these two need to make babies

5

consider, if you will: platonic rest-of-our-very-long-life partners magnus and lucretia

cocked & loaded [dwayne johnson/vin diesel]

okay, so if i were to write the academy award-winning and world peace-establishing screenplay where Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson and Vin Diesel slowly fall in love, this is what it would look like:

  • vin and dwayne would be bitter Rival Agents for an intelligence agency. both would be up for a Big Promotion.  they would both be working together (but against each other) on something something black market mafia.  the mafia would be involved.  they would be VERY CLOSE to cracking this case.  
  • whoever cracks the case gets the promotion! because things like this are always very clear-cut in movies.  and whoever gets the promotion is the Better Agent, and it’s settled forever.
  • what they don’t expect is when they finally go in to make the Big Bust on The Family is that the Big Players will still be at large–and there will be a BABY.  
  • the baby will fall into agency custody, and will require surveillance in a remote safehouse.
  • “i need YOU TWO to pretend and be this baby’s GAY DADS to protect the baby and keep The Family off our tail while we close in on them,” says Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o.  
  • dwayne and vin and baby are begrudgingly moved to a suburb of provincetown, massachusetts. cut to shot of a FOR SALE sign being pulled down, a ford fusion hybrid pulling up behind a moving van.  dwayne and vin step out.  they are both wearing muscle shirts and mirror-lensed aviators.  dwayne grabs a baby bag, throws it over his shoulder.  vin grabs the car seat out of the back, and both of them walk-slow motion up the side walk to their new 800k beach house.  
  • here’s what they expect: passive aggressive co-existence for a couple of weeks, where they try to be the Better Dad in a bid for the promotion they both want.  dwayne will go jogging with the baby every morning!! vin will wear her in a sling when he goes to the farmer’s market and smiles at the vendors while feeling up avocados and selecting fresh caught filets of fish!! 
  • here’s what they don’t expect: their next door neighbors are going to be Channing Tatum and Idris Elba and their five beautiful, interracial babies.  they are the perfect Gay Family, but “also,” dwayne says, pushing vin inside from where he’s been grilling steaks and drinking MILLER out of a CAN in broad daylight for the Real Gay Family to see and call over from their patio!!! “these guys are the REAL DEAL.  they’re gonna know something’s up!  i know we’ve had our beef, but we gotta step our game up and work together if we’re gonna make this operation work.”  
  • “you’re right,” vin says.  he’s nodding, looking at a ground, but then up and meeting dwayne’s gaze. “you’re RIGHT.” they’re gonna make this partnership work!!! they are going to be the BEST GAY DADS.
    • CUT TO: vin and dwayne staring at the king sized mattress in the master bedroom.  “i can just–” vin says, but dwayne grabs him by the shoulder and shakes it playfully.  “no man,” he says. “it’s all in or nothing.” 
    • CUT TO: them jogging together with baby playfully squealing from her stroller early in the morning.  
    • CUT TO: vin playfully feeding dwayne grapes at the farmer’s market.  “it’s all or nothing,” he repeats, raising his eyebrows (???? eyebrow folds? idk man). dwayne rolls his eyes and TAKES THE BITE.  
  • CUT TO: channing tatum in monogrammed shorts and pink polo and boat shoes on their front door step with one of his many perfect, precious toddlers on his shoulders, asking them to dinner.  “uh yeah,” dwayne says, cool as a cucumber. he’s not freaking out (he’s totally freaking out!!).  “we’ll bring the wine.”
  • “we’ll bring the wine?” vin repeats, in a hushed voice so the neighbors and baby don’t hear them fighting. “do you know anything about wine? they probably have a second house in france!  i haven’t had anything that didn’t come from a box since–since ever! what were you thinking?” “i panicked!  it seemed like the right thing to say!” 
    • TIRES SCREECH as the ford focus hybrid drifts into the whole foods parking lot.  
  • they show up out of breath, foreheads glistening, with baby in her favorite babybjorn, feet kicking from the day’s excitement of wine shopping.  vin, wheezing, passes a bottle of red and a bottle of white.
    • “oh, a chateau coutet barsac,” idris says with a chuckle, showing the label to channing. “remember that time–?” and oh my GOD, they have inside jokes!! 
    • (”we don’t have any inside jokes!!” dwayne whispers when they immediately excuse themselves halfway through a tour of the house. “that’s because you are the least funny person i know!” vin replies. “god, i hate you!!!” they both probably hiss at each other.)
  • the worst and best part of the night is when they’re serving the roast veg salad, and channing says with the best intentions, “so, how did you two meet?”
    • “uh,” vin says.
    • “the gym,” dwayne says. which, actually turns out to be true.  they look at each other, smile soft and genuine for once at each other, REMEMBERING. before they were BITTER RIVALS, they met at the academy gym and were GYM BUDDIES.  they used to have FUN trying to beat each other’s PR on the treadmill, they used to LOVE shit talking each other when they spotted each other bench pressing, they used to snap towels at each other’s asses in the locker room and totally not check each other out or anything!!! and then they were both accepted to the same position at work and they stopped being friendly for whatever reason.  they stop smiling, they look away from each other.  “anyway.”
    • “we met building houses for habitat for humanity,” idris offers, because of COURSE THEY DID.
  • the second worst part of the night is when channing mentions during the dessert course that two weeks from now is the annual May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, and maybe dwayne and vin would like to host to get to know everyone else in the neighborhood! 
  • vin has had like, three more glasses of wine than everyone else, and with aid of liquid confidence, shrugs his shoulders and leans back in his chair and says, “yeah, man, we’d love to.”
    • “’yeah, man, we’d love to?’” dwayne repeats when they’re walking home, baby asleep in her bjorn. 
    • “sorry, did you want me to give ourselves away? what happened to being the best? we’re trying to be believable!” 
    • “yeah,” dwayne says, watching vin strip off his shirt and pants and toss them over his shoulder into their spare hamper before crawling into their bed.  it’s routine.  they both have their sides of the bed.  “believable.”
    • the bedroom is quiet as they face away from each other at the edges of the mattress.  eventually dwayne asks, “do you remember why we stopped being friends?”
    • for a second he thinks maybe vin’s gone to sleep.  but he turns over.  “no,” he says.  “or yeah, maybe. as soon as i realized we would both be seeing action, it became too much of a risk.  friendship.  it was easier to lose you as a friend on my terms than lose you as a friend because you got your dumbass killed.”
    • they decide to be friends again.  you know, for the baby.  for work. whatever.  
  • they get so caught up in planning the May Day Homeowner’s Neighborhood Block Party Crab Cookoff, making inside jokes and ignoring the increasing casual physical intimacy between them that they don’t realize they are BEING WATCHED.
  • the mafia is HERE and they want their BABY and they want dwayne and vin DEAD.  
  • the M.D.H.N.B.P.C.C happens and everything is going according to plan, and they are about to have dwayne judge the bisque portion of the competition, but no one has seen dwayne anywhere!!!!
  • are there warehouses in provincetown??? is there a bad part of provincetown??? anyways, that’s probably where the mafia took dwayne.  vin is FREAKING OUT, how does he save dwayne??? how does he protect the baby, who they are using dwayne as ransom for??? who will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookoff???
  • idris puts a hand on his shoulder.  he’s been watching the entire time.  “i’ll take the baby into our panic room–” OF COURSE THEY HAVE A PANIC ROOM, “and channing will judge the bisque portion of the crab cookofff.  you go save your man.”
  • CUT TO: vin getting geared up to go out and kick some mafia ass, entering their walk-in closet and grabbing GUNS and a BULLET PROOF VEST and lacing up his L.L BEAN MEN’S GORETEX LEATHER BOOTS.  
  • vin takes out the entire warehouse-or-whatever of mafia lackeys and comes across dwayne tied up and blindfolded.
  • “who’s there!” dwayne demands, like he’s ready to fight despite himself.  vin takes three strong steps forward and grabs him by the back of the head and pulls him in for a kiss.  “guess who,” he replies.  dwayne smiles.
  • just then the Final Boss shows up as dwayne is being untied and like, something dramatic happens or whatever, but it’s okay.  they die or go to jail or something, it doesn’t really matter, because dwayne and vin are in LOVE and they’re gonna adopt the hell out of that baby.
  • CUT TO: a month later.  Head Intelligence Captain Lupita Nyong’o is disappointed when vin won’t accept his promotion.  
  • “i would,” he says, heavily decorated for saving dwayne in the field and taking down the mafia family.  “but the code of conduct says that it would be a conflict of interest if i was my husband’s supervisor.” BAM! THE END.  THEY’RE MARRIED.  WORLD PEACE UNLOCKED.   DONALD TRUMP IMPEACHED.  EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

i’m gonna take a minute to be that angry rude gay all the cishet fanfic writers hate and just come right out and say this – the majority of your portrayals of homophobia are disgusting and disrespectful. a homophobic family/job/school/etc is NOT a plot device to get two sexy gay men to have sexy gay sex, and it sure as hell isn’t an excuse to have one character baby another and take care of them uwuuu or whatever you freaks get off on. homophobia (especially internalized homophobia) shouldn’t be leading to sex in your stories, and if you’re using it as a way to make two character hook up and everything is perfect and wonderful once they fuck, you need to take a step back and actually figure out what homophobia is.

Zodiac Signs in Love
  • Aries: either is very showy about loving you or doesn't show it at all even though they mean to
  • Taurus: shows people they love you in a casual way, doesn't push it in the world's face and is kinda chill/low-key
  • Gemini: facebook posts all the time. will joke around with you a lot, and not realize their own feelings for a long time. thinks they're tough but they're really not
  • Cancer: very, very cute about it. shows through little gestures and comments. very subtle but nice
  • Leo: usually will tell you a lot. very clingy and touchy. wants to be tough, but never really acts like it.
  • Virgo: doesn't show it at first, but will talk to you more than they talk to others. will joke and generally feel more comfy with you. will be a little more weird and themselves with you
  • Libra: very low-key about it. lovey in private and a little more goofy around you.
  • Scorpio: always intense. they can be playful until they really love you (includes platonic love)
  • Sagittarius: omgggggg more fb posts than a gemini. everyone will know you two are dating or besties they make sure. easily jealous (!!)
  • Capricorn: very chill about their love to you, but they show it well by remembering a lot about you and telling everyone about you
  • Aquarius: jealous babies who need so much attention, but they also shower in compliments and love constantly. they don't love easily or make relationships often so it's special for them
  • Pisces: they require a lot of attention, but they give it right back similar to an Aquarius. a bit wishy washy at times and rocky but a great soft, lovable cutie
bts scenario: dirty talking

thank you for your request! i hope you like it! xx (sorry if it isn’t as detailed as you would have liked, i have exams this week so i’m pretty busy!)

requests: open

commissions/donations

++++

jin: jin would press kisses on any and every part of your body he could reach. “does that feel good baby?” he would say as he slipped his fingers inside of you, “you like the feeling of my fingers in your pussy huh? so wet for me…” you’d moan loudly at the feeling and the sound of his words. “i’m gonna make you feel so good baby, fuck you so hard the only thing you’ll be screaming is my name.”

Originally posted by blackandwhitebangtan

yoongi: yoongi had been gone for a little over a month, and you had been missing him in more ways than one. that night when yoongi called you, you moaned into the phone at the sound of his voice. “ah? you miss me don’t you~” he teased to which you just moaned as you continued to touch yourself. “keep touching yourself babygirl, i can hear how wet you are for me, i want you to come with your fingers and pretend they are mine.”

Originally posted by minyoongiaesthetic

hoseok: hoseok would be pounding into you at a fast pace and you would be choking on your moans, and begging for more. “you like that baby? you like the feeling of my thick, hard cock deep inside of you? making you feel so full?” your hands clutched the sheets below you in response to his words, “yes~ please,” you begged for more. “good girl, begging for daddy’s cock.”

Originally posted by vexedmikxyla

namjoon: “beg for me babygirl, beg for my cock,” namjoon would say as he was leaning over you, teasing your entrance with the head of his cock. “please, daddy, make me cum, i need your cock,” pleased at your words, namjoon would slam into you and start thrusting at a fast pace. “how many times do you think you can cum for me today, princess, two? three?” 

Originally posted by blackandwhitebangtan

jimin: jimin’s head was between your legs, eating you out like a full course meal. you moaned over and over as your eyes rolled into the back of your head from the pleasure you were feeling. “you’re dripping for me baby, so wet,” jimin said as he continued his ministrations, “taste so good, so sweet, cum on my face yeah? then i can fuck you so good baby.”

Originally posted by kpopidolaegyooo

taehyung: it was minutes before taehyung had to go on stage for a concert, and he needed to get off. he pushed you against the nearest wall before ripping of your shorts and panties, you made no move to stop him. “i’m so hard for you baby, gotta fuck the shit out of you before i go on stage yeah? i wanna think about my cum being inside you as i dance around that stage, thinking about round two for tonight.” 

Originally posted by tonight-we-are-fantastic-baby

jungkook: “that’s a good girl, suck my cock. god you’re so good baby, so good for me,” the noises that your mouth made around his cock only made his orgasm that much closer. you pushed his length as far down your throat as it could go, making you gag slightly. “fuck baby, make me cum, i wanna coat your pretty lips in my cum, so pretty.” 

Originally posted by would-you-buy-me-pizza

OTP Drabble Challenge!

Rules: Followers send a number to your ask, along with a pairing, and you write a drabble using that dialogue in your piece! Try to keep up! Expect a TON of requests!

  1. “The doctor said it’s normal” - “Well that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”
  2. “Baby, you’re not a bother.” - “I’m too needy, you don’t deserve it.”
  3. “Come with me to the other room.” - “We’re not going to talk about this now.”
  4. “Did you just hiss at me?” - “Are you judging me?”
  5. “Don’t yell at me like I’m a child!!” - “DON’T THROW SCISSORS!”
  6. “Here, take me blanket/jacket.” - “I told you, I’m not cold.” *shivering*
  7. “Did you hear that?” - “I’m telling you, I’m haunted.”
  8. “I just wanted an easy day with my boyfriend/girlfriend. Is that too much to ask?”
  9. “Why are you awake right now?”
  10. “Come over here and make me.”
  11. “I want my best friend back.” - “Kevin is over there.”
  12. “H-how long have you been standing there?” - “Long enough.”
  13. “You’re lying, you’re blushing.” - “Shut up, no I’m not!”
  14. “No, I’m not talking to you.”
  15. “No more!” - “Okay, fine, I won’t send you any more selfies.”
  16. “What do you have?” - “Pizza rolls and Cup O’ Noodles…that’s about it. Popcorn?”
  17. “The salad here is really good.” - “Do I look like a fucking rabbit?”
  18. “Open this.” - “Can you say please?”
  19. “I just came to say goodbye…” - “Bullshit, you just feel bad.”
  20. “You’re on level 176.” - “Can you judge me harder?”
  21. “Jinx, you owe me a coke.” - *can’t speak until they buy a soda*
  22. “Please don’t leave me.” - “I don’t want to go”
  23. “Babe, I’m sorry.” - “Suck my ass.”
  24. “Liar, liar, pants on fire!” - “Seriously, you’re worse than a kid.”
  25. “You can’t ride a bike?” - “Why are we whispering?”
  26. “Is it that time of the month?” - “You literally ask me that whenever I’m mad at you!”
  27. “We’re going downtown.” - “There’s a strip club downtown.”
  28. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” - “Well, you shouldn’t be saying it then.”
  29. “It’s not mine, I swear.” - “How is it not fucking yours!”
  30. “Take it off.” - “Like a bandaid?”
  31. “I told you…” - “Yeah, yeah, yeah, quit nagging.”
  32. “Boo?” - “You’re my boo.”
  33. “Don’t you ever do that again! You scared the shit out of me!”
  34. “You broke what?!?” - “Don’t worry, I’m okay.”
  35. “Why’re you dressed like that?” - “Does that mean it looks good or should I change?”
  36. “Fine, just do what you have to do.” - “Can you stop being so freaking cute so I can concentrate?”
  37. “…then I picked up your coffee by mistake.” - “All I want is an apology.”
  38. “Well, this is awkward.” - “Don’t touch me.”
  39. “You can’t make me.” - “What are you? Five?”
  40. “You’re a blanket hog!” - “Leave me alone and stop being so selfish.”
  41. “It’s not fair that you’re hot and funny.” - “Look who’s talking…just kidding, your jokes suck.”
  42. “I hate you.” - “No, you don’t.”
  43. “Should I be worried?” - “Is the grass green?”
  44. “You’re kidding me?!” - “Shush, my mom never taught me.”
  45. “I’m your lock screen?!” - “You weren’t supposed to see that.”
  46. “Will you go with me?” - “As long as you hold my hand.”
  47. “Baby, I’m scared.” - “You don’t have to be; not as long as I’m here.”
  48. “Come inside, I’m sorry.” - “Not until you apologize.” - “I just said I’m freaking sorry.”
  49. “Your voice is sexy.” - “Your ass is sexy.”
  50. “If I asked, you’d say no.” - “You don’t know that.”
  51. “Seriously, the chimney?” - “The squirrel can’t win!”
  52. “32?” - “I’ll prove it!”
  53. “It’s just so little and adorable.” - “That’s what she said.”
  54. “You’re not mature enough to be a parent.” - “Try me.”
  55. “Take a chance.” - “Umm…let me think…no.”
  56. “Game’s over, you son of a bitch!!” - “Okay, just don’t hit me.”
  57. “You forgot about my birthday!” - “In my defense, I forget about a lot of things.”
  58. “You need more stamina.” - “No, I need more steak and eggs. So…get on it.”
  59. “Can you dance with me?” - “You’re not mad?”
  60. “I’ll smash it, I swear.” - “You smash it and we’re done.”
  61. “Move!” - “Why would I move if I’m so comfy where I am?”
  62. “I’m not going in.” - “Then we’re not going to get a treat after.”
  63. “I really would’ve liked it if you told me your parents were coming to town.” - “I really would’ve liked it if you put underwear on before coming into the kitchen.”
  64. “I found it in the recycling bin.” - “Well, you’re the one killing the environment, so who’s really in the wrong here?”
  65. “We bet, and you lost.” - “But tattoos are permanent.”
  66. “Can you quit being so sassy?” - “Can you quit being so controlling?”
  67. “Are you getting jealous?” - “You’re changing your outfit, now!”
  68. “What time is it there?” - “We’re in the same time-zone.”
  69. “Quit flirting.” - “I didn’t mean to-”
  70. “I just don’t know what happened.” - “You’re too good for them.”
  71. “You have a cute nose, don’t make me break it.”
  72. “Tell me what I can do to help.” - “Sing me to sleep.”
  73. “You still need your baby blanket?”
  74. “Did you black out?” - “I feel like I’m gonna puke.”
  75. “Let’s just bury the hatchet.” - “Fuck your hatchet.”
  76. “I bet it’s a boy.” - “I bet it’s a turtle.”
  77. “Spare change?” - “You can’t be responsible, you don’t get your wallet.”
  78. “Cuddle or leave.” - “So is that a no to supper?”
  79. “Are you high?” - “I’m just so fucking tired.”
  80. “Why did I marry you?” - “It took a lot of convincing.”
  81. “Who’s texting you?” - “Umm. nobody.”
  82. “You have two choices.” - “Neither of which I like…”
  83. “I want a dog.” - “I want a cat.”
  84. “Chinese food?” - “Do we even know what that’s made of?”
  85. “These sheets are stained.” - “That’s disgusting.”
  86. “You don’t know how to change a tire?” - “Give it a rest, would you?”
  87. “That’s my ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.” - “Well, kiss me so they see.”
  88. “We got lucky. You’re not gonna do that again, right?”
  89. “Hey, babe, look what I found.” - “GET THAT OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW!!!”
  90. “You’ve been replaced.” - “Alright, we’ll see how you feel when you need me to kill a spider in the shower.”
  91. “Are those slippers?” - “Is that you being mean? AGAIN?”
  92. “You forgot your book.” - “No, I lost my book!”
  93. “You’re weird.” - “Or you’re just basic.”
  94. “We need a vacation.” - “You read my mind too much, it scares me.”
  95. “Why’d you hug him? You love him?”
  96. “Sorry.” - “Good choice.”
  97. “Luck? Nope. Skills.” - “If it’s skill then do it again.”
  98. “Why can’t you just believe me?” - “Because you lied about it before.”
  99. “This bath is too damn hot.” - “This is why we can’t do cute things. You complain too much.”
  100. *Make up your own*

Visit @prompt-bank for more prompts!!

2

I don’t know why you’d want it but here you go, my very boring self for you 

(ノ´ ᵕ `)ノ*:・゚✧

tony stark, a certified baby-cuddler

everyone needs more tony and babies in their life, right? have a fic. because tony canonically goes to hospitals and hugs babies who need it. (for mobile users, there’s a read-more after a few paragraphs)


Tony Stark isn’t new to kids, not exactly.

He’s always tried to visit paediatric wards when he had a moment, letting the kids play with the armours and telling them stories. He helped Reed and Sue with babysitting, and he remembers Val’s first attempts at building microprocessors. He held a newborn Danielle Cage in his arms and he marvelled at how tiny she was. He’s always glad to help his baby Avengers with homework.

He likes kids. He might never have his own, and he tells himself he’s made his peace with that, but he likes kids and he likes spending time with them, from babies and toddlers to I’m-not-a-kid-anymore teenagers.

And the moments he spends with kids never get any less special.

Keep reading

When Baby is on her Period

-she might be more little or less little than normal. Listen to your babies cues and hints. If she is feeling little, treat her little. If she is feeling big, treat her big. Don’t try and coax her into feeling big or little, just let her be where she needs to be. 

-She might be in a limbo stage. Not big or little. Give as many choices as possible, cup or sippy for example. But don’t force her to choose. If she cant choose, get her both. That way one minute she can be big, and the next little. This is helpful because just like mood swings are prevalent during this time, switching between big and little also happens, at least to me.  

-be understanding, give punishments less frequently and less harshly. Try to remember that she is probably in pain and is just trying to express it. If you would normally give spankings for doing something, try lines, or corner time, and if you do give punishments during this time, after care is so important! She is probably very emotional and vulnerable right now and need reassurance. 

-Get her some medicine and a cup of water or juice to help her get it down. Your baby is probably in pain and medicine helps so much. Basically the only time I ever take pain killers in during this week.  

-If baby wants cuddles, she should get them. If she wants to be left alone, leave her be for a bit. 

-LOTS of liquids. If your baby wants a special drink, try and get it for her, unless its alcohol. If you normal don’t let her have soda, consider it once or twice during this week. She is losing LOTS of fluid, and it needs to be replenished. Water and juice are the best, but any drink gets some liquid back in her system, except for alcohol. I always like to have like three cups at all times during this week. Three different drinks in three types of cups.  Maybe a cup of coffee, a bottle of juice, and a sippy of water. This way I can have lots of choices.

-Try to remind her to change her pad or tampon. I know this may be awkward for some, but if she is feeling extra little it might be hard for her to remember. Try to give reminders every two hours to be safe. 

-snacks and meals. Similar to drinks, try to be lenient.  She still should be eating healthy, but if she has a craving, try to get it. If she wants mac and cheese, try and make some, but also make her favorite veggie. She might not want it, but it will help if you get it ready. If she is not hungry, I never want to eat during this week, encourage her by making some of her favorite foods and snacks and give her the choices. Don’t force her to eat, but if you keep her favorite foods around and ready, it will help her find the will to eat. 

-Your baby might be more tired than usual, encourage naps and rest time. 

-Set up a bathie or shower for her. Warm baths are the best, but if that isn’t an option, get her a warm shower towel and help her get in. Getting the energy to get up and actually take a bath or shower is hard, but it helps so much! She will feel much better during and after. 

-If you can’t be with her, like if you need to go to work, send as many cute messages as you can. It makes us feel really special and loved. 

-If she needs to go to work, remind her that it’s very important. If she needs to take a sick day, that’s fine, but encourage her to only do it once. Usually for me its the first 24 hours that’s the worst.

-Set up her favorite show or movie and lay her down. If you have a TV in the bedroom, her bed is probably the best place. Lots of pillows and blankets, so she can sit or lay. I always get cold, and then hot, so try to have a fan and blankets so she can switch back and forth. Ask if she want to watch a big show, or a little show, but again don’t force her to pick. If she can’t make a choice try a teen movie or show, something she might like to watch no matter what she is feeling, or if you have a special show you two like to watch together do that. 

-Ask your baby if she needs anything. Try to be helpful in any way you can. 

-Remember that even if your baby is fussy she still loves you and really appreciates all the things you do to help her. Emotions always run high during this week. She might be really sad, really happy, really mad. It might switch every few minutes. Keep a level head. If you get emotional, it won’t help. 

-remind her constantly she is beautiful, cute, sexy, loved. She might be feeling really self conscious, bloated, or just ugly in general. -Never ever blame a littles behavior or emotions on her period, even if you know that’s why. Yes, we are more emotional or likely to act out, but NEVER say “are you acting out/being bratty because of your period?” Our feelings are still valid and very real.
Things Harry Styles Does In Bed (smut/ish)
  1. “Wakes you up with neck kisses while he murmurs “Wake up baby, c’mon baby, there you go” as his hands travel straight to your breasts and squeezes gently till you’re more awake
  2. Drags his fingers gently over your whole body until you’re completely covered in goose bumps 
  3. Absolutely loves how shy you get when his mouth gets filthy when you’re least expecting it. “Put the book down love, I wanna eat that sweet pussy for breakfast”. You’d go red. And he’d love it. 
  4. Will lie on his side next to you while you’re on your stomach watching Netflix, and his hands will randomly start massaging your thighs. “Harry” you’d warn. “Mmm” is all he’d mumble with a small smile. “I need to get through one episode of FRIENDS with out us having sex before the episode’s up, it’s 20 minutes” you would tell him. “That’s too long darling” he’d whine. “Think of how many times I could make you scream with 20 minutes” 
  5. “With me you always come twice, at least twice” 
  6. Was so gentle and loving the first time you slept together. Constantly asked if you were okay. Refused to fuck you until you came. 
  7. Was so completely on board with your praise kink. “Baby, you’re always so good for me. My good girl” 
  8. Spanks you whenever you do something he doesn’t like. Like the one time you smiled and laughed at that idiot’s joke at your office party, because the idiot was your boss. “Count them for me baby, 6 more left” he’d say soothing the sting before his hand would come down again.
  9. Would demand that you open your legs for him after he’s teased you all day long, knowing how wet you’d be for him. 
  10. “This? It belongs to me” he’d growl, stroking up and down your heat before plunging his fingers into you. 
  11. So. Much. Over-stimulation.
  12. Speaking of over stimulation, would just drag you back to your place when you’d move away, far too sensitive. You’d be whimpering and begging him to stop, but he’d keep on going. 
  13. “Now baby, since you were naughty and didn’t ask permission to come, you get two options. Shall I edge you till you beg me to let you come or make you come until you’re begging me to stop?”
  14. Pins your hands over your head when you’ve misbehaved, but he doesn’t have it in him to spank you or to deny you an orgasm. He knows how much you love to touch him during sex. 
  15.  “Don’t you dare hide your face, I wanna see you when you come” 
  16. Wouldn’t let you out of bed post sex. “Oh no, you’re staying right here baby” he’d growl playfully. “Harry” you’d giggle “I need to do things today”. “Yes. you need to do me, over and over again” 
  17. Cuddles because he was rough with you the night before. 
  18. He’s big on aftercare, let’s be serious, he’s a sweetheart. 
  19. Would kiss every inch of your body while you came down from however many orgasms he’d fucked into you that night. 
  20. “God, you ride me so good. So good f’me” he’d groan whenever you were on top
  21. Made you come 6 times in one night. The 6th was the best. He’d whipped out a curvy toy, astounding you, pushed the toy into your overly sensitive core and sucked on your clit until you were screaming. And that, was how you experienced your first ever squirt. 
  22. Worshiped you on the occasions where you surprised him in lingerie. “Get over here, your boyfriend’s got some work to do” 
  23. Would always be trying new positions with you. 
  24. The one time you faked an orgasm because you were both tipsy and you knew it wasn’t gonna happen, he got so upset until you told him he was the best you’d ever had. He made up for it. All. Damn. Night. 
  25. “Did I ever tell you I really, really like having sex with you?” 
Nessian’s Kids Headcanons

I know this is unexpected from me because I was vehemently against any pregnancies/baby faes for any of the ships in ACOWAR but I am okay with them having kids waaaaay way down the line. Anyway, I don’t remember how this happened but Sarah @nessiansmut and I came up with a few headcanons of Azriel and Elain babysitting Nessian’s kids so here we go:

  • The inner circle would do the ‘not it’ thing whenever nessian need a babysitter. no one would be able to keep those kids in line
  • Elain would volunteer as a last resort 'how bad can it be?’
  • Azriel agrees to help because Elain convinces him he could probably help keep the kids entertained with his shadows
  • one hour in they’re missing one child, one’s running around naked and another’s pulling at Azriel’s wings trying to get him to spread them wide so they can see them
  • just imagine loud curly headed children running around everywhere
  • even azriel’s shadows wouldn’t be a match for them. Elain would be frantically screaming at him to find the missing kid and he’d just be like 'I’VE GOT NOTHING! IT’S LIKED THEY DROPPED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!’
  • I thought fae children were supposed to be rare where do they keep coming from????
    From your damn sister who apparently spends all her time “training” doing something else entirely
    Someone needs to stop them before they make a small army
  • The naked kid is pulling out all these random weapons and Elain is just horrified. “Do they not baby proof?!?” (Cass would be offended to hear that: 'that is baby proof! the blade’s shorter than 20cm!’ )
  • Azriel would be begging and pleading for Rhys to use his daemati power to convince the kids to calm down “But you’re High Lord surely you can get them to stop moving.”
  • one of the kids would be grinning really wide but his teeth have a blue glow and Az sees and he’s like 'Spit out the Syphon! Geez, how and when did you even get that?’ (SOMEONE PLEASE DRAW THIS)
  • a completely dishevelled Elain would be furiously whispering to Az “Just knock them out! Not too hard. Nobody has to know. It’s the only way to get them to sleep and we can get a break. Please”
  • Azriel trying to change diapers having to use his shadows to stop the kid from squirming around
  • 'AZ I CAN’T FLY YOU NEED TO GET HER DOWN FROM THE ROOF ASAP' 
  • one of the babies is that type of kid who just doesn’t stop asking questions. “Are your wings bigger than daddy’s? Do you sleep upside down like a bat? Why are yours blue?”
  • the only reason nessian needed a babysitter was to go to the cabin in the illyrian mountains and have sex for a few hours.  
  • Nesta: I have a meeting with the humans. Emissary business he’s coming for protection.
    Elain: *mutters under breath* the only protection he needs to provide is of the contraceptive kind
    Azriel: emissary business my ass.
  • imagine Az with a baby hanging onto his back for dear life and nibbling at his wing while he’s trying to find his pacifier “Elain it bit me” “Azriel they have names…" 
  • "PLEASE STOP CHEWING AT MY WINGS DEAR GOD ELAIN THEIR BABIES ARE CANNIBALS”
  • “I fought Hybern. Twice. I survived my brothers. This this is too much.“
  • They find a 4th kid just sitting in the kitchen completely still. they’d look outside into the living room muttering "1…2…3…” they turn and look into the kitchen “4?…” “I thought they only had 3.” “So did I.”
  • after they realise that two of them are twins Elain would be running around yelling 'WHO ARE YOU?! WHERE’S THE SECOND YOU?!’
  • Nesta then lets them know that they won’t make it home in time and they need them to babysit the kids overnight  “What do you mean you’re running late and watch them for 3 hours is now over night? What do we feed them? Do they sleep?” 
  • eventually Nesta and Cass would come back and Az would be passed out on the couch with a baby cradled in the crook of his wing on the floor, the baby’s nappy not even secured properly. Elain would be sleeping upstairs with her head on the toilet seat with two more kids sleeping in a nest of blankets in the bathtub and the fourth kid would be in the kitchen stuffing his face with marshmallows and grinning at them when they come home
  • They wouldn’t even blink, though. Cass would just pick the kid up when he makes grabby hands at him and goes 'DADA!’ and he’d be like 'Heeeey buddy… did you give auntie Elain and uncle Az a hard time?’ and the kid would nod and he’d be like 'good job!’ and fist bump his little fist. Nesta would go upstairs to wake Elain up and thank her
  • Elain would wake up and the first thing she says is  “I swear to god, Nesta if you have any more kids not even your death powers will save you from my rage” or “I’d rather be thrown in the cauldron again than babysit these monsters again.”

BONUS Headcanons:

  • Nesta and Cassian have 4 kids: the oldest is a girl, the twins and the youngest are boys
  • They name the girl after Cassian’s mother
  • the twin who always disappears has Nesta’s personality and he always just hides somewhere and reads
Fuck you Holland

Series: Tom Holland Imagines

Relationship: Tom Holland x Reader

Request by: @iamaquackson  Summarized:Tom and the Reader get into a fight and then… HOT MAKEUP SEX.

Warnings: SMUTTTT, Swearing cause it’s the best and Tom does IRL :,) DID I MENTION SMUT? SO IF YOU’RE BOTHERED PLS DON’T BOTHER READING.

Word Count: HELLA LONG 2,500 + Felt in a descriptive mood in the beginning x)

A/N: I reached 1.7k today OMG THANKS FAM FOR ALL THE LOVE & SUPPORT


[Reader’s POV]


   Tonight you were going out to a club with Tom and Harrison. You couldn’t wait for a drink, it’d been a long day and you needed it. Tom had an interview and wanted to go out to drink. Harrison was with him today and it was always fun with the both of them.


   You were currently getting ready for tonight looking through your closet. Sliding the hangers to the side as you looked at some of Tom’s favorite things he liked you to wear. You were getting laid tonight after not seeing him for two weeks. It was going to happen, you needed it.

     The dress you picked was a black short dress that fit you perfectly. You called it the holy grail dress cause Tom’s hands are all over you whenever you wear it. Slipping it on you look at yourself in the mirror.  Turning around to see it hugging your ass , a grin on your face at the sight. Reaching for your heels you set them on the floor.  Bending over you pick up the heel that tipped over.


“Fucking hell, you’re wearing the dress” Tom’s voice comes from behind you making you look. His gaze is glued to your barely covered ass.


“Yeah I am, now lets go and have fun” you smile slipping on your heels and walking out of the closet. Tom quickly following behind you smacking your ass hard. A yelp leaves your lips as you see your boyfriend run towards the front door.


“Bitch!” you shout at him rubbing the stinging feeling away.


“Jerk!” He sticks his tongue out at you before opening the door.


-


    The music vibrated to your bones as you danced along to the music. Your feet were aching but you were not taking these expensive heels off. A smile on your face as you danced with Tom. His hands slid down your body from starting at your breasts down to your hips. You could feel how hard he was as you were grinding against him.


    Your back was against firm chest as your hips swayed to the beat. Harrison was in the corner making out with some random red haired girl. A few people recognized Tom but haven’t bothered him. Women stared at him like he was a piece of meat. Turning around in his arms you pull his shirt. Crashing your lips against his in a needy kiss. His hand caresses your face as his other grips your ass tightly.


    A small moan leaves your lips as he lifts your leg to wrap around his waist. You could feel your heartbeat pounding in your chest. Tom bites your lower lip tugging it a bit. Tangling your fingers in his curls pulling them a bit. Tom lets your leg go once Harrison walks over with the red haired girl. 


    You were left panting in Tom’s arms as him and Harrison yelled at each other to hear each other. Giving up of trying to hear each other the four of you walk back over to the seating area. The red haired girl holding onto Harrison, her eyes practically eye fucking him. Your lips were red and tingly from the intense makeout session with Tom.


“Mate, we’re going to head out.. see you for our workout sesh tomorrow” Harrison hugs Tom before walking away with the girl.


“I n-need a drink, I’ll be back baby” you kiss Tom on lips before walking away from him. You head over to the bar pushing through the crowd of people. Making your way to the bar you grab a bartenders attention. Holding onto the bar for support due to your feet aching. 


“What can I get you,it’s on the house” He grins looking down at you, jesus he’s tall. He sends you a wink leaning against the bar counter. Smiling up at him you ask him for two shots of tequila and a Corona. 


    Pouring the shots for you he sets them down. You take them quickly biting into the lime that was placed beside the glasses on a small dish.  He hands you the beer that you gladly take. Taking a couple of sips sighing from the feeling of the alcohol buzzing through your system.


    Holding the beer as you make your way back to see something that makes your blood boil. Another woman was with Tom, her hands all over him. His eyes widen when he sees your figure behind her. Before he can even say anything you yank her hair pulling her backwards. 


    Pulling down so she falls on her ass, her stiletto breaking from the fall. Her face holds fear as she tries to get up. You place your heel on her chest making her stop moving. The look in her eyes held fear , people around you started to form.


“I don’t know who the fuck you are but if I ever see you around Tom again I won’t stop from breaking a bottle on your whore head” your tone full of venom as you pour your beer down on her face. She struggles but your heel digs into her chest making her cry in pain. Her coughing as she choked on the alcohol filled the air.


“Babe, stop people are recording” Tom pulls your arm pulling you off the woman. Turning around you get out of his grasp throwing your empty beer bottle on the ground. The glass shattering flying in different directions.


“I’m leaving Tom” your eyes filling with tears as you shove people out of the way. Your legs shakily walking as fast as they could towards the entrance. Tom calling after you making you grit your teeth. 


     Walking out into the chilly night air made your buzz end immediately. The wind blows your hair behind your hair behind your shoulders. You knew where Tom lived and would walk until you could get an uber or something. The sound of your heels clicking filled the London air. A shiver running down your spine as another gush of wind blew by. 


    A car was slowly driving next to you as you walked. Looking over to see Tom’s Audi slowly driving next to you. The window rolling down to show Tom looking at you. Cars were lining up behind him but you didn’t care.


“Darling,get in the car please!”Tom begs as you keep walking down the sidewalk. You couldn’t even stand to look at his face right now.


    The car stops and Tom gets out causing cars to honk. He walks over to you lifting you over his shoulder effortlessly. Damn his strength. Your legs thrashing as he carried you to the Audi. 

    Opening the car door he tosses me into the back seat .Locking the door till he gets to his side of the car. Unlocking it he gets in keeping it locked making you pout in the back seat. The whole car ride home was dead silent.


-


“She was all over you Tom” you rip your hand out of his. If you could see a color it would be red. He knew how you felt when you went out together. She was practically grinding on him.


“Wait, are you going to blame me? You’re not as innocent as you think darling” Tom seethes walking into right after you. Snapping your head in his direction so fast your hair flipped over your shoulder. Your eyes narrowing into slits over at your boyfriend.


“Fucking excuse me? ” You snap walking up to him poking his toned chest with your maroon acrylic nail. Is he trying to seriously turn this on you?


“You were practically flirting with the bartender for drinks, don’t think I didn’t see..” Tom’s posture changing into a tense stance. His face held anger just like yours.You didn’t even flirt with the bartender? What the fuck.


“Fuck you Holland” you slap him across the face leaving a handprint on his cheek. The slap hurting your hand cause part of your palm hit his jawline. Adrenaline pumping through your veins watching as Tom’s chest rose up and down quicker.


“Fuck you” he grits out through his teeth. Your hand was trembling as you reached for the ring on your left hand. Taking it off you throw it at his chest making it ricochet off somewhere else.


“Take your ring Tom, I knew you weren’t ready to commit” tears were falling down your cheeks as you head towards the bedroom. Anxiety was flowing through you as you headed towards the closet. Kicking off the heels Tom got you and reaching for your suitcase.


“Angel, please it wasn’t what you thought, I swear I didn’t even have my hands on her… She was so damn perss-”


“We’re fucking engaged Tom and you even let her get near you like that?” you laugh grabbing clothes and throwing them in the suitcase. Fear was sketched over his features as he watched you pack. You two have never gotten into a heated argument like this, let alone pack a bag.


“Angel,listen to me dammit!” Tom grips your body pulling it to his. Feeling his hands cup your cheeks making you look at him. Your eyes lowering to his lips as he talked but you tuned him out. Gripping his head pulling his face to yours pressing your lips against his. 


    Your mouths move in a perfect sync as he pushes your body against the wall. A gasp leaves your lips when your back hits the wall. Tom takes the advantage of sliding his tongue into your mouth. His hand lifting your leg around his waist. 


“T-Tom” you moan out as his lips move to your neck. The feeling of him sucking the skin made your knees weak and you dripping wet. That is your weak spot and he knows it.


    His hands reach behind you unzipping the dress letting it fall down to the floor. Your body naturally chilled when the air touches your skin. His body heat instantly warming your skin up. His lips leave a trail down your body leaving you a breathless mess. 


    Watching as he slid your thong down your thighs . Stepping out of them he throws them to the side. Lifting your leg above his shoulder you place your hands on the wall for some kind of support. Lord knows you’re going to need it.


“God, you’re so fucking beautiful..” His voice low with arousal as he kisses the inside of your thigh. Feeling his lips moving slowly towards where you wanted him the most. He bites the inside of your thigh making your head tilt back.


“I-I’m still mad at y-” your sentence being cut off by his tongue licking up your slit swirling around your clit. A moan fills the air as you grip onto his curls. Looking down he sends a wink up at you making your legs wobble. His fingers sliding into your dripping pussy as he slowly pumps them in and out of you.


“Still mad at me Angel?” he asks giving your clit a kiss,still pumping his fingers in and out of you picking up a faster pace. The eye contact between the two of you made your breath hitch in your throat. Your hips were moving involuntarily needing more than just his fingers.


“F-Fuck Tom I-I” you couldn’t even form a sentence. Gripping his curls as pleasure builds up inside of you. Your stomach tightens as you feel the urge to cum.


   His fingers withdrawing from inside you making a whimper escape your lips. Tom lifts you up carrying you to the bed. Laying you down on the soft black comforter. He strips himself of his shirt unbuttoning it slowly. Sliding his shirt off letting it fall to the floor behind him. Your eyes watching his muscles move as he undressed himself.


He is a work of art.


   Tom gets on the bed positioning himself in between your legs. He groans as he slides the tip of his cock up and down your slit. Your breathing was shaky from the endorphins running through your body. He places his his forearm next to your head as he slides into you. A moan escapes Tom as he fills you up completely. 


“P-Please” you mumble against his neck.


   Veins prominent as he clenched his jaw tight,thrust going in and out of you quickly.His free hand grasped your hip tight, nails digging into your skin. Wrapping your legs around his waist pulling him closer. Moans were falling from your lips as he pounded into you.


   Gripping onto his back scratching your nails down his back. Tom hisses from you scratching his back, thrusts becoming deeper as he angled your hips up. Moans filled the air as he pounded into you, pleasure pulsing in your veins. Tom’s lips crash down on yours in a passionate kiss. His thrusts slowing down but hitting you deep still. 


   Running your fingers through his soft curls as the two of you kissed. A moan escaping you causes you to break the kiss. Your head turning to the side as his thumb rubs circles on your clit. Hot wet kisses were placed on your neck leaving you a panting mess. This man would be the death of you, how could you stay mad at him through all of this?


“You know you’re my girl right?” Tom breathes against your neck, his breath making your sore neck twinge. His hands grab yours entwining them place them beside your head. Tilting your hips up he goes deep hitting your g-spot repeatedly.


“Y-yes Tom, I’m yours” you moan out squeezing his hands as the pleasure built up inside you. Your legs were shaking from how close you were.


“Fuckin’ hell” Tom moans into your neck his thrusting getting faster. You could tell he was getting close because he was getting more and more vocal. The headboard banging against the wall the faster he went.


“I’m gonna cum” you whimpered as Tom rested his forehead against yours.Reaching down he starts rubbing your clit in quick circles.


    Taking your free hand to place it on the side of his cheek. Guilt sinking your chest for slapping him earlier. Your thoughts being interrupted as your orgasm sends a wave of pleasure over you. Tom slows his thrusts as he releases letting out a low moan. You laid there panting as Tom rolls off of you. 


    Sitting up then falling back down on the bed due to fatigue hitting you like a bag of bricks. Tom gives you a quick kiss before getting off the bed. Your eyes staring at his ass cause it’s perfection. He grabs a pair of sweatpants from the floor slipping them on. 


    Tom tosses you his button up which you put on. Getting off the bed, your legs wobbling a bit as you walk over to a mirror buttoning the shirt up. Your curls were deflated and into waves now, your reflection wasn’t as bad as you thought. Tom leaves the room making a pain in your heart start to form. Looking over at your suitcase on the floor with clothes thrown carelessly into it.


“Now darling… I know you’re upset with me, but can you please forget about what happened tonight? I didn’t want her on me because I have you.. I chose you to spend the rest of my life with,not her.. Now I’m going to ask you again and pray you still love me.. will you marry me and be Mrs. Holland?” Tom asks holding up your engagement ring you threw earlier. 


    Nodding with tears in your eyes, you wrap your arms around his neck pressing your lips against his. He smiles grabbing your hand and slipping your ring back where it’s supposed to be. Placing your hand on his cheek he turns his head giving the palm a kiss. 


“I love you,Bitch” you grin at Tom playfully,a snicker following after.


“I love you,Jerk” he winks lifting you over his shoulder running towards the kitchen. The only sounds that filled the house was laughter, funny remarks and some Netflix.. maybe some chilling too..


A/N: Guess which tv show I was watching while I was typing this..

Study Hard {Sirius Black x Reader *SMUT*}

I think this is the third time I posted this. It keeps on getting deleted for some reason so i’m sorry if it’s popping in and out of your dashboard. 

Sincerely,

Nat Meg.

Request: Can you make a young Sirius x reader smut? Like he wants some attention and that’s what he gets

WARNING: sexual themes, rough

@iwillpoundyoumikey @all-the-hp-love


Enjoy!

Time had passed by quite fast and (Y/n) have been unaware of this. She had been studying for hours upon hours, her mind completely immersed in every lesson and chapter. She was normally not this studious and would rather read other books, preferably something intriguing and not the names of every plant that could heal a doxy’s bite if it weren’t for her N.E.W.T.S.


(Y/n) took a deep breath and was about to flip to the next page when she heard loud voices coming from the doorway.

“Got it from a muggle store! I told them I wanted one of those black dragonskin jackets and no questions asked and voila, they gave it to me!” Sirius bragged loudly to his housemates who were all awed. He straightened his brand new leather jacket and ran his fingers through his hair, making the ladies squeal, but he had one girl in mind.

He approached you from behind the couch where you sat, resting his chin on your shoulder before giving you a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Hello, love. Haven’t seen you all day,” he smiled, “What’re you reading?”

“Healing herbs,” (Y/n) replied.

Sirius immediately picked up the humorless tone in your voice and so he brushed the back of his fingers on your cheek, gently turning your face to meet his eyes.

“But you’ve been studying all the day. I missed you.” He tucked your hair affectionately behind your ear.

“I know, sweetheart. I just need to study for the exams.”

Sirius tilted his head, something that made your heart melt and swell.

“Maybe you should read someplace else, mm? So you could um…concentrate better?” His voice lowered, thick with lust but (Y/n) did not notice.

The common room was now full of other students, loudly chattering, so it was no longer a quiet place to study. Maybe Sirius has a point. Oblivious to his intentions, (Y/n) smiled and nodded.

A different scenery might just help a lot and to be with Sirius would certainly help her study better since he was great in almost every class. She closed her book while Sirius followed her from behind, eyeing her short skirt as she climbs up the stairs to their dormitory.

He closed the door gently, locking it with a spell. (Y/n) sat down on one of the beds and opened her book to where she left off but Sirius had a different idea in mind.

He transformed himself into his animagus form, a large black dog with his neck tie as a red collar, before walking up to the bed where you sat. He sniffed your socks and began to tickle your toes with his nose.

“Sirius! Tsk, no!” You pulled away, tucking your legs to your chest. “I’m not in the mood.”

The dog whined and hopped onto the bed, continuously sniffing you and licking your hands but seeing as you were definitely not giving up easily, he took the book from you and dashed under the bed.

“Sirius! Get back here! I am not playing games!”

This only made him happier so he wagged his tail and ran around the room while you chased him. It went for a few minutes with you casting spells and charms to make him stop but he was quicker. After a few hexes, however, you managed to knock him out. He slowly transformed back into his human form, his back against the wall with your book between his teeth.

You took it from him and he smirked once more, “Still gonna study, love?”

With a shake of your head, you replied to him and gave a sigh, “I believe not. I won’t be able to pay attention anymore.”

“Then have it on me.”

He kissed you deeply and pulled you against his chest, his hands on your waist. You kissed him back with the equal amount of adoration and pure lust, tasting him, feeling him. His tongue began to lick your lips and even felt brave enough to slide inside your mouth, coaxing your tongue to come out and play. You moaned softly against his hardening length before whispering close to his ear.

“Was this your plan all along? To distract me?” You teased, “ Because if it is…”

You wrapped your hand around his neck tie, pulling him close before licking a long stripe from his jaw to the shell of his ear.

“You’ve been a very bad dog.”

Sirius was beyond aroused. His cock stiffened and he could not contain it any longer. He needed attention and you were going to give it to him whether you liked it or not. He did not need anymore teasing. He wanted the main event, the highlight, the damn fucking main dish.

He swiftly removed his jacket and shirt, revealing his toned chest before ripping away your blouse, leaving it as a torn piece of fabric lying on the floor. You immediately jumped and he caught you by the thighs, continuing his hot kisses on your throat. He nipped your skin softly, leaving you moaning and grinding against his hard on.

“Mm, I feel you, love. So sweet.”

He skillfully unhooked your bra and had you pressed against the wall, his mouth now trailing down from your collarbone to the top of your breasts. He began to suck on your skin, marking you as his own, leaving hickeys behind. They would surely stay for days just like last time but at this point, you were sure that everybody knows who they belong to. He gave you a quick peck and moved to your nipples, sucking it into his mouth. He flicked it with his tongue while his other hand groped your other breast, making you moan louder.

“A-Ah, Sirius…T-That feels…good,”

“Come on, sweetheart. Onto the bed,“

He commanded. You headed towards the nearest bed and laid down, sprawled out on the sheets with heaving breaths. Sirius crawled on top of you slowly like a hungry predator approaching its prey, his eyes staring back at you. It sent shivers down your spine to see him so primal and wild but it also excited you as you have never seen him like this before. He hovered above you and tugged your skirt down, removing it completely. His eyes landed on your panties and the wet spot that had now formed on the cloth.

“Is that for me, darling?”

“Yes, Sirius.”

“Mm, love it when you say my name,” He knelt down between your legs and spread them apart. “I would love it more if you screamed it.”

He quickly removed your panties and dove into your womanhood, tasting the juices that trickled down. Your hand automatically went to his hair, grabbing a fistful. His fingers moved to your opening, his thumb pressing into your clit in such a way that made you writhe beneath his merciless tongue and fingers.

“Oh, Sirius! Mm…”

He licked up and down slowly, making sure you enjoy every second he dragged his tongue across your folds. You were already soaking by the time he stuck two of his fingers inside you, you gripping the sheets hard. He kept his pace quick and fast, allowing them to slide in and out of you easily until you were nearing your climax. That’s when he had to stop and kiss your lips to taste you once more.

“Please don’t tease me anymore. I want you so bad.”

You did not need to say it again. Sirius removed his pants and boxers and pumped his thick cock in front of you. You couldn’t help but admire the way he bit his lip as he pleasured himself before slicking your folds with his pre-cum. He gently pushed in, savoring every inch that entered your tight cavern, moaning so quietly until he bottomed out. He pulled all the way and thrusted back once more, creating a slow rhythm that had you wrapping your legs around his waist.

“Ugh, so tight, m’ dear! Feels so fucking good. And it’s all for me.”


He growled. He rested his elbows on the mattress and started increasing his speed. He thrusted hard and fast, driven to feel the need to you make come. You were his princess, his queen, and his goddess and deserved nothing but the best. The bed began to squeak and scratch the floor, no doubt leaving behind marks. He was slamming himself inside you and could not care less of the damage the two of you caused in the room. You were entrapped in this moment of intense pleasure and passion the man you loved.


After a few more minutes, Sirius pulled out and carried you to the top of the bed where you were close to the wall.

“Come on, baby. I want you on your hands and knees,”

You sat up and positioned yourself before him, your arse in front of him.


“So nice for me, love. That’s a good girl.”


He slid back inside you and continued thrusting, his pace quicker than ever. He soon began to hit your g-spot and it was at this moment, you were already moaning and screaming. Your insides were clenching onto him tight as you were pushed near your climax.


“Ahh! S-Sirius! Oh my God,” you screamed, “A-Ah! I’m so close!”

“Oh, love. Yes! Do it for me, baby. Come for me. Doing so well!”

He gave your arse a loud smack before draining thick spurts of his cum inside you while you released as well. It was the best climax you’ve ever had and even though you were not his first, Sirius admitted that no one had ever made him cum that much. He panted heavily as though he ran for miles before pulling out and lying beside you.

“That was…amazing,” He smiled, pulling a blanket and covering the two of you.

“Mm, I enjoyed it.” You replied, giggling. You scooted close to him and rested your head on his chest, your fingers tracing circles on his skin. He yawned wide and kissed your forehead softly.

“I promise you we’ll study tomorrow. No more distractions.”

The two of you soon fell fast asleep, all safe and sound.



“Blimey, Padfoot, you could’ve at least had the decency to clean up. All your clothes are on my bed,” James scolded.

“And my lamp’s broken! Even the drawers are a mess!”  Peter complained.

“Trust me, boys, both of you have the least damage,” Remus sighed and wiped his face with his hand frustratedly. “At least you don’t have scratches on your walls and floors.”

“What can I say? We study hard,” Sirius replied with a grin.

Anyway, at this point johnlock is canon.

John and Rosie move into 221b and it’s like “wait only two bedrooms oh nooooo what shall we ever do? 👀” And Sherlock is a gentleman and offers John his bed and he will of course sleep on the couch and John says “don’t be ridiculous” and so it only makes sense for them to share a bed PLATONICALLY of course.

But then one night, after a few weeks of this arrangement, John is like “is this normal? I mean…do friends do this sort of thing?” And Sherlock says “I doubt it. But then, when have we ever been normal?” And looks over to John with a soft smile and John looks back and they both burst into giggles just like that first night.

And John closes the distance between them like it’s the most natural thing in the world, because it IS. Because it’s real and it fits and Sherlock makes a sound like he’s broken and the two of them kiss and kiss and kiss, like they’ve got all the time in the world. Because they do, now. They have that time.

And eventually Rosie cries on the baby monitor and John breaks the kiss to get her and Sherlock says “I’ll come with” and the two of them share sweet sipping kisses while tending to the baby and John says “You’re going to kill me! I’m trying to be a proper parent here,” and Sherlock shrugs and says “Rosie needs to get used to seeing us this way anyway” and John is like “Oi! I don’t really want our little girl to watch us make out.”

And Sherlock freezes and his eyes fill and he says “Our little girl?” And John realizes and his heart breaks a little and he and Rosie go into Sherlock’s arms and both clutch at him and John says “of course, yes, OURS” and if his voice wavers a little with unshed tears, Sherlock doesn’t mention it.

They hold each other like that until their daughter is sleeping soundly once more and they put her back in her crib and when they make love, it’s at the same unhurried pace that they kissed. Because they have the time now. They have forever.

Our Pet Monster

TW: Mentions of Pedophilia

When we moved to Pine Drive, I never expected to find a conspiracy among the kids there.

I was an only child and a loner, thanks to my parents always moving. My dad’s job had him hopping from state to state. It was a pretty tough going if you wanted to make friends. But he promised that we’d stay at least six months here, so I had a chance to make at least one friend.

And whadya know, on my block, there were a ton of kids to make friends with.

I didn’t even really have to try. Two days after moving in, the Langley twins Diana and David were pounding on my door, asking who owned that bike parked in the front yard and if they wanted to play. I was shy but the twins were ecstatic to meet me.

Apparently their group had an odd number before I moved in and they needed equal teams to play their games with.

There was Alicia, who was six, she was the baby but she was very sweet. The oldest was Fletcher who was thirteen but his social skills were a bit behind so he didn’t mind hanging out with a bunch of nine and ten year olds. I think there was about ten of us all in all.

But I learned soon enough that there was a secret each of them shared.

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I’ve been working on this for the past two days…
This was supposed to be a simple work what happened-
I just wanted to draw Underfell babybones fluff since I rarely ever see the Underfell bros actually being NICE to each other in any format.

This started out just being a simple sketch of the two of them, then for some reason I decided it needed a background, and THEN for some OTHER reason I decided it needed a story-
Question is will I ever get around to writing one? haha

Little Things

MASTERLIST

A/N: This is my very bad attempt at something cute, but you know… Fluff isn’t my best. Also a bit different from what I’ve done in the past, so feedback would be great. I messed up the months, I’m aware. 

Word count: 3,365

Pickering, Canada
April 2024

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self care "(beauty)" tips

1. Ditch the overpriced products and make your own toner using apple cider vinegar and water.

2. Get a gentle cleanser, from brands like Cetaphil, CeraVe, and/or Simple Skincare for example.

3. Use two different towels for your body and for intimate when showering.

4. For soft hydrated skin use baby oil gel after a shower, if you are feeling like you need extra moisture, follow up with a good lotion by Vaseline or Palmer’s Cocoa Butter.

5. Use an oil as a nightly moisturizer, yup, even if you already have oily skin. It helps give you a natural glow and hydrate your skin without being over powering. Some of the best oils are RMS beauty oil, Josie Maran’s Argan Oil, and more on the simpler side: any kind of vitamin E oil.

6. Use sunscreen or a moisturizer with SPF as a daily moisturizer! Even if it’s a cold and dark day. UV intensity is always there and with protection you can prevent and subside acne scars and dark spots, as well as any sun damage to your skin.

7. Use an eye cream to combat dryness under your eyes and also for your makeup (if you wear any) to lay down smoother.

8. Let your boobs and your vagina breathe every now and then. You don’t always need to wear a bra or panties if you’re going to bed, and if you feel most comfortable with them, wear bralettes that aren’t overly tight, and loose cotton panties. Trust me, you’ll feel a bit freer.

9. Buy an at home foot-spa, ConAir has great ones for reasonable prices. Sometimes it’s good just to get home and have some you-time.

10. If drinking water is hard for you, make detox waters! You can google all kinds of recipes from adding simple cucumbers and lemon slices to even getting creative and adding watermelon and berries. It will get you more excited to drink water and also add some flavor if that’s what you need.

11. Massage your scalp. This increases blood flow and in result helps your hair to grow. If your goal is for hair growth, use one of your favorite hair growth products from oils/greased to massage into your hair as you do it. For example (and my favorite): Jamaican Black Castor Oil.

12. If your lips are chapped and it seems like even chapstick and lip balms aren’t having an affect, use a lip scrub and finish off with just a dap vitamin e oil.

13. Eat fruit. If you’re hungry and it’s late at night: eat fruit. If you’re hungry and there’s “no food in the house”: eat fruit. If you’re hungry but pressing on time: eat fruit. EAT FRUIT! EAT FRUIT! EAT FRUIT!

14. Moisturize your eyelashes. I know, it’s something we hardly think about. But we moisturize our hair and skin, think about how little we touch our lashes unless it’s with makeup? Moisturizing your lashes will stimulate growth and maintain its health. Vitamin E oil or a little dap of aloe vera gel would work.

15. TRIM. YOUR. ENDS. Don’t hang on to dead hair or split ends simply for length. Otherwise your hair will just keep breaking where it’s already broken and stay the same length that it is. Healthy hair is “good hair.”

16. If you have oily or acne prone skin use a very gentle but affective form of exfoliation every other day, such as a konjac sponge.

17. Remove makeup with micellar water, it’s super refreshing and will lift every bit of makeup from your face

witch tip ✨

can’t remember what a crystal does? can’t figure out what a person’s aura color means? what color candle do i use for a protection spell again? 

colors are always universal! whether its gemstones, candles, auras, flowers, or even sometimes chakras, colors typically help assign everything similar traits. its great to have a general knowledge of colors and i think its something almost every witch should know! its another thing that is personal to you. how do certain colors make you feel and what do they mean to you? your color meanings don’t have to resemble other witches’ lists. i know there’s lots of color lists out there, but here’s my own short list with wiggle room.

☁️ white - purity, blessing, calming, cleansing. (crown chakra.. some see this as a richer purple or violet) 

🏴 black - rid of negativity, protection. (in some cases for auras it can mean bad signs, but not always)

❤️ red - passion, lust, anger. (root chakra)

🎀  pink - affection, love, relationships.

🌞 orange - confidence, joy, travels, success. (sacral chakra)

📒 yellow - happiness, intellect, creativity. (solar plexus chakra)

🍀 green - growth, luck, envy, success. (heart chakra)

💧 blue - peace, emotions, meditation. (throat chakra)

🔮 purple - spirituality, higher knowing, meditation. (third eye chakra)

🌰 brown - animals, home, grounding.

⚙️ grey - security, neither “good” nor “evil”, neutrality.

💰 gold - masculinity, success, solar magick.

⚖️ silver - femininity, divine, cosmic influence, lunar magick.

*remember for some colors a lighter or darker shade may be appropriate for different magick.

if something has more than one color, think of the combination of those two colors and how they will help you. need to protect yourself from those who bring you down? combine self love and protection with rhodonite! want some powerful grounding energy straight from the sun? charge some tiger’s eye in sunlight!

always make magickal meanings your own! happy color casting!

Originally posted by movedtomedicaltag

36″ x 48″ (M)

word count: 3.6k

genre: smut; idol!verse

pairing: reader/taehyung

warning(s)/kink(s): intercrural sex (thigh fucking) + dirty talk + come play + size kink (?)

a/n: the title is a joke about canvas size, that of which is a large size for one lmao

masterlist

Originally posted by taehyungsource

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