these hors

me, begging this incurably obtuse garbage conglomerate of a website on bended fucking knee with tears streaming down my face: please for the love of god consider that ur tendency to subconsciously categorize lesbians as being uniquely prone to meanness and oversensitivity might be partially because u are trained, socially, to see us as shrieking unfeminine caricatures rather than full fledged people with complex emotional lives 

a rando, stumbling across my humble post with their eyes blissfully closed to the vast and terrifying world of context-appropriateness: but what about my great-uncle’s nephew’s brother-in-law’s first cousins “roommate” from her time at vassar, who showed up at our family reunion wreathed in foul black smoke and shorn of hair and spent the evening spitting poison onto the hors d’oeuvres and calling my great great grand-papá a cuck

2

You cannot tell me that Guzma wouldn’t do this.
He is the bug smoocher and he will smooch every bug.

Alternate title; Golisopod is a whiny baby.

On love: Agape

Ok, first of all, I don’t know any Latin - this translation of the lyrics was done by @littlechubbyyuuri​ that I found here

I’d been looking for the lyrics + translation for quite a while, so I was really happy when I finally found them. I thought it would give me some major insight into Yuri’s character, since lyrics in YoI never seem to be picked at random.

But after reading the translation I was a little … huh? That’s not Yuri. 

So I kept turning it back and forth in my mind until suddenly a thought snuck up on me.

Wasn’t Agape going to be Viktor’s short program? Same as Eros? 

So, what if Agape isn’t about Yuri, but about Viktor?

I’ll show you what I mean in a second - let’s go over the lyrics in hors d’oevre-sized morsels:

Keep reading

  • Warning: OOC to the max. This is actually a continuation of a three year old post that I had rediscovered recently.
  • ----------------------------------------
  • Sherlock: *Huffs* He won't listen to me.
  • Molly: *Gently strokes her husband's cheek* Just be patient.
  • Sherlock: I have been patient for the last ten minutes!
  • Molly: *Looks out through their open bedroom door and into the silent sitting room* Reason with him in the same way you've reasoned with him before. *Looks back at her frustrated husband* You won't be able to do that if you hide here.
  • Sherlock: *Huffs and ruffles his curls* I have explained to him. I have reasoned with him. Bargained. Bribed. Even 'begged' *Points wildly to himself* Begged! *Throws his hand in the air* Me!
  • Molly: Sherlock...
  • Sherlock: *Looks pleadingly to his wife* Please, Molly. I have a case. Lestrade has a case waiting for me. *Gestures towards the sitting room* Waiting for 'us'. You have to intervene now.
  • Molly: *Contemplates for a few seconds before nodding* Okay, I'll try. *Grabs something from the bedside table* Come on!
  • *Husband and wife both goes out of their bedroom and into their sitting room.*
  • John: *Quietly sitting in the sofa and staring at the approaching couple*
  • Molly: *Moves towards the center of the room then stops a few feet away from the sofa* Hi, John.
  • John: *Nods* Hello, Molly.
  • Molly: *Stares back at her husband before facing John and kneeling*
  • John: *Eyebrows shot up but remains quiet.*
  • Molly: *Smiles softly at John before turning back to stare at her still standing husband*
  • Sherlock: *Huffs but goes and kneels beside his wife*
  • Molly: *Whispers to her husband* Why don't you try again?
  • Sherlock: *Sighs deeply but bends closer towards the floor* I have explained to you using logical reasoning. I have bargained with a fair match. I have bribed with a rich price. And I have 'begged' with utmost sincerity. Still, you remain stub-
  • Molly: *Nudges her husband* No wonder he won't listen to you! You sound like a nagging robot. My turn. *Looks straight back before lowering herself closer to the floor* Evan, sweetheart, *she says with a sweet and gentle voice* Daddy needs his scarf back now. He and Uncle John have a case and they need to go out to catch the bad guy. But it is cold outside, so he needs his scarf. Would you please give it back to daddy?
  • Sherlock: *whispers bitterly* How is that any different from what I did?
  • Evan Hooper-Holmes, 11 month old extraordinaire who had been sitting on the floor beside his godfather's leg: *clutches his prized possession closer to his body* Nooo.
  • Molly: *Still smiling sweetly* I know you like that scarf sweetie, But Daddy needs it. He'll get sick if you don't give it to him. Do you want daddy to get sick?
  • Sherlock: *protests* I don't get sick!
  • Molly: *turns back to glare at her husband before looking again at their stubborn toddler*
  • Evan "Ain't-I-the-cutest" Holmes: *Looks at his hard-earned price before staring back to his poor daddy who is now wearing his "have-pity-on-me" face* Noooooo, ba scaffy ain!
  • Molly: *leans closer to her baby and touches the edge of the blue scarf* I know, it's your sweetheart -
  • Sherlock: *protests* It's mine!
  • Molly: *looks back again to glare at her husband*
  • Sherlock: *sags in resignation* Fine...
  • Molly: *Smiles back at her son.* I know it's yours sweetheart so maybe you can let daddy use it for now? So that he won't get sick?
  • Evan "I-have-the-British-government-wrapped-in-my-pudgy-fingers-even-if-he-denies-it" Holmes: *Looks down at his precious treasure*
  • Molly: *Sees her baby boy's resolve breaking down* Tell you what Evan, while you are lending Daddy the scarf, I'll lend to you Mommy's scarf. *offers her possession that she had snatched before exiting their bedroom*
  • Evan "I-can-make-the-girls-swoon-faster-than-my-three-continents-godfather" Holmes: *Sees the elusive but equally, if not more precious treasure, goes to throw away the blue scarf and grab the pink one* Eyyyyyy.
  • Sherlock: *Sees how easy it is for his son to discard his scarf in favor of his mom's, starts to get competitive* That *points at his discarded scarf* is a vintage Paul Smith cashmere scarf that is not produced anymore! Meanwhile, 'that' *points at the black and pink scarf now being chomped by his son* is just a home knitted scarf that your mother's spinster aunt give out every year! Spawn, you clearly still need a lesson in taste!
  • Evan "I-can-make-anything-my-division" Holmes: *Stops and stares at his father*
  • Sherlock: *stares back at his mini-me, willing him to understand how far superior his scarf is over that of Molly's*
  • Evan "genius-in-the-making" Holmes: *Giggles at his silly father before taking a bigger bite of his recent acquisition*
  • John: *Stands up from the sofa and retrieves his best-friend's discarded scarf* Come on, man! You've clearly lost this one. At least now you have your 'cashmere' scarf back *Drops the scarf on the head of the still kneeling consulting detective*
  • Molly: *Giggling at the sour look of her husband* Come on, Sherlock. At least you got it back!
  • Sherlock: *Stands up and finally loops the scarf in his neck* I don't even need this, I don't get sick anyway!
  • John: *Waiting outside the flat's door* Then why did you spend 10 minutes 'begging' to get it back?
  • Sherlock: *bends down to kiss his wife goodbye* Principles, John. Principles.
  • John: *Snorts* More like, your costume won't be complete without it.
  • Sherlock: *Moves on to ruffling his son's curls before straightening up and exiting the flat* As I said. Principles.
  • ----------------
  • Edit: As @sherlolly29 asked, this is the old story written three years ago: http://creamocrop.tumblr.com/post/78315599726/a-pair-of-aquamarine-eyes-stared-at-the-expanse-of
Kidnapped! Prompts

Anonymous said:Got any prompts about the hero being kidnapped?

Anonymous said:Your hero and villain prompts are the best thing. Could I possibly get some prompts about a captured hero who is totally crushing on the villain, who totally knows it?

Anonymous said:Could I please have some prompts for a man who is terribly in love with someone he kidnapped? 

Anonymous said:Good afternoon! Could I get a couple of prompts about the hero and villain having to work together in order to escape a much worse villain who has captured them? 

Anonymous said:Hero capturing the villain and vice Versa prompts? 


1) “Open your eyes.” The villain dragged the hero over to the window, with a vice like grip on their arm. “Open them. Let me show you how beautiful the world looks burning.”


2) “Gotta love the movies,” the villain said. “It makes so many stupid people think that dangerous means chemistry.” They shook their head, laughed. “It makes it all so easy. All you ever have to do is let people believe that they might just be your exception.” 


3) “I’m sorry, I love you.”
“You don’t kidnap people when you love them.” 
“I couldn’t let you die with the rest of them.” 


4) l“For a moment there, I thought you were going to let them have me,” the hero said weakly. “Convenient diversion for your escape, and all that.” They met the villain’s stare - close in their hiding place, bodies pressed together. The tramp of footsteps down the corridor faded away. 
“For a moment there,” the villain murmured. “So did I.”


5) “But you,” the hero laughed. “You are nothing. There are a hundred people who do it just like you and thinks hurting someone makes them god. Give it a couple of years, and despite all your efforts, nobody is even going to remember your name.” 
The villain spat in their face. 
The hero smiled grimly, and straightened, stepping back from the cell. “Enjoy rotting for what you’ve done. Your immortality’s not going to feel so good then.”


6) “You don’t understand - I’m on your side!”
“Nobody’s ever on our side.”


7) “You’ve kidnapped me to an empty restaurant?” the hero raised their brows.
The villain waved their hand and a glassy-eyed server came over to set down drinks and a plate of hors d’oeuvres.
“As if I would be so stupid as to take you to my base so you can have a look around. Isn’t that what you wanted? Besides.” A gleam entered the villain’s eyes as they speared one of the appetizers with their fork and held it across the table. “It’s almost like a date, don’t you think?”
The hero faltered. The villain looked rather too knowing when they said that. 


8) “You’re kidding me,” the villain said flatly. “We don’t have time to rescue all your little friends! Security are going to notice us missing any minute.”
“I’m not leaving without them - and you know you’re not getting anywhere without me. So you want to stand here bickering about it or try and think where your not so bosom-buddy is holding them?”


9) “Oh would you look at that,” the villain drawled. “You got me. Your plan worked. You’re probably more terrified then I am - you don’t have the slightest clue what to do with me now, do you?” 
“I’m sure I’ll figure something out.”


10) “You know, this is kind of an inconvenient time for me. Any chance we can schedule this in for tomorrow instead?”