"Women who behave like that" are not rare, or at least not so rare - myself and every gay guy I know (all of whom are involved in fandoms in some way, additionally) have run into that type of person. Which isn't the worst thing in the world, and it's certainly not an excuse to harass people. But dammit, why does defense of slash always slide right into "hey, gay guys, your experiences aren't real/don't matter, mmkay?"
i dont know what you want from me, dude. i have not once, not ever, said “hey gay guys, your experiences arent real and they dont matter”
what i HAVE said is that you occasionally running into gross, cringey girls who think gay men are omg so kawaiii~!!!! does not make it okay to hate, harass and belittle every female person that likes yaoi. it means you call out THE INDIVIDUAL for the inappropriate thing they said or did and if you dont have concrete evidence of someone doing or saying some nasty shit, dont accuse them of it.
ive made my stance on this pretty goddamn clear, please dont make me repeat myself