these-too-gets-me-all-emotional-shit

8

❝ i will do whatever it takes to protect you。

artlesstumbles asked:

You know what's weird about Justin topping though? He never seems to enjoy it as much as he does bottoming, even when he's with Brian doing a threesome, etc. Except that one time we saw him topping Brian, he mostly just seems blasé when he's topping other men. And we saw him with that actor guy out in L.A. and he seemed pretty into that. Usually I'd be on team switch it up, but I feel like Justin is just more naturally a bottom, while I have a hard time seeing Brian ceding control very often.

I mean, I’ll agree that Justin seems to enjoy sex more when Brian’s around, but who wouldn’t? ;-) But I disagree about Brian. We only see Justin top him once, but he seems to very much enjoy letting Justin take the lead — I’m thinking in particular the sex scene in 4 x 03 when Justin gets back from his victory with the Pink Posse, that time after Brian gets his mojo back post-cancer and Brian ranks the fuck in their personal top five, even in 1 x 10 he initially lets Justin take the lead. I 100% believe Brian gets off on giving up control, but only if it’s with somebody he trusts completely … so, basically, just Justin. I mean, think about it: Brian loves wild sex. He loves the thrill of it. He loves a touch of danger. And for Brian, who, at this point, has fucked thousands of guys and has probably participated in nearly every sex act known to man, what’s more of a thrill than completely surrendering yourself to another person? 

Now, again, I don’t see Brian doing this with just anybody. Because, as Justin astutely noted, Brian’s somebody who always needs to be in control and on top. However, I can absolutely see this as something that Brian enjoys doing with Justin, somebody he knows will give him an amazing fuck, who’ll allow Brian to completely lose control and not hold it over his head later. This is opening up a whole new world of sex for Brian, which is saying a lot given everything and everyone that he’s done. But I think he’d be more than excited about exploring it with Justin … I mean, I heard those noises you were making when Justin took the lead, Brian. You weren’t fooling anybody. 

All that said, yeah, I can see Justin being more naturally inclined to bottoming (although just given that we rarely see him bottom with anybody other than Brian leads me to believe he’s more naturally inclined bottom with Brian than a naturally inclined to bottom as a rule) and Brian on top, just because that is obviously what’s been established in the show, and obviously people have their personal preferences. But especially post-series, when we know Brian and Justin are completely comfortable in their relationship and their positions as equals, when Brian’s more secure in the knowledge that Justin truly loves him and respects him, I can absolutely see Brian bottoming to Justin pretty regularly. 

atlantafive asked:

RICHONNNEEE and caryl for the ship meme <3

richonne

  • falls asleep on the couch rick, for the most part, would do this, and hes kind of gotten used to it and doesnt mind. sometimes michonne is so tired though that she cant stay awake no matter how hard she tries and shes just out cold so rick carries her to bed instead
  • makes friends with the neighbors both! they wouldnt just go out and meet everyone on their own initiative, but if theres some nice people around they enjoy just talking to them with all of them together (honestly this ones so hard to imagine because whenever i try to think abt it my mind goes to the za world and its hard to imagine them trusting people in the non-za because we saw so little of it and were seeing so much of ricks distrust of people lately that its hard to shake that)
  • is the adventurous eater michonne. she, in general, is the adventurous cook and is thus also always ready to try out those new things she makes, whereas rick would be fine with just ‘plain’ dishes, especially because i dont see him being a man that enjoys very spicy dishes so whenever he would try one of michonnes new experiments theres always that chance of it being spicier than he enticipated and for it to result in him spending half the evening refilling his glass by the tap to wash it down (and michonne laughing at him for it, of course, its all in good fun)
  • hogs the covers at night michonne. she probably doesnt even realize it, but she can be a heavy sleeper when shes out, and i guess she just tries to be as comfortable as possible once shes asleep without her being aware of it herself. rick doesnt mind though because while being asleep means really being asleep, that doesnt mean she falls asleep easily, so he just lets her get some rest whenever she finally manages to fall asleep
  • forgets to do the dishes at first i was going to say rick, but i think hed be the type that likes to stay sort of on top with the dishes and other household choices because he hates doing them, and he knows that if he doesnt do it right away, hell let it all pile up and then all motivation goes down the drain even more. he tries his best to keep up with them because of that, and michonne and carl know that so they try to all do the dishes together when they can, while listening to the radio during
  • tries to surprise their partner more often both of them! theres not necessarily always a lot of huge gestures, but one specific thing they all like to do is when they might be somewhere far away for a while or some cool place or anything like they, they bring back little memorabilia and leave it on the other persons night stand when they come home
  • leaves dirty laundry on the floor 
  • stays up til 2 AM reading michonne. she reads a lot more than rick. when he does occasionally find a book to get sucked into, he reads it everywhere, from the dinnertable to during brushing his teeth. michonne tries to avoid letting reading take time away from other daily activities so she opts to read later in the day instead…which also results in her getting totally sucked into whatever shes reading, untill she suddenly gets snapped out of it by the sound of getting a text or someone else needing to use the bathroom at night or anything else trivial that snaps her out of her reading. then theres no avoiding looking at that damn clock because she damn well realizes as soon as shes aware what she was doing that its probably way later than she intended for it to get!
  • sings in the shower rick! i cant help but thinking hes the type of person to start singing (unpurposely offkey) as loud as he can as soon hes hes convinced that no one else can hear him, much to the enjoyment of michonne and carl. oh bless your heart rick, its okay, im the exact same way myself.
  • takes the selfies rick! michonne takes pictures of when theyre on trips, when rick is cooking for once, etc, while rick randomly jumps on the couch next to her and whips out his phone to take a silly selfie, when hes in a good mood (theyre usually more like somewhat sporadic bursts)
  • plans date night they both do. it really depends on what it is! i think theyre both fine with just staying in for the night watching tv, and if they really plan something, theyd rather like, plan trips together! camping, walks in rocky areas, or just anything to travel and take pictures and see things they dont get to see at home.

caryl oh my god im totally filling that one out later but i dont usually write these kinds of things out and i dont have the mental energy to do it for caryl too right now (esp because i dont want to be afraid of having answers that are too similar)

  • falls asleep on the couch
  • makes friends with the neighbors
  • is the adventurous eater
  • hogs the covers at night
  • forgets to do the dishes
  • tries to surprise their partner more often
  • leaves dirty laundry on the floor
  • stays up til 2 AM reading
  • sings in the shower
  • takes the selfies
  • plans date night

Shame is an unspoken epidemic, the secret behind many forms of broken behavior. Brené Brown, whose earlier talk on vulnerability became a viral hit, explores what can happen when people confront their shame head-on. Her own humor, humanity and vulnerability shine through every word.

Dr. Brown really is one of my all time faves.

Vulnerability is not a weakness.  It requires emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty.  It is our most accurate measure of courage - to let ourselves be seen, to be honest.

I’ve faced my fair share of shame.  I know it all too well.  Thankfully, I’ve got some really great people in my corner who help remind me that I am good enough, I am worthy of love, I am okay.

Probably the most telling thing she says about our relationships is that for men: shame is being perceived as weak. “When we reach out and be vulnerable we get the shit beat out of us.”

Did you hear that?  Let me say it REALLY loud and clear:

"When we reach out and be vulnerable we get the shit beat out of us."

It takes real courage to keep going back, again and again, to being vulnerable with someone.  But, really it’s the only way to live. I refuse to settle for shallow relationships anymore.  I want to be real, honest, vulnerable, and exposed with someone.

anyone else get let down by someone so constantly and keep getting heartbroken and ignored by that person that they become like, a low key trigger for depression and self hate?? or is that just me??

       I’ve been having a lot of free time lately. It’s fine but when I get too much my mind likes to screw around with me. I just cant stop myself from thinking.

    Thing about my mind is i cant stop thinking about shit I’d rather not dwell on.

I keep thinking I’m finally getting over the past,to move forward but it’s like someone suddenly pulls the breaks and I start swerving outta control.

   I think about Chloe and how she wants me to see myself as good. but it’s hard to think that way. I’ve never seen myself like that. I keep lying to her too and,it’s shitty of me I know but I can’t let her know about this.

   And last night Yasha’s asking me if I’ve been feeling down lately. Truth is,yeah I have been. 

     I can’t sleep,cant think. It’s like I’m in a weird daze. I wanna tear my hair out and just go lock myself up somewhere.

   Sorta Ironic for a bastard like me huh?

I feel like a crazy person just thinking about it.

  Dri’s been looking better though,so that’s something good that I’ve seen. I don’t wanna see the kid hurting. He’s too young to deal with crap like he has been.  I’ve been doing the best I can to keep Chloe from breaking down herself,which seems to be happening a lot lately. Reese is having something going on with that friend of his but I don’t know what ,so I’ve gotta figure it out at one point. I cant help but feel me and Yasha are kinda going back to how we were but,not keeping too much hope for that. 

    I think I might start up work again,just to kill some time. Nothing big like I used to when I was alive,but small things. Local stuff. Finding things,catching cheating spouses shit like that. 

juuzoe asked:

dear person i hate and dear past me

Dear person I hate, lmao. I can’t decide if you’re too pathetic for me to waste time on, or if your existence is disgusting enough for me to do something about it. 

Dear past me, things aren’t as bad as you think they are. You feel like shit and everyone is saying it too, but you’ll learn to get by and how to finally deal with your own emotions. Your habit of repressing things has landed me into some deep shit, so I’d advise quitting while you’re ahead. Also, stop drinking, stop cutting, stop everything that you’re doing. Focus on something productive. Focus on your schoolwork. Focus on understanding what is happening around you. Apologize to your best friend for being an asshole and stop pushing her buttons just to get a reaction out of her. But, above all else, appreciate Cartoon Network because it probably isn’t as shitty as it is now. 

4

Ahem, *clears throat*
Usually I don’t personally post on here, unless it’s some unnecessary poetic depressing bullshit, but I would absolutely adore to take a moment to talk about this little gem named Faith, or as I like to call her: garbage man, caveman, mailman, asshat, babe, bb, pissbaby princess, etc.
I constantly wonder where she has been all my life, because ever since she has came into it, I have been nothing but blissfully happy. As you can see, she is obviously stunning, but her mind and personality is just as stunning as her face. I will never get bored of her corny yet witty puns or whenever she drinks a little too much wine and gets emotional, or whenever she gets too sleepy and becomes an affectionate monster (which is my favorite). She is so patient with me whenever I get into my depressive shit moods where I hate everything and don’t want to socialize, she is such a sweetheart about it and waits until I get over it and she’s right there waiting for me to come back. I don’t know man, I’m just so ecstatic to have someone like her in my life who makes my life lovely, I’ve been needing someone like her. ❤️

Cynic. I’m a cynic to love and all the other fetal things. But if one were to ask me what type of love I’d say I want that LSD love. The intoxicating type where two people fall in love too fast and it happens way to quickly, like losing breath and then getting it all of a sudden. You know. I want to the corny stuff but I want the crazy shit too. Where there’s this Byronic sort of passion when we’re screaming at each other. When arguing with me makes you realise why you can’t leave me. I want you resisting the urge to be with me to be painful. I find it sickly comforting that I make u feel such a profound emotion like pain. One word. Masochistic. I want you to need me as much as I need you even though we act like we don’t give a fuck if one of us sleeps with the random person at the party. Friends with benefits? No. One and only. I want the one and only love story. I want you to run away from me and I want to run away from you and I don’t want to look back. I want to cry so hard mascara stains are embedded into the hollow of my cheekbones. I want you to throw your phone across the room after spending hours listening to the cute little random voice notes I sent you about wanting to fuck you. I’m gnna lie under the glow in the dark stars at 2am in the morning listening to sad echosmith and paramore songs thinking of you and smiling because I miss you. Knowing I’ve got one thing ticked on my bucket list. Loving you and getting my heart broken by you. I know I will never be like the other girls. Soulmates? I don’t know. When I find my other half know that he’ll never compare to you but this is how life is supposed to be for me. Love for me, is cynical and that’s how I want us to be.

Dear Tumblr,

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

feelings and also feeling like I shouldn’t express my feelings as a worry that I will come off too emotional. Fuck men. Fuck bartenders who dead name me even though they don’t know and are just trying to be friendly. Fuck me being 27 and not 35 with all my emotional shit fixed. Fuck me making mistakes actually don’t fuck that I LOVE MISTAKES.

I’m at this fucking queer bar where all the dykes in my hometown hang and don’t worry the cis lady made sure to smile REAL fucking huge for the shitty fucking emotionally damaged trans lady in the polka dot dress.

WHATEVER. Here’s a list of things that I think can get fucked: old habits, men, dead names, fear, home towns, assimilation, love, tears, friends, dead friends, family, fuck family fuck you so hard fuck you fuck you for making me do this alone, fuck restaurants that only serve one vegetarian dish, fuck my heart and the tears I’ll cry, fuck my emotions, fuck awkward interactions, fuck tumblr, fuck my stomach, fuck feeling fat and tall and gross, fuck my facial hair that won’t stop growing, fuck my hair dresser for not doing my hair today, fuck my car, fuck my apartment, fuck the kitchen floor in my apartment that always has dirt on it, fuck this vodka soda, fuck feeling like you have to apologize for being a girl, fuck being so scared and awkward, fuck feelings, fuck feeling guilty for not being better at this, fuck feeling like I am a causality, fuck me for being so selfish and alone because if it, fuck gay men, FUCK you queer people who think you’re inclusive but you don’t know fucking anything about trans ladies, fuck you for saying “i’m cisgendered”, fuck me for over talking because I fear my entire community is misrepresented by people but you’re too fucking stoked on Jill Soloway to see how fucking problematic transparent is and how she’s going to end up KILLING more people than she saves, fuck her for not caring about that, fuck you for reading this whole thing, and fuck me I am sorry I am a real person who is in total control of her life but I am just having a hard time because I want to be my own woman without having to lose it all.

Fuck me. I am sorry I am the shittest but I am going to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow and put good work into the world that I think matters and you can totally get fucked if you’re not into that.

Just spent a couple hours painting. It was kind of a throw-paint-at-the-canvas-and-see-what-happens/get-these-emotions-the-fuck-outta-me kinda deal. After I more or less finished with the paintings, I moved on to my arms. Which was actually pretty nice, although I kept writing all the bad shit in my brain on my palm. I managed to sneak some good stuff in there too. The paintings are a lot different from what I’ve done before. Not as blended, and kinda chunky, honestly. I laid that paint on t h i c k. But it was nice. Basically spewing my brain onto the canvas.

I still want to rage and scream and cry and all that, but not quite as much as before. Enough that I don’t know how well I’ll sleep. But I guess it’s time to try.

ikaristwin replied to your posta few years ago i was talking on a forum about…

i got gucci mane next to opeth on my overall charts hahah this must be me too

good choices

my current last.fm doesn’t rly capture my spectrum of interests super well cuz i only actually started using it like two months ago and said two months have been spent in the mother of all depressive funks so it’s just equal parts super emotional pop music and just like grating, ugly noise

and like don’t get me wrong! love that shit, but i rly need to piece my library back together/also remember to download all the albums i own on vinyl so that ppl other than me can know i’m listening to them

Self reflecting on my past yesterday made me feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. You might see a few more posts of my personal exploration. I think the only way I can start to get to the bottom of this depression shit is fully thinking about the past and letting out the emotions that have been locked inside. Today I feel so much emotionally lighter than yesterday. Anyways, sorry for the feels on your dash😌 I’ll keep posting cute fun things too hehe. Thanks to all of the people who have been so fucking nice to me on here for the past few months. Strangers like you people give me hope in this crazy little world🌍🎀
Xoxo,
little kate bunny🐰💖

thesonofdeath asked:

The older reaper looked down, feeling as someone had took away his heart and stepped on it several times. Even thought right now he seemed to be ungrateful piece of shit, he was grateful for the time Seth spent with him and took him away from his solitude. But those words felt harsh on him.

Seth sighed after a few moments of silence. “Don’t get all emotional. Don’t act like I don’t feel shit too. Don’t act like you’re the only one who gets upset, you fucking cut deep on me too. Stop.”

I feel so emotional inside. With my parent’s divorce underway and my hectic schedule I feel like there is no room to cry. It kind of kills me inside when the other parent is kind of shit talking the other. I don’t even hang out with too many girls to even get that type of drama or cattiness with the other. And knowing myself I usually zone out so I don’t take sides of all this. In the end I really just want my parents to find the absolute happiness that they can get. Wherever that may be or whoever they may be with. 


School has got me locked in my room with a 1 1/2 liter bottle of water and cup of coffee ready for an all nighter. It hasn’t even reached the second week of school yet and I’m already feeling the pressure. My study group today consisted of review for the biology part of anatomy and physiology. Which was cake. I got to understand the numbers part of my labs (physics and anatomy and physiology) which I am very thankful for (thanks axsteezy !) 

I just want to stay focus on my goal. It seems so close yet so far with all these things that my counselor left me not knowing. I feel so out of the loop on my future sometimes. 

List of things I need to do this week:

1) Contact Physical Therapy department at LLU

2) Start on FAFSA

3) Finish all three sections of physics homework

4) Read and take notes of physics book

5) Review and set up next study group for anatomy.


aaaand break.

my whole mental chemistry has been really fucked up since i got to the bay

thank god i found basketball to release all this pent up aggression. The whole time trying to cover up every emotion i have with beer and weed hasn’t helped much. There was this weird sensation after sweating and exercising.  I feel like if i keep working out i can at least lose some weight and feel better about being the only person interested in me.Plus, I felt way too great after we played that shit and i was working on my long range shot and its getting there. Give me a month if i go 5 days a week i can get my 3’s up sick. I love the way the ball just goes in the net without touching the rim man. I have this infatuation with basketball that i wish i had when i was in highschool i could have probably done something with it. Plus, i get to work out my legs for free since we got a free gym/fitness center at school so i can start dunking. Only need like one more inch of vertical. I feel like if i focus only on basketball and art ill be good. ill be good. ill be good…ill be good..