they all have extreme self loathing

INTJs + Enneagrams
  • INTJ 1: The "Get shit done" INTJ. Very disciplined and eager to realize all of their dreams (and to impose their dreams on everyone around them). Full of nervous energy. Needs to seriously take a chill pill every once in a while.
  • INTJ 2: The weirdest INTJ you will ever know. They alternate between loving everyone and hating everyone with equal fervor. Loving others with so much intensity feels like a constant noose around their necks. (Note: Many INTJ 2s get mistyped as INFJ).
  • INTJ 3: The "Disney Villain" in the flesh. Comes across as very vain and eager to manipulate others to further their own success. Tend to have very low empathy and might often fake their feelings. Don't ever get on their bad side lest you're prepared to suffer the consequences.
  • INTJ 4: The most creative of any INTJ type; many of them are musicians, actors or visual artists. They struggle from an unstable sense of identity and might frequently seek approval from others, something most INTJs rarely do. May display symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder.
  • INTJ 5: The "know-it-all" intellectual who legitimately is smarter than most of the people they're around. Enjoys literature, esoteric studies, and can't stand simplicity or ignorance in others. Can be arrogant and overly judgmental, sometimes even narcissistic. (Note: Most INTJs test as enneagram 5).
  • INTJ 6: The fearful watchdog with obsessive-compulsive behavior patterns. They are prone to bouts of paranoia and worrying that "the world is out to get them". Tend to be loners and have trouble making or keeping friends.
  • INTJ 7: The walking contradiction - thoughtful yet spontaneous, cautious yet erratic in their decision making. They love to be challenged but can often take their challenging nature to unpleasant extremes. May have marked psychopathic or sociopathic traits.
  • INTJ 8: The (not so) quiet storm. Very turbulent mood swings and unpredictable behavior patterns. They are either your best friend or your worst enemy; there is no in-between. They use their words to wound those who cross them, not their fists.
  • INTJ 9: The mopey rain cloud. Depressed, unmotivated, and just trying to "go through the motions" of life. Their "who cares" demeanor is a flimsy cover for all the self-loathing they carry around inside. Can be overly clingy or controlling with people who manage to earn their trust.
Drowning in You

Summary (kind of spoilers?): Dan is the BAMFy popular boy, Phil is the quiet nerd. Dan secretly really likes him, so he always teases him and calls him names. One day Phil is fed up, so when Dan calls him a stalker he replies and gets really close to Dan and says “Would you call this stalking?” to make him uncomfortable. 
Prompt from Phanfic
Word Count
: 1552
Warnings: Cussing

Dan knew he was fucked the very first time he saw him.

Black hair, the colour of a raven’s wing, was always soft-looking and covered pretty blue eyes that reminded Dan of the sky on a sunny day. His lips, which were pink and soft, were in a sort of permanent smirk against pale skin that stood out on the rare days that he wore thick black glasses that slid down his nose while he lost himself in various books.

And it was the first time that Dan felt his heart race at the sight of another boy, but this stranger was an angel and Dan would die every day if it meant he could see him.

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anonymous asked:

Who's the character you relate to the most? :)


i guess i relate to (what is my personal interpretation of) dirk the most??

like. a person who cares deeply about his friends but somehow simultaneously doesn’t trust them enough to let them know that he isn’t infallible. who wants and tries to have a sense of control but is fucking bad at pulling plans into order, and frankly just panics when things don’t go right. who hides a lot of deep self-loathing behind a facade of extreme competency, who obviously deals with some level of depression/anxiety but is high functioning, and would rather die than let the people around him know that he doesn’t have it all 100% covered

/shrugs i could be totally off the mark here but. you asked.

also this:

It seems rather common for transgender people to have experiences with (childhood) abuse, trauma, mental illnesses and other such negative psychological experiences. I don’t know in how far it actually is common, but it’s something I’ve seen discussed quite often on Tumblr, and it made me think.

I’ve seen people wonder how the two tied together – and if they were transgender because of those other issues or experiences. I think it’s the other way around.

So we have a child who developed transsexualism, presumably even before birth or possibly it only fully developed in their earliest childhood years. They may not be aware of it yet, perhaps not for many more years, but that doesn’t change the fact that those feelings are there. Feelings of confusion, being out of touch with their own body and/or identity, feeling “different” from everyone else, having a hard time connecting with others. That makes them vulnerable. It makes them the ideal target for a manipulative person. They naturally have issues that make them easy to shame, guilt trip, bully, manipulate. It puts them at a higher risk for developing those other issues.

Even if a transgender person went through childhood without abusive experiences, during puberty their extreme body issues may cause self-esteem problems worse than in the average teen. There may be more severe feelings of shame, self-loathing, depression, difficulty making contact. Those are all things that, again, put the transgender person at a higher risk for being abused.

I don’t believe transgender people are statistically any more likely to be born to, or be around, abusive people. I think they are just born psychologically vulnerable, and abusive types can sense that.

anonymous asked:

Do you think Yuuki resemble Ichiru in some ways? I mean both of them desire strongly back to one's body to end their lives.Ichiru does love Hiou but if let him choose a way of death I think he'll still choose to go back to zero even Hiou didn't dead

I actually always thought there were more similarities between Yuuki and Zero in regards to their relationship with their sibling, particularly the detrimental selflessness they displayed in comparison to their siblings selfishness. Like, Yuuki and Zero were both very blinded to the flaws of their sibling despite others being able to see it more clearly, and they were more self-sacrificing in their relationship. I saw Zero and Yuuki both as kindhearted people who were, intentionally or not, taken advantage of, whereas Ichiru and Kaname, while perhaps wanting to be kindhearted, had a darkness in them. 

Of course, Yuuki these days is a shadow of her former self and is beginning to share some similarities with Kaname that I didn’t notice before, so I could definitely see her beginning to share some similarities with Ichiru as well. She’s become a little selfish in her relationships, going from one extreme to the other. She’s also had some issues with self-loathing to deal with, and suicidal thoughts. 

I can see some similarities between Ichiru and Yuuki’s desire to return to Zero/Kaname, and I can see some differences as well. The similarities being that both characters came to believe that they should have never existed at all, and wished to erase that existence. In Ichiru’s case - and this is where he differs from Yuuki - he eventually came to believe that he and Zero should never have been separated, and that Zero should have devoured him in the womb after all. He decides to stop “defying” their destiny and complete it the way it was meant to be completed. Yuuki’s destiny, on the other hand, was to be with Kaname. And she came to believe she failed that, because of her feelings for Zero and her inability to fully commit her heart to Kaname in their relationship which led to Kaname’s “death.” So a lot of her desire - the desire to turn Kaname back into a human - comes from wanting to repay him somehow in a way she couldn’t before. It’s important to note how confused she seems by her desire to return to Kaname, how it plagues her thoughts and endlessly returns to her. If it was about a vampire love, she wouldn’t be confused, because she’s experienced that kind of desire before. But, that’s just my opinion.

A Warning Regarding Shadow Work

When you decide to make conscious attempts to explore the “dark”, hidden aspects of your being, it’s important to be well aware of how very difficult this practice tends to be before ever commencing. Once you start, you’ll begin to realize exactly what I mean, especially if you engage in any prolonged attempts. You must continuously make great efforts to remain acutely conscientious, reminding yourself of all the tricks your shadow will play and the traps it will set. Initially, it will not want you to pry into its domain and so it is not only exceedingly defensive, but highly aggressive sometimes as well. You will most certainly go through an initiatory process, which can be depressing, frightening and exhausting. 

With this in mind, it is essential to alternate between shadow work and light work alike, which I don’t feel I have stressed enough. How often you go back and forth and the amount of time you spend doing each is entirely up to you. Sometimes you may feel determined enough to practice shadow work rather consistently for months at a time. Other times you may only want to experience brief sessions geared towards a specific objective. What’s important is to be sure to take sufficient time to recover from the heaviness that accompanies shadow work whenever necessary. 

From My Experience 

If you’re like me, you may become somewhat obsessed with everything that’s been lurking in the shadows. It’s like discovering a dark, mysterious cave and setting forth to explore it– your curiosity may get the best of you and could lead you far into caverns without a second thought about coming back out to obtain the “supplies” necessary to make furthering your journey possible. You can’t explore this “cave” indefinitely; you have to come out and get some sunlight from time to time, to regain your bearings and replenish your provisions, or else you could very well become disoriented, get lost in the depths and whither away. 

This comes to mind because I acknowledge that I have been doing shadow work persistently for over a year now and I am noticing that I’ve allotted myself very little time to rest and replenish. I just keep wanting to zealously tread forward and expose all that is hidden. Not only has this been extremely exhausting, it’s been depressing. My mental state has sort of deteriorated to be frank; a great sense of self-loathing comes over me quite regularly. Needless to say, I have quite a bit of work to do, but I can’t keep making progress if I’m neglecting my need for “sunlight”– for positive reinforcement and encouraging affirmations. 

Of course, I realize a lot of this discomfort is self-inflicted and I’m confident that I am able-minded enough to get through it, but sometimes I feel myself slipping. Just today I found myself writing, “Anytime I think I’ve reached an epiphany of sorts I am just bombarded with bullshit, as if my subconscious is laughing and taunting me saying, ‘Haha! You’re never going to get past this shit. This is your life now, here in the dark with me.’ I feel like utter shit, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Nothing I do or don’t do helps anything. I’m just stranded in this black hole of my own psyche with no means of pulling myself out. I feel fucking helpless.” 

After writing this, I snapped to the fact that what I’m feeling is a pitfall my shadow has created to deter me from making any more progress. And although it is daunting, I know I can get past it, but not without adequate rest. Anyway, I just wanted this post to serve as fair warning to everyone as well as a reminder for myself. I will likely work on creating some “light work” posts and focus on doing a bit more of that for a little while. 

Best wishes!

Non-intelligent box said 175!!!!!
Happy 8 month anniversary to me!! I have lost 79 pounds since August 1, 2014. When I began 8 months ago, at 254 pounds I said my goal range was 175-150 pounds. I love myself, and am so proud of all of my hard work. Happy and grateful! Xoxo

Small Flaws Your Sign (probably) Has (mainly based on people I know)

Aries: being a lil impatient with people

Taurus: just not caring about really important things

Gemini: rambling n talking over u sometimes and not letting you have a chance to speak

Cancer: ranting (to you) too much or too little

Leo: either overly confident or self loathes a lot (there are instances where some people ik are in the middle)

Virgo: complainiNG (a LOT) w/o realising it OR not complaining at all about things that are really important

Libra: constantly wanting to get their way and acting out when they don’t

Scorpio: really intimidating without meaning to be

Sagittarius: being extremely emotionally cold to the point where literally no one knows how they feel or what they’re thinking (at all)

Capricorn: easily becoming obsessed with things; to the point where it interrupts their day

Aquarius: nothing wrong with u ily

Pisces: extremely emotional (the opposite of Sagittarius) and sometimes fake deep

anonymous asked:

What does an evil!alex look like?

         That would depend on what caused her to turn evil. Say something like losing Kara could potentially push her over the edge. Physically, I imagine she’d have unruly hair and more scars on her body (than the one on her shoulder from the explosion) from all the times she’s been too careless. mentally, she’d be a literal ball of self-loathing and guilt, extremely vindictive and reckless.

wanderingrestlessly  asked:

i think if bilbo died and thorin wrote the story, it'd be darker. he wouldn't be the hero of his own story - bilbo would. and he'd probably talk bad about himself and exaggerate his flaws and failures. and oh god, the guilt and horror that would permeate the chapters on the gold sickness - i dunno if he'd go into extreme detail or gloss over it, but whoever read it would almost be able to taste the regret, shame, and self-loathing. he probably wouldn't gloss over anything tho, so bilbo's (1/2)

(2/2) death wouldn’t be in vain. and if fili and kili still died, then we’d have a chapter on how he told dis and the heartbreak of it all. if thorin retold the story and bilbo died instead of him, i don’t think there’d be any hope at all in the tone after botfa. BUT before all that there’d be bits of achingly sweet thoughts on bilbo and how the hobbit grew on him like a vine that he never wanted to prune. and i’d like to think he’d put in a lot of plant metaphors in honor of his hobbit

When I was young and I lost the mountain, when I had lost my family, I thought to myself that I would never experience a greater grief. 

It was not the first time in my life that I had been wrong.

It was in Bilbo’s final moments that I came to know that the treasure hoard of Thrór  was of no value to me. There would be no amount of gold to replace him, no amount of gold to take away the ache that was now a permanent fixture in my heart. Carved in there like the great pillars that line Erebor’s halls, hard and never moving. 

(also on ao3)

He’s been staring at the ceiling for an hour, jaw tight, neck-deep in self-pity and misery, when the phone rings. In one fluid movement, he rolls over, grabs the phone from where it lies next to the facedown photo on his nightstand, and unthinkingly thumbs over the ‘accept call’.

“Hello, Dean.”

Cas’s voice is rough and familiar in his ears and Dean, so stone-faced and numb only a moment ago, finds himself precariously close to breaking. He just breathes for a moment, not trusting himself to speak.

More hesitantly this time, Cas’s voice crackles through the speaker again. “Dean?”

“Why do you keep coming back?” He didn’t plan on asking this, doesn’t know what kind of answer he wants. Doesn’t know whether he’s looking for hope or an excuse to pick a fight, push Cas away for good. Both thoughts are equal measures of terrifying, though for entirely different reasons. “I mean, you always leave, and I get that part.” Who’d want to stick around and put up with his shit? His own mother hadn’t lasted more than a month. “But you keep coming back.” His voice cracks on the last word. Cas’s understanding of him always feels like it’s in extremes: sometimes Dean feels as though Cas can look into him and see every atom, look past every ounce of self-loathing and posturing and macho bullshit and all but read his every thought. But other times, it’s like he doesn’t have a fucking clue and Dean desperately hopes this time it’s the latter, that Cas can’t hear how quickly Dean’s threadbare heart is unraveling.

There’s a long, unbearable pause. Dean is a split second away from just hanging up and erasing this whole disaster from his memory when a long, staticky sigh breaks the quiet. “Mary left, didn’t she.”

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Peter’s I find hard to pin down. I think it lies in: What does Peter need power for?

Maybe they straight up handed it to us. The part of the story told by Cora in “Visionary” probably isn’t a part that Peter would just hand out. Especially to Stiles. Who hates that guy.


In “Visionary”, the narrators may be unreliable, but the visuals seem to authentically represent the action that went down back when, and the first scene sets up Peter’s motives for what we witness the rest of the episode.

The prelude focuses on Derek’s fear of the hunters, and Peter’s fear for Derek.

I don’t think this is his only motive in the episode. He’s terminally incapable of actually talking about anybody but himself, and he makes his motives as he consciously or subconsciously understands them clear:

Cora: Ennis? Why would he choose him?
Peter: Why not? Ennis needed a new member for his pack. Paige was young and strong. Doing a favor for Derek meant Ennis would be in good with Talia. Back then, everybody wanted to be in good with her.

In pursuit of his goal, he learns something else: Derek’s kinda a giant, lil’ bit pig-headed derp. One that needs protection.

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majeh116  asked:

Hey Neni! Was wondering your stance on this. We have all naturally seen how the IT grow and evolve throughout their adventures but I was wondering. How do you think they would have developed as people if they had never met? What do you think would happen to narukami if he never went to inaba and the rest of the crew never really became friends? Thanks!

I think Yu would just have had a very boring, if not downright sad life. The way he looks in the prologue is very telling, he’s clearly someone who’s used to being shoved around at his parents whims, and both, the Anime and Manga, subscribe to the idea that the protagonist was never able to make proper friends because of his constant moving around. To be honest, knowing that Yu and Adachi are clearly meant to intentionally mirror each other and seeing how Adachi’s friendless, very parent-focused upbringing ended up affecting his emotional development (That’s to say, his emotional maturity is next to none-existent), I’d imagine Yu growing up friendless and constantly just doing what his parents claim is good for him might have turned him into a very cynical, bitter and maybe even malicious person as well. I’m not saying he’d have ended up exactly the same as Adachi, but he’d at very ended up in a very similar internal spiral of self-inflicted misery.

Yosuke wouldn’t have been quite as bad off, but he’d definitely stayed a whole lot less mature, always just focused on clique-behavior and fitting in with his peers, superficial and never actually trying to act on his ambitions because he may be outgoing, but also has the self-esteem of a sponge. He’d probably ended up with very similar feelings of resentment as Saki, internally feeling he’s just bothering with everyone because he’d be miserable otherwise, and developing a lot of loathing for his parents and Junes as the isolation for it continued. I don’t think that version of Yosuke would ever have made strong friendships, especially after Saki’s death. He would never have found the motivation to go to college either. I can see him just part timing and helping out at Junes for years, still secretly hoping that one day something exciting will happen in his life that changes everything, because he feels powerless to do anything on his own and doesn’t trust in people to accept him if he’s anything other than superficial.

Chie would just have continued exactly as she was, with her inferiority-superiority-complex festering on and on. Eventually, this would probably caused her to have a bad fall-out with Yukiko… And I’m not sure what would have happened after that. Given how the two of them were pretty co-dependent in their relationship, I’d imagine they’d have “made up” just out of the terror of being helpless with each other, but their trust and comfort around each other would have been permanently damaged. Probably, Chie would continue to just be constantly insecure about both, her strength and her femininity, festering to the point that she might eventually have developed anxiety issues because of it. I can see her life really going south for a while because of that, but she would probably have pulled out and gone on to live a pretty average life, without the resolve to become a police officer. Maybe eventually she would have just given up on her hobbies, doing them off as a “childish phase”, because she’s so unhappy with herself and just wants to fit in.

Yukiko… would have been unhappy. Really unhappy, always feeling like the inn was forced onto her rather than something she helps with because she loves it. Fighting with Chie and not feeling comfortable around her anymore would only have made it worse, she would have always felt helpless. I don’t know what she would have done, but most likely she’d just have lived her life quietly accepting everything and, oh, Chie doesn’t want to be my friend anymore, OK then, and now high school is over and I’m not even going to college and now I’m in inn-training and people just come and pass and I’m just doing stuff because I have to… Maybe eventually she’d have found her passion for leading the inn, but it would have taken a lot longer than it did in canon. She would have needed years to figure herself out first. 

Kanji would have gone on with his delinquent lifestyle until he eventually does something really, REALLY stupid and ended up actually doing time for that. Honestly, he’d just have spiraled downwards, on and on, all the way. In his despair for acceptance, he might even have joined gangs eventually, and, I’m not gonna lie, I can see him do drugs just to escape all his self-loathing and unhappiness. He would have been endlessly unhappy without finding friends and being told that he’s allowed to like what he likes without being “gross” or “worthless” for it. He’s just extremely sensitive and wouldn’t have been able to take it all for much longer. It’s the people who are the sweetest inside who will do the most extreme things when their emotions get too much for them.

Rise… Honestly, with what I know about the idol industry, I think the options with her would have been to either quit the business and live forever in regret and bitterness, maybe eventually even becoming a Hikikomori because she can’t take people recognizing her on the street and reminding her of how she “failed” anymore, or… She might have gone back to the business just because she couldn’t take the regret, but without having worked out her issues, and ended up… like Yuko Osada from P4D. And the less said about what happened to Yuko, the better, I think.

Naoto would have gone on with her job, enjoying it like she does, but she’d have probably become more and more aggressive in personality as the years went by, just out of frustration with people not taking her for full and to compensate for her frail physical stature. I can actually see her becoming a little Kanji-ish as a result of this eventually, asserting her “power” more and more through yelling and insulting the people around her, intentionally acting intimidating so nobody would disrespect or belittle her any longer. She would have been a great and feared detective, but also lonely, because nobody wants to hang out with someone who hisses at every mistake and will criticize you for every little failing in your entire life, just to assert herself in her superiority to you. Her Social Anxiety definitely wouldn’t have helped there either, and she’d probably have become known for seeing conspiracies against her behind every corner, despite her brilliant mind…

Teddie probably wouldn’t have lived for very long. No, I’m not even kidding.He’d have been a dead bear walking. His whole existence was an anomaly created from a spark of desire to be loved by someone. Without anyone around to humor that desire, the spark would eventually just have flickered out again. Unless the universe somehow had bigger plans for him, he would have slowly deteriorated back into a mindless Shadow and would have fallen apart. His whole existence wouldn’t have been possible without people to connect to him. A couple of years longer and he’d just have faded away, like he’d never been there in first place.

anonymous asked:

Kae how does it feel to know your girlfriend has come back to the UK to see her family but really stab you in the back and cheat on you ?


We’ve noticed you, little anon. And now is your chance to shine.

You see, you’ve given us quite the giggle. Over the last few weeks, your endless messages have had us beside ourselves with laughter. And we don’t mean the occasional snort here and there. We’re talking the side-splitting, hand-clasping, gasping-for-breath kind of laughter that makes us pee our pants a little. So thank you for that!

Gratefulness aside, though, we wanted to give you some little tips. You’re obviously very keen, but you’re also naïve. An amateur, if you will. It’s clear that you haven’t been doing this for very long, but you’re passionate, determined, and extremely, extremely persistent. Traits like these are hard to come by. If you nurture these traits… train them… discipline them… then you might still have a chance to be a star. You don’t want to end up like Sylvia.

So next time the all too familiar feelings of self-pity, self-loathing and despair start to gnaw at your insides, and your fingers start twitching with the urge to send anonymous messages to people saying things you would never dare say to their faces if the moment ever arose, remember these top tips!

1. Your misuse of grammar is giving you away. You have a trademark, you see. You probably hadn’t even noticed it, had you?! Silly billy! Here’s the thing: we know it’s you when your message has a space before a question mark. You also overuse ellipses. The previous 7 messages you sent to us (minutes after you sent this one – we have a time tracker!) contained so many ellipses that we went cross-eyed. So change up your grammar! Your English teacher would rap you on the knuckles with her ruler if she could see you now.

2. Be imaginative. The asks you’ve been sending us are always centred around the SAME damn topic. Boring. Think of something different. Use your brain. Come on, I’ll give you some examples of some good rumours we could start together to get you thinking:

  • Kaelyn isn’t real. She never was real and never will be. She’s a figment of all of our imaginations… a fantasy, if you will, constructed by Lucy when she was trying to build The Perfect Girlfriend. Anyone who claims to have ‘met’ her in real life, has actually only ever met the computer generated hologram.
  • Lucy’s real name is actually Amy. She’s French, enjoys sports, and LOVES boys.

Okay, you get the picture. Be original, dude. Come on.

3. Our last tip is to send your anonymous messages on ‘incognito’ mode. It hides your IP address. Which we have now. Oops. Silly you!

Lots of love! And good luck.

I’m... I’m trying really hard to not get mad.

This is a dinosaur blog, as we all know. Obviously. 

Dinosaurs are studied by paleontologists, and aid in our understanding of evolutionary biology. 

So, a lot of different subjects have a place on the blog. Paleontology, the history of the Earth, evolution, and therefore, conservationism, including the current Mass Extinction event. After all, we wouldn’t understand today’s mass extinction if we didn’t heavily study the ones in the past - including the one that killed all non-avian dinosaurs. 

So, that means what I’m about to say has a place on this blog. 

I have a personal blog. I will not say what it is here, simply because I like to keep it relatively private for a variety of reasons. 

Holy crap, my hands are actually shaking a little, but I’m going to keep going. 

I am white. I know that this means I have extensive privilege and power in society. I hate that. I work hard to support a variety of causes to works to actively dismantle this power structure; in these causes, I do my very best to not speak out on issues, but rather support members of racial minorities - aka, I do not try to talk over them. I am a part of a few oppressed groups myself, and I never would want to speak for a community that I am not a part of, because I know the feeling. I simply lend my support to the community and take part in events where I live, such as lie-ins on my college campus, and protests in Chicago over what has been happening in Ferguson. Those who follow my personal are aware that I have blogged heavily about racism in America and the terrible affects of police brutality on black people, as well as other relevant issues. I know that saying #alllivesmatter is actually complete crap and misses the damn point. I am aware that I make mistakes myself and am constantly learning and growing as a person and a supporter of the POC community. I am not a perfect person, and I am affected by the power structures i am a part of, and constantly have to modify my worldview to dismantle these effects on my personality and knowledgebase. 

However, I do not blog about these things here, because this blog is not about that. This blog is about dinosaurs and evolution. 

Given this disclaimer, I realize I am not perfect, and I apologize for that in advance, but I have to say this. 

You know what also sucks, but I hardly ever see posts about on tumblr? That’s right: climate change and the global biodiversity crisis. We are in the middle of a sixth mass extinction, or at least, there is a good chunk of data that suggests we are. There is some debate, but if we aren’t in the middle of a mass extinction, we’re definitely going to be if we don’t try and solve the problems currently going on in society. 

Humans - on the whole, regardless of country, affluence, race, sexuality, gender, gender orientation, religion, mental health, physical health, education level… - are exceptionally tied into our planet’s ecology. We literally depend on it for our existence. We are a specialized species, more so than I think any of us realize. We greatly depend on our biosphere remaining stable (aka: no mass extinction) for our own survival. If an extinction occurs, we are in grave danger of going extinct, regardless of how much the population grows (I’d argue our exponential growth curve actually makes it worse). 

If the planet goes to shit, we are all going to to die

No one wants this. No one actually wants humanity to go extinct, extreme nihilism and self-loathing aside. We all like our existence. If we didn’t want the continuation of humanity, we wouldn’t be so passionate about making our society better

Lots of things have contributed to this crisis. Deforestation, excessive expansionism and population growth, the monoculturalization of habitats both for landscaping purposes and farmland, overhunting and fishing, pollution… and of course, poaching

Many cultures are involved in poaching for reasons that they shouldn’t be blamed for. For example, poaching in savannah-filled countries in Africa for things like rhino horn is often tied to the poverty created by the colonization of Africa by European countries and those countries’ complete destruction of the economy, society, and infrastructure of their “colonies.” And honestly, that sort of poaching - there are other ways to combat it other than blaming the poachers - because it’s not their fault that they are in that economic situation in the first place, and need to rely on the money they get from poaching in order to survive. 

But the guy who poached Cecil the Lion? He was a rich white man. There is no justification for him poaching. None at all. Poaching, just the concept, is wrong. Our planet is in crisis, and organisms are dying out right and left, and no one should be contributing to it. This man had no justification for doing it that should be examined and fixed - there is no reason to let him personally off the hook and look into the issues that caused this event. He did something wrong, and he should be called out on it, and this should be used as an occasion to examine the dire situation of our planet, and to rally as a species to treat our biosphere better and with greater respect. 

Yes, it’s absolutely horrible that many white people are up in arms about this and never got up in arms about the murders of Michael Brown, Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin, Sandra Bland, and countless others, or the fact that racism impacts the lives of POC greatly and terribly regardless of their other socioeconomic statuses. I am not denying that you have a major point

What I’m getting at, I suppose, is that to excessively call out people for calling out the poacher - to imply that this isn’t an issue at all, or that it’s an issue that should be completely ignored - is not good either. The organisms of our planet - the ecosystem that we depend on for our own survival - they have no voice. They have no agency in our society to fight for themselves. It’s up to scientists (like myself) and activists to give them that voice. It is important to fight for our planet and our biosphere, and to continually use this occasion as a way to call out racism and hypocrisy in white people without acknowledging that what they’re saying is still a valid issue to consider is not helping your cause, it’s not helping the white people in question learn from their mistakes, and its not helping our species on the whole. 

Life always bounces back. 250 million years ago 95% of all marine life and 60% of all terrestrial life died out, but we’re still here. I’m not saying this for the presence of living things on our planet. 

I’m saying this for us, all of us, a very specialized species. It’s always the specialized organisms that are the first to go - they can’t cope with the changing planet and die out faster than generalists. We are not generalists. We cannot survive this. Nor can countless other species on our planet. 

Caring about the lives of non-human organisms - another group that is extremely and excessively oppressed by society - does not automatically stop someone from caring about POC lives. Black lives matter. Our biosphere’s lives matter, too. 

Do not overtake this issue - the fact that humans, on the whole, take much more from this planet than we need, and thus have thrown it into chaos and disarray - do not overtake this issue and belittle its importance. 

Frankly, we are all doomed if you do. 

anonymous asked:

I am so mad Jade and Jake didn't even acknowledge each other post Grimbark. They were penpals for years! :(

having post-victory conversations before act 7 would have solved SO MUCH of the problems people had with the ending. but given how hussie didnt even tell papers what to draw for it, just letting her do whatever, i find it hard not to believe he was too burnt out to finish the last stretch.

1. while dirk is one of the characters i was fairly satisfied with, that conversation with jake kind of needed to happen. it would have cemented his whole plotline with learning to deal with his potential to be a shitty person and destructive nature, and given him some solid redemption and shown his growth as a character. this was all that was needed to make me feel 100% satisfied with dirk, but as it stands it only reached 80% and its really frustrating.

2. jake. why bother showing him being so self-loathing before the battle if it literally didnt go anywhere? he needed to come to terms with himself not being as shitty as he thinks he is. i mean at worst he was extremely clueless and self absorbed in his own problems but he NEVER meant harm to anyone. just apologizing about this to his friends(mainly jane) would have made this feel more satisfying. and yeah like you said, he really needed to talk to jade!!

3. jane. god i am so pissed off about jane, she was practically a fucking footnote in this entire story. if all you’re going to give her character is her dealing with her issues with jake, then at least show that being finalized with by having her talk to jake and demonstrate her getting over him. in fact you could probably hit two birds with one stone and solved the jake character issue in a conversation between them if given some effort.

4. jade, i felt like her suffering from being alone 3 years should have been explored more or treated more seriously? i felt like it was shrugged off, even by herself, which just felt sloppy to me. no matter how chipper someone is, 3 years of loneliness is hard to deal with. have her have a more or less serious conversation with john about the details of how horrible it was, so that john can sort of learn the consequences of his actions from retconning the timeline. like what typeus said about “transferring your suffering onto another person” before john zapped back in time. itll give the retcon more weight through pointing out the bittersweetness it was supposed to have instead of treating jade like an afterthought. and if nannasprite was the one person who kept her company, have her have a conversation with nannasprite and jane about it! talk about how their similarities and differences, some of the stories nannasprite told jade to pass the time, have nannasprite actually talk to jane about how her life was like in the pre-scratch. if the strilondes get to have their pre and post scratch versions of themselves have a big impact on their characters, why cant jane????

5. terezi?!?!?! what the fuck. there needed to be SOME THING, ANYTHING. this was a complete fucking disgrace. if she knows vriska isnt going to come back, have her talk to someone about it, maybe karkat? if this was done right, you could also solve the issue with vriska’s arc. have terezi talk about how even though vriska did all these shitty things, deep down she felt some sort of guilt and her fucked-up way of dealing with this was to sacrifice her life. talk about both the good and very bad sides of vriska. you could have easily wrapped up the plotline of violent alternian upbringing through this in a neat way. then show some hope of terezi getting over vriska and this by learning to be open with the other people who did survive, since right before remem8er she said that she did actually love all of them. this solves her issue of feeling empty inside and being unable to express her emotions to others, and gives her some hope of being happy in the end.

6. if you’re going to make karkat pull a leeroy jenkins, not give a grandious speech to anyone, and then make him defeat just one enemy, at the very least show him coming to terms with it and being satisfied with himself in some way. in the conversation he had with kanaya he mentioned that he just wanted to feel like a part of something bigger than himself and effectively stand on the front lines with his friends. he did do this, technically, even for a short time. have him express some peace with this, even if he didnt fight. even if clover was harder to subdue than he looked, have karkat express some contentment that he managed to do SOMETHING to help his friends, as little as it was. because at the very least he did get to fight, and he did contribute. he WAS useful, and this was something he did want. have him express that even though he didnt end up the badass he sold himself as, he was ok with it because he knew that isnt who he really is. then in the flash forward to earth, show a glimpse of him in some sort of actual leadership role. not having a fucking picnic.

7. if rose was not going to play the rain after all for some anticlimactic meta reason, at least push this all the way and make it clear it was your intention all along. also use this as a way to give jasprosesprite a proper send-off instead of making us all feel like she was entirely fucking pointless.

8. dave. i dont think i have to go into why showing him coming out was so important again, but it never happened. having your fans relatively easily/commonly be able to ignore the final stretch to his character is why he needed to do it. same thing with dirk, i feel like his character was so so soooo close to reaching 100% satisfaction for me, but completely skipping over this and showing no resolution to it made it feel almost pointless since apparently you think its something worth leaving ambiguous to an audience you know for a fact is heteronormative in regards to him.

9. i didnt really want much out of calliope, but i felt like her revival was a little too…. unsubstantial? make it feel slightly less disneyesque by making a final conversation with her give alt calliope a nicer send off, considering her immense sacrifice and treating her less like the deus ex machina she was, and use it as a way to hammer in alive calliope’s theme of going against convention and everything that was thrown at her by living. i was just wanting a tiny bit more meat here.

aside from kanaya not being shown finalizing her goal which should have happened in the flash-forward, i felt like her, roxy and john were fairly satisfying as they were left off. also these suggestions/critique still dont address the problems with non-character plotlines being dropped and the masterpiece issue.

What I want to know is what kind of people the marauders were before we get to meet them at Prisoner of Azkaban.

How much of Remus’s obvious self-loathing issues surfaced only after he lost four of his best friends (I’m counting Lily)? Did he really have no other friends or did he just stop to trust them and his own judgment of character all together?

How much of Sirius’s mood swings, total disregard of his own safety and tendensy to temper tantrum were caused by dementors? He was extremely strong to survive with his wits, but what else did he loose?

How much of Peter’s fidgetiviness and general unpleasantness is due to twelve year spent as a rat? Sirius states that in his animagi form his thoughts were simpler. How much constant state of “simpler thoughts” affected Peter’s mind? After discovery he seemed pretty singleminded and damn stupid. Was he always like that?

I want to know what they were like as young men full of hope, surrounded by friends and whole world on their feet. [Okay, maybe they never where that care-free since it was a war but anyway. Twelve years is a long time to nurture some serious emotional and mental wounds]

About Dean and Romantic love

So despite valiantly trying to stay positive after the finale, I confess that I was down about how it played out. I stayed away from tumblr for a day or two because I was upset. I know it was ridiculous to expect any explicit Destiel stuff to happen, and I tried real hard not to hope too much but I guess it wasn’t enough. Excuse my numerous spelling and grammar errors.

Anyway, @mostly10 came to my rescue with that AMAZING cockles video and I perked up right after, because how can anyone not? :) Anyway, that video sort of pushed the finale pain away for me so I could sit and think about things and I just wanted to share this. 

I’m sorry to make this post all about ME and play my tiny violin and I’ll make this short but I grew up with two parents who loathe each other (yes, they are still together, divorce is strict NO-NO for my community!) and all the other marriages I saw were toxic as hell too. I grew up with an extremely negative view on relationships, and was exceedingly close to my own little brother because it felt like we were the only two people in the world, he was the ONLY one who could understand what I felt like when my dad decided to be an asshole to our mother. Anyway, I grew up wanting a relationship and simultaneously bolting if anyone tried to have one with me. I’ve tried to work through my issues, and I’m married now, but some of my toxic relationship behaviors have persisted, and sometimes I know I’m deliberately sabotaging things for myself. Anyway, as I said, enough about me. I only brought it up because among all three of these wonderful guys, I love Cas the most, but I identify with Dean. I have all his bad qualities (and unfortunately none of his good ones) Maybe that’s why I’m so invested in his happiness.

Take a look at Dean. As a child, his most powerful early relationship model was his parents’ and Mary dies horribly. His father changes from what looked like an easy-going, loving dad to a drill sergeant. The other models he has- Bobby, Pastor Jim etc. seem to have either no significant romantic relationships or have partner’s who have died. And the sort of life they lead, moving from place to place, developing no links to anyone else, constantly witnessing arguments between Sam and his father, I’m not surprised at Dean’s co-dependent relationship with Sam. Sam’s relationship with Dean is equally unhealthy, but he seems to be able to cope just a bit better with their crap childhood than Dean, actually stepping out of their comfort zone to make new relationships of his own. 

I’m sure Dean fell apart when Sam left. But at least he still had his father, and I’m assuming somewhere along the way he met Cassie. Dean is naturally the type to crave relationships with people, he wants to be needed, to be loved. He tried reaching out for Cassie (which is a HUGE step for him) and got effectively stomped in the heart. It just confirmed to him what John was unconsciously always drilling to him, you can’t trust anyone other than family, you can’t love anyone else. 

Dean proceeds to get Sam back hunting with him, and in Season one he was positively needy. Look at the way he keeps discouraging Sam to leave, the way he keeps telling Sam he can’t be normal. I don’t think he meant to hurt Sam, I don’t think he even released how much Sam resented being part of it. The girls he slept with fulfilled his physical need for affection, but Sam fulfilled all of Dean’s emotional needs at that point- the need for friendship, acceptance for who he is, to be needed, to protect and be protected, to love and be loved, everything. This is why he couldn’t let him go. After John dies, Dean’s hold on Sam became even more desperate (Sam has his equal share in co-dependency here, but this post is about Dean, so I’ll ignore that) 

I mean, even Dean’s deal- he was willing to go to hell than be without Sam. Sam is the center of his world, and Dean cannot even contemplate an existence without him. This is pure and selfless, but when Sam asks him if Dean’s thought what the consequence of Dean going to hell will do to him, Dean is speechless. He really hadn’t thought of it. This is not just loving a person deeply enough to die for them, it’s also needing a person so much you cannot exist without them. 

Into all this deeply emotional mess, Cas shows up. In my headcanon, Dean is instantly attracted to him, but doesn’t act on it. By the end of Season 5 though, Cas is a close friend and ally, something Dean has NEVER had before. Somewhere along the way, he’s started to need Cas too, and Cas has started to fulfill some or most of the emotional needs that Sam usually does. In Season 5, Dean actually functions properly briefly without Sam, something that wouldn’t have happened before. 

Sam falls into hell in front of Dean, and where Season 2 Dean would have broken to pieces, Season 5 Dean is still able to think about living on after Cas shows up alive. And then he leaves, not noticing Dean’s tentative request for him to stay. For Dean, this was a massive blow, because essentially Cas chose heaven over him. To be fair to Cas, Dean only asked him what he was going to do, and he answered honestly enough. Dean goes to Lisa, lives a strange mechanical life, pining for his brother and Cas. He wasn’t really happy or satisfied. He liked Lisa well enough, maybe even loved her, but he wasn’t in love with her. I’m putting myself out and saying that if Cas had stayed, he would have been with him, because he’s IN LOVE WITH CAS, even if doesn’t know it.

Dean’s excessively emotional reactions to Cas not responding like he used to in Season 6 also mirror a scorned lover’s more than just a miffed friend. Dean is insecure, he wants people around him, yet is always afraid something will go wrong,he hates himself and thinks himself responsible for every bad thing that happens. We can see how desperately he wanted to believe Cas wasn’t betraying them, in the face of overwhelming evidence, how he almost deliberately screwed up the wards so Cas can show up to talk. SO when Cas did come, he tries to pull him to his side by using the only line he knows to express affection. 

“You are like a brother to me” 

To Dean, this is the pinnacle to affection. He has never told anyone he loves them. He’s never told Cassie or Lisa that they are his family. He doesn’t know how to place someone higher than brother, because mind you, that’s all he has ever seen. John got someone pregnant FGS, he had another son, and still didn’t stop hunting obsessively. Any time Dean or anyone around him has tried out a serious romantic relationship, it’s gone up in flames (John/Mary, Bobby/Karen, Dean/Cassie, Dean/Lisa, Sam/Jess) The only constant in his life is his brother Sam. Dean wants Cas to be a constant too, and so he pulls out his only ace, the only one he is sure may work to keep Cas with him.

He does this again with brainwashed!Cas, maybe not the brother word exactly, but family. And now again, because, fundamentally for Dean-

Familial love>Romantic love.

And no amount of almost deaths from either of them will make him cross that line with Cas, simply because the more things get strained, the tighter he’ll cling to the time-tested relationship model. When Dean uses the word brother it’s not in the dismissive bro way, it’s the all-encompassing you are my whole world way. 

If things are ever going to move forward, Dean needs to heal first. To let go of his deep-seated fears, his extreme self-loathing and preconceived notions and open his eyes to the various types of love. He needs to have Cas around regularly to eel secure of him again. Much as I want to see it, it’ll probably never be a passionate first kiss when the world is falling apart for these two. It’ll be a sweet gentle one on a random Thursday in the bunker kitchen, with rain falling outside and unwashed dishes in the sink.