theta doctor

The Doctors as Surreal Horror Monsters

I’m having a weird day okay? I need something to occupy my mind. 

@the-voice-of-light-city this seems up your alley

The First Doctor

A disembodied mourning sound, resembling both an old man weeping and the crying of a helpless infant. Often heard on empty streets late at night. It’s true body is an hour glass where the sand moves upward and downward at the same time. The weeping lures in unwitting victims, whose souls become new grains of sand. It has also been known to take on the form of a young school girl.

The Second Doctor

A player piano made entirely out of organic materials. The only song it can play is ‘Pop Goes The Weasel.’ People feel compelled to break into song and dance when in its vicinity, and it brings a sickeningly saccharine aura to whatever space it’s placed in. People entranced by it’s song have been known to drop from exhaustion, only to wake up with no memory of their actions. 

The Third Doctor

An eccentric spirit haunting a military base. It abhors war and tries to improve the lives of the soldiers who live at the base in little ways. It’s primary physical form is that of a large, fluffy sheepdog, but on occasion it appears as a frightening painting based the poem Jabberwocky by Lewis Carol. It enjoys car rides and sometimes accompanies soldiers in their vehicles.

The Fourth Doctor

A strip of soft fabric wrapping around an entire solar system. At either end of the fabric is a giant mouth with the teeth of a Thresher shark. The planets in the solar system are part of its body. It sometimes eats spaceships that pass within its vicinity, but others are strangely spared. It’s true eyes are those of a giant squid, hidden somewhere on Earth; when it blinks, empires will fall.

The Fifth Doctor

A beautiful patch of shimmering, iridescent grass that grew on the edge of a cricket field after a UFO sighting. It’s alluring to the eye but when investigated reveals itself to be infinitely deep. Some who tread upon it emerge with non-venomous snake bites, while others never return at all. The number of reported missing children has gone up since it was first discovered.

The Sixth Doctor

A sentient dictionary of made-up words in various unknown languages, its exact content changing slightly every time it is opened. It’s cover is an alien material of an incomprehensible color. It can have a sarcastic and bitter personality toward those who interact with it, but is in fact benevolent. No matter its current content, it always contains the definition for its favorite word.

The Seventh Doctor

A well-loved, but old and rotten teddy bear that has been soaked through with rain water many times. It was once the sole companion of a young girl with anger problems. Its stuffing contains the spirit of a scorned elder god who was cast out by his peers and now seeks to return to his rightful place. Contact with the toy has been known to bring about abrupt endi   

The Eighth Doctor

An abandoned and desecrated greenhouse that was once a beautiful nursery, but is now covered in graffiti. On closer inspection, all of the graffiti is the quotation “He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you“ by Friedrich Nietzsche, repeated in various styles. 

The War Doctor

A planet that once fell into a crack between timelines. The way the planet is seen changes depending on the perception of those who visit it. The non-religious will see a utopian paradise world inhabited by anthropomorphic tigers. The religious will instead visit a world inhabited by dragons who are on the brink of a nuclear war. The agnostic will find a barren landscape.    

The Ninth Doctor

A being that stalks the streets of major cities at night looking for those in need of spiritual rebirth. It is invisible, but can sometimes be detected as the shadow of a cat cast on an alley wall. When it finds a subject, it will give them dreams of complex constellations in the night sky. These constellations symbolize the path the dreamer must take. Unfortunately, it is easy to forget its dreams. 

The Tenth Doctor

An entity in the vague shape of a human, whose body is unnaturally sharp. Those who reach out to touch it will be eviscerated. It once sought genuine love and affection, but the destructive nature of its being drove it mad. Desperate for closeness, it now seeks victims to control and dominate. It believes itself to be the last of its race, and mourns for them each day.   

The Eleventh Doctor

A pocket watch which appears to be broken, but always displays the correct time when viewed. When shook, rattling parts can be heard inside of it. It is connected to a larger body somewhere else, which supplies an infinite power source. Those who carry it around often enough can channel this energy, and may find themselves feeling spry and young again.

The Twelfth Doctor

A non-euclidean work of art on the grounds of a college campus. Those who see it are unaware of its supernatural nature, so it goes entirely unnoticed. Secretly, it is an ancient entity which protects the campus and those who live on it from danger, although it abhors the idea of making friends. It is a locked gateway stopping a great evil from leaking through. 

the doctor's ever changing opinion of gallifrey/timelords
  • one: fuck dese guys I'm out
  • two: wow my life's great now, can't believe I spent 200 years on that god forsaken orange rock, without jamie too!!
  • three: you know what idc that u pompous arseholes banished me to earth, I got da brig with me and let me tell you something they don't have moustache's like that on gallifrey
  • four: first u accuse me of treason and now you want me for president,oh my daze you guys are such nerds, jelly baby?
  • five: wtf omega!?!
  • six: you killed peri! then fragmented her in to 5 different versions of herself, you guys are fucked up, stay away from my humans!
  • seven: shit man... me, the master and the rani, used to be so cool back at the academy, like the ultimate squad y'know, now we all so damn fucked up, that's what gallifrey does to innocent childrens
  • eight: take the master's jiggly sperm back to gallifey they said, it'll be fine they said
  • war: haha GALLIFREY STANDS bitches, totally keeping this jacket as a memento
  • nine: well I'm just going to have to cover up my severe psd with immense sass, any way it's not all bad at least I have rose she's great, although somehow she reminds me of the time war and why am I still wearing the jacket that I wore when my planet burned?!?
  • ten: well the thing is martha its like every story about a kid who wants to get out of their small town but then ends up missing it, except the kid is 900 years old, the small town is an entire planet and the kid ends up committing the genocide of his own species
  • eleven: yay!! my people are back they are actually alive and I can go home, this is the best thing ever!! two tics clara I need stand on a cloud with me, myself and I and stare at this beautiful planet full of my problematic faves
  • twelve: the bae is dead and its probably your fault!! my hybrid valeyard arse has smashed on some glass for two billion years to get here and get my revenge, I told you to stay away from my humans!! and clara and peri both have scattered lives, way to rub it in. jeeze I can't believe I was so thirsty for you two hearted cunts to come back

your hips, your lips - their mine

- missy?

- shut up i hate you you silly yellow birdie shut your mouth the heck up

- did you just knocked me out?

- i’ll kill you i’ll kill you i’ll kill you

“Always so brilliant. From the first day at the Academy. So fast, so funny.”

That’s basically what Ushas had to listen to throughout all their Academy years. This here is the Rani in making. She started shutting herself in the labs just to avoid Theta and his wailing that “WE HAD A FIGHT NOW HE’LL HATE ME FOREVER USHAS WHAT DO I DOOOOO” or “I THINK HE NOTICED I LIKE HIM OUR FRIENDSHIP IS RUINED USHAS PLEASE HELP ME”.

[ Gallifreyan Biology Reference ]

Gallifreyan’s have Triple Helix DNA as well as TNA. The extra third strand was added by Rassilon to make regeneration possible. Regeneration was created to extend the already amazing Gallifreyan lifespan. Their bodies are filled with self-replicating biogenic molecules (sometimes known as the Immortality Virus) that work ceaselessly to repair and prune damaged and malformed cells. Because of this, it takes hundreds of years for a Gallifreyan to show signs of aging. After healing, the regeneration proceeds and the subjects’ body (and to a lesser degree, the mind) will be completely restructured.


Within the first 15 hours of regeneration, a Gallifreyan will still have enough residual cellular energy to regrow a severed body part, such as a hand.

The biogenic molecules are aided by the temporal platelets which cluster around any wound, accelerating time in that area to speed the healing. A broken leg can heal in anywhere from a few hours to 4 days depending of the severity of the break. These rates of healing can be enhanced if the Gallifreyan is kept near (or inside) a TARDIS.

Despite looking like humans from Sol III, Gallifreyan’s have got multiple organs of virtually everything including two more ribs (than humans). They have 2 of most of the organs that humans have only one of, and four of the organs that humans have only two of. Aside from the extra ribs, a Gallifreyan’s skeleton is almost identical to that of a human being.

Gallifreyan’s have more than one stomach and are not as vulnerable to malnutrition as humans are. Some (if not all) believe that only one meal a day is perfectly normal. They can easily go two days without water and a week without food is not a major strain - in fact, they sometimes sit in thought for days without food or water. However, 40 days without food or water will make a Gallifreyan delirious.

Arsenic is toxic to Gallifreyan’s and will inhibit their enzymes. If a large source of protein, salt, and other chemicals (found in ginger beer) are available, a Gallifreyan who has been poisoned with arsenic can use a major shock or surprise to trigger detox. This detoxification allows their stomach to stimulate inhibited enzymes to reverse and release all toxins as gas that can be exhaled. Aspirin is incredibly toxic to them, as well.

Their skin smells like honey and has extra subdural and subcutaneous layer. This makes their skin very resistant to radiation, physical damage, poison ivy, sunburns and tanning. Gallifreyan’s can resist radiation that will kill a human in 4 minutes for 2-12 minutes before they start to take noticeable damage. Incarnations which appear to be physically younger are significantly more resistant to radiation then older bodies. They also have incredible strength for their size.

They can enter a self-induced sleep trance in which breathing, heart beat, and brain activity are all reduced to an absolute minimum. While in this trance a Time Lord can ponder complex ideas without any outside distractions. 20 minutes in this state is equivalent to 8 hours of sleep for a human. Thus, they only need about 1-6 hours of sleep every 2 days.

“I SMELL LIKE HONEY.”

Thoschei episodes?

Does anyone have a list of all the Thoschei episodes, I haven’t seen much of classic who but I enjoy watching it.

But I need to see all the Thoschei episodes so that I’m not missing out on a shit ton of stuff for the ship.

Pls