they all tried to make the cake

1d as prisoners

harry: sells bracelets that he makes with macaroni which he stealthily takes from the kitchen (asks for them politely) for a quarter , best friends with all of the officers

zayn: requested to be moved to solitary the second day of his sentence

liam: pumps iron in the yard, terrible at basketball but thinks hes the best at basketball, punched a guy who tried to shank him and then apologized to him for 20 consecutive days

niall: was once fined heavily for consuming every snack cake in commissary, has family members smuggle him blonde hair dye during visitations

louis: often called “small but deadly”, doesn’t have a bunkmate because the last one was so afraid of him, wears 20 macaroni bracelets under the sleeves of his jumpsuit

Bnha dorm head canons

So with posting the rooms and whatnot, I finally noticed the kitchen next to the lounge. And I really wish showed a bit more how meals go in the manga but-

- Everyone labels their food. There’s often fights about missing food

- Mineta guards all his food by putting balls on them. Which gets really annoying because the others can’t get them off their own stuff if they happen to touch

- Someone keeps eating Bakugou’s cereal and he throws a fit every time. It’s become a running joke for the class to make sure he never finds out who it is (it’s Kaminari)

- Yaoyorozu and Todoroki tried making dinner together once, but they had no clue what they were doing and caught several things on fire. Todoroki panicked and froze half the kitchen

- While Sato normally bakes in his room, he sometimes bakes something in the kitchen for everyone to share

- Ashido once took half of the cake without anyone noticing until it was too late

- Bakugou is banned from the kitchen when someone else is cooking because he gets frustrated if they’re doing something wrong and tries to take over

- Midoriya, Uraraka, Tokoyami, Kirishima, and Jirou are the people that are for some reason in the kitchen at 3 AM for a snack

- Iida hates the kitchen because it’s always so unorganized and “For the love of god, CLEAN UP AFTER YOU MAKE SOMETHING!”

- Uraraka tried making pasta once at 4 AM, but she spilled all the noodles on the ground

-Todoroki walked into the kitchen and was very confused because she was just laying on the floor with a defeated look on her face, surrounded by noodles

- Shoji is the best for breakfast foods. Sure it’s just simple things like eggs and toast, but he does it so well

- They made popcorn for a movie night, but not the bagged kind. The dump kernels into a machine let the popcorn pop out into a bowl kind

- Problem is: Kirishima poured in WAY to many kernels so the class had to fill all the bowls they had with popcorn. And still a good portion ended up on the floor

- Tsuyu is one of the few besides Bakugou who can cook well. But since she has younger siblings, her cooking is more geared towards kids (Micky Mouse pancakes, sandwiches cut into triangles, ect.)

- since they’re free to eat whenever on weekends, it’s common for friend groups to meet up at the same time to eat, everyone has some sort of unofficial schedule

- Somehow Tsuyu and Bakugou ended up in a cooking compitetion (she really didn’t want to be, but everyone was so pumped for it). Sero filmed the whole thing while Ashido and Kirishima played the announcers, holding up cooking utensils as mics

- “Bakugou is getting fired up!!! Is the pressure getting to him?!” “But man, look at Tsu go! She’s hardly breaking a sweat!”

- They kept going around from student to student, asking who they were rooting for “So who’s your pick to be the NEXT Class 1-A chef champion?!”

- Tsu wins and Bakugou doesn’t leave his room for the entire weekend

The boy, he dies at the end.

He’s written the spoiler right on the first page, like a shit, and he’s ghastly. He really is. Only- of course he isn’t. Quite the opposite. She uses the book to hit him in the chest. He laughs.

You’re the worst gift giver in the world, she informs him. He waggles his eyebrows, and she’d kiss him if Sirius wasn’t here. You two should kiss, Sirius says through a mouthful of crisps, looking on with mild interest. James shoves him sideways and then does, in fact, kiss her. He tastes like tea and mint.

The boys wear party hats all round London. Remus has five coffees, Peter loses his scarf to the wind and Sirius throws away a twenty pound note because he thought it was a very poorly made napkin. It might just be the best birthday she’s ever had.

Naturally she can never tell James this because he’ll just be unbearably smug, as opposed to the bearable level of smug he is normally. He buys her an ice block and then precedes to rip into her for picking lemonade flavor, which he has been told by Remus is the ‘most basic’.

Pathetic Lily, truly embarrassing, he says, and she reaches up and snaps the string of his party hat. Being eighteen feels no different to being seventeen, still being told by a choking James that she’d just ‘broken his throat’, still laughing when Remus says that it’s probably a blessing, still liking them all an inordinate amount.

Afterwards they go home, the two of them, back to the tiny apartment where they eat and sleep and make breakfast. When they’d moved in she’d used James’ wand to flick all the dead moths off the windowsill and to get her back he froze hers in ice. Sometimes when she can’t sleep and her brain is a blank wall she’ll get up, walk around, breathe. She can look at any surface of their place and think here. I kissed you here. I loved you here.

She goes through the door and there is a cake on their bench. The top slants to the left, lopsided, and the icing has melted all down the sides. She freezes, staring. James bounds past her and tries to prop up a drooping candle. I didn’t know you weren’t supposed to ice it while it was still hot, he confesses, guiltily.

She keeps staring. You made me a cake. She says, fumbling around the words. I don’t know if you can still call it that, he says, distracted, trying to even out the slanting top by shifting the icing. She cannot believe him- waking up early just to make her a cake. Her heart is swollen. She could break a rib.

Happy birthday Li- he starts, but she has surged forward and is kissing him instead. His hands are sticky from icing, on her face and jaw and neck and he made her a cake. In this kitchen, in this apartment, in her space, he was here. There has never been a better boy than hers, and here. She loves him here.

Cooking Prompts

- You don’t know how to cook more than ramen so I’m trying to teach you but all you have to eat is ramen and a single carrot. How are you alive?

- I needed you to go grocery shopping for me because I love to cook but you have no clue what you’re doing. Also, how do you not know what a radish is? Have you been living under a rock or?

- You are an amazing cook and just watched me eat microwave popcorn for all 3 meals today and I think you’re going to punch me.

- You just made what you think is a really easy dish but I’m actually crying at how good it is. No, I’m fine, I’m just in love with your cooking so much. Please, will you make me more food in the future?

- For my birthday you bought me 3 different cookbooks and I get the hint. You want me to actually make food for once. But dude, it’s hard and takes time to do that.

- We’ve stayed home all day so neither of us have changed but when you started cooking you put on an apron. Now I just realized you are in fact naked wearing a apron and wow you just made cooking sexy.

- “I tried to make you a birthday cake but it completely flopped so now your cake is just a plate of marshmallows. I’m sorry.”

- “I forgot that you’re allergic to (insert food) and I accidentally put some in your meal. Now our dinner date is spent at the hospital.”

- “We’re trying to cook a nice meal together but I’m really clumsy so I dropped everything on the ground. So now we’re eating pizza and watching movies together.”

prejudice in fantasy lit and the use of metaphor

reallybigshadowhunterstvfan said:

what can you say about making Simon a shadowhunter, Mrs Clare? it seemed odd to me that after a whole series of battling for equality between species/races, the downworlder had to become a shadowhunter. not only he basically ceased being a minority, he also became a part of a privileged community, and it just didn’t sit well with me.

Just for the record — I’m not Mrs. Clare; there is no Mr. Clare. I am married, but my pen name is not my husband’s property. :-) 

I think this is a very interesting question that brings up a ton of issues, but there are some aspects of it I’d love to clarify — for instance, I am puzzled at calling Simon “the Downworlder.” Is he more a Downworlder than Magnus? Things like that actually are really important when discussing stories — if he were the only Downworlder in the story, that would be one discussion, but he isn’t, and therefore his story does not speak for the experience of all Downworlders or even a small fraction. 

I am sorry you were surprised negatively by Simon’s story in TMI. Simon never wanted to be a vampire — he always hated it, and unlike Raphael and Lily, he never joined the community of vampires but instead spent all his time with Shadowhunters. Being a Daylighter had already changed him from being any kind of regular Downworlder, as did bearing the Mark of Cain: both made him even less “the Downworlder” and more of an anomaly. It also separated him from the other Downworlders, who treated him with distrust. In my experience, very few readers expected Simon to remain a vampire, given that it was something he never wanted or got used to, and that it was not his dream. More on that in a bit.

As to the question, to me the suggestion that Shadowhunters are “the privileged” and Dowworlders are as a block “the marginalized” — instead of being a complicated metaphor in which they sometimes but not always stand in for people who have had their rights curtailed —  overly simplifies the situation. It is an argument seems to ignore the fact that in fact, humans exist along axes of privilege and marginalization: that people can be privileged in one way and marginalized in another and that when Simon becomes first a Downworlder and then a mundane and then a Shadowhunter, he is not moving clearly from marginalization to privilege, but rather exchanging some types of privilege for others (he remains white as a Downworlder, and is a Daylighter), and exchanging some types of marginalization for others (the marginalization of being a Downworlder for the marginalization of being a mundane-born Shadowhunter and a Jew in a world where Shadowhunters are meant to have one religion). 

Because the argument disclaims spectrums of privilege and marginalization, it also suggests that the world of the Shadowhunter Chronicles is one in which there are no gay or POC or trans people in existence; one in which there is no racism, homophobia, ableism, cis privilege, or bigotry against the neuroatypical. But that is both problematic erasure, and also not true of these books. Downworlders don’t stand in for people of color or LGBTQ+ people because people of color and LGBTQ+ people are in the books; they have not been subsumed into metaphor. (I know the showrunners said there was no homophobia in the Shadowhunter world, only warlock-phobia, but that’s the show, not the books, and it has a different world and world-building. I notice this is a question I get since the show came out, and I sometimes wonder if it’s a question of confusion between the two different universes? It’s easy for that to happen.)

Fantasy prejudice metaphors are complex and confusing and they rarely work as a one to one comparison (in other words, there is a difference between saying that this fantasy situation is reminiscent of this real world thing and saying this fantasy situation is exactly the same as this real world thing. For instance, one of the really interesting things about True Blood is that it made many deliberate parallels between “vampire rights” and GLBT+ rights — referring to vampires “coming out of the coffin” and “God Hates Fangs” on church signs. However, its vampires were also often violent predators who killed and ate people. The argument that Simon “basically ceased being a minority” (while, somehow, remaining Jewish) is similar to making an argument that True Blood was saying that gay people kill and eat their neighbors; I’m fairly sure in fact, they weren’t. They were reaching for a resonance — the echo of a real world situation that would give a layer of relatability and meaning to their points about difference. But they were not creating a literal “these things are the same” comparison or they wouldn’t have had vampires chewing off people’s heads.

So: are Downworlders discriminated against? Yes, sometimes, by Shadowhunters, who are a small specific group. Do they “stand in” for a specific minority group? No, they cannot, because they are accessible as a metaphor to any marginalized group or groups whose rights have been abridged. Also: the world at large does not discriminate against Downworlders because they do not know they exist, nor do they privilege Shadowhunters because they don’t know they exist either. It would be one thing if this was a high fantasy and Shadowhunters and Downworlders were all there was, but these books are set in our world, and the characters experience real-world bigotry, racism, homophobia etc. because of it.

Alec sighed. “Sorry to wreck your vision of our happy family. I know you want to think Dad’s fine with me being gay, but he’s not.” 

“But if you don’t tell  me when people say things like that to you, or do things to hurt you, then how can I help you?” Simon could feel Isabelle’s agitation vibrating through her body. “How can I—” 

“Iz,” Alec said tiredly. “It’s not like it’s one big bad thing. It’s a lot of little invisible things. When Magnus and I were traveling, and I’d call from the road, Dad never asked how he was. When I get up to talk in Clave meetings, no one listens, and I don’t know if that’s because I’m young or if it’s because of something else. I saw Mom talking to a friend about her grandchildren and the second I walked into the room they shut up. Irina Cartwright told me it was a pity no one would ever inherit my blue eyes now.” He shrugged and looked toward Magnus, who took a hand off the wheel for a moment to place it on Alec’s. “It’s not like a stab wound you can protect me from. It’s a million little paper cuts every day.”

 *** 

“He hurt you. It was a long time ago, and I know he tried to make up for it, but—” Bat shrugged. “Maybe I’m not so forgiving.” 

Maia exhaled. “Maybe I’m not either,” she said. “The town I grew up in, all these spoiled thin rich white girls, they made me feel like crap because I didn’t look like them. When I was six, my mom tried to throw me a Barbie-themed birthday party. They make a black Barbie, you know, but they don’t make any of the stuff that goes with her—party supplies and cake toppers and all that. So we had a party for me with a blonde doll as the theme, and all these blonde girls came, and they all giggled at me behind their hands.”

***

If we carry the theory through (Shadowhunters are THE privileged, Downworlders are THE marginalized) that means that Alec, as a gay Shadowhunter, is more privileged than Simon, a straight vampire. That Ty, who would be locked in a mental institution if the Clave discovered his autism, is privileged beyond white, rich, immortal and powerful Malcolm Fade. It’s saying that when Cristina encounters a wealthy, white, straight, misogynist male werewolf in Lady Midnight who tries to force sexual attention on her, she, a Latina woman, is the one who is the privileged character because she is a Shadowhunter and he is a Downworlder (though Sterling has arguably, given that he lives outside the supernatural world, never experienced a whit of prejudice because of it.) So I’m sure you can see where the problem lies.

It also erases Simon’s Judaism entirely. Stating without caveat that Simon has become “part of a privileged community” means ignoring the fact that Simon is Jewish; that he decides in Tales that he will continue to practice, and that he was the only Jewish protag written by two Jewish authors that I’m aware of having been on the bestseller lists last year. He didn’t think about being a vampire as he was preparing to transform — he never wanted to be one or consented to be one, nor was he part of the community, as Raphael constantly pointed out — though he does later think of having previously been a Downworlder when interacting with vampires and Shadowhunter prejudices. He thought of the important thing to him: his Judaism, which he both couldn’t and wouldn’t give up. To me it is personally painful to think that for any reader, Simon’s status as a vampire is more significant than his status as a practicing Jew.

I think sometimes it is possible to invest yourself so heavily in a metaphor that you forget the real world that surrounds the metaphor and the flexibility of metaphors in general. The Shadowhunter/Downworlder situation could stand in for the systemically privileged and marginalized of our world: sometimes it does. However it also can stand in for the way totalitarian governments abuse their own people: there are echoes in Shadowhunter history and current events of the Cambodian genocide, of Stalinist violence against intellectuals and resistors. There are also echoes of police brutality — what Shadowhunters have is the privilege of the Law, specifically: the Law is what allows them to enact bigotry in the name of justice, and when they abuse their jobs, it has resonances of the way police can abuse their jobs and use the privilege conferred on them by their authority to murder and abuse the helpless and marginalized. There are also echoes of the way soldiers carry out immoral orders given by superiors: the Shadowhunters are taught to be obedient to the Clave, and one of the ways we know who our Team Good is in any TSC series that they question that obedience. All of these are echoes and resonances: they are not saying that the Shadowhunters are the police, or the US military, or the Khmer Rouge; the resonances provide context and hopefully add a sense of realism to a situation that is fantastical in its nature.

 (It’s also a wise idea not to so totally buy what the Shadowhunters are selling about themselves. They think they’re special and better and awesome, but the books constantly question and problematize that. Shadowhunters also pay a high high price for their runes and their sense of superiority: they die young and often and experience brutal constant violence and the pressures of a repressive society that allows for little divergence from an idealized norm.)

There are reasons that the Downworlders were never constructed to be a specific marginalized group and their situation was never meant to be limited in its relatability to one situation— for instance, it’s very hard to not look askance at the argument that Downworlders are meant to be specific “race” when you can become a Downworlder and then stop being one: when you can, as Simon does, change what kind of magical creature you are, because there is absolutely no correlation between that and what race or ethnicity means in our world. 

 So yes, Simon becomes a Shadowhunter: however, what I don’t see acknowledged here is not just his ethnicity and religion, but the fact that he becomes a Shadowhunter partly because he is aware of the prejudice of Shadowhunters, and fights against the bigotry they show not just to Downworlders but also to their own. He is part of Magnus and Alec’s Shadowhunter-Downworlder Alliance. He continues to work for change from within the system, arguably something almost no one else could do, because there are almost no other Downworlders who have become Shadowhunters. It is odd to me to consider Simon as simply ascending to a height of blithe privilege when he is fact much more like someone who has become a police officer in order to root out corruption and racism in the police, and brings his own knowledge of marginalization (which he still experiences) with him.

That is why Simon in Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy is constantly fighting and bending the rules in the name of his evolving social conscience, though I understand if you haven’t read TfTSA. One of the things about having had a flood of new readers enter fandom because of the TV show is that I’ve seen a lot of arguments based on the idea that TMI is the entire story of Downworlders and Shadowhunters, or the entire story of these characters. I see people talking about characters getting a happy or sad ending in TMI even when those characters go on to feature heavily in the sequel books and could by no reasonable account be considered to have any ending, happy or sad — unless you thought TMI were the only Shadowhunters books that existed rather than a chunk of a larger ongoing mythology. In no sense has Simon’s story ended: you have no idea if he will remain a Shadowhunter or not. Perhaps if you consider the fact that TMI is not a story that has ended for Simon, but rather one that continues, the fact that he has now been two magical species and might well move on to become another will sit less poorly with you? After all, this is not “after a whole series of battling for equality between species/races” this is “in the middle of a whole series of battling for equality between species/races.” Usually the middle of a story isn’t the place it’s best to draw all your conclusions from. :-) 

NANA Week - Day 4:  Cake

Only the Best Solas Quotes

There are sooo many. Here are some of my faves. Some are deep as hell, some are pure salt & sass, some are as smooth as his shiny bald head.

  • No real god need prove himself. Anyone who tries is mad or lying. 
  • I enjoy the frilly cakes!
  • We were all young once. Makes me giggle every time.
  • I am grim and fatalistic. Getting you into bed is merely an enjoyable side benefit.
  • I lay in dark and dreaming sleep while countless wars and ages passed. I woke still weak a year before I joined you.
  • The Inquisitor turns her hawk-like gaze to me, penetrating deep into my most secret desires. Only… Not. I care deeply for many things beyond the Fade. Just not you.
  • The healer has the bloodiest hands.
  • It’s comforting that whatever qualities I lack, you’ll invent for me, Varric.
  • I volunteered to help, Inquisitor. Rattle the bars if you like, but I chose to enter this cage. 
  • Ah - because I am an apostate. I might flee before the Inquisition throws me in chains?
  • Ass.
  • We must mark the occasion of the Dalish remembering something correctly. Perhaps we should plant a tree.
  • Or pomposity…
  • Most people do [forget Fen’Harel]
  • I will try, in my own fumbling way, to try and learn from how you helped to seal the rift at Haven. Ah, wait. My memory misleads me. You were not there.
  • How small the pain of one man seems when weighed against the endless depths of memory, of feeling, of existence. That ocean carries everyone. And those of us who learn to see its currents move through life with fewer ripples.
  • Please speak up - I cannot hear you over your outfit.
  • Provided it tied you down first, one assumes.
  • And of course: ALL OF THE ENJOYABLE SIDE BENEFITS FLIRTS.

If I missed any good ones, add your own!

Homestuck Amusement Park Headcanons

Suggested by: @asnailinthighhighs

John: warily eyes the pastry booths bc he still has a deep mistrust for baked goods thanks to the Betty Crocker incident aka literally the apocalypse. Plays a (rigged) wack-a-mole game and gets frustrated when he keeps losing. Terezi makes fun of him so he whips out the hammer of zillyhoo and ah, crushes the game, so to speak. His prize is a giant bunny. He puts it back in the box.

Jade: sees one of those rodeo electronic bull things and goes oh that looks fun! Everyone is like uhhh Jade that can get pretty wild are u sure?? Karkat bets Jade that she won’t last 5 mins, oh really Karkat? 5 minutes? She sits on that bucking bronco for an entire hour making uncomfortable and spite fueled eye contact with Karkat the entire time. She only gets off because there’s a line.

Dave: wants to go on all the big rides and drags Karkat along despite Karkat complaining very loudly the entire time. Sorry Karkles, you scared of heights? You a scaredy Kat? A scaredy Karkat? Fuck you Dave, I’m fine! Dave drags him on the biggest rollercoaster in the entire park, they get off and Karkat says wow that was actually pretty fun! Dave’s hair is a mess, he looks inches from perma-death, that was horrible oh god. Not a word, Rose, he says. She and Kanaya are definitely not snickering behind their hands.

Rose: makes a goddamn beeline with Kanaya in tow to the haunted house ride because fuck yes she wants to see some creepy ass shit. If y'all have ever been in an amusement park haunted house, you know how vastly disappointed she was by the lame jump-scares and cheap monsters. Kanaya made it up to her by taking her to the Tunnel O’ Love™ and Rose was significantly cheered up.

Kanaya: isn’t a huge fan of non-blood food but v intrigued by all the fried stuff. Why Is It Fried? Does It Add Flavor? Not really, Rose tells her, it’s mostly just another way humanity likes to push itself closer and closer to its own imminent demise. Only now they’ve roped the trolls and carapacians into it. Oh, Kanaya says. She tries a fried Twinkie and sucks the filling out w her sick rainbow drinker/ vampire skills. Delicious. A single tear trails down Rose’s cheek. I have never been more in love w you.

Terezi: that scene with Toph and the scam artists in ATLA? Basically picture that. It’s one of those rubber duck games where they’re all floating in the pool and at the bottom of them is a different color and that’s how big a prize you get, thing is, Terezi can smell what’s on the bottom. She wins Vriska all the prizes and the dude running the booth is sweating and has to write her an IOU that John won’t let Terezi cash in on because that’s cheating and that’s wrong!

Jane: goes around with Jade and Roxy and Callie critiquing the food booths on their baking skills. She absolutely loathes that everything is fried bc it’s a cheap tactic to make weak bakers stronger! She tries a funnel cake and immediately changes her mind. CrockerCorp releases its own line of fried food that fall. Roxy calls her a sellout but eats it all anyways bc it’s just That Good.

Jake: finds one of those carnival shooter games and one of the big stuffed animal prizes is a gigantic rainbow dash my little pony and,,,he sees Dirk eyeing it. He doesn’t say anything, but Jake Knows. He tells Dirk he has to run off to the “little lads” room for a second, but he goes back to the shooting game, crushes the fuck out of those targets with the wimpy water gun, and presents Dirk with this oversized goddamn pony. It is touching and romantic for everyone involved.

Dirk: tries to show off to Jake by doing that strength test where u slam the hammer down and try to ring the bell at the top, he makes it about half the way up and he’s like fuck yeah that’s pretty fuckin’ good. Jake goes wow golly that’s impressive! Mind if I give it the old college try? Dirk is like pffft go for it, still flexin his muscles trynna show off and shit. Jake casually slams it down and rings the goddamn bell so hard it almost flies off the top. Dirk just stands there with his eyes v wide behind his shades while Jake is like gosh! Must have been buggered, huh?

Roxy: goes on every single ride she is living for today y'all, Callie is too short for most of the rides but Roxy promises to dab at the top of every coaster so Callie can spot her from where she’s watching down below. They share an ice cream sundae and Roxy gives Callie the cherry on top bc it’s “a cherry for a cherub!”

Sollux: idk about amusement parks near y'all but I live right by cedar point and there’s a coaster called Gemini so uhhh he and Aradia just do that. All day. Sollux rides this rollercoaster 53 times, turns to Aradia, says “what if bees had yaoi hands would that be fucked up or what” then passes out for a week.

Masterpost: Autism and Vocabulary

As a writer, we’re sure you are aware that words are important. You can’t always substitute one for another because they all have their own depth of meaning and their own subtleties. So if you want to write an autistic character, you’ll have to refer to autism using the right words. This post will help you do just that!

Autistic person? Person who has autism? Which one should I use?

This is a highly debated question. You might have heard “You have to say “person with autism” because you’re talking about a person first; the person is not defined by their disability!”. While this is a nice thought, it is largely misguided, and this way of talking are mainly used by non-autistic persons while talking about us. The autistic community doesn’t like this “person-first” language very much for several reasons.

First of all, if you need to use specific language to remind yourself that we are people, you may have a problem that no amount of linguistic workarounds can solve. We say “a French person”, not “a person who is French” or “a person with Frenchness”, because we don’t need to remind ourselves that French people are people. Why should it be different with autistic people?

The second reason most of us don’t like saying we are “persons with autism” is that our autism is not something that we carry with us. We are not a human person + a terrible disorder. We are fundamentally different. Being autistic is an integral part of who we are as people, and touches every sphere of our lives. If someone somehow managed to take away our autism, they wouldn’t reveal the “real us” that was hidden behind it: they would create a whole different person. We can’t be separated from our autism, and this should be reflected in the language you use while talking about us.

So ideally, you’ll want to use “autistic”, as an adjective: Cat is autistic, they are an autistic person. Some of us sometimes use “autistic” as a noun as a shortcut, when we’re tired of repeating “people” all the time, but it’s best to avoid it when you can, especially if you’re allistic.

What you really need to avoid is “a person with autism”, or heaven forbid “a person who happens to have autism”, “a person who suffers from autism”, “a person who lives with autism”, or any variation thereof. I’ve also seen a few people write “an autist”, but I don’t get why they do that. Please don’t do it.

And please don’t refer to us as being “on the spectrum,” we don’t need a euphemism to soften the blow of the word “autistic.” We are autistic! Even those who don’t seem disabled. Please remember that, while it is all too often misused in an insulting or pejorative way, “autistic” is not a bad word. Don’t be afraid to use it! In fact, using it more and in a positive way is the best way to stop it from being misused as a pejorative.

You keep using these words I don’t understand…

Alright, let’s get a glossary going! We’ll update this post whenever we use a word that could be hard to understand (if we can remember to do it…). If there is any word on the blog that you can’t understand, check if we’ve explained it here. If we haven’t, shoot us an ask and we’ll do it ASAP. :)
All of the titles are clickable and will take you to the corresponding tag so you can check out everything we’ve written about a subject.

AAC: Augmentative and Alternative Communication. Encompasses all means of communicating used by nonverbal people which are not spoken/sign language, such as using a text-to-speech device or a pictogram system to communicate.

ABA: Applied Behaviour Analysis, the most common type of “therapy” autistic children are subjected to. It can have lots of negative long-terms effects on the person’s life, such as PTSD or vulnerability to abuse.

Ableism: Treating disabled people (including autistic people) poorly because they are disabled.Treating someone differently because they behave in autistic ways, punishing autistic people for stimming, forcing nonverbal autistics to communicate verbally (and ignoring other types of communication), etc. are all examples of ableist behavior.

Alexithymia: Difficulty identifying one’s own emotions, very common in autistic people. They may not know how they feel at all, or simply unable to name their feelings. They are often unable to answer the question “How are you?” or “How are you feeling?” and may be aware only of whether they are feeling “good” or “bad” (and sometimes not even that).

Allistic: Someone who is not autistic. Used as an adjective and sometimes as a noun.

Asperger’s Syndrome: An outdated diagnostic term for an autistic person who is generally able to communicate verbally at a typical age and shows interest in social relationships. This is no longer considered to be a thing which exists. (See our masterpost on functioning labels.)

Autistic: Someone who is autistic (ie the subject of this whole blog) (I don’t know why we added that to the glossary)

Cure Culture / Curism: The attitude held by many allistic groups (most notably the hate group “Autism Speaks”) that autism is a disorder or disease which should be eliminated from the human race and place a priority on “curing” it. This is similar to the old belief that homosexuality is a disease that should be cured, and just as harmful to autistic people.

Disability: There are two main definitions to this word: 1- Not being able to do something that the majority of people are able to do. For example: hear (deaf), see (blind), smell (anosmic), walk (para/quadriplegic), etc.  2-Being impaired by a physical/mental difference in a way that restricts one’s professional, social, personal, or leisure activities. Depending on the definition and personal opinions, autistic people can be considered disabled or not disabled.

Dyspraxia: Difficulty with gross and/or fine motor skills, very common in autistic people. To a casual observer they may appear clumsy, often dropping things, walking into things, or tripping over their own feet (gross motor skills), or with poor handwriting, poor ability to hold a writing instrument, etc. (fine motor skills).

Echolalia: Use of verbal repetition to communicate, usually used by those who are not fully verbal. Words and phrases can be immediately repeated directly (“You OK?” “You OK.”), or with some changes (“Are you OK?” “I am okay.”). They can also come from memory (“Who gave you that?” [Darth Vader voice] “I am your father.” = my father).

Executive Dysfunction: Difficulty with executive functioning; skills used to make decisions and carry out tasks. Many autistic people have problems with this. They may be unable to make what appear to be simple decisions or figure out how to accomplish a simple goal. They may know exactly what they need to do but be unable to get their body to move to do it. It has been described via metaphors in a few ways: one is having all the ingredients to make a cake but no recipe, and being expected to make the cake, but having no idea how to do it. Another is that the body is like a horse and the brain is the rider, and the rider tries to get the horse to move, but it simply won’t budge.

Functioning Labels: Outdated and inaccurate (but sadly, still commonly used) labels for autistic people based on a narrow set of criteria. Those who don’t communicate verbally are normally considered “low-functioning”, for example, and those who can are “high-functioning”. See our masterpost for more information on why these labels are damaging and should not be used.

Hyperacusis: When a person is extremely sensitive to sound and the world sounds far louder to them than to others. It is often extremely painful, like having the volume on the world turned up way too high, and can be disabling. Many people with hyperacusis have or develop tinnitus (a constant sound, often ringing, usually caused by nerve damage in the ears).

Hyperempathy: Having far more affective empathy than a normal person. This can result in things like crying often, being unable to comfort upset people because their emotions are too overwhelming, etc. Some people feel hyperempathy all the time. Some have it only sometimes or for some people, or for inanimate objects.

Hypersensitivity: A blanket term which means “being more sensitive than most people to something”. When it comes to autism, it can refer to several things. Most of the time, it is used about sensory hypersensitivity, such as sensitivity to sounds or bright lights. There is also emotional hypersensitivity (easily getting hurt feelings/responding very strongly to positive feelings).

Hyposensitivity: The opposite of hypersensitivity, some autistic people feel a lack of sensory stimulation. They feel understimulated and may constantly feel the need to seek sensory stimulation. It’s important to note than an autistic person may be hypersensitive in some ways and hyposensitive in others, or at different times.

Infodumping: Sharing a large amount of information on a single topic all at once, often without pausing or allowing others to speak, due to overwhelming enthusiasm for the subject. It is usually done on subjects of special interest.

Low empathy: Some autistic people feel reduced or no affective empathy for other people (do not identify with their emotions or feel inspired to a certain emotion when they see others having that emotion). This does not necessarily mean that they do not care about the emotions of others - some may not care, some may care a great deal - only that they do not feel what others feel. Some people with low empathy for other people have hyperempathy for inanimate objects or fictional characters.

Meltdown: When the brain is too overloaded with sensory information or stress and can no longer function properly, an autistic individual may have a very violent reaction, called a meltdown. The person melting down is generally in a lot of pain. They might scream, throw things, yell curse words and insults, cry, hurt themselves or other, and try to hide themselves in absurd locations like under couch cushions or behind doors.
This neurological event cannot be controlled or stopped once it begins. It can be made worse by interfering and adding more sensory input (by touching or talking to the person) and usually will not subside until the person is left alone to calm down. 

Neurodivergent/Neuroatypical: Having a neurology which is different from the most common ones, such as being autistic or having ADHD. Some people include mental illnesses in this label, some do not.

Neurodiversity: The philosophy that in order to succeed, survive, and thrive, the human race needs many different types of neurology, and that neurodiverse people are an important and positive component of our species.

Neurotypical: A term which is defined as “having the most common type of neurology” (ie not autistic, without ADHD/dyslexia/tourette’s, etc.). Someone with a mental illness may or may not be considered neurotypical depending on people’s opinions.

Nonverbal: Someone who cannot or does not communicate verbally (using spoken language, often including sign language). Some autistic people are always nonverbal. Most are nonverbal under stress or overload. Some are always verbal.

Passing: Successfully behaving enough like an allistic person, particularly in social situations, that no one suspects you are autistic. Often important or even necessary for some people, especially when it comes to work situations.

PECS: One of the AAC methods which is most commonly used with autistic children (and sometimes adults). Stands for “Picture Exchange Communication System”. A pictogram-based system.

Proprioception: All of the sensory input which comes from inside your body. Includes your brain’s awareness of where the different parts of your body are. Autistic people often have very poor proprioception. As a result, they may have some type of dyspraxia, odd facial expressions, odd posture and walking gait, etc., all of which they may not be aware of until someone tells/shows them.

Sensory Processing Disorder: The clinical term for someone who has difficulty processing sensory information. Includes sensory hypersensitivity, hyposensitivity and differences. Too many details to process can lead to sensory overload, shutdowns, and meltdowns. Some autistic people don’t agree that it is a disorder, and prefer to talk of “sensory processing differences”.

Sensory Overload: When too much sensory information is being sent to the brain and the brain can no longer keep up. It becomes painful and the person can become incapable of accepting new sensory information until the brain has time to catch up (like a computer freezing when too many programs are open). This often leads to shutdowns and/or meltdowns.

Shutdown: A defense mechanism against sensory overload and stress. The brain attempts to shut out all sensory input by disconnecting from the environment. The person might no longer understand speech (or even fully hear it), be able to think in language (or to think in any way at all), move their body, or communicate in any way. Their eyes might unfocus and they may seem to be completely “out of it”. This state is usually a sign that the person needs to be left alone for their brain to calm down, but if pushed by those around them, they may switch to having a meltdown.

Special Interest: A subject which an autistic person is extremely interested in and will go to great lengths to learn everything possible about.

Spoons: A metaphor used to indicate the (limited) amount of energy a disabled or sick person has to devote to various tasks. There is a whole script blog devoted to this (@scriptspoonies). Many autistic people rely on this metaphor to describe their (lack of) energy.

Stimming: Repeated actions which are used to stimulate one’s own nervous system, done for various reasons including to soothe oneself/calm down, express emotions, communicate, or just because it feels nice. Common examples include rocking back and forth, flapping hands, clenching jaw, tapping a part of the body, making a repeated noise, etc.

Verbal: Able to communicate using spoken language.

Single Dad, CEO! ♡ Tom Holland Head Canon

summary: ceo!tom meets single dad! tom

wc: about 2100

warnings: language ?? lot’s of cuteness ??

author’s note: two of my favorite tom au’s and hOLY SHIT I’M SO GLAD AN ANON MENTIONED THIS SHOUTOUT TO YOU!! there’s a lot i left out simply because it would be extremely long if i didn’t so i apologize but there may be a part 2 in the future ??


  • Single Dad!Tom was an accident, but also the biggest miracle in Tom’s eyes
  • His daughter’s mom, a woman he vaguely remembered sleeping with one drunken night,  left her with Tom one morning as a “surprise” never to be heard from or seen again
  • He had no idea his daughter even existed, he wasn’t even sure she really was his
  • But her features were almost identical to hers, being a dead giveaway he couldn’t ignore
  • It took him awhile to process it
  • She was merely a few months old when her mother dropped her off at Tom’s penthouse without so much as a second thought
  • However, Tom was probably the most clueless person on how to be a father
  • He vaguely had memories of helping with his younger brothers, but it was never his responsibility to take care of them as babies
  • He immediately called Harrison over to help him figure it out
  • “Are you gonna.. Keep it?”
  • “Fuckin’ hell, Harrison, of course I’m keeping her.”
    • he says this while admiring the baby girl in the car seat who was still sound asleep
  • “You’re telling me you had no idea she was even born??”
  • “Harrison..if I knew I had gotten a woman pregnant don’t you think I would’ve mentioned it at some point??”
  • Tom finding her birth certificate and other important papers her mother left in a folder
  • Her name is Genesis, and he’s positive it’s the most beautiful name he’s ever heard now
  • He really struggles balancing work and taking care of Genesis for the first few months
  • He couldn’t decide on a day care and went to at least a dozen because he wanted to make sure it was perfect for his little angel who already had Tom wrapper around her tiny finger
  • He makes sure his assistant doesn’t schedule any meetings around the times he drops/picks up Genesis from day care
  • Everywhere he goes with her, he proudly carries her and her diaper bag
  • Loads of trips to the park as she gets to be around 2 years old
  • Pushing her on the little swings for a good hour until she’s tired and his arms feel like falling off
  • Sometimes when his schedule is free, he’ll pack them both a small picnic filled with PB&J’s and juice boxes
  • As Genesis gets older, Tom is really picking up on this whole parenting thing
  • He does his best to revolve his schedule around her little life
  • Bringing her into the office as often as he can just to show her off
  • She’s a really excited toddler and is always buzzing with energy, especially when she’s getting non stop attention at Tom’s work
  • She loves spinning around in his office chair
  • All of his employees LOVING her
  • She’s made best friends with one of the older women who work there, Carol, from the sales department
  • “Daddy, daddy, look!! Carol made me a bracelet!!”
  • Secretly, Tom gives Carol a raise because she offers to babysit Genesis sometimes and Tom is just so grateful for how much Carol likes her
  • He’ll carry Genesis through the building with a huge, excited smile on his face
  • On the weekends he makes sure to go all out and cook them big breakfasts with waffles and bacon and fruit and eggs and really he just loves doing things for her
  • She loves when he gives himself a whipped cream beard, her giggles filling the kitchen
  • dON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHEN HE AGREED TO SIGN HER LITTLE 4 YEAR OLD SELF UP FOR BALLET
  • Let me tell you, it’s the best thing that has ever happened
  • She begs him to practice in the living room with her, insisting she teaches him  
    • Although he has a few moves up his sleeve
  • So he’d put on his serious listening face and give her his full attention
  • But she’d pause it in the middle of the lesson to go put on her tutu
  • And she’d come back with a pink blanket from her room, begging Tom to put it on around his waist so he could be a “pretty pink dancer” too!
  • Yet she’s his baby girl, so really he’d do anything to make her happy
  • Except one evening when he missed one of her recitals due to an extremely important business meeting followed by ridiculous traffic
  • He finally makes it, but the little dancers are attempting to do their final bow in unison
  • His heart is so heavy with sorrow and regret and he feels like the worst dad ever 
  • But Genesis comes running to him when all is over and he’d pick her up immediately and start apologizing to her for missing it
  • “It’s ok, daddy, I still love you a lot”
  • He’d never admit his eyes teared up
  • Taking Genesis out for ice cream to make up for it and letting her stay up two hours later than usual
  • oH LORD THE COUNTLESS NUMBER OF TEA PARTIES
  • “Dad we’re british it’s normal for us”
  • “Darling, nothing is normal about daddy wearing this princess tutu.”
  • It was a contrast to his usual business attire
  • Helping Genesis arrange all of her larger stuffed animals around the table
  • Filling up little tea cups with apple juice and putting on a proper English accent
  • It never fails to make Genesis laugh
  • Once he gets into it, he’s wanting to continue it longer than she does
  • “Ok, daddy I’m bored.”
  • “But Mr. Giraffe was telling me a brilliant story about-”
  • “No, we’re done.”  
  • Her first day of Kindergarten was the most stressful day for him
  • He tried braiding her hair
    • Keyword: Tried
  • Genesis letting out little heavy sighs as he tugs on her hair in an attempt to do the seemingly complicated twists
  • Tom moved all his meetings so that he could have the morning dedicated to Genesis’ big day
  • Loading up her little pink backpack with extra snacks, juice boxes, her favorite teddy bear, and loads of crayons and new supplies she begged to have
  • Driving his own BMW instead of having his driver take them because this was a big deal
  • Constantly checking on her in the backseat through the rearview mirror
  • “Daddy why do you keep looking back here?”
  • “You’re not allowed to keep growing up”
  • “bUT DAD HOW ELSE WILL UNCLE HARRISON LOVE ME IF I’M STILL A BABY”
    • Not to mention this little 5 year old had a slight crush on “uncle” Harrison
    • It irritated Tom to NO END
  • Pulling up to the school and Tom assisting her out of her car seat, helping her little legs reach the ground of the car
  • Him holding her hand and guiding her to her classroom
  • He feels very out of place since the room is filled with mainly moms
  • Loads of moms staring at the gorgeous man ???
  • Giving polite smiles to them and he swears he heard one of them say, “I’d get a divorce for that one over there,” while pointing to him
  • He’s really flattered but all he wants to focus on is Genesis
  • Helping her find her name tag on one of the tiny tables
  • The teacher starts dismissing parents and Tom really doesn’t want to leave
  • He might’ve tried bribing the teacher but she still refused
  • Leaving the classroom after giving Genesis lots of hugs and forehead kisses
  • Watching her talk to the kids around her makes him grin
  • leT’S JUST TALK ABOUT HOW FRUSTRATED TOM GETS WITH GENESIS’ HOMEWORK
  • So he thought when she asked him for help it would be a piece of cake
  • “What is this shit??”
  • “Daddy, language.”
    • “Sorry, what is this crap?”
    • “DaD THAT’S STILL NOT POLITE”
  • She definitely got his attitude
  • Long after Genesis figured out the simple word problems and gone to bed, he’s still trying to make sense of the kindergarten common core logic
  • Ringing Harrison for his opinion
  • “WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT ARE THEY TRYING TO TEACH MY DAUGHTER??”
  • “Listen, mate, google it or some shit, it’s 1:00 a.m.”
  • Let’s not forget the matching Spider-Man shirts Tom insists on getting him and Genesis because they both adored the superhero
  • When it’s career day in 2nd grade, Genesis is EXTREMELY excited to bring her dad in
  • He wears one of his best suits, eager to make a good impression for Genesis
  • Talking about how it is being a CEO
  • Genesis is watching him with such admiration because she’s already so proud of her dad
  • Tom accidentally swearing around a load of 7 and 8 year olds
  • Becoming flustered and apologizing rapidly to the other parents and teachers in the room
  • “Well, that went well.”
  • “Just keep walking, Genny.”
  • The first time Genesis had a field trip in 3rd grade, TOM WAS BEYOND EXCITED
  • He took off a whole day of work and silenced all of his work phones and emails
  • It was a trip to the zoo and he wanted to chaperone
  • He brought extra snacks for all the kids in his group and bought them all tickets to ride the carousels and feed the giraffes and basically gave into whatever the kids wanted
  • Every kid in Genesis’ class wanted to be in Mr. Holland’s group
  • He’s totally loving being the icon of the day
  • When he learned Genesis liked one of the little boys in the group, oH GOD HIS POOR DAUGHTER
  • “Hey, Gen, is thIS THE BOY??” while pointing at the little boy who was very scared
  • “Oh mY GOD, DAD.”
  • Although Tom was arguably one of the smartest businessmen in history, it was unknown whY he wore a white button up and black slacks to the ZOO
  • He really regretted this when they went into the petting zoo
  • A goat chewed a hole through the bottom of his trousers and an other slobbered all over his shirt
  • Tom rarely went on dates after having Genesis, he couldn’t bring himself to make time for another girl in his life since she was basically the star of it now
  • One night, he went on a date with a girl from Italy, who Genesis wasn’t very fond of
  • He left her with the babysitter and promised to come say goodnight again when he got home
  • Being the smart little girl she is, she dialled Tom’s number on her emergency phone while the Nanny was in the kitchen and told him she broke her ankle while practicing ballet
  • Of course, Tom cut the date short and rushed home
  • ONLy to find her practicing pirouettes with the babysitter
  • “What about your ankle??”
  • “I don’t think it was broken, after all!”
  • Tom being very upset that she had lied
  • Questioning her about it after the babysitter left
  • “I didn’t like her. She looked like a bitc-”
  • “GeNESIS HolLAND”
  • But really he can’t help but laugh
  • She really took after him when it came to her open mindedness
  • Later on, down the road, Tom met you
  • You were Genesis’ 5th grade teacher
  • She always came home raving about how cool her teacher was is and how nice and you always drew cute pictures on her papers that received perfect scores
  • Parent-Teacher conferences came around and of course he showed up, expecting an older woman from all of Genesis’ descriptions
  • Boy was he wrong
  • You were his age, or maybe a year or two younger
  • He didn’t expect you to be that pretty
  • He tries to be charming but that doesn’t go as planned
  • “So, uh.. What do you do?”
  • “I’m.. a.. Teacher.”
  • Going on and on about how Genesis is easily one of your favorite students
  • Tom going home that night thinking of excuses to see you again
  • So the next day he offers to drive Genesis to school instead of her riding the bus
  • “But Daddddd it’s not cool anymore-”
  • “Get in the car.”
  • Even walking her to her class despite all of her little protests
  • When he gets to the classroom his heart is pretty much going !!!!!!!
  • Lol only to find out there’s a substitute today because you’re sick
  • So he repeats the process the next day and poor Genny is like “dAD WHY ARE YOU HERE”
  • You’re finally back and he makes his way over to you
  • “Hey, Mr. Holland right?” and you smile at him and his heart is doing gymnastics
  • “Can we get coffee sometime?” gENESIS AND HER CLASSMATES ARE ALL WATCHING THE EXCHANGE WITH WIDE EYES
  • Blushing at his gesture and nodding slightly
  • The 5th graders all going “ooOOOOH MISS Y/L/N”
  • Hushing them while Tom gives you a smile and gives Genesis a hug before leaving
  • Sending a note through Genesis to you the next day containing his phone number
  • Genesis reading the note
  • “Dad you’re so embarrassing.”
  • Genesis giving you the note later in class
  • “It’s from my dad, I think he really likes you. But don’t worry, he has my approval. Are you gonna come over for dinner now?? Can I get an A in all my subjects now???”
  • Texting Tom later in the day, a smile on both of your faces throughout the conversation
  • Tom thanking Genesis when he gets home :’)
  • Also reminding her no matter what she’d always be his favorite girl
  • You ended up being an extremely close second 

anonymous asked:

THIS IS YOUR EXCUSE TO WRITE HOTMESS BTS :)

thaNK YOU !!!
notes: some of these are a little more Hot than usual so read the warnings !!! also these all mention drinking in some capacity 

Namjoon

  • you’re at a party and you’re bored out of your mind so you go toward the bathroom to take a break from the shitty music
  • and you see this guy???? dressed in all black laying in the bathtub reading a book
  • and you’re like “um-” and he looks up and he’s like “ill close the curtain if you need to p-”
  • and you’re like “im fine, but uh - is that comfortable?”
  • and he grins and is like “not really, but my friends need someone to be the designated driver when this is over and every other surface in the house is covered in people,,,,,,,doing things,,,,,so i just take cover here.”
  • and you’re like oh wow,,,,,and you see that he’s reading a book on like the human psyche and Renaissance art something really wild like that
  • and you’re like “read me a passage from that.” and his eyes go wide and he’s like ????? are you interested in art and psychology? and you’re like um,,,,,,,,,,,i just rather listen to writing than whatever crap they’re playing out there
  • he laughs at that and he’s like “sure let me read you this cool line about sculpture-”
  • and you sit on the edge of the tub listening to this strangers deep, handsome voice read out to you
  • and when he’s done with the passage he asks you what you think about it and you’re like “hmm,,,” and you guys spend a good two hours like that
  • you even move off the ledge of the tub into the tub and your sitting with your legs over the long legs of the guy and talking about what the meaning of life really means
  • and only when you hear someone yell out “namjooN,,,,,yOONGI is TRYING to DRIVE but he’s DRUNK”
  • does the guy say he have to get up and when he does you realize holy heck he’s TALL
  • and now you’re both standing in the tub and you hear it again, the person outside yelling for namjoon
  • and namjoon is like “this ,,,,,,was fun”
  • and you can see his ears going a bit red as he scratches at his neck and he’s like “here-”
  • he hands you the book and he’s like “it’s a thanks for hanging out with me.” and you’re like “oh,,,,,i only have this to give you-”
  • and you lean up, pressing your lips to his cheek
  • and namjoon’s blushing ears turn to his blushing whole face
  • but he tilts his head a bit and kisses you on the lips and you guys are about to make out in this tub
  • but the door flies open and taehyung is holding yoongi whose got the keys to the car swinging around his finger and taehyung is like hYUNG kiss them later pleASE HELP me

Yoongi

  • it’s 3 am and the train is empty except for you and this other dude and you’re both obviously,,,,,,,coming from the club because he’s got his beanie pulled over his eyes and you’re trying to get your bag closed but the zipper is blurry in your eyes
  • but then the train stops in the middle of the train and you groan because what kind of jam could happen at 3 in the damn morning
  • and the guy pulls up his beanie to reveal a handsome, but equally pissed off about the train face
  • and after 20 minutes of the train not moving you’re like,,,,outloud,,,, “what the HELL are we gonna be down here all night”
  • and the guy just scoffs and is like “i know right”
  • and you’re just like “this,,,,,,,,,,,subway is so dumb,,,,,,” and he’s like “super dumb,,,,,like whose operating this thing? a ghost? who can’t drive?”
  • and you let out a loud laugh and you’re like thaTS whaT IM SAYING
  • and he’s like “i could probably,,,,,,drive this train better”
  • and you’re like “you should go try” and he’s like “I WOUL,,,,d if i wasn’t,,,,,,,,,,,,tipsy,,,,,,”
  • and you’re like same same same
  • and then it’s silent until you’re like “what should we do while we wait”
  • and the guys like “idk,,,,,,what do you usually do to pass the time.”
  • and you think about it and you’re like “um,,,,,,,,i dance,,,,,,,,,,,,,,or kiss someone,,,,,,,,sometimes at the same time,,,,,,,,,i did that today,,,,,,,like a couple hours ago”
  • and the guy raises an eyebrow and he’s like “you sound like my friend taehyung” and you’re like “is taehyung cool” and the guy shrugs but he’s like “you can dance here,,,,,,,,,,,,,if you want”
  • and you decide, just for the giggles, that you will so you put your phone on the loudest volume and put on some song and start to dance the best you can with your depleated energy and blurry vision
  • and the guy kind of watches with a half-grin
  • until you move over and try to get him up and he’s like groaning that he doesn’t want to and you’re like c’mon there’s nothing else to do plus no one sees us
  • and at first he’s completely unmovable
  • until finally you get him up and he kind of tetters forward onto you and you’re like “oooooo i got you don’t worry”
  • and your faces are much closer now and you realize he really is,,,handsome and you’re like whats your name and he’s like ‘yoongi’ and you’re like,,,,,,,that’s such a handsome name just like your face
  • and he’s like you’re right
  • and you’re both standing there and he’s like “you said that you dance,,,,but also that you kiss people?” and you’re like um,,,yes and he’s like “well i don’t dance so-”
  • and you get what he’s implying and you’re like oh ill gladly kiss you but as soon as you lean up the train jerks
  • and you and yoongi tumble back toward the seats and he’s like woAH and you’re like laughing but it’s cute you guys,,,,,get comfortable sitting next to each other and yoongi is kinda too awkward to ask you to kiss him again 
  • but you do kiss him, right before you get off at your stop 

Jin +Hoseok [slight nsfw]

  • they’re office buddies with completely different personalities but damn do they love to drink together 
  • especially when the boss is gone for the day and they have to stay overtime hoseok just pulls a bottle of whatever out of his bag and is like hyuNG let’s crunch numbers while doing back shots
  • and it has ended up in both of them passing out at their desks with hoseok’s tie wrapped around his head and seokjin’s collared shirt half un-buttoned
  • and you’re the person who shares the cubicle between their’s and,,,,,you basically take care of them before anything gets out of hand
  • and hoseok is always teasing you and messing up your hair and calling you cute while soekjin is always lecturing you on manners and asking you to taste test what he’s brought from home
  • and it’s ,,,,,, tiring but at least they’re not creepy and if anyone is creepy toward you they’re both like “square up. right now. we’re basically their bodyguards stay back.” jin even once got a stapler and was like @ the creep “im not afraid to use this in ways you thought unimaginable”
  • one night when it’s the three of you hoseok is like “i just had three shots and an amazing idea: truth or dare”
  • and jin is like “you know,,,usually i’d tell you that’s for highschoolers but i hate everything right now so let’s do it.”
  • and of course you can’t play truth or dare with two people so guess who gets roped in: it’s you
  • and you’re like fine whatever and hoseok is like truth or dARE and you’re like “Dare” because you aren’t about to spill any secrets about yourself
  • and hoseok is like “,,,,if i was,,,,,,,not thinking about another shot i would say do something silly but i dare you to kiss the one you think is more hotter: me or seokjin”
  • and if you choose hoseok you like roll your eyes but says “sorry seokjin” and lean over to kiss hoseok
  • who is SURPRISED and seokjin is so offended he excuses himself to go look in the mirror for a while and you’re sitting there like “ok truth or d-”
  • but hoseok is like “do that again” and you’re like what and he’s like “please, do that again.”
  • and you’re like,,,,,ok and you crawl over to him and bring your lips to his and he suddenly has his arms around your waist and pulling you toward and ontop of him
  • and he falls back against the carpeted floor of the office and you’re just like ,,,,,not just kissing now like you can feel hoseok’s tongue and his hand is slipping from your waist downward
  • and you’re like “wait - seokjin might come ba-” and hoseok is like “he won’t. he’s gonna have a date with the bathroom mirror so do you want to stay on the floor or should i get you on my desk-”
  • if you choose seokjin you get kind of embarrassed because you’re like “i,,i can’t kiss seokjin,,,,,” and seokjin sticks his tongue out at hoseok because hA they thin im more handsome and hoseok makes a face but is like “kiss him, i dared you.” and seokjin grins at you and is like “i don’t mind!”
  • and you’re looking at him,,,,,with his button down and his neat tie and his slicked back hair and you’re like “,,,,,i,,,,,,,,,,”
  • and hoseok is like “FINE ill leave and give you two some privacy” and you’re like “hos-” but it’s too late he’s gone and seokjin is looking at you suddenly with a Much Different Expression
  • and he carefully undoes his tie and is like “it was too tight, now come here” and you’re like uh ,,, um,,,,,,,wha,,,,,,,,
  • but seokjin is taking your wrist and you’re like oh- and when his lips press softly against yours,,,,it’s like heaven and you might as well just leave this planet right in this moment
  • but then you’re also like,,,,,you let your hands come up and undo his button down and seokjin is like smirking and he’s like “you really want to go that far already?”
  • and you stammer a bit but seokjin is full on smirking now and he’s like “c’mon, get up and let’s go.” and you pass by hoseok whose coming back from the bathroom and seokjin is like “we’re gonna be using the breakroom for a while, it’s going to get loud so just go home hoseok ok?”
  • and hoseok is like hYUNG WHAT GET IT 

Jimin

  • gets easily emotional over small things,,,,,but it’s what makes him charming 
  • and he’s having like an extra hard week because work is slowly stressing him to insanity and ,,,,,, he just needs an hour to himself so he decides to go get his favorite snack at the mall
  • but the minute he turns around with his ddeokbokki in hand some asshole goes rushing past him and it falls from his arms and splatters all over the floor
  • and he tries to get down to clean it up,,,,,,,but he just stares at it,,,,,,the mess of sauce and the cakes and he’s just,,,,,, he turns back to look at you, who works the stall and ,,,,,, oh my god he’s crying
  • and you rush out and take off your apron and try to clean up the mess while also asking jimin what’s wrong (you know him because he’s a local at your stall) and he’s just quivering and you’re like ok ok ok come with me
  • and you lead him inside and put up a “on break” sign and you’re like “jimin what’s going on??”
  • and he’s just,,,sobbing now and you’re like omg and you don’t know what to do so you just open your arms to offer a hug
  • but you don’t expect jimin to throw his whole body toward you and you’re like o  H 
  • and he’s like “eVERYTHING is going WR O N G,,,,,,,,” and you’re like im sorry,,,,,do you wanna talk about it????
  • and he does. he really does. he talks for a longtime but you don’t mind because jimin is always so sweet and you don’t want someone so nice to keep all of this bottled up
  • and when he’s done, after all the tissues you used to wipe his tears to the point where you ran out and had to use your own sleeve, he hiccups and is like im sorry,,,,,,for telling you all that
  • but you’re like no omg it’s fine. all of us go through big messes in our life
  • and jimin sniffles, looking up at you and you’re like “hey let me make you some more ddeokbokki. just sit here for minute”
  • and when you return you give jimin the snack and he eats some 
  • and he’s like “i love it so much.”
  • and you’re like “thank you!!!!”
  • and then you hear him go: “i love you too” and you’re like pause. what
  • and jimin’s eyes widen and he’s like oh no,,,,,why did i say,,,,,,,,that,,,,,,,,,,,,,now is not the time to confess to them  ehrgljbgfsawdg
  • but you just grin and reach out to thumb away some sauce from his lip and you’re like
  • “let’s start with like jimin? i like you too.” 

Taehyung [slight nsfw / implied taehyung + jimin + you] 

  • wants to makeout with everyone, at the same time preferably 
  • comes to the party wearing lipstick and glitter highlighter and a jean jacket that has half the back missing and he’s not interested in what gender or what color or what kind of physical body you have ,,,,,,if you make him laugh,,,,,,,,,,,,,like he’s gonna want to kiss you (with your permission of course) (and the permission of whoever else you 2 want to include in this group kiss)
  • very handsy and affectionate and tells everyone about how he once backpacked through europe and met the descendant of a prince of some province and then,,,,,,like,,,,,,,,,,made out with him,,,,,,,,,and how he met a girl who breeds snakes and how he well,,,,,,,made out with her,,,,,,,,,
  • “i got this tattoo on my ankle at a frat party at a college i didn’t even go to because the college was in germany” 
  • you meet him as you’re getting a drink and you accidentally turn around too fast and it spills on him and you’re like shit im so sorry but taehyung just laughs it off and takes his shirt off and you’re like oh 
  • and he’s like “there problem fixed” and he’s,,,,,,really lean and his pretty tan skin has some tattoos and some bruises,,,,what you presume are actually love bruises and bite-marks more than anything
  • and taehyung sees you looking and he laughs and is like “like what you see?” and you’re like uM,,,,,,and he’s like “who are you here with?”
  • and you point over to your best friend jimin who invited you along and taehyung is like “care to introduce me?”
  • and that’s how you end up sitting between jimin and taehyung and taehyung is so hilarious and jimin is usually shyer,,,,,but with taehyung’s open personality all three of you are laughing 
  • and wow taehyung smudges his highlighter and the liner around his eyes and his whole cheek is full of glitter and it’s really cute and you’re like “can i kiss the glitter off your skin?” and he’s like hehe sure
  • and you do and then you kiss him and there is lipstick on you now and you turn around and jimin is like “,,,,,,,,you have some- come here” and kisses you
  • and it’s great ,,,,,,,,,, two cute boys 
  • and you three ditch the party and jimin is like “i live down the block!!” and you know fun stuff happens however you would like to Assume it Happens
  • but in the morning you and taehyung say goodbye to jimin and as you’re walking out of the apartment,,,,messy hair and instead of your jacket you have taehyung’s thrown over your shoulders
  • you’re like “well -” and taehyung is like “wanna go get some breakfast with me? we can count it as our first date ;)” and you’re kind of taken back because oh,,,,,date,,,,,
  • and taehyung laughs at your surprise and he’s like “i know i don’t seem like the type to do dates, but i do. especially when i like a person as much as i have started liking you.” 

Jungkook 

  • you’ve known jungkook since you were kids but you never expected to find him sleeping on your balcony,,,,,,especially when you didn’t let him into your apartment
  • but that is Exactly how you find him and you’re like,,,,,what the hell i live on 4th floor how did he get up here
  • but when you bend down to wake him up you see that he’s got a swollen lip and some marks on the side of his face and you’re like WHAT DID THIS BOY DO
  • and you gently shake him, instead of yelling at him as you first planned to and you’re like “jungkook - hey - bro - bruh - dude - wake up”
  • and he lets out like a tiny moan of pain as he tries to roll over and his face touches the floor and when you finally get him to sit up he’s like “where am i?”
  • and you’re like “on my balcony”
  • and he’s like what the hell did you carry me up here??? and you’re like you know that’s impossible you fool you probably climbed the tree over there and then jumped or something you like doing that you’re like a spidermonkey
  • and jungkook laughs at that but winces in pain and you’re like “come inside let me look at your beat up face”
  • and he’s sitting at your kitchen table with dried blood on his face and hands and clothes that you’re pretty sure you saw him in yesterday
  • and you’re like getting what you can out of your medicine cabinet and you’re like “care to explain?”
  • and he’s like “some,,,,,,dude was trying to rob this old lady and the hyungs told me not to chase him but i did,,,,,,,,,and then his friends were waiting around the corner from your building,,,,”
  • you kind of sqaut down infront of him and bring the antiseptic up to his cuts and he’s like taking in a breath and you’re like “sorry, sorry”
  • and he’s like “they got a hold of me for a bit but then i ran away and i probably just thought this would be a good place to hide out,,,,”
  • you put a bandage over the cuts and try to apply something to the swollen lip of his 
  • and you look at him,,,,,,the boy you usually see with the pure big eyes and sweet childish face,,,,,now looking rugged and you don’t want to admit it but he looks,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,kind of hot
  • and you’re like “jungkook you’re not a superhero you can’t just go off and get beat because someone robbed someone” and he shrugs it off like he does with everything
  • and when you go over again to give him an icepack you found jungkook kind of falters and his eyes drop and you’re like “what’s wrong?”
  • and he just murmurs under his breath that you’re just ,,,,, really close 
  • and you hadn’t noticed it but you had been leaning yourself against his thighs,,,,,basically inbetween his legs
  • and you can see the blush rise up in jungkook’s face,,,,,,,and you’re like ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,oh my god,,,,,,,,,,
  • but after all he is an adult and you’re like dkgbvjsldld but also ,,,,,, it’s kind of,,,,,,,flattering
  • and you like can’t kiss his face but you decide to tease and you’re like “i know what will heal all of this up a healing kiss -” and you like take his palm and kiss it and jungkook really is blushing now. you can see the steam coming out of his damn ears
  • and you’re like “but also just knock on my door next time,,,,,,,don’t sleep out on the balcony jungkook WHO DOES THAT” 

jack l. zimmermann birthday hcs!!!!! i love that old man!!!!!! 

  • when he’s little he always has carrot cake w cream cheese frosting and rainbow sprinkles for breakfast on his birthday and its so WILD! cake for breakfast!!
  • after he stops going home for the summer it kinda just stops but then maybe like 2 yrs after samwell alicia mentions it in passing and bitty’s like “what? the HELL why haven’t i heard abt this!!” and the tradition lives on (now w/ homemade eric bittle carrot cake) 
  • one yr his grandma gives him a moose stuffed animal for his birthday he names her maple and she has multiple zimmermann jerseys and he loves her 
  • another yr he has a pony at his birthday party and its LIT I’m js jack loves that pony there r so many pictures on the internet of newly 7 yr old jack smiling so big w a few baby teeth missing, wearing a birthday hat that matches the horse’s. the smh team has a framed copy in the living room of the haus  
  • lardo paints him something for his birthday every yr and at some point a lil later in life she’s a successful artist and w/ shitty and she’s got $$$ so she buys jack something for the first time and he’s like “? what is this” and she’s like “well i can actually afford to buy u a real present now so…” and he’s like “… what do u mean real present? where’s my painting?” she hugs him So Hard he doesn’t understand why but he goes along w/ it 
  • u know that episode of parks where leslie pretends 2 be planning this wild party 4 ron but rly it’s all a prank and she’s just putting a quiet room aside for him 2 eat steak and watch a movie ? ransom and holster totally do that 2 jack and in the room is like 5 and a half hours of nhl highlights, chicken tenders, a maple apple pie, and a protein shake
  • one time bob makes jack’s birthday cake w bitty and it’s such a MESS but jack’s still emo abt it tbh bc they’re both just so happy and covered in flour and bob tried So Hard ok 
  • anyways not 2 be #gay but like.,,,every year after they get together bitty kisses jack awake + asleep on his birthday w/ one kiss for every year he’s been alive. and jack doesn’t rly question it at first bc he’s 2 distracted by the love but the night of the first birthday together jack’s like “why r u being So Deliberate w counting these kisses??” and bitty stops and looks at him and is like “honestly….i just want u 2 know how proud i am of u for making it through every one of these years”
  • and honestly like every birthday jack always kind of has a Moment where he looks around at his friends and his boyfriend and his family and all the pie and the pony wearing a hat that ransom and holster definitely got for the party and he can’t help but feel this unreal feeling of like I’m Here and I’m Alive and I’ve Made it Through Another Year and he’s just…rly happy ok 
  • p.s. basically every yr on his birthday jack rolls out of bed and cracks his joints and bitty texts the group chat abt it and they chirp him about it…,,,so much and jack’s just like “ha these kids” like the loser old man he is 

@zsaszmatazz tagged me to do the “six movies I can watch any time” meme (LIKE 10 YEARS AGO I’M SORRY) so here goes!

1. Road to El Dorado

Don’t tell me you can’t also watch this whenever. It’s lolzy, it’s feelsy, and it’s the source of one of my three OT3s. If Miguel/Tulio wasn’t allowed to be canon, I’m making Miguel/Chel/Tulio my headcanon dammit. Fight me.

The story is a fantastic adventure every time. The music is amazing, the animation is GORGEOUS. The jokes are funny no matter how many times I hear them. “Stars.” “Holy ship.” “Apparently ‘El Dorado’ is native for GREAT… BIG… ROCK.” 

And don’t get me started on the armadillo. Is that thing a spirit guide? A god? Probably. I’m for it.

Originally posted by garytheprophet

2. Chicken Run

I consider this one a guilty pleasure. Again, always a funny, fun adventure. Just serious enough to balance out the lolz. And Ginger is one hell of a snarky character. I love that she’s simultaneously mom friend and rebel friend.

Also, it’s that claymation Wallace and Gromit animation, which is just… nifty! I always find myself watching certain characters move, checking out different textures, especially with Babs and her knitting. Just… excellent.

Also, also this:

Originally posted by alexanderhamiltonisthebottom

3. Stardust

What can I say about this movie? Well…

I was based on a book written by my favorite author, Neil Gaiman, is a fantastic adventure that addresses the line between magic and non-magic worlds and includes such fun things as evil witches, falling in love, warring princes, falling stars, unicorns, ghosts, and sky pirates in drag (which Neil said he’s pretty sure he didn’t write, but it’s such a good scene you guys).

I am always happy by the end of it. The growing-up story is so good. And Tristan kind of bumbles through it like I totally believe I would were I thrown into a story like that. It’s just… such a satisfyingly complete and fun story, and I love it every single time.

Originally posted by kingofthecarrotflowers

4. Megamind

Shut the hell your mouth this is the best villain-to-hero story I know. I am always so proud of Megamind. Like, real talk, how often does our favorite adorable villain get the girl? How often do we get to see the bumbling bad guy actually get a cool-ass happy ending? And the emotional journey he goes on gets just serious enough without killing the funny vibe the whole movie carries.

The writing is tropey, but in a way that totally plays on those tropes while making fun of them. Trope-ception is my favorite trope. And I love, love, LOVE the design choices. This movie is so colorful, and the proportions are so over the top. It’s just a visual salad. 

And, as always, the jokes are good no matter what. I don’t think I’ll ever get over, “And I love you, random citizen!” This movie is such a fun time, please go watch it.

Originally posted by littlecubbie

5. Strange Magic

Have you heard of this movie? Well, now you have. Please go watch it. 

Much like Megamind, Strange Magic got pushed to the back burner by more popular movies coming out at the same time. And that’s just a shame, because it’s just so good.

It’s a jukebox musical with reenactments of all sorts of songs, all of which are brilliant (half the time because Evan Rachel Wood My Queen is singing them, but also Alan Cumming, and sometimes they sing together and I die). The story is predictable, but the characters are what make it for me. They’re fun enough that even though I saw the end coming a mile away, it was nothing but enjoyable watching them get there.

This fandom is also dear to my heart. It’s full of some of the sweetest people with some of the most interesting fan fiction that I’ve ever read. When I think good writing, I think @abutterflyobsession who has made me cry on more than one occasion, and @jaegereska whose lore and OCs add so much to the world beyond the movie. 

Major draws: good music, lovely animation, self-confidence story, princess with a sword, SWEET SWEET VENGEANCE, and did I mention singing by Evan Rachel Wood, Alan Cumming, and Kristin Chenoweth? Bruh.

Originally posted by deluxetrashqueen

6. Labyrinth

My favorite movie for now and always. Set it at the bottom for full effect. Get ready.

First off, music by David Bowie that is fuckin’ catchy as heck. If you don’t want to at least tap your foot along to ‘Dance Magic Dance’ you’re lying. ‘As the World Falls Down’ was the first song I remember wanting to know the lyrics to. 

Side note: If you didn’t think the Fireys were creepy as fuck, you’re also lying.

There has never been so much glitter in one place ever. The visual gags are always funny. Like, there are Bowie faces I still can’t find to this day hidden in the scenery??? The muppets are all adorable because Brian Froud is amazing, and I want a pet goblin. Everything is just so much fun to look at. Don’t even get me started on the ridiculous fantasy fulfillment that is the ballroom scene. I just. 

The jokes are always funny because they run on a dry sense of humor like mine. “Well, come on feet.” One I missed for years. “No, that’s the dead end, behind you!” Ha, hubris. “It’s a piece of cake!” Shut up, Sarah…

But you also can’t not love the characters? Like, come on, who doesn’t wanna hug Ludo just a little. And Didymus, the fox knight that rides a fuckin’ tiny dog into battle?? And Hoggle who collects jewelry and pretends to be bitter as hell but cares so much??? Heck off, they’re all awesome.

Fave movie. Always. 

Originally posted by jimhenson-muppetmaster

Honorable Mention: Big Fish

Added this one because I can watch this any time, but it always makes me cry, so I usually save it for when I need a good cry. (Srsly, @may10baby can vouch, I once tried to explain the end to her and started sobbing in the car).

It’s just such a cool story. We get to see the life of the father as told through his own hyperbolic stories, which include a star-studded cast playing funny scenes in between serious family time. And the end… christ, it’s just such a satisfying ending. Such a good play on storytelling and what it can mean to people. Which, as a writer, means a lot to me.

Also, it’s the only Tim Burton movie I’ve seen that doesn’t look like… that. You know. How Burton movies look. Helena Bonham Carter plays like 3 different people, and none of them are Mrs. Lovett. That’s a feat, honestly.

I’ve said this about a few of these, but please watch this movie.

Originally posted by wayofthinking

Ummm I guess I’m gonna send this along to the people I already tagged, @abutterflyobsession @jaegereska @may10baby and also @fandomizedwonderland @thetrendywitch @pkmndaisuki for shits and giggles.

Whizzer and Jason Headcanons

-I mean, they’re like best friends, but everyone already knows that.

-Whizzer ugly cried for an hour when Jason once accidentally called him dad. Then Whizzer proceeded to flip out because his face was all red and blotchy from the crying, he forced Marvin to go out and buy him some cucumbers for his puffy eyes.

-Whizzer once tried to teach Jason karate as self defense when Jason told him about a bully that was picking on him.

-Whizzer took Jason to pride with him because Marvin didn’t want to go, and now he takes Jason every year. It’s a tradition thing they have. 

-Whizzer and Cordelia always try to coax Jason into watching reality shows with them, and when he finally did watch an episode, he got really into it. 

-Whizzer and Jason make endless amounts of cookies, cakes, brownies, etc. It’s the main contents of Marvin’s fridge. 

-One time, Jason was on Whizzer’s laptop, being nosy, and he found gay porn. Jason has been traumatized ever since, and he couldn’t look at Whizzer for a week without blushing. He told Trina what happened, and Whizzer got screamed at. 

-Whizzer and Jason pull tons of pranks on Marvin. They put whip cream on his face when he’s sleeping, they once even put green hair dye in Marvin’s shampoo, and he got SO mad. This back lashed on Whizzer when Marvin put baby powder in his hair dryer. 

-Jason hid Whizzer’s hair products from him for a whole day and Whizzer literally sobbed when he couldn’t find them. Jason gave them back and apologized. 

-For Valentine’s Day, Whizzer helped Jason buy a gift for a girl he liked. When Jason got turned down by her, he and Whizzer ate ice cream on the couch and watched all of Jason’s favorite movies.

EXO as Boyfriends Headcanons

Lay:

  • Loves giving you flowers
  • He just thinks they are a super cheerful thing an you always light up when he gives them to you so he gets you flowers at least like 2 times a month
  • A lot of your dates are in parks
  • He likes laying and cuddling with you in the sunshine
  • He also loves seeing all the dogs, and seeing you pet dogs
  • The first thing he does when he gets home is kiss you
  • If you dance, you two dance together ALL THE TIME
  • If you don’t dance thats ok he likes to teach you
  • Dancing usually turns into make out time
  • And that also soon escalates… ;)
  • Would at some point want to get a dog with you
  • Lots of cuddles and sleepy mornings
  • Tries to watch rom coms with you but falls asleep
  • You cook he cleans up

Kyungsoo:

  • Not super into PDA
  • But loves cuddles behind closed doors
  • Likes watching movies with you
  • Loves when hes acting and you come onto set to surprise him
  • Loves cooking for you
  • Lowkey does everything for you
  • When he gets home from tour, the first thing is like he hugs you for a good 4 minutes
  • When you play with his lips, pretends to hate it but actually loves it
  • Really likes to play with your hair
  • If you’re ever gone for something, he may use your body wash
  • Loves singing with you and loves singing for you

Suho:

  • Loves buying you things
  • “Suho it’s not my birthday or anything”
  • “It’s just a small present love. I saw it and thought of you”
  • “Babe, its a gold necklace.”
  • “Yeah, small!!”
  • Very affectionate and cuddly
  • Likes when you sit in his lap around the boys so they don’t fuck with you
  • Really likes to show you off
  • Like he loves to take you to award shows and have you on his arm
  • Likes seeing you dressed up
  • Secretly gets jealous super easily
  • Loves when you “mother” EXO
  • Likes watching comedy’s with you cause he likes seeing you laugh
  • You two def have like, matching sweatpants
  • You make really bad jokes together and all of EXO groans

Kai:

  • Loves taking you to the dog park
  • Takes a ton of pictures with you hugging or cuddling his dogs
  • Loves when you cook
  • Really likes going on night drives with you
  • He loves that you love his laugh
  • Also you make him feel much better about his skin tone
  • Like he gets a lot of crap for his skin tone but the fact that you love it makes him so happy
  • If you don’t dance he would teach you how to dance
  • If you do dance, oh boy
  • You two would spend so much time dancing
  • And it would like 80% of the time lead to sex
  • He loves teasing the rest of EXO about the fact that he has a gf
  • Really really loves those mornings where you two don’t have to do anything and just spend the day in bed with each other
  • Loves taking you on dinner dates in like little mom and pop dinner places that are quiet

Sehun:

  • Really likes helping you pick out your outfits
  • Loves watching you play with vivi
  • He once told you he thought he loved you more than vi and you actually fainted
  • Laughs at you a lot when you make mistakes but will then hug you and kiss your forehead
  • Likes matching fashion
  • So like you have the same beanie
  • He lets you paint his nails when you’re bored
  • But only if he likes the color
  • Likes taking you on adventures
  • Which is basically like, walks in weird places late at night
  • Sassing competitions
  • “Stop being so whiny”
  • “I’ll stop when you stop being annoying”
  • “I think you’re mistaking m for you again”
  • You know neither of you mean it, its just fun
  • The rest of EXO is so confused by this
  • Likes posting super aesthetic pictures of you on insta

Xiumin:

  • A relationship with him is so chill
  • Lots of cuddles
  • Both of you being super cute together
  • Both being very good at aeygo and using it to your advantage
  • Suckering Suho into ordering pizza with puffy cheeks
  • You two will sometimes play pranks on members then blame it on the Beagle Line
  • No one has realized it’s you two yet. They suspect nothing
  • Taking bets on the members behavior
  • “Who do you think is gonna trip first”
  • “Baek”
  • “20?”
  • “Sure” Thud “Pay up”
  • Treats you like a princess
  • Brings you back trinkets from travels
  • Likes when you somehow style his clothes into your everyday outfits
  • Got you a necklace with an ‘X’ on it

Baekhyun:

  • So many pranks
  • You often find yourselves pranking each other during prank wars
  • You and Chen vs, Chan and Baek
  • Chanyeol basically living at your house
  • He also knows like, everything about yours and baek’s relationship
  • “So Y/N I heard you wore that bla…”
  • You throw a pillow at him
  • You two go on like lots of walks together
  • He also really likes taking you to playgrounds at night and playing on them
  • Laughs a lot when you try to learn EXO dances
  • Likes singing with you and having singing battles
  • Lots of playful cuddles and tickle fights
  • Blanket forts and movie nights which result in popcorn everywhere and Baek cleaning it up
  • Likes to do your make up
  • You make breakfast on weekends to wake him up
  • “Baek, I have bacon”
  • He comes running out of your room
  • Likes to play with your hands when you two are sitting together

Chanyeol:

  • He loves going to pet stores with you for dates
  • He loves spooning you
  • You have at least 6 matching snapbacks
  • Insists he has to be your ultimate bias and won’t accept if its anyone else
  • Likes to have rap battles and when you beat him he just completely ignores that fact
  • “I won!!”
  • “Actually bab-….”
  • “Stop being such a sore loser jagiya”
  • Surprisingly good at cooking
  • Sucks at baking though
  • You tried to back together once….
  • There is still cake batter on the ceiling
  • Whines when you say another member is a good singer or rapper
  • Baekhyun is always over
  • You once walked in on Baek and Chan spooning
  • You took a picture and sent it to all of EXO and made it CHanyeol’s screensaver
  • When he annoys you, you give him the silence treatment and he automatically does anything he can to make it better
  • Fucks with you by putting everything on the top shelves
  • Tells you to bring him snacks at practices a lot
  • Won’t let you get out of bed in the mornings

Chen:

  • Half of your texts are memes
  • Likes to take cute pictures of you when you aren’t paying attention
  • Tickles you a lot
  • He once put baby powder in your blow dryer
  • The next morning he woke up on his mattress in the middle of a lake
  • He earned his lesson about taking pranks too far
  • You two are really good at pranking the rest of the Beagle Line
  • He tries to play pranks on Suho but you foil them
  • “Ahhhhhh Why’d you ruin it!!??”
  • “Because you need to respect your mother!!”
  • Impresses you with his high notes
  • Also does them to annoy you
  • Usually wakes you up on weekends by bouncing on the bed
  • At least until you offer up more cuddles
  • Then he lays back down
  • Likes to make you breakfast in bed
  • Loves coffee shop dates or like poetry slam dates
  • Tried to write you poetry once but it got naughty real quick
  • It turned into a haiku about your boobs
  • You still have it

Please request!! Thanks for reading kittens!! <3

Being Best Friends with the Maknae Line – Pentagon

A/N: Okay so this was requested sooo long ago and I finally did it and I’m rjbgdjbf the thought is so amazing

Originally posted by jungwooseok-ptg

  • You’re in for a wild ride, let me tell you that
  • You’ll get Japanese lessons from Yuto to insult the other two behind their backs
  • But Hyunggu knows a bit of the language so he jumps you if he understands anything
  • And you’re rolling around on the floor, lowkey fighting each other
  • Wooseok and Yuto are just staring at the event from the sidelines
  • “Should we stop them.”
  • “After I’m done snapchatting this.”
  • Ten minutes later you’re joking around and laughing with Hyunggu just as before
  • You’d have an unlimited amount of personal piggy-back givers
  • If you’re going out on a date, they would all come over to pep-talk you and judge your outfit
  • “Remember, Y/N, you’re the boss.”
  • “Blow them away.”
  • “Go get ‘em tiger.”
  • They would insist driving you to the date, but you would have to refuse because No THAT’S AWKWARD
  • The day after they want all the details
  • And if you’re like ‘they weren’t for me’, Wooseok would shoot in ‘did you at least bang them?’
  • And Yuto gives him the most disgusted look and hits the back of his head
  • Hyunggu is just laughing at Wooseok’s comment along with you
  • Yuto would force everyone to go on a trip to Japan
  • But it would be so fun and hilarious
  • So many dumb and fake artsy candid pictures
  • And trying out weird food, making fun of each other in the moment
  • Being excited over little things, like buying ice cream or blowing bubbles
  • How old are these guys again? 19 or 9?
  • Hotel room shenanigans
  • Like calling room service using a really weird voice or filling the bathtub with an excessive amount of foam
  • FOAM FIGHT
  • Then you all pass out at 3am and wake up way too late the next morning, almost missing your plane
  • They would protect you at all times
  • If you were out on a bar or a club and someone sketchy tried to hit on you, they would crowd around them, making them uncomfortable so they walk away from you
  • “Thank you, I thought I was gonna’ die from a moment there.”
  • “The three musketeers are always at service.”
  • They’ll definitely try to set you up with one of the other Pentagon members
  • But their standards for you are just too high so apparently ‘none of them are worthy of your highness’.
  • Overly dramatic about anything happening to you, good or bad
  • You graduated? Big party, lots of gifts! A giant cake with the writing ‘congrats, you’re a genius on it’
  • You’ve caught a cold? Rescue party, plushies, soup and medicine all on your door
  • Any of them would be up for platonic cuddles if you were sad
  • Or they would all come over with pizza and ice cream and put on a funny movie
  • Okay I’m not gonna’ lie, you will probably end up dating one of them
  • Suddenly the cuddles aren’t with everyone
  • And they aren’t as platonic
  • And you start spending time with that specific one of them
  • It being really nice and feeling safe, but it doesn’t only feel ‘friendly’
  • Suddenly one night, he kisses you
  • The rest just evolves from there – but really naturally
  • Then when all of you hang out again, the two others are really suspicious
  • “Are you two … having a thing?”
  • Then you panic
  • “What NO NO, no with him – nooooo.”
  • “Oh my god, you totally are, freaking finally.”
  • But it still doesn’t get awkward being best friends with all of them, they’re just as close as before and you will always love all of them
  • The other way around too
endurance

pairing: chanyeol x reader

genre: angst ft a tiny bit of fluff

words: 10.7k

description: you’re in love with chanyeol. you know. his girlfriend knows. the universe knows. does he?

Originally posted by scartic

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A birthday gift for @hily-shot​, who put the idea of a secret admirer fic in my head forever ago, even if she probably doesn’t remember it now. Happy birthday, my smol friend. <3 

(destiel, punk!Cas and jock!Dean, hs!au, 3k)

AO3

For the third day in a row, there’s a sticky note on Castiel’s locker. It’s innocuous in and of itself, but also bright pink and impossible to miss what with the way the color contrasts with the dull, grey lockers. Castiel sees it long before he reaches it, the sight both making his blood boil and sending butterflies bursting through his stomach.

He hates it.

He snatches the note off of the locker’s metal surface as quickly as he can, knowing Meg isn’t far behind him and not wanting her to see. He shields the small paper with his palms while he reads it.

Cas—

Your hair looks good today. It looks soft. I want to run my fingers through it.

Castiel rolls his eyes, even as his cheeks burn with a blush. He can’t decide if this one is better or worse than the last; it certainly isn’t as embarrassing as the first had been. But that doesn’t mean he wants anyone to know about them—he opens his locker and shoves the note into the back, stashing it behind a never-used chemistry textbook with the previous notes. He doesn’t want to see them, doesn’t want to acknowledge their existence.

He’s not sure which of his ‘friends’ is behind the stupid prank, but he’s taken a ‘guilty until proven innocent’ stance for the time being, and hates them all for it equally. He knows it’s not Meg—she’s sweet on him, she wouldn’t mess with him in this way—but it could very well be Balthazar, or Raphael, or Bart, or Uriel, or even some combination of those dicks working together. He wouldn’t be surprised.

After all, it’s not like anyone would seriously leave these kinds of messages for him (no matter how endearing the sentiment might be, or how his stomach still twists like it is real, despite his belief of the opposite). Castiel isn’t the only ‘punk’ in the school, the only one with tattoos and piercings and a unique ability to make teachers hate him—his ‘friends’ also tend to fall in that category, to various degrees, which is the only reason Castiel aligns himself with them in the first place. He is, however, the only one who’s gay. He’s not the token in the school, but he’s the token in his own clique, and that’s what brings the hellfire down on him. His friends aren’t homophobic, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t other ways to harass him.

But no one on the outside of their group would ever take an interest in him, and certainly no one would have such nice things to say about him.

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TAZ college AU birthday headcanons

-Magnus always gives little hand-carved and painted figurines as gifts. One time he carved a tiny Killian deadlifting Carey overhead, and Killian had to scrunch up her face very hard to hide tears.
-On Merle’s birthday, he walks into the dorm to find a ridiculous display of “over the hill” themed decorations. Everyone has either grown or bought a beard.
-On Magnus’s birthday, Taako bakes the most ridiculous three tier cake. He also makes a second cake. You know, for everyone else to eat. Because Magnus’s cake usually doesn’t even survive the hour before he’s demolished it.
-Taako and Lup pretend to hate joint birthdays, but they love them. One year the gang all go into Chuck E. Cheese, barely being allowed in by claiming they’re all Angus’s chaperone. Magnus gets so mad at the Spider Stompin’ game he almost cracks one of the light up bubbles. Angus wins the most tickets by using probability calculation. Carey puts him on his shoulders so he can shoot baskets. Taako tries to rig the ticket dispenser.
-On Lucretia’s birthday, she is on red fucking alert for mischief. She makes it through the day unpranked and starts to get suspicious. When she gets back home, she finds a box on her desk. Inside is the most beautiful fountain pen she’s ever seen.
-On Killian’s birthday, Carey proposes.

Can You Hear Me Now? {Michael Mell x Reader Soulmate AU}

request:  Michael Mell x Female!Reader smut with a soulmate AU? Like Telekinesis… they can hear each others thoughts when they want to, but they can only hear the other persons words in their own inner-voice so they don’t know who it is? And it just starts at the same time as your soulmate, so you both get this TERRIBLE headache. Maybe he realizes it because (Y/N) is the lead in the musical and she’s going over lines, or maybe she’s the jokester and her wit is going at 100 miles a minute? ILY!!❤️

oh my god it took so long but here it is!!!! i hope this is what you wanted because i love my sweet mell!!

warnings: swearing, smut smUT SMUT

word count: 2800




Fuck the fucking thoughts in your damn head. Fuck the asshole who was constantly rick-rolling you, fuck the moron who literally had the Duck-Tales theme stuck in his head all the time.

Your soul mate’s thoughts had been invading yours for such a long time that you’d just learned to accept them. It wasn’t as though you could do anything to make them stop. You’d tried to make your thoughts louder, sharper,  and even those most private ones that you tried to hide- but nothing would shut them up.

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