thesigns

Why you should have the confidence of a lion

Aries: Cuz you are the life of the fuckin party
Taurus: Cuz you are the hottest like fuck!
Gemini: You fuckin inspire people with your positive ass
Cancer: You fuckin care about everyone. We need you!
Leo: You are the fuckin lion dude!
Virgo: You are the best at everything you fuckin do
Libra: Everyone knows you and you fuckin are bubbly asf
Scorpio: You are the god of sex who are you kidding! You fuckin are everything
Sagittarius: without you there would be no point in adventure! Because you are the fuckin adventure
Capricorn: the god of gods and you fuckin take care of everyone
Aquarius: you fuckin are that friend that keep us on our damn toes
Pisces: Fuckin save lives and don’t even know it! Damn you are the bomb!

Beautiful Nature Metaphors

Check sun & moon !!

Aries - You are a butterfly soaring through a field of flowers, the sun shining on your nearly broken wings.

Taurus - You are the forest, quiet and never ending but still full of life and adventure.

Gemini - You are the clouds, masking your inner rain with purity and humor.

Cancer - You are the ocean, your waves carrying the weight of the current but still bringing life along with it.

Leo - You are the mountains, climbing high in the sky and so steep that only the bravest dare to explore you.

Virgo - You are thunderstorms, somehow calm but with an underlying determination that strikes fear in many.

Libra - You are a field of flowers, striking and charming, but continuously picked apart until there is nothing left of you.

Scorpio - You are a waterfall, a tremendous mixture of power and peace, and often hidden away, only truly seen by those who desire you enough to risk themselves.

Sagittarius - You are the wind, exciting and enthusiastic, sometimes to the point of becoming dangerous.

Capricorn - You are lightning strikes, electric and powerful, never failing to hit the ground with a step heard and seen by all.

Aquarius - You are the rushing river, eccentric, beautiful, and containing more feelings and inhabitants than is seen by the outside world.

Pisces - You are a valley, lovely and quiet, containing yards and yards of space for new experiences and curiosity.

“Most...” Zodiac Squads

 Most bossy: Aries, Leo

Most Romantic: Pisces, Libra, Cancer

Most Grumpy: Aries, Cancer

Most Spontaneous: LEO, Aquarius Aries

Most Sassy: Capricorn, Sagittarius, Taurus, (Gemini maybe)

Most Naughty: Aries, Scorpio, Virgo

Most Serious: Gemini, Pisces, Capricorn

Most Bitchy: Taurus, Leo, Virgo

Most Dreamy: Aquarius, Pisces, Sagittarius

Most Aggressive: A R I E S 

Most Sensitive: Scorpio, Pisces, Virgo, Cancer

Most Dominant: Capricorn, Aries, Taurus, Scorpio

Most Scary When Angry: Capricorn, Leo, Pisces

Most Moody: Cancer, Libra Gemini

Most Creative: SAGITTARIUS, Aquarius, Pisces

Most Royal: Leo

Most Pervert: Taurus, Libra, Cancer

Most Stronghearted: All <3

Most Likely to be a Millionaire: Capricorn, Gemini

Most Flirtatious: Pisces, Libra

How to love each sign

How to love a(n)…

Aries: let them do whatever crazy stuff they want, and when you can, join them. Tell them exactly how you feel about them, let them be free and never control them.

Taurus: be there for them no matter what. Never go missing. Don’t try to change them because they’re too stubborn to listen. Don’t hold a grudge and don’t leave when they get strong-willed and lash out.

Gemini: do something new and exciting every day. Never be boring. Let them pick the date activity, and don’t get worried or upset when they do fun things without you.

Cancer: talk to them as often as possible, and let them vent to you. Cuddle them when they want to be cuddled but give them space when they ask for it. Never be upset with them for being honest with you.

Leo: give them all the attention they deserve. Remind them that you’re the only one that they want, and remind them why they should be with you. Tell them they look good. Take them out in public with you. Go for long drives with them

Virgo: let them win the argument, even if it’s just a joke. Keep things simple and straightforward because they don’t like games or bullshit. Never make them feel bad for being who they are, and let them be moody when they have to be.

Libra: cuddle them all the time. Tell them how beautiful they are and be a positive influence on their motivation. Pick them up when they’re feeling down and go out of your way to make them feel better. Never lash out at them because they do not accept misplaced anger.

Scorpio: make them feel like they’re in charge, even if they aren’t. Let them pay for stuff and show you off if they want to, and when they don’t, make sure you do it for them. Always keep things positive and remind them you care about them. Don’t push them when they retreat into their Scorpio cave, and don’t desert them when they sting you with their Scorpio tail.

Sagittarius: keep in touch as often as possible. Lay around with them on lazy days. Make them coffee and pancakes and don’t expect a thank you (although you’ll definitely get one). Play with their hair and look into their eyes when you talk to them.

Capricorn: tell them how smart and hardworking they are. Remind them that they don’t have to be perfect, and help them relax when you can. Support their endeavors no matter how draining they may be on them. Encourage them always to achieve their dreams and don’t stand in their way, even by accident.

Aquarius: smile all the time. Tell them they’re cute. Hug them and remind them how much you care for them. Make them food when they’re being moody and don’t make fun of their emotions. Never make them feel bad for seeming ‘lazy’, because they do most their work when no one is watching.

Pisces: show them affection in public but don’t be gross about it, pay attention to them even when there’s a lot of people around. Support their (many) emotions and never invalidate them, even when they’re irrational, and don’t put any more pressure on them than they’ve already put on themselves. tell them you love them, but make sure your actions convey the message louder than your words do. Don’t get distracted or a Pisces will take it personally and assume you’re losing interest

THE SIGNS AS MEMES OF 2016
  • Aries: Ken Bone
  • Taurus: Caveman Spongebob
  • Gemini: Ted Cruz Is The Zodiac Killer
  • Cancer: Harambe
  • Leo: Evil Kermit
  • Virgo: Bone App The Teeth
  • Libra: Arthur's Clenched Fist
  • Scorpio: Obama & Biden
  • Sagittarius: Damn Daniel
  • Capricorn: Dat Boi
  • Aquarius: Name A More Iconic Duo
  • Pisces: Confused Mr. Crabs
Sexting

Aries: “Send me a nude”
Taurus: “come FUCK me right now”
Gemini: “Want to come over and watch a movie”
Cancer: “Hey come cuddle”
Leo: *Drops an unexpected nude in your dms
Virgo: *Doesn’t know what that is
Libra: “I want to fuck the shit out of you right now”
Scorpio: *doesn’t need to sext cuz they already fucked you good.
Sagittarius: “babe FaceTime me I wanna see it all”
Capricorn: “Come choke me”
Aquarius: “Come give me head”
Pisces: “I want to bend you over and fuck you slow”

Cute stuff the zodiac signs do when in a relationship

Aries and Capricorn kisses you on the shoulder and tucks the covers around you when they go to work/school while you have a day off and can sleep in.

Taurus writes you cute love letters/notes for you to open when they are not there.

Gemini likes to climb under your shirt while you’re still wearing it, it’s the cutest thing ever!

When you wake a Cancer sign and Pisces up a little, they’ll just hug you, go ‘nope’ and refuse to let you get up for a few minutes.

Leo and Scorpio always has to touch you. It could be holding your hand or just coming up behind you and circling your middle. They also kiss your hand or wrist so often that they probably don’t even realize they are doing it.

Virgo and Aquarius gets up to check on the pets when they do little cries in their sleep and cuddles them until they settle down and comes back to bed like a mother/father would a baby. So caring, it’s sexy!

Libra and Sagittarius will randomly come up just to dip you real low and literally sweep you off your feet. Every good relationship needs a good romantic dip every so often, right? ;-)

The Signs As Greek Gods/Godesses

Capricorn: Hephaestus - Patient, Responsible
Aquarius: Hermes - Witty, Clever
Pisces: Aphrodite - Compassionate, Accepting
Aries: Ares - Strong, Fierce
Taurus: Pan - Persistant, Generous
Gemini: Dionysus - Imaginative, Energetic
Cancer: Artemis - Loyal, Dependable
Leo: Apollo - Creative, Attractive
Virgo: Athena - Wise, Thoughtful
Libra: Hestia - Peaceful, Graceful
Scorpio: Poseidon - Passionate, Resourceful
Sagittarius: Hades - Independent, Adventurous

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:)
The signs’ physical looks

Aries male: One of the most attractive guys, very masculine, healthy-looking, brown hair and brown eyes
Aries female: One of the most attractive girls, a bit masculine but still very hot, with a beautiful smile; Brown hair and pure hazel eyes

Taurus male: Skinny, sometimes chubby, a bit short but still beautiful, light brown/reddish curly hair, green eyes 
Taurus female: Either dark brown or red hair, black eyes, skinny and very attractive

Gemini male: Fit (but not too much) because always exercises, healthy-looking, tall, black hair always in a good condition, blue/grey eyes, very stylish
Gemini female: Skinny, sometimes fit, tall, dark hair and dark eyes, very elegant and stylish, has R-O-C-K-I-N-G eyebrows; 

Cancer male: Sometimes tall, sometimes not at all. Can be chubby, always has soft lines. Black or dark brown hair, black puppy eyes, tanned 
Cancer female: Very sweet, with an adorable smile, puppy eyes, likes to tan a lot but still pale, dark/light brown hair, not too expressed eyebrows

Leo male: Fit, masculine looking, black/golden thick hair, tanned and sunlight cannot burn their skin. Pure hazel/black/green eyes
Leo female: Skinny, short, thick and very beautiful hair, either golden or black, light/dark brown eyes

Virgo male: Light brown wavy hair, they are short-looking but aren’t actually that short, black eyes, soft lines and cute facial expressions
Virgo female: Straight hair, blue/green/light brown rounded eyes, eyebrows with perfect form but too light, angelic look, very feminine, has thigh gaps

Libra male: Hot, cool looking, always wants to dress in specific clothes, has a beard, thick eyebrows, short hair, green/blue eyes, not too fit but still good looking
Libra female: A bit chubby, always stylish, healthy light brown hair, wants to put make-up a lot

Scorpio male: Either very tall or very short, pale, either black or either blonde hair, interesting nose, small waist, green/blue/black eyes, looks a bit younger for their years (or should I say like a child), big cheekbones
Scorpio female: Sometimes very feminine, sometimes very masculine, either black or either light blonde hair, S_L_A_Y_I_N_G eyebrows, small eyes, big cheekbones

Sagittarius male: The award for best-looking zodiac sign goes to Sagittarius male AND female; brown hair, very very fit and good looking, striking light brown / green eyes, looks like they are gonna explode at any moment
Sagittarius female: The award for best-looking zodiac sign goes to Sagittarius male AND female; Green/blue/light brown eyes, the most striking look from all, perfect eyebrows, looks a bit untouchable

Capricorn male: Always wants to look sophisticated, always has a perfume on, tall, skinny, can be chubby or fat in the later years, glassy look, black/grey/brown eyes, either smiles a lot or doesn’t smile, dark hair
Capricorn female: Cold, glassy look, very attractive, interesting nose, perfect eyebrows, light grey/blue eyes, very skinny but can be a little bit chubby sometimes, elegant and feminine in her own way

Aquarius male: Likes to change their style a lot, short, not that thick, curly blonde or light brown hair, light eyes of any color, ugly nose but they’re still cute
Aquarius female: Small nose, very healthy looking, light eyes, straight or wavy blonde hair, tall 

Pisces male: Either very tall or a bit short; pale; skinny; very dark black or very light blonde hair, very small or very big blue/green/black/grey dreamy eyes, big nose, stylish in any segment of their lives, s-l-a-y-i-n-g jawline, thick and big lips, when they smile they might scare somebody because they look like a snake
Pisces female: The most feminine of them all, short or normal height, very pale and has a clean skin, interesting cheekbones and eyebrows, blue/grey/black dreamy eyes, either has no make-up or tons of it but is always cute and attractive

Zodiac first dates

Capricorn: wears exactly the right thing but probably didn’t mean to. Is great at making casual conversation, but feels like they’re being awkward even if you make it obvious that you’re having a good time. Chooses a traditional dinner-date route to keep things familiar and controlled. Is great at hiding their insecurities but can’t hold back a smile. Has all the right manners and picks up the check, won’t try to kiss you unless you make the move.

Aquarius: looks at you with stars in their eyes (but doesn’t realize you can tell). Wears something quirky but still nice and presentable. their hair is messy (even though they spent an hour on it at home). starts with something traditional but invites you to do something else spontaneously because they don’t want the night to end. once they feel like they’ve run out of ways to entertain you, they’ll walk you home and talk about life with you. asks if they can kiss you

Pisces: is super nervous and can’t hide it so they don’t even try. wears something classic and modest, a little bit casual but not too much so. talks too much by accident and feels bad about it, even if you let them lead the conversation. asks a lot of personal questions and gives a lot of info on themselves. makes it obvious that they like you but won’t expect you to like them back. will try to pick up the check or at least go halvsies. too shy to make a move so they just smile really big and dopey until you kiss them

Aries: wears a red and/or black outfit, with a dramatic flair. They look like they stepped out of a magazine and you better notice. takes you to do something different and interesting, probably out of your comfort zone but right in the middle of theirs. asks thought-provoking questions that are difficult to answer, and seems to enjoy watching you come up with creative responses. conversation is intelligent and probably inappropriate. kisses you passionately without warning before the date is even over.

Taurus: wears something sexy but classy. makes good conversation, has interesting things to say but you can tell they aren’t showing their entire true self. Laughs at all your jokes but also has a sarcastic sense of humor and shows it right away. Will call you out on anything you say that they don’t agree with, but doesn’t make a big deal out of it or hold it against you. If they really like you, they’ll kiss you, but if they aren’t sure yet they’ll probably make you work for it.

Gemini: wears bright colors and bold shiny/sparkly accessories. Talks a lot and is very animated, maybe cuts you off sometimes but its by accident. They smile a lot and laugh very loudly, in a cute and excited way. Probably gets a little bit drunk at dinner and definitely kisses you at the end of the night. Texts you right after to tell you what a great time they had.

Cancer: Wears something casual but looks very put-together. More likely to ask you questions than to reveal too much about themselves. May seem quiet but its just because they are listening intently to what you have to say. If you can make them laugh, it melts your heart because their laugh is genuine and their smile lights up their face. Makes fun of you a little bit but only in a light-hearted way. Probably too shy to kiss you but will be upset if you don’t kiss them

Leo: Wears basic clothing that somehow works together to make a perfect outfit. Everyone in the place looks at them when you guys walk in, and more than likely someone else will hit on them while you’re together because they are just that magnetic. They will only focus on you though, and they try to find out as much about your soul as they can, asking deep questions and trying to provoke thoughtful conversation. Kisses you at the end of the night but makes you sweat it out waiting for the next date.

Virgo: Wears normal casual clothes that look good on them, and probably shows off their physique. Big personality, will talk loudly and say the first thing that comes to their mind, but nothing rude. They enjoy laughing, and making light conversation rather than delving deep. Easy to connect with because they are very understanding and can empathize with many different types of people. Will never judge you for your surface-features. Kisses you at the end of the date but is a little bit clumsy/awkward about it.

Libra: Wears light colors, pastels, and probably vintage clothes. Hair and/or makeup is perfect, and they try very hard to be sophisticated (even though they’ll probably spill or break something within the first 10 minutes, then be mortified by it). Is very modest when you ask them questions and doesn’t like to brag about themselves, but will praise you for every accomplishment you’ve made. Their laugh is so cute you want to cuddle them and they will give you their jacket even if you aren’t cold. Wants you to kiss them and will give you the opportunity but won’t be obvious about it.

Scorpio: Wears casual clothing but somehow they look amazing. Their smile is magnetic and they will make you laugh at every opportunity they get, and if you make them laugh too they’re as good as yours. Makes great conversation without revealing any personal information. Will look for excuses to touch you ‘by accident’ all night, and probably wants to take you dancing after dinner. Will probably also get drunk but will buy all your drinks if you let them. If they get the right vibe from you, they’ll kiss you but they won’t put themselves on the line unless they’re sure they won’t be rejected.

Sagittarius: Wears a nice outfit, but nothing too attention-getting. Tusseled hair and bright eyes that captivate you. Smiles really big all night and giggles a lot. Is happy to tell you anything you want to know but probably won’t ask too much about you unless you offer the information, because they don’t want to pry. Takes you to do something lighthearted and fun after dinner, where you can be alone together without too much attention on you. Pays for everything and refuses to let you even touch your wallet. Talks about their big dreams for the future and all the amazing things going for them. Kisses you if they think you’re into it, and is confident that you are (unless you aren’t, then they can definitely tell). 

THE SIGNS AS YOUTUBERS
  • Aries: Zoella
  • Taurus: Smosh
  • Gemini: Tyler Oakley
  • Cancer: Shane Dawson
  • Leo: Jenna Marbles
  • Virgo: Philip DeFranco
  • Libra: Grace Helbig
  • Scorpio: Dan Howell
  • Sagittarius: Lily Singh
  • Capricorn: PewDiePie
  • Aquarius: Colleen Ballinger / Miranda Sings
  • Pisces: Joey Graceffa
Luxury vs Nature

Aries: Both
Taurus: Luxury
Gemini: Nature
Cancer: Neither
Leo: Luxury
Virgo: Luxury
Libra: Nature
Scorpio: Both
Sagittarius: Both
Capricorn: Both
Aquarius: Nature
Pisces: Luxury

Falling in love is like friendship on fire:
Aquarius, Leo, Gemini

Falling in love is like your boner gets a brain, like a heart orgasm that just won’t quit:
Scorpio, Pisces, Aries

Falling in love is wanting to fix and resolve instead of simply walking away:
Gemini, Sagittarius, Libra

Falling in love is chemicals in the brain telling you this person is good to commingle your genes with:
Capricorn, Virgo

Falling in love is like your chest hurts a fucking ton whenever you see, hear, or think about that other person - except you like the feeling, and it kinda buzzes all the way up and down your spine and the back of your skull:
Cancer, Taurus, Libra, Aries

The Signs As Mythical Creatures

ig//horoscopezone

Aries: Dragon - Powerful
Taurus: Fairy - Generous
Gemini: Witch - Intuitive
Cancer: Vampire - Passionate
Leo: Phoenix - Royal
Virgo: Sphynx - Wise
Libra: Angel - Pure
Scorpio: Griffin - Commanding
Saggitarius: Centaur - Adventurous
Capricorn: Werewolf - Loyal
Aquarius: Unicorn - Elegant
Pisces: Mermaid - Bubbly

:)

If you want to request a description...
  • Always include your sun sign !!
  • Include your moon sign for: your emotions and your inner self
  • Include your rising sign for: how people see you and what you see in life
  • Include your venus sign for: how you act socially and what you want in love and how you are in relationships
  • Include your mars sign for: your aggressive instincts and your drive
  • Include your mercury sign for: how you think and how you communicate your thoughts
  • Include your jupiter sign for: how you express generosity and tolerance
THE SIGNS AS HIGH SCHOOL STEREOTYPES
  • Aries: Horny Virgin
  • Taurus: Sweet, Superficial Kid
  • Gemini: Try-Hard Teacher
  • Cancer: Goth Kid
  • Leo: Smart, Popular Kid
  • Virgo: Nerd
  • Libra: New Kid
  • Scorpio: Slutty Kid
  • Sagittarius: Mean Girl
  • Capricorn: Jock
  • Aquarius: Mean Girl's Minion
  • Pisces: Gay Kid
Why Are The Signs So...

According to top google searches…

Aries: mean, annoying, secretive

Taurus: slow, rude, emotional

Gemini: crazy, hated, confusing

Cancer: moody, annoying, clingy

Leo: jealous, confident, selfish

Virgo: confusing, cold, selfish

Libra: mean, difficult, charming

Scorpio: intense, secretive, mean

Sagittarius: attractive, mean, crazy

Capricorns: misunderstood, controlling, quiet

Aquarius: distant, cold, cool 

Pisces: sad, moody, jealous

The Two Types of Every Sign

Aries
a) You’re either THE loudest person in the room, constantly starting arguments and planning the next party
orrrr
b) You’re playing scrabble and silently or quietly passing shade on the people surrounding you, or you’re home happy to be the fuck away from people.

Taurus: a) You’re either the most caring loving devoted person, whose laughter sounds like sunlight
orrrrr
b) You’re a mean bitch who loves to gossip about literally every single person that existed.

Gemini: You’re either witty and intelligent, with sparkling charm that you bestow upon all your besotted admirers
orrrrrrrr
b) You’re a broody moody sad fuck who will stab you in the back to save themself or just because :))))

Leo: You’re either the most fun person in the room, with childlike wonderment about the world
orrrr
b) You’re a smug chill cheschire cat who got the cream and is eating it ;)

Virgo: You’re either sitting there quietly observing your surroudings only stopping to add occasional witty one liners
orrrrrrrrr
b) You’re the LIFE of the party, wait no; You ARE the party. Shots? You’re pouring them! Breaking and Entering into a locked basement party, you’re the mastermind. You’re a funny sign Virgo.

Libra: You’re either dressing all your friends up in your clothes and sharing all your makeup with them because you’re a kind generous soul, while also debating moral issues
orrrrr
You’re a snobby mean person whose nose is so upturned you may as well be Cindy Lou Who ;P

Scorpio: You’re either sitting there encouraging and chanting on the squad doing drugs and alcohol, talking about the world as if you’ve learnt every crevice and cranny
orrrr
You’re not saying a thing. You’re not even there. No one sees you, yet you see all.

Saggitarius: You’re either lighting up the bonfire and handing out smore sticks and playing the guitar for all your groupies
orr
You’re smashing literally every person at Cards against Humanity. Yes, you are the funniest person in the room. Don’t let it go to your head, oh wait. It already did.

Capricorn: You’re either the Mother Hen, helping drunk and disorderlies to bed, you ARE Nurse Joy; Everyone comes to you for advice. There is nothing you don’t have in your handbag.
orrr
You’re a cynical ass who is shade AF, the literal opposite from you’re other sort of capricorn, you need ALL the help. You’ll smash those pregame drinks and drugs early and spend the night being comforted as you lay in your own vomit :)))

Aquarius: You’re likely drawing the party, rolling creative joints and encouraging everyone to jump off the roof. You’re a wild child Aqua.
orrrrrrrr
You’re at home knitting. No inbetween.