these commentaries are golden

Alright, so I find it hilarious that so many people with only a slight interest in greek mythology lose their shit over the sheer number of gods in the greek pantheon, saying things like “there’s so many of them!!!”, “why did they have a god for THAT???”, because every time I hear it I just go ????????????? HELLO??? YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW HALF OF IT!!!! IT GETS WORSE THE DEEPER YOU DIVE IN TRUST ME!

History fact of the day: the greeks were CRAZY. They had a god for absolutely everything - nowadays most of the big honchos of the Olympus are fairly well known but there’s a full bunch of random characters hanging around whose existence (and purpose in life) is largely ignored (completely understandable, seeing as some of them go around like “yaaaay I’m the goddess of the full moon!” or even “freaking goddess of your damn garden, beat that if you can”).

Let me introduce a personal favourite of mine - enter Momus, the greek’s very own god of SARCASM, MOCKERY, IRONY, and basically anything involving PRANKS and FOOLING WITH PEOPLE.

Now why the hell would they need a god for this I have no idea (but hey, the norse came up with Loki, soooooo). So this dude does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in any great greek meetings for war, gossip, rape of mortal women or other godly stuff the Olympians were always at - EXCEPT for RANDOMLY GOING AT SOME GOD and saying something along the lines of “hahaha ur soooo stupid”, “ur tunic looks like a gurls” or plain and simply “dude, you FUGLY”.

Eventually Zeus got so tired of him that he was banished from Olympus (fairly sure it was after he made a dick joke to Zeus) but before that happened he gave us some pretty golden moments with his commentary, because apparently at some point in time he was asked for his opinion on some gods’ creations (a man, a house and a bull) and his answers apparently were “jesus Hephaestus how the hades do you know what this human is thinking if it doesn’t have a FUCKING HOLE in the chest to LITERALLY see it”, followed by “I like all my houses with wheels incorporated so that I can leave you losers the moment you start being so boring - ergo, this one is shitty” and finally the magical “wtf why doesn’t this bull have eyes on its horns, how the hades does it see when it’s charging”.

Here’s some beautiful artwork of this wondrous meeting.

I MEAN

HE JUST LOOKS

SO DONE

WTF I’M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS

Also, let’s not forget that more or less about halfway through the Ancient Greek timeline of its mythology there was this moment when Gea (aka the Earth) complained to Zeus about the increasing number of humans, after which Zeus apparently urged the mortals to go on and have the War of Thebes. Problem is, there was not enough massacre, so Zeus was wondering whether it’ll be better to send a storm or a flood when suddenly Momus shows up and goes “don’t you worry, u just go and have a daugther and call her Helen, I promise somebody is bound to fuck up around her at some point”.

For those of you who don’t know, Helen basically became the center of the greatest fuck up in greek mythology - which is not very easy, lemme tell you.

And to wrap it up, turns out the only goddess who ever managed to avoid being majorly burned by this guy was Aphrodite, basically because Momus looked her over and the only thing he could say about her was “ur too gossipy” and “bitch change ur sandals thay squeak”.

So conclusion: if you don’t love Momus you’re just wrong.

2

Robert Patrick: And speaking of ‘she’ [Gillian Anderson], she’s incredibly sexy.
Kim Manners: There she is.
RP: Man, is she beautiful, huh?
KM: I bet you enjoyed working with her, didn’t you?
RP: It was incredible.
KM: What a tremendous giving actress
RP: Fantastic. We had very little time to talk, she and I, beforehand and I remember being so excited and nervous, this first episode, that first scene that we shot, and I hadn’t been that nervous as an actor in a long time…It was so great, but for those of you watching this, Kim really had her nail me with the water. Over and over. (laughs) But it was really the first take, I think is the one you went with…And boy Gillian had absolutely no problem getting it in there.  She just backhanded it right in there.
KM: That’s what I love.
RP: This moment right here is really good. There you go. You’re caught. Look how cool she is.
KM: Dangerous lady.
RP: Dangerous lady.
KM: [Scully throws water at Doggett] There it is.
RP: Yeah, that hurt, man. She had no problem getting it in there. Yeah, you son of a gun. But, you know, right there, that action right there I think is what the X-Files fans wanted to have happen to this John Doggett.
KM: Absolutely.
RP: Because the word was out there, I remember getting on the internet and people kind of going: ‘oh, wait a second, they’re bringing in this guy Robert Patrick and we don’t want him’ and there wasn’t a lot of enthusiasm for this guy and where’s he going, you know obviously they wanted David. And I think that Chris and Frank and David really were astute with that by saying, you know what, this is what they want to see, let’s just throw water in his face, let’s introduce him that way.

DVD Commentary for “Within”

It’s kinda funny how people’s first commentary upon finishing the Golden Age arc of Berserk (manga, movies, 90′s anime) it usually has something to do with Griffith. Either how much they despise him now or how disappointed they are in him because they loved him too much in the beginning.

BLADEDANCER(Me) vs GOLDEN GUN…Super Saiyan Goku Commentary!! [AMAZING-BULLET-DODGING] Like This Video?? // Subscribe For More Videos!

2

I’ve seen small comparisons between EarthBound and Golden Sun before, and GS’ writing isn’t quite as outstanding as EarthBound’s, but both games make a point of highlighting corruption in adults and people in power and emphasising the importance of young peoples’ decency.

In the Bilibin quest, McCoy sends countless warriors to stop the forest’s curse. Most (if not all) warriors were probably not Adepts, but the fact that none returned implies to me that any who made progress probably didn’t succeed because they turned to using violence against the forest, rather than trying to help the forest as Isaac’s party did. I always found that kind of subtle social commentary pretty interesting.

It’s no EarthBound in terms of social commentary, but Golden Sun still has a lot of important things to say.