Actually, it’s my sort-of dream to eventually be the old lady in the neighborhood that’s like the crazy old lady, like crazy old Martha, and just have, like, messy white hair and, like, ratty clothes, and I just drive around all day dead-eyeing teenagers. It’s, like… it’s my dream. I can’t wait to be there for that.
Have some disgustingly adorable modern Alistair x Warden being all domestic and… adorable.
Alistair found himself bouncing on the balls of his toes as
the smaller woman beside him scrutinized the back of the cereal box.
“No, no – too many carbohydrates.” She slid it back onto the shelf with the rest
of the boxes of Cap’n Isabela O’s; with it went all of his high seas plans for
the send-away captain’s hat.
He gave a weary sigh and scouted out further down the aisle,
out pacing her in only a matter of steps.
She trailed along at a leisured pace, focused on the colorful boxes
shouting their slogans down at them.
One stood out among the others, he grabbed it off the shelf
with an amazed gasp.
“Oh!” He spun the box
of Quinari Crisps around so she could see the front. “Look at this one! It comes with an inflatable sword!”
She squinted at the box before shaking her head. “That’s more food coloring than food! And besides, you have real swords at home.”
He drooped and tucked it back onto the shelf with its
brethren, mumbling something about never having enough swords away from her
The cart finally caught up to him, the woman pushing it
along still captured by all the different options of breakfast cereals. He sidled up beside her and with a great over-dramatic
yawn slipped his arm over her shoulders, as if he were some sly high schooler
putting the moves on his naïve date. She
flashed him a suffering smirk. He moved
in to steal a kiss, surreptitiously extending his arm to knock a box of Golem
Grahams into the cart.
It was a bold and stupid move. She elbowed him in the side and shoved the box
back onto the shelf.
trying to eat better!”
“Yes, but now?
Couldn’t we eat better after shopping?”
She sighed as they neared the end of the aisle, taking down
one last box and handing it to him.
“Here. How about these?”
“Warden Bran?” He
pouted at her. “But bran is for old
He flipped the box over to read from the back. "In vitamins, fortified. In fiber, packed. In fat, low.
Who writes this?”
She grabbed the box from his hand and threw it into the
cart. The stack of items within shifted
with the extra weight and slid into a small landslide, revealing an orange box
at the bottom.
He leaned in and hoisted the box up out of her grasp as she
went to grab it before he could reach it.
“Marshmallow Cocoa Nugs!”
A chiding tone edged into his voice.
“You… you must have put those in there!” She swatted at his arm, but he maneuvered it
to the side.
“Oh, did I?” He
grabbed her around the waist with one arm, picking her up and setting her back
on her feet so he stood between her and the shelf. “Well, I’ll just put these back then.” He set the box up on the upper most shelf,
far from her reach. The mascot nug on
the box, a large ribbon around its neck, looked almost sad all alone among the
granola cereals banished to the top rack.
“Well, that’s just excessive.” She tried to step around him and back to the
cart, but he stopped her with a smothering bear hug. This time no sugary cereals snuck their way
into their shopping. She gave a bit of a
squeak, but returned the sudden hug.
better.” He gave a brief sigh and took
up pushing the cart. “Let’s go find the lettuce.”