these were the days of our lives

Dear followers, I have no words to describe what my country is living at this time, when we were just doing damage count for the earthquake from a few days ago, a new 7.1-grade Richter scale shakes us again. We felt it horrible and has claimed many human victims and countless material damages. Today my Mexico is in mourning and my heart too, I thank you for your support and understanding if these days I don’t post as usual, to my fellow Mexican brothers I want to send them so much love 💜 and I’m so thankful to our precious Darren Hayes for his amazing kind words, Mexico loves you too Darren 🇲🇽🇲🇽

Do not support the Red Cross

As someone who’s been in the middle of Harvey, Ike, Gustav, Katrina, Rita and probably any hurricane that’s hit Louisiana in my life, I urge you to not support the Red Cross. Every time they’ve come to “help” they’ve made it worse on the locals and the people they’re trying to give aid to.

For this I’ll use the most recent and most appalling, Harvey. As you probably know Houston was devastated by this storm. Where I live opened up our two biggest centers for the people that the Cajun Navy and other rescuers brought in. Of course the Red Cross took over these centers and within a few days everything crumbled. 

People were I live are incredibly generous and helpful during events like this because we’ve all been through it many times. Every time there’s been a disaster in Louisiana is when you’ll see the community helping each other with anything they might need.

So during Harvey, people here were treading flood waters and gathering all of the clothes, food, and hygiene products they could find. They took all of this to the centers and they started being turned away. They didn’t want to accept clothes donations unless they were brand new, which is appalling. These people left their homes only wearing the clothes on their backs which were covered in flood water, which contains many harmful bacteria. They weren’t going to care if there’s a mustard stain on a shirt, not as long as it was clean and dry. There were people who had been there for days and didn’t have shoes. Both centers have industrial wash rooms for clothes, they could have washed them if need be. Having something is better than nothing.

The most atrocious of it all is that they wouldn’t accept food people made. People here love to cook, we’re raised doing it. Being cooped up in a house for days on end with no work and the kids missing school meant many gumbo pots were being used. These people decided to donate it to the Red Cross, and it was thrown away. Even though they didn’t have enough food to feed the people there. Popeyes, a very popular franchise, had their employees go to work early and prepare food for the people at the shelter. The Red Cross threw it all away. Other restaurants donated hot food, and it was all put in the dumpster. I understand them being skeptical about homemade food because they don’t know people’s intentions, but to turn away restaurant food is wrong. Especially for them to accept the food and then throw it in a dumpster instead of telling the business they couldn’t take the food and the business would have been able to bring it to people that needed it.

Through all of this they just wanted people to donate money. They had the news broadcasting about “families don’t want to be seen digging through clothes on a table to find new ones.” BULLSHIT, we’ve been through this before and clothes are clothes. Giving these people a voucher to Walmart isn’t going to help them when the closest Walmart is 15 minutes away and they don’t have a vehicle or a way to get there. 

I’ve heard from so many places that the Red Cross shouldn’t be trusted, but now that they’ve pulled this shit in my hometown I know better. The local sheriff’s department got the go to chase off the Red Cross, and people from all over the city brought in hot fresh food for the people there. They got them all clothes and shoes and went and bought things for these people to make sure they were at least comfortable. The state then took over and transported the willing ones and all of the pets to Alexandria to a mega shelter where they’ll have more long term care as these other two storms come to be.

If you want to help with the effects of this storm, please find better places to donate! The Red Cross is the most popular and they’re not putting that money to good use. I don’t have links of places so if any of you do please add them here for people to see. It makes me sick to see this happening and I want to do what I can to inform people.

Busybody stay-at-home mom neighbor harasses me until my restraining order kicks her out of her house.

I lived across the street from a very bored stay-at-home mom whose excess idle time turned her into an insufferable busybody.

Her husband backed out of the driveway and slammed into my roommate’s car parked on the curb. He apologized, gave us his insurance info, and took care of it. He was never a problem, because he accepted responsibility for what he did.

His wife, however, demanded that we never ever park any cars at the curb again, because “we can’t get out of our driveway otherwise”. The street was very wide - she was just completely unable to accept that the accident was her husband’s fault, and figured we were somehow responsible for it, ergo we were responsible for preventing it in the future.

We told her that we would avoid parking there whenever possible, but that we still had the legal right to park on the street, and that if necessary we would still do so, and that it was her and her husband’s responsibility to avoid hitting other people’s legally parked cars when backing out of the driveway. She wasn’t happy with that answer, but just told us we better stay out of her family’s way, and stormed off.

One day, she came storming over, banging on the front door, cussing us out. We got her on our security camera saying “If you don’t move that f*cking car in the next 10 minutes, I am going to f*cking total it with my truck. It’ll be your fault, and you’ll have to pay for the damage to my f*cking vehicle”. To this, I simply responded: “I don’t know whose car that is, but I didn’t park it there. I have you on camera, so if you do anything to that car, I’ll have to call the police and hand over this tape”. She then threatened to sue me for invasion of privacy for recording her, and still insisted that we move the car, even though it wasn’t our property. We just ignored her, and she did not do anything to the car - we did keep the recording though.

A few weeks later, I had a friend visit from out of town. He parked his car on the curb, and then started unloading some stuff from his trunk. She came storming out, screaming and cussing at him “I have told you repeatedly never park your f*cking car on this curb. If you don’t move it, I am going to f*cking total it, and you can f*cking pay for a new goddamn car, as well as the damage you do to mine!” He tried to calm her down, and asked if there was somewhere else he could park, and she replied “You can park it in Hell, because that’s where you’ll be after I f*cking kill you!”.

Unfortunately for her, he had his dashcam running the whole time, and it captured everything. He called the police, and she was arrested for threatening to commit vandalism and for threatening violence.

A few days later, she left a long-winded hate-letter in our mailbox. It was written as if it were an open letter from the entire neighborhood, and it basically said that “nobody knows who you are”, and “Everyone wishes you would move away”, and “Nobody wants you living in our neighborhood”.

Thing is, she forgot about the security cameras. I took the video of her opening my mailbox - which included her taking all our letters out of the mailbox and rifling through them - and I gave them to the post office. This led to her getting arrested for a second time that week.

After that, we used her two arrests, our collection of security and dashcam footage, and her letter to get a restraining order against her that actually prohibited her from entering her own home, and then we called the police every time we saw her because she was in violation of the order.

She ended up having to live in a hotel room, and her husband came over, apologized to us, and asked if we would drop the restraining order so his wife could come home. I told him I would do it, but only if she wrote me, my wife, our roommates, and the friend of mine she threatened a 1-page apology for her harassment - and that she would promise to never ever contact us again for any reason whatsoever moving forward.

I received no apology, and the house went on the market a week later.

Some f*cking people…

BTS LETTERS TO EACH OTHER:

Suga to Jin: 

“ To Jinjinjara/Seok-jin!! It’s your eternal roommate, Suga. I can’t believe it’s been 7 years since we’ve known each other. Remember when I first met you? You seemed so well-behaved and kind and you seem so bright and cheerful these days, which amazes me. I believe that being together with us has brought about that change? It seems like yesterday when you were concerned and not confident on stage but when I see you on stage these days, I realize how well you sing. It’s the result of your hard effort for a long period of time. I’ve watched you for a long time. It was touching to see you try to do better at something that you weren’t good at. I felt that I had a lot to learn from you. Let’s be together for a long time. P.S: But I wish you’d act your age”.

Jin to Jungkook: 

“ To Jk, Hi, JK. It’s me. I’m always appreciative of what you do. Thank you for having the same mental age as I do, when I am 26 years old. While traveling with you, I was reminded once again of how strong your punches are. I’ll do better, so please don’t hit me. I think your face got a lot darker during this trip. As the older guy, I’ll give you a facial mask when we go back to Korea. Soothe your skin with it, and also soothe yourself and stop lying on my bed. You keep lying on my bed and taking selfies. You may have gotten a tan in Hawaii, but I will throw you into a fire pit in Korea. Of course, that fire pit is my heart.  Come and be embraced in my big heart. Thank you for being the teacher and the energy of the team. Jungkook, you are nice, good looking, strong, have a  good body, have big eyes, sings and dances well. I love you”.

Jungkook to Rap Monster: 

“To Namjoon, Hey. This is the youngest of the team, Jungkook. I’m not good at writing letters so I don’t know where to start, but here I go. This is something that I always think about. I often get inspired, by the team. Although I’m inspired by all the members, I’m especially inspired by you. I have a lot of things that I wanna do but I never seem to stick to them for long. You guys always joke about that. But when that pattern was repeated, I felt that I have really become that kind of person. Whenever I see you working, talking about or working on music or speaking English, I develop this sense of confidence and passion. I know that things may be tough for you too, but please continue showing those things for me. I’ll keep following you from behind. You’re really an amazing person”.

Taehyung to Jimin: 

“To Jimin. Jimin, hi.  Writing you this sincere letter is making me cringe, but I’m trying to go on. Please understand. Since our trainee days, we came to Seoul without a clue.  We woke up, put on uniforms and attended the same school. We ate together, went to practice together, went to practice and got back to the dorm. Then we’d talk all night. After such 6 years, you’re now my dearest friend. Before our debut, you once got anxious about it. At that time, I had a company meeting. they asked me what I’d think if Jimin is on the team. I thought it over and said that you’re there when I’m up or down, the only one who laughed and cried with me. I said that I’d like such a good friend to debut with me as a team. It felt good to say that. And I’m glad that I was able to debut with you. All our good memories made me happy. And I’m sorry since I’m always on the receiving end. When I’m in the bathroom to cry, you still cry with me. And you come see me at dawn to laugh alongside me. You care about me and have me in your thoughts. You work hard for me and understand. You listen to my concerns and like me though I’m lacking. Let’s walk a road of happiness. Love you, buddy.

Rap Monster to Tae-Hyung: 

“Taehyung, my first letter goes to you. That gives me a mix of feelings. Like the peddles we’ve seen to our heart’s content in Hawaii, it’s hard to pick out what I want to say to you. like the open sea we’ve enjoyed, it may be because we go far back with many memories we share. I remember when I first met you. When you came with your father to our dorm with big eyes, busy legs, and your puckered lips, I knew at once.That you'be a rascal. I also remember how you were anxious before our debut. Your unique character and strangeness got me puzzled at times. so I wondered what aspect of yours helped you to bear everything at times. But as time went by and my hair started to grow out, I realized that even me, who I thought was the norm, is also a strange puzzling guy. And I was drawn by your uniqueness. And I was envious at times because you easily befriend people and everyone likes you. You have shown everyone that your strangeness is actually your unique charm. You might say this makes you cringe, but since you started out as a trainee, I want to say I’m grateful to you as a friend and older member.  Thanks for not being a farmer or playing the saxophone and coming to us to complete BTS. Let’s keep up the good work. Hand in there!”.

Jhope to Suga: 

“To my bro Suga from Jhope, Hey. It’s Hoseok. We’ve been together for 7  years, including our trainee days. When I was first at the dorm, I felt so awkward and shy. So I remained in the living room. Then you came over to talk and made me relax. I still can’t forget that moment. Coming from Gwangju, you were like my savior.  When I was sick or sad, you were always there for me. When I was tired and had it hard; you were there to give me strength. When I got seasick on Bon Voyage 2 and opened my eyes from sleep, the first person I saw was you. Though Jimin was also there. I didn’t say it then, but I really appreciate your help. As much as we’ve spent time together, I’m that much grateful to you. I’d like to say that with this letter at this time. Thanks for becoming a member of BTS. And thanks for being my big brother. I hope you’re always by my side. I love my bro!“.

Jimin to Jhope:

 “To Hoseok. I thought it would be easy because it’s not the first letter to you. But it’s not. I am nervous. Because we talk together a lot and I talk about my feelings to you, I guess you know well what I think or what I want to say. When I look at you, I have this thought: ‘He is really honest and faithful. He is a good and nice one”. I thought like this: “A person can be cool because he is honest and faithful”. I realized it thanks to you.  As a younger brother and a member of the same team, I learn a lot from you. You always take good care of us. you pay attention to us and work hard. I know. I want to say thank you, with all my heart. Thank you, brother! I hope you take care of yourself and stop worrying about us. My dear brother, whom I always am thankful, love you.“

By @mimibtsghost

“It wasn’t an official marriage. We didn’t register. But we had a plan. I was earning good money even though I was young. I was already a specialist at the age of nineteen. She was very beautiful. We’d been together for four years. She was a good person and very easy to talk to. She’d met my family and everyone loved her. At the time I was helping to construct a new subway line in Moscow. I came home from work one day and she was gone. There were no cell phones back then. Nobody knew where she was. She’d last been seen getting into a private taxi with her friend Natalya. A lot of people were disappearing during that time. The police stopped searching after a few months. She wasn’t seen again. There’s a line from a Russian poem. It says: ‘We love just once in a lifetime. And spend the rest of our lives looking for something similar.’ I’ve had other girlfriends after Oksana. But I don’t remember their birthday. Oksana’s birthday was July 9th. She was a Leo.”

(St. Petersburg, Russia)

Bon Voyage S2 Ep.8 - BTS’ letters to each other

YOONGI → SEOKJIN

“To. Jinjinjara, Seokjin-hyung!!

It’s your forever roommate, Suga.

Can you believe I have known you for 7 years… I remember when I met you for the first time. I’m surprised and amazed that the one who used to look so upright and kind… has become very bright and cheerful these days. I believe it’s because you’re with us. It seems like just yesterday you were nervous and not confident when you had to sing and perform on stage, but seeing your performance these days makes me think you sing really well. It’s no doubt the result of working hard for a long time. Even though I have been watching you for a long time, it still touched me how you secretly work hard to make up what you lack in. I thought of you as a hyung whom I have a lot to learn from. Let’s keep going together for a long time in the future too.

P.S: But I hope you can act your age.”

SEOKJIN → JUNGKOOK

“To. JK

Hi JK, it’s hyung.

I’m always thankful to you. Thanks for having the same mental age as this 26-year-old hyung. And traveling with you this time made me feel this once again. Your fists are really strong. I will be good to you, don’t hit me, got it? And your face got tanned a lot. As I’m your hyung I’ll give you facial masks when we get back to Korea. Calm your skin and yourself as well, stop lying on my bed. You keep lying on my bed when I’m not there and send me your selfies. If you do that one more time, your face may have got tanned in Hawaii, but I’ll throw you into the fire pit in Korea. And by “fire pit” I mean my firey heart. You can come into my big embrace. Thanks for always becoming our team’s teacher and energizer. To Jungkook who’s kind and handsome and strong and has nice body and big eyes and sings well and dances well, I love you.”

JUNGKOOK → NAMJOON

“To. Namjoonie-hyung

Hi hyung, it’s our team’s maknae, Jungkook.

I’m not the type to write letters often so I don’t know where to start, but I’ll try this time. This is something I always think about every day, but I really am inspired a lot by our team. Although I’m inspired by all 7 members, but I’m especially inspired the most by you. I always want to do a lot of things but can’t stick to them long, like how you guys always joke with me. But gradually, it feels like I really became that kind of person. When you work, talk about music, compose or speak in English, I feel like I grew a sense of confidence and passion. I know it must be tired for you, but please keep showing me your that cool side of yours in the future. I will keep following you from behind. You are a really awesome person.”

TAEHYUNG → JIMIN

“To Jimin.

Hi Jimin.

It cringes me a little to write a serious letter to you like this, but I’ll try. Hope you understand. When we were trainees, we came to Seoul without knowing anything. We would wake up, put on uniforms, go to school together, eating together after school ends, go to the practice room together, go back to the dorm together, and chat together at night. 6 years passed and unknowingly, you have become my dearest precious friend. There was a time before we debuted when you were anxious because of the debut. I had a meeting with the company at that time. They asked me “What would it be if Jimin was on the team?”. After thinking for a while, I said, “There’s no one who’s by my side when I’m tired or happy to laugh and cry with me but Jimin. I hope such a friend could be by my side. I want us to debut together.” It felt good to say that. I’m happy that we was able debut together and make lots of good memories. And sorry, because I’m always the one who take. Even know, you still cry with me when I cry in the bathroom, laugh with me when we sneak out at dawn, care about me and think of me, work hard because of me and understand me, listen to my worries, liking someone who’s lacking so much like me. Let’s keep walking together on the flower path for a long time. I love you, my friend.”

NAMJOON → TAEHYUNG

“Taehyung-ah.

So my first letter is to you. I have mixed emotions. Like the pebbles on the beach we saw in Hawaii, it’s hard to pick out what I want to say to you. Maybe it’s because we’re cherishing so many memories and so many moments like the sea we saw? I thought of the time when I first met you. Seeing you following your father, roaming around the dorm with big eyes and pouty lips, I already felt it from first sight. “This kid will be a rascal”. I remember how anxious you were before we debuted. Your unique and strange character is so vague that I sometimes questioned what’s in you that helped you endure all the way here. But as time passes and I mature more, I learned that even I, who I myself thought was the most normal, am quite strange and unique like an alien. I was drawn by your strangeness. Sometimes I really envy you. Because you can get close easily to anyone and everyone likes you. Your strangeness proved to be your unique charm. It may sound cringeworthy, but as a friend, a hyung who have been with you from the beginning of your trainee journey to now, I wanted to say thank you to you. Thank you for not becoming a farmer, not playing saxophone and came to Big Hit instead. Let’s keep up the good work. Fighting.”

HOSEOK → YOONGI

“To. My bro Suga
From. J-hope

Hi hyung? It’s Hoseok.

Without realizing, we have been together for 7 years, including our trainee days. When I first moved to the dorm, I was awkward and unfamiliar with everything, so I only stayed in the living room, but you came and talk to me first, helped me relax. I still can’t forget that time. You were like the savior to me, a Gwangju kid. Always by my side when I’m hurt, always by my side when I’m sad. You’re always there to support me and become my strength when I’m tired or exhausted. When I was tired from seasickness in Bon Voyage 2 this time, the first one I saw after opening my eyes was you. I couldn’t say then but I was really grateful to you. Through this letter and this chance, I want to tell you again that my gratitude to you is as great as the time we spent together. Hyung, thank you for becoming a member of BTS, thank you for becoming my dependable brother. Please keep staying by my side forever. I love my bro.”

JIMIN → HOSEOK

“To. Hoseokie-hyung

This wasn’t my first letter to you so I thought it wouldn’t be hard, but it was indeed not easy. I’m nervous. You’re the one whom I talk and share a lot with so think you’ll know well what I think and what I want to say. What do I think when I see you? “This person is really truthful and sincere”, “This person is really upright and kind”. You are probably the first one that made me understand a person can become this cool just by being truthful and sincere. As your brother and fellow member, I have a lot to learn from you. I wanted to tell you that I know you are always working hard to take care of us and I’m always sincerely thankful to you. Thank you, hyung. I hope you can take care of your body and stop worrying too much. To my hyung who I’m always thankful for, I love you.”

The Arkansas Sleep Experiments

by reddit user nazisharks

To Those Who Sleep

This happened a few years ago. You may have heard rumors if you’re on campus. Some even circulated online. Nobody knew what really happened. Because I’m the only one who knows and I kept quiet. For a multitude of reasons. None of them matter now. Here’s what really happened.

The four of us were handpicked for this experiment by Prof. Richardson because we’d all studied under him, worked under him, and, as much as anyone can, earned his confidence.

He said this one was different. We had to keep it quiet. He wanted to keep details to a minimum. All he would tell us before going in was that he required a month of our lives and that if he succeeded sleep would never again be a necessity.

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The Day You Were Born

*Note. This is a very minor factor in the human psyche, and not technically a component of the natal chart. Each day of the week has an energy which it imparts to individuals born on it, but it is vague and often a subtle undertone or theme rather than a prominent, overt, direct influence. This is closely related to the “mundane” matters of the 6th house, the everyday aspect of our lives, and how you approach or behave in that area. The planet ruling your day of birth may be interpreted to have increased energy or importance in your natal chart.


SUNDAY || Sun

People born on Sunday tend to have well-defined identities, or at least a strong sense of self, and they deeply value their individuality. They can be very creative individuals, full of vitality and unique personal power, and they’re often well-liked for their radiance. Above all, their opinion of & belief in themselves drives them in their everyday lives. Their actions revolve around independent choice.


MONDAY || Moon

People born on Monday tend to be rather sensitive and emotionally responsive. Their feelings are deep & strong, and typically have a significant influence over their actions. Privacy and comfort are priorities in their everyday lives; they strive to feel safe, and may be reserved. They can be profoundly compassionate. They value their memories, which are usually vivid & clear, and protect their history.


TUESDAY || Mars

People born on Tuesday tend to be energetic and forthright, with a vital intensity and passionate disposition that carries them throughout their everyday lives. Taking action and being decisive are important to them; strength of character, ambition, and progress help define who they are. They enjoy exhilaration and feed off adrenaline, so they could be reckless thrill-seekers if they’re able.


WEDNESDAY || Mercury

People born on Wednesday tend to be thoughtful and inventive. Their minds are central to their identity; the cultivation, communication, and manifestation of ideas is often what their everyday lives revolve around. Exchanges are crucial to their well-being, as conversation is their main avenue of self-expression. They tend to be busy-bodies, focused on a perpetually-flowing daily process.


THURSDAY || Jupiter

People born on Thursday tend to have “big” personalities; they’re often open, expressive, & engaging. Being a part of the world around them is vital to their happiness, & that is what their everyday lives revolve around. The pleasures of life are their hobbies. Their minds & hearts are expansive, giving them grand ideas & grand connectivity. The deeper meaning of things is important to them.


FRIDAY || Venus

People born on Friday tend to be charming & generally likeable. They’re polite, graceful, and easygoing, with rather “breezy” and warm personalities which attract others to them. They have a good sense of style & know how to present themselves in appealing ways. Beauty, indulgence, pleasure, & self-esteem are what their everyday lives revolve around. Their values are important to them.


SATURDAY || Saturn

People born on Saturday tend to have solid, responsible personalities. They are focused, determined, and disciplined. They may be reserved individuals with anxious dispositions or a cool, collected mien typically mistaken for coldness. Their strong, definite ambitions and continuous self-improvement are what their everyday lives revolve around. They are dignified, independent hard-workers.

90s' Alt Bands Asks

Oasis: Do you wear sunglasses often? Are you a beer, wine, or liquor person? Do you prefer the stars or the moon, the land or the sea? Do you have a lot of regrets? Would you ever want to be famous?

Blur: Do you like sunny weather? Do a lot of people know about your sexuality? Are you a city or country person? Favorite brand of athletic wear? Do you like your smile?

Nirvana: Do you belive in God? Are you a flannel or sweaters person? Where’s your happy place? Do you like your family? What stereotype were/are you closest to in high school?

Red Hot Chili Peppers: Are you a go-with-the-flow person? What’s a dream you’ve had that you’ll never forget? Are you spiritual at all? What was the saddest point in your life? What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

Manic Street Preachers: Do you believe that humans are good? What’s your signature makeup or fashion statement? Are you a books or a movie person, and what are some of your favorites? Do you see yourself as an outcast? Are you nostalgic?

Elastica: What’s your dream car? Favorite card game? Do you consider yourself cool? Vinyl, cassettes, CDs, or digital? What’s a haircut/style you’ve always wanted to get?

Radiohead: Is there possibility of life on other planets? What’s your favorite jacket? Do you like spring, summer, fall, or winter most? Can you recognize any constellations? Are you an extrovert, an introvert, or an ambivert?

Hole: Favorite kind of candy? Do you wear skirts/dresses or jeans more? Do you think you could ever kill someone? Who’s your favorite poet? Did you ever dream of being prom queen, even secretly?

Bikini Kill: Have you even been to a protest or rally? What was your favorite outfit as a kid? Have you ever had/do you have a girl gang? In a book, movie, or video game, what would be your character’s weapon? What’s something you love about your gender, and something you feel like you’ve missed out on because of it?

Pearl Jam: What charity do you donate to (or would like to donate to) most? Do you think art should be a mode of autobiography? What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever survived? Were/are you good at school? Where’s somewhere you’ve always wanted to roadtrip?

Smashing Pumpkins: Do you feel like you unload or bottle up your emotions? Are you the oldest, middle, youngest, or only child, and does your personality match that? Do you consider yourself ambitious? Aesthetically, what era of history most intrigues you? Do you like sunsets or sunrises, night or day?

R.E.M.: What was your biggest heartbreak? Do you like the feeling of leaving for new places, or do you get homesick fast? Are you an optimist or a pessimist, or other? Do you like jazz or classical music? Have you ever been nightswimming?

Marcy Playground: Do you like going for walks at night? What were some of your favorite childhood bands? Favorite planet in our solar system? Would you rather live in a different galaxy, or at the bottom of the ocean? What were the best days of your life?

My First One Star Review on AirBnB

Story by shawk11/reddit

Buckle up boys and girls. My buddy and I just experienced some grade-A Creepyshit while on a trip to Red Rocks in Colorado. I write a lot of things down anyway and so I figured I might as well post the story here and see what you guys think.

So who here has used AirBnB? raises hand. I think I’ve used it no less than twenty times. All great experiences up until this point, seriously.

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when i was seven the sea-witch cursed me.

she cursed my great-grandfather, actually, who had spat on the hands of the ocean and disrespected the beating heart of the earth - for what else are waves but a pulse - who was silly and violent and who tried to rip from the water what was hers by rights. we were wealthy, before that, a family of merchants. my mother says in her youth she recalls white horses, the gleam of candles, early mornings with bread baked fresh by a horde of servants.

he didn’t ask permission to cross her. that’s what my mother tells me while she spoons porridge with no flavor into the wood of my bowl. he had no faith in superstition, rode with boats that were more decoration than strength, the folly of a man who was cruel and vain and proud of his own gold teeth. the sky had been blue, so regardless of what the village witch said, he would sail that day. and when his boat sank; their lives turned blue like the sky that day.

my mother says she thinks the curse on the men of our family, even if they come in when they marry, is that they will forever be violent, too foolish to see the storm on the horizon. she whispers this to me on the eve of my seventh birthday, while father is his own storm, thundering around the house, looking for her. later, when i am cleaning the cut by her cheek, she tells me the curse is on the women to forever be unhappy, to wane until they are shadows, to walk into the deep like a sinking ship. 

we don’t burn candles often, they are too expensive. she tells me this in the silk of a dark room. the moon kisses her hair. 

in three days, my mother will walk into the ocean, and my father will be my own problem. the curse will pass onto me. 

my father does not believe in superstition, no curse to conquer him. when he is gone, and i am heartbroken, i go to the village witch. i ask her to teach me about magic, and other things, and about how the ocean can be coaxed, and how to save my father’s soul. 

and my hands rot too, keeping a house by myself with things i barely knew. i learn the art of a good scrubbing, keep my mind full of white horses while i endlessly clean, dream of candles in dark while i make the bread that he will not allow me to eat. he keeps me from the ocean, from visiting the place that took my mom, from following in her footsteps where the water makes women undone.

i am sixteen when i see her in the water of a bowl. she scares me so completely that i drop it, and my father comes in with his hands, and the curse, and i almost forget all about it. it isn’t until after that i realize she is beautiful, and young, which surprises me. 

i think about it every evening. her face becomes distorted to me. i can no longer remember the exact shape of it, only the impression of beauty. 

i turn seventeen and wait for the high moon. i pin safety to my vest in little witch herbs and runes. i put naked toes on the sand and slip closer, closer, to the avenue of my family’s doom. i find a little private beach, small and surrounded by rocks, hidden from my father in the event he ever thought to come looking. at high tide, it is barely the span of my body. at low, it feels empty.

the witch of the land has given me what i need to call in the witch of the sea, but i do not use it. it feels wrong, somehow, standing here in the wind and the quiet pulse of the world. i put down the incense and sage and i sit just close enough it feels wild, dangerous - but not close enough to get caught up in thrill. 

when nothing happens, i go home and i make bread that i will not eat.

for months i do this. i climb down to my beach. i learn to do it when the moon is half, and then when the moon is empty. i learn to do it so well that sometimes i go to sleep in my own bed and wake up by the water. i take to sleeping with warding runes to keep me from being pulled in the rip out to the waiting hands of a hungry sea-witch.

i don’t know when i start talking. more often i sing, because singing in my house is not allowed, and something about the way the rocks echo my voice feels comforting. the older i get, the more i can pretend i hear my mother’s voice, answering me, harmonizing gently. i sing songs about sadness and lullabies about curses. when i have exhausted every song i know, i write new ones about fathers who have never learned how to be kind, about the house i work in but do not love, about mothers who left, and about a sea witch.

i see her sometimes. in a puddle, in the drop of rain, in the strangest places. i never expect it, although i always hope. i am never able to see her for more than the length of a wave, breaking, and each time, it does something new to my heart.

at eighteen i am too much of my father’s burden. he tries to unload me onto other men. the land witch helps me with this. i rub hemlock, burn wolfsbane. we arrange so these men have other women to marry. the news of my curse is bad enough to scare most away. my father is not happy.

after a particularly savage night, i wonder how bad it could be. i could marry some boy from the village who didn’t quite bother me. i suppose they’re not ugly. timothy had always been gentle to me. i think about a life, and how i am cursed to be unhappy. my father would finally be proud of me.

i walk to the beach and i tell the waves about him and how i could convince myself it was love if i just never wanted from him. how i could be okay, if not content, how i could be free, how i already had learned life down on knees.

but i go home and i write a rune of warding. and the years pass and i find reasons each suitor is wanting. and the sea witch i see, sometimes, peeking out at me, staying long each time in the water, looking, watching. i see her in mirrors when my father storms against me. it is bad because he mistakes the cause of my smiling. it is better when she is there the next morning.

and i go to the ocean. when i am too sad to speak, it seems like the ocean is whispering for me. i picture my mother’s voice and tell myself i am happy. i am seven again and we are sewing. i am seven again and the curse has not been given to me. i am seven and she came home after she walked to the sea.

i grow silly, brave, unthinking. i leave behind the herbs and i wade deep. i teach myself the art of swimming. i am bad at it, at first, but something about it feels good to me. like the ocean wants to buoy me. in the day i think of it, guilty. what if there was a rip tide, and the water took me? who would care for my father if i stepped off the beach into a long drop? wasn’t i clever enough to know that the ocean is uncaring?

it is not this that does it. i go out after a rain and i slip on the rocks and suddenly i am in water above my head but without the moon i cannot see the up of it. i kick and i thrash and the water surrounds me. the tide pulls on my body and in the cold i feel my body grow weary. water spills into me. it punches through my body, up my nose and into my lungs and some part of me knows this is what mother felt before she was gone.

i kick ground by accident, reorient, drag myself heaving and spitting into the air. i lie there for a long time, half in and half out of death, enjoying the sensation of breathing and of life.

when i look up, i think i see her, watching me, her brows knit with something like worry. but we make eye contact and my heart leaps and then she is gone and i am left alone with nothing but the dawn breaking.

my father is furious when there is no bread. he finds my hair wet, and the salt of the ocean still smelling on me. and that is it. that day he goes out and pays someone to agree to marry me.

this feels right to me, i think. i’m twenty-one, three times seven, a perfect number for a curse to fully come down on me. i will be wed in three weeks.

the land witch comes to visit me. she looks like she’s sorry for me. she gives me a spell and tells me to put it under my pillow; i’ll dream of love and it will soothe me. instead i dream of the seawitch, and how wonderful she is, and the sight of her, out on the water, worried.

even though it is risky, i go down to the beach. i do not bother with protective spells, i have already seen that the water can kill me. fear alone keeps me from wandering. i sit on the beach and in the sand i draw runes for understanding and i make the small magicks i’ve spent years learning and i close my eyes and i ask the ocean “why do you do this to me.”

i fall asleep. i dream that the sea witch talks to me. i dream she is my age, that she is the great-granddaughter of the first to curse my family. i dream she has spent years watching, learning, finding the truth of me. that she just needs to get the courage to come and speak, that she has fallen in love with my singing, that she knows no curse but the one in her heart that brings her back to a human, to a creature of air and not water, to a mistake in the making.

in the dawn i know it is a dream and no more. i make bread. i pour water out before it can make mirrors. i do not look. i do not like the ache that has filled me, as if i’ve been looking for an answer and the answer only leads to longing.

the man i meet - my husband-to-be - is delighted by the house i keep. he believes a woman should keep in her place, and her place should be clean. he hears from neighbors that sometimes i sneak out to the land witch’s house. laughter barks out of him. not going to allow that behavior, not me. he does not believe in curses. he will pack me up and move me from the ocean to somewhere in the mountains, where i know nobody. and i will, he promises, learn to keep my place, and that place clean.

i tell myself i could love him. he is not ugly. he says i’m pretty enough after whiskey. my father mentions i used to sing. i refuse to perform for these men so instead i make them cookies. they laugh and talk about me, even when i am in the room, as if they cannot even see. they shake hands and talk about how useless a woman is for much else than breeding. it’s very funny. the man meets my eyes and promises he’ll put a baby in me. i look down and pretend the thrill i feel is excitement, not fear brewing in me.

the land witch comes by a week before my wedding. she is smaller these days, aging. her apprentice and i get along wonderfully. the two women stand before me, holding something. 

a small box, so tiny and lovely. “break the curse,” the witch whispers, “learn to be happy.”

i smuggle the box, take it everywhere with me. it is days before i have a moment to slip away, to open it by the sea. i take a candle with me, even though my father will notice and be angry.

by the light of fire i read the spell they have left me inside, and then i am so full of gratitude i cannot stop crying.

it must be a full moon, so i must wait. in the meantime, i walk home, and i bake. 

i do not see the seawitch, even though i look for her. maybe i have wounded her, getting married. my father asks why i keep smiling. i tell him it is because i am finally with a man. he grunts and says to stop looking so silly. 

the man kisses me. i let him. we are married on a night with a full moon, and i poison him and my father in the bread i did not eat. i think of how these men were cursed so they could not see a storm coming. i watch them as they lie there, dying, and then i put all of the things i own into a basket for the land witch. i leave it there with a song i wrote for her, a spell i know will make her happy, will stop the aging of her joints, will give her the kind of relief she gave me. 

i go down to the water. i find myself running, even though i am in no hurry. i know the way so well it is like i wake up there, panting. i ask permission first. i lay out the contents of the box, i organize and practice and when the needle and pain comes, i am ready for it. i am used to pain at night. i breathe into it and walk naked into waters that swallowed my mother.

i chew bitter herbs. i swallow fire. i feel myself drown as i change from land witch to sea witch. 

when it is done, i open my eyes in the deep of a moonlit ocean. and i see her. 

this time she does not flicker. this time when i reach for her, she is there, and she is pushing my hair out of my eyes, and we are kissing with the ocean rejoicing around us, and i am laughing, and i hear her voice as clear as bell inside me.

and we live like this, a whole world between us where white horses are the size of pinky fingers and swim with their thin snouts, where i need no candles because i was raised lightless, where we have no servants but the water takes care of us. i show her the magic of land and she unfolds the magic of water. together we are unstoppable. when i come up to the air to sing little girls a promise that they can survive the madness, she sings with me, and we make a beautiful harmony.

it used to be so easy with you, you know?
we would stay up late and talk about our feelings and the future that was ahead of us. we talked about how we changed each other’s lives and how special we were to one another. we used to talk all throughout the night, not even stopping when the sun was rising again, indicating that another day had just begun. we used to talk and talk and talk. and still, i could have listened to you for many more hours because i always felt like i needed to hear your voice just a little bit longer.
it used to be so easy with you, you know? what happened to us?
—  e.s. // the old us.
2

“ In 1976, in Phoenix, Arizona a child was born. He was precocious, full of life, and determined, and grew up to become the singer of one of the biggest rock bands in the history of music. His name was Chester Bennington, and band is Linkin Park. MTV asked me to come here to say a few words about Chester, and the late great, Chris Cornell. Two artists I had the absolute pleasure of touring with. They were close friends with one another. Chester even singing the cover of the classic Hallelujah at Chris’ funeral. Chester said of Chris Your voice was joy and pain and anger and forgiveness, love and heartache, all wrapped up into one. Just weeks later, Chester himself was gone. Chester was my friend as he was to so many. Witnessing his life taught me important things, especially about working relentlessly, pursuing dreams, and being kind and caring while doing it. When I think about him I see his face, which was always smiling, I think about his heart which he wore on his sleeve, I think how kindly he treated me, my brother, Tomo, our band. I think about his wife and his six. Six incredible children. I think about his family, I think about his band, who were really his brothers. And I remember his voice. At once ferocious and delicate. That voice will live forever.

If there is anyone out there who is watching this tonight who feels like there is no hope, hear me now. You are not alone. There is always a way forward. Reach out, share your thoughts. Do not give up and I promise you this, the absolute biggest breakthroughs in life lay just beyond the darkest days. “

Make me live in unlivable conditions? Let's see how that works out for you.

I have been living in my current apartment for about 11 months and a week. My roommate and I were prepared to renew our lease but in this last month the quality of our apartment has fallen off a cliff.

There are several three foot holes cut in the walls of the hallway dripping water filled with black, white and green mold that have been open with no additional repairs for almost a week. Then our hot water went out and after three days of submitting service requests online and calling the front office I finally threatened legal action. Then when the repair guys finally came (at 5pm on a Friday after I had been calling it in since Wednesday morning) the repairman kept bitching and moaning how I was ruining his weekend. And for the week proceeding and following my water heater repair my pipes have intermittently been pumping up brown and yellow water.

I went to my leasing office to complain and tell them about the issues. I brought photos and videos of all the issues and told her about the repair staffs rudeness. Her responses were “My repair guys wouldn’t say that, you’re making it up.” , “It’s just mold it’s not going to kill you and we don’t have to tell you anything about repairs not inside your apartment so why don’t you just mind your business?” and “Yeah, repairs take time, you couldn’t be patient.” and my favorite, “It’s just rust, you’ll be fine.”

She then had the GALL to tell me if we were renewing our rent would be going up. I canceled my lease right then and there. But here is where my true revenge begins.

After signing a new lease at a new apartment building I wrote a six paragraph, scathing account of the incidents including, photo and video. These then went on Yelp, Google, Rent, ApartmentGuide, ApartmentList and every other realty website I could find. I sent copies to their corporate headquarters, the Fair Housing Agency, the Code Enforcement Agency and a lawyer. I’ve already been told that what I went through constitutes ‘inhospitable living conditions’ and that I am not obligated to pay rent while living on these terms.

If they’d just done the repairs, apologized for the delay and left my rent alone they would have had us for another whole year.

Now (thanks to AdWords) every time you google my apartment complex, the first result is my scathing review and pages of photos of brown water, rotting wood and mold.

Free The Animal

Word Count: 6k

Genre: Smut, Angst (will I ever stop being emo?)

Author’s Note: You ever forget that you’re a fanfic writer then you write a fic so bad you remember how much of a hack you are? Yeah welcome to my fic :’D

dom!jungkook- fuckboi!jungkook- fuckbuddy relationship- dirty talk- thigh riding mention because damn even I am not immune to his thighs- inspired by Sia’s song and part of the song drabble game. You can find links to the rest of them on my masterlist

Loving You To Death (Sequel)

There he was with his hands up some girl’s skirt, grinding on her like he was trying to fuck her through their clothes, the fucking pig. You huff and turn to your friend who gives you an exasperated look, “___, just go and grab him by the dick and tell him he can’t fucking do that.”

“He can do whatever the fuck he wants to do, even if that is a bleach blonde bitch with a tan that makes her look like an Oompa Loompa.” That was pretty low, you admit. It wasn’t the girl’s fault that Jungkook had chosen her for the night. But seriously, there was a limit to tanning, this was just harmful to the eyes.

“No, he can’t because you’re together.” Your friend, Hwasa, sounds pretty fed up with you.

“No, we’re not. We’re just fuck buddies and we agreed that we’re not exclusive right from the start.” Why wasn’t she understanding this? You’d explained it to her a thousand times.

“I don’t care what bullshit you told each other. All I care about is what I see, and that is two idiots constantly doing all they can to piss each other off because they can’t communicate like adults.”

“What are you even talking about? Jungkook is not trying to piss me off. He’s just being himself. Which is admittedly annoying in and of itself but you know…”

“Then why did he do nothing the past three days but play video games while you were off galavanting with Jin, only to start making out with some girl the minute you make an appearance?”

“He did?” You asked surprised, only to check yourself back and shrug it off. “I don’t know, he must have just not felt like it.”

“Oh my god, save me from these two idiots.” Hwasa cries then takes you by the shoulder and starts shaking you, “He’s fucking jealous because you took Jin to meet your family and not him so he’s trying to piss you off. Why? Because he likes you. And you’re pissed off. Why? Because you like him. Now can you get that through your thick skull or do I have to beat it into you?”

Man, you’ve never seen the normally so cool and chic girl lose her temper like that. “He likes me?” You ask slowly, and she nods.

“And I like him?” You point a finger to yourself, enunciating every word like you were speaking to someone who didn’t understand your language.

“Fucking yes!”

You look towards Jungkook and for a second the unrecognizable source of your anger with him rears its ugly head and it looked an awful lot like jealousy… No, that’s not possible. You’re just too easily persuaded with Hwasa’s strong conviction under the influence of the alcohol. The only emotion you felt towards the tall arrogant asshole that could be described as loving is loving to hate him. “Don’t be ridiculous.” You dismiss her. “I know how I feel towards Jungkook and that’s pure and unadulterated annoyance, nothing more.”

“Then why don’t you break up with him?”

“What?”

“If he really does nothing more than annoy you then why don’t you break up with him and save yourself the trouble?” She challenges, seeming pleased with herself.

“Because he’s fucking hot.” You say as if that’s common sense, completely ignoring her implication that you’re dating him in the first place.

“There are dozens of hot guys in this college, even hotter than him. Take Namjoon for example, he’s hot AND smart, and he knows how to treat a girl right. Not like that douchebag.”

“Yeah, Namjoon is pretty smokin’ but have you considered that I like fucking Jungkook because he’s an asshole? College fucking sucks and it’s too stressful for me. I need something to let the frustration out on and that’s Jungkook. He takes whatever I give him and I take his frustration too. It’s like a symbiotic relationship. Primitive attraction. I can’t find that in anyone else, and if I did he’d be just like Jungkook because that’s the entire premise.” You take a deep breath then continue, “And I don’t like him and he doesn’t like me, this is just a stupid thing to tide us over until college is over and we can find people we’ll actually want to treat right. God help whatever unlucky girl he ends up with.” You chuckle but Hwasa doesn’t share your amusement.

Eventually, she relents, “Fine, I just hope you know what you’re doing.”

“I am,” You assure her. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go home. This place stinks and I’m all sweaty, and the view doesn’t exactly inspire my lunch to stay inside my stomach.” You look pointedly towards Jungkook who you find looking back at you smugly. You roll your eyes at him then turn back towards your friend. “I’ll go take a shower and sleep.”


You step out of the shower, ready to put on your comfiest PJs and make a cocoon for yourself out of your cozy covers, when you’re met with the sight of Jungkook sitting on your bed, and tapping his foot impatiently.

Once he sees you, he gets up and pins you against the back of the door you were still standing by with a hungry kiss. “You’re late.” He states.

“Huh?” You ask, still dazed by his sudden appearance and the intense kiss.

“You said you’ll come back after two days. You were gone for three.”

“Oh, that.” You furrow your eyebrows, wondering why he was asking you about that when you pressed up against him with just a towel covering your body.

“My mum was so charmed by Jin that she insisted we stay another day. I swear, that guy doesn’t know how to turn it down.” You laugh, oblivious to the glare on Jungkook’s face, “But oh well, at least she bought the whole spiel of him being you.”

When you’d started your fuckbuddy relationship with Jungkook, you weren’t careful about not mentioning him to your mum. So whenever she called you, you’d tell her you were doing this or that with Jungkook. You were spending such a huge amount of time with him –when you weren’t fucking, Jungkook could put on an okay impression of a decent human being, and he was pretty funny too– that your mum presumed he was your boyfriend.

You tried lying and saying that he’s just a friend but she wouldn’t have it so you ended up just agreeing that he was, in fact, your boyfriend. You just didn’t have the heart to tell your sweet, loving mum that Jungkook was just the dude who put his penis in her daughter on the daily, sometimes more than once.

It went fine until the holidays came around and your mother demanded that she finally meet this Jungkook who has been seeing her daughter for so long. Obviously, you never would, in a million years, let them meet. Jungkook was too crass and misbehaved. You didn’t want to give your mother a heart attack yet, so you convinced Jin, a dear friend of yours, to go in Jungkook’s place and pretend to be him. To which he so kindly agreed.

Jin was an instant hit at the family reunion. He was loved so much that he was invited to stay over for a longer time, which he again agreed to because Jin is an attention-loving whore and he’d never turn down an opportunity for people to praise him. You would have had to stay more if you didn’t chew Jin’s ear off and gave him a well-delivered punch to the gut. The following day, he suddenly remembered that your classes start early and he told your mum that you needed to leave. She was disappointed, more than she ever was when you were visiting alone, but she’ll live.

“I don’t know why he needed to pretend to be your boyfriend when I’m not.”

“You know why.” You glare at him.

“Because your lovely mother would drop dead if she knew the real nature of our relationship? If she knew the filthy things I do to you. The filthy things you beg me to do to you.” He smirks, grinding against you.

“Yes, that’s exactly why.” You moan, letting your head fall back against the door and enjoying the friction.

“You could’ve just taken me, you know. But I guess you wouldn’t have been able to be in the same room as me without begging me to finger you under the table.”  He trails kisses down your neck, harsh and painful, but all the more delicious.

“Perhaps. Or maybe you wouldn’t have been able to keep in your moans while I fucked you, making the entire house hear you telling me how my pussy is the tightest you’ve ever had and how much you can’t get enough of it.” You parrot back the words he told you the night before you left.

He groans, suddenly throwing off your towel and pressing a finger against your slit, “Brave words, little girl, but look how you’re already so wet for me.”

“And you’re telling me if I go down on my knees and unzip your overly tight jeans I won’t find your cock red and twitching?” You say through clenched teeth, doing exactly that and taking his pants and boxers off. Jungkook doesn’t disappoint, you find him already hard and ready.

“Well, as long as you’re down there why don’t you shut up and show me what that sharp mouth of yours was really made for? And don’t tease.” He warns, making short work of his shirt then throwing it away, leaving you both completely naked.

“Hmm, I don’t know. You completely ignored my texts earlier and chose to continue feeling up that blondie. Why should I give you what you want now?” You lightly trail your index finger up and down his length.

“You can’t expect me to drop everything I’m doing the second your highness decides to come back. You’re good, baby, but you’re not that good.” He grips his cock and circles the head of it around the shape of your lips, mesmerized by the way the softness of your lips give way underneath him. Your tongue peeks out and curls around his head, sucking on it and stopping his movement.  

You let his dick go out of your mouth with a pop that had him hunching over, his shadow engulfing you. “Is that why you were waiting so patiently for me a few minutes ago like a good boy?” His cocky smile falls and you smirk triumphantly, knowing you had him. “She must not have been any good at all to have you running back to me so soon. Are you losing your touch, Kookie?”

“Oh, but she was great baby. The most submissive little thing. She was prepared to do anything I wanted. She would’ve done anything to please me. But that’s boring. You know I like a challenge. I prefer your brand of submissiveness. It’s much more satisfying getting a stuck up and spoiled bitch like you to swallow her pride and beg for my dick. I love breaking you down, baby.” Jungkook finishes you off cleanly. He always found a way to do that. “Now shut up and suck me off.”

He’s being entirely too cocky, but with a dick like that, he has every right to be. That doesn’t stop you from continuing to tease him though, knowing that soon enough he’d take the lead anyway and he never goes soft on you. You use your tongue to follow all the lines on his dick, paying special attention to the groove separating the head from the shaft, never once taking him in your mouth like he wants you to.

“You really want to be punished today, don’t you?” He tugs harshly on your hair, pulling your head back and using his other hand to slap his cock against your cheek a few times. “Answer me.”

“Yes, sir, punish me real good.” You say it tauntingly, but it gets to him anyway, and he handles you even more roughly to show you he deserves the title.

“Open up your mouth and don’t you dare close it until I’m done using it. I don’t care if you have to breathe or if you’re fucking choking, you’ll take it like the good girl you are. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.” You rush to say, pushing your tongue out to get him to fuck your mouth already. That doesn’t please him and he gives another harsh tug on your hair that makes tears sting your eyes, “At least try to pretend you’re not such a slut.” He sneers, but you know he loves it.

You pull your tongue back into your mouth and give him your biggest puppy eyes, and finally, finally, he pushes his cock inside, sticking to shallow staccato thrusts that hit the back of your throat for just a split second each time. You had missed the weight of him on your tongue so you close your eyes and moan around him, like the girls in those over the top chocolate commercials,  except unlike them, you weren’t exaggerating your pleasure.

But your moan soon turns to multiple impatient ones when Jungkook keeps up his shallow, sparse thrusts. “What is it? Does baby girl want more?”

You moan out a yes, not daring nor wanting to pull your mouth off of him in order to vocalize your need better. “Do you think you deserve it? Lying to me and being gone for so long? How do you think I’m supposed to take care of my needs when my little cum bitch isn’t around?”

You thought the question was rhetorical so just give him another pleading moan but he takes his cock out of your mouth and says, “Answer me.”

“Uh…fuck other g-girls?” Was that the right answer? You weren’t sure what he wanted you to say, and you didn’t know why your own answer annoyed you so much.

“I could have, but where would I find someone like you?” You feel yourself involuntarily smiling, but then he continues, “I don’t think I’ve ever met a girl as perverted as you, or nearly as sex-crazed. You let me do things to you I only imagined. That’s you, ready to be fucked whenever and wherever I want.” He praises, or at least that’s what you think he intended with the double edged words.

“There are some seriously fucked up girls out there, and they all would throw themselves into my bed ass first if I so much as lifted a finger in their direction, but I don’t know if they’d ever compare to you.” He caresses your cheek and looks down at you in a mock loving way, and for some reason that makes you feel a little bit sick.

Slapping his hand away, you snap. “Why don’t you break up with me and find out then?”

You don’t know why you were so upset over his words. You don’t mind dirty talk at all, in fact, you loved it. He could always make you wet with just a few words from him, but why did he have to keep bragging about other girls like a peacock brandishing his tail? You already knew all of this but so what? You could have any guy you wanted too.

Like you did earlier this night, he completely brushes over the dating part and simply shrugs, “Too much work.”

Finally, he shuts up and thrusts back into you, this time deep enough to make you choke. Normally you’d do better than that but slight interruption put you off guard, but you quickly get back into it.

You were always hyper aware of Jungkook’s dick whenever you deep throated him. You felt every little twitch it made and tasted even the slightest bit of precum that it produced so you knew just what to do to make it feel exponentially better for him. You swallowed around him when you felt it would affect him the most and used your tongue when he needed it.

Jungkook wasn’t frugal with the sounds he made, letting out moans and grunts each time you did something he particularly liked, praising you for being so good for him. “Shit, I fucking love your mouth baby.” He wraps a hand loosely around your throat, feeling the bulge inside it every time his cock slides in. “I love hearing you gag around my cock. Such a good little slut, taking it all for me.”

He never was the gentlest lover but you thought that he was going extra hard today. Each time he bottomed out, he would stay a second with his lower abdomen pressed against your nose, as if he was purposefully trying to make you lose your breath so he’d punish you more.

But you were too horny for whatever he had in mind and you were in no mood for any further strange questions from him so you set your mind to making him bow out before you did. Trailing a hand between his spread legs, you press your thumb against the area between his balls and his asshole and rubbed him there just the way you knew he liked.

The effect on him is instant, he lets out a growl and starts assaulting your mouth with his thrusts for a few seconds, the saliva that drooled down your chin making long strings between your mouth and his abdomen every time he tugged your head back, before breaking altogether when he tears himself away from you. He doesn’t give you time to regain your breath before the hand around your throat tightens drastically, preventing you from sucking in the much-needed air, “Did I tell you you can do that?”

“No,” You whimper, the tears that have been stinging your eyes for some time finally break free and start falling in streams down your cheeks. You claw at his hand but it’s no use. He was too strong for you. He wasn’t trying to kill you, he still allowed you enough air to stay alive but not enough to stop the burning in your lungs.

“Then why did you do it?”  

“I’m…sorry… sir.” You squeak out the words separately. The sentence too large to come out fully through your tight airways.

He turns around and flings you onto the bed. “Are you going to follow orders or do I have to get out the whips and shackles.”

You shudder at that. Jungkook didn’t much like using toys. He preferred to use his own body. He said it made him feel everything more intensely, but he wasn’t against using them when he really needed to, and you never want to make him need to.

“No, sir, I’ll be good, sir. Forgive me.” You use the back of your hand to wipe your mouth clean and look down demurely.

“Lie down and spread your legs.”

You follow his orders instantly, spreading your legs as far as they’ll go but apparently that wasn’t enough for him because he forcefully spreads them just a little wider, making it a little painful. A fact you know wasn’t lost on him.

The soft way he kisses your inner thighs may seem like an attempt to lessen the pain to anyone looking on but you know he was only doing it to torture you more, especially that he can definitely see and smell how aroused you were.

When he moves his lips to your pussy, things don’t get any better. He kisses and licks between your legs like it was a cone of ice cream, the objective was to capture any escaping juice and not to bring you any pleasure.

You’re left with nothing to do than to repeat your earlier pleads of sorrow, hoping he’d take pity on you and start eating you out properly, but he never does. It’s stupid of you to think that taking matters into your hand and touching your breasts to give you some sort of relief would go unnoticed because even if Jungkook had his eyes closed, he was still so acutely aware of your sounds that he noticed the difference your touches made.

You’re not given a second to process things before he’s flipped you on your stomach, quickly grabbing a scarf that was thrown haphazardly on the floor to tie your hands to the metal bars of the headboard.

“You don’t even deserve something this soft. I’d rather have your wrists in shackles that would dig red bloody lines into your skin to teach you the consequences of being such a bad girl. But that can wait for now.” He grits out.

You should have anticipated the first blow that hit your ass, and yet you didn’t. You never do. Jungkook’s hands, those large sexy hands that you love so much are the same ones now torturing you. He doesn’t hold back, fully intending to make you cry again and beg for his forgiveness.

You try to hold back, knowing that if you stop him now, the frustration he was hitting you with would only be transferred to his fucking, and you were sure your pussy couldn’t take the abuse. You’re not sure how many times he’s hit you already, alternating between hitting the same spots to intensify the pain and finding new spots to spread it.

Maybe you had braved out thirty counts, maybe your knees gave out after five, but give out they did, and you were sobbing for him to stop every time he hooked a hand under your waist and pulled your ass up to strike you again.

“I’m so sorry… I’ll never be bad again… I’ll listen to everything you tell me to do… I’ll let you fuck me in front of the whole college if you want… just please sir, my ass can’t take any more.” You sob hysterically, fully ready to follow through on every word just to make him stop but he still doesn’t.

“Jungkookie, p-please.” You say the magic word and he stops. You don’t know what is it about the simple nickname that he loves so much, but you’ve come to realize that you can use it whenever things get too intense to make him calm down, during sex or even in real life. You had a safe word, sure, but despite the pain, things weren’t yet too much for you to make you say it. You were just so turned on from the spanking and the teasing that you couldn’t take anymore.

“Should I go and leave you like this? In tears yet so horny you’d ride my thigh to get off if I told you to do it.” You blush, despite the hundred humiliating things Jungkook got you to do for him when he got you horny enough, that would still be one of the most embarrassing ones.

You’d been so turned on one day from Jungkook’s endless teasing but unfortunately for you, you were in a movie theatre watching some superhero flick with some friends from college so you couldn’t do anything about it. Or rather Jungkook didn’t want to do anything about it. Somehow through the course of the movie, you found yourself sitting on his lap, grinding yourself against his thigh to get any sort of friction when Jungkook had the bright idea that you use his thigh to get off. He assured you that it was perfectly fine and that you were seated far enough in the back and away from everyone even your friends, so no one would find out. You were too far gone to think it through enough, and you’d always found his thighs particularly sexy so you listened to him, especially after he promised you he’d let you take control that night if you did it.

Surprisingly it wasn’t hard to reach your orgasm. You had slipped your panties off, and the rough material of his jeans gave the perfect amount of friction over his steel thighs. He had talked you through it with a broken, raspy voice and words seemingly whispered to him by the devil. It was one of the best orgasms of your life, and you would have repeated the action countless times if it weren’t for what happened after the movie ended.  

You arousal had apparently left a big ass dark spot on his jeans, and when asked about it by your friends, he gave a casual reply that had you running back to your dorm in embarrassment and not showing your face to anyone for a week straight.

“Oh, that’s from ___. She couldn’t control herself so I let her use my thighs to get off.”

Everyone was stunned, except Taehyung who asked, “And did it work? Did you get off on his thighs?”

You didn’t know if he was saying that to embarrass you further or because he really wanted to know. You saw a hint of something dark in his eyes but you didn’t stick around long enough to find out what it was because you had run away after snapping back, “No, he was talking too much and I couldn’t properly focus on Tom Hiddleston and imagine it was his thigh like I was trying to do.”

That night was the origin of the persisting rumor that you two were an item. The one you constantly denied and that Jungkook kept confirming just to annoy you.

You were torn from your dark memories by the feel of Jungkook’s dick sliding back and forth along your entrance. “Are you ignoring me, baby girl? You sure you want to do that?” He threatens and your words stumble over themselves in a rush to get out of your mouth.

“No, sir, I would never! Please, please, fuck me, please. I wouldn’t be able to handle it if you left me like this. Please, sir.”

Jungkook relents, pushing all the way into you with one thrust. The bastard didn’t even prep you beforehand. Luckily, you were used to the abuse. Sometimes Jungkook would prep you extensively before fucking you, other times he did it like this. It was part of the punishment, and you’d learned to like it.

“Is there a problem, baby girl?” He feigns ignorance, noticing the tight clench you had around his dick.

You force yourself to relax, “No, sir.”

“Good.” He says and starts thrusting inside of you, thankfully increasing his pace gradually before it reaches its usual brutality. Then he gives you no reprieve.  

Why does he feel the need to fuck you so hard? You’re not some sex doll he can manhandle as he likes and if it breaks he could just get another one… or maybe you were. His thrusts against your bruised ass were powerful enough to push you forward, almost making you hit your head against the headboard if it weren’t for your palms acting as a makeshift cushion between you and the metal bars.

Oh yeah, he does it because it always leaves you a whimpering, moaning mess underneath him. “Ah, sir, is my pussy making you feel good? Am I being a good slut?”

You were kissing up to him, you knew that but you couldn’t take any more punishment. And maybe, just maybe, it turned you on as much as it did him.

“It’s fine.” He says curtly and you flush. Your pussy isn’t ‘fine’, it’s fucking great. How dare he?

You lower your chest further to make your ass become perter and give him the angle he likes, then you work your walls against him, simulating the wall they feel when you orgasm, knowing how much he loves it.

“Are you trying to cheat, baby?” He warns.

“No, sir, I’m just trying to make it up to you. I’ve been so bad today. You deserve so much better. Especially since I left you for so long with no way for you to get off while I ran off with another boy. I’ve been so selfish, haven’t I?” You coo.

Jungkook tightened his grip on your hips, hard enough to leave purple marks in the morning. “Yes, you have. Don’t do it again.”

“I won’t, sir. I just want to make you happy with me. Am I making you happy?”

“Yes, baby, yes.” Jungkook sounded close, his breath ragged and his voiced coming out deep and forced.

“So is my pussy still just ‘fine’?” He could practically hear the pout in your question, and he chuckles, “No, baby, it’s fucking perfect. Best I ever had.”

“Thank you, sir.” You sigh, finally content and feeling your orgasm rapidly approaching. But Jungkook beats you to it, and the warmth of his seed inside you almost push you off the edge if he had only continued thrusting into you just a few more times but he didn’t.

“Whyyyy?” You whine, but Jungkook ignores you and flips you onto your back again, the scarf twisting tighter around your hands, and your red ass too sore to lie down comfortably. He puts two fingers inside of you and hooks them forwards. You moan with relief, thinking he’s going to finger you but instead he uses them to scoop his cum from inside of you and move it to your lips.

“Open up. I can’t eat you out when you’re so full of my cum.”

At the mention of him eating you out, you rush to clean his fingers. Sucking them into your mouth and using your tongue to get them squeaky clean. He repeats the same action until he’s made you swallow every little bit of his cum then he finally goes down on you.

He doesn’t tease this time, alternating between pushing down on your clit with his tongue and fucking you with it. “Sir, please, won’t you make me cum? I want you to make me cum.” You cry, turned on beyond belief. The pent up arousal starting to turn painful.

Thankfully, he obliges, using his thumb to flick your clits and focusing his mouth on your entrance, his tongue fucking in and out of you and his lips sucking on the margin of your opening.

You start convulsing with your orgasm, pulling with all your might on your bindings in order to run a hand through his locks and guide him to your clit, but he already knows what you want, moving his mouth to your clit to shower it with attention and guiding you through your orgasm.

“Thank you, sir, oh god, thank you.” You slump into a boneless heap. Only stirring when Jungkook leaves and comes back with a wet towel to clean you both up and unlaces the knot around your wrists. He watches you rubbing your wrists to return the blood flow to them before he gets up and begins putting on his clothes.

“No, stay.” You whine. “Look at my wrist, and my ass,” You turn around to show him the red inflamed skin, shaking you ass up at him, “The least you could do is cuddle up with me. I feel lonely.”

“Why should I care about that?” He sneers but quickly backs down when he sees you flinch.  

He sighs and throws away the pants he was going to put on, climbing into bed and facing you, “You’re more than a handful you know.” He wraps his arms around your waist and you squeeze one of your legs between his own.

You smile, “I know.”

But that smile fades as you see a question floating around in his eyes.

“What?” You ask with a little frown on your face. What was wrong now? Today was a long day and you just wanted to curl up into him and fall asleep.

He seems taken aback at the fact that you could apparently read him so easily but he just tells what’s on his mind, not bothering to attempt to lie. “You could’ve taken me, you know? I know how to behave when I need to.”

This again? Why was he so hung up on that? Could Hwasa have been telling you the truth this whole time? “Oh, so you would have said to my mum 'Now I see where ___ gets her good looks from.’ and shared your secret recipes with her?” You raise an eyebrow at him, smirking.

“Jin did that? Damn.” He laughs, “But yes, I could do that. It’s horribly cliche and pretentious but if that’s what your mum likes…” He uses a hand to play with your hair and you try your best to not look alarmed by it, not wanting him to stop, the soft caress of his fingers as it draws little circles on your scalp making your eyes flutter. It obviously wasn’t a big deal to him, just something he did without thinking so you didn’t need to think about it too much. But then again he’s never done this before…

You half-heartedly hit him in the chest, “Asshole! Fine, next time I’ll introduce you as my loving boyfriend. I’ll say your name is Jin since Jungkook is already taken. I’ll say I saw you one day and it was love at first sight. I was so smitten with you that I had to break up with Jin aka “Jungkook” because it wasn’t fair for him to stay when I loved another man so. My mum would fall even more in love with you than I am. We won’t get married despite our parents’ constant nagging because marriage is for losers who aren’t secure enough in their love lives but that’s not us. We won’t even have kids. We’ll just spend all the money we would’ve wasted on them to travel the world and live like motherfucking stars.“

You can’t say anymore because you were laughing so hard you couldn’t breathe, your face getting dangerously red. You take multiple deep breaths until you calm down then you speak again through the  remaining quiet giggles, "Can you imagine?”

You were obviously not taking any of this seriously but it seems like Jungkook had because his hand had gone still in your hair and when you look at him, ready to whine about him stopping, you find him wearing an unreadable look, “No, I can’t. It’s fucking stupid.” His tone is sharp enough to cut. He gets off the bed, collecting his clothes again and getting dressed.

You were shell-shocked. Why the fuck did he have to be such a dick all the time? You were just joking around but he couldn’t even let you have that little bit of fun… The horrifying part is, you find yourself not caring about that and instead feeling hurt over the fact that he found what you to be so stupid that he had to leave. That the slightest show of emotion from you was so revolting to him.

None of the things you said today were wise but your next ones might just be the worst. Maybe you’d look back on your life one day and decide that you were over-reacting, that what he said wasn’t so bad to garner such a dramatic response from you and that you were costing yourself a perfectly decent fuckbuddy over nothing. Or maybe you’d look back and clap yourself on the back for saying it. Maybe Hwasa was right. If Jungkook does nothing more than annoy and apparently hurt you, then why don’t you just break it off with him? Maybe it’s time to find someone who, well, would treat you like a human with feelings for starters.

“I don’t want to be your fuck buddy anymore.”

Jungkook froze, his whole body becoming tense. “Is this because of Jin?”

“I… what?” You ask, genuinely not understanding what that had to do with anything.

“You know what? Whatever. You’re starting to get too clingy anyway.” Jungkook doesn’t even look at you as he pulls on his shirt and slams the door behind him.

He leaves you behind to be consumed by the deafening silence that does nothing to buffer the screeching confusion of thoughts inside your head. All feelings and sensations seep out of your body. You feel yourself becoming numb, barely able to breathe, your ears ringing, and the light slowly leaving your eyes.


Author’s Note: I definitely accept criticism as well so knock yourself out 


4

9.17.17 

Since my manager is in the hospital I didn’t have work today. I got up early and went to Target with my best friend, and then we spent the rest of the day studying in my apartment. We studied quietly and alone for a little while until my roommates woke up and came into the living room to do homework with us. Even though our kitchen table got pretty cluttered, it was kind of refreshing to be able to sit back and see all the productivity. 

We started planning a spring break trip to Maine and somewhere along the way we ended up sharing stories of good winters and sledding incidents from when we were younger. It was a really good day, and I was glad to have extra time to get work done. 

Last week I didn’t work out as much as I wanted to and I didn’t eat very healthy. Even though I was already down emotionally, not maintaining my health didn’t help with my mood either. This week I’m hoping to get back on track and find my balance again.  

It’s been 16 years since the tragic events of September 11, 2001, but the images of that day remain clear. Two planes were flown into the World Trade Center in New York and a third into the Pentagon in Virginia. Nearly 3,000 people lost their lives. Because of the actions of 40 passengers and crew aboard the fourth plane, Flight 93, the U.S. Capitol was saved. In New York, Virginia, Pennsylvania and across the country, people will gather today to remember the depth of our loss and the strength of our resolve. By visiting these places and hearing their stories, those who were taken will never be forgotten. Photo from Flight 93 National Memorial in Pennsylvania by Tami Heilemann, Interior.

day 365. one year. a full year has passed since bismuth’s debut and we have seen neither hair nor hide of her in those 365 days. 32 episodes. two seasons without bismuth. they brought this beautiful revolutionary into our lives, only to deem her too radical. what was the point? why toy with us this way? do we not deserve a revolution? do we not deserve a leader in our revolution?

i fear i may not live long enough to see her glorious return. i fear even deeper for a return that brings with it censorship. a bismuth toned down, a bismuth silenced is no better than a bismuth dead.

happy birthday, my sweet rainbow. you were too good for this world. far too good for the world you were conceived in. i hope youre shattering diamonds in your dreams.

Blurred Lines (Smut)

MASTERLIST

A/N: Celebrating Shawn’s birthday. Feedback is always lovely. 

Word count: 4,518

Shawn and I had been living together for a little over four months now. Since Shawn agreed to letting me crash for a week while looking for something new after being kicked out of my dorm, things we didn’t count on happened between us and suddenly, we were practically roommates and enjoyed each other’s company for hours a day. 

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