i’ve never known how to respond to people when they ask me if i’m okay or if something’s wrong.
i could sit there and try to explain to them how my heart is cracking every second i’m away from him. i could tell them that the emotional pain manifested into a physical one. i could sit for hours and tell them that he was the best thing to ever happen to me and that i was too selfish and took him for granted. i’d go on to tell them that there were nights i’d stay awake looking at all the pictures and crazy videos we would take. and our car rides, boy could i talk for days about our car rides, with one hand on the wheel and the other holding me close as he sang along to his favorite songs, to our songs. i could tell them about how i was missing a part of me without him here and it was all my fault. but what good would that do?
so when people ask me if i’m okay, i say ‘of course and how are you?’ and when they ask if something is wrong, i just say ‘no, i’m just a little tired.