they are all for you

concept: yuuri has freckles + victor discovers them and falls even more in love with him 💕 💕 (redbubble)

i keep forgetting that kravitz was a villain during crystal kingdom. the concept is so fucking funny to me. he’s too gay for this? he’s so incredibly gay that he lost the biggest bounty he’s ever hunted? like. this boy has a shitty accent. he’s a fucking nerd. his fatal flaw is literally that he’s too gay. he falls in love with the elf he’s supposed to be hunting. and he’s the most lawful good character on the show! it’s so easy to forget that at one point he chased the boys around with a scythe. i’m sorry, krav, you were never cut out for villiany, you’re just too fucking gay.

DM: As you go to leave the inn, the door opens before you, and a woman enters through. She seems very distraught, and is crying.

Wizard: I ask her what the matter is.

DM: She explains to you that about a week ago, her boyfriend was out in the forest, before he was seemingly taken by monsters.

Wizard: Well, can we he-

Bard (Me): I roll to seduce her.

Rogue: She has a boyfriend!

DM: Roll for Persuasion.

*Nat 20*

Bard: You don’t need no man.

DM: The woman realizes that, indeed, she doesn’t need a man when there’s a woman as…beautiful as you before her. So, you…have a girlfriend now, I suppose.

Bard: Score.

Bards with ludicrously high charisma

Context: A one off practice quest with a newer bard(tiefling). They have a charisma of 20 so they really like to seduce everything. So naturally it leads to this

Me(DM): So you want to seduce the bandit leader

Bard: Yes 

Me: So I rolled a 1 so anything you roll will seduce

Bard: I rolled a 20. Soo does that mean I super seduced them.

Me: Unfortunately Yes

Later after dying and going to god:

Me: you stand before god facing his almighty eternal judg,,,,,,

Bard: I seduce him

Me: Fine. Roll

Bard: I got a 20

Me: I hate you with all of my heart

After being resurrected by god and dying again and going to hell:

Me: You face Lucifer and prepare to face your eternal…..

Bard: Imma seduce him.

Me : No

Bard: i rolled a 17

Me: I hate you soo much

Bard: He’s my Hell fire Daddy

This I why I hate bards.