma, then what is it that prompts a person to want to practice? Chances are that stepping onto a spiritual path would not even occur to a person who is rich, enjoys their life, and has a strong sense of personal security. Of course all of us, even the rich, experience moments of sadness and hopelessness, and we may even momentarily feel the urge to turn our backs on all this world has to offer. But this is not a genuine experience of renunciation mind, as it has far more to do with weariness and boredom than renunciation; it is often a sign that, like a spoiled child tired of his toys, we are in desperate need of a change.

Jamgon Kongtrul Lodro Taye said that if deep down you continue to believe a tiny corner of samsara could be useful or that it might even offer the ultimate solution to all your worldly problems, it will be extremely difficult to become a genuine spiritual seeker. To believe that life’s problems will somehow work themselves out, that everything bad is fixable, and that something about samsara has to be worth fighting for, makes it virtually impossible to nurture a genuine, all-consuming desire to practice the dharma. The only view that truly works for a dharma practitioner is that there are no solutions to the sufferings of samsara and it cannot be fixed.

It is vital to understand that however positive this worldly life, or even a small part of it, may appear to be, ultimately it will fail because absolutely nothing genuinely works in samsara. This is a very difficult attitude to adopt, but if we can at least accept it on an intellectual level, it will provide us with just the incentive we need to step onto the spiritual path. (Other incentives include making fools of ourselves or becoming entangled in worldly systems by trying to fix them.) The bottom line, though, is that only when a beginner truly appreciates just how hopeless and purposeless samsara really is will a genuine aspiration to follow a spiritual path arise in his or her mind.

As Shakyamuni Buddha, compassionately and with great courage, explained to an autocratic king, there are four inescapable realities that eventually destroy all sentient beings:

- We will all become old and frail.
- It is absolutely certain that everything will constantly change.
- Everything we achieve or accumulate will eventually fall apart and scatter.
- We are all bound to die.

Yet our emotions and habits are so strong that even when the truth is staring us in the face, we are unable to see it.

In addition to recognising the futility of samsara, the point of dharma practice is that it penetrates our minds and diminishes our affection for our ego and worldly life by pressing us to detach ourselves from the eight worldly dharmas. However beneficial a practice appears to be, however politically correct or exciting, if it does not contradict your habit of grasping at permanence, or looks harmless but insidiously encourages you to forget the truth of impermanence and the illusory nature of phenomena, it will inevitably take you in the opposite direction of dharma.

Develop the Willingness to Face the Truth

Most of us tend to resent being confronted with the truth, and from resentment springs denial. The most obvious example is that we feel annoyed when we are forced to acknowledge the illusory nature of our lives and the reality of death. We also take exception to contemplating it, even though death is an irrefutable universal truth. Our habitual reaction is to pretend it will never happen — which is how we deal with most of the other inconvenient truths we find difficult to stomach.

Instead of becoming resentful, though, it is important for anyone who sincerely wishes to become a dharma practitioner to develop a willingness and openness to embrace the truth, because the dharma is the truth. The Buddha himself made no bones about it. He never once provided his students with rose-tinted glasses to take the edge off the horror of the truth of impermanence, the agonies that are “emotion,” the illusory nature of our world, and, above all, the vast and profound truth of shunyata, emptiness. None of these truths is easy to understand, or even to aspire to understand, particularly for minds programmed by habit to long for emotional satisfaction and aim for ordinary bliss. So if someone is able to hear teachings about emptiness and tolerate them intellectually as well as practically and emotionally, it is an indication that they have a real affinity for the dharma.

Overcome Poverty Mentality

Many of us feel spiritually impoverished. Kongtrul Rinpoche said this is because we never stop desiring comfort and happiness. Until that kind of poverty mentality is overcome, a large portion of our mind will always be busy trying to secure personal comfort and happiness, making letting go of anything at all extremely difficult. Even those who present themselves as spiritual practitioners will find it impossible to make the superhuman effort necessary.

The problem here is that on a superficial, worldly level, everything spiritual, especially the buddhadharma, appears to be utterly useless and a complete waste of time. We are practical beings who like to build houses so we can be comfortable and happy, and to put our resources into erecting a stupa with no bedroom or toilet or anything functional in it strikes us as being wasteful. But as Kongtrul Rinpoche pointed out, clinging to the merest hint of an idea that worldly values and ideals might somehow be useful makes it extremely hard for anyone to tackle something as apparently futile as spiritual practice. And cutting the ties of the habits that bind us to worldly values, especially when it comes to material wealth, is virtually impossible. “Wealth,” from an authentic dharma perspective, is understood entirely differently. For a dharma practitioner, wealth is not gold, silver, or a healthy bank account; wealth is contentment — the feeling that you have enough and need nothing more.

Liberation from Illusion and Delusion

As the Buddha said in the Vajracchedika Prajnaparamita Sutra (Diamond Sutra), “Like a star, hallucination, candle, magical illusion, dewdrop, bubble, dream, lightning, or a cloud — know all compounded phenomena to be like this.”

From a Buddhist point of view, each aspect and moment of our lives is an illusion. According to the Buddha, it’s like seeing a black spot in the sky that you are unable to make sense of, then concentrating on it intensely until finally you are able to make out a flock of birds. It is like hearing a perfect echo that sounds exactly like a real person shouting back at you. Life is nothing more than a continuous stream of sensory illusions, from the obvious ones, like fame and power, to those less easy to discern, like death, nosebleeds, and headaches. Tragically, though, most human beings believe in what they see, and so the truth Buddha exposed about the illusory nature of life can be a little hard to swallow.

What happens once we know that everything we see and experience is an illusion? And what is left once those illusions have been liberated? To be liberated from illusion is to dispel all the limitations that false perception brings and entirely transform our attitude. So “liberate” means to be released from the delusion of imagining illusions to be real. But crucially, we have to want to be liberated; we have to want to become enlightened. And it is only once we develop a genuine longing for enlightenment that, almost automatically, we start to learn how not to want to be ambitious in a worldly sense. Such a longing is not easy to generate, but without it, to step aimlessly onto the spiritual path would be utterly pointless.

Millions of people in this world are interested in some version of meditation, or yoga, or one of the many so-called spiritual activities that are now so widely marketed. A closer look at why people engage in these practices reveals an aim that has little to do with liberation from delusion and has everything do to with their desperation to escape busy, unhappy lives, and heartfelt longing for a healthy, stress-free, happy life. All of which are romantic illusions.

So where do we find the roots of these illusions? Mainly in our habitual patterns and their related actions. Of course, no one of sound mind imagines any of us would willingly live an illusion. But we are contrary beings, and even though we are convinced we would shun a life built on self-deception, we continue to maintain a strong grip on the habits that are the cause of countless delusions. Small wonder the great masters of the past have said that although everyone longs to be free from suffering, most of us simply won’t let go of it; although no one wants to suffer, we find it almost impossible not to be attracted to samsara.


Most of us know that aggression is a problem, as are pride and jealousy, but the truth is that all emotions cause problems one way or another and each has a distinctive character. “Passion,” for example, is starkly different from “aggression.” Fundamentally, though, all emotions spring from one basic source, distraction.

What is “distraction”? Clearly, it is not merely the sound of a chainsaw firing up or blaring Bollywood music that interrupts our meditation practice. On a more profound level, distraction is any of the emotional responses we are sidetracked by — for example, hope for praise and fear of blame, as well as its more subtle manifestations, like being spaced-out, distracted, lost in thought, or worked up.

Since our fundamental problem is distraction, its fundamental solution is to be mindful. There are an infinite number of methods for developing mindfulness that all fall into one of two categories: shamatha or vipashyana. The point of shamatha practice is to make mind malleable. But a pliant mind alone will not uproot samsara completely; we also need to see the truth, which is why vipashyana , or insight, practice is so crucial.

Unfortunately, though, mindfulness is difficult, mostly because we lack the enthusiasm to develop it but also because our habit of longing for distraction is both deeply ingrained and extremely tenacious. It is therefore vital for a dharma practitioner to develop renunciation mind and to recognise the defects of samsara, both of which lie at the core of the Buddhist approach to training the mind.

The masters of the past suggest we should constantly remind ourselves about: the imminence of death; the futility of our worldly activities; and the worst news of all, that there is no end to samsara’s sufferings. Just look around you and you will see that the world never ceases to churn out more and more of the same thing, and that the result is unremitting pain and unbearable suffering. It’s no surprise, then, as the great masters have pointed out, that to maintain mindfulness for as long as it takes to drink a cup of tea accumulates more merit than years of practicing generosity, discipline, and asceticism.

So, i am in a process of compiling reasons why Flash should get rid of WA - feel free to redact , add more and argue with any of the points below.

1. WA is incestous. This is a point that gets most of WAs reeling, because “Barry and Iris don’t see each other as brother and sister”. But.  Barry is adopted into West family after his mother dies and father is arrested, he grows up with Joe and Iris and calls Joe his dad (and the other way around), and they all call each other a family.  I agree, Barry and Iris never acknowledge each other as brother and sister, but Iris’s behavior throughout pretty much all of season 1 confirms she sees Barry only as her nerdy adoptive brother and a friend, but not as a potential boyfriend material.  

As a comparison  : let’s take Alex and Kara from Supergirl. Would you call their pairing incest? I am sure you would. But it is almost exactly the same story as the WA - an orphaned child gets adopted by a family where an adoptive sibling becomes her best friend. The only difference is that Kara and Alex are both females (and yes, as of now Kara is positioned as straight- but judging by the longing looks she gives Lena Luthor, I bet she is a bi).

2. Barry’s obsession with Iris is unhealthy. It is rooted in his deep psychological trauma and loneliness, sort of a coping mechanism for the emotional bubble he ended up in after his mother’s death. He is very isolated when he grows up, and of course he focuses on Iris who is his only friend at that time - and one of a very few sources of emotional support. Once he hits puberty, his connection to Iris turns sexual (while Iris’s doesn’t).

No matter how much you paint his obsession with Iris as cute or romantic or “true love”- it is not.  It is very unhealthy to be so focused on one person (for over a decade! ) that you are incapable of forming a long lasting healthy relationship with another.

3. It is forced. If Eddie hasn’t conveniently kicked the bucket in season 1, WA would not have happened (or would’ve, but much much later down the road).  The whole theory of WA being the true love is pushed on the viewers in form of constant verbal confirmations and “visions from the future” - which to me is not very convincing.  

As a matter of fact, i find it rather disturbing that Iris only starts considering and convincing herself that she loves Barry after she is constantly pushed into it by Barry and Joe (also, I personally find Joe’s fetish shipping of two of his children appalling).

She shows literally no sign of being interested in Barry right until she learns he is the Flash. She is also completely oblivious about his feelings (which i find very hard to believe, esp if they are supposed to be best friends- no one can be THAT blind, esp not a cops daughter and a talented journalist), OR, which i think is more likely- she simply ignores them because she doesn’t feel the same way.

-> a side note- Iris’s “path” to being in love with Barry could’ve been done much more organically. Say, if Eddie didn’t die, but over the time Iris found herself more and more drawn to Barry, eventually breaking up with Eddie on her own accord. But i guess it’s too much to ask of the writers- they’d rather just throw the female character into a relationship cause who cares about her development anyway, right?

4. It brings out the worst in both Iris and Barry.

True love and a perfect relationship should make both sides better, should push them to strive for excellence. But this is the opposite of what we got right after WA becomes canon:

Barry immediately becomes OC and stops caring about pretty much anyone but Iris once he gets into her pants - but this is not the Barry we all fell in love with in season 1. Where is the compassion, where is the comraderie, where is the care he always displayed towards original Starlabs team?

Same happens to Iris. As soon as there is a change of the wind towards WA, she becomes selfish and possessive. Remember that brief moment of mental clarity when Barry decided to try and get over his obsession with Iris? He even started wooing Lynda. But as soon as Iris felt she was loosing Barry’s attention she went on and screwed that relationship up. (And yes, she was verbally supportive of Barry’s relationships- but actions speak louder than words).

As Killer Frost said- As long as you get what you want, it doesn’t matter who gets screwed in the process.

And that’s true for both of them.

5. It lacks chemistry.

This one is probably the most subjective, but for me, personally, WA doesn’t seem to have any romantic chemistry whatsoever. I can compare that to Westhawne that was cute and seemed very organic, or to Snowbarry, that is not yet canon but still sparks fly in every Caitlin-Barry scene, or even to Coldflash (Captain Cold and the Flash)- cause damn, even Captain Cold and Barry have more chemistry than the WA!

I also can’t stop myself from comparing WA to other 2 “iconic” interracial relationships of my 2 fave shows- Bamon (Bonnie and Damon on Vampire Diaries) and Ichabbie (Ichabod and Abbie Mills on Sleepy Hollow), and when i do, WA loses every time.  Where Bamon is fireworks of chemistry, WA is a bland aggregation of romantic cliches; where Icchabie is a perfect example of friendship-turned-to-love and relationship pushing both sides to be better and stronger, WA is a toxic mess that forces both sides to make irrational and costly mistakes. And all that while WA is the only one that is canon.

What a waste of opportunity.

6. It reduced Iris to a useless damsel in distress aka just a prompt for Barry’s storyline.

Where is Iris’s character development? The moment WA got together, Iris lost all her autonomy and any hints of development.

Where is the renown journalist Iris that got even Snart complimenting her? Where is an undercover investigator Iris who got a pulitzer prize for her writing? Where is all of that? Why is Iris reduced to being Barry’s girlfriend? She had so much potential, but now she is nothing more but a prop for Barry’s storyline. She constantly spends time in Starlabs, taking on duties usually done by other characters (esp Caitlin) - when she should be investigating and writing articles.

I am not a big fan of Iris but this is just a waste of a potentially very interesting character, and i don’t understand how WAs can call themselves Iris  fans when they support such a degrading treatment of her by the writers.

Supergirl: The ABCs of Karamel

A is for Attraction.

There is an undeniable chemistry between Kara and Mon-El, which is certainly the doing of Melissa Benoist and Chris Wood. They’ve breathed life into this relationship through their portrayals, and they look to have found that attraction in real life, as well.

B is for Belong.

As in Kara and Mon-El belong together. We’re less than a season into their relationship, and already they’ve convinced us.

C is for Couches.

Somehow Kara’s couch has become Karamel’s “thing,” which is so amazing on so many levels. So many beautiful and significant moments have happened on that couch. Whether it’s been their playful flirting, sizzling make out sessions, or finding comfort in a time of need. Whenever there’s a scene on that couch, you better be paying attention.

D is for Domesticated.

Is there anything cuter than watching these two puppies make each other breakfast? Wait, let’s raise you one: doing the laundry. Despite this hectic world that both Kara and Mon-El are a part of, they manage to flourish in those small moments of domesticity that make our hearts swoon. More please!

E is for Ease.

Perhaps one of the biggest factors in Kara and Mon-El becoming an item is the ease that goes into believing their relationship. I didn’t see their romance coming, but after watching it evolve and watching these two interact every week, there’s just an easiness that comes with their relationship. It’s not forced. It’s not uncomfortable. It’s more than enjoyable.

F is for Forgiveness.

People are far from perfect. And the same goes for Kryptonians and Daxamites. Kara and Mon-El have both proven that they’re capable of getting caught up in things and making mistakes. But perhaps the most important thing is that they’ve both been able to forgive each other. It might take a little time, but forgiveness eventually comes.

G is for Glasses.

Puppies in glasses! Kara and Mon-El might have secret identities when interacting with the outside world, but they don’t have to put those walls up when around each other. But we have to admit, they both look beyond adorable in their “surely-nobody-will-recognize-me-because-I’m-wearing-glasses” glasses.

H is for Happiness.

If you’re not happy, then you’re not living. While Kara has always been an optimistic person who always tries to approach things with a smile on her face, we haven’t seen her this happy in a long time. That smile. That relaxed stance. The words, “I’m happy.” And Mon-El’s happiness speaks for itself. If Kara and Mon-El are happy, then we’re happy.

I is for Inspiration.

Mon-El is far from a perfect person. It’s what makes him so endearing – that he’s trying to become a better version of himself. And he told Kara that she is a big reason why. Not because he wants to be with her (though he does), but because she inspired him to want more. To be the best version of himself. She makes him a better person. In fact, both have found inspiration from each other.

J is for Jealousy.

If there’s one thing that’s incredibly enjoyable as a shipper it’s watching your couple get jealous. Jealousy is a petty emotion, but it makes for some great television. And just like they do with everything else, Kara and Mon-El manage to make jealousy incredibly cute. Because these two are so good, so sweet, it’s like two puppies fighting.

K is for Kryptonite.

We’re speaking of metaphorical Kryptonite, as Mon-El told Kara that she is his. Basically, Mon-El will fall at her knees. She has an incredibly impact of him. Not only has she inspired him to be a better person, but she’s captured his heart in a way no one else has ever done. He’d do anything for her. This might be the one (and only) Kryptonite that we approve of.

L is for Love.

While Kara hasn’t yet said that four letter word, there’s no denying that there’s all the makings of a loving relationship between these two. But hearing Mon-El tell Kara he loves her was as touching as it was heartbreaking (given the circumstances at the time.) But just looking at these two, you can see it in their eyes. It’s just a matter of time.

M is for Musicals.

Whether it’s watching The Wizard of Oz together on the couch or living a real-life musical, musicals have an importance for Karamel. A lie tore them apart, but a musical brought them back together.

N is for Not perfect.

Kara and Mon-El are not perfect. And we could not be more relieved. Because where’s the fun in that? Kara and Mon-El continue to make mistakes and continue to make amends. They show us an accurate portrayal of a healthy relationship (minus the whole alien thing.)

O is for OTP or OTA.

As in One True Pairing or One True Alien. In less than just one season, Supergirl has shown us the makings of OTP and endgame as Kara and Mon-El continue to surprise. They weren’t a ship I saw coming. But as soon as it hit me, I was a goner.

P is for Partners.

Is there anything better than partners in life and in work? I didn’t think so. So it’s a treat to watch Kara and Mon-El be partners out in the field, as well as at home after a long day’s work protecting National City. They have each other’s backs; they support each other. Always.

Q is for Quirks.

Name me a cuter couple with adorable puppy-like cuteness – I’ll wait. That’s what I thought. Kara and Mon-El as individuals have their little quirks that make them beyond endearing and always manage to bring a smile to your face. Together? They’re lethal with their cuteness.

R is for Respect.

While they might disagree from time to time, there’s no denying that Kara and Mon-El respect each other and each other’s decisions. There’s never been a question of that respect. But it’s definitely something that is a strength in their relationship.

S is for Sacrifice.

There’s nothing greater than sacrifice. It’s something that is the ultimate test of a relationship. What are you willing to give up for your significant other? They’ve risked themselves for each other. The fact that Mon-El was willing to sacrifice his happiness to ensure that Kara live, that tells you all you need to know.

T is for Trust.

Despite the small hurdle Kara and Mon-El had to overcome in regards to his origin, there is a deep level of trust between the two. On more than one occasion they’ve had to put each other’s lives in the other’s hands or had to trust that the other was making the right decision.

U is for Understanding.

It’s kind of ironic considering Kara and Mon-El, who hail from warring planets, began their relationship with this prejudice and unwarranted hate. But this season has shown the two be more open to acceptance, and how they’ve developed this understanding of each other. It’s really beautiful.

V is for Verbal.

Kara and Mon-El aren’t afraid to speak their minds. Perhaps that’s why we get so many adorable, little spats between the two as they aren’t afraid to be themselves. It would be easy to keep your feeling inside and eventually develop feelings of spite. Arguing is necessary. Arguing is healthy.

W is for World.

These two mean the world to each other. Kara and Mon-El both save the world and are each other’s world. It’s poetic.

X is for Xs & Os.

All of the hugs and kisses! They’re sweet, they’re heartbreaking, they’re sexy as hell. Supergirl struck gold here with Kara and Mon-El.

Y is for Yearn.

Before Kara and Mon-El became an item, there have been moments where both of them have yearned for the other at some point. Mon-El vyied after Kara’s affections for quite some time, and it was heartbreaking to watch as he opened his soul and she was too scared to accept. But we soon got to see Kara yearn for Mon-El, as well. It’s heartbreaking, but so, so good.

Z is for Zealous.

Kara and Mon-El are still young in their relationship, but there’s already this sense of devotion to each other that makes their bond even stronger. They’re hopelessly devoted… (were you singing that, too?)

- Source Fangirlish by Alyssa Barbieri

I’m honestly still in a state of disbelief that today is the day we begin to say hello to a wedding between two men who were brought together by a fiery, lustful, and desperately dangerous affair, who waded their way through trauma, trepidation, hatred and heartbreak, all while loving every part of each other from the start to the end; every flaw, every strength and every weakness. 

Aaron Dingle, the scruffy, sarcastic, grease monkey mechanic with a tragic past and a huge heart. The man who didn’t ever think he deserved to be loved, who would have rather ended his life than live it to what he thought was repulsed upon, who was so lost in pain and repression of his feelings, not being able to come to terms with the fact he’s gay, so much so that he’d given up on genuinely reaching for light amongst the darkness or ever finding someone to grow old with.

Robert Sugden, the trash mouth materialistic sassy businessman with a brassy demeanour that slowly but surely comes to a halt when someone really takes the time to get to know him, and to care. The man who had always felt like a failure, been shoved aside as an outcast, second best, and left to wallow in the fears of not belonging anywhere. The man who couldn’t bear to accept himself or his sexuality and was living a lie for years. The now redeemed man who really was far from perfect, who’d made often unforgivable mistakes but who tried and is still trying to fix that with that kind, dedicated heart that is underneath.  

These are two soulmates attuned to each other. Two soulmates who slowly grew to find home within each other amongst the business meetings and the fumbles in barns, secret hotels and portacabins. They’ve pushed their buttons to the limit, screwed up and hurt until they can hurt no more but somehow they’ve always ended back in each other’s orbit because it was meant to be. Both the peace and the insanity that had been injected into both their lives since 4th December 2014 lead them to where they are today and this is it, they no longer have to feel alone or astray in the world, wonder if they are loved or worthy enough because they have that family unit staring back at them to reassure them they are united whatever the uncertainty of the future holds. They’ll get through life’s obstacles together, knowing they have that guidance, protection and security. This is what matters the most; two broken souls fixed together to make a whole.

“This isn’t a love story” except it is and it’s every bit wonderful as it is eventful. What a journey. 

Talking Bodies- A Remus Lupin Imagine

A/N: I got this request earlier today and I decided to whip up a little something for it. I don’t know how good it will be, as I tried that different writing style again. Hope you all enjoy, and sorry if there is any mistakes! 

Request from Anon: Can you make a Remus lupin x reader story? Maybe how they hook up at a party and it gets heated up from there?

Warning: SMUT (kinda?)

Originally posted by indiedevils

Eyes met.

They danced.  Twirled around each other from across the room. The low light of the common room setting both eyes aglow. They searched for the perfect moment. The right time in the lull of the party to move. It was a careful dance, a melodic trance both were set under. A push and pull like fire in a swirling wind. Beautiful, but dangerous. If they were not careful, they were sure to get scorned.

Both gorgeous eyes sparkled in the light of the fire they formed. It was as if they were locked in place, unable to break their gaze since they happened upon one another. They both waited for the build. A series of moments that felt like eternity. The exact length of their stare did not matter for her eyes beckoned him. His devoured her.

Keep reading

Finding Miracles

A/U  Alternate ending to season 7  

Notes -  I actually wrote this on request of a fellow shipper, a shipper romantic of heart and hating of how season 7 ended.  And she had a collection of ideas that she wasn’t able to get down in story form.  So she asked me to do it for her. So I did.

 Finding Miracles

 The events of the last couple of days have left me desperately worried about Scully and that worry has driven me to refuse point blank to allow her to come back out to Oregon.

And even as I held her in my arms right there in the corridor outside skinner’s office, all efforts of propriety tossed out the window, no longer afraid that our carefully kept secret would be out, I knew that there was something she wasn’t telling me.

Her assertion that she was exhausted didn’t cut ice with me because in the eight years I have known her, I have seen that woman literally running on empty, so used up that she had nothing left to give, grey with fatigue, stumbling almost blindly beside me, she never ever admitted to anyone, least of all me, that she was too tired to go on.  Never once had I seen her go down in the way she had just a few short days out in the Oregon woods as my heart literally seemed to jump right out of my chest when I had turned around to find she was no longer following me.  That panicked headlong re-tracing of my steps hearing the ragged way I called her name, the barely cloaked desperation born of the realisation that suddenly she was just gone.

And when I burst through the undergrowth to be confronted with the sight of her laying boneless and unmoving on the thick carpet of lush green grass and dead leaves that covered the forest floor, for just one terrible moment my mind told me that she was dead.  So many times she has almost been taken from me, the sight of her down, with no apparent reason, had caused all rational thought to desert me.

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1. she is the light of my life, the hearthfire of this empty space i call a body. her harsh kiss ignites the flames in me; her tender goodbye reminiscent of smoke. she is but a child trapped in the body of a tired woman.

2. she is soft, like snow; and so damn beautiful. her red tendrils bleed down her neck and her eyes pierce us with every lingering glance. her chest rises and falls as i lie next to her; stare deep into the world of sadness behind her eyes. maybe someday there’ll be something called sincerity in this makeshift homeland we call love – but today is not that day.

3. she is no angel, and has yet to earn her wings. red locks turn black and lollipops turn to cigarettes. she dances down dirt roads, a weak woman with a thirst for drugs and love and an appreciation for anyone who will give it to her. she is no longer a child.

4. she grows older, and the bags beneath her eyes are only becoming more present. she watches idly as her life ticks by before her, every second the click of a hand. when the hour bell signs, she is distraught. I cannot save her from this life of greed and disease.

5. I forget sometimes that she is still young, with dirt under her nails and a lifetime of mistakes to look forward to. I lace my fingers with hers and we fall silent; eyes clacking together like something of magnets. in an ideal world, we’d collide. but eventually, we drift apart. we look away.
cowards, both of us.

6. she is the embodiment of perfect imperfection; a fragile character with odd socks and pessimistic demeanour. but the love I hold for her is both brittle and unbreakable at the same time. her bitter kiss is poisonous, and I savour every inch of her; wanting time to pause and for the world to cease its spinning.

but all I have is my tarnished memory. a kiss; so rare and slicing it is but a knife in disguise.

when she kisses me for the first time, I want to remember it as such. a lifetime of boys and girls alike who cherished our bodies but were unable to reach our hearts; and she reaches it in one fell swoop; in one chaste kiss.

later on, when I am old, and she is but a distant memory; I remember this toxic kiss – because it was the only time.

—  she

anonymous asked:

tbh mon el is toxic and abusive and manipulative and just really dishusting. like how dare he appreciate kara? how dare he respect her and her boundries? how dare he tell her he likes her and kiss her wow what a monster :/ the worst and most problematic of it all is how he compliments her and wants her to be safe :/// abusive

Haha exactly!! How dare he care about her safety and feel the urge to protect her?? How dare he respect her feelings and not pressure her into reciprocating his? How dare he admire her like no one else does and think she deserves to be treated like a queen?? How dare he think that she is so good that he feels like he may not deserve her?? How dare he constantly tell her how much it means to him that she believed in him and how much he learned from her?? How dare he make mistakes like everyone else does and then acknowledge them, apologizing and learning from the whole thing??? He sounds horribly abusive, doesn’t he??

But sarcasm aside, anyone who thinks Mon-El is abusive must have never interacted with people in real life. Every single person you become close to will, sooner or later, do or say something that you don’t like or that hurts you. It’s inevitable because people aren’t perfect. That doesn’t mean they’re abusive. Of course, Kara and Mon-El fight and they BOTH say stuff that they don’t mean and they both call each other on their bullshit but ultimately they admire, support and build each other up. They’re also more than capable of admitting they’re wrong, apologizing and growing from the experience so yeah. That’s not abusive. That’s how relationships work and that’s how people learn from each other. 

anonymous asked:

I love the way that theres no antagonist in your fics.The only "evil" thing in the rival series is miscommunication. They both make mistakes and both fuck up but they're both extremely sorry for all that shit. It's so refreshing to see characters acting like people and not perfect humans who never make a mistake .They realize their mistakes and make sure to do better in the future . I tried to phrase that as best as I could but I'm not good with words , sorry 😂

one of the things that I loved about YOI is there was no ‘villian’ and it was definitely something I tried to carry across into Rivals!

Don’t shoot me for this, but…

I feel like some people are putting Robert on a pedestal, and expecting things from him that no real life human being could ever actually reach. Every single person on the planet makes mistakes that they sincerely regret. Every one.

Fictional characters make mistakes, because people just do. And sure, they’re not all as bad as this, but if you expect everyone to always be perfect, you’re going to have a very lonely life. Both boys have messed up. And they both know this. People make mistakes, and Robert is no exception. I refuse to mentally remove the man he’s been for the past 18 months or so for one episode. 

I cannot give up because they’ve shown them both to be human, faults and all. Even if it’s not how I personally would have written it, or what I would have wanted to see for the boys, I’m going to be here, watching and hoping.

Because we wanted messed up forever, and this is what we’re getting. I’m going to be here, watching and rooting for them BOTH.

Until the bitter end. And trust me, we’re not there yet.

anonymous asked:

Flug works on a thingy, we help!


Flug x Reader

A/N: AHHH!! This was such a cute request!! Thanks so much because I really enjoyed writing this one!! I hope you like it!! :3&

“Frustrated” was one word you could have used to describe Flug at the moment you came into the lab.
“On the verge of insanity” probably would have been more accurate though.
A large sigh leaked out from under his bag as he stared, frustrated, at his newest invention: a disguise generator bracelet. Wear it on your wrist, and you could disguise your entire form.

However, for now it was just a jumble of wires mixed with a pounding headache.

You had left the office a half hour earlier and made Flug some Mac and Cheese for dinner. A look of concern crossed over your face as you approached him.

“How’s it going, Flug?” You asked in a soft, hopefully calming voice. No need to put any extra stress on him.

“Do you want the good answer or the real one?” He sighed, you turned your head to one side sympathetically.

“That bad, huh? Well maybe you need a break.” You suggested, pushing the Mac and Cheese toward him. You could see the upturn of his cheeks, even under the bag, but he didn’t reach for the food.

“If I don’t finish this Black Hat is going to kill me.” Flug said, about to go back to the bracelet. You put up a hand to stop him.

“And if you don’t finish this I am going to kill you.” You chuckled kindly, gesturing to the Mac and Cheese, “It’s hard to think on an empty stomach, and I made this special for you.”

Flug nodded in agreement and took the food appreciatively. You sat across from him, listening to him discuss the issues he was having.

“I just don’t understand, y/n.” He finally said between spoonfuls, “I’ve checked the connectors, the projection field, and the casing. No issues there.”

“Well then it really sounds like all that’s left is wiring, Flug.” You said, glancing over to the small device. Flug sighed.

“I’m almost hoping that isn’t the problem.” He said, “The wiring is so intricate and it will take me so long to check and replace everything.”

“Well I can help you!” You smiled as he finished the bowl and handed it back to you. You set it aside for now, listening to Flug talk.

“I suppose it would be faster if you did, b-but I don’t want to make you stay up all night….” Dr. Flug didn’t make eye contact as he spoke to you, just began to stand and revisit his contraption. You smiled widely.

“Do I get to wear a lab coat?” You asked bouncing up and down on your toes.

“I suppose you could, seeing how-” but before he could finish you had already gone and grabbed one of Flug’s spare coats.

Flug chuckled quietly when you walked in with it, and threw you some goggles to “complete the look”. Together the two of you worked all night in painstaking detail. One mistake and you both would have to start over, and as much as Flug enjoyed your company, he knew you needed to sleep too. Regardless to say he was even more on edge to be perfect than normal, knowing your well being was on the line as well as his own.

Neither of you knew what time t was when you finally finished it, but suddenly Dr. Flug had the bracelet wrapped around a small tree so as to test it. Both of you held your breath and a small version of Black Hat appeared in it’s place.

“Y/n it works!!” Flug laughed, hugging you and spinning you in a circle. You laughed too, part from excitement, and
part from seeing the joy in Dr.
Flug’s eyes. Staying up all night had been completely worth it, for this moment right here.

As the two of you celebrated, lost in a world of your own, Demencia trotted into the Lab, falling for the false Black Hat immediately. She tackled the tree with the bracelet still on it and the noise brought you and Flug out of your celebratory trance.

Luckily nothing happened to the bracelet. And once Demencia had been properly kicked out, the two of you placed the working machine into a safe, laughed quietly together again about the whole thing, and proceeded out to lunch for more Mac and Cheese.

Yuzuru Hanyu’s Mentality that Continues to Win.
–article by sports writer Toshimi Oriyama, from magazine ‘文藝春秋 2017年 02 月号’ (published in Jan 2017), translated by me.

(it’s a very long and good article)

Last year, in the figure skating Grand Prix Final (GPF) held in Marseille, France, Yuzuru Hanyu achieved a 4th consecutive victory, something that no one has done before. On the first day, his short programme (SP) was almost perfect and he was in 1st place, then 2 days later, for the free programme (FP), he made some mistakes. But he managed to escape the chase by younger skaters, Nathan Chen and Shoma Uno.

The 22 year-old, who is the Sochi Olympic gold medalist and who has since broken the world records a few times, thought back calmly about GPF 2016.
“As a goal, I am very proud of the 4th straight victory. But I am not satisfied with my performance. I am extremely 'kuyashii’ (frustrated/regretful) about the FP score which was in 3rd place. I did a good performance for SP and I thought if I did a fairly good one for FP, I could aim for world highest score; I need to review this point within myself.”

GPF is the high point of the first half of the season. It is a competition that shows the world’s best, similar to World Championship of the 2nd half. Hanyu’s 4th victory puts him on par with the 'emperor’ Evgeny Plushenko (Russia). However, for Hanyu, instead of the joy of victory, he felt more of the regret that he 'could not do a convincing performance’. And this ambition and hungriness is the mentality that is the source of Hanyu’s strength.

2010, Hanyu won the World Junior Championship, and the next season, he moved to the senior competitions. From that time, his supple and graceful performances already had a charm and the beauty of his jumps had a good reputation. Then, in 2011, in his hometown of Sendai, the Great East Japan Earthquake struck; that painful experience and recurring thoughts like “I think I will not be able to skate again” surely led him to grow as a person.

However, to possess that special mental strength to be able to stand at the highest point at the Olympics and to continue winning after that, there were 3 other turning points.
The presence of Patrick Chan (Canada) who was called 'the absolute champion’.
The 'kuyashii’ (regretful) gold medal at Sochi Olympics.
The accident at 2014 Cup of China.

Hanyu’s mental strength that could be seen in glimpses from the time of his debut, the 2013-2014 season added 'calmness’ and a 'spirit of study’ to that.
The year before, he had moved to the Cricket Club in Canada to train under Brian Orser and his abilities continued to blossom.
And there was a rival who was a big impetus for him. 3-time World champion Patrick Chan who also won GPF twice and was acknowledged to have the best skating skills in the world, plus huge battle strength on the big stage.

Hanyu faced Chan in 2 GP series competitions in 2013. The 1st one was Skate Canada where his score was lower than Chan’s by 27 points and the 2nd one was Trophee Eric Bompard where the gap was 32 points. He was 2nd place in both competitions and you could say it was a crushing defeat.

But these 2 straight losses caused Hanyu to change. Especially Chan’s clean performances at Trophee Eric Bompard that hit record scores for both SP and FP, “it was a trigger for me to look at my own abilities objectively”.
“I had nothing but respect and admiration for Patrick’s perfect performance. But at that competition, if both Patrick and I did perfect performances, I knew clearly how much of a gap there would be, and that made a big impact. At that time, I would have lost by about 5 points.”

No matter how perfectly he himself skated, there was a difference in the difficulty of jumps, the level of programme components and such; the reality was that if the opponent does not make mistakes, he (Hanyu) would lose. That was thrusted clearly at him in the form of results.
“To cover the gap between Patrick and me, there was a need to increase PCS. To do that, I had to relook at /improve my skating skills which is the foundation, and I had to be more aware of maintaining my expressive abilities during the run-through practice of the physically demanding programme. In addition, I had to get points for spins and steps, and higher GOE for jumps, I thought about all these things.”

Being conscious of the specific scores, having a strategy in the programme, he also came to have a deeper understanding of the meaning behind the practice that Coach Orser laid out for attaining high scores.

Also, he got a hint for his own growth from the words that Chan said.
During the press conference after the competition, sitting next to him, Chan was explaining in detail to the reporters how he was mindful about the way he used his body to express the music. Hanyu listened and “it was a good reference for my own performance”. After moving to Toronto, he had started learning English, so he probably understood the words between Chan and the reporter.

Hanyu at that time was only 19 (t/n. it was just before his 19th birthday). I have interviewed many athletes, not just figure skaters. But at press conferences of international competitions where foreign reporters overwhelm, even I feel that the nervousness is very pressurising. To turn that situation into a “learning area”, that 'spirit of desire’ deserves special mention.

When he received that impetus from Chan, at the same time there were words that made one feel the power of Hanyu’s inquiring mind. “Surrounded by reporters and being interviewed on-the-spot is useful,” he said.
“After a competition, media people surround me; in the exchange that I have with reporters, I can look back at my performance and talk about it right after I finish performing. I like to analyse my own performance, so it is very stimulating to have questions flying at me from various view points, and also, it enables me to think in a way that’s different from before. Interviews become a place for learning.”

Even veteran athletes find it hard to say something like this. It clearly shows his youth, and stemming from it, his frankness and inquiring mind.

The result of the impetus and learning points from Chan was seen quickly, at the GPF merely 3 weeks after the crushing defeat at Eric Bompard. Hanyu rewrote the world’s highest score for SP that was previously held by Chan, and his FP score was also his personal best. His total score was 13 points more than Chan and he won his first senior GPF.

Using the gold medal

Maintaining that energy/momentum was the key to the Olympic stage 2 months later.

His SP was a masterpiece and, for the 1st time in history, the score went above 100. He was in 1st place with 101.45. But for the FP, he fell at the 4S and 3F. He thought Chan who was 2nd after SP, would overtake him to be the winner. However, Chan also made mistakes and the result was that Hanyu won the gold medal.

“When I finished my performance, I thought the gold medal was not possible anymore. The failure of my FP made me realise the fearfulness of the Olympics, and I also felt the weight of the Olympics. I don’t know why but somehow my body could not move at all.”

The Olympic stage that’s once in 4 years. Participating for the first time and suddenly, he stood right at the top. Winning the first figure skating men’s gold medal for Japan, Hanyu decided immediately after that he would continue to evolve.

“In these next 4 years from now on, the pressure and the attention from the media and such, I think there will be a lot more of these extra things following me. In competitions, judges will not give me a higher evaluation just because I am an Olympic champion. How others see me does not matter. I myself must give a performance that’s worthy of a champion and really receive a gold medal evaluation. In this sense, I must make use of the position of 'Olympic Champion’. Because it is a chance for me to keep putting pressure on myself. Like telling myself, 'Oi, show us an Olympic champion-like performance! Hanyu Yuzuru, show some growth!’ (laughs)”

Then, the performance that left regrets on the Olympic stage, it became the will and desire to move forward to the next step. Thinking back, he said,
“For the FP at Sochi, if I had landed the quad salchow and done a no-miss performance, I would very likely be dragged by the Olympic champion result. Precisely because the Sochi gold medal was one that was carrying regretful thoughts, that’s why the present me exists. I got the Olympic gold medal at such a young age, and in addition, I received some problems to work on. As an athlete, this was really a lavish situation.”

A shocking collision

The season after Sochi, just as he said, he grew further, stepping his foot into unknown territory.
To prepare for the coming era of quads, he put a 4S and two 4Ts in his FP, and one of the 4T was in the 2nd half where more points would be given. To get used to this, he also put a 4T in the 2nd half of his SP. He spoke about the objective.
“It’s also preparation/groundwork for incorporating other kinds of quad jumps in future.”

However, his efforts met an unexpected setback at the 1st competition of the season, Cup of China (CoC). In the 6 minute warm-up before FP, there was an accident; he and Han Yan of China crashed into each other.
Blood could be seen dripping from Hanyu’s head (t/n. his chin) and there were screams from the audience. Coach Orser quickly called the doctors (t/n. U.S. team doctors came to help). After checking him, the doctors said there were no signs of concussion, but people around him told him not to skate.

However, Hanyu was stubborn. “I will skate.”

Orser reluctantly sent him into the rink, but of course, it was not the performance (that was planned). His whole body was battered and there was no strength, he fell a total of 5 times. What was pushing him on was his will power alone.
After this, he continued to compete until GPF, but the venture to make his performance one rank higher had to be shelved.

At the end of the year, due to intermittent abdominal pain, he went to the hospital for a checkup. He was found to have Urachal Remnant Disorder and underwent surgery. After that, he needed to rest and recover for one month. When he started to train again, he sprained his right ankle. Due to all this, he was 2nd in the World Championship that he was aiming for a 2nd straight victory. Even though he had a 2nd straight win at GPF, to him it was a year of stagnation.

After Worlds, he looked back on the season that was troubled by many accidents.
“The injuries and illnesses were hard on not only the body but on the mind/spirit as well. But even under those circumstances, I could at the very least leave some results; to me this experience was not not totally negative.
For the accident at CoC, there was insufficient attention on my part, so it triggered a re-looking at the way I entered into the competition, including the way I manage my body condition. And also, more than anything else, the way I was supported by my coaches and the people around me, it was a season where I felt it even more deeply than the Olympic season. All these experiences will be a plus in my competitive skating life, and also in my 2nd career after I retire.”

He also thought about the development of figure skating as a competitive sport. Based on his own accident, he said, “figure skating is a sport with an element of danger that can be a risk to life –that this is known to more people is a plus to the development of the sport.”  He also said he was happy that it gave rise to a tide of thoughts on what is necessary to prevent concussions and other life-threatening accidents.

No matter what 'minus’ elements there are, he transforms them into 'plus’, seizes them and looks ahead. As a reporter, this attitude of his amazes me from time to time.

Even when he is bleeding from his head, he is determined that he must go on with the competition; it was also due to the pride that comes because of achieving the title of Olympic champion (t/n. 'pride’ in the positive meaning). Hanyu very naturally has that on him.

The next season, 2015-2016, Hanyu once again challenged the programmes with a quad in the 2nd half.

In the 1st competition, Skate Canada, he was too conscious of the “quad in 2nd half” and made some unthinkable mistakes. As a result, he lost to Chan who had just returned from a year of rest.

However, it was different from before. Chan’s programme layout was lower in difficulty than his own, and he lost to Chan’s 'safe driving’ performance. It made him check/confirm if the direction and path that he was going was correct.
“Seeking even greater evolution is what is most like me.”

For his SP, in exchange for not having a quad in the 2nd half, he put 2 quads in the first half, 4S and 4T, making it even more difficult.
No matter what, he wants to challenge himself and this also raised his concentration power.  At the next competition, he scored 322.40, the first above-300 points in history. And then at GPF, he broke his own records with 330.43. With difficult programmes and clean performances back-to-back, it was a stunning victory over rivals Chan and Fernandez.

Storming through the 300-mark which no one has even touched before, Hanyu’s mental aspect has also reached that high level which normal people cannot comprehend.

“At Sochi Olympics, my free skate performance failed. When I finished, I thought 'the gold medal is gone’. And at that moment, I realised, 'ah, so I was conscious of the gold medal and I was nervous’. This time, that experience at Sochi was put to good use. Before entering the venue, I was aware that I was thinking 'I want to surpass 300 points’. So first, I acknowledged that I am thinking about that and putting pressure on myself, and then, 'if so, I have to do this’ and I think I controlled well my mental state.”

In a situation of being closely chased, the strength to look at himself calmly brought forth a spectacular feat.

For the 2016-2017 season, he decided on new challenges, having a quad loop in both SP and FP and a layout that’s more difficult. When 2016 started, the pain in his left foot (t/n. lisfranc injury) became worse, and after Worlds, even walking was not allowed and this restriction period continued for one and a half months. But in spite of that, he still aimed for further evolution.

Connection with the audience

But it was also an inevitable decision. The previous season, Boyang Jin (China) had 3 types of quads, including the most difficult (of the quads jumped til now) quad lutz, and 6 quads in total for SP and FP and he was 3rd in Worlds. Then Shoma Uno did the world’s 1st quad flip in the Team Challenge Cup in April.

Hanyu himself opened up the frontier of 300 points. Rising young skaters have quads as weapons to challenge him. And it’s not just about having quads, it is about the number of quads and how well they are done; this era of competition has come.

This season, in addition to jumps and layout, Hanyu is widening his range of expression. This can be said as his real value/ ability.

His SP is Prince’s 'Let’s Go Crazy’. It’s rock music that brings to mind his Sochi Olympics SP 'Parisienne Walkways’. FP is 'Hope and Legacy’ which is a combination of 2 pieces of piano music from Joe Hisaishi that Hanyu likes very much. They are 2 contrasting types of music. SP is an uptempo music that Hanyu is very good at; FP piano music has a rhythm and sounds that are harder to grasp for jump timing.
Having 2 completely opposite types of music was for raising his own expressive abilities. At GP Final which he won for the 4th consecutive time, he spoke of being aware of a 'connection with the audience’.

“This season’s SP, I am performing it like a rock star having a live concert, so it’s a programme that is not possible without the audience. In France (GPF), the audience also became very excited and it was very fun. Then for the FP, I could perform while feeling the music with my whole body. It’s different from the SP, it’s not a programme where the audience becomes more and more excited and clap and go WA!!! But during the performance, I could feel the gaze of the audience, and when I did my jumps, I could see there were people praying for me. I connected with the audience, in other words, our feelings became one, and I felt this happiness.”

Something that is in the beat and the meaning of the lyrics of Prince; abandoning yourself to the piano music of Joe Hisaishi and feeling the wind, the trees, the air and other things of nature. Sharing with the audience the world that you express through skating, wanting to create a programme that’s like having a conversation with the audience – that is one of the complete forms of figure skating which is sports and also art.

From TV and books etc, Hanyu studies the ways of thinking of athletes from other sports and reflects them in skating. He often says that this is his weapon. Recently, gymnast Kohei Uchimura who won a consecutive victory at Rio Olympics said, “I had to win, it was good.” Words in which you could feel the heavy pressure on someone who stood at the top, those words left a deep impression on him. Without being imprisoned by existing boundaries, he wants to pursue figure skating further and further, this is his thinking.

“Receiving the programmes from the choreographer, integrating jumps into it and performing it, that is my job/work. When all the jumps are completed beautifully, then it can be called a real performance. That is why I am so regretful (kuyashii); while adding in a new quad and doing a layout that’s more difficult than last season, I am still not able to make a new personal best score this season. If I speak my true feelings, I want to raise my scores and become the Yuzuru Hanyu that no one can catch.”

For his own growth, for figure skating as a sport, his desire/greed never fades, and this is his true strength as a skater. And it can also be said that this is why he makes us feel that for him there are infinite possibilities.

– original article by sports writer Ms.Toshimi Oriyama;  very sorry if I didn’t translate it well enough. 

In defense of Drarry (Why they are compatible)

Draco shows signs of being interested in Potter and Harry gives in to him and returns that as well. It’s hard to ship Harry and Draco together because they are very complicated and complex. Their relationship is the most challenging one because they have to face many obstacles. To understand how they would work out together, one must really look at the clear picture and be open to the idea of male/male together because if someone isn’t then he/she wouldn’t even try to consider the possiblity of the two together or any other characters. Those people tend to focus more on the negatives then the positives and that’s another main factor why people can’t stand Harry/Draco as a couple. There are others as well but that is just one example. Harry and Draco have mixed signals towards each other because each of them thinks one thing which means another. For the relationship to work out, they need to communicate one on one more and just the two of them alone without any interruptions.

Harry and Draco are very similar but yet so different as well. A relationship can’t work if two people are the same because it requires some minor differences too. Ever heard the saying, “No two people are alike?” Harry may get along with other’s and share some similarities and differences here and there but the point is, no one is the same as another person even if they do have things in common. Each and every individual is their own person. There are more differences between two people then similarities. Harry and Draco may not even think for one second they share the same interests and that’s different from how the readers view that as. They are fictional characters who think something which may or may not be true without realizing it and then the readers can pick up on whats goes on and such. Another thing, a relationship can’t be interesting if the couple has only similarities and no differences, none for that matter. Being too alike is just boring and not fun.

Although one is Halfblood and the other pureblood it still isn’t much of a big difference. Pureblood and Halfblood are pretty close if you ask me. Draco’s behavior is the direct result of his parents ignorance and racism. That’s how he was raised to act. From the second a person is born the parents take control and action. It’s their responsibility to teach the kid right from wrong or one way over the other. Anything they say or do is going to have an effect on him/her later on as they get older. Draco’s parents did not do him justice instead the total opposite. Harry’s parents on the other hand died while he was just a baby and they couldn’t really do anything to help him in any way. shape or form. He was placed into the home of the Dursley’s who hate his parents and him. They didn’t really pay him much attention. Harry has many choice’s of his home and Draco can’t pick and choose because he has to do everything his parents expect him to because of their selfish reasons and poor attitude. You think Draco wanted to turn into a bully? No way, that wasn’t his decision. He wanted things done differently. If he could go back and change something it would be his lifestyle and parents. Harry has people who are close to him such as the Weasleys and Hermione and that’s about it. Sirius and Dumbledore died so he lost them and they were like his family. Draco has no real friends and family support which is sad because he can’t discuss his problems with anyone and get help when he needs it. He is alone in the world.

Anyone who fights against Voldemort and wins victories is considered a miracle, not lucky. He is the most powerful wizard of all time. Sometimes I think Voldemort doesn’t even give his best to kill Harry. Maybe he wants Harry to live. Again, Draco doesn’t only have one side to him and I don’t like when people only think that. Deep down Draco has a side to him none of us have ever seen and the characters. He has a completely different personality. He wants to hold loyalty to the Malfoy name and obey his parents to make them satisfied and happy. He can’t do anything he wants for himself because that would be betraying his whole family and that’s not something he wants either. So he is stuck. Harry has freedom and an open mind because no is able to control him and tell him “I want you to do this and that” he doesn’t have any restrictions. Harry also has no rules to follow. Draco has Totalitarian parents who tell him what’s necessary and what isn’t. Harry doesn’t take dislike in Draco because he saved him from the fire and that’s risking your life for some you supposively claim to not like. He may dislike Draco but not hate him and vice versa. There is a big difference. Draco has other qualities then just one. Keep that in mind.

Being a slytherin or Gryffindor has nothing to do with whether or not Draco or Harry dislike each other. From the beginning, Draco wanted Harry’s friendship but received a rejection instead which started the rivalry. If it hadn’t been for that one incident then everything happening between them now wouldn’t be. There would be a different type of relationship. If Draco hadn’t insulted Harry’s friends and people he loves then Harry and Draco would have become friends despite the houses their in. Growing up in different houses has nothing to do with how they treat other people. Draco grew up with a wealthy family and gets everything he wants and Draco has been locked up in a cell his whole life and didn’t have the opportuniy to do any activities. He was always treated unfairly and abused emotionallly and mentally. Draco gets thing handed to him as long as he does such and such. So just because they also have different hair color they can’t work? That is the most stupidest thing I have ever heard along with the mention of the house thing. They do have similarities. Both are in connection with Voldemort. Harry didn’t couldn’t choose to not be the-boy-who-lived and Draco coudln’t choose to not join the dark side. Both play quidditch. Both have the same classes. Both know how to fly. Both are the same age and gender. Both have a difficult life. Both know how to ride a blue. Both of them fear something. Those are just a few of many.

Draco doesn’t intend to be mean. It just happens. A part of who he is. Being a Malfoy is not an easy task. He doesn’t want to disappoint his parents and or betray them because that in his case would be considered wrong. Sometimes in life, things don’t always go as planned. He insults people because Harry didn’t befriend him in first year because if he had then he probably wouldn’t be like this. Harry would have become his friends if Draco didn’t throw the insults at the people Harry loves and cares about a lot. The results would be different. He is a human being who makes mistakes. Besides, Harry himself is not perfect either. Both of them have faults and fears which is normal for everyone. Neither is better then the other. Both of them are equals and have a very powerful dynamic. The only person who can truly influence Draco in a positive way is no one other then Harry because everything Harry tells Draco he takes to heart and vice versa. They cause each other to react with emotions and feeling something no one else is capable of getting them to do. They are rivals not enemies. They are extremely competitive with each other and their relationship is intense to the point when it’s enough. They just don’t know when to quit. Perhaps this is a game they have been playing from the start.

There is so much Harry/Draco subtext in the books from “Harry hadn’t been less interested in Quidditch, he was rapidbly becoming obsessed with Draco Malfoy” to “Harry you are a bit obsessed with Malfoy to "I wan’t to see what Draco is doing inside you” those are just three examples. There are more from the first book and so on all the way to the last book and it just keeps building up. Instead of saying obsessed it could have been something like, “Harry wanted to discover the truth about Draco Malfoy” to give us the impression he isn’t stalking him or following him around. It could have been worded differently. We already know the only reason Harry even became obsessed with Draco is because he wanted to find the truth about Draco’s plot to kill Dumbledore. The point is he is obsessed. That’s a canon fact whichever way one looks at it. The attraction is noticeable only to those who are more open minded and want to look for some evidence. It’s all written in between the lines. That requires focus. Harry and Draco do not only lack Mutual disdain. One minute they are fighting and the next there is a moment. As for the attraction thing, Draco is more obvious when it comes to that and Harry shows it through his actions. They are clearly infatuated with each other and give each other a lot of attention. Harry and Draco know more about each other then they do about other people.

That’s the one thing I hate when people refer to Harry as the Hero who saves people because he is Harry Potter the-boy-who-lived. He can’t save everybody because that’s highly impossible. If it were possible then no one would be dead. If Harry really loathes Draco then he would have let him burn in the fire and die. He did not save Goyle but instead saved Draco. Goyle died in the fire and Harry could have easily risked his life for Goyle but no, he went after Draco. Harry and Draco are nothing without each other. Everything they know now is because they found each other. They overpower each other with words. They both know how to get under each other’s skin. It’s like a cycle repeating over and over again to no end. Now Peter Pettigrew is an entirely different story. This isn’t about him but if it were then Harry probably saved his life too because he used to be an old friend of his parents even though he did betray them which hurt Harry. He felt bad about the whole situation, Peter did. Draco/Harry relationship is intriguing and intoxicating. It’s like an addictive drug. Harry and Draco need each other for many reasons. They complete each other beyond comprehension. They can sense each other’s presence and know how to start a commotion and make a scene. They don’t even try because when they are around each other, it all comes naturally. No one tells them to argue, they just do it. They can’t even be away from each other.

They only insult each other because they can’t really express how the other feels especially when they are surrounded by so many people a day. They don’t even have any alone time, barely. Harry and Draco have to say everything that’s expected due to their houses who want to hear the negative rather then the positive. People spend most of their time listing and focusing on Draco’s Negative characteristics instead of taking into consideration the positives. Draco is not only one person. He has a different personality deep within himself which he isn’t allowing himself to show. We never get hear Draco’s point of view and a glimpse into his mind to see how he truly feels. People just disregard that. Their relationship is very developed because it kept getting stronger each year and it changes throughout. In this relationship you can always expect the unexpected. Harry and Draco are unpredictable. No one knows whats going to happen. The relationship is exciting and anticipating. Harry is the only person who can cause Draco to change for the better and vice versa.

A relationship needs committment, determination, loyalty, respect, honesty, love, care and an understanding. Harry and Draco shouldn’t change for each other but remain who they are. The only think Draco would need to do in order to be Harrie’s partner is to apologize to his friends and everyone he loves. The apology needs to be convincing and rael. It will take a long time before all those people can forgive him but they will know he did it. He should first start with Harry because he is the main target. Then move his way from there. Harry and Draco are possible. Nothing is impossible. I believe Draco and Harry would have a beautiful relationship if they did get together or do. People seem to underestimate them. They have so much potential.

anonymous asked:

So I think Batcat is the best couple in DC, I feel like they're the power couple, they are nothing like other couples in the DC comics universe. So I've got a question, do you think they're the perfect couple because....? I can't begin to explain why I think they're perfect so why do you find them so perfect?

If you’re asking why I think Batman and Catwoman have such a great relationship you can check out some of my meta posts here and here and here and here.

If you’re asking why I ship batcat more than any other ship: I don’t know man. I don’t even remember how it happened and sometimes I wish I didn’t. It’s tough being this emotionally invested in something when the consensus seems to be that there’s a limit to how far this relationship will go. Sometimes I wish I had imprinted on a ship with a more concrete endgame status. Sometimes I wish I shipped clois the way I ship batcat. It’s not always easy but at least they get to move in together and get married and have kids and bathtub scenes together, and I don’t think we’ll ever get any of that with Batman and Catwoman.

It’s not that I think they have a perfect relationship; I just happen to think it’s really real. Batman and Catwoman are both really flawed characters that have both done some really fucked up things, and they’re both self-loathing in their own way. Batman is defined by trauma, Catwoman doesn’t always think that she’s a good person, they both think that they’re so messed up and have made so many mistakes that they don’t expect or even think that they deserve love or to be happy. Yet they found just that in each other and I think that’s really beautiful. They both have qualities and characteristics that are lacking in other, provide each other with what they need, and make each other happy and I think that’s what love is. I don’t even think that their relationship was intentionally written that way, but that’s what it developed into. I guess I ship batcat categorically more than any other ship because to me it symbolizes that love can exist in any darkness and that everyone deserves love.

I’m a Survivor (Part 10 - The End)

Bucky x Reader

Summary – The reader is more of a scholar/lab rat (highly intelligent, knows something about everything and maybe a bit of a know-it-all). She prefers the shelter Stark Tower offers her rather than joining in on the action whenever there’s a new mission. Fury knows she once got beaten up pretty bad, even ended up in the hospital, and gives her a pass each and every time (the others don’t mind but are a bit disappointed). She has been on guard ever since, ashamed of her scarred body and counting her blessings ‘cause she’s still alive. But when she finds herself all alone in the tower yet again, she decides that something needs to be done and asks Bucky for some lessons in self-defense.

Requested by Annelies @hellomissmabel

Warnings – Violence, death, stabbing, blood, allusions to torture, and most importantly… fluff

Word Count – 1,664

Notes – I can’t believe that this is the end!  I have loved writing this fic so much!  I just want to thank Annelies yet again for trusting me with this amazing idea!  It’s been a long journey (over 2 ½ months), and we’ve had some ups and downs along the way. I’m happy with where she ended up and I hope you agree!  Feel free to let me know what you think, feedback is always appreciated.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  – The End


Originally posted by stuckyghost


You cautiously approached the open door, straining to hear the conversation between the men in the room. You were almost to the door when the sound of screaming made you freeze.  It was a woman’s voice, you were sure of that.  Then you heard the laugh.  You would have recognized that laugh anywhere.

Fear coursed through your veins as a trickle of sweat ran down your spine.  You were instantly taken back to your own darkened room, your screams echoing off the walls, his evil laugh filling your ears.  Fury had said he was dead, he’d said he’d put a bullet in his chest himself.  How was he here?  How was he alive?

You stood frozen for what felt like an eternity, but in reality was only a few seconds.  You closed your eyes and pictured the faces of your teammates, of Fury, of Bucky.  Digging deep, you found your courage.  When your eyes opened, they were full of rage and a fire that had been burning in you for one very long year.  This was your chance to get your revenge.

Present Day

You made your way to the door as silently as you could.  Peering around the corner, you made out the figures of three men and a woman strapped to a table.  It was only a quick glance, but you definitely recognized the tall man in the white lab coat, a scalpel in his hand.  A fresh wave of panic washed over you upon seeing him.  An internal war raged within yourself.  Part of you wanted to run as far away as you could, but another part, the part you had fought so hard to build back up, refused to back down.

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anonymous asked:

This is a bit silly but I love how you make it very clear that both victor and yuuri made mistakes in the relationship. It's so easy to say Victor should apologize; that he hurt yuuri first when he was a child, and jumped to conclusions about the pills. It's also easy to say that yuuri caused so much pain to victor (especially after chpt2), and that he should be groveling at Viktor's feet or smth. But you made it clear both of them made mistakes, and need to move on. Thanks for clarifying that!

Their relationship throughout Rivals is definitely very complicated and they both make a lot of mistakes but in life no one person is perfect and no one person is completely to blame. Everyone holds some degree of responsibility and I really wanted to carry that over into the fic. The important part isn’t whose ‘fault’ it was but learning from what happened, apologizing, forgiving and moving on