these kids are ruining my life

anonymous asked:

♥ ♥ ♥


@moldedhearts   —-  holly is??  my actual soulmate??  the luke danes to my lorelai gilmore??  honestly the best friend in the entire universe??  wow i can’t even believe.  like,  we have the same birthday,  how mORE suited for being soulmates could we be?  anyway,  in the last year we’ve become masters at torturing our kids + everyone who follows us and loves our kids.  we’ve become masters at verse crafting.  we’ve become masters at overanalyzing every scene of gilmore girls for more reasons to cry about our children.  and we have so many other pairings to ruin the world with now???  i fuckin love it.  honestly,  as i said yesterday,  if you’re following me and not holly,  i don’t know what you’re doing with your life??  

@grcwingstrcng   —-   nic!!  my wife!!  i!!!  fuckin love nic more than words can express.  how many next-to-impossible days this year has nic helped me through?  more than i can count.  most of them,  tbh,  and i know i’d be much worse off without her.  honestly,  an actual angel.  so perfect at capturing each muse she attempts??  i love her so very much,  and i literally can’t imagine my life without nic <3 pls love on nic.

@moviiingforward  —-  katie my love  <3  we initially bonded over our mutual adoration of emily prentiss and our friendship has only grown since.  just??  katie is so kind,  and wonderful,  and talented.  a+++ writer,  a+++ human being.  i love crying about the pearsons,  and the gilmores,  and all of our precious painful families with her?  another person with actual angel status.  i love katie,  you should all love katie as well <3

one time i stole a joke from the previous night’s episode of the backyardigans in third grade and some other kid fucking caught me and he was all “oh so you still watch the backyardigans huh.” it ruined my life and but the thing is how the fuck did he know without also having seen the previous episode of the backyardigans? i will forever regret not calling him out on his hypocrisy and i hope that kid is in jail now

Stuff My Dad Said During Hamilton (Act 2)
  • What'd I Miss: This guy sounds like a pompous asshole.
  • Cabinet Battle #1: That's that line you like. The shoe fitting one. You've said that too much...
  • Take A Break: Where's the third sister? Did she die? Is she okay?
  • Say No To This: ...damn...just...damn...
  • The Room Where It Happens: I want to feel bad for Burr but he's reminding me of those 'try too hard' kids. Like you.
  • Schuyler Defeated: I knew he was gonna turn into a huge dick.
  • Cabinet Battle #2: He sounds like you did in kindergarten. "He was my friend first!" I think you said that word for word.
  • Washington On Your Side: LANGUAGE!
  • One Last Time: If only he had known what was going to happen to our country...
  • I Know Him: And here comes the other George.
  • The Adams Administration: Spiteful little dude...
  • We Know: Snitches get stitches.
  • Hurricane: This guy's life kinda sucks...
  • The Reynolds Pamphlet: No one ruining your life? Don't worry! Ruin your own...apparently.
  • Burn: If only she had actually burned him. Like. Revenge bitch.
  • Blow Us All Away: Oh yeah mini Hamiltons.
  • Stay Alive (Reprise): Does...Does everyone die? (Me: Eventually) Okay there's no need for smart ass comments.
  • It's Quiet Uptown: I'm now in like...a state of hurt and anger
  • Election Of 1800: That first note actually scared me...
  • Your Obedient Servant: Hamilton's disrespect? Doesn't Burr call his mom a whore every five songs?
  • Best Of Wives And Best Of Women: I've never been more emotionally hurt by a musical...
  • The World Was Wide Enough: Ah yes. I shall call this Act, "Stab You In The Heart Repeatedly".
  • Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: ...who the fuck is telling Peggy's story?

not a day goes by that i don’t think about the fact that richard campbell “dick” gansey the third has a dimple on his cheek, quite possibly both cheeks, and that we were without that knowledge until trk, specifically the toga party scene. do u know what this means ? this means that every single time dickie dick 3 has smiled, hes had a dimple. Every Single Time. do u know how many times this boy smiles every scene? at least 10 times a scene. Mr. Smilepants has dimples and we didn’t know it until trk. we were deprived of this information for 3 and a half books. that’s a long time to be deprived of such vital, earth shattering information

bioware fans right now are being So Wild you have one half literally conducting  a witch hunt against some random person and sending death threats to the developers and then you have another half going “uwu remember guys its toxic to criticise a game ;3; dont say anything bad about andromeda!!”

  • Aries: “Sometimes, when you intensely dislike a person due to something, you just have to take comfort in the fact that, one day, they will be dead.”
  • Taurus: “It's so important to know you should be happy and proud of who you are.”
  • Gemini: "My only regrets are the moments when i doubted myself and took the safe route. Life is too short to waste time being unhappy."
  • Cancer: "I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want to do is be with someone."
  • Leo: "You know, people ask me. They say 'Dan, three years later do you really want to be drawing cat whiskers on your face?' but they don't understand. The cat whiskers, they come from within."
  • Virgo: "I'm the living embodiment of 'it could be worse'."
  • Libra: "That’s why I’m here, I’m here for two reasons. To entertain you with stories of my life so , you know, you can find them entertaining. But then maybe compare them to your own lives and not feel so alone with the issues that you go with, go through..."
  • Scorpio: "And the other half of it is me kind of like articulating my own profound observations on the universe, which is really just an excuse to give myself a therapy. Apparently other people enjoy watching it too."
  • Sagittarius: "Actually believe in your potential. You spend all day and all night daydreaming and sometimes talking to yourself... out loud, which people can see by the way so maybe consider stopping that, about all the things you wish you could be and do, but instead you doubt yourself and say its impossible."
  • Capricorn: "This happens all the time with sports results, but — I shit you not — I once got a notification from the BBC News app saying that a character in a show I was watching had just died! I thought that news notifications are supposed to be for impending natural disasters, not for just ruining my bloody afternoon."
  • Aquarius: "You can't expect a kid to be smart enough to realize they can do what they want with their life before they've been pushed through the school system into having an average life.”
  • Pisces: "To me, the meaning of life is to be happy, it's to achieve happiness right now. It's to make sure you're happy in the future and that generally when you look back on your life you're like; yes, that was satisfactory."
  • Gruff men who get all soft and happy when they’re with you 
  • Big men with calloused hands who touch you like you’re something incredibly special 
  • Grumpy men who chuckle at your bad jokes 
  • Calm men who get protective and irrational and then pretend like they didn’t
  • Stoic men who look at you with gentle smiles on their face when you’re not looking at them with an expression that sort of says “I can’t believe she’s with me." 
nochu unsolved (m)

Pairing:  Jungkook x Reader
Genre: boyfriend!jungkook , smut, comedy, fluff
Warnings: thigh riding, dry humping, panty fetish, creampie, graveyard sex, mention of past emo Jungkook lmao
Word Count:  8k+
Summary:  cryptid hunting with your boyfriend doesn’t go quite as planned…

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the signs as 'life on the murder scene' moments

aries: “better stay on that side of the street, motherfucker. i’ll knock you out.”

taurus: frank trying to take a shower by the fence on warped tour

gemini: their adoration for new jersey/anytime they mention something about how grimy it is

cancer: ray putting his hand in a cupcake during a serious talk and thinking it’s hilarious

leo: the kickball game - “easy peasy pumpkin peasy. pumpkin pie, motherfucker!”

virgo: mikey straightening his hair on the bus and complaining about being recorded

libra: “i’m sick of seeing my face but i’m allowed to be sick of seeing my face because it’s my fucking face”

scorpio: almost drowning on the ghost of you set - “when my balls got wet, that’s when i got scared”

sagittarius: the band forgetting ray at the truck stop and driving away

capricorn: when they sell 11,000 records and mikey says his mom probably bought 10,999 of them

aquarius: gerard getting kicked out of his old band for not knowing how to play sweet home alabama on guitar

pisces: gerard reminiscing about playing peter pan as a kid - “everything i had built, i had ruined”

A Drunk Inquisitor's Apology to the Creatures of the Hinterlands:

Dear sweet, stupid rams,
Im sorry for massacring u guys to feed hungry villagers and make myself a nice coat. I look very good in the coat tho so thanks

Dear demonic wolves,
I’m v sorry u got possessed. That sucks

Dear Ferelden Frostback,
I am sorry 4 walking into ur den and murdering u for ur pretty bones, scales, and All The Glory. U were just chillin and living ur dragon life and I kinda ruined that and killed ur kids :/
PS: Bull is a little sorry for the dirty thing he yelled at u before u died

Dear bears,
Fuck you. I was minding my own business and eight of u fucking ganged up n tried to eat my face. It was rude as hell. Ur all a bunch of hairy assholes I sttm. Heck off

The Inquisitor

voltron paladins fannon vs cannon

fannon lance: SHAKIRA IS MY QUEEN and i can’t go five minutes without speaking in spanish or talking about skin care

canon lance: *is smart and great with on the spot strategy* *saved slav with his incredible sniping skills* “You ever notice how far the planets are from each other, Coran?”

fannon keith: MAN i’m just SO GAY and EMO have you heard the news MOTHMAN is my HUSBAND and the moon landing was faKED

canon keith: “I AM YOUR PALADIN!” *literally runs headfirst into everything and hardly thinks before he acts* i don’t think this kid could get any more awkward

fannon pidge: i’m a horrible gremlin who can ruin your entire life with nothing but my cellphone and outdated memes

cannon pidge: *bulit a set of equipment capable of picking up frequencies as far as a moon of pluto* she is willing to do whatever it takes to find her family and she is really going through so much pain right now

fannon shiro: man i’m just so soft i could never genuinely get mad at my team they are so important to me they are my space kids and i am their space daddy

cannon shiro: *flips out on slav like six times* *continuously makes jokes while he thinks he’s going to die* “Blam, blam, blam!”

fannon hunk: i just ;; love food so much;;; it’s like beautiful art made for your taste buds and it is the only thing i ever think about

cannon hunk: this boy would not rest until he saved shay and her people and he fucking gordon ramsay’d his way out of restaurant slavery


screenshot redraws

episode 9 was all i needed in life \click for better quality

Jim Kirk has always gotten compliments on two things- his blonde hair and his blue eyes. People don’t understand how he keeps his hair that gold or his eyes that blue and they find it fascinating and hot and pretty. Throughout his life he’s gotten “oh, your hair is like gold!” “Oh, your eyes are like sapphires!” “Oh, your so beautiful!”
But one day, a few weeks after they start dating, Spock says “you are quite aesthetically pleasing Jim. Your hair is the same color as grain, your eyes like water.”
At first, Jim doesn’t get it. But then Spock explains-
As a child on Vulcan, while his family was well off there was always the threat of drought, and he’d been raised to appriciate every natural resource he had. Jim’s hair is the same color as a now extinct Vulcan grain that was used to make kreyla, it’s seeds were mashed and used as seasoning in plomeek soup. His eyes? Clean water was so hard to come by as a kid- finding water that color on Vulcan was a precious gift. These things are much more valuable to Spock than gold and sapphires. (Besides, Jim may be golden like sol, but T'Knut had been red)
And Jim is so touched and in love that for the rest of his life he’s completely ruined from all the other compliments. The next time someone compares his looks to gold and sapphire, he grins and says “nah. Their not that pretty. Just wheat and water, you know?”