Reid : *Is a tall genius with several PhDs who has shot multiple people, overcome drug addiction and works for one of the most feared organizations in the country.
Me : THE SMOLLEST OF THE SMOL MUST PROTECT MY SMOLL CINNAMON ROLL BBY AT ALL COSTS
So I got an ask the other night about a character choosing not to kill people, but knocks them out with blows to the head instead. And it’s not an unreasonable thing for writers to think is legitimate. In fact, in fiction, there are dozens of ways to produce unconsciousness! A sharp hit to the head; a sedative drug injected right into the neck, bro!, or even Darkly Dreaming Dexter with his special horse paralytic.
Hell, on Person of Interest the main characters routinely produce unconscious enemy combatants by shooting them in the @$#RY)G!@#% knees.
Here’s the thing: Every single one of those is complete bullshit.
Poppycock. Nincompoopery. Asscrap. And you’d realize that it’s a crock of crap if you thought about it this way for even half a minute:
You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.
In order to maintain the lifestyle of frequently using the user must eat. It’s no secret that eating on meth is difficult and seems like a chore. Instead a user must look at the bigger picture. Eating replenishes the things meth takes away in order to keep using meth you must have some more energy left in your tank. Simple as that. Then you must look at the health factors induced from meth, eating helps reduce these negative sides of the drug dramatically.The user will not quickly look like they are on drugs to the general public from rapid weight loss also. The user will more than likely not gain weight but if their normal weight is maintained most people will not suspect foul play which is beneficial in this lifestyle. “How is a user to eat with no appetite?” You may ask. Simple. The user must force themselves. Smoking marijuana may help. The “munchies” seem to make marijuana users wolf down tons of food. It may or may not take the edge off the users voided appetite at any rate if the user has access and enjoys marijuana why not try it? Stick to foods that are not dry. Keep a drink of some sort in order to wash the meal down with. Moisture in the food is key as users mouths tend to be dry. Making it painfully difficult to eat food.Fruits are a good option as they tend to have high water concentration in them which makes them very easy to eat. In conclusion users should keep themselves fed by not missing many meals eating healthy, and eating smart. Also use a mouth was called Biotene for dry mouth. Helps if you can’t swallow food and prevents meth mouth. Meth mouth is not cause by any “chemical” in the drug but is do to lack of saliva which naturally protects your teeth.
2. GOING TO BED
In order to maintain the lifestyle the user needs to do another body replenishing exercise known as sleeping. It’s recommended that the user make an attempt to maintain their normal bed time everyday. A speculator may ask. How is a user to sleep when the drug is made to keep them up and going? Simple enough again. Forcing and discipline. Eating a good meal prior to bed, quit using meth beforehand in order to relieve some of the effects. A good rule is stop 4 to 5 hours before the user would normally go to bed. In bed obtain the user should get the most comfortable position and lay there and prepare for a long night of tossing and turning. Even if sleep doesn’t come the user at least recuperated their body by relaxing. There are tricks to getting asleep. One is drink a lot of alcohol which is unhealthy but effective. Another is using sleeping pills which is still not very good for you. Then there is getting a mindset where the users brain just shuts off and they fall sleep. To do this the user must lay comfortably and start to think of a topic that drags on and on. Not really focusing on the topic but just kind of running it through their head. If it’s boring enough the user will normally get relaxed enough to fall asleep. 3 to 5 hours of sleep normally feels like an 8 hour night to a user while under the influence. If it starts getting late and the user feels like giving up and just getting more high, they shouldn’t quit trying. When the user gets for the day up they can use more meth in order to get over any lethargy and get on with their day feeling at least somewhat rested.
A frequent user usually falls prey to some degree of this tooth decaying predator known as “meth-mouth”. This repulsive condition must be avoided at all costs to maintain the users mouth properly without looking like a toothless addict. This tip is a bit easier than the first two. It’s very simple, after smoking the drug, snorting, or whatever. The user will find it beneficial to immediately gargle mouth wash thoroughly, along with brushing with a good stiff tooth brush getting every last nook and cranny. Including the gums, tongue, anything reachable in the mouth. Doing this immediately after usage greatly reduces dry mouth caused by the meth’s ability to draw in moisture. It will not completely get rid of the meth particles as they are constantly flowing through saliva, but it none the less does have benefits. Another good way to maintain teeth is drinking milk to build strong teeth which most people have been hearing their whole lives. Teeth grinding is sometimes done without notice, gum isn’t very good for teeth but the user must weigh the pros and cons and choose whether or not to put a stick of gum in their mouth to avoid some tooth chipping caused by grinding. Paying attention to what your mouth is doing will help, and as stated before this will be easier to do if there is sleep in the user’s system.
In order to maintain this lifestyle the user must have a source of income to pay for the things they need along with the drug unless the user is cooking it which is not recommend and very dangerous. If the work place is a drug-free zone where random urinalysis are given. There are ways around this, the method is falsifying to your work and may result in termination, but usually not illegal depending on the users job. There are pills out there that are pretty expensive that if taken 3 hours before your urine test result in a clean slate on the test. They are expensive but very useful to a user. This pill can be kept on the user at all times easily for quick use in the event of a testing. What is not recommended is hauling around urine in a pocket. In order to use this it needs to be heated to register correctly which under pressure like that would be hard to do. Option 1 is simplest. The user must maintain the job, do what is expected, and earn. If this is maintained crime such as robbery, burglary, and any other profit gaining crime can be avoided with an honest income.
It’s vastly recommended that a user does not try to quickly rise up the ranks of dealers in order to find the next big thing. This could result in getting way to deep with less than reputable characters. It can easily land a user in the hot seat. It’s recommended that the user keep 3 trustworthy dealers in mind. Trustworthy people who are low key, that don’t talk about what the user does, and the user does the same back. The user must find which dealer fits the criteria of low key and decently affordable. The dealer doesn’t have to be the best bargain, convenience and security is more important but the user should invest in a scale in order to make sure they get what they paid for. If the dealer isn’t what the user thought then move on to another. Keep extra dealers to go to in the event the users current dealer gets in trouble or quits. No dealers means no substance simple as that.
6. SLEEPING AROUND
Not recommended but very passionate and energetic when performed. It’s no question meth increases libido, and users will probably find more than usual numbers of sexual encounters if the user socializes properly. It’s highly recommended during sex to have the male wear a condom unless they are committed to the partner. If safe sex isn’t practiced and the user sleeps with lots of people. The odds of STD’s and unwanted pregnancies are substantially high. Safe is better than sorry.
7. LOW PROFILE
In order to not get caught using or possessing the user must not tip anyone off of their usage with anyone besides dealers. Very easily the wrong people could find out and the user could easily experience being labeled a bad person by people who will tell others. Which could in turn make it back to their work resulting in loss of employment or authorities which could lead to jail time or mandatory rehab or both. A good rule of thumb to stay under the radar is think about it like this. For every 1 person that knows the user gets high it’s a 10% more chance they will get caught. So if 10 people know. The chances of getting caught are 100%. The user may as well stay quiet and enjoy their high alone knowing almost everyone is oblivious to what is going on. All the while keeping a relatively good status in society.
8. DATING A USER, Not Recommended
This is a recipe for disaster. It commonly results in arguments about drugs that get very intense due to the decreased levels of serotoninin the brain which basically causes lack of happiness after long term use. The chances of dating a user and it blowing up in the other users face some way. Is very high. Total trust in that person would be required. Freedom and life could be in the balance. It’s not worth it
9. DATING NON-USERS, Recommended
Hide the drugs. Don’t talk about it. Leave it out of the picture. What the person doesn’t know can’t hurt them. Keep going about the relationship as any other. If the significant other doesn’t even know. Why would the police or anyone else have reason to know? This tip may make you feel bad but it’s crucial to not getting caught. Also way healthier and probably in the long run will get the user to stop getting high.
10. HIDING PARAPHANALIA
Whether or not the user is living with others they still must practice hiding all drug related materials when not in usage in the off chance they get served a search warrant by police or someone stumbles across everything illegal. In picking the place to hide things the user must consider accessibility, and conspicuousness. Hide different items in different places, plain site can be good if their’s a false bottom or cranny that people do not see or touch. Possibly in a backyard shed, inside of an object in the shed, or buried if the ground is dirt depending on the item. Thought just needs to be put forth. Frequently used items should receive new spots two times a month to increase the odds of not getting caught. Consider if people would find what you are trying to hide as if they knew, and attempted to thoroughly look for it.
11. LEAVE THE STASH AT HOME
After receiving it immediately take the substance into your house and store it. Do not roam around town with drugs you could easily get caught if a cop pulled you over and suspected you were high. Leave drugs well hidden at home! Simple.
Set money aside from your checks every week to pay for your fix. Be secret about what you make and where it goes. Act like it bothers you if people come asking. If others live in the house keep your paper money hidden until the dealer can meet you. Budget yourself properly in everyday life to compensate what you spend on the substance.
13. 2ND CELLPHONE
A user should invest in a prepaid cellphone or a wifi calling app like Textnow. they are fairly cheap and it’s great to cover up tracks. User’s should only use this phone for setting up deals and they should not add numbers of dealers into it. They should memorize them or write bits of them in different places. The user should keep this phone well hidden and usually turned off.
Using the drug in moderation calculate how much you can smoke a day according to your budget and health. Going overboard with it may lead to the user not getting high on what amount did it before which causes more and more being smoked as they go on. The user will find this takes a great deal of discipline. Starting off small and very slowly go up.
Rationlizing is key to making decisions in this lifestyle. Decisions could cause or prevent harm. Trying to keep a clear thinking head could be the biggest battle of all for a user. Meth is known to easily change ambitions and ways of thinking.
In the event that the user decides they’ve had enough of the drug or an event happened that provokes quitting they will need to be able to come down from the life peacefully if the user has enough discipline to follow all these tips and not get caught and keep a decent health. They certainly have enough to quit. Preparation is still needed to do this. What is recommended is that the user pick a stop day and request a week long vacation at their work. Stop on the stop day and sleep most of the week off that they got off from work also destroy any paraphernalia. At the end of the detox week they will be mostly back to normal but still crave the drug but discipline enough to know they decided to stop and not go back. Now the user must
My mother confessed to me that at the age of nine or so, she was addicted to fairy stories. You could buy little paper books of them for a penny, she said, and she bought a whole stack and buried herself in them avidly. and her father caught her reading them. He not only took them away. He burned them. Ceremonially, with disgust and loathing. They were not true, he said, not real, and were therefore harming her mind. And he forbade her ever to read such things. So she didn’t. For the rest of her life […]
This grandfather of mine died long before I was born, or I would have had a few things to say to him. Among the first things I would have said is that his belief (which I call the Don Quixote Fallacy) - that reading things that are not true damages your mind - was held by far too many people in the firs half of this century, and I do not think this is unconnected with teh fact that we had two world wars during that time. Certainly my impression is that this burning of books has caused my mother to be one of the most unhappy and maladjusted people I know. And it does bring you hard up against the responsibility adults have, if only because it shows what a truly lasting impression can be made on a child.
But this Don Quixote Fallacy is not dead. It is alive and well and living in Britain. Recently I was reading for the Whitbread Prize and I came upon no less than five books purveying this notion in an even more advanced form than my grandfather’s. In the face of it they were “child with a problem” books. There was this young person who was the wrong colour, or disabled, or with divorcing parents and so on, and each of these kids tried to offset their troubles by imagining some vivid, or better or more exciting life. This was usually a world in which they had splendid adventures. Then, halfway through the book it became clear that the child who had invented this world was not able to tell which bit of life was physically real and which was only in his or her mind. In other words, imagining things had driven this young person mad.
This struck me as such an appalling, irresponsible threat to hold over impressionable people that I tried to find out who these writers were. Two of them seemed to be teachers who were annoyed that their pupils were addicted to computer games and the rest were social workers who seemed to be equating fantasy with drug-abuse, Possibly none of them were quite aware of what they were saying. But the fact is that be making this threat - imagination drives you mad - they were closing off for their impressionable readers their most important route to sanity. The source of their threat seems to lie in a grand combination of all the mistakes I have mentioned so far: the beliefs that the only reality is dull and unpleasant, that young people must be prepared to confront this and this only, and that the way to do this is to close down the imagination. To these, they have added a further error: that what a person has in his or her head does not exist in everyday life.
Diana Wynne Jones on the importance of imagination in the young, A Whirlwind Tour of Australia.
Top Philadelphia officials are advocating that the city become the first in the U.S. to open a supervised injection site, where people suffering from heroin or opioid addiction could use the drugs under medical supervision.
But the controversial proposal aimed at addressing the city’s deadly drug crisis must first overcome resistance from top city police officials, community residents and the federal government.
It’s a divisive idea: People bring their own drugs to shoot up under the watch of medical staff, in a facility that provides clean needles and other equipment. Advocates say the goal is to provide a bridge to treatment.
There are about 90 such official facilities around the world. Though some U.S. cities — including Seattle, San Francisco and Denver — are talking about establishing this sort of city-sponsored site, there are none in the United States, so far.
Philadelphia may be unusually well-positioned to be the first; its opioid crisis is mostly concentrated in one neighborhood, where some of the purest, cheapest and most deadly heroin in the nation can be purchased.
The city’s new district attorney, Larry Krasner, has promised he would not prosecute users at the safe-injection site.
who was captured and forced to be a prisoner in a foreign place.
who had no idea what the hell he was doing, spent his days locked up trying to recreate a drug that he had never created in the first place.
a drug that his father, who he probably didn’t even get a chance to grieve, made for him.
do you think he ever felt guilty that the drug originated as a way to protect him and conceal his power?? bc i do. his father made a mistake and instead gave him a death sentence. kuwei knew no matter what he did it wouldn’t be a happy ending.
if he succeeded making the drug he would be expendable, but also people were dying bc of it and many more would if he replicated it. the amount of stress this knowledge must have caused him omg.
he stalled as long as he could and pretty much accepted that someone would eventually come to kill him.
he didn’t even flinch when nina looked like she was going to do it. and that’s heartbreaking. imagine him sitting there with his journals just waiting for death bc he didn’t know what else to do.
he delivered one of the saddest lines in CK when he was asked what he was good at and he replied “i never had a chance to find out.” bc think about it…this teenager probably had no idea who he was yet and thought he’d never live to see the day he’d find out. not even when those murder nerds swooped in and saved him.
they probably seemed so…different from him?? sure they were around his age but each of them had a strong sense of identity and they had each other, and that was way more than he had. imagine him trying to piece bits of himself together based on who they were
and he still didn’t know if he could trust them, but once again he had no choice but to??? his fate was in someone else’s hands again. bc they were just kids too so why couldn’t be tough like kaz, smart like wylan, etc etc.
also think about how he could hardly understand them and they weren’t even always on the same page as each other, yet he had to depend on them wow???
plus his crush on jesper might have been him discovering his sexuality. we don’t know?? imagine the whirlwind it must’ve been for him to finally feel safe to figure himself out and develop attachment to things
drawing, boys, pranks, whatever idk
he just wanted to be free and validated and get a ship to ravka.
and he knew something could go wrong and he could be handed over to someone else and forced to make parem, so when he saw that window of opportunity to finally kiss the cute sharpshooter, he took it!!
it was his one shot!!! and that was i c o n i c
nina’s perspective captured him perfectly. “a boy not much younger than she was, caught up in a war he hadn’t chosen for himself. a survivor.”
she and matthias determined kuwei was just a kid and one of them and y’all still leave him out………okay.
Summary: The world of magic is divided into dark and light, witches and warlocks, choice and fate. You’re a prodigy of light, a witch who works within the police force. You’ve heard of Taehyung in passing, spoken in whispers as the warlock of dark who has the world holding it’s breath. All this changes on the night you’re assigned as security for a mysterious singer named V and you come face to face with Taehyung himself. What happens after that might be fate.
There are now nearly 70 claims that he has repeated three or more times. Indeed, he crossed the 2,000 threshold during his one-hour discussion on Jan. 9 with lawmakers about immigration, tossing out some of his old favorites about the subject:
“We can build the wall in one year and we can build it for much less money than what they’re talking about.”
In the diversity visa lottery, “what’s in their hand are the worst of the worst but they put people in that they don’t want into a lottery and the United States takes those people.”
“We have tremendous numbers of people and drugs pouring into our country. So in order to secure [the border] we need a wall.”
Individuals apply for the visa system, and must have at least a high school diploma or work in specific industries to be eligible for the program. As the term “lottery” implies, applicants are selected via a randomized computer drawing. The selected applicants undergo a background check before entering the country, and some applicants undergo an additional in-depth review if they are considered a security risk.
Trump’s claim about drug smuggling and the wall has been repeated 17 times, even though we awarded him Four Pinocchios. In just two months, he’s falsely described the diversity lottery 12 times. And of course building the wall was a signature issue from the beginning of his presidential campaign, when he consistently low balled the cost.
All right, fuckers. Lets talk about Rat Queens, the comic so amazing I breezed through all three volumes in a day and a half and then almost cried because there was no more to read
For decades, the fantasy genre has had that moniker not just because it dealt with fantastical things like dragons, magic, elves, and other such things, but because it was also a genre where men’s chauvinistic fantasies ran wild, where women were often little more than helpless damsels in need of being rescued, and even the ones who weren’t were dressed up as objects of male fantasy, wearing armor that made no sense, which served no practical purpose. It was all about the male gaze, it dominated the genre for a very long time.
In recent years there has been an effort to overthrow that long standing norm. Many have pushed back (such as the pathetic “Puppy” movement at the Hugo awards recently, a group of voters who banded together specifically to get works that were pro-women, pro-poc, and pro-lgbtq+ to lose) and the result has been a renaissance of the genre, with projects that are inclusive of all genders, sexual identities, and races. Recently these previously ignored or demeaned groups have come to the forefront, leading several titles in the genre.
One of those title is Rat Queens, a comic about an all-female team of adventurers living and adventuring in a D&D style world.
Note: I read all three volumes, so there are some teeny spoilers, but I avoided anything really big. And most of it is character stuff and not plot stuff.
The Rat Queens are violent and magically inclined badasses, but they’re also introverts, nerds, hipsters, stoners, and emotional fuck up. Despite the fact that they use swords and magic to take down monsters in a fantasy world, they’re real.
They also obliterate the idea of what a sexy female fantasy character is. They have wide hips and big thighs, flat chests and real boobs that are sometimes floppy. Their tummies roll when they bend over. These aren’t four female fantasy characters with the same unrealistic, typically sexy body. Their bodies are all very different, and they’re all very sexy.
Hanna would probably be considered the leader of the group, if the Rat Queens really had a leader. She’s a half-elven demon who desperately tries to had that latter part. She’s also a skilled magic user, relying more on her spells than her blades in a fight. She’s a loud mouth, surly, combative, and wonderfully vulgar.
She’s also in an incredibly complicated relationship with the head of the city’s guard, Sawyer.
Her story and backstory really does seem to anchor most of the story, but I really think that’s just because the story is unfortunately finished. We were definitely getting foundation to really explore the other characters’ stories in more depth, but stuff behind the scenes caused the series to be put on hold indefinitely, so they never got to the point of digging into the other characters like they did Hannah. (I’ll talk about the behind-the-scenes drama at the end of the post).
Dee is an incredibly powerful cleric who just happens to not believe in the deity that grants her powers. She was raised in a cult that worshiped an ancient god and she learned her powerful magic there, but she had doubts that led to her leaving home to figure things out on her own.
She’s also a nerd and an introvert who prefers a book to most people. She struggles with how much she misses her family, and the pain of leaving behind her parents, her siblings, and her husband while also struggling with her faith.
Like Hannah, she also favors magic in a fight, but where she really comes in handy is with her curiosity and her fondness for research. One of the things that I really like about Dee is how not sexual her character is. Not because the sexuality displayed by the other characters is bad (quite the contrary) but because every woman is different when it comes to their sexual appetite and their enjoyment of sex, and it’s wonderful to see a character for whom sex and romantic relationships is not a major part of their arc.
Violet is a hipster dwarf who loves stabbing things with her sword. As long as too many other people don’t start loving it, too. Whereas Dee and Hannah use powerful magic in fights, Violet charges in pointy end first, looking to cut apart as many baddies as possible.
She’s also a huge dork who tries so hard at being badass that it almost negates her actually badassery at times. She’s very, very much a hipster, who left her life with the dwarves and shaved off her beard because she felt stifled by her culture, and then grew the beard back when she saw that other dwarven women were shaving their beards, too.
She also really likes sex. While Hannah and Betty are definitely sex-positive and definitely have sex during the course of the story, I think Violet is probably shown to be the most sex-positive and most sexually active. Her boyfriend is an Orc named Dave (or “Orc Dave”, as he’s a member of a group of adventurers called “The Four Daves”) and she is not subtle about the fact that she wants him, and she is not shy about sharing the facts of their sex life once she has him.
Finally, there’s Betty, the cutest little smidgen ever (from the art, I’m guessing “smidgen” is equivalent to gnome). Betty likes drinking, fighting, candy, drugs, and girls. And, specifically, one girl.
Betty’s got it bad for a chick named Faeyri, but Faeyri’s not crazy about Betty’s friends, especially Hannah, who can get pretty combative when drinking. In between all the fighting, the adventuring, and the magic, we get a sweet little love story that actually presents a relationship with very real and honest problems.
While Betty loves to get stabby, and while her small size often serves as an advantage in battle, her greatest contribution to the group might be her skills as a thief and her ability to read people. She can look at any place and figure out how to get her teeny tiny form into it in the most covert way, and she can look at any person and read them look a book.
But no matter how clever she is, she’s still a huge weirdo who loves candy, drugs, and her friends.
The women of Rat Queens are all so different in so many respects, and they’re all so flawed and real. The series is hysterically funny, full of so much heart, and a must read for any fantasy fan who loves well written female characters. This fast became one of my vert, very favorite comics of all time.
Unfortunately there are only three collected volumes + one issue. The original artist was arrested for domestic abuse, and though he ultimately wasn’t charged, he was not brought back to continue as the series’ artist. They did find a new artist for what would be the third volume, but ultimately, according to the series’ writer Kurtis Wiebe, they didn’t really mesh, and now the comic is on hiatus indefinitely. From searching around the internet it looks like the plan is to eventually continue it as a web comic, but Wiebe is currently writing the new series Bounty (which is another great female-led comic, this time taking on the also-until-recently male dominated genre of sci-fi. I’ve only read the first issue but I adored it, and I can’t wait for the TP to come out, which will happen the day after my birthday), so I’m not sure when it’s actually going to happen.
While it’s definitely a bummer that the story just kind of… stops, and we don’t know for sure when it will continue, you have to read Rat Queens if you have any kind of appreciation for stories led by strong female characters, and especially if you’ve been disappointed by other fantasy stories, and especially if that disappointment largely came from the misogyny, lack of diversity, and homophobia in the writing. I’m getting emotional from how much I love Rat Queens, that’s how good this series is.
Look, I know it's not the "healthiest" solution, but when I feel a meltdown coming on, having a little booze is the best way I've found to calm down and avert it.
We're gonna treat meltdowns in kids by prescribing hard-core anti-psychotics (and just ignore that the fact that it making them stoned out their minds is probably the main factor in meltdown reduction).
Y'all gotta stop making my self-medication look reasonable.
(just to stress, anti-psychotics are actually really helpful tools for many people, this is only a joke about their misuse when it comes to autism and the lax measures applied to autism research, not an anti-drug stance)
I see Nick (Cave) in the back of a carload of scummy people. He looks at me through the window and waves weakly. Someone tells me that he went with those people because they have drugs or something. So okay, I’ve still got Blixa (Bargeld) who is now drunk. We get into the car and we are going fast, back to LA. The girl is looking bad and driving poorly. I ask her what the matter is. She’s on heroin. Great. Blixa sees an oil pump and touches the window and says, “Umm nice.” Then he says he has to take a piss right now, pull over. The girl says that she will when it looks good to do so. Blixa says that he is a human organism and he must urinate now and calls her a bitch. He grabs the steering wheel and shoves it hard. The car lurches over two lanes. Cars beep and hit their brakes all around us. I ask him what his fucking problem is. Blixa says, “What is the matter? It is not you that would have been killed!” He says that he is going to take the piss now and opens the door to get out. Whoops. The car is going about 60 mph. I grab him and pin him to the seat until we pull into a gas station. He says nothing the rest of the way.
HENRY ROLLINS, in a 1984 journal entry, recounting a day spent looking after The Bad Seeds. From the book Get In The Van.
Pairing: NCT U Ten (Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul) x Gender Neutral Reader
Warnings: minor references to drugs, smoking and sex. Literally. They are mentioned once.
OK, so I asked @chittafont for inspiration for a Ten fic because I really wanted to write for him, and she suggested biker Ten, and this is what I came up with. (Hi, yes, ‘tis me, the anon.) Anyway, this is a kinda bad boy but not really, neighbour Ten au. Though…it doesn’t really have much of that either….
It is shorter than usual, a drabble more than anything really, but a part two could be possible if people like this
”I just have this wonderful image of Bob getting so fucking fed up with how the media treats Jack. Acting like they’re somehow entitled to Jack’s life, to Jack in general, scrutinizing everything, constantly bringing up his overdose like they know anything about it. So here’s how I see everything going down.
(this ended up a lot longer than I planned.)
Jack and Bitty have been out for a little while, and the press is, of course, being dicks because when aren’t they when it comes to Jack
Bob is fucking furious. Jack is finally happy and in a good place and the press is still going after him like he murdered someone
And he just does not understand why he himself is so glorified??? Jack almost died on his watch??? why are they all acting like Jack is a disappointment??? Jack literally almost died????
So Bob resolves to set the record straight. He talks to Jack first, of course, to ask him how much he’s comfortable letting Bob share.
Jack is in a good place now. A great place. So this… doesn’t scare him the way it would have a few years ago. It’s nerve-wracking, and he knows it won’t be fun, but the idea doesn’t make him shake.
Jack looks Bob right in the eye and says; “Say what happened from your point of view.”
Today I woke up feeling like I had a hangover. I’m starting my 4 day break from the ICU, after working 6 of the last 8 days. I drug myself down the stairs and starting cleaning house as I normally do on my days off. I glanced at myself in the mirror at the bottom of my stair case. Horror. My face blatantly shows the pure exhaustion that I feel, and my hair looks a complete mess. “Thank god I’m off work today and my patients won’t have to see this worn out version of myself” is my first thought.
People who aren’t nurses always tell me, “You only work three days a week? Wow! That must be great. I wish I had your schedule!” ..Only three days a week? ONLY!? I wake up at 4:30AM, shake off my fatigue, drive an hour to work, and then begin my scheduled 12 hour shift. 12 often turns into 13 hours or even more depending on the patient load and if I were able to keep up with my charting. When I’m done and finally clock out, I drive home arriving around 8PM, where I strip out of my scrubs and collapse onto the couch where I snuggle my cats and tell my husband about my day until I pass out from exhaustion. I slip upstairs to bed, to the disbelief of my husband that I could possibly be so tired, and I set my alarm and prepare for my next shift.
ONLY 36 hours a week. But does anyone who’s not a nurse know what those 36 hours consist of? Juggling all my nursing tasks for each individual patient while also trying to communicate with the doctors, pharmacists, respiratory therapists, PT, OT, social work, our aides, the patients themselves, and their families?! Yes, that’s right, I communicate with all of these people on a daily basis. I am personal coordinator for my patients. I am their voice, their advocate. I must be aware of my patients needs at all times. Room 101 is going up stairs to cath lab at 0900. 102 wants their pain medicine at 0915. 103 needs to be turned at 0930. Got it. My mental check list is a never ending dynamic that I must prioritize and rearrange constantly.
My job is scary. Always thinking, always analyzing, ALWAYS aware of my actions. I could cause a patient to lose their life if I am not critically thinking about everything that I do and every medication that I give. Is this dosage appropriate, does this patient need this medication? It is all my responsibility to keep the patient safe.
Even when I am doing everything that I can it isn’t always enough. I’ve had family members displeased that I took a little longer to answer a call light. I’m sorry that I couldn’t get you a coke right away, I was busy titrating a lifesaving medication in the room right next to yours. I have been asked by a family member if I were qualified to even be a nurse, surely I was too young for that. I have been told that I am too weak to help lift a patient when in reality I can lift more weight that I weigh. Nursing is hard. I take all these comments and offer a kind response to remain professional even though it can make me feel really small at times. Not feeling appreciated is hard when all I am trying to do is help.
I have been there when a patient said their lasts words before being intubated and never being able to come off of the vent. I have been there as a patient has taken their last breaths on the earth. I have been there when a patient has decided that their body can no longer fight, and they would like to receive comfort care. I have provided comfort care as family members are silent, with tears streaming down their faces, as I turn the lifeless body of their once resilient family member. I have been there when a doctor has told a healthy, active patient in front of their spouse that they have stage 4 cancer, and will not survive. I have stood and held my tears to remain strong for family members who have had their hearts shattered by the news that their loved ones will not be coming home again. I have sobbed on my way home from work because my heart is shattered too. I am so sorry that you have to go through these things. I am so sorry that your loved one has cancer. I am so sorry that myself and the doctors couldn’t get your loved one to wake back up after being sedated on the ventilator. Nursing is hard. I am human. I care about my patients. How could I not? My heart breaks along with my patients and their family members. Then I go home and try to pretend that I have not been broken during my shift. I don’t want to burden my husband with my sadness, and I need to pull it together so I can go back to work in the morning and do it again.
So how do I do it? How do all nurses do it? How do we manage ONLY 36 hours a week? Because nursing is beautiful. I have been there as a scared patient on a ventilator has woken up so I held her hand and told her that everything would be okay. She could not speak as she had a lifesaving breathing tube down her throat. Somehow she managed to grasp a pen with her weak hands and wrote “I love you guys.” My heart exploded with joy. I have provided comfort to someone when they were far from comfortable. I have been there when a patient has come off of a ventilator after being on it for a week, and watched as they cried and said they were so happy to be alive. I helped bring that person relief. I have bought lip gloss for an elderly patient whose son forgot to bring in her lipstick. The smile on her done up face was priceless as she put on the lip gloss to complete her look. I have made a patient genuinely happy even though she is sick and in the critical care unit. I have been there providing comfort care to a dying loved one and family members have hugged me and thanked me for being the angel that their family member needs. Nursing is beautiful. Life is beautiful. I watch lives change, I watched lives end, and I watch lives get a second chance because of the care and medicine that I have provided.
Nursing is hard. Nursing is stressful. Nursing is exhausting. It drains me both physically and mentally. I come home tired, sweaty, and defeated. Not all days are good days. Nursing is not all sunshine and rainbows. But nursing is my life. I dedicate my life to saving the lives of others. Those break through moments when a patient miraculously recovers, when a patient holds your hand and tells you how thankful that they are for you, and the moments when myself and a patient can share in a good laugh. The feeling of pride I feel when my patient came in on a ventilator but walks out at discharge, makes it all worth it. All the wonderful, precious moments are why I love nursing. The great moments are what get myself and my coworkers through the long, difficult 12 hour shifts. Thank god for fantastic coworkers. My coworkers are like my family. I know that they understand the mental turmoil that I go through after a hard day. Only nurses understand truly what nurses go through.
So the next time that you want to tell a nurse that it must be great to work ONLY 36 hours a week, please be mindful of what those 36 hours are like. Give a nurse a hug today, and be thankful that we continue to do what we do, and don’t judge us when we drink a little extra wine. If it were easy, everyone would do it.
but still smiling ICU nurse.
Is Junkie an offensive term in other parts of the world? Every now and again I get random super butt hurt comments on one of my videos because I used the word Junkie (didn’t actually say anything about them, other than stating a fact - they were yelling abuse at me) and people go absolutely apeshit and go on about how I’m treating them like dirt and I just??? WHAT lol. I assume it must just be a “cultural” difference, if you could call it that. Over here junkie just means drug addict, its just what everyone calls that particular group of people down in Dublin. Even people in my life who are currently HEEEEAAAAVY drug users (and one past heroine addict) calls them that. There’s no malice in it and its so normal here so these random YouTube commenters baffle me. Like, I’ve said in the past how once when I was walking through Belfast there were a bunch of punks yelling abuse at me. Obviously I’m not trash talking punks nor am I saying being a punk is a bad thing, that just happens to be the particular group of people who were doing the yelling, you know?😂
Regardless, people need to chiiiiill the fuck out. I don’t care if people do drugs, thats your choice. If you struggle with addiction I only have sympathy and hope you break free from that situation someday. But I absolutely take issue with literally anyone who sits on the side of the street and yells abuse at strangers and tries to intimidate them no matter what issues they may have, thats literally the only issue in this situation lmao
Norman Jayden always draws the shortest straw in Heavy Rain
Aka Heavy Rain is a dick to Norman Jayden
I know that I’m about five years too late to the party and that the
Heavy Rain fandom seems pretty much dead by now, but I just need to get off my
chest how badly Norman Jayden is treated in this game, more so than the other
three playable characters imo and why.
steroid-filled angel who punches with the power of the sun combats his pasty-ass vampire brother and his army of mutant zombies
the aztec gods of fitness want to be the gods of everything. local brit with a plan for literally everything and his bubble buddy think otherwise
teenager in a perpetual state of grouch and his friends of questionable heterosexuality hospitalize a lot of people to save his dying mom, including a pasty-ass man who can't stay dead
japanese high schooler with the power of friendship and healing must defeat hand-fetishistic serial killer david bowie by kinkshaming him to death
flamboyant white-passing japanese kid joins the italian fashion mafia in order to overthrow their flamboyant boss, to prove that drugs are bad, m'kay?
rag-tag team of prisoners and a little boy must see to it that gay priest does not destroy the universe itself in worship of a pasty-ass man
the president wants the corpse of jesus christ, and only a paraplegic, a man with steel balls, a dinosaur, a nun with a can of meat spray, and a 14yo girl wed to a 52yo man can stop him from getting it
amnesiac sailor with four testicles must solve the mystery behind his four testicles by stealing things