“You do know that you don’t have to force your roommates to look after me, right?” Even’s voice was light as he took careful sips of hot cider, eyeing Isak out of the corner of his eye. The two boys strolled along the city square, Isak insisting that they spend a little more time in the muted sunlight before going home.
Isak spluttered innocently, “That’s not what I’m doing.”
Even stole a bite of Isak’s kebab. “Isak- I played Yahtzee with Eskild and he made me watch a movie about the birth of dolphins.”
“Maybe he just wanted to hang out with you?” Isak’s voice was uncertain, clearly gasping at straws to retain his innocence. When Even remained unconvinced, Isak sighed. “I just didn’t want you to think that I was leaving you alone.”
Even was quiet as they continued to stroll without a clear destination in mind. He could slowly feel himself coming out of his depression induced haze- his emotions were sharpening, sleep lessening little by little. It was relieving because he didn’t know how much longer he could do this to Isak without the guilt crushing him.
Isak. The boy who stayed with him. The man of his life- his fucking universe. He came back to him and has stayed with him and remained the one constant in Even’s down period. He was trying, putting in a herculean effort to make Even feel that there was nothing wrong with, that Isak loved him.
Isak loved him. He hadn’t said it in so many words, but why else would Isak stay with such a broken boy?
Even slowed the two to a stop with a gentle hand on Isak’s arm. “I love you. You know that right?”
A hint of a smile at Isak’s beautiful bowed lips, “I know.”
Even nodded slowly and raised his arm to wrap carefully around Isak’s thin frame. “Good. I don’t want you to think that how I am now- it’s not me. I mean, it is a part of me, but I don’t want-”
“Chill,” Isak says, pinching Even’s sides. “I know you. The real you. Every bit of you. And this? This is nothing. It’s a couple of bad days to add to our countless good days.”
Even smiles and it feels odd on his face, “Countless good days, huh? And do we have countless more to look forward to?”
Isak scoffs and pulls them to continue walking, “Of course. And the best will be our wedding day. You said something about mini burgers being served?”
A small laugh, “I did say that, didn’t I?” He sobers, “Isak, you know that this part of me isn’t going to go away right? It will happen again.”
Isak sighs and stops them again, “What did I tell you? We are taking it minute by minute. And in this minute, I want to enjoy walking down the street with you. Okay?”
Even nodded, and leant down to kiss the younger boys head.