these last words

this happened a good while ago so apologies if details are sketchy

We were playing Mines of Phandelver returning from clearing the orc infestation, in the middle of travel the DM places us into a scene as we walk through the forest. The rest of the players are nervous about this and say we should move carefully.

Me: Don’t worry I’m a barbarian with danger sense I’ll go ahead, I can take any attack they might hit me with anyways

I notice the DM nodding his head and flipping through notes in the corner of my eye

Me: I enter the clearing and swing my head around looking out for enemies

The DM starts rolling dice

nat20, nat20, 18, 19

DM starts rolling damage rolls

Me: *head in hands*

It’s finally fall! In the spirit of the season, I’ve compiled a list of 10 books that I think are great to read in the fall. Some are fantasy, others are paranormal, while others deal with darker themes. Let’s get started!

Originally posted by darkoctober

1.       The Poison Throne by  Celine Kiernan

The Poison Throne is a fantasy novel following our main character, Wynter, on her quest to stop a rebellion that could destroy the kingdom. This novel is great, as are the two follow up novels, The Crowded Shadows and The Rebel Prince. The characters are so lovable, and there are amazing family bonds. I think this is a great fall read; I find fantasy to be a good fit with the fall season, I’m not sure why, but I do. The Poison Throne is my favorite fantasy series, so I highly recommend it!

2.       Famous Last Words by Katie Alender

Famous Last Words is a YA paranormal novel. It’s about a girl named Willa who becomes caught up in the murder investigations of the Hollywood Killer, a serial killer who stages their murders to look like famous movie deaths. There are also ghosts and psychics. All in all, this is a perfect fall read to lead you into Halloween.    

3.       Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte 

Wuthering heights is probably the best fall read. There are ghosts, suspense and, I think, reading this book in the fall just helps you feel the atmosphere of the moors in which Wuthering Heights is set.

Originally posted by partofmypersonality

4.       Halloween Party by Agatha Christie 

It’s in the name, isn’t it? Surprisingly, Halloween Party has very little to do with Halloween. The story surrounds the murder of a young girl who was murdered at a Halloween party, and the days following. This is one of my favorite Hercule Poirot mysteries. It is one of the only Poirot novels that takes on a creepier tone that I think is great for the fall.  

5.       Prophecy of the Sisters by Michelle Zink 

This is a tale of twins who are destined to destroy each other in hope of stopping the apocalypse. One twin is the guardian and the other the gate to the other world. This novel is so incredibly vivid, which makes it all the more suspenseful. It is an incredible read, I’ve read it twice myself.  

6.       The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne 

When our main character, Hester Prynne, has a child out of wedlock, she refuses to name the father of her child and is forced to wear a scarlet ‘A’ on her clothing. We get glimmers of magic in the novel when the child, Pearl, is older and is said to be a fairy. Another aspect of magic in the book is much more dark. When the identity of Pearl’s father is revealed, he has an ‘A’ carved into his chest. As readers, we can assume he carved it there himself, but the book does leave the answer opened ended for the purpose of “maybe magic”.

7.       How to Hang a Witch by Adriana Mather 

It’s about a girl, Samantha Mather, who is a descendant of Cotton Mather. She moves to Salem Village and has to deal with the descendants of all the “witches” Cotton put to death. Not only that, but there is an actual witch who wants to kill all the descendants. There are moments of true terror in this book, which makes it a great lead up to Halloween.

8.       The Yellow Wallpaper by  Charlotte Perkins Gilman

The Yellow Wallpaper is a psychological thriller, a short story that will mess with your mind. It is one of my all-time favorite stories and I highly recommend it for the fall season.

Originally posted by twoquickdeaths

9.       By the Pricking of my Thumbs by Agatha Christie 

This book is in the Tommy and Tuppence series and is perfect for fall. The mystery starts when an old woman at the old age home Tommy and Tuppence are visiting, begins talking about a dead child behind the fire place. The two become engrossed in the dark history of the old woman’s town. Like Halloween Party, it is one of the creepier Agatha Christie novels.

10.   Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame Smith 

It’s Pride and Prejudice with zombies. What else is there to say? It’s spooky and perfect.

Originally posted by pirateherokillian

 And that’s it! Let me know if you’ve read any of these books and what you thought of them. I’ll be posting a Halloween Book List soon, with all the scary books!

A 50lb boot

-So in the last session, our goliath barbarian(GB; male. Man of few words) and half elf ranger(HER; male) made off with a bunch of gold from the party ‘quest’. GB got some sick enchanted boots with tremor sense but hasn’t told anyone what they do yet, including the major enchantment. We all eventually meet up again in a tavern. So, my character, a half elf sorcerer(HES; female), decides to figure it out. 

HES: So~, why’d you get metal boots? 

GB: Cuz I didn’t want to step on something sharp. 

HES: Well that’s generally what shoes do but why metal?

GB: *shrugs* I dunno, it’s how I got ‘em. 

HES: You didn’t request them that way? 

GB: Uh.. No. You want to look at them?

HES: Of course! *Frantic* Just not on the table!

GB: *Takes the boot off and tosses it at me*

GM: [HES] make a str saving throw.

HES: (aw fuck, 10? :D)

GM: So the boot lands on HES’s chest, tips the chair over and shatters it, you take 5 pts of damage. When you land on the floor, the entire inn shakes, bottles falling off the shelves, people having to grab something for support. Dust falls from the roof above. This can be felt on the upper floors.

HER: *2nd floor, in room* (Ok, I’m going to jump out the window of my room)

GM: Ok, you do so and you fall.. You keep falling till you make a splash into the ocean at the foot of the cliff you just jumped off of.

HES: (Well, guess who’s going to be more specific next time ;D) *currently in immense pain on the bottom floor cuz she only has 3hp left*

anonymous asked:

"why does everything have to be about race" isn't the best thing to say in regards to representation in the media. no shade, just letting you know its kind of condescending

well i mean if u look at the media today it’s pretty apparent that they make a lot things about race to push their propaganda- I was mostly referring to that

Player: i run into the middle of the camp and yell “does anyone here know greg!”

Dm: im sorry….you what

Player: i just ran into the middle of the camp and asked if they know the guy im looking for, greg

Dm:……….whats your armor class

Player: oh wait were these the bad guys

Dm:……….surprisingly enough, the dudes at the end of the poison covered trail were bad guys, yes.

3

Charades feat. the Ipliers

…is fun. And wacky. And dangerous. Especially dangerous.

(I don’t even know where this came from, but I just thought that WIlford would be the only guy who would straight up insult Dark in the face lol. And so, why not? Here you go! Hope you all like it :D)

Context: I’m a new DM playing with a small group of veteran D&Ders (consisting of a high-elf Ranger, a Dragonborn warrior and literal cat? cleric), and they suggested that we do a small series of one-offs to get me used to being a DM. We’re in our third one, which is based off the C'thulhu mythos, and they’re about to face off with Nyarlathotep when this happens.

Me: Okay, you find your way to Nyarlathotep’s chapel and as you enter, you hear his voice in your head saying, “Ah, my sacrifices have arrived.”

Ranger: What does he look like?

Me: Knowledge check that.

Ranger: *rolls an 18*

Me: You remember he is described as a tall, swarthy, sinister man, looking as if he had just walked out of Egypt. Dark skin, dark eyes, well built; he looks like a Pharaoh that walked straight out of the past.

Warrior: I roll to seduce!

Me: Excuse me?

Warrior: I roll to seduce the handsome Egyptian-Eldritch god.

Me: … I don’t even know why I’m allowing this but okay.

Warrior: *rolls a nat20*

I’m just staring in disbelief at this point, and everyone else is laughing.

Me: Okay, fine. Nyarlethotep pauses and considers, then grabs you and stuffs a tentacle down your throat and into your stomach, placing something, probably an egg of some sort, there before tossing you back down. Congratulations, you are now pregnant with the Dunwich horror. In about a month, it’ll eat through your stomach and probably you before bringing chaos upon the world.

Now its his turn to stare, and I’m just like, “What?”

Cleric(OOC): Wait, what? His character’s a dude!

Me: The forces of chaos care nothing about your insignificant human gender binary.