Penn Station, Pittsburgh, on September 7, 2017. No longer an active train station, the building is now an apartment building. Or condos. A transportation hub, architecturally nondescript, sits across the street to the left of this view, serving Amtrak passengers. Notice the people with umbrellas…in the three days I spent in Pittsburgh in the past year it’s rained in every one of them.
last night i had a dream there was like a homestuck sitcom and all i remember is karkat talking to the camera looking worried saying “gamzee hasnt eaten anything but Easy Cheese and weed brownies for the past three days” then it cut to a smug-looking gamzee who said “he thinks its been three days, its actually been three weeks” then he sprayed some Easy Cheese into his mouth
me at two in the morning:
man i should really go to bed its getting late
also me, exactly three seconds later:
sTOP!! LOOK AROUND YOU! No Ones sCreamIng At YOu! so you feel alright for TeN MINUTES! if you feEL Alright for ten mInutes, fEEL AlriGHT FOR TWenTy MINUTES! FEEl alRIGHT FOR foRTY MInuteS!! DROP IT AND SMILE!!!! WHY DONTCHA FEEL ALRIGHT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WH
Some more of those expressions! I’ve been on a bit of a lineless kick lately so that’s been…happening…
I think this is the last of them, guys! If anyone didn’t see their ask, then either tumblr ate it or it was a repeat of one I already did ^_^ Thanks for everyone who sent some, they were good practice!
Title:Can’t Fool Me Rating: Explicit Word Count:30k Status:Complete Summary:
“I hate frats,” Louis repeats for what feels like the millionth time.
“Yes, I’ve heard, once or twice or every day for the past three
years,” Liam says. His careful tone reminds Louis of how his mom always
sounds when one of his siblings is on the brink of a tantrum.
Louis glances speculatively at Liam’s frat brothers, who are still
huddled together and chatting, with the exception of the one who’s
looking in Louis’ direction. Maybe Louis shouldn’t rule out a tantrum.
While making a scene wouldn’t actually free him from fraternity nonsense
in the future, it would at least be entertaining.
AU where Louis hates fraternities and would never be
into a frat boy. And one of these things is definitely not a lie.
Author’s Note: You ever forget that you’re a fanfic writer then you write a fic so bad you remember how much of a hack you are? Yeah welcome to my fic :’D
dom!jungkook- fuckboi!jungkook- fuckbuddy relationship- dirty talk- thigh riding mention because damn even I am not immune to his thighs- inspired by Sia’s song and part of the song drabble game. You can find links to the rest of them on my masterlist
There he was with his hands up some girl’s skirt, grinding on her like he was trying to fuck her through their clothes, the fucking pig. You huff and turn to your friend who gives you an exasperated look, “___, just go and grab him by the dick and tell him he can’t fucking do that.”
“He can do whatever the fuck he wants to do, even if that is a bleach blonde bitch with a tan that makes her look like an Oompa Loompa.” That was pretty low, you admit. It wasn’t the girl’s fault that Jungkook had chosen her for the night. But seriously, there was a limit to tanning, this was just harmful to the eyes.
“No, he can’t because you’re together.” Your friend, Hwasa, sounds pretty fed up with you.
“No, we’re not. We’re just fuck buddies and we agreed that we’re not exclusive right from the start.” Why wasn’t she understanding this? You’d explained it to her a thousand times.
“I don’t care what bullshit you told each other. All I care about is what I see, and that is two idiots constantly doing all they can to piss each other off because they can’t communicate like adults.”
“What are you even talking about? Jungkook is not trying to piss me off. He’s just being himself. Which is admittedly annoying in and of itself but you know…”
“Then why did he do nothing the past three days but play video games while you were off galavanting with Jin, only to start making out with some girl the minute you make an appearance?”
“He did?” You asked surprised, only to check yourself back and shrug it off. “I don’t know, he must have just not felt like it.”
“Oh my god, save me from these two idiots.” Hwasa cries then takes you by the shoulder and starts shaking you, “He’s fucking jealous because you took Jin to meet your family and not him so he’s trying to piss you off. Why? Because he likes you. And you’re pissed off. Why? Because you like him. Now can you get that through your thick skull or do I have to beat it into you?”
Honestly, being a fic writer sucks. Like, I know I’ve joking talked to @xambedo about how if fandoms were totem poles (probably a super bad analogy, I know) fic writers would be towards the bottom. Not the very bottom, because fics are generally more relevant than AMVs (which are hella awesome and deserve way more recognition because editing videos and matching clips is hard), but certainly not towards the top either.
Some lovely things that come with being a fic writer:
Being told you’re not a “real” writer. Because it’s entirely irrelevant that fanfiction has created a new wave of writers and most are entirely self-taught. I learned more writing fics between the ages of 13-18 than I ever did in school, so much so that my Creative Writing professor in collage told me there was “nothing more he could teach me.”
Fanfiction, as a whole, has a generally negative connotation. You find any book to movie adaptation that didn’t go well at all and people say it was “written like fanfiction.” Not “bad fanfiction” just “fanfiction. Never mind that there’s so much good fanfiction (some of which being better than the actual source material).
Need to pay the bills? Want to try commissions? A patreon? Good luck!
The overall lack of response sucks. Generally speaking, even the most popular writers in fandoms struggle to get their work spread around. On a good day you can get maybe 100-300 notes on a fic (wide range, but that’s exactly how much it varies), and that depends on when you post it, how many times you reblog it yourself, and chance. A lot of people just don’t reblog fics
There are no good sites to post fics. FF.net is dysfunctional 70% of the time, AO3 is complicated to use and people are even less likely to leave comments there, and Tumblr just isn’t very welcoming to writers (I’ve been told several times that I should just move to a different platform. Jokes on you, even sites dedicated to fic writers absolutely suck. There’s no winning, only exhaustion and resignation.)
Reviews/Comments are frustrating as all heck. Either readers don’t review, they leave magnificent comments that touch your soul, or you get twelve reviews telling you to “update” despite the fact that you just did an hour ago. I promise you, fic writers watch their email like a hawk after updating, and the moment they open that first email saying they have a review and see it’s just telling them to update again, they deflate. And it’s not that people don’t have the time or don’t know what to say, they just… don’t want to.
(Sidenote: try bribing your readers sometime, just to see for yourself. If you have a consistent schedule, casually slip in that “hey, if this chapter can hit *insert number slightly higher than the average* reviews, I’ll update *insert earlier date than when you would be updating*.” Like, just try that once. I swear you’ll get least a few more reviews than normal.)
Blahblahblah, I’m whining, if you’re going to reblog this to be a snarky asshole and call fic writers entitled/greedy/etc how about you consider not doing that and maybe just let fic writers be frustrated over things. Writing is hard.
Louis is the only omega to ever make it in the cut-throat world of competitive motorcycle racing—that is, he would be if anyone actually knew about his identity. Now, his sights are set towards competing in—and winning—the European Grand Prix, the biggest and most difficult race of the entire year, so he can disappear underground for good. He’s close enough, too, until an alpha sports journalist is assigned to follow Louis’s every move as he prepares for the event of his career. Or, an AU where motorcycle racing is the biggest sport in a heavily divided world, Louis is trying to take control of his own destiny, and Harry is in for more than he bargained for.
“I don’t even know who he is, Niall! I just want to know his name or some - ”
“So why do you keep fucking blushing while talking about him!”
“You know what, fuck off! I’m gonna find him myself!”
or, The morning after his party Harry wakes up naked on his bed, and there is a Polaroid photo of a stranger right beside him. Harry wants to know who is this tiny little boy that has soft fringe and a smile from heaven. He has endless hope.
The study was to see if two strangers could live together for a month and fall in love.
“We are a new organization working to prove that love can do extraordinary things.” “You will do everything together & you are not allowed to leave the resort for the whole month.” “We want to prove that opposites attract.” Louis is allergic to peaches, Harry smells like peaches. Louis just came for the money.
It’s June 2013, and the legalization of gay marriage is the most discussed political issue in the country. As a member of parliament Louis Tomlinson has decided to do everything under his power to keep marriage between a man and a woman. Little does he know a boy with green eyes and pink lips from his past is on a mission to change his mind.
Leaflet for Over Again Inc. “In relationships, there are three types of people: those who are happy, those who are unhappy but accept it and deal, those who are unhappy and in denial.Handling this last category is our job: we are professional couple breakers.To reach our goal, we use all means necessary.”
Or the Arnacoeur AU in which Harry is scheduled to be married to Liam in 10 days and Harry’s mother hires Louis and his team to break them up.
Louis was staring at him, expecting a response, and Harry was supposed to be the one coming up with that response, and he was so not prepared, so he blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Where were you? You weren’t on the bus for a few days.” Louis raised an eyebrow. “What?” “Uh… Sorry, I just- Um, sort of noticed that maybe you weren’t on the bus since last week. Not that I watch for when you’re on the bus or anything. That would be weird. Obviously, you have your own schedule, and I have mine. I just saw that you weren’t here, so I wondered what you were doing, or if something bad happened, like you got kidnapped or something. God, that sounded creepy. I promise I’m not threatening your life or something. Jesus, just stop me. If you have pepper spray, I would totally understand if you got me in the eyes right now.” Louis had his lips pressed together at this point, holding back a laugh. Harry really didn’t blame him for that.
Or, the one where Harry just really wants to talk to Louis. And when he finally does, everything he says just comes out wrong.
Harry’s one of Hollywood’s biggest actors, has made a name for himself in prestigious films and lives the life of a superstar. There’s just one thing missing to make it picture-perfect, but the one Harry’s in love with is completely out of reach for him. Enter Louis, one of Hollywood’s biggest actors himself, who just came out of the closet and taps new genres in the industry. When Louis sacks the role Harry auditioned for in Scorsese’s next big film, their irrational feud starts. Who could have guessed it would get even worse when for promo season, their teams decide to present them as a couple for publicity?
In short, Harry’s in love with someone and doesn’t care about dating anyone else, Louis never felt home in L.A., Liam writes love songs for someone he shouldn’t write love songs to, and Niall makes everything better with good food.
“I hate frats,” Louis repeats for what feels like the millionth time.“Yes, I’ve heard, once or twice or every day for the past three years,” Liam says. His careful tone reminds Louis of how his mom always sounds when one of his siblings is on the brink of a tantrum.Louis glances speculatively at Liam’s frat brothers, who are still huddled together and chatting, with the exception of the one who’s looking in Louis’ direction. Maybe Louis shouldn’t rule out a tantrum. While making a scene wouldn’t actually free him from fraternity nonsense in the future, it would at least be entertaining.
AU where Louis hates fraternities and would never be into a frat boy. And one of these things is definitely not a lie.
Louis doesn’t get out too much due to his shyness. The only two friends he has he met online and they both live miles and miles away. Then along comes a cute bartender that completely flips Louis’ life upside down.
Louis Tomlinson has just landed his dream job, coaching soccer at Augustus University. When he moves into a new house near campus, he meets his very fit new neighbor, English professor Harry Styles. Although their first meeting leads to an instant mutual dislike, the more Harry gets to know Louis, the more he likes what he sees.
Or the one where Harry’s African grey parrot spills his dirty secrets to his very hot neighbor.
Aspiring writer and all-around office gopher Harry Styles is desperately trying to establish himself as a hard-hitting journalist at the famous men’s magazine M™. When his editor-in-chief asks for a last minute volunteer, Harry jumps at the chance to write his first real assignment.Suddenly, Harry is tasked with writing a 10-day, exclusive, personal feature on roguishly handsome rising star, Football darling, and pain-in-the-arse diva Louis Tomlinson’s coming out. Harry just wants to write his story. Louis isn’t going to make it easy. Oh bloody buggering fuck.
“I hope our paths will ‘croissant’ again.” There’s a little smiley face drawn next to the words, and it’s ridiculous, Louis knows, but he can’t help the swell of butterflies that he feels as he reads over the words once more. An odd fellow indeed, he thinks.A moment later he shakes his head and collects himself, because he really does need to get home; he’s sure that Harry is probably watching him from behind the counter, all sweet, smug smiles and pink cheeks. And if he’s being honest, he’s not entirely sure he won’t toss his groceries into the trash and walk straight back into the bakery if he doesn’t leave now, so… he really does need to get going. Before he goes on his way, though, he plucks the note from the top of the container and carefully tucks it inside of his wallet to protect it from the rain.That’s how it begins.
Harry hums, staring at his hands in his lap, and Louis can still feel their smoothness, how solid they were in between his own. “Do you think it’s the same for us? Are we here only because of the likeliness of our jobs? Of our lives?” “We’re here because we have inventive managers,” Louis says, giving Harry’s leg a little nudge with his knee, but all that’s going around in his head is, I think I’d be in the same spot in every possible universe.
Or, when actor Louis Tomlinson used to daydream about dating Harry Styles, this is not what he had in mind.
They walk slow, unhurried, and they talk about everything, the earth and the glaciers and themselves, little bits and pieces. Harry finds himself falling open, caving in like the crevices that run like cold veins from the icy lakes. It feels strange to talk this way. He feels like he should be having this conversation hidden under his covers, whispering in the dark. It feels like the kind of talk that means too much, that means trust and revealing the small things that make up the bigger ones, except they’re both barely blinking an eye.
Or Harry is a WWF journalist with big dreams and Louis is a glaciologist that flies helicopters for fun. Greenland is an odd place to spend Christmas, but just maybe, the perfect place to fall headfirst into love.
“Somewhere between chaos and control — these are the wonderlands.” Harry’s daughter, Andy, is signed to Louis’ girl band. Her path to success is marked by competition, chaos, and for Harry, a love affair.