i’m just gonna be out there and say this. take it in any way you’d like to interpret it, but please at least read to the end, because i know this affects most people on here in some way.
when i was 11 years old i found tumblr.
it was especially fun for me because everything was new and fresh and i hadn’t seen anything like it and it was finally a place for me to hang out and talk about things i loved with other people who liked similar things.
i got totally, completely sucked in, and i’m just going to outright admit that i loved every little bit of it.
i met my first online friend there. his name was mike and he’s long gone, but he was everything to me and if i could go back and talk to him and change what i had done to him, i absolutely would.
he was older and cooler and he was trans and gay and 17 and he helped me figure out so many things about myself that i hadn’t known before.
we roleplayed together every single day and we were the best of friends.
everything was good for a while, in my head. i think it was more of the matter that i hadn’t thought through what was happening, i had let it completely consume me.
everything went to my head, and i started getting horrible thoughts and doing horrible things that i won’t even begin to list here, because as far as i knew, tumblr was right. everything i knew before tumblr was wrong, and my family was wrong, and my teachers were wrong. nobody understood me or what i was going through.
i got manipulative and started doing horrible things to people without realizing.
mike got sick of my bullshit really quick.
i kept making excuses and crying and guilt-tripping and eventually mike told me something i would never forget.
mike told me i needed to stay a kid, and tumblr wasn’t going to help me do that.
and i kept telling him i didn’t know what he meant, and he would just tell me to come back when i figured it out for myself.
mike was an extremely patient person and i had worn his patience thin and that said something.
it didn’t say something when i was 11 years old, but it does now.
and even if you’re staring at the screen right now, wondering what the point to my telling you all of this is, the point is that when you’re a kid and you look up to all these internet icons and you get engaged in everything they do and want to be just like them,
tumblr isn’t a good place.
because false fame goes straight to your head and corrupts you from the inside.
and even as someone 5 years older with a completely different set of interests and new labels and new knowledge, i can tell you right now that it’s still getting to me now, just like it did when i was younger, and it’s not even an age thing.
tumblr’s mindsets just aren’t good for people in general.
i’ve gone through so many usernames, so many deactivated blogs, so many sets of pronouns and labels and names, and i’m telling you right now.
as someone who’s gone through so many friends–who’ve all resembled mike in more ways than one–tumblr’s way of thinking isn’t good for kids.
something needs to change.