these guys i swear to god

anonymous asked:

Charlie, I think I've instantly got a crush on you >//<

!! Who is this? If this is Ollie making fun of me I swear to god…

Out of interest when you say instantly what is it that instantly made you like me? It may surprise you but I am not known for being a cool guy😳

Charlie (who hopes this is real)

dad and i watch captain america: the winter soldier
  • dad: oh god it's starting shut up i've been waiting for this for months
  • (movie starts)
  • dad: THESE ARE THE BICEPS OF FREEDOM
  • dad: i don't know what's happening but the french guy fighting cap looks like french macklemore
  • me: how do you even know who macklemore is?
  • dad: i'm hip. i'm cool
  • me: don't you do it
  • dad: i'm gonna pop some tags, only got 20 baguettes in my pocket
  • (five minutes later)
  • dad: is that the Falcon? that's totally the Falcon
  • me: how do you know?
  • dad: i used to read the comic books trust me on this i'm an expert. his superpower was that he could talk to birds
  • me: birds?
  • dad: i mean in hindsight it probably wasn't the most useful thing ever
  • dad: if this winter soldier is supposedly a ghost in the machine that nobody's ever seen, and nobody will ever catch, you would think showing up in broad daylight and blowing up cars would not be his modus operandi
  • dad: how the heck did he laser through concrete??
  • me: idk dad it's nick fury he can probably do whatever he wants
  • dad: i'm sorry attractive nurse who just so happens to live next door, my heart belongs to a seventy year russian dude with a bionic arm
  • me: what
  • dad:
  • dad: nick fury isn't dead. justice never dies. he probably has a billion clones in some top secret storage facility, just waiting for their organ harvest.
  • me: ew dad gross no
  • dad: i really relate to that apple store employee
  • me: we all do dad
  • dad: oh that's that guy from the first movie! i remember him! he was my favorite, his eyes were so blue, and he loved steve so much. i wanted them to get together
  • me: dad good god
  • dad: he was a little less marilyn manson at that point though
  • dad: not that guyliner isn't a good look for this guy
  • dad: when a deadly russian assassin wears eyeliner, it's 'he's so dreamy' and 'wow what a badass'
  • dad: but when i do it it's 'you're too old' and 'bald guys can't pull off make-up'
  • me: dad it was halloween and it was one time you need to let this go
  • dad: so bucky barnes, aka cute cocky guy who died in the first movie, aka steve roger's best friend/boyfriend, is a top secret super scary brainwashed hydra agent?
  • me: mmm-hm
  • dad: called it
  • dad: do you think single handedly destroying jets is just a common, everyday thing for cap? punch a few tanks, feed a few pigeons, take out a plane, help old ladies cross the street...
  • dad: captain america is like your grandad minus the booze and the cussing
  • dad: in all honesty that was a little anti-climactic
  • dad: i was 100% sure nick fury was gonna descend majestically from the heavens, 'All I do is Win' blaring in the background, and single-handedly save everyone's ass
  • dad: scarjo and chris evans are two of the most beautiful people in the world and they are both in this movie and i don't know how to feel about it i have butterflies in my stomach i'm a schoolboy again
  • me: you know on second thought we should have brought mom
  • dad: where's hawkeye? where's bruce? where's tony? where's thor? WHERE ARE ALL THE OTHER AVENGERS AS THE ENTIRETY OF SHIELD IS COMPROMISED AND NICK FURY DIES
  • me: maybe they figured steve could handle it
  • dad: maybe they're all lazy assholes

mousygirlscreamsviolence  asked:

I'm curious to hear your thoughts on something I've been mulling over: Victor is, for the most part, friendly or ambivalent towards the other competitors in the GPF with one notable exception - J.J. He is uncharacteristically icy towards him, and other than J.J. being a bit obnoxious, I'm wondering what your thoughts are on why else that may be.

At the Rostelecom Cup Short Program, we do indeed see Victor being rather icy with JJ.

Just look at Victor’s face in that screencap. It’s very rare to see him react like that to anyone. 

But let’s put this into perspective of what just happened at Yuuri’s last competition in China.

Victor remembers Yuuri’s struggles at the Cup of China. He forced Yuuri not to listen to the cheering for the other competitors because of how much it got to him.

Now think about what JJ is saying to Yuuri at the Rostelecom Cup. “Hey, take those earplugs out. Did you HEAR that?? Your fellow competitor just landed a quad loop.”

Now, I don’t think JJ is doing this maliciously, but Victor isn’t going to care.

He’s going to care about how Yuuri will react to JJ drawing his attention to the success of other competitors.

JJ doesn’t catch on. He keeps going by drawing more and more attention to a jump that Yuuri can’t even do himself. (He can do a quad toe loop but not a quad loop.)

Victor shuts JJ down here. He downplays his own ability to do a jump that Yuuri can’t and discourages further conversation on the subject.

Victor’s reaction is basically: “I swear to god, if you send my boyfriend into a panic attack right now, you are going to regret the day you were born.”

every vine compilation ever

- “there’s only one thing worse than a rapist…boom.” “a child?” “NO”

- “i got u frankincense.” “thank you.” “and i brought you myrrh.” “thank you.” “myrr-DUR” *gasp* “judas! nooo…”

- that one video of the girl with the sun glasses dancing to the beginning of take on me

- “this bitch empty…YEET”

- “do you have any ice?” “no i do not, i just have freezable fruit shapes.” “why?” *shakes glass* “just because…”

- the one of the lobster riding a skateboard to a kazoo cover of the final countdown

- “how much money have you got?” “69 cents.” “oh you know what that means!” “…i don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets.”

- any vine of that guy swearing about British traffic 

- the one of the dog dancing to Africa by toto

- “i’m just cooking pizza.” THWACK “I WASN’T READY!”

- “and they were roommates.” “oh my god, they were roommates.”

- the one with the person with the paper bag over their head dancing to the YMCA

- “and i realize, i left the won tons in.” “OHH the won tons.”

- “we got Chuck. we got barney. Barney’s about to meet his maker.” “die commie fucker” “DON’T KILL MY DAD!”

- an obligatory Thomas Sanders vine

  • Yoongi: You know, for a guy who's an expert at street dance, you can't dance that well.
  • Hoseok: Did it hurt?
  • Hoseok: When you fell from Heaven?
  • Yoongi: I swear to God-
  • Hoseok: Because if it did, then good, you motherfucking fallen ass angel. Only you and Lucifer are capable of stooping so low-
  • Yoongi: Hoseok, calm d-
  • Hoseok, muttering under his breath: Good-for-nothing piece of shit. Always complaining about crap smh. Agust D-isgraceful.
  • Yoongi: For the love of God, I was jok-
  • Hoseok: DON'T TALK TO ME, MY UNLIMITED SUNSHINE OR MY 3000 DANCE MOVES EVER AGAIN!

classysharkbarbarian  asked:

I would die for your headcannons how are YOU SO GOOD AT MAKING THEM

*finger guns* i spend most of my waking hours consuming memes my guy

  • keith: “shiro… told me to lead voltron” hunk: “galra keith, i’m glad you discovered your sense of humor but now is not the time for jokes”
  • coran was altea’s bill nye
    • but like. more ripped
    • had a series of informational videos that covered basically anything slightly educational. was sleeveless in every single one
    • he was the Science Guy
  • lance insists upon the use of space rock paper scissors to solve disputes. it’s exactly like normal rock paper scissors but the rock is a space rock
  • they refer to keith’s shack as the “love shack, baby love shack”
  • slav: *breathes* shiro, under his breath: “patience yields focus patience yields focus patience yields focus-”
  • they ditch kaltenecker on the first planet with aliens that’ll take him
    • lance argues against this decision vehemently
    • “but allura we can’t get rid of him!! he reminds keith of home” “lance if you tell another texas joke i swear to god-”
  • lance’s Mermaid Thing conversation w hunk was 1% “wow mermaids are hot” and 99% “i wanna be a mermaid”
  • pidge: “why do you guys have british accents” allura: “what’s a british”

I don’t even know. I was taking a walk today and this idea popped into my head. I swear I’m still writing the bookstore AU, too. Also, *pops confetti*, I hit 2k followers today! Who ARE all you guys? Anyway, this fluff/ridiculousness is for you. ~1.6k words, rated G. Sterek, of course.

now also on AO3

The whole thing starts with Stiles really, really craving a meatball sub from the place across the street.

“God, someone shut him up,” Erica groans. They’re all kind of at their breaking point by now; they’ve been camped out in this meeting room all day, brainstorming. “He’s been talking about the same goddamn sandwich for seven and a half minutes now, and it’s making me hungry.”

“If only our ad campaign were about sandwiches, Stilinski would have it in the bag and we could all go home,” Isaac sighs.

From across the table, Derek rises abruptly to his feet and storms out. (Or maybe it’s just that Stiles always interprets everything Derek does as stormy. With those eyebrows, it’s hard not to.)

Stiles assumes he’s just gotten so fed up with them all that it’s either storm out or kill someone, and he’s just grateful Derek chose Door Number 1. It’s a good day not to get killed by Derek Hale.

Only, fifteen minutes later he comes back in. With a paper bag from the deli.

As soon as he gets within grabbing distance, Stiles practically collapses across the table in his haste to reach for it. “Oh my god, is that what I think it is?”

Derek holds it up over his head. “Who says this is for you? Maybe all your talk inspired me to go get a meatball sub of my own.”

“Oh, please. Like anyone with your abs eats meatball subs.” Stiles leaps to his feet on his swivel chair—because screw safety, Derek will catch him if he starts to topple over—and snatches the bag out of Derek’s grip. Derek doesn’t fight him for it very hard.

“Why don’t I get a meatball sub?” Erica whines, thumping her head down on her notebook. “Doesn’t anyone love me?”

Derek shrugs and takes his seat again. “You didn’t ask.”

“You just like Stilinski better,” she grumbles, and Derek just shrugs again.

Meanwhile, Stiles rips into the bag and takes a huge bite out of the gloriousness that is this sandwich. He can’t help throwing in a few theatrical moans just to taunt Erica, and she suitably rewards him with a glare of death across the table.

“Mmm,” Stiles says. “Derek, I love you so much, dude. Marry me.”

Instead of the grumpy eyebrows he expects, Derek meets his eye, leans back smugly in his chair, and says, “Okay.”

Keep reading

By Way of Spontaneity (Part 9)

Summary: On a whim, Bucky declares you to be his girlfriend to his grandma and mother. They’re eager to meet you and he asks you to pretend to be with him for just one dinner with his family. But is that really all?

Word Count: 816

Warnings: None.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

A/N: INBOX IS HERE. I apologize.

Originally posted by fuckyeahtonystark


Steve looked up from his laptop screen as Peggy came striding into the room, clad in only his dress shirt. He obviously ogled her and smiled when his eyes reached her toes and she wiggled them, toenails painted a vivid red.

“What are you doing?” she asked him, sitting down next to Steve and cuddling up to his side.

Steve gave a tiny shrug. “Enjoying our day off.”

Peggy scoffed. “By catching up on the latest gossip?”

“Hey, Facebook is quite the gossiper. I’ve found out remarkable things on this.”

Keep reading

  • Lucius Fox: You miss Oswald, don't you?
  • Ed: Oswald? Pffff, no, what a traitorous friend, I'm totally over hi — [trips] [hundreds of thousands of Oswald photos spill out of suit jacket] What a - I don't know where these came from, t-these aren't mine, I'm just [gathering them up and frantically sweating] ok, ok, listen Foxy - I hate the guy, he killed Isabella, l-listen [thousands of Oswald photos and Oswald hallucinogenic drugs scatter across the floor] Oh my god, I-I was going to burn these photos, I swear, oK jUsT LIS T E N
things that happened:

- they played sigur ros right before they started the show and i swear to god if i find out someone in vixx loves sigur ros i will die and go straight to fangirl heaven

- hyuk cried so hard during his thank you speech that he just put his head down so the camera couldnt see him for about 20 seconds and then choked out a “th…ank you…”

- hongbin’s solo blew everyone’s mind. seriously, this kid has grown so much and his voice is absolutely stunning. like i still cant get over it, it was AMAZING.

- i swear im a hakyeon bias guys, but hyuk stole the show omfg his solo was perf too ugh like dream boy material <3

- speaking of hakyeon, the fans had to let him know he had a little wardrobe malfunction lol (his fly was down) he was hilarious about it

- ken said “싫어" with aegyo and hakyeon literally stopped him midsentence and was like ‘KEN, HOW OLD ARE YOU? IS THIS OKAY FOR YOUR AGE TO BE TALKING LIKE THAT?’ and ken took a dramatic pause and then answered “yes” in the aegyo-est voice evar

- hakyeon said instead of having a happy ending with us he wants to have a (in english) “happy continue” :’)

- taekwoon refused to leave the stage aaaaas usual and kept making them play the chorus of the final song over n over (he did this last concert too) plus was super out of breath after dancing to the older songs idky hahaha

- ravi was brilliant as usual and looks more n more like ryan gosling with each day

-i sat next to about 5  boys who i assume were jellyfish male trainees and guys….we’re done for. one looks like a mini hakyeon but worse. they dangerous. get out of the fandom while u stiil can.

im forgetting so much but i need to shower n sleep so UPDATE LATERS