That whole “Bitty never jokes about babysitting” thing absolutely killed me like, can you imagine little southern gay Eric R. Bittle who has internalized the idea that gay men can’t have kids, and even though he’s always wanted a whole mess of children, has just kind of resigned himself to being Uncle Eric to all his friend’s kids. And then one day while he’s in the kitchen baking, Jack comes in and sits down at the counter with a notebook and says, “Okay I know you said you don’t want me to even think about proposing until after you’ve graduated, but I’d really like to start thinking about the house we’re going to buy, so I can set aside some of my bonus for the downpayment”. And Bitty gets halfway through an internal ‘this boy’ when Jack keeps going, frowning down at his notebook. “It really depends on how many kids we want, I guess. For how much space we need.”
And Jack’s sitting there with his serious face on, thinking about how they definitely have to make sure the backyard has enough room for a homemade rink, totally unaware that he has just murdered his boyfriend.
Another humans are weird/space orcs idea that came to me while trying to drink water upside down:
Humans are apex predators. We’re unbreakable and relentless and legion and lethal. Nothing gets to us- except us.
It’s the stupidest little things that can stop up a human.
Many aliens have theorized about this. Perhaps with no natural enemies, the species tried to threaten them with themselves in a desperate search for some kind of challenge. Maybe it’s cosmic karma for being nigh unstoppable. Maybe they had transcended so much that the nuances of life were tiny and incomprehensible to them. Maybe it’s natural selection trying to thin the herd.
Whichever the cause, it’s a strange combination of disturbing and amusing to see a human be defeated by itself. It’s a little alarming to see the most resilient and powerful species in the universe be completely shut down with things that pale in comparison to their normal challenges.
Seeing a human function almost completely fully with several broken bones… but absolutely crippled and reduced to using one arm when faced with a large hangnail.
My dad broke his leg in a snowmobile accident in such a way that the bone was sticking out of his leg. He crawled a half mile in the snow to the nearest house to ask for help. But when he stubs his toe on the coffee table every few weeks, it’ll bring him to his knees.
I recently got a double conch piercing done- two massive needles shoved through the thickest cartilage in my ear, one right after the other. I’ve got 5 other piercings. None, not even the conch, hurt as much as getting a single hair yanked out of my head.
I see people eat some of the world’s hottest foods all laced with capsaicin which can kill things, and drink alcohol that’s literally poisonous, and break pen cases with their teeth. But a too cold slush drink? Unable to talk or move, head between the knees, for about two minutes, because brain freeze. Or, better yet, sometimes we literally choke on spit. Nearly asphyxiate. Because we regularly ‘swallow down the wrong hole’.
Alien: Why did you say, last month, that your broken ribs and arm and massive blood loss was ‘fine’, but when you got a paper cut today, you cried for ten minutes and now still refuse to unwrap your wound? It is tiny in comparison to some things that you’ve faced without hesitation.
Human: Honestly it’s really stupid and I don’t really know, but I will swear up and down and until the day I die, a broken bone hurts way less than a paper cut.
Alien: But… no. It’s not worse. It… that doesn’t make sense.
harry potter, aged 23, visiting teddy and andromeda for his normal weekly cup of tea and w/e, and andromeda is in the kitchen and teddy’s run upstairs to fetch harry the latest game he’s obsessed with, and harry notices a leatherbound photo album half-sticking out of the bookshelf in the living room that he’s never seen before, and sort of idly takes it down, and it’s full of photos of the malfoys
photos of narcissa: standing stiffly next to andromeda, the two of them not touching, looking very dubious, and teddy’s ruffled head in the bottom left corner of the picture as he tries uselessly to leap up and wave; sitting very still in a high-backed armchair looking quietly pleased and possessive with teddy six months old and asleep in the crook of her arm; frowning intensely as she pushes rune cards towards a blithely chattering 3 year old teddy.
but most of the photos are of draco. draco asleep on the sofa with teddy curled up and asleep on his chest – there are deep grey circles under draco’s eyes and he’s waxy pale with exhaustion even in sleep, and teddy can’t be more than a couple of months old. draco looking horrified and holding a squirming pudgy teddy at arms length as teddy gleefully spits up what looks like some of his first solids on draco’s crisp white shirt. draco reading a copy of the daily prophet with a 2001 date while teddy crawls up over his back and hangs off around draco’s neck and blows spitballs in his ear. draco and teddy posed solemnly in andromeda’s back garden, draco straddling a broom, teddy next to him and almost beside himself with excitement on the toy broom harry got him for his fourth birthday. draco and teddy playing exploding snap. draco walking in a park next to andromeda with a fast asleep four year old teddy scooped up easily in his arms, snoring on his shoulder. draco in dark jeans and a soft, worn thin looking t-shirt laughing up at the camera while teddy advances on him with hands covered in brightly coloured paint.
harry had no idea narcissa and andromeda were in touch, let alone draco. when he hears teddy thundering back downstairs, he quietly closes the book and replaces it in the cupboard. it doesn’t have to mean anything. he testified at both of the malfoys’ trials. he doesn’t care about them anymore. he’s not even angry.
only that monday at the ministry, when he’s heading for auror hq, draco malfoy wanders past in his buttoned up formal robes clasped tight around his neck, frowning and haughty as ever over a file, shooting harry a swift venomous look as is his habit, and harry’s heart suddenly kicks into high gear.
So ever since I started reading the manga, there was always
one character I always wondered about; the Old Boss, or the boss that came
before Mori. Sure he seemed like an unimportant side character in the way he’s
presented, but I have reasons to believe he’s more than that.
First, let’s compile what we know about him.
He was ruthless even when he’s not bedridden and
paranoid, as was said by Kouyou whose lover was killed because she tried to
escape the Mafia with him.
And again when Tanizaki tried to kill Mori
but was stopped by Kouyou, saying that if Mori died, the Mafia would return to
its ‘wretched ways’. We can say with complete confidence that Mori’s way is so
much ‘kinder’ than the old boss.
He was bedridden with illness that also made him
paranoid of attacks. This is not the case before the illness strike because
Hirotsu mentioned he become like that after
If Mori hadn’t stopped him by slicing his
throat, he would have burnt Yokohama down.
Wait that’s it? Yep. All we knew about him was
in that episode and that chapter. But what we know about him was profound.
First let’s look at this scene:
Notice how Hirotsu mentioned Dazai specifically? Here’s the
original panel for that scene:
In this, we can confidently say that Hirotsu singled out
Dazai about how was the one who should’ve been most not alright with the development. The words used for it ‘Dazai –kun mo rikai suru tokoro de attarou‘ implies this. It hints that Dazai should’ve
been resentful to Mori because he killed the Old Boss. But against all odds, he
understood why Mori did what he did.
Then there’s this scene.
It really bothered me and when I looked deeper this is what
cemented my conclusion of Dazai and the Old Boss’ connection. So as we could
see in this scene, Mori killed the Old Boss and had Dazai become the sole
witness. Now this premise has many problems.
1. Other than Mori, who was a doctor so obviously
he was to take care of the sick, notice that Dazai was the only one in the room.
Now this is strange. He was the only one who was by the Old Boss’ side, all alone
in the room with the vulnerable, sick man when there’s no doctor to hover on
the bedside. This in and of itself is a proof of their bond. If they weren’t
well-known to have it, then all the Mafia would be suspicious to the fact that
he’s accompanying the boss when he’s the most vulnerable.
On top of that he was entrusted with the
Boss’ security as he was in the room with Mori who might or might not harm him
(spoiler, he harmed the boss.) so he was supposed to be the one to care the
most about the Old Boss’ wellbeing.
As we know from the light novel, Odasaku
mentioned that Dazai was considered to
become an Executive at 16. In this scene he was only 14 and at that point of
time, he had enough sway in the Organization that he can be the sole witness to the boss’ will and
everyone just—nods and go along with it, making Mori the new boss despite them
should be having Five Executive that would have fought for the seat. Why?
In this case, Dazai cannot be adopted and raised by Mori as the fandom believed. If he
was Mori’s and he became the sole witness everyone would call bull on it
because he’d be perceived as Mori’s accomplice in taking out the Old Boss. They’d
be executed and one of the upper echelon would take the throne themselves.
This would only work if the Port Mafia to
believe that he couldn’t harm the boss and wouldn’t let harm come to him.
But what about this picture, you ask? Well, Mori did have a connection with Dazai too seing how Dazai got the coat he wore from before he was 14 to 18 from him. That’s a good 4 years wearing the same thing. I think this was actually the same case with Chuuya not appearing in the Dark Era; the plot has yet to be told to the readers and kept secret.
And then there’s the possibility that they knew each other because of Dazai’s wounds. If the Old Boss is as ruthless as Kouyou made him out to be, it won’t be far-fetched to say he’s the one resposible for Dazai’s numerous injuries and was frequently sent to Mori, the doctor, to get treatment.
Organization needs to know Dazai well and for some reason connect him with not
only being close enough to the Old Boss for it not be strange for him to be all
alone in the room with him and having enough credibility that he can’t possibly
lie about the Old Boss’ last will. On top of that, he needs some reason to be
the one ‘most not alright with it’ in a personal sense.
So what would make this credible? What could make this work?
It would be if by doing so he was giving up his rights to the throne.
Here cometh my conclusion: Dazai was the Old Boss’ son and
the rightful heir to the Port Mafia. If he was one, it won’t be strange for him
to have credibility as 14-year old kid claiming to be the sole witness to a
boss of The Mafia’s biggest bad that made a city doctor its next Boss. More than that, it would be natural for him to
spend time alone in the Boss’ bedside when he was sick and vulnerable.
No, I won’t be dropping Darth Vader’s ‘I am your father’ bomb
here, despite it being extremely tempting. How many father and child bound by
blood have you seen in BSD? That’s right, none. No reason to break the pattern
But what is prevalent? Adopting orphans. Hell, it was
dropped by Odasaku in his last moment as one of Dazai’s driving force. In fact,
most of the main cast are either adopted orphans or have adopted an orphan.
(Fukuzawa & Ranpo, Kunikida & Rokuzo, Akutagawa/Atsushi and Dazai, need
I go on?)
Here’s my verdict: Dazai was the heir to the Port Mafia because
he was the Old Boss’ adopted. When the Old Boss died, everyone in the Mafia who
knew about it, thought that he couldn’t possibly lie because by doing so he’d
be defacing the Old Boss and giving away his rights to the throne. This gave
him the ultimate credibility and thus allowing Mori to become the next King.
Most of all, this also solve the mystery of Mori’s behavior.
Why drive Dazai away when he’s 18, when Mori could’ve killed him or make him go
away before? He made the preparation to drive Dazai away two years beforehand
when Dazai was 16, a good two years after becoming boss. The answer was because
this will reveal his play to his subordinate. In the light novel Odasaku
mentioned about Mori’s fearsome reputation for being ruthless and clever as
hell. And this is the key; reputation.
If Mori killed Dazai before he got a secure standing in the
Mafia, he would be accused to be killing the Old Boss and taking down his heir.
Everyone would be on the scent of blood like sharks, especially in a place as
cruel as the Mafia. So he got himself a reputation, backed by people loyal to
him (Chuuya, Kouyou and, in an extent, Ace who was loyal only to money) and
when he was sure that he has shown what he could and would do to the whole
Mafia and the world, he cut off Dazai because he was no longer needed and now
poses only threat.
By exiling the Prince, he would be able to hog the throne
for himself since the older members would not be rallying behind Dazai to
retake his rights. Truly a long-running plan befitting of him.
But hey, that’s just a theory. A BSD theory. Aaaand cut.
For the solangelo headcanon thing, meeting the parents au?
(im so sorry im taking so long on some of these things just keep coming up that i have to do IMMEDIATELY apparently and those take priority but here are your headcanons!!)
so Nico’s already met Apollo (when he was like 10) and Lester (you know as if they’re separate people even though they’re not) but secretly, right around the time that Lester first showed up at camp, Nico asked him for his permission to date will
apollo thought it was the most adorable thing he’d ever heard and immediately started planning the wedding in his head
A few years after they started dating will takes nico home for a week for christmas and nico and never before experienced the whole “you don’t leave this table until there’s no more food on your plate” thing.
like nico usually ate all the food that he put on his plate but he also knew what he could handle?? naomi did not and just kept scooping food onto his plate all throughout dinner and he didn’t want to be rude???
will skipped out on desert that first night to help nico eat everything
Besides that whole food deal, naomi loves nico so much like she told him to come back anytime he wanted and she even got him and will almost-matching christmas sweaters
and like will can’t really meet maria for obvious reasons but he did meet Hades that one time and boy does he never wanna do that again, for a few reasons
so basically will gets injured somehow and its pretty severe like it’s suspected that he might die from this but he has this dream that he’s in the underworld right in front of Hades’s throne and hades is basically like “Don’t let this happen again” and will wakes up in the infirmary pretty much completely uninjured
nico’s there ofc and will’s just kind of like “hey i met your dad like just now. he says im not allowed to die. possibly ever? not really sure”
im sorry if these seem kind of basic i wrote them after my humanities exam today but i hope you like them!!!
Our party fought an Aboleth and two of our party members began suffocating in their helmets. They managed to figure out they had gills and removed their helmets. After we killed the thing, this exchange happened:
Me OOC: “Can I roll to see if I know anything about how to get rid of the gills?”
GM: “sure, roll Arcana”
*rolls nat 20*
GM: “They will go away within 4 hours of contact with the creature, continued contact increases this time”
Me OOC: “Can we harvest aboleth parts to use for gills at a later time?”
GM: “You can attempt, that would require a medicine check”
*rolls another nat 20*
GM: “wtf…Alright, using Raileas helmet as a sort of bucket, you scoop some of the mucus into it, and using part of its skin, you manage to seal the helmet with the mucous in it. You gain aboleth mucus bucket, with 20 uses.”
Me OOC: “When you’ve lived over 200 years, you learn some weird stuff.”
I appreciate that climate change gets a lot of attention (possibly because it has the potential to have the highest economic costs if left unchecked) but it is my duty to remind everyone that the biggest threat to wildlife and ecosystems today is habitat loss. Not climate change. Not trophy hunting. Not even pollution–though a habitat can become so degraded from pollution that it becomes unusable.
The very best way to curb global destruction of habitat is to implement large-scale changes to our development patterns, energy production, and agricultural system. So be sure to support those efforts politically. You can also support sustainable, multi-use development in your communities(many municipalities talk about community-wide projects at city counsel meetings!). Live densely. Eat less meat. Call out self driving cars for the sprawl-supporting pact with satan that they are. Support public transportation! Don’t support sprawl and McMansions! Recognize that suburbia in general and lawns in particular are a facsimile of greenness that destroy actual usable habitat and replace it with sterile monocultures that require gallons of water, pesticides, and fertilizer to maintain. Stop using products with
altogether. Make your yard wildlife-friendly. Consider a brush pile. Keep your damn cats indoors. Plant native plants. Remove invasive plants. Maybe don’t freak out and call animal control every time you see a bat or snake or coyote in your neighborhood since they were literally there first and we’ve left them no place else to go. Watch out for herps crossing the roads in the breeding season, especially our salamanders. Plant a NATIVE tree. Support your local parks, forests, and waterways, big and small.