And my heart still skips a beat when I hear your keys in the door. I still get butterflies when you hold my hand and smile uncontrollably when I hear someone say your name. And I know it may seem crazy and childish and a little immature but after all these years I’m still madly, unquestionably, irrevocably in love with you.
“Hermione looks different today,” Draco says, a pondering look appearing on his face as he steps into the Great Hall with Harry. The clatter of glasses upon tabletops ring against Harry’s ears, and he stops himself short to take a glance at his best friend.
Hermione’s laughing terribly hard, her hair flying in all different directions as her body curls tightly.
A warm feeling brushes into Harry’s heart; because he can only count the few times she’s been this happy with just one hand.
“It’s been awhile since I’ve seen her like this,” Harry murmurs, and he laces his fingers into Draco’s.
Draco tilts his head down at him, an attempt of something other than a sneer forgone but instead a natural, beautiful grin replacing it.
Draco tugs their hands forward, and Harry trails behind wistfully, an ache in his chest pounding again. Because he sees Headmistress McGonagall sitting in Dumbledore’s seat, and the slight space beside Ron, where his brothers should have been.
Where his brother should have been.
“Come on,” Draco says, his voice soft. He squeezes Harry’s hand, rubbing his thumb across his knuckles.
And all of sudden, Harry is struck with fear in his eyes. It’s repetitive; everything. He sees blasted Death Eaters and students fighting for their lives. He hears shrieks of triumphs and sobs ricocheting off walls.
He sees, he hears, he feels— and he wonders if it’d be better to have nothing at all.
“Harry…” Draco whispers, a hitch in his voice as he leads Harry out of the hall. The sound of rustling leaves and the breath of wind calms Harry down as the grand doors open, and Draco makes sure he’s allowed to touch him.
“Do you want to cuddle?” Draco asks, and Harry almost laughs because the words slipping out of his mouth are close to impossible. He never thought he’d hear that specific sentence come from Draco’s lips. Harry’s surprised, but the butterflies in his stomach are flying catastrophically.
Harry nods slowly, syllables and mumbles still unable to escape into the world beyond. He keeps quiet, giving permission to the Slytherin to guide him under a tree, beneath the dancing leaves fluttering beside them.
The autumn day calls for a sea of brilliant gold, orange and red leaves to prance around the sky like they were made to fly. Harry leans his back against the tree, falling deeper into Draco’s side.
They sit together, away from the chaos and into the silence they had called upon.
“Are you better?” Draco asks, and he tightens his arms around Harry as he nudges his leg against his. His hair is unkempt and the breeze folds into the air. Through the breaks of the branches comes in the sun, shining light onto Draco’s hair, giving an illusion of a halo.
For one, fleeting moment, Harry hopes that time stops. Right at this second; the ethereal glow of Draco’s sun streaked face, a curious look in his eyes; one of hope and love and everything there is to life.
“Yeah,” Harry says. “I’m better.”
And there’s a million more things he wants to say.
I’m better here with you.
I’m better because you’re here.
I’m better because you love me.
I’m better because I love you.
I’m better because you’re my everything.
But the words won’t come out because he’s so afraid to give himself up when he has already lost too much.
“Good,” Draco hums, a lilt to his voice. He rests his chin on top of Harry’s head, after giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek.
And this is the moment when Harry finally realizes that he didn’t need to explain anything, didn’t need to counter his motives and talk about his emotions. Because Draco understands him in a way no one else does, and he is eternally grateful.
He sits with Draco, hand in hand and heart to heart, without talking at all.
The sun sets below the horizon, waving goodbye to the boys who had given up so much— so much they were almost empty. But they had found each other in the midst of it all, and Harry did finally grasp on.
He finally understands the fact that he and Draco were made for each other. That they didn’t even need the words to untangle the story, because they already knew everything from the words that were never spoken.
i just wanted to stop by to say how incredibly beautiful and soothing your writing is and thank you from the bottom of my heart for how you portray both magnus and alec individually but also in their relationship. i have lost a lot of faith in other writers in this fandom but everything you write is a bright spark and so real and true to the characters. thank you for sharing all your work and your incredible gift of how beautifully you string words together! i hope you have an amazing day!
thank you so much
this is very kind. making sure i do both of them and their relationship justice is really important to me. i hope you had a great day too
Always remember these words : Nothing happens ran-dom-ly
Learn to accept what Allah has decided for you
And I swear that sooner or later you will understand. There is always a wisdom behind it but you have to be patient my dear
I’m not saying that’s easy and I know how it is but you have to work on yourself
Each time something happens keep repeating with conviction (for your heart) :
“al hamdulillah al hamdulillah al hamdulillah ▪ tawwakaltu ‘ala llah ×3 ▪ I love Allah I love Allah I love Allah ▪ He only wants what’s good for me ▪ He protects me from something I don’t even know and He knows better than me –> He loves me ♡♡♡ ”
It doesn’t matter if you cry while you are saying this or after, you are a human, it’s our nature to be hurt sometimes and then cry or other feelings. But please no more than 15 minutes, you will hurt yourself a lot, and shaitan will enjoy this situation…
Remember your Lord, Remember your Lord, Remember you Lord
Part. 1 Sin, you are an unbelievably strong person. I'm not going to say I'm sorry for you because I'm pretty sure pity is not what you need. I just wanted to say that I'm really happy that you still stayed strong through this entire journey and I, of course, wished that you wouldn't have to go through this. That jerk surely didn't deserve you. But never less, what hurts us makes us even stronger and after dark time there is always a bright time
It does indeed make us stronger people, and thank you for all your kind words! They warmed my heart! ❤️ you’re so sweet
I’m not going to write about all the times you screwed me over.
I’m not going to make you out to be this bad person.
Because at some point you were what was right for me.
You rescued me when I was lost.
You helped me win the battles with my demons.
You made me feel beautiful.
And when you looked at me, I knew I mattered.
Those are the memories I will remember you by
At some point in time, you did love me.
So no, I won’t hate you
For outgrowing me
But I’m not going to pretend I’m ok with it either…
I think once you move on, you start to see the person as less and you thought they where. They aren’t a hurricane of heart break or a glorious ocean any more. Their eyes don’t remind you of chocolate or the sky, and their presence doesn’t make your heart skip an extra beat. They just become a person who loved you a little less than you loved them.
I’ve wanted to talk for So Long about the portrayal of anxiety in YOI but I’ve been having so much trouble putting together what I want to say in the most effective manner. I kept trying to come at this in a more analytical fashion, but considering that this is such a personally important topic to me, I’m going to try a more emotional approach. Something I don’t normally do.
So really, to start off, I wanna say that I’m so damn thankful for the way Yuuri is written. Really, seriously. I don’t think I’ve ever had the ability to relate more to character; Yuuri is close to a mirror of my own experiences with anxiety and it’s so fantastic to have a model of development and growth for me and people like me. I found the portrayal to be frighteningly accurate, from types of thoughts, behaviors, mannerisms…
I think the episode that stood out to me the most in terms of Yuuri’s anxiety was ep7, aka Yuuri’s on-screen panic attack episode.
The first thing I noticed was this:
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve found myself in that exact position. I bounce my legs when I panic, just like Yuuri is doing here. Head in his hands, breathing heavily, bouncing and jostling limbs. This isn’t the Mary-Sue cutesy portrayal of anxiety–this is a real anxiety disorder. It’s not pretty. It’s not easy. It can’t be fixed with a single word or a touch or a person. Quite frankly, it’s ugly and you lose control of your body.
I don’t know how many times I said: “I can’t do this anymore”. If somebody heard me say it over and over again in all those years, they would probably react like this: “not again” and roll their eyes. But I can tell you one thing, my friend, it never feels less heavy. Every time this sentence appears in my head, in my mouth, in my heart - every time it feels like my soul is ripping itself apart because she knows it hurts less to die than to be alive.
You are so good. So good, you’re always feeling so much. And sometimes it feels like you’re gonna bust wide open from all the feeling, don’t it? People like you are the best in the world, but you sure do suffer for it.
Why is it that
we doubt ourselves
Why is it that
we wonder where we went wrong
instead of where they went wrong?
Why is it that
we let them
define us so easily
and we don’t
blame them for
what they’ve done
Why is it that
we are willing
it was our fault
for being too much
whatever the hell