these feels i cannot handle

10

how to be a very cute little duckling as performed by kim namjoon

4

This is Xu Minghao, he’s ½ of the Seventeen’s Chinaline.

His stage name is THE8 which was once paired with “the cool cutie” to which he changed to “infinite possibilities”. 8 is a lucky number in China and when you flip it to the side, its the infinity sign.

He’s an adorable chinese boy who can’t eat cold noodles, isn’t fond of sweets and does b-boy. Any hairstyle fits him, any outfit works on him.

His korean accent is the most heart fluttering thing you’d here and his giggles would make you smile.

He has a side which we call Thughao where the cute side of him takes a break and out comes all the sassiness and the swag and the cool shades, and it all seems surprisingly natural.

He dances with so much style, you’ll be speechless and when he sings (oh dear lord when he sings) its like listening to the gentle wind.

He’s amazing.

This is Xu Minghao and I am madly in love with him.

my heart flutters around him.

Oh.

That awkward moment when you realize Redwall Abbey is the richest place in the entire Redwallverse.

Things The Abbey Has That Blow Vermins’ Minds:

  • Stained glass windows. Windows that aren’t just a hole in your wall.
  • Fruit trees. All in one place. With several varieties available.
  • Really big well-built stone walls.
  • Fireplaces constructed so the room doesn’t fill with smoke.
  • Actual beds. No seriously. Think about it.
  • A hand-woven tapestry that decorates an entire wall.
  • Multiple ovens.
  • A fish pond. And it’s not just for decoration. But it kind of is.
  • A deep cellar that keeps drinks cool. (That’s like the future.)
  • Stone floors, not dirt floors.
  • An apiary. Just… just go in your backyard and grab some honey. Do it.
  • Wall sconces.
  • Random assorted objects made of metal and not wood. Whoa.
  • Books. Parchment. Quill pens. Ink. More than one of these items each.
  • A well-stocked food and beverage collection.
  • Abbess Germaine’s spectacles. Like, glasses.
  • Legitimate stonework. Decorative gargoyles, statues, etc.
  • Martin’s sword.
  • Furniture. Chairs that are at least mildly comfortable. Cabinets.
  • Two ridiculously huge, shiny metal bells.
  • Soap.
Nobody Needs to Know

Pt. 2 || Pt. 3 || Pt. 4

Pairing: Jughead x Reader

Prompt: #19 “I’d rather die than do that.”

Warnings: A singular curse word.

A/N: My first imagine ever! I hope you guys like it. Requests are open!


“D’you think this project is really going to teach us life skills, or is it just another final project for ‘The Man’ to use to crush our already-dwindling spirits at the end of the year?” 

Jughead looks up from his laptop where he is supposedly typing notes from his English paper, but where you know he is instead working on the novel. In lieu of an answer, he flicks a fry your way and hits your forehead.

“Not fair,” you mutter, picking up the fry from the table you’ve commandeered at Pop’s.

“Well, if you didn’t want a fry to the face you should have known better than to use the capital-M ‘Man’ argument,” he says, punctuating it with an eye-roll. He picks up a handful of fries this time and shoves them into his waiting mouth.

“Whatever, Juggie,” you huff out, “That still doesn’t mean it’s not a valid question. Me working with Pop for the last couple months really just meant me eating the old batch of fries and sneaking a sliced pickle every once in a while. And yet Mr. Langle said my paper was ‘inspired’ and that the experience ‘obviously had an impact on me.” You don’t mention that it did have an impact, that sitting at the counter and staring at Jughead was what alerted B and V to your crush, before you even knew yourself. That it made them confront you about your feelings. No, you absolutely did not tell him that in the month since you finished those volunteer hours you have sat across from him in this very booth and wondered when you would snap, gripping those dark locks of his between your fingers as you pulled him in for a kiss.

He brings your attention back to the present by sending another fry flying. “Did you or did you not learn that an old batch of Pop’s fries can be just as good as a fresh one?” He gives the tiniest hint of a smile, corners of his mouth turned up in the usual manner, which is basically like a full-blown grin where Jug is concerned. When you give a dissatisfied sigh and a head nod, he raises an eyebrow. “I’d say that’s a valuable life skill, Y/N. We both know that Pop gives out old batches for free at the end of the day, but the only people who take ‘em are the ones who know what you now know.” At this Jughead looks back down at his laptop.

It seems that was Juggie’s limit of words for the day, as you continue to ramble on and he gives only a lifted eyebrow in the right places to respond.


Betty and Veronica walk in the student lounge, pinkies linked, and you wave them over when they lock eyes with you. Clearing your book bag to make room on the table, the two girls seat themselves opposite you before Ronnie pulls out her phone.

“Could you not go two seconds in my presence before you’re bored of me, V?” She looks up and gives a quiet laugh, setting her phone onto her lap.

Betty also smiles before giving you a troubled look. “What?” you ask, flitting your hands around your jacket zipper. “Is there something on my face?”

Betty’s concerned eyes turned to Veronica, and both of them sigh. “No,” Betty starts, “I was just wondering-”

“We wanted to know what you’ve done about Jughead,” Veronica spills. You sit back in your chair, wanting nothing to do with the conversation you know is about to ensue. “It’s just that we’re worried about you. You know how Jughead is, he will never be the one to make the first move and you can’t keep pining after him, Y/N. You need to tell him or you’ll just make a mess of your relationship before it’s even started.” B nods along as Ronnie reaches out for you hand.

You sink farther into the hard plastic of public school chairs. You let V take you hand in hers, but you’re done having this conversation. “Listen,” you pause and heave a huge sigh, unsure how to continue. “My answer is the same as yesterday, the same as last week, the same as the week before that. I haven’t and still do not plan on telling Jughead anything. I can take hiding feelings, what I cannot handle is losing Juggie.” You pick up your bag and leave the lounge right as Jughead walks in. You give him a smile and he grins back, but you don’t bother staying for his benefit. He’ll probably enjoy the alone time to work, anyway.


Once again sat at Pop’s, with an onion ring in hand, you recount to a clueless Jughead the annoyances that have been B and V.

“They just don’t get it!” You burst out, frustration evident in the way you angrily bite into the onion ring. “I couldn’t possibly tell y-”

You give a pause. You had almost let out that you can’t tell Juggie your feelings, but you caught yourself. You knew it was stupid to talk about it to him in the first place, but you figured if you kept what they were annoying you about vague enough then it would be okay. He was the first person you come to with problems, and this should be no exception. Just flub some of the details and it’ll be fine, you think. 

You continue on, grabbing a new onion ring while covering your near-miss.  “I couldn’t possibly do what they want me to do, there’s just too much at stake. Basically, I’d rather die than do that. I mean, how long can they pester me about it anyway? It’s been a month!”

Jughead shoves aside his laptop, snatching the food from your hand and shoving the fist-size ring into his mouth. You huff a laugh and roll your eyes before grabbing another one. This one you toss at his head, knocking his beanie askew. He swallows and rights his beanie, giving you a playful glare.

You hold your hands up in surrender. “That’s for the onslaught of french fries I endured!” His glare dissolves into a laugh. It’s music to your ears, and you can’t help but join in. He continues to eat the food you ordered, paying no mind to you studying his profile as he stuffs his face.

Not long after the onion rings are demolished do B and V stoll in, sliding gracefully into your booth. Veronica once again pulls out her cellphone, this time to take a picture of the ridiculously satisfied look Jug has after getting his fill of food. The three of you laugh as Jughead swipes at the camera with a frown while V pulls it away.

“Hey Betty, could you let me out? I’m not as good as Jug at vaulting the booths and I have to go to the bathroom.” Betty nods and lets you get up, then slides back into place.

Jughead has just managed to get Veronica to stop snapping his picture as you walked toward the back of Pop’s where the restroom was.

“So,” Jughead starts, knowing Ronnie would take his laptop and sit on it if he tried typing to ignore them, “You really need to give Y/N a break. She’s been complaining about you guys telling her what to do for the last hour.”

Betty gives Veronica a sideways glance only to see her return one. A waitress comes by with their usual strawberry milkshake with two straws, having put the order in when she saw the pair come in. Veronica ignores it as Betty thanks the waitress, instead focusing on Jughead.

“Wait, she told you what’s been bothering her?” 

He gives a little smirk in response. Of course, I’m her closest friend. Well, probably more than that, honestly,” he adds as an afterthought. “Really we’re bes-”

Betty cuts in with a squeal, “I can’t believe she told you!”

Archie walk in just in time to hear the high-pitch celebration and looks over to their table.

Grin stretching over her face, Veronica seconds the sentiment as she nods for Archie to join them. “Oh Archiekins, you’ll never guess. Y/N finally told Jug that she has feelings for him!”

Archie chuckles the tiniest bit before swiping their strawberry milkshake, making Betty give a snort of disapproval. None notice the ashen look Jug had adopted during their exchange.

“What- what do you mean, feelings?”

Veronica looks back to Jug, confused. “You know, that she has a crush on you?” She shakes her head, giving Archie a tiny glare as he slides the milkshake back towards them. “Honestly, none of us are surprised it took her this long. She can’t even decide between vanilla and chocolate shakes half of the time, of course it would take her forever to not only realize but to tell you how she feels.”

Jughead shakes his head slightly. “She…. she actually hasn’t mentioned it.”

The three friends on the other side of the booth freeze. Slowly, Ronnie opens her mouth but then quickly closes it again.

“But you said you’re more than friends?” Betty questions. “What did you mean if not that she told you and you confessed your love back?”

Jug doesn’t move anymore, the slight crease in his brow the only indication that he’s even present to the conversation. “I was going to say ‘best friends’,” he murmurs, mostly to himself.

Archie looks at Jug, then at B and V before clearing his throat. “I, uh, came in at a bad time, huh?”

You come out of the bathroom just in time to hear Archie’s question. “Why would it be a bad time?” you question, smiling and sliding in next to Jughead. The three opposite you look on with wide eyes as Jug turns toward you, Expression blank but eyes filled with a confusion that you can’t quite place. 

“You have feelings for me?”

Shit.

You know what, the Captain Swan was bad enough but now I also have Charming Family and Captain Charming feelings and IT IS JUST TOO MUCH. I CANNOT HANDLE IT ANYMORE.

LIKE LOOK AT THIS BULLSHIT. HE’S MAKING THE SAME FACE AS WHEN HE SAW HER WHEN SHE WAS 10. HE LOVES HER SO FUCKING MUCH.

AND THIS HUGGGG. THEY’RE TOGETHER AGAIN

BECAUSE EMMA HOPED TOO. I CRY SO MUCH.

BUT THEN THIS. FUCKING THIS. KILLIAN’S FIRST THING HE SAYS IS THAT EMMA MUST NOT HAVE TOLD YOU MY SECRET BECAUSE WHY ELSE WOULD YOU SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR ME BUT WHEN HE HEARS THAT DAVID KNEW HIS SECRET AND DID IT ANYWAY, HE’S LIKE THE FUCKKK? FOR A SECOND HE DOES NOT COMPUTE. BECAUSE HE CANNOT COMPREHEND

THAT SOMEONE MIGHT FORGIVE AND LOVE HIM AND THEN DAVID IS LIKE WE ALL KNOW YOU’RE A CHANGED MAN

AND EMMA’S LIKE FUCK YES AND SHE’S SO HAPPY HER FAMILY IS TOGETHER.

AND THEN THE SMILE. IT’S SO LIKE GRATEFUL AND RELIEVED

AND HE DUCKS HIS HEAD AND HE LOOKS SO YOUNG HERE. LIKE DAVID IS HIS OLDER BROTHER. AND I HAVE 12 EMOTIONS.

UGH THIS IS TOO MUCH.

Lost Angel

A/N: I honestly hate myself for this! I cried my eyes out, even imagining this hurt so much! Enjoy and leave your comments behind! I may do a little bonus part! Depends on you guys! Picture is not mine!


 I slam the door behind me as I enter my bedroom, leaning against it. My body feels numb and I have no strength left in me anymore. My eyes are red and swollen from the uncountable tears I’ve shared no long time ago and all I do feel is pain. An unimaginable pain that kills me from the inside. An unimaginable pain that stabs me like thousand knives. An unimaginable pain that tears me apart. My legs no longer can hold me steady and I slid down the door, wrapping my arms around them and starting to sob again. How can my day end like this?

My happiest night turned out to be my worst nightmare. I still cannot process everything that happened in the last few hours. Everything went so fast and I couldn’t prevent it from happening. I have struggled with all my might but I wasn’t strong enough. I wasn’t strong enough to protect him. I wasn’t strong enough to keep him safe. I have literally failed.

Why? Is all I can think about. Why did it happen? Why did I have to lose him? Why? Why? Why?

My throat begins to ache as I scream out this question over and over again. Over and over again until I cannot handle it anymore and my vocal cords feel sore. I weigh my body back and forth, back and forth, trying to calm down but I can’t. The pain, oh the pain in my chest is too heavy. I feel like I’m dying. I feel like someone knocked the air out of my lungs. I feel like someone ripped my heart out of my chest, stomping on it in front of my eyes.

I want him back, just want him back. His kiss that he gave me for the last time still lingers on my lips. The feeling of his arms wrapping around my waist is still present. His beautiful scent, I can smell it like he’s right next to me. But he isn’t, not anymore. I will never see him again.

I will never have the chance to kiss him again. To feel him and to talk to him all day long. All these chances are taken away from me. No more hugs, no more late night calls, no more “I love you’s” escaping from his beautiful lips. If I had known what the night would turn into, I would have never agreed to go to this fucking party.

The darkness of my room is a perfect contrast to what I feel now. Empty. My other half is gone, leaving me alone with emptiness and a broken heart.

Still sobbing and choking, I tug at my hair. I try to erase the memory from this night, but I fail. That moment, that horrible moment is burnt deep in the back of my head. I think it’s my fault even though I know it’s not. I take the whole responsibility of what happened this night even though I shouldn’t. Because I had no control over what happened.  As I open my eyes, I can see it again, live in front of me. His motionless body.

“No!” I shake my head heavily. “No! No!” I want these images to leave my mind and never come back again. I never want to be reminded of the actions of this night. Never.

“Marcel…” I whimper out. “Please come back to me… please baby…”

-Few hours ago-

“Look at the stars. They’re shining very bright tonight, don’t you think?” Marcel pointed to the sky. We were strolling over the huge football field of our school, enjoying each other’s presence. His hand felt warm in mine as we walked around.

I looked up, staring at the stars that decorated the dark sky, shining like little diamonds. The wind lightly blew at our faces and the atmosphere fitted perfectly to the moment I was able to spend with Marcel.

“They’re beautiful.” I commented.

“Just like you, sweetheart.” He answered, kissing my temple.

“Aww, stop Marcel.” I pushed him gently away, my cheeks turning red from his compliment.

“But it’s true!” He laughed and pushed me back against his chest. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my face nestled into the crook of his neck. If you’d asked me, we could have stayed there all night long, in the middle of the huge football field, like this. Being in each other’s arms. I felt his strong heart beat against my chest. A wonderful sound that always calmed me down when I had to deal with anxiety or stress. My fingers wandered up his neck, playing with the tiny curls that he couldn’t treat with hair gel.

A pleased hum came out from his mouth. “Do you want to go back to the party?” He asked.

I shook my head no, rather spending some time with my boyfriend where nobody could disturb us. Also, I had no desire to meet all those people who had fun with making my Marcel’s life a living hell.

A few of them were supposed to be my best friends and I felt disgusted that I once hung out with them. I belonged to the famous students in our school but traded that label against going out with Marcel. And I didn’t even care. I didn’t care for fame. I didn’t care if the other’s described me as the nerd’s girlfriend. I was totally content with that name and I couldn’t complain about it.

“Come on, let’s take a seat.” Marcel suggested, leading us to the benches. As we sat down, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, keeping me warm at the same time. I’ve already gone out with many but no one ever made me feel like Marcel did. Special.

He treated me the way I need to be treated, with care, respect and love. Not even my ex Jason, also one of the famous boys in school, managed to give me those things. We have been dating, yeah, but I think for him it was more about being the hottest couple in the entire school. He never gave me the feeling that he was really interested in me. I think worked more for our relationship than he did.

“I can’t wait to graduate.” I said, leaning on his shoulder. In a few months, we would finish school. I couldn’t wait for it any longer. Marcel and I decided to move in together and to study in the same university. I was so ready to leave everything of this life behind me and to start a new chapter. I was looking forward for our common future. One day, I would marry him and we would have lots of children playing in the back yard of our huge house. Just the thought of it let my heart doing flips. A smile crept its way on my lips and Marcel noticed.

“What are you thinking about?” He inquired, giving me a loving kiss on my head. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling of his sweet gesture.

“I’m just imagining our coming future. You and me as a married couple with children. I’m really looking forward to that moment.”

“Oh my pretty angel.” Marcel said. “I can’t wait for it too. If you ask me, I would want us to marry and having babies now but we’re too young. First, we have to concentrate on our career. And when the times there and we both feel ready for it, I will go down on my knees and ask you to marry me. It’ll be special, I promise.”

“Marcel…” I whispered, tears threatening to fall down my cheeks. Sometimes, he made me so emotional that I couldn’t help but tear up about the promises that he makes me.

“Don’t cry my, love.” He responded, wiping away the single tear that escaped my eye.

“I love you so much, Marcel.” I mumbled, bending forward to capture his lips with mine.

“I love you too, my angel.” He murmured before our lips met to a passionate kiss.

Thousand butterflies erupted in my stomach and I felt tingles running through my entire body, every single part of me felt alive. Words could not describe how much love I felt for this young man in my arms. How much I admired and adored him. He was my everything. The air for my lungs. The reason why I woke up every day and went through life. The reason for my smile. I would never be able to love somebody else as much as I loved Marcel.

As we pulled back, a genuine smile decorated our soft lips.

“Do you want to go home?” He asked and I nodded. We stood up, his body pressed to my side as we walked along the whole field to the gate.

And that’s the moment where the nightmare began.

We noticed someone shouting in the middle of the night, probably some drunk students from school. There was a party taking place and everyone was invited. We saw them coming towards us. My nails dug into Marcel’s arm, an uneasy feeling was overwhelming me.

And as I realized that it was Jason and two of his friends, I felt more insecure. Normally, I wasn’t afraid of Jason but when he was drunk, he was someone else.

“Look who we have here!” Jason slurred, he was completely drunk. “(Y/N) and Marcel! What a lovely surprise! Haven’t expected you guys to be here! What were you doing?”

His two friends laughed and I rolled my eyes, clearly had no desire for his stupid behavior.

“Hey Jason.” Marcel said, standing in front of me like a shield and trying to protect me from my ex boyfriend. “We were about to go.” We tried to pass the three wasted boys however Jason pushed us back.

“But we just came!” He whined. “Why don’t you guys stay here and we have a little bit fun, huh?” His eyes wandered down my body, licking his lips. I felt disgusted and uneasy under his gaze. Marcel held me closer to himself.

“No thank you.” He spat.”We are going now.” I admired Marcel’s braveness. I was ashamed that I couldn’t say a single word.

Jason’s eyes turned into a darker shade and it scared me. He still couldn’t bear the fact that I let him down for Marcel. His stupid big ego didn’t understand and he refused to let it go and move on. Even though he knew I had another boyfriend he still chased after me. I knew he wanted a pay back. He wanted his revenge. And now, his veins filled with alcohol he made a dangerous appearance.

I felt a firm grip on my wrist, pulling me away from Marcel. “You can go, Nerd. We will have fun without you, right (Y/N)?” Jason growled.

“Let me go, Jason!” I ordered, trying to get rid of his grab. But he refused to take his hand off of me.

“Leave my girlfriend alone!” Marcel interfered, pushing Jason hardly away from me. Jason stumbled back, almost falling to the ground (he was that drunk), but managed to keep his balance.

“Look at that!” Jason laughed. “The nerd finally showing his balls! Very cute.”

“Stop it, Jason!” I shouted. I wanted to prevent a fight between both sides and just go home as soon as possible.

“What?” Jason laughed. It was obvious that he found it amusing.”C’mon (Y/N), you know I’m better than he is and he’ll ever be. Come with me and I will make you feel good.”

“It’s not the way you treat a woman, you asshole.”  Marcel said, anger was boiling in his veins I could tell.

“What did you just say?” Jason shouted, triggered by the word.

“Asshole. You’re an asshole. That’s what I’ve said. You’re sick, Jason. You have no respect for woman or for anyone else. You just care about yourself! And you shall be true man? I feel sorry for you!”

And that was a moment for Jason to explode. No one was ever allowed to insult or underestimate his masculinity. “You’re going to pay for this, you fucking wanker!”

He punched Marcel on his nose, making him fall to the ground.

“Marcel!” I screamed, wanting to help but I was held back by one of Jason’s friends. He held me tight so I couldn’t escape out of his arms.

I had to watch how Jason and his other friend began to beat the shit out of my boyfriend. They wouldn’t stop kicking him. “Stop!” I cried. “Please stop!” I couldn’t bear to see him getting hurt. Tears wouldn’t stop streaming down my cheeks, and no matter how much I struggled to get to my boyfriend, it didn’t worked.

One of them hit Marcel on his chest and he let out a suffocated sound. It was an agonizing sound in my ears. Marcel had struggles to breathe. His upper body lifted and fell slowly. And it hit me. Marcel had a heart issue. They would kill him if they didn’t stop now. “Jason! Please stop! Stop! You’re going to kill him! Please stop!” I begged and begged and begged but they ignored me totally.

“That happens when you mess with me!” Jason grunted, keeping hitting on my boyfriend. Marcel tried to fend off the kicks but I knew that he became weaker and weaker. His moans and groans burnt themselves into my mind.

Jason hit his chest again, so hard that Marcel screamed in pain. “Jason! Stop! Please, I’ll do what you want, please!” I would do anything he wanted me to. He just should release my Marcel.

As the two guys kicked him for the very last time, one of the kicks hit his chest right were his heart was, Marcel’s eyes met mine and I screamed so loud that probably the whole world heard me. He stopped moving, laying there motionless.

As Jason and his friends realized that Marcel wasn’t moving anymore, they fled. The boy, who held me back the entire time, pushed me to the ground and run away. I landed hard on my knees, tears streaming uncontrollably down my cheeks and I crawled on all fours to Marcel.

“No… No.. no no no.” I sobbed. His beautiful face was covered in blood and bruises. His glasses were broken. He looked terrible. “Marcel…” I whimpered, shaking his body. My fingers went to his pulse, checking it. I couldn’t find it. It wasn’t there anymore. Shock went through my body. I checked it again but I didn’t feel it. “No…” I didn’t want to believe it. He couldn’t be. He couldn’t be gone. He couldn’t be dead.

“No, Marcel. Don’t do this to me, please!” I tried to revive him, pushing on his chest, checking up his pulse. I never received a respond. No matter how much I tried. “Don’t do this to me, Marcel. Don’t die on me! Don’t die on me! Come on! Please!”

I was a crying mess, not wanting to believe that I’ve lost the love of my life. I watched him die, taking his last breath in the worst way ever. “Marcel, baby, don’t do this to me! Don’t die on me baby, please!” I kissed his forehead. His cheeks. His lips. Hoping he would open his mesmerizing green eyes again. “You promised Marcel, we were going to marry! You wanted to propose to me one day, asking me to be your wife. You can’t let this go! Don’t leave me alone, my love, I’m begging you!” I buried my face in the crook of his neck, my neck wetting his soft skin. “Marcel… What am I going to do without you?! Baby, you can’t die, you can’t leave me alone! Wake up please!” I screamed over and over again. “Please!”

As much as it hurt, I knew he would never come back to me again. My baby, my Marcel was an angel now.

-Present-

“I love you… I love you so much, Marcel.” I sobbed, staining my pillow with my tears. It hurt. It hurt so fucking damn much. Even lying in my bed hurt. There have been so many memories in here and I felt trapped in my own bedroom. Without him, living made no sense anymore. Without him, living was not worth it. Without him, I will never find love again.

I am just feeling feisty today. Fighting everyone. Cause I CANNOT handle racism. I am such a peaceful and nice person but the amount of far-right republicans on facebook who want to justify their Islamophobia, and attacks of Muslim women in Wisconsin by sending a link to an article on an anti-islam sight about how the Quran promotes violence.. as if the Christians didn’t commit the 2 biggest genocides EVER.. OOOOOOOOHHH I’m fired up and annoyed today.

so if anyone wants to send me good (and real) examples of violence in the bible.. I’d appreciate it.. considering I don’t the bible extremely well