thesigns

the signs having a crush
  • Aries: gets overly bashful when talking to him/her
  • Taurus: has many dreams of the two of them going out—but never tries to start anything
  • Gemini: ends up becoming bestfriends with the person
  • Cancer: very subtle about it and hardly brings it up
  • Leo: always tries to spend time with them
  • Virgo: constantly teasing their crush
  • Libra: always trying to deny their own feelings for the "crush"
  • Scorpio: too afraid to text them first
  • Sagittarius: talks about them constantly
  • Capricorn: listens to sappy love songs and tries to relate everything in them to oneself
  • Aquarius: always looking for the other person even when they know he/she isn't around
  • Pisces: makes cute little drawings on random pieces of paper of their two names combined
How to love each sign

How to love a(n)…

Aries: let them do whatever crazy stuff they want, and when you can, join them. Tell them exactly how you feel about them, let them be free and never control them.

Taurus: be there for them no matter what. Never go missing. Don’t try to change them because they’re too stubborn to listen. Don’t hold a grudge and don’t leave when they get strong-willed and lash out.

Gemini: do something new and exciting every day. Never be boring. Let them pick the date activity, and don’t get worried or upset when they do fun things without you.

Cancer: talk to them as often as possible, and let them vent to you. Cuddle them when they want to be cuddled but give them space when they ask for it. Never be upset with them for being honest with you.

Leo: give them all the attention they deserve. Remind them that you’re the only one that they want, and remind them why they should be with you. Tell them they look good. Take them out in public with you. Go for long drives with them

Virgo: let them win the argument, even if it’s just a joke. Keep things simple and straightforward because they don’t like games or bullshit. Never make them feel bad for being who they are, and let them be moody when they have to be.

Libra: cuddle them all the time. Tell them how beautiful they are and be a positive influence on their motivation. Pick them up when they’re feeling down and go out of your way to make them feel better. Never lash out at them because they do not accept misplaced anger.

Scorpio: make them feel like they’re in charge, even if they aren’t. Let them pay for stuff and show you off if they want to, and when they don’t, make sure you do it for them. Always keep things positive and remind them you care about them. Don’t push them when they retreat into their Scorpio cave, and don’t desert them when they sting you with their Scorpio tail.

Sagittarius: keep in touch as often as possible. Lay around with them on lazy days. Make them coffee and pancakes and don’t expect a thank you (although you’ll definitely get one). Play with their hair and look into their eyes when you talk to them.

Capricorn: tell them how smart and hardworking they are. Remind them that they don’t have to be perfect, and help them relax when you can. Support their endeavors no matter how draining they may be on them. Encourage them always to achieve their dreams and don’t stand in their way, even by accident.

Aquarius: smile all the time. Tell them they’re cute. Hug them and remind them how much you care for them. Make them food when they’re being moody and don’t make fun of their emotions. Never make them feel bad for seeming ‘lazy’, because they do most their work when no one is watching.

Pisces: show them affection in public but don’t be gross about it, pay attention to them even when there’s a lot of people around. Support their (many) emotions and never invalidate them, even when they’re irrational, and don’t put any more pressure on them than they’ve already put on themselves. tell them you love them, but make sure your actions convey the message louder than your words do. Don’t get distracted or a Pisces will take it personally and assume you’re losing interest

Sexting

Aries: “Send me a nude”
Taurus: “come FUCK me right now”
Gemini: “Want to come over and watch a movie”
Cancer: “Hey come cuddle”
Leo: *Drops an unexpected nude in your dms
Virgo: *Doesn’t know what that is
Libra: “I want to fuck the shit out of you right now”
Scorpio: *doesn’t need to sext cuz they already fucked you good.
Sagittarius: “babe FaceTime me I wanna see it all”
Capricorn: “Come choke me”
Aquarius: “Come give me head”
Pisces: “I want to bend you over and fuck you slow”

The Zodiac signs locked in a closet together
  • Aries: Hey guys listen to my opinions you didn't ask to hear about.
  • Taurus: I'm right. You're wrong. You lose. End of story.
  • Gemini: HEY HI LOL WHATSUP GUYS PAY ATTENTION TO ME HAHAHAHAH HEY GUYS GUYS GUYS LOOK AT ME WHERE'S THE SPOTLIGHT LETS DO THIS OKAY LOVE YOU BYE.
  • Cancer: *sobs in corner*
  • Leo: Alright. So I think it's clear. I'm in charge of this closet.
  • Virgo: Can you all just shut the fuck up and help me organize the shit in this closet.
  • Libra: Whyyyy can'ttt weeeee beee friends
  • Scorpio: who what where when why and sometimes how?
  • Sagittarius: Let's all just get naked.
  • Capricorn: Just spit ballin ideas here but can I be valedictorian of this room?
  • Aquarius: Well this has been a lovely time.
  • Pisces: brb detaching myself from this situation.
Cute stuff the zodiac signs do when in a relationship

Aries and Capricorn kisses you on the shoulder and tucks the covers around you when they go to work/school while you have a day off and can sleep in.

Taurus writes you cute love letters/notes for you to open when they are not there.

Gemini likes to climb under your shirt while you’re still wearing it, it’s the cutest thing ever!

When you wake a Cancer sign and Pisces up a little, they’ll just hug you, go ‘nope’ and refuse to let you get up for a few minutes.

Leo and Scorpio always has to touch you. It could be holding your hand or just coming up behind you and circling your middle. They also kiss your hand or wrist so often that they probably don’t even realize they are doing it.

Virgo and Aquarius gets up to check on the pets when they do little cries in their sleep and cuddles them until they settle down and comes back to bed like a mother/father would a baby. So caring, it’s sexy!

Libra and Sagittarius will randomly come up just to dip you real low and literally sweep you off your feet. Every good relationship needs a good romantic dip every so often, right? ;-)

the signs when angered
  • Aries: starts a fist fight
  • Taurus: eats
  • Gemini: forgets why they're mad after a few hours
  • Cancer: shrugs it off and acts like nothing's wrong
  • Leo: sleeps off the rage
  • Virgo: gets overly dramatic
  • Libra: lashes out
  • Scorpio: constantly brings the problem up even when the situation is long over with
  • Sagittarius: gives the other person the cold shoulder and death stares
  • Capricorn: rants and rants and rants and rants
  • Aquarius: pretends like they aren't angered
  • Pisces: cries
The signs in a gang

Leaders: Aries,Capricorn

The ones in charge of ‘‘cleaning’‘ : Aquarius,Virgo,Capricorn

The cutie pies who are dangerous asf: Pisces,Cancer

The ones in charge of the weapons: Scorpio,Taurus

The sexy gang girlfriends: Libra,Sagittarius,Leo,Gemini

The ones who always have to clean the image of the gang: Gemini,Pisces,Leo

The ones who still go to school: Virgo,Capricorn,Libra

The ones who always start the gang wars because of bad temper: Capricorn,Scorpio,Aries

The one who ends the wars: Pisces

The parents of the gang: Taurus,Cancer,Virgo

The ones who throw the drug parties and bring the money in: Aquarius,Sagittarius and sometimes Capricorn

(requested by anon!)

.p

Luxury vs Nature

Aries: Both
Taurus: Luxury
Gemini: Nature
Cancer: Neither
Leo: Luxury
Virgo: Luxury
Libra: Nature
Scorpio: Both
Sagittarius: Both
Capricorn: Both
Aquarius: Nature
Pisces: Luxury

Why Are The Signs So...

According to top google searches…

Aries: mean, annoying, secretive

Taurus: slow, rude, emotional

Gemini: crazy, hated, confusing

Cancer: moody, annoying, clingy

Leo: jealous, confident, selfish

Virgo: confusing, cold, selfish

Libra: mean, difficult, charming

Scorpio: intense, secretive, mean

Sagittarius: attractive, mean, crazy

Capricorns: misunderstood, controlling, quiet

Aquarius: distant, cold, cool 

Pisces: sad, moody, jealous

Keywords For The Signs
  • Aries: Temperamental, Impatient, Social, Bossy, Brave, Optimistic.
  • Taurus: Patient, Down to earth, Artistic, Insensitive, Possessive, Lazy.
  • Gemini: Curious, Funny, CHARMING, Intellectual, Talkative, Nervous, Flirty.
  • Cancer: Emotional, Kind, Graceful, Maternal, Clingy, Possessive.
  • Leo: Social, Bossy, A Leader, Selfish, Loving, Fun.
  • Virgo: Intellectual, Practical, Witty, Harsh, Dependable, Critical.
  • Libra: Romantic, Cheerful, CHARMING, Indecisive.
  • Scorpio: Mysterious, Possessive, Jealous, Seductive, Deep.
  • Sagittarius: Sassy, Impatient, Independent, Adventurous, Philosophical.
  • Capricorn: Cold, Patient, Funny, Harsh, Selfish, Serious, Ambitious.
  • Aquarius: Flirty, Talkative, Social, Witty, Unemotional.
  • Pisces: Sensitive, Manipulative, Dreamy, Loving.
( 100% accurate) legitimate things the signs have said to their moms
  • Aries: hey mom my periods a bit late get ready to call MTV
  • Taurus: can u not eat like that
  • Gemini: no mom I don't need help with my math homework
  • Cancer: mom I promise u this is a movie u don't want to see
  • Leo: if u take me to chipotle I promise I'll pay u back l8er
  • Virgo: srry mom I didn't get ur call I was too busy doing crystal meth
  • Libra: aye I know u just made dinner but— do u wanna order me a pizza plz
  • Scorpio: mom my friend wanted to come over but I didn't rlly want to hang out so I told her u said i couldn't do anything, ok?
  • Sagittarius: ok mom how about u let the dog outside
  • Capricorn: mom I'll be fine without a jacket ok
  • Aquarius: stop calling me I'm with my friends
  • Pisces: mom u legitimately do not understand
What Each Sign Wants for Christmas
  • Aries - To conquer the world; will settle for a big leather belt
  • Taurus - A ten-year gift subscription to gourmet magazine; also        learning to “channel” the spirit of Julia Childs
  • Gemini - More technology. More, more!
  • Cancer - Three days a month of “rent-a-mother” services
  • Leo - A diamond-studded, leather bound copy of “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”
  • Virgo - Everything green - clothes, food, thumb, jewelry and house
  • Libra - Private lessons with the most famous interior decorator in town
  • Scorpio - His or her own private copy of “Poisons Prepared From Household Plants”
  • Sagittarius - Two weeks at a dude ranch
  • Capricorn - The book “101 Cheap Ways to Fix Up Your House”
  • Aquarius - To host a War of the Worlds reenactment via podcast
  • Pisces - Insert illogical aquarium joke because you’re a fucking fish and I wrote this entire thing just to fuck with you.
Sassy, classy, or messy?

Sassy: Scorpio, Leo, Libra, Aquarius

Classy: Capricorn, Sagittarius, Virgo, Gemini

Messy: Taurus, Cancer, Aries

All of the above: Pisces

The signs' most irrational pet peeve

Aries: People who leave time on the microwave and don’t clear the clock. They get so mad that they’ll throw the microwave out the window.

Taurus: When someone yawns with their mouth open, and makes the loudest possible noise they can, while also stretching their arms like they’re about to fucking fly away.

Gemini: People who hold the door for them when they are a hundred foot away. It makes them feel obligated to start the awkward half walk, half jog combination that makes anyone feel like an idiot.

Cancer: People that try to enter a train/any public transportation before letting people get off.

Leo: When they text or tell people a long joke or something funny, and they only reply with lol. A simple ‘haha that’s funny’ or even a ‘wow haha’ sounds more sincere.

Virgo: Crumbs in the butter. Come on you guys, how hard is it to wipe your knife off between butter servings? :/

Libra: When people scrape their teeth against the silverware while taking a bite. That shit makes them cringe!

Scorpio: Porn clips where the audio is slightly delayed.

Sagittarius: When people don’t say good bye before hanging up the phone. Like WTF?!

Capricorn: Wet bathrooms, especially when they walk in wearing socks. How the FUCK did you manage to turn a goddamn little linoleum box of a room into a freaking swamp?

Aquarius: They hate when people try to tell them things they already know.

Pisces People who put cereal or milk back with only a tiny bit left. UGH. Whyyyy?!!!