Monday, in Emoji

Sadface emoji, crying emoji, sadface emoji, crying emoji.

Boredom emoji, boredom emoji, boredom emoji, unemployment emoji, unemployment emoji, unemployment emoji.

Poop emoji, daydrinking emoji, daydrinking emoji, indica sativa hybrid emoji, vaporizer emoji, disconap emoji, disconap emoji, disconap emoji.

Reheated hotdogs emoji, reheated hotdogs emoji, reheated hotdogs emoji, sriracha emoji.

Vaporizer emoji, star trek the next generation on netflix instant play emoji, second nap of the day emoji.

Confusion at waking up to find that the sun has set emoji, finally giving up on reading that three days overdue library book emoji, not returning mom’s phone call emoji.

Poop emoji, shower because you’re out of toilet paper emoji, shower beer emoji, shower beer emoji, jerking off fantasizing about your innate ability to steal back high school girlfriends from their extremely successful adult husbands in the shower emoji, toweling off emoji, staring at your flaccid penis with great existential angst emoji.

Sadface emoji, sadface emoji, sadface emoji.

Realizing you’ve missed an email from a potential employer that you’re now too apprehensive and half-stoned to properly respond to emoji.

Vaporizer emoji, finishing all of the frozen hotdogs emoji, going to bed at two AM after four hours of binge-watching Alaskan wilderness reality shows and getting extremely apprehensive about your dreams of a future you fear you’ll never truly have with every passing day emoji.

Sadface emoji, sadface emoji.

Hotdog breath snores emoji, sleeping emoji, sleeping emoji.