these are the ones i could find that i have saved

anonymous asked:

sooo i don't really have a question but i would like an analysis of the new amazingphil video if you have one,, or just your favorite moments, idk i just want you to talk about it, i love your "reviews"

hahaha of course i’ll talk about it!!!!! it’s interesting bc when i first watched this i was actually like not that into it??? it just felt like 10 very calm and chill mins of dnp hanging out which is obviously great but i think i was sort of distracted so i was like mmmm it wasn’t as entertaining as their usual collabs, esp bc on first watch i was like, dan keeps going for these weird dark jokes about torture n maiming and it’s all v Standard Fare but then i thought about it more and realized ,, if this isn’t the biggest evidence yet about how far they’ve come and evolved since last year then idk what is??? like i just can’t believe it’s gotten to the point where i could watch 10 minutes of dan softly playing around with phil’s hair and both of them being a bit calmer and more muted in front of the camera, freely touching each other and joking around about more Mature Themes (hats off to the dildo joke and the “safety word” bit) and have all of that feel completely STANDARD and unsurprising!!! it’s just crazy to me that they’ve normalized these behaviors so much that a video like this could feel so completely expected and ~chill~ 

but then i watched it a second and third time (bc duh) when i was less distracted and there really were so many little moments that stood out to me and so many cute smiles and soft lil jokes that made me wanna melt and it was all just so good. it’s nowhere near their funniest or most captivating video but it’s just vv vv v v soft and chill and natural. when comparing it to something like pastel edits which is probs a close parallel in terms of them playing dress up and touching each other a bit in direct response to a fan request, you can see how this one is far softer and a little bit less performed–they seem less ‘on’ for lack of a better term, and a lot more laid back, dan doesn’t spend as much time demeaning the idea or teasing the fan base for wanting it, and all of it is just so enjoyable to watch. i’ve included (way too many) timestamps below (plus way too many screenshots, as usual, of stupidly cute moments ugh): 

  • 5 seconds in this is already alarmingly cute w dan grumbling behind the pillow that phil wants to give him a creative nickname and phil giggling and looking down at him when he starts complaining
  • :17 dan gives phil permission to just call him dan and phil looks cute n happy about it
  • :27 dan needs to reiterate he was a nerd in school
  • :34 ‘japes’ k dan
  • :48 i live for the way phil looks so earnest and excited when he asks dan why he decided to ‘embrace the curls’ like he genuinely wants to hear dan explain this .. phil is genuinely obsessed w dan’s curls he wasn’t lyin when he said that in the pastel edits vid :(
  • 1:00 i hope phil was the one who chose that photo as an example of dan’s hair looking good in a pic,, phil thinks dan’s best look is his crunchy 2013 leather jacket n his scoop neck t shirt … #confirmed
  • 1:10 ‘you’ve left me alone!’ calm down phil he’s right next to u
  • 1:12 did phil pick that photo too ..  the one of dan in his tank top n hair straightened to within an inch of its life and silvery earrings making a pouty face ,,, lmao i love that he’s picking the cringiest emo-est throwbacks possible
  • 1:54 phil’s like ‘i thought we could eat 400 crusts to see if my hair goes curly’ and it’s altogether a lame joke but dan is staring at him like he’s the most beautiful person on earth. i’d be uncomfortable if i wasn’t so busy melting. then phil stares at dan giggling and it’s all a bit much for me
  • 2:41 ‘what’d happen if i balded you right now?’ dan is so concerned for phil’s well-being that he forgets how to grammar
  • 2:45 the fuckin dildo joke i s2g why are they making sly references to dildos in a g-rated hair curling video why did phil immediately follow dan saying ‘that looks like something else’ by going ‘ooo’ and shoving the curler near dan’s mouth why are they gross
  • 3:21 dan unnecessarily rubbing the curler all over phil’s shoulder and neck … ok
  • 3:41 phil sounds so serious when he asks dan if he thinks the curly hair will suit him, like he really needs dan’s Hot Take on this important issue but dan’s just shuts him down hahaha. i feel like this is reminiscent of the faceapp vid in which dan was completely NOT DOWN with any alteration to phil’s appearance whatsoever bc (vom) he thinks phil is perf jst the way he is (i might actually be sick) 
  • 3:47 idk why but i’m obsessed w phil saying ‘dan, don’t mess about with it’ and dan responding ‘i’m nOT’ in his whiny voice w his eyes all wide. cute
  • 3:56 lmao dan bringing up babuse (i can’t type that without thinking of ‘let me see that babussy’ i hate the fucking internet) and saying it was the last time he was on this bed, i am living for these bants and also phil’s expression of mock horror
  • 4:08 ‘curl me up, bess’
  • 4:11 dan’s going for ‘teen nick jonas but without the face’ his crush is going strong i see,, and then he can’t even follow through and tell phil his face doesn’t compare to nick jonas’s so he turns it into a joke about burning his face instead, nice save bro
  • 4:27 THIS KILLED ME THEYRE JST TALKING N DAN JUST BRUSHES ASIDE A BIT OF PHILS FRINGE FOR NO REASON AT ALL HE JST WANTS TO PLAY W HIS HAIR ITS CUTE N IM DYIN
  • 5:01 something about this bit when dan’s like ‘got a whole clump it’s undignified’ and their proximity, the way their arms are sort of pressed together and it looks like dan could be resting his hand on phil’s leg and dan is also sort of just looking down at phil ,,, Good
  • 5:08 when phil kinda squeaks and pulls away all of a sudden i feel like dan is legit actually concerned he could burn phil as evidenced by his voice going all high pitched when he’s like ‘you can’t do that!!!!’
  • 5:13 more completely unnecessary dan playing around w phil’s fringe n brushing it away. it goes on for like 8 seconds plus there’s a jump cut in the middle of it lmao,,, ugh the way he touches phil’s hair is so soft it makes me feel things
  • 5:32 ‘gonna pork you up phil’ does dan know the meaning of ‘pork’ as a verb ??  ? ? ??? ??????  for reference:
  • 5:36 ‘my life is flashing before my eyes’ ‘ooo is it really boring’ dan is showing yet again that he flirts like a five year old who pulls their crush’s pigtails in the playground grOW UP MATE. phil loves it tho
  • 6:03 omg idk why but i LOVED phil saying ‘i’m finding you so disturbing right now’ it feels so authentic??? something about the way he phrased it is so funny??????? like he genuinely needs dan to take it down a notch w the grim humor lmao
  • 6:47 ‘we need a safety word’ oh my god these boring vanilla fucks call a safe word a ‘safety word’ could they be LAMER hahaha (in all seriousness i can’t even believe that’s a joke dan went for at all let alone on this channel and that phil just chuckled n went along with it what the fuck what a time we live in honestly,, the flirting and touching and the whole premise of a dan-curls-phil’s-hair video is already so much but, like, let’s just add a fucking allusion to bdsm into the mix while we’re at it!!!!!!! wtf!!!)
  • the whole sped up montage of dan doing the curling is just rife w gratuitous hair touching so like obvi i immediately turned the speed down to .5 and just sat back to enjoy it (also @kay-okays uploaded a slowed down version here if ya wanna look at that or like bookmark it for ur own uses ,,  whatever ur into m8)
  • 7:18 those two gentle pats that dan gives to the back of phil’s head before phil looks at his finished hair … so fucking adorable bc it’s the way dan pats down his own hair when he’s fixing it pls save me
  • 7:29 dan obvi needs to make it a point to emphasize they have the same hair again as has been his constant refrain about their haircuts for the last like 3 years (tbh i’m convinced that he literally misses having the same hair as phil which is gross and just as sappy as i’d expect from him) and in order to demonstrate how ALIKE they are again he proceeds to mirror phil playing w his fringe bc why not .. 
  • ‘this was the only thing that was separating us’ PLS
  • 7:38 dan’s Hot Take 2.0: ‘you look like a cool australian surfer … like a weird goth one that has never been to the beach’
  • 8:14 dan asserts on phil’s behalf that phil ‘needs’ the edge of his emo fringe and phil immediately agrees. rip to anyone who was hoping quiff!phil might be on the horizon
  • 8:39 dan goes defensive about how he could’ve done a better job and phil immediately jumps in to say that he thinks dan did well in the most sincere voice of all time, accompanied w cute/soft smile
  • and then he cuts dan off entirely to remind him that he didn’t burn phil’s face off and to v fervently thank him (he litro NODS while he thanks him it’s so SERIOUS) and then dan does some weird touchy thing to phil’s chest or arm or both and phil decides to boop dan’s cheek and you should really SLOW IT DOWN bc when you do, you notice it’s more of like a lil squeeze as opposed to just a v light tap and it’s gROSS:
  • 8:59 then, since this video has far too much dan gratuitously touching phil and phil was surely feeling deprived, phil reaches over to give dan a ‘zayn curl’ and play w dan’s fringe a bit n at this point i’ve had Enough of this cute ass shit
  • 9:20 dan couldn’t just leave it there, he needs to take a moment to re-assert the ~dnp don’t go outside or go to parties or talk to people Ever~ branding just in case ANYONE forgot (but also seems like a low key way for dan to gently remind the audience not to get attached to this in any way bc it will probs never happen again)
  • 9:40 phil dubs dan the “original curly man” n idk how to feel about this but i suppose that is a fitting conclusion to this absolute roller coaster of emotions 

ugh. just a really great video. i’m sorry this post is massive,, there’s jst so much here and i needed to have pics of ALL OF IT

(dan curls my hair!

Cinderella

Summary: After waking up in the morning finding out you had a one night stand with someone you don’t even know…you rush out as quickly as possible…too bad you forgot your cell phone.

Pairing: Jeon Jeong-guk (Jungkook) / Reader

Genre: Smut

Words: 2k

A/N: extremely Mature rating- Definitely a part 2 coming ;)


“How do I look?” You asked your best friends.

“Gorgeous.” They said at the same time. You settled on a simple black dress, that hugged your curves beautifully.

“And here.” Your friend Lalisa got up and scrunched up your long hair with her fingers. “Guys like messy.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” It wasn’t your idea to go out in the first place. Your friends thought it would make you feel better, help you move on from your tragic breakup that ended a month ago and you happen to still be hung up on.

Illhoon was the best thing that has ever happened to you and being together for three years, things just weren’t working out. You were always fighting, he was always busy, and you haven’t been sexually active in months. He was always loyal to you, too loyal that he broke things off. He felt bad that he couldn’t give you the love you deserve. He just wasn’t happy, which you respected.

Now your pain in the ass friends were trying to set you up.

“Okay….lets go.” Lalisa marched out and Rosé gave you an apologetic look.

“It will be fun, don’t worry.” She told you.

-

When you got to the club it was surprisingly not that crowded. Which was a relief. “Lets get some fuel.” Lalisa started walking towards the bar.

6 shots later you were starting to get buzzed that you decided to slow down on a casual drink. “Hey.” You looked up following the voice. “Do you see that hot guy over there.” Lalisa pointed with her eyes.

You started to look. “Hey don’t be obvious.” She alerted you.

“Sorry.” You snorted. Maybe the alcohol had kicked in more then you thought.

You slightly looked over, pretending to not be obvious. You saw more then one hot guy, to be honest, but one got your heart racing.

He had dark hair and a killer smile. Possibly one of the most handsome guy you have ever seen. Not counting Illhoon. Shit! You weren’t suppose to be talking about him.

“Go over there and talk to him.” Lalisa pressured you.

“Unless it’s too soon.” Rosé debated.

“No it’s the perfect opportunity….its been long enough…you need to put yourself back out there.” Lalisa argued.

“I’m going over there.” Lalisa stood up. “I’m going to introduce him to you and then I’m going to take his hot friend with the dimples.” Then she stormed off.

As you saw her talking you decided to take about 3 more shots, you were too sober for this.

You saw the guy smile in your direction. “Lalisa always wins.” Rosé said and got up to walk over to one of the other guys.

You were left drinking alone. You didn’t want to act like you were desperate and you weren’t, you wanted to take it at a slow level.

You were slightly drunk that you almost thought the hot guy was walking over.

“Hi.” Oh, it’s real. “I’m Jungkook.” He reached his hand out to you.

“Hi.” You blushed as you stood up, accepting his handshake. “I’m (Y/N).”

“Your friend over there gave a pretty good word for you.”

“What did she say?” You nervously asked.

“She said that I’m an idiot if I don’t talk to you because you are the hottest thing that has ever hit this club.”

You slapped you forehead amused. “I’m so sorry about her.”

“I wouldn’t disagree.” You looked at his sweet smile and blushed.

Your friends were right, you need to let lose, have fun. “Let’s go dance.” You pulled his hand, leading him to the dance floor.

The alcohol took over as you reached the dance floor. You just wanted to have a good time. You felt Jungkook’s hands wrap around your waist as you grinded your hips with his. Your back was rubbing against his chest as you danced in motion.

A few drinks later and a few sexual dances later the rest of the night was all a blur. You knew you wouldn’t remember anything in the morning. You couldn’t remember the fact that you shared an intense kiss.

The second that your lips aligned with his, you were hungry for more. You felt connected with him, but you knew better then to trust the alcohol.

And this case you did. “Do you want to get out of here?” You whispered in his ear.

“Yeah.” Then you don’t even remember getting to his apartment but you got there. As soon as you both tumbled into the door you jumped up wrapping your legs around his waist as he carried you to his bedroom.

He moved down to your neck as soon as your back hit the bed sheets. The sexual tension from each wet kiss had you feeling soaked between your legs.

You heard your phone ring on the table beside you. You couldn’t read the name from your blurry vision, so you tossed it instead.

Jungkook made his way back up to your lips as you felt up the front of his jeans. You attempted to unbutton his belt along with his pants. His hand found itself kneading your chest. You couldn’t help but moan, it’s been a while since you have been touched like this.

You slid your hand underneath his boxers, touching up his sensitive area. The area was tight from his hard-on.

You flipped you both over so you can pull down your dress, leaving you in your bra and underwear. You finished pulling down his pants, exposing his length. Wow. Again, the alcohol bringing out the sweet girl you tried to convince yourself to be.

You grabbed his length kissing the red tip. You loved the sound that escaped his mouth as you started to lick down his area. You couldn’t help but smirk from the thought that you were in control. You made your way back up to the tip leaning your head down to take him fully into your mouth. You bobbed your head up and down sucking every inch of his throbbing member.

You sat back up letting go of him you didn’t want him to take all the fun. You wrapped your arms around your back to unhook your bra and then you slid your underwear off sexually.

He sat up looking at you with desire in his eyes. You bit your lip as you watched him take off his clothes. He was extremely fit. You slid yourself down onto him, surprised by the sudden pain.

You rocked your hips back and forth taking in the pleasure that you desperately needed. You moaned as he worked against you. He grabbed a hold of your hips moving you quicker then you can handle.

You screeched in surprise when he flipped you both over as he took control. He lifted your right leg up onto his left shoulder to deepen the angle. You loved how attractive he was even though he was sweaty.

You felt your toes go numb as your orgasm immerse throughout your body. You squeezed your eyes shut trying to pass through the feeling. Jungkook’s pace slowed down immensely as you felt him jerk his liquid into you. He kissed you passionately before he collapsed on the bed next to you. After that you let the sleep get a hold of you.

-

Your eyes fluttered open as the killer headache flooded your skull. You yawned sitting up when you realized you didn’t recognize the room. You took in your surroundings as yours eyes drifted off to the sleeping beauty next to you. The last thing you remember was dancing with him. Oh shit! What have you done?

You slowly got up trying not to wake what’s his name. Jungkook? You tried to remember. As soon as your feet hit the floor you reached for your underwear and dress. You grabbed your heels, tip toeing your way out of his room. Damn he was beautiful but one night stands are always awkward, that’s why it’s best to sneak out.

On your way out you saw a sweater pulled over a chair. You know you shouldn’t but you took it to at least to save your dignity. When you made your way onto the streets it was way too familiar. This was your street. You only had to walk down a few blocks to reach your apartment. The sweater covering you didn’t have an affect, people still stared at you. Judging you.

When you got home your roommate was in the kitchen.

“Oh my god there you are.” Rosé panicked. “I tried calling you.”

You stopped in front on the mirror making your way to the kitchen. Your makeup was running down your face and your hair was a mess. No wonder everyone was staring.

“Wow you bad girl.” Rosé smirked at you. “You and Lalisa ditching me to go have sex.” She pouted.

“Other then you two I had a nice sober talk with a sweet guy named Jin.”

“That’s nice.” You grabbed the aspirin.

“Anyways….what happened?”

“I don’t remember.” You groaned.

You went to sit comfortably on the couch. Rosé followed you with an ice cold pack.

“I snuck out before I could ask.” You confessed.

“Well maybe you’ll see him again.”

“Maybe….we better call Lalisa to see if shes okay.” You suggested.

“I already did…but both of you ignored my calls.” Rosé intrigued.

You felt the pockets of the sweater, feeling for your phone. It wasn’t there. You got up following your steps to the door where your purse was. You dug through it rapidly trying to find your phone.

“Fuck.” You said panicked “fuck, fuck, fuck.” You got up.

“What?” Rosé rushed to you.

“I forgot my phone.”

-

A few hours later you were still panicked. “What am I going to do?”

“I told you already.” Rosé said annoyed.

Both your eyes made their way towards the door as it opened. Lalisa made her way through with a big smile on her face. “What’s up?” She said casually.

“Where the fuck were you?” Rosé sat up annoyed. “I’ve trying calling you all day.”

“Sorry I was out.” She made her way towards her room. Then she came back out with a bathrobe getting ready for a shower. “I had the best time last night.” She smiled. “I think I’ll stick around with this one.” The thing with Lalisa was she would hook up with guys until she found one she liked.

“He’s so cute and he has like the perfect body, nice and tall, lean.” She blushed. “We had like the best morning sex and then he bought me out for breakfast.”

“Anyway what about you? I saw you guys last night, I almost thought you were going to go at it in the dance floor.” She laughed.

You just sighed. “What’s wrong?” Lalisa asked.

“This whole thing makes me uncomfortable, sleeping with someone I just met….I don’t even remember him that much, just his face.”

“Well maybe if you didn’t sneak out maybe you could get to know him.” Rosé said.

“You snuck out….oh (Y/N)….that’s going to give him the wrong idea and now you’ll probably never see him again.” Lalisa said disappointed.

“She’s going to have too.” Rosé spoke for you.

Lalisa looked at you both. “I forgot my phone.” You said trying to stay calm.

-

“What if he answers?”

“That’s what we want doofus.” Rosé stated.

“I’ll just buy a new phone.” You turned away.

“No you wont.” Lalisa pulled you back.

“Call.” Rosé handed you her phone.

You nervous dialed your phone number. You brought it up to your ear. Your heart started beating quickly as you heard the phone ringing. Lalisa and Rosé were hanging on each shoulder listening.

“Hello.” You heard his cute voice.

“H-hi.” You nervously stuttered.

“(Y/N)?” He remembered your name?

“Hi….um…you have something that belongs to me.”

He laughed. “That’s funny because I believe you have something that belongs to me.”

It took you a few to understand what he meant, but then it occurred to you. You stole his sweater.

Ketch Her If You Can

Title:  Ketch Her If You Can

Summary:  Dean’s not happy when Ketch and the reader start flirting. Ketch seems interested in her, until the truth comes out, then he shows his true colors.

Author:  Dean’s Dirty Little Secret

Characters:  Dean Winchester, Female Reader, Arthur Ketch, Sam Winchester

Word Count:  1795

Warnings:  canon typical violence

Author’s Notes: This was written for @supernatural-jackles Birthday Challenge. My prompt was the gif below. I decided to go a different route and not write demon!Dean. Also, this is smut free. Go figure.

Keep reading

sheep--demon  asked:

if you're feeling alive and well, how about a fic where Lance is talking to Pidge but suddenly he freezes up because she looks so much like his younger sibling that he get teary eyes and runs towards blue. there, he talks about his feelings in Spanish. Pidge finds it weird but thinks nothing of it until when shes looking over the video footage in the castle she hears Spanish coming from the blue hanger from hours ago. She then translates it after an hour and freaks out

Hope you enjoy!
This was the most detailed of my remaining asks, and also one I was excited to do, so I had to make sure to take my time with this one.

I hope you enjoy!

Have you ever been out somewhere, whether it be school, the grocery market, or just hanging out in general public, and you see that person?

That person that looks so much like or sounds so much like someone you knew, but under whatever circumstance you just knew that it wasn’t who you thought?

A voice.
A facial expression.
Maybe the way they walk or hold themself.

It reminds you of someone and for a split second your brain believes it and you go into either good or bad panic.

‘Oh shit, it’s them.’
Or
‘It’s them!’

A sister, a brother, a crush, a parent, they trick you out for the slightest moment and leaves your heart racing.

In this situation, Lance went into bad panic. His heart racing with anxiety and the pain of his mind tricking him like that.

Pidge looked at Lance, scrunching her nose and tilting her head, “Dude, are you okay?”

They had only been talking, Pidge was tinkering a little bit they had just been having a fine conversation until.

Until.

She looked to much like his little sister for a split second, just the way she had smiled and the angle Lance was at.

He froze up and the ‘Fight or Flight’ instinct took over his system. Bad Panic.

His breath caught, he teared up and stood, shaking his head quickly and leaving Pidge to sit alone in the room.

Lance just ran.

The blue paladin knew it couldn’t have been his sister, it was Pidge clearly, but this stupid head of his let him believe for a split second.

Just one sec was all it took.
He hadn’t even seen his sister in over a year now.

As he did when everything went wrong, Lance ran to Blue and hid himself away inside her.

The blue eyed boy took a moment to let his tears fall, and succumb to the wave of homesickness that left him shaking.

He missed them so much.

An unpracticed language slipped past his tongue as he murmured to Blue, letting his thoughts and feelings out.

He only spoke Spanish to blue.
Occasionally he’d let out a Spanglish phrase around the team, but no fluent talk.

It was relaxing.
Lances didn’t have to think about translations or if he was making sense or speaking correctly.

“Se veía igual que ella. A veces me asusta cuando veo a mi familia en el equipo.” Lance murmured, feeling comforted by Blues purring despite his words.

He went on to explain what had happened, why he was here and why he had ran. Pidge was probably back there now, worried.

Lance had made her worried.

A shaky sob left him, and he wiped his eyes as he talked to Blue and emotion took over.

“A veces quiero dejar. Ir a casa. Pero sé que el universo necesita ser salvado, y…” Tears slipped and he took a breath, “…a veces pienso que no soy apto para el trabajo.”

His heart clenched and Lance let his words sink into the two of them. Blue hated to have her cub so distressed, willing him to sleep.

Pidge sighed, laying on her bed in her room and messing with her computer.

“Lance was acting weird earlier…” She stated to open air, flipping through camera feed from over the past few hours.

Lance got upset sometimes, which was fine and completely human, but today was something different.

She just had to ignore it, check the feed and then get some rest. Pidge could talk to Lance about it in the morning.

The green paladin flippe through some more footage, silence and just dull clicking as noise, until she stopped at the camera on the Blue lion and heard noise.

Who was talking?
It was definitely Lance but it’s nothing she could understand, and he had an accent to him, speaking different.

She blinked, staring.
Lance had been in Blue, nothing wrong with that, but why was he saying to her?

Pidges nosiness got the est of her and she cropped the audio from the camera and into the personal translator she used for when she was learning Altean.

He was talking about Earth mostly, describing his family and things of the like, but it got darker as Pidge listened on.

'She looks just like her, sometimes it scares me when I see my family in the team.’ The translator spoke back to her in choppy English.

Pidge frowned. Who was 'she’?

'Sometimes I want to leave. To go home. But I know that the universe needs saving and…’

The green paladin felt her heart drop, and her hands shook as she continued the translation.

’…sometimes I think I’m not the right person for the job.’

She shook her head, hopping up and closing her laptop. How could Lance be thinking such a thing?

Was he going to leave?!
He couldn’t!

The smallest paladin was at Lances door in minutes, knocking loudly before allowing herself in.

Lance was sitting up in bed, a bag of some of his things packed. The boy looked up quickly, trying to hide the bag.

“P-Pidge?!”

She was frozen to the spot, tears in her eyes now and eyes big. He really was leaving.

The green paladin ran over and tackle hugged Lance, holding tight and started to cry.

“Lance, I heard what you said. I’m sorry you miss home and I’m sorry I reminded you of someone, but please. You can’t leave!” She had figured out who 'she’ had been.

It was her.

Lance stood in absolute shock, looking down at the younger girl and he felt his tears returning.

~~~
“Lan! Lan! Pwease don’ leave, what if aliens get you?”

His little sister cried as he stood in the door way with his family and bag of things to take to the Garrison with him.

Lance smiled and crouched in front of her, wiping her tears. His look was loving.

“Then I’ll have to kick their butts, and tell them I have the best little sister waiting for me back home.”

The little girl smiled, seemingly happier hearing that. “Can you bring me back a star?”

Lance grinned, “I’ll bring you a whole sky full of stars! Promise.”
~~~

Back in the present, Lance ad sunk to the ground with Pidge, holding her and rocking her.

How could he have thought so selfishly?
Pidge was just as much as his little sister as his sisters back on Earth were.

He could never give let them face the pain of his departure again. What sort of big brother did that?

The blue paladin hugged Pidge close, keeping her safe in his arms and calming her.

“I won’t, I promise.”

anonymous asked:

Why you love Eren so much???

This is hard to answer because I honestly don’t know where to start! Sorry it took me a while to answer, I wanted to write this down so :) Sorry if it’s messy and repetitive. Eren is so so important to me in so many different ways and he makes everything so much better. I genuinely care a lot about him and he has changed me in positive ways. It’s hard to explain but to me he’s just wonderful and amazing and he’s always there for me.

Eren is a truly fantastic and genuine character and he brings out the best in people (including me) and is able to inspire everyone around him. He is a genuine kid who stays true to himself no matter what, who speaks up for what he thinks is right. He has a ridiculously huge heart even though people ignore that and his core is brave and determined, he moves people just by being himself. Eren is passionate, ardent, desirous, strong willed and those are things I deeply admire about him. He is unique and so so so amazing, he makes me value stuff around me a lot more and he makes me feel passionate and loving, he inspires me and gives me something to look forward to, he gives me a reason, something to be happy about and I will never regret loving such a delightful character. I’m unconditionally proud of him and I feel like every day I find a new reason to admire him. I could just sit all day and stare at him and I would never get bored.

Eren is a great friend, the best friend anyone could possibly have and he is always there for his friends no matter what, even when it means protecting them with his own life. He cares a lot about his dear ones and would never hesitate when it comes to them. Although his childhood was taken away from him, Eren remains loving and caring and would do anything to get that happiness and freedom back. Eren works harder than everyone else to achieve his goals and never gives up, he trains so ridiculously much because he believes he can achieve greater things, he overworks himself to prove his worth and to feel like he is needed and that he can help everyone. Eren is the type of person who overworks himself to the point of being physically exhausted and getting nosebleeds just so that he can be useful and because he wants to use his abilities to use others. He wants people to approve him, he wants to feel needed, he wants to know he can be more than just a burden, he wants to help and he wants people to understand how much he values his cause and how much he would sacrifice for it. Eren bluffs because he himself wants to believe he’s strong and a “good weapon” for humanity. He wants to believe in himself, he needs reassurance just like a normal kid would and that’s because he treasures people’s lives and is tired of seeing everyone around him suffering because of him.

Eren has begged to die, he has been tortured, he has seen his friends die, he has seen his mom being eaten, he was forced to grow up way too fast, he has to live with the fact he has his goddamn father, he knows when he’s going to die, he has been hurt countless times, people have tried to kill him, he has lost all his hope, he has seen awful stuff, he struggles a lot with all the mixed memories he gets, he feels betrayed by his own dad and by people he looked up to, he has self harmed himself so so so many times, he is exhausted, he is feared and not trusted by most people, he has lost limbs, he even has been eaten by a titan, he has been treated like a monster with no feelings, he blames himself for the deaths of so many people, he blames himself for his dad’s acts, his dreams have been crushed… but this kid remains strong and true to himself, Eren keeps his head up for the sake of what is right. Eren wants to help people without expecting anything in return from them, and that’s something very important he has taught me. He keeps fighting no matter what and dedicates his heart and soul to what he thinks is the right thing to do. He spreads strength and hope, he makes people understand their true value and gives them a reason to always keep fighting.

Eren has been through so much development and that proves how amazing his character really is. He is aware of his surrounding and learns with his mistakes. He has doubted himself so many times and he has learnt that he can’t do everything alone, he has learnt how to value team work. He’s way more than his “anger issues”, he’s honest, emotional, courageous, compassionate, and there’s this huge mix of emotions inside him. He’s reckless and stubborn but he always takes action and has learnt to control his emotions. He has a great morality and wants the world to be fair and real. He has a striving spirit and a kind and generous heart. His sheer determination and his hard work were enough to take him to the place he is now, and he should be proud of himself. He has learnt so much and he has a huge huge huge potential. He can do anything he sets his mind to. Eren admires and respects his comrades with his entire heart, he looks up to people and follows their examples because he wants to be a great soldier.

Eren made it to the top 5 in his trainee squad even after being told he wouldn’t be able to make it, he didn’t hesitate to fight the colossal titan when it appeared in Trost despite being a new soldier with no fighting experience, he sacrificed his life for Armin and saved him with only one leg, he saved Mikasa form her kidnappers giving her a new family, he punched a titan with his bare hands and saved everyone, he was ready to sacrifice his life just so that Historia could eat him. Eren is badass and wonderful even without relying on his titan powers and fights even though he knows he has low chances of actually winning. He closed both holes in wall Rose and wall Maria and provided humanity their first victory against titans, he fought the female, armoured and colossal titans alone, he mastered his hardening ability and used it to save everyone once again, he gives people a reason to remain hopeful. He carries the burden of “not being a hindrance to humanity” and deals with a lot of stress, uncertainty and pressure, yet he’s still ready to go no matter what. This kid never gets time to properly rest and just be a kid, and was forced to embrace powers he never asked for.

In spite of everything, this is just a little boy who probably misses his mom probably a lot and who doesn’t want anyone to go through the same as him. Eren is my happiness, he is always full of life and lights up my world just by being his unique and amazing self. He really does inspire me a lot and really do care a lot about him, so I hope one day he gets the opportunity to be happy and surrounded by his loved ones. I am very grateful that I found something so worth of love as Eren and I’m always here for him :)

living the dream

Fandom: Skam
Ships: Chris x Eva and Noora x William
Summary: The double date is Chris’s idea.
(Canon compliant if you squint and pretend Chris x Emma never happened.)
ao3

Two New Messages from Christoffer Schistad:

Hey bro

You know how we’ve always said it would be cool to go on a double date

William Magnusson:

When has either of us ever said that

Keep reading

Little disclaimer, I fucking love Petra okay? I`m not against shipping her with Levi or trying to hate on her character, this is all an excuse for me to write Levi being hopelessly in love and jealous!Petra is one of my guilty pleasures. Petra is a sweet angel and doesn`t deserve the suffering I put her though, that is all u-u 

AO3 Version

______________________________________________________________

When Eren had been thrust into their squad, she’d thought nothing of him. Yes, he was handsome and new, but it wasn’t something she, as devoted to Levi as she was, took notice of.

She should have noticed the lingering looks Levi kept sending him, the shy glances he got in return.

She should have noticed the way the Corporal helped him off his horse when they’d arrived at that castle, despite him being entirely able.

Should have noticed the charged air between them, when they’d disappeared without a trace for an entire night to tend to the horses that had already been tended to that morning.

Maybe she could have prepared, but she was too sure, too blinded.

And because of that, too late.

E♡L

Petra seethed silently as Eren scooted closer to Corporal Levi, he may as well have been in his lap! And the dark haired man wasn’t even protesting, she was beginning to think he’d actually let the young brunette do it! Levi was telling an intricate story of he and Hanji getting into something or other and normally she’d be enthralled by it, but ever since Eren found his way into their squad, he threw it all to hell. Now instead of Levi glancing at her when a particularly funny part was told, his eyes were only for Eren.

Eren who laughed genuinely at nearly every joke, and who got away with calling out the bad ones.

Eren who had Levi’s apt attention, had the man leaning over towards him to whisper little details of the tale no one else was allowed to hear, had him giving a twitch of his lips every time he got another pretty laugh from the teen.

Levi was absolutely enraptured, it was easy to tell.

And Petra was absolutely livid.

E ♡ L

She knew it was wrong, to dislike Eren for something he’d had no control over, how was he to know that Levi would find him so much more charming than she, would want him so quickly. She certainly hadn’t.

Nevertheless, she did dislike him for it, and it showed. She knew he felt the shift in her treatment of him, how she would ignore him entirely if it was just the two of them, and throw undeserved remarks poorly disguised as jokes when in front of others.

She knew that eventually he’d tell his beloved superior about it, but she didn’t expect to be called to the man’s office only minutes later. That wiped the meanspirited smirk right off her face.

He’d stared her down like she’d was a titan he was ready to strike to the ground. And Eren , sweet, innocent Eren, stood guiltily at his side, he looked so pretty in the warm backlight of dusk. She hated it.

Had he come here, tears in his big doe eyes, and poured his hurt heart out to his Corporal? Had Levi taken him into his arms and soothed his sniffles and vowed to take care of it? Kissing, petting, snuggling, doing everything in his power to appease his boy?

“Petra, Eren tells me he’s being treated like a steaming pile of shit, why is that?” Levi asked her darkly.

“Are you sure he isn’t overreacting, sir? He can be a bit of a crybaby.” She answered cheekily, a confused smile on her face. Levi’s face only darkened further.

“This is exactly what I mean, how was that necessary?” He asks her lowly.

She spares a glance at Eren, who is wringing the hem of his shirt in nervousness.

“It- I- It’s not, sir…” What else could she say? All Eren had done was win the Corporal’s affection, all he had done was unknowingly steal away what she’d been after for years, all he had done was-

“As I thought. Shape up, your attitude is annoying and unprofessional, I expect more from you.” Levi scolded, it cut extremely deep.

Eren spoke up then, voice timid and forgiving. “P-Petra, I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry if I -”

“Don’t apologize, she’s the one with a stick up her ass.” Levi cut in gruffly, it wasn’t unkind, just blunt. Just true.

“You’re dismissed, Ral.”

Ral. Not Petra, not a friend, Ral.

Eren was giving her an apologetic look, as though he had never meant to throw a wrench in what Petra had thought was her intimate relationship with Levi. He should be sorry, everything was his fault wasn’t it? If he had never-

“Dismissed.”

“Yes, sir.” She replied stiffly, and marched out if the office. She lingered outside of the door she’d closed behind her.

“I didn’t mean to start a fight between you two.” Eren’s muffled voice all but whimpered.

“Don’t you start, this isn’t your fault.”

Silence, she should go, but she stayed there, rooted in her place, listening.

“Oi, stop looking sorry for yourself and come here.” Levi ordered.

She should go.

“C-Corporal, it’s broad daylight!” Eren hissed after a distinct ruffle of clothing and the light squeak of a chair.

She should go.

“Mmn.” Levi mumbled noncommittally, followed a series of soft smacks, and Eren’s sweet sighs and reluctant moans.

“Corporal…!” He whines.

She leaves.

E♡L

She sees them snuggling and whispering to each other like childhood sweethearts, where they think no one can see them, no one can, except for her, she makes herself see it.

The way Eren childishly turns his head away when the older man whispers a particularly sweet nothing in his ear, one that has Levi smirking and Eren turning bright red.

The way Levi’s acting like a young boy with that wide grin on his face while he tries to catch Eren’s eyes to see the embarrassment he’s trying to hide from him.

She imagines herself in Eren’s place, where she should be. It should be Eren watching her and Levi longingly, wishing for him, not her. She was here first, she had thought Levi treated her as a favorite, as a potential lover, but that-

It was nothing compared to what he was giving Eren, it was like getting a lovely doll for a holiday, only to have your sibling get a far nicer one with a dollhouse and matching dress. It made her want to gag.

She’d always manage to pull herself away when things started to get intimate between the two of them, there was only so much she could take, seeing them so connected, so utterly in love…

It would break her.

E♡L

Petra had thought, surely she wasn’t the only one unhappy with their Corporal’s budding relationship? Surely her comrades were disgusted, Eren was another man after all, surely they’d agree the Corporal needed a woman, one who could offer him a family, much less a compatible body.

“They’re cute, aren’t they?” Gunter commented offhandedly, eyes on the happy couple, as most were, so in awe of the ever-aloof raven bending over backwards for his new sweetheart.

The two were engaged in a lazy game of “footsie” under the table, Eren’s thanks being given when Levi would sneak more extra meat onto Eren’s plate from his own. Along with the boy scolding him for not eating enough of his dinner.

“Y-you think so?” Petra asked in thinly veiled shocked.

“I’d say more adorable, but that’s just me.” Eld gushed. “The Corporal falling in love! It’s like a fairytale isn’t it? Can’t say I blame him though.” His brown eyes shifted to Eren in appreciation.

“Hmph, he’s got a cute face, be a better catch if he wasn’t such a brat though.” Oluo agreed reluctantly.

Petra was flabbergasted by everyone’s happiness over their coupling, did no one think that she was a better option?

“I’m so happy he’s happy.” Hanji sighed dreamily.

“Indeed, it’s refreshing. Though, I’m a little jealous, I must say.” Erwin adds with a chuckle.

He was happy, just with the wrong person.

E♡L

She had to take action, she wouldn’t lose years of yearning only to have them swept away by a green-eyed boy who had no right! She wrote shakily, yet elegantly on her best parchment, saved for letters to her family, she used extremely expensive red ink as she wrote out an enticing, provocative letter to her superior.

She wrote of how much her body yearned for him, how he held her heart in his hand, how she forgave him for being unknowing of her affection and that she was all too ready to show him how far it extended.

She wrote of a time and place, tonight, it said, by the forest, it begged, meet me there at midnight.

She would come to him like an alluring dryad, beckon him close with a whispered confession, he would be caught up in her beauty, he’d reach out for her, kiss her, hold her, he would be mad for her.

He would realize the error of his ways, see that Eren had only distracted him with his exotic looks, that he wasn’t really in love with the youth.

She’d forgive Eren, too, the poor boy had only been dragged into their romance by chance and she’d accept him and his broken heart because she was good. She’d hold him when he cried for Levi to come back to him, and let him know that he would find love with someone else.

Yes, it would be so perfect! Petra squealed girlishly as she reread her risque letter, and thought of her fairytale ending.

She daintily spritzed the letter with her best perfume, it smelled if roses and citrus, and sealed it in a decorated envelope with a rose shaped seal.

She gave it a kiss for good luck and snuck off to slip it underneath the Corporal’s door, scurrying off before anyone could see her.

Then skipped her way back to her own quarters to get ready, she had to look absolutely ethereal!

E♡L

She’d waited outside in the cold of midnight for him to show, she knew it had been nearly three hours since then from the moon’s place in the sky. That silly, sweet old man. He was just as shy as she’d expected from her suggestive words. She’d have to collect him herself.

A little less romantic than she imagined, but she was sure it would be something they would laugh at when they looked back. Just like his and Eren’s relationship.

She made her way to his sleeping quarters fondly.

She stopped suddenly in the hall as she went to knock on his door. Her heart dropped into her stomach and she stopped breathing altogether.

“Ah! Levi! Oh, oh Maria, a-ah!” A voice that was barely recognizable as Eren’s moaned.

Muffled but obvious slaps of skin against skin, the constant banging of a headboard against the wall, the squeaking of a bed frame.

“Eren, ah shit, Eren! Hah…!” Levi growled back.

Petra wanted to die.

“Hhmm, Levi! Feels so good!” The boy gasped, Petra tried and failed to keep from imagining him bouncing up and down on the mattress, hair splayed out around his head like a halo.

“Oh, baby, mhn, you’re so- Fuck!” Levi hissed, she could practically see his head thrown back in ecstasy.

She should walk away, she’d lost! Why couldn’t she just accept it and-

“Levi! I’m so close, a-ah, don’t stop!”

“Eren, Eren, oh hell…!”

She had to see it with her own eyes, she couldn’t accept it otherwise, she wouldn’t be able to snap out of her fantasy if she didn’t.

She found the door was unlocked, a blunder made in their passion most likely, and slowly, quietly peeked in, only enough to see.

See Levi hunched over Eren as the boy was jerked up and down across the bed, the raven plowing relentlessly as they both moaned and grunted at the feeling, the clash of dark tan against pale white, Eren absolutely helpless to do much more than hang on to his older lover’s shoulders and beg for release.

She could feel the tears running down her face at the way they never stopped looking into one another’s eyes.

“I’m- I’m going to-” Eren was trying so hard to speak, so lost in pleasure,

“Let go, cum for me!” Levi ordered,

Eren obeyed, with roll of his head and a long, sultry moan.

Sending Eren over must have triggered Levi as well, as his thrusts lost all rhythm and he instead shoved and pulled his hips in reckless abandon, riding out what could only be his own orgasm.

All at once, they collapsed against each other, breathing heavily as sweat glistened on their bodies. Eren absentmindedly stroked Levi’s hair as the man laid his head on the boy’s chest.

“I love you, so much, Levi.” The brunette cooed.

“I love you, I`m never going to let anyone take you away from me, Eren.” Levi panted back.

Petra stood their, frozen in her pretty dress and ruined make up, she didn’t know how long she stayed there, tears running down her face, a hand clutching the doorknob until her knuckles went white.

She didn’t move until a snore reached her ears and snapped her out of it. She shakily opened the door further, just enough to see her meticulously prepared letter laying forgotten right where she’d left it in front of the door. As Eren shifted slightly in his sleep, she quickly snatched it up and shut the door silently.

Her breath was heavy as she tore her way back to her room. The moment she entered, she viciously ripped her letter apart, near screaming with every new tear.

She ripped off her dress, and ran a rough hand across her face to get rid of the make up she had ruined already. She threw herself into her pillows, she was such a fool! How could she have blinded herself so much? To try and disregard the undying love in Levi’s eyes when he looked at Eren? How childish was she to turn on the poor boy who had done nothing wrong? To try and sabotage the happiness they shared?

She couldn’t believe herself.

Petra felt her heart breaking, felt her resolve finally crumble.

She was such a fool indeed.

E♡L

Breakfast was a bustling affair as always, and Petra was glad to blend into the background. Once again, the starry eyed couple was huddled together at their own little corner of the table, talking about who knew what.

Petra sat in near Eren, offering a chipper good morning to her comrades and digging into her meal, which apparently Eren had cooked up today.

“This is great, Eren!” She praised, as she didn’t know bread could be crisp and soft at the same time!

It was the first thing she’d said to him in weeks.

Eren was stunned for a few seconds, before a bright smile broke out on his face. “Thanks Petra!”

“Hey Petra, you okay? You look like shit.” Levi stated.

She really did, with her puffy red eyes and blotchy face.

She smiled sadly at their interlocked hands upon the tabletop.

“I’m just fine.”

And she was.

My Favorite Person [Connor Murphy x Reader]

Title: My Favorite Person
Pairing: Connor Murphy x Reader
Fandom: Dear Evan Hansen
Requested: by the lovely @rinzix
Summary: College!Friends with benefits | You’re thankful to have a friend like Connor, for more reasons than one, but you’re fun may soon be coming to an end, and Connor isn’t feeling like himself
Warnings: mentions of sex | Connor has a potty mouth | mentions of mental health relapses and recovery | brief allusions to domestic violence | first person reader
A/N: This was such a wonderful, fun prompt and it reeaallly got away from me, so I apologize in advance. Essentially, the summary is I will probably never let Connor Murphy be happy. As always, it’s really rushed and I didn’t proof read. Enjoy?


It never starts the way I expect it to.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m not complaining. It just doesn’t work out the way it does in the movies, ya know? I’ve never gotten a text at eleven pm asking me to sneak across the campus to his conviently empty dorm room, never received anything remotely similar to a booty call. It started on accident, like everything else Connor Murphy does. He doesn’t understand the sort of pull he has on people.

Connor Murphy was an absolute octopus, first off. I woke up early–much earlier than he ever would–underneath a pile of pale, lithe limbs that seemed to tangle around me in a number of places. I was sticky–definitely sweaty from sleeping too close to Connor, who apparently fell asleep on top of me like some kind of animal, but I also felt an uncomfortable squish between my thighs that reminded me of the drastic turn of events that happened last night.

To be perfectly clear, this wasn’t the first time we had done this. The first time had been planned–an accidental mishap that had spiraled out of control, beginning with texts (“Hey, would you mind to model for a piece I’m working on? I can’t find any decent reference poses online.”) and ended with some not so appropriate banter (“Are we sexting? Is this sexting? I mean I’m horny but like it’s gotta be smoother than this, right? Shit, do you have nudes??) that had snowballed into an agreement: we could fool around, platonically, because being in college and being ridiculously horny all the time and balancing a decent relationship was one thing too many.

Still, our first few times had been planned: I’d come over for pizza when Connor’s roommate was out, we’d play video games and watch a movie, and, at some point, Connor would lean over with little to no warning and kiss me much too roughly, taking me off guard–it usually either dissolved into a fit of giggles or ended up with me on my back staring up at the smooth column of his throat, watching his pale adams apple dip briefly as he groaned into my hair.

The sun was up, shining obnoxiously through Connor’s too thin quilted curtains, filtering across our tangled bodies. My shirt was still on, thankfully–I had no idea when his roommate would be back–but Connor was entirely nude (save for a pair of tie-dye tube socks, I can’t believe I slept with him while he was wearing that), sprawled on top of me, all pale skin and angles. From here, I could see the knobs of his spine pressing against the thin, pale skin of his back where my hand rested. One of his hands was fisted tightly in the fabric of my shirt, just over my stomach, and the other was dangling off the edge of the  bed, his thin wrist almost comically looking as if it would snap.

The smell of him was overwhelming, of course, it always was. I could still taste him if I ran my tongue across the backs of my teeth. I’d need a long shower to scrub away the smell if I wanted to think coherently today–Connor was definitely my favorite person, the only real  friend I’d made at school so far, but the very smell of him was going to make my brain short circuit.

We needed to have a discussion, needed to stop doing this every time we hang out. A limit. I sighed, remembering. We were going to have to have a talk anyway.

Reaching up gingerly, I ran my fingers against the knots on his back, tracing the triangles of his scapula and cupping the back of neck to run my fingers through the curls. His hair needed washed, badly, but I didn’t mind, just continued to soothe, feeling him sigh in his sleep against my neck. I grinned, feeling his nose press more firmly against the juncture of my neck and shoulder.

"Why are you awake?” He slurred, lips wet where they brushed my skin. His limbs went taunt, stretching before rolling over off of me, his arms slinging against his eyes.

“Ugh, can you cover up?” I groaned, sitting up and pulling a blanket to pool in my lap, trying to look anywhere but Connor. “It’s daylight now, it’s too vivid.”

He just chuckled, running his hands to scrub at his face in an attempt to wake up, pushing tangled curls out of his eyes, grinning at me. “Sorry, geez. Didn’t hear you complaining last night.” Nonetheless, he yanked the blanket over his lap, rolling over to look at me with a smirk.

“How’d you sleep?” He asked, tapping my forehead with his thumb, before leaning over to kiss me there. He didn’t move away, just hovered over me on an elbow, and surrounded by his scent left me vaguely dizzy. I’d miss it when I left here, I knew.

I scrunched my nose, letting him know that the affection was unnecessary, but he kept leaning over, pressing another kiss to my temple.

“I don’t remember,” I sighed honestly. “You kinda kept me up till two am.”

“What time is it now?”

“One.”

“Christ, sorry,” he laughed, sitting up immediately and pushing his hair back. “Guess I tired you out, huh?”

“Don’t get cocky. We were talking until twelve thirty, you only last half an hour, bucko,” I said, crawling quickly out of the bed and tugging on my panties.

“Ouch! Didn’t hear you complaining,” he chuckled, pulling his hair back into a ponytail holder. He was planning to let me shower first, then.

“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered, and I could tell that was the end of the discussion. We had a habit of skirting the topic during the daylight hours–if we talked about it, then we thought about it, and if we thought about it, then–well, you get the picture. “I’m gonna shower.”

——

By the time I’m out, my hair combed in wet strands sticking to the back of my neck and dressed in a clear pair of panties and one of Connor’s bigger shirts, Connor is sprawled on the bed, fully dressed, staring at a worn copy of T.S. Eliot poems, the green cloth binding fraying between his lithe fingers. The steam from the shower followed me in the room, making it look like a hazy 1970s Polaroid, accompanied by the warm light trying desperately to filter into the room through Connor’s quilted curtains.

He’s brushed his hair, I noticed, and there’s a lingering scent of cologne in an attempt to mask the smell of him–of us, if I’m being entirely honest–without showering. I nearly snorted aloud when I saw what he was wearing.

“That’s my shirt, you know,” I choked out between laughter, unable to believe that Connor fucking Murphy is wearing my tie dye crop top with a pair of ratty grey sweatpants. It was big on him, with a little pink embroidered heart stitched messily over the chest. The sweatpants rode high on his square hips, so all I could see was the slope of his ribs into the flat plain of his stomach, his belly button barely peaking out over the elastic waistband of his boxers, which rode a little higher than the sweats.

He looked up from the book, grinning lethargically, letting me know he was still barely awake. I probably should’ve let him sleep longer, but I needed to leave soon, and I wanted to tell him goodbye.

“I know,” he sighed lazily. “You left it here last time. It’s really soft.”

I bit back my smile, crossing the room to sit beside him. “Fair enough,” I conceded, tucking back a piece of hair that was beginning to slip from his ponytail.

“You’re wearing my shirt,” he pointed out, pouting his bottom lip.

“I forgot to bring a clean one,” I lied.

“You know you have extras here,” he said, suddenly frowning and returning to his book. I paused, unsure what had caused the sudden mood shift, and wanted to be careful moving forward in the conversation. “I mean, you can always borrow mine, I don’t care or anything–”

“You don’t want anyone to see me wearing it, I get it, I’ll switch back before I leave,” I said reassuringly, scooting away half an inch to give him space. It was easy to overload Connor–it wasn’t his fault, I really did understand. Sometimes social interaction was too much, especially when I’d spent almost twenty four hours with him, and we’d been so intimate.

“Fuck, I don’t care about that,” he hissed, flipping the pages of his book much too rapidly to be actually reading them. “Do you care about that?”

The second statement was shorter, softer, almost as if he didn’t want me to hear. It made me nervous–Connor had been doing better, a lot better. Throwing himself into school, into art, made him better. He wasn’t recovered–it was hard to tell if he ever would be, and I’d only ever seen a few of his episodes, but any form of relapse that I couldn’t help him control was unwanted.

“Of course I don’t care, Con,” I said softly, reaching up to soothe his hair softly, feeling him stiffen and relax beneath my fingertips. “Jeez, we’re in college. I couldn’t care less what people think.”

He nodded, eyes creased before closing, his lips pressed together in a frown. “Right, right, you’re right, sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” I muttered, feeling nervous. He certainly wasn’t in any mood to hear my news. Something was on his mind. “You good?”

“Huh? Yeah! Great, don’t sweat it!” He some how managed to morph his deer in the headlights expression into one of enthusiasm.  It was more than concerning, and I hadn’t noticed when he’d developed the ability to swallow back his feelings. I didn’t know why he felt like he needed to. “What’s the plan for today, kiddo? There’s a Clark Gable marathon on TCM tonight, I know you like that black and white crap.”

Shit. I swallowed thickly, realizing I needed to tell him, and now. I was hoping it would wait until at least after we had food in us, or at least until Connor was awake enough to reign in his emotions and think with a level head.

“When’s your roommate getting back?” I asked instead, scratching at the back of my neck and not meeting his gaze. I felt him squint angrily at me, aware of my avoidance. “Don’t want him to walk in on anything unseemly,” I laughed.

Connor was still watching me, I felt it, with a pinched, calculated expression. “We don’t have to fool around tonight,” he said softly. “We can just hang.”

His voice was that soft, melancholy tone again that made my heart constrict. He wasn’t feeling good, I realized. He clearly thought that I was upset with him–I wasn’t, but I realized with a jolt that my news certainly wasn’t going to help his sudden self conscious streak.

I shifted on the bed again, feeling his eyes on me as I delayed, and I could practically see his inner turmoil. I should stay here with him. He wasn’t doing well. But, I’d promised….

“Um,” I mumbled, pushing back my wet hair with my hand. “About that. I, uh, have plans for tonight.”

His eyebrows took a quick hike into his hairline, his slate eyes wide, before he horrified me by neutralizing his expression again before I could read him properly–he gave me a small smile, one that didn’t reach his eyes.

“Oh,” he said hoarsely. “That’s chill. You could’ve just told me that.”

I smiled gratefully back at him, reaching out to rest my hand on his knee. “You’re sure?” I asked softly, tracing a pattern out on the grey cotton knee of the sweatpants. He swatted my hand away, and I felt a sudden dip in my stomach. He was upset.

“Yes, geez,” he grumbled. “I am perfectly capable to spend a day without you, you know. I probably need to check in with my folks, anyway.”

“You’re sure?” I asked again, leaning back, a bit more skeptical. Connor saying he wanted to check in with his parents was the boldest lie I’d heard in a long time.

“Yes, Christ, shut it,” he hissed, flopping onto his back, the crop top riding comically up on his stomach, and, without thinking, I leaned forward quickly to press a wet kiss to the cluster of freckles on his ribcage, earning a loud swear from Connor, followed by a slew of giggles, his thin hands pushing at my hair to pull me away from his ticklish sides.

“Stop it! Stop! Christ–st–” he sat up abruptly and tangled his hands into my hair, yanking me down against him, his bare chest trapped between us, soft against my palms.

What had started as a gentle joke, just a silly peck, escalated as it tended to. It was slow–Connor’s laughter dying quickly in his chest, his breath hitching in the back of his throat instead. I opened my eyes to glance down at him, his eyes closed, his eyelashes flickering against his cheeks. I pulled back, just for a moment, amazed to find his lips parted, head tilted back, obvious that he expected me to move my lips to neck. I just chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to the cleft of his chin.

“Not this morning, Con,” I whispered, kissing behind his ear.

“Just kissing,” he whispered, letting out a shuddering breath into my hair. Eyes still closed, his hands tightened in my shirt in an attempt to keep me against him.

“You know it won’t stop there,” I laughed. He pouted beneath me.

“But–I’m not wearing a bra. I’m all ready to fool around!” Connor snorted, hands digging harshly into my sides as he laughed.

I smothered my laugh against his jugular, fighting to control my breathing, before pushing myself up against Connor’s chest.

“Not now,” I sighed sadly, giving him a closed mouth kiss against his lips, watching his eyes fade as he chased me for another kiss.

“Okay,” he sighed. “Sorry, my fault.” Throwing a hand over his eyes, he groaned, tangling his fingers in his pretty, pulled back hair.

“Don’t be sorry,” I mumbled.

“Later,” he smiled against his fist, slate eyes staring up at the ceiling with amusement. “Later. Christ, no one told me my libido would get a second wind after fourteen.”

“You’ve always got your hand,” I reminded with a chuckle, rising from the bed to stretch. Distance, I needed distance to think. He wrinkled his nose in disdain.

“Yeah, no thanks, not the same.”

There was a beat of silence, where I caught Connor watching me from the bed, before turning away with a pinched expression. It triggered an oddly sick feeling in my stomach–I shouldn’t feel guilty. I shouldn’t. This was just fun, Connor was just my friend, nothing more.

“So, uh,” he coughed. “What was your plan for tonight?”

I stiffened, turning around to sit on the edge of the bed with my back to him, beginning to braid my hair. The bed dipped suddenly, and Connor’s leg was flush with mine, the other folded behind my back, and Connor’s fingers wove into my wet hair, beginning to plait it silently.

“I have a date.”

His hands stilled, just briefly, and I felt myself relax when his fingers began again. He hadn’t taken a single breath.

“Oh?”

“Yeah.”

“Who with?” Cold. Uninterested. I growled low in my throat.

“Not sure. Some guy my mom set me up with–they’re pissed I don’t have a boyfriend, you know,” I reminded, and Connor just grunted in affirmation.

“You have no idea who he is?” Connor groaned in disgust. 

I shrugged. “He goes to school here–I think his name is Jared? He’s a business major. My mom is very impressed.”

Now, Connor really paused, his fingers abandoning the braid to snap his hands down into his lap.

“You know him?” I asked.

“Jared Kleinman?” Connor hissed, not looking at me.

“I think?” I said skeptically, unsure what about this kid had Connor in such a state.

“He’s an ass,” Connor growled. “An absolute asshole, bully, short-stack, scum bag, and you can’t go out with him. You can’t go out with that jerk off, trust me, okay? As your friend, I forbid you.”

I’d been taking everything Connor said seriously up to that point–it took a lot to make Connor that verbose, let alone that enraged–he’d been working on getting better, he really had–but his final statement made my eyes snap open, throwing my body off the bed.

“You forbid me?” I hissed, spinning with a wicked laugh. “I’m not your girlfriend, Connor. You can’t stop me from doing shit, okay?”

His eyes widened–in shock or shame, I wasn’t sure–sliding back up onto the bed. “I didn’t mean, fuck, I’m just trying to look out for you, okay? He’s bad news. He was–fuck, he was such an ass in highschool, okay?”

“And people can’t change, right?” I laughed crudely, watching the muscle twitch in his jaw. I’d pressed a button. Good. His eyebrows furrowed down over his glare, and I saw his hands clench and unclench in his lap. He’d caught my eyes flickering to them, and immediately looked helpless, wiping them on his jeans.

“I’m not having a fit,” he promised. “I’m not gonna hit you, I fucking swear to–”

“I know,” I lied, softening my posture and  looking away from him. “I know, Con. You’re not gonna hurt me again.”

Truth be told, he might. Relapse was easy–I knew, I’d seen it in teaspoon sized doses, whether be him throwing me against the door with too much force or be it a fist coming to connect on the wall behind my head after I gave a particular nasty comment. Connor had never hit me, not hard, but he almost had, and he’d said a few nasty things, broken some things of mine.

We were friends because I trusted him, because I didn’t want to leave him just because this felt hard. But I wouldn’t let Connor talk to me like that again, I’d promised myself. It meant a time out–no sex, no talking, not until he could calmly apologize and talk through what he was feeling.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed, scrubbing his hands over his eyes–he’d forgotten to paint his nails this week, I noticed, but his wrist had flowering patches of indigo and lavender peppered along his arm like blooming bruises–they were just left over from his last art class Friday. He really needed a shower, I realized.

“Don’t be sorry,” I said again, leaning against the bathroom’s doorjamb in lieu of joining him on the bed. If I sat on the bed, I’d want to touch him, and as much as he deserved reassurance, he didn’t need the positive reinforcement. He had to learn I was a finite fixture. “That Jared kid–he said something to you, right? In school. You didn’t like each other.”

Connor laughed mirthlessly, filling my stomach with lead. “Yeah, you could say that. He’s one of those weasely kids, ya know? With just shitty underhanded comments they get out of Mad magazine. Gets under your skin.”

It was too easy to picture, embarrassingly so, I thought, watching Connor now with his eyes downcast and his mouth pursed, I could still see him, just a year ago, and some punk kid whose comment landed on its mark. He probably sent Connor into fits.

I tried too hard not to picture Connor those nights, crying disgustingly in the shower, banging his head too hard against the tile, replaying over and over in his head what that little shit had said to him.

I didn’t want to go out with him. I hadn’t wanted to to begin with. But, I had to. I’d promised.

“I’m really sorry, Con,” I sighed softly, thunking my head against the doorjamb in punishment. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“Don’t be,” he laughed bitterly again. “’S over now.” He held his arms open, silently asking me to come back down to him, just to make up. “Just because you’re sucking his cock now–”

He froze, eyes bugging out of his head, staring at something on the ceiling I couldn’t make out from here. My stomach churned uneasily, and the tips of my ears got uncomfortably warm. Connor sat up slowly, bracing himself on his arms, staring at the wall with a horrified expression. He was vaguely green around the collar of my shirt.

“You wanna stop. That’s why you told me. You wanna stop.”

I swallowed thickly. “Con–”

“Christ, kid! What happened to relationships and sex and school are too much? We said–”

“It’s out of my hands!” I gasped, Connor’s glare finally snapping to mine, melting me into the floor. “I don’t want to go out with him–you know my mom expects me to–”

“Fuck, I know, you’re parents want you to be a fucking baby factory with a rich husband, I know, okay?” He groaned, shoving his hands into his hair and dislodging the ponytail holder, his dark hair cascading around his shoulders, his whole expression pinched.

I flinched, shutting my eyes, wishing desperately to be somewhere else. He didn’t mean it, he was angry–it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

“It’s just to appease my mom,” I sighed quietly, disgusted to realize how wet and broken my voice sounded. “Just to say I have a boyfriend, to keep her out of my hair. Otherwise she’d be down here every week, and I’d never be able to see you–”

“What if I pretended to be your boyfriend?” He said suddenly, making my gaze snap to his, despite my discomfort. He was staring seriously at me, and I felt sick to realize he was sincere.

“Trust me, Con, you don’t wanna do that.”

To subject him to that kind of scrutiny would be unfair. Connor was my favorite person in the world right now, and, despite coming from a good family, my mother would be less than thrilled to hear I was involved with an art major with a juvenile record.

He snorted. “I know I’m no Jared–”

“Don’t,” I glared. “Don’t. I’m sorry, but yeah, we can’t have sex for awhile, okay?”

“Fuck,” he hissed.

I felt sick–like crying. “I’m sorry if that ruins our friendship for you. I thought you might be able to tolerate spending time with me when I’m not getting you off.”

Connor’s horrified expression let me know he hadn’t actually thought of that, but it didn’t mean he hadn’t known.

“Hey,” he said softly, rolling off the bed to stand, his hands out stretched as if he was scared to spook me. “Hey, that’s not–hey, don’t cry.”

“Fuck off.”

“No,” he growled, coming forward to wrap his arms around me, still wearing that stupid crop top, pressing his face into my neck. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that,” he murmured, his lips brushing my jaw. “You come first, you always come first. I’d rather have you than sex, you know that, right?”

His fingers scraped under my shirt to press against my skin, pulling me tighter to him, his fingertips tripping with friction.

“I know,” I sighed, going limp against him and wrapping my arms around his neck–it felt nice just to be close. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Fair enough.”

He pulled back, reaching up to cup my face, his fingertips burning where they thumbed my cheeks, wiping away the stray tears. He stared down at me so intently, and I realized he was still scared.

“Before your lame ass date, you wanna get some take out?” He asked with a crooked grin, leaning in to kiss my forehead quickly.

“Fine, but you have to change,” I giggled, pulling away despite his protests to grab my purse from his desk.

“I refuse to change–this color looks too good on me.”

——

“I can’t believe you’re gonna wear one of my shirts on your date with that wank,” Connor groaned, watching me button up one of his shirts over my chest, shaking his head. “He’s gonna try to cop a feel–it’s like he’s grabbing my boob, kid. That’s the worst violation of all.”

I rolled my eyes, brushing my hair back from my forehead. “First off, they’re still my boobs, but I promise I’ll bring the shirt back in mint condition. I doubt I’ll be kissing him tonight.”

Connor grinned around a mouthful of rice–he was cute like that, I realized, cheeks full and eyes crinkled with a smile. His mood had flipped swiftly, thank goodness, despite the fact it had started to pour outside, the sky pitch black despite the fact it was still early in the afternoon.

“Maybe he’ll buy you something nice,” Connor grinned. “I’m sure he’s loaded. If he brings a friend, make sure you hit on him.”

I snorted, but pulled on my slightly dirty skinny jeans anyway. “If he brings his friend on a date, I’m walking out and taking you home for thanksgiving.”

Connor grinned again. “God, that’d be rich.”

Thunder pounded through the room, making Connor’s hair products shake on his desk, causing me to jump back onto the bed to be near Connor.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared,” he teased softly, glancing out the window to see the downpour. “Christ, maybe you should stay in tonight. Last thing you need is to be trapped in some shitty French restaurant with mademoiselle rat face.”

“You’re hilarious,” I said bitterly, watching the leaves paste themselves to the window pane. “But, maybe I should reschedule. That’s not a shitty thing to do, right? It looks awful out there.”

“Nah,” Connor said around another mouthful. “Plus, if you do, we can have one last hoorah–okay, you’re right, sorry.”

I just grinned, hitting him lightly upside the head. “You can finish up in the shower, pretty boy.”

He frowned. “Fine.”

I pursed my lips, glaring out into the storm again. “I should call Jared ask him to reschedule,” I sighed again, feeling only vaguely guilty. I mean, what were the odds Jared even wanted to go on this date? Our parents set us up, for goodness’ sake.

I wondered briefly if Connor had worn this shirt in highschool, if Jared would recognize it.

“I highly recommend standing him up,” Connor said chipperly. “Allow me to hand you your phone–”

Connor froze, still half stretched across the bed, staring at my phone on the nightstand.

“Oh my God.”

“What?” I asked, concerned. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh my God,” Connor said again, this time dissolving into a fit of giggles, yanking my phone off the charger and throwing it on the bed. “I can’t believe this!”

“Connor, if you don’t tell me–”

“He stood you up!”

“What?” I screeched, fumbling for my phone, surprised to see a few missed texts on my home screen.

From: Jared
To: Me

Srry 4 the short notice, do you think we coukd meet some other time? Don’t wanna get caught in the strom

“He can’t even spell,” I muttered in disgust, throwing my phone onto Connor’s bare stomach that shook with laughter.

“This is hilarious, oh my God. It’s so sad, you look so cute and everything! You were gonna put on mascara for that asshole!”

“I’m gonna dump this soy sauce on your shirt, Murphy.”

“Sorry, sorry, geez!”

He put down his plastic fork, reaching across the mattress to stroke his hand across my bare arm. For a minute, I thought he might ask me how I felt, but instead just asked, “Are you up for a round of Battlefront?”

I grinned, beginning to undo pearline buttons of Connor’s nice navy shirt. “I’m gonna kick your ass.”

He grinned, eyes crinkling at the corners and his lips cracking with the force of his smile. “I look forward to it.”

Sweater Weather

SUMMARY  - You read Bucky’s diary after an unfortunate event .

WARNINGS - ANGST , DEATH ( I maybe cried a little while writing this)

Sorry in advance . 

A/N - This is for Annie’s @hellomissmabel 1K celebration shuffle challenge . 

Taw @supersoldierslover Thank you so much babe . 

Everything in italics is from Bucky’s journal. 

MASTERLIST 

Originally posted by merci-angel

I was scared . I didn’t know what to say and if I had to say anything at all. I felt extremely uncomfortable with the number of people around me . I felt guilt . I didn’t understand why they would welcome me to their house after everything I had done . You were the last person Steve introduced me to. The wide smile and the genuine sparkle in your eyes gave me comfort . I hoped to stay away from you in fear of hurting you too like I did to the other in the room .

  All I am is a man
I want the world in my hands
I hate the beach
But I stand in California with my toes in the sand

Well , at first I tried to stay away but wasn’t very effective . You seemed comfortable around me , no hesitance in sparking up a conversation or just sitting next to me watching the television . Your soft smile directed towards me every time our eyes met made me happy for some reason . It gave me ease. My otherwise tense body would slouch a little and I would breathe lighter . It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. I didn’t know what to do when you feel asleep on my shoulder . I just sat there looking at how peaceful you looked hoping that one day I could sleep as sound as you were.

Use the sleeves of my sweater
Let’s have an adventure
Head in the clouds but my gravity’s centered
Touch my neck and I’ll touch yours
You in those little high waisted shorts, o

It has been a few months here now and I feel settled . Well you make me feel that way . And the others too have shown so much acceptance that I will forever be grateful . I have become welcoming to touches and conversations. Maybe it is just me but I feel that for some reason you spend a lot of time with me . I like it . I like to think that you care for me . Sam and I don’t really get along that well but I still like him because I heard him giving an earful to an agent who said that I was a monster and I killed people and that I was dangerous . Man !!! I have never seen him so angry . I was very happy to know he cared too .

  She knows what I think about
And what I think about
One love, two mouths
One love, one house
No shirt, no blouse
Just us, you find out
Nothing that wouldn’t wanna tell you about no

I didn’t really expect Tony to ever talk to me after discovering the truth that  I had killed his parents . But today , he started working on a prosthetic arm for me and he called me to his lab . He was so gentle touching my arm . I couldn’t get the guilt off myself and I found tears rolling down my eyes while I whispered ‘I’m sorry .’   He said nothing . He just hugged me . I didn’t think I deserved such kindness but it eased me mind and heart . He just patted my shoulder and walked out of the lab .

  ‘Cause it’s too cold whoa
For you here and now
So let me hold whoa
Both your hands in the holes of my sweater

So…..It been some time since I flirted with somebody . And it was a little surprising to know that girls are pretty good at it . In my time it was the guy who had to woo the ladies . But I didn’t really mind the other way around . Not that I would recognise it if someone actually flirted with me . ‘Listen to me dude , I know for sure she likes you.’ Sam whispered into my ear while we were all sitting in the common room having dinner . I looked at Steve for some help . ‘ I think so too . I mean , she’s been pretty flirty with you lately .’ He said shrugging . Flirty??? You flirted with me??  I liked you but never did I think you would like me back . I found myself blushing every time you looked at me after this new found information .

  And if I may just take your breath away
I don’t mind if there’s not much to say
Sometimes the silence guides our minds to
So move to a place so far away

I tried ok? I tried to be cool and flirt back but even I was cringing at my horrible attempts . I was hoping that the charm back in the 40’s would come back but they didn’t . But thank fucking god you were good at it . ‘ Would you ….Would you like to go on a date with me Bucky?’ you asked and I truly couldn’t my ears . I was screaming and jumping in joy all in my mind . I could only nod with a wide smile etched on my face .

  The goosebumps start to raise
The minute that my left hand meets your waist
And then I watch your face
Put my finger on your tongue
'Cause you love the taste yeah

It was the most wonderful 4 months of my life . I couldn’t be happier . Laying beside you on the bed with you wearing my maroon sweater with your head on my chest made me want to stay like this forever . It’s the best night of sleep I have ever gotten . I couldn’t take the images of last night from my head . The feel of your lips against my body , your soft hands running over my scars , looking at them like they are the most beautiful scars you have ever seen . They once made me feel ashamed of myself , a constant reminder of the day I turned into someone I hate now . But you make them look like battle scars . Like I endured all this pain and came out alive .

  These hearts adore,
Every other beat the other one beats for
Inside this place is warm
Outside it starts to pour

2 years and I still get butterflies in my tummy when you smile . I hope I can always see you smiling that way .I hope I save you from the horrors of the world and keep you say . I will never let anyone make you cry . I found myself blankly staring at you and wondering how the fuck I got so lucky .

Coming down
One love, two mouths
One love, one house
No shirt, no blouse
Just us, you find out
Nothing that I wouldn’t wanna tell you about, no no

After everything I did I didn’t think I would have a chance at a normal life much less a chance at love . But you….uhhhh I don’t know what to say . I could have never imagined the life I am living today . I want to hold you in my arms and cherish you forever . That’s when it hit me…..

 Cause it’s too cold whoa
For you here
And now
So let me hold whoa
Both your hands in the holes of my sweater

It wasn’t just Steve who was helping me out but it was also Nat , Wanda and Sam. How the fuck did they even know ?? Steve and Sam were mostly useless since they only teased me all the time but Nat and Wanda actually gave me tips . Nat helped me pick out the ring and Wanda helped me out in calming my nerves and helping me with the speech . I had to get this all ready before the mission and Tony also promised me that he would make a romantic atmosphere on the roof for when I come back so that my proposal could be the best .

'Cause it’s too cold whoa
For you here and now
So let me hold whoa
Both your hands in the holes of my sweater
 

I was going to be off to the mission by tomorrow morning and I knew I will miss you a lot . So I kept you close to me all day . Kissed you and hugged you every chance I could get . And at night I when I found you on the bed hugging my sweater to your chest already asleep I pulled you against me chest and fell asleep . I wanted to tell you before I went but you were fast asleep and I didn’t want to disturb you . I can’t wait to get back .

But he didn’t . Well technically he did get back . But he didn’t get back alive . You held the book against your  chest , tears flowing down your face staining the sweater as your body shook violently against Steve’s chest . You didn’t understand how he was able to contain himself . You knew he was dying inside . So were you .You couldn’t believe it . How could this happen? It’s not true !! Bucky can’t be dead!! He said he’s come back . He said he’d propose to you .

“Steve??? Please!!!! Bring him back !!! He wouldn’t leave me like this . He loves me !!!” You cried turning around to face Steve ,clutching his shirt shaking him trying to get him to speak . But he didn’t . He just wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close as he silently cried .

You pushed him away .

“Steve!!! He’s…..He’s not dead . I love him . He..he…..please….” You begged . You couldn’t accept the fact that he is gone . The man that you love , you will never be able to see again .

Everybody’s heart broke to see you this way , Tony wanted to come and console you but he couldn’t get himself to do it . He was in shock too .

“Do you want to see him?” Steve asked softly as he wiped his tears with the back of his hand .

You shook you head no . “ No.. I don’t ….My Bucky is dead Steve!! Our Bucky is dead Steve…I…” He pulled you back against his chest as you sobs grew louder . You stayed there hoping that this was all just a nightmare . You kept staring at the door hoping that Bucky would run through it and kiss you . Hoping that he would hold you against him as you slept . But that never came . Steve slowly lifted you and took you to where Bucky’s body was kept . You felt nauseous . The tears crept back in threatening to spill.

And they did as soon as you saw his lifeless body on the bed . You couldn’t go closer . You didn’t want to touch him and make it all real . Still hoping that this was a horrible nightmare .

The next few days went so quick. You had no time to register what was happening around you . You just went with the flow and so did Steve . Still unable to accept that he lost his best friend for the second time.

After the funeral and everything you came back to your room and hopped on your bed . That’s when you realised . This was all true . Bucky is gone . Your breathing became heavier as you head started to ache . His sweater on the pillow , and you bought it to your body . You turned around not able to look at the empty place on the bed next to you . The book that you had read had a box on top of it which caught your eye . You knew what it was . But you couldn’t …you couldn’t look at it . You didn’t want to look at it . The reality of never seeing him ever again , never hearing his voice , never able to touch him , never able to look into his blue eyes again but most importantly look at his beautiful smile that you would die for. And even though you had his sweater with you , you felt cold . Cold and empty. 

Life is cruel. As soon as it gave him a second chance it snatched it away from him .

It’s too cold,
It’s too cold
The holes of my sweater
 


LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF THIS FIC . AND IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGS SEND IN AN ASK OR COMMENT . 


@justareader @buckyappreciationsociety @topkay @hopelessgarbage @melconnor2007 @magellan-88 @mcfuccfairy @psychicwitchphilosopher @the-witching-hours12-3 @badassbaker @superantonija @elwenia @elwin-smaragd @mytrueself @panickedpandaposts @tol-sam @emilyevanston @always-an-evans-addict @mjcumberbatch @crazybutcollected @yknott81 @winterboobaer @chipilerendi @aingealcethlenn @hollycornish @iamwarrenspeace @mrshopkirk @sexy-sea-basss @thewinterswimmer @cassandras-musings @imgettingmarriedtobuckybarnes @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19 @alwaysbella @purplekitten30 @supernatural-girl97 @melissalovesmusicyay @riddikuluslyemily @4theluvofall @colorfulv @s8sense @booksb4boys69 

The crossed ones tumblr didn’t let me tag . Sorry . 

Klance - Shopping in Space and Gift Giving

So, this is a headcanon that I got reaaaally carried away with. Big thanks to @treasuredbuns for giving me the prompt and bearing through the ridiculous number of messages the headcanon came in!

Since I’m only my laptop, and this is a VERY long headcanon, I will put it below the ‘keep reading’ to save you from having to scroll forever if Klance and ridiculous amounts of fluff is not your thing.

Prompt: Voltron team goes shopping for new clothes at the space mall

Apologies for any mistakes, and feel free to give prompts!

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Everlark for number 29? Your fics are great, keep on writing!

So, um…this prompt is two years old. Yikes. But anyways, the requested dialogue phrase is “I thought you were dead,” and it will be a miracle if the Anon who sent this even remembers sending it (*crazed laughter*). Anyhow, this prompt along with a few reviews shook something loose in my head and the below 4K+ word vomit happened. Not beta’d, so forgive my mistakes, also the end feels rushed but short of completely rewriting Catching Fire this is what you get. It is a continuation of something that is a year old, which you can read on:

tumblr

AO3

or FF

your choice. You’re gonna want to read that part first. And before you ask…yes there’s a third part in the works. So now I have to figure out how to post this part to the other sites when I said I wouldn’t expand it. Why do I do this to myself? I should be working on ms2sl or It’s All a Lie. Enough whining! Rated M for sexy times. Enjoy.


It takes a good two minutes for what they’re suggesting to sink into my brain. As soon as it does, I shake my head vigorously. “I’m not saying that.”

“Come on, Katniss. Your mother will know it’s a lie.” As if that would be my only real objection.

“No!” I shout at Gale but my eyes are drawn to Peeta, sitting in one of the bright chartreuse armchairs, hands clenched with his forearms resting on his thighs. There’s a strange tick in his jaw and a gaping chasm between us that I don’t know how to breach. My next words are directed at him. “This was your idea, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” he whispers. My eyes burn and bile rises in my throat as I run from the room.

“Catnip,” Gale pleads. He hasn’t called me that unless there’s a camera around since before the last Games.

“Let him talk to her and explain,” I hear Haymitch say and I know that Peeta’s following me. I run to the only place I can think of that might allow me to talk freely, so long as the wind is howling like it was last night. A cold blast of wind hits me when I reach the roof, bringing me to an abrupt halt. Peeta’s warmth crashes into my back. I didn’t think he’d be able to catch up that quickly.

Keep reading

Now Is the Time to Know (That All That You Do Is Sacred)

For @starscythe and the beautiful art she made for Dark OQ Week, Day 1: Getting to Know You. Title taken from Hafiz. [ffn | ao3]

Special thanks to @repellomuggletum15 for being a badass beta, and to @robin-of-locksley for inspiring a line in this.


They got acquainted with each other’s bodies first.

One drink had turned into two (he insisted on buying that one as well), and their coy little glances had grown bolder, heating and opening up to one another in clear looks of want.

And oh what a glorious mess they had made of the tavern that night.

It was strange, in the beginning, to know him and yet not – in a purely physical sense, they were nearly identical, these two Robins who had both breezed into her life at a time when second chances felt like something impossible to her.

The same blue eyes. Those same strong arms (the way they learned to hold her, too). Even that scar up his bicep, the long lines of muscle that swooped down his waistline and tensed whenever she traced them with her tongue.

But the similarities ended there.

The way that he moved, the sound of his groan as he pressed into her – trying to remember a different Robin in him was like opening a book to find the chapters had all been rewritten, and it took a few moments of fumbling with this new kind of intimacy for her to realize how little it mattered in the end.

She was not the same Regina, nor the same Evil Queen, and her different with his different came together so naturally that she eventually decided it was useless to question or dwell on it too long.

She’d made a vow not to waste any more time with this man.

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Wanted

This is my entry for @d-s-winchester and her 4k bon jovi celebration challenge! I choose the awesome song wanted dead or alive :)

Characters: Sam x Reader, Dean, Cas (mentioned), a monster or two

Word count: 2,048 (italics are reader’s thoughts and the line of the song I used is bolded)


“I can’t Sam”.

Shock. Confusion. Disbelief. All those and more showed on Sam’s face. I wasn’t surprised; after all the number of times I had said no to the Winchesters before today was exactly 0. But what he was asking of me? I just couldn’t.

“Y/N, what do you mean you can’t?” Sam’s voice was steady even if his mind was working overtime “I know you don’t do many hunts but either me or Dean will be with you at all times”. Of course I knew that even before he said it, the entire time I’d known them they’d protected me.

Dropping the box on the floor I took a couple of deep breathes cursing that the elevator had been broken. I had finally saved enough to get my own place and today I had moved the last of my stuff in. Sure the wiring was dodgy and the A/C kept dropping on and off but it was all mine…a home. 3 weeks later however and I was ready to snap. I had spent money I barely had just to be told that there was nothing wrong with the wiring or the A/C but that didn’t change the fact that they still kept having a mind of their own.  

A knock on the door pulled me from my murderous thoughts. Opening it I almost did a double take at the 2 ridiculously good looking men stood there. “Y/N Y/L/N?” asked the one nearest me, bright green eyes glancing past me into my apartment.
“Yes that’s me.”  
“Agent Bonham and this is Agent Page from the FBI. Wondered if we could ask you a couple of questions about the deaths that happened a few days ago”. The deaths in question had been my upstairs neighbours.
“Oh I’m not sure how much I’d be able to help I was at work at the time”  
“Well this is more general questioning, background on the couple that sort of thing” said the taller man.

40 minutes later and I was showing the two agents out, the taller one giving me his card and telling me to call if I needed. Pulling my hair up into a ponytail my mind went over the conversation I’d just had. Having never spoken to the FBI or any sort of police for that matter I wasn’t sure just what kind of answers they’d been looking for. They’d seemed almost disappointed at the news that the couple had been the perfect example of loves young dream and that I didn’t know much about the buildings history. And the noise the green eyed one had made when I mentioned about my wiring. Surely the FBI had no interest in that sort of thing.

A couple of days later and my world turned upside down. This figure had just appeared in my home and tried to kill me. Locking myself in the bathroom I scrambled for my purse and hoped that I wasn’t about to sound too crazy. “Agent Page speaking.”
“Um, hi, my names Y/N, you and your partner came round a few days ago?” I shakily got out.
“Yes I remember.  Is everything Ok?” Everything was not ok. The man was stood right in front of me. How the hell had he got past the locked door? Which was still locked?
“Please agent come quick someone’s trying to kill me!” I couldn’t say anymore then that as the man’s cold hands wrapped round my throat and threw me through the door. I gasped, trying desperately to find someway of getting him off me. My fingers curled round my fire poker and I swung wildly, disbelief and fear setting in as the man flickered and then disappeared.  

That was how I found out that everything you were scared of as a kid you should be scared of as an adult. Sam and Dean burned the painting the ghost was tethered to and saved me. And I’ve been in the hunting life ever since. Not really the active side of things, more as a researcher/alibi provider type of thing. Sam said to me once that only an old friend of theirs was better at remembering lore and legends. Dean was a bit more crass with it, telling Cas that I could bullshit my way through anything. And that’s how the Winchesters became my best friends, friends that I would do anything for because without them I’d have been dead a long time ago.

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I had a prompt for Heith where people in Hunk’s past were cruel to him and Keith helped him through the struggle. I’m so sorry, my inbox seems to have eaten the request!! I have no idea where it went. I hope that this is what you were looking for :)

Hunk looked at his hands and didn’t know what to do with them.

People had always told him that they were big and clumsy, warning him to be careful, admonishing him to be gentle. He’d always been bigger than the other kids, that meant he had to make sure he didn’t accidentally hurt anyone by playing too rough or just existing. They expected him to be awkward, telling him so often that he’d started to believe it himself. He lived in that fear, never being good enough and always afraid that someone was going to be hurt. That it would be all his fault.

He’d tried to do something better with the hands they called clumsy and too-big. He trained them to take apart the insides of machines, learning the delicate systems and how they worked. He could fix things that were broken, finding the missing, cracked pieces inside and make them better. He could improve it beyond what it had been built for.

Hunk had trained his hands to cook, to find the artwork in creation and innovation. Food was just like machines, he could bring the pieces together into something new and create something that was better than it used to be. He could make people happy with these hands. At least he tried.

Now they put a weapon in them and told him to fight when all he wanted to do was run away.

“Hey Hunk, I didn’t see you at dinner.”

A voice startled him out of his thoughts and he looked up at Keith, the Red Paladin leaning in the doorway. Keith never had the same problems, he threw himself into battle like he was born for it. Shiro too, he faced down the Galra with grim determination and tore them apart with his bare hands. Even Lance and Pidge stood their ground, Pidge cutting the foes down with her bayard close enough to be burned by the Galra-bot sparks and Lance bragging about his sharpshooting skills.

When he hesitated, they all thought he was afraid.

“I just wasn’t that hungry, it’s okay.” He had never been a good liar and Keith picked up on it right away. The Red Paladin moved to sit down beside him and Hunk didn’t protest.

“I know the fight today was a bit more intense than we realized, but we all got out of it in one piece. We took the Galra down, there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Keith offered, not really used to reassuring others but learning how to be a friend.

Hunk looked down at his hands. It wasn’t fear, not in the way they thought. He was more afraid of himself than anything.

“That’s not…you ever think that I’m not supposed to be here?”

Keith blinked in surprise. “Of course you’re supposed to be here.” He said, matter-of-factly. “Who else would pilot the Yellow Lion?”

“I don’t know, anyone? Someone who’s a better fighter?” Hunk sighed, hunching his shoulders uncomfortably like he could somehow make himself smaller. “I don’t think I’m made for this.”

“Because you hesitated today?”

“Yeah.”

Keith frowned thoughtfully. “I know that you’re nervous, but you’ve never backed down when we’ve been in trouble before. You figured out how to get the scaltrite from the weblum too and saved both of our lives. You’re just doubting yourself.”

“It’s more than that.” Anger edged Hunk’s words and he folded his hands together, safe and quiet in his lap where they couldn’t do any more harm. “All you guys are so good at all of this and I’m not. You know I’m not. I don’t like fighting, I don’t know if I want to do this.”

“But you want to help people?”

The question hung in the air and Hunk knew it would be his undoing. He always wanted to help, he wanted to make everyone happy. He’d spent his whole life learning how to make things instead of destroying them, was fighting really the only way now? He couldn’t just be someone who smashed things apart, using all that strength and anger he buried inside so it wouldn’t hurt anyone. That’s not who he was, he’d tried so hard to define himself as something else.

“I don’t want to hurt anybody.” He admitted softly. “All I want to do is make things.”

Keith reached out and gently unknotted Hunk’s hands, coaxing them apart before lacing his fingers with Hunk’s own. “And that’s exactly why we need you.”

Yo nerds

July is gonna be an interesting month for me, why you ask? i need to raise £400 before august. I already have saved alot and ive calculated to reach my goal i need 21 people to commission me a £10 drawing.

Why this insane task? If i can earn this money in time i can get the chance to work with a voice actor/animator and now game designer kirbopher. He essentially is someone who helped mold my art to the style it is today and find myself as an artist.The chance to work side by side with him to add my character into his game as a fully animated boss would be something id cherish forever. Now of course i have to fight thousands of people trying to get the 7 places when that kickstarter opens but i really want to have that chance.

What can you do to help? As stated before i just need 21 people who would be willing to get a commission from me, If you cannot do this but would still like to help me in the long run you can signal boost this to anyone you’d think could help.

My commission info can be seen here: http://starlightsruby.tumblr.com/…/hereeess-an-update-falls…


Thank you so much for reading and i hope to work my hardest this month (also yes i am trying to get a job but the risk of me not getting one before the months over is a scary chance so this is a safe bet)

One Question about 7x20

Alex had to have known Mona killed Charlotte, right? That’s why the game stopped. Then how come Alex is working with the girl who murdered her beloved sister? We can see she wants Spencer’s life and friends but finding out and bringing to justice your sister’s murder seemed to be super important a minute ago. I didn’t want anything to happen to Mona but if she needed saving that could’ve made more sense.

I just don’t get how her motives flipped so fast and how she decided to work with Mona just to bring down her “toxic and problematic” sister twin?

Every Unanswered PLL Question from every episode

Since I think the Charles is CeCe reveal is fake, I’m going to watch the show from the beginning and see what questions I have. (Any “answers” given in Game Over, Charles are irrelevant to me because I think they’re fake). All answers given in the show will be bolded with the episode it was answered in, in parenthesis. Just a warning this is going to be long hence the show has over 100 episodes. Also, I have a lot of -A related questions that have never been confirmed. Even during Mona’s reign as -A, some things just don’t add up. I know Marlene says that everything from season 1 and until the end of season 2 is Mona and season 3 starts a new -A, but like I said, some things don’t add up.


Pilot (1x01)
Spencer heard someone scream ‘that night’, who was it?
Why did the Montgomery’s leave Rosewood for a year? To get away from Rosewood after Alison went missing. (2x19)
Did Ezra follow/know Aria was going to be at the Hollis Bar & Grill or was he there coincidentally?
Why did Hanna roll her eyes when she waved to Aria in class?
Who was the blonde in Maya’s (Alison’s) room?
How did Hanna start off in the crowd looking at the chaos of Alison’s house when a body was found then ended up behind Spencer and Aria (behind the crowd)?
What’s the “Jenna Thing”? Alison lit a firecracker in the Cavanaugh’s garage while Jenna and her step brother, Toby, were in it. The firecracker ended up blinding Jenna. Alison told the girls to keep it a secret and they let Toby take the blame for it. (1x02)

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things I love about Steve Trevor
  • He makes sure he actually thanks Diana for pulling him out of the water
  • The only time he ever expresses doubt to Diana about any of her beliefs is when he’s trying to convince her not to jeopardize the mission by killing Ludendorff, and even then it’s a hypothetical (“what if”)
    • He also does after she kills Ludendorff but that’s after her belief is shattered so I don’t really count it
  • He is so duty-bound I love him so much no wonder he and Diana got along so well
  • He just. Wants the people around him to be happy? The scene after they rescue Veld always kills me, and two parts in particular: 
    • When Charlie starts playing piano and singing and Steve says “I haven’t heard him sing in years…” and his face is all soft and you can see the shadow of a smile tugging at his lips but you can also see all the sadness in his eyes from those years of him not singing
    • And when he’s dancing with Diana and it starts to snow and she looks up and is so confused and delighted and he’s like “it’s snow… go on, touch it” and she does (also she has to let go of his hand to do it and he still encourages her to? such a small thing but oh man my heart) and he looks at her with such heart eyes
    • Honestly Chris Pine played him so well, so much complex emotion depicted even when he’s not speaking, like jfc well done
  • I love the boat scene, partly because it’s just fucking hilarious but mostly because their conversation is so respectful. She tells him she was sculpted from clay and brought to life by the breath of Zeus and his reaction is just to raise his eyebrows and say “Well, that’s neat.” 
    • I know that could read as sarcastic but it doesn’t to me at all. It’s funny, sure, but he isn’t making fun of her. It’s genuine and kind, even when what she’s saying is fairly unbelievable.
    • Just the entire way they speak in this scene… He never adopts that Mansplaining Tone™ that is so common, even when he’s actually explaining things. He talks because he wants to share information. It’s a cultural exchange, and I loved it.
  • After Veld, when they’re sitting and watching the villagers dance, he just quietly says, “You did this.” and she’s the one who smiles at him and says, “We did this.” He has so much respect for her and it kills me inside because it’s not “We did this” originally (which could be him pointing out that they’re a good team, him saying they have things in common, or a thousand other things), it’s just “You did this,” because he just wants her happy. He wants her to recognize how goddamn impressive she is. There is no agenda to what he said and it fucks me up
  • The entire scene with the kiss. Like, I’m gay as hell, usually I hate this kind of thing because it feels so unnecessary, but this was so well done I’m genuinely glad it was included
    • When he escorts her up to a room he then starts to leave. Even with all of that tension he doesn’t want to assume that she wants anything to happen. 
    • So he has his hand on the door and he starts to back out of the room and he hesitates just long enough for her to turn around and meet his gaze. And even then he’s reading that as a sign that she wants him in the room so he steps forward and closes the door behind her and then looks up again to confirm that’s what she wanted. And even after that, he crosses over to her so slowly and lets her be the one to actually initiate the kiss. 
    • He gives her a thousand and one chances to change her mind, to give him a small indication that she’s uncomfortable or doesn’t want it to happen, and it’s only once she lets all of those chances pass that they kiss. 
    • Consent-based relationships, man. Fuck me up.
  • Speaking of consent… the scene after Diana returns to Veld and sees the gas has killed everyone fucks me up
    • Steve’s followed her there and is clearly freaked the fuck out because she’s just gone and he physically can’t go in to try to find her because of the gas
    • So when she comes out he’s so visibly relieved and he goes forward and puts his hands around her face, clearly wanting to kiss her, and she shoves him away and says “stay away from me.” and he does.
    • He lets her be furious and devastated and overwhelmed because he knows what it’s like to feel powerless and I think he is genuinely sorry he contributed to her feeling this much pain. He lets her say she’s angry, he lets her blame him, he lets her grieve and doesn’t stop her when she leaves him there.
    • Not only does he not stop her, he sees the smoke from Chief’s fire and yells to her to follow it because he had followed Ludendorff. Their argument from the ballroom still isn’t resolved - she wants to just kill him and be done with it, Steve wants that to wait so they can focus on stopping the gas - but he recognizes that this is her choice and even after she’s basically just blamed an entire village’s deaths on him (and on herself) he tries to help her carry it out.
  • So after Diana’s killed Ludendorff and the war is still going on and Steve runs up to find her, he’s so visibly relieved that she’s alive and (like after Veld) goes to kiss her but backs away without her doing anything because he realizes the “stay away from me” thing has never been explicitly lifted. She might still want nothing to do with him and he respects that.
    • He does touch her a couple times after this but it’s always brief, I think it continues only because she didn’t react negatively the first time, and like they’re in the middle of a fucking war and I think Steve’s about 900% convinced that they’re all going to die so I’m gonna cut him a little slack here.
  • They have that “argument” again, where Diana says “this should have stopped, I killed him, why is this still going on” and instead of saying I told you so Steve just tries to get her to move on and help him save other people.
    • When he says “maybe it’s us! maybe we’re to blame!” (meaning not Ares) and she says that (obviously) she isn’t to blame, he doesn’t hesitate, he just says “but maybe I am.” He’s willing to put that on himself. Also, the qualifier through this scene - but maybe it’s us - is so important to me, because he’s still not saying “you’re wrong.” it’s a maybe.
    • When she refuses to go with him he’s clearly frustrated (again I’m giving him a pass here because he’s frustrated because he knows he won’t be able to save as many people without her) but he still doesn’t try to force her to go with him. He doesn’t guilt-trip her, doesn’t yell at her for not helping. He just gives that desperate shrug and says “I have to go. I’m sorry, I have to go.”
    • And when Charlie and Sam and Chief show up and ask where Diana is, all he says is “we’re on our own.” Not “she wouldn’t fucking help us” - which frankly is probably what I would have said in this situation - just that statement and nothing more.
  • In their final scene, when she’s hurt and dazed and temporarily hard of hearing, he breaks his “no touching” rule, but he breaks it because he’s helping her stand up and then because, well… even if she doesn’t, he knows he’s never going to see her again. 
    • It’s also super important to me that he doesn’t try to kiss her in this scene, because god knows he must have wanted to. He sees that she is in no shape to consent to anything like that and he doesn’t even come close to pushing it.
    • I’m not even gonna get into the “I can save today” part because I’m still too emotionally fraught
    • He says is “I wish we had more time.” before he tells her he loves her and literally runs to his death. That’s it. Nothing that could possibly make her feel guilty, nothing that could have seemed like he regretted anything. Not “I wish we hadn’t gone to the front.” Just “I wish we had more time.”
    • And he then, metaphorically and literally, gives her more time. Because he knows his clock has run out, but that doesn’t mean hers has to… So he runs and saves today and gives her his watch. Gives her time.
  • Anyway I’m seventeen thousand levels of fucked up from this movie, please feel free to add because Steve is amazing and a genuinely good, complex, respectful male character like this should be celebrated

the princess stayed in the tower and read books about better girls, where their hands learned how to hold swords, where they rode in on horses. i gave her books as often as i could. she devoured them.

her princes saw her and pretended to be scared off by dragons. got too lost in the thicket. didn’t want to handle it.

“tell me what it’s like, out there,” she whispers to me for the millionth time. i take her from The Throne into her bed, tucking her in and making sure her feet are covered. 

“boring without you” i say as always, “but i did bring back a great story.”

i tell her about how the stars change beyond the equator. how there are places it looks like there are twin suns. how the desert crawls into you but so does snow. i talk about the taste of fruit and promise to bring her back some. she falls asleep while i murmur about rivers, and then in the morning i bring her from bed to Throne, even though she can do it on her own. sometimes she likes help, is all, and i’m happy to give it. 

she doesn’t want help getting dressed. the men come for me, blindfold masters i have almost befriended. the path we take away from her is always different, carefully manufactured so i don’t know exactly where she’s located. after all, a lady might get ideas about things.

they let me go in the queen’s room. i report findings, ask for fruit in the next week’s supplies, am told not to spoil the princess, that she must be kind and waifish and wanting when the prince comes. i spend an hour suggesting that fruit might turn the blood sweeter and am allowed six oranges.

in the next week, she marvels over them. turns them in her calloused hands. smells them. holds them until she can’t control her curiosity, devours them. i bring her books about rivers. i bring her books about deserts. 

“when is our birthday?” she asks me tonight. i’m knitting her a scarf for it.

“soon,” i tell her, “i’ll come by.”

she rolls onto one side, looks up at me in the dimming light. “I’m glad they chose you to be mine,” she says, and i drop a stitch. my heart sings against the inside of my wrists. i blow out a candle so she can’t see the blush and i can’t see her lips. i know what she means, i say. i know what she means.

it’s twenty-three for both of us. i bring her a cake we both eat, her on her throne and me on the floor. i am in the middle of laughing when she falls silent in the still night. “nobody else ever comes for me,” she whispers. i say nothing.

we have more cake, we go to sleep. i don’t know if she knows i’m awake, but i hear her crying.

the men come, the men take me. the one that smells like cedar always laughs at my jokes. the queen half-hates me because i remind her of “that nasty thing” they forced on their daughter. 

“the left wheel needs oil,” i mention, “she’s having trouble turning again.”

the queen’s nose goes up. she never reacts when i mention her daughter’s wheelchair by name - doesn’t find it funny we call it a throne, thinks it’s well enough to leave alone.

“well, she’ll have a prince in this next month coming for her,” says the queen, “i’ve arranged it all,” says the queen, “he’s … had the situation explained to him first this time. i thought it would be best,” says the queen. “we’re paying him…. quite a lot for his effort,” says the queen.

situation. she means that her daughter can’t walk very far. she means the situation of towers. i excuse myself. i find my girl books about turning down marriage. i’m not sure why. it’s all she’s ever wanted.

they blindfold me and take me. cedar laughs at my jokes. the sawdust one is here this time, even he chuckles at a few. we ride horses through places i’ll never see clearly. 

“so according to the queen this is the last time i’m needed, huh?” i ask them as they walk me blindly up too many stairs for my girl to make it down, “i’m sorry i never made your acquaintance.”

cedar laughs. he takes off my blindfold and for a second, lets me see his face. “it’s been an honor,” he says, shaking my hand, “you’ve been a perfect lady.”

i spend the day with my princess pretending i am not peeling apart from my bones. i just want her to be happy. to get to come home. 

it’s late. “do you think in a past life i was a mermaid?” she asks.

“almost definitely,” i tell her. 

it’s quiet for a while after. “what if,” she whispers, “i don’t want to leave?”

i sit up and look at her from across the room. 

“it’s just,” she says, “i have you here and all the books i need and nobody makes me walk too long and i don’t feel like… like i’m wrong here.”

i want to tell her she’s never been wrong. that she’s always fit into my heart like a puzzle piece. that, more importantly, the leadership i see in her glows like a fire - that, no matter her body, she’s always been kind and gentle and smart and sweet. a princess that could bring a nation to her feet and do so lovingly.

“it will be okay,” i say, “there’s more fruit to discover.”

she doesn’t say anything. i think i’ve ruined something by accident, but i don’t know what. i don’t really sleep. i don’t say anything when the men come take me.

the world outside without her is boring. no mermaids. i put my hand in a river once a day, just thinking about her. 

two weeks later i am awoken by my name, and a voice i recognize perfectly. cedar stands above me in the darkness. “i know two things in this world,” he says to me, “and one of them is about love.”

this time we make the trip without blindfolds. i see the squalor they keep her in. i see the waste surrounding her castle, the terrible place she’s in. rage fuels my footsteps even when they start flagging. 

the prince is already there. he has dropped her twice, cedar tells me. i am already running up the stairs even though i can barely breathe. i hear her crying through the door and i don’t need to get ready - the fire that starts in me burns so brightly.

i roar inside. turn dragon and beat back prince with girl made rage. the bruises on her body turn me into giant snake. i eat the man alive, or at least i chase him from the place, never to be seen again. later i will hear a rumor about a demon that stole the princess from him.

she cries into my arms. i take her down every single stair. i hear her murmur her thanks into my hair and then i kiss her, because i can’t handle it, because i have places to show her and she has my heart to lead.

my house isn’t much but it’s near a river. she likes putting her hands into it. i take her places when she is able, and otherwise i bring the places back. we read books together. cedar no longer works for the queen, but he’d rather live with the man of sawdust making tiny wooden figurines.

i lie in bed next to her, stroking her soft hair. “do you think i was a centaur in a past life?” she asks.

“definitely,” i tell her, and kiss her, gently. she holds my face and pulls herself closer to me.

“will i be a good queen? i mean, in this life?”

“i’m certain of it,” i reply. i can hear the truth ring in it. the bone-deep certainty.

she’s quiet for a moment. “you saved me,” she whispers, “and usually we’d end up married. but…”

i don’t know how to answer that. i feel ice down my spine suddenly.

“i’m not demanding, is all,” her voice shakes, “i’m asking this time. for you to choose me. for me to be yours, i mean. and for you to be mine. permanently.”

the next birthday we celebrate, we are both queens.

Red & Blue Connection Theory

Be warned there’s gonna be Voltron s3 spoilers in here!! So if you don’t want to see that, look elsewhere. (Also this is super fucking long, I’m sorry.) 

Anyway so I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and what with (at least temporary) Red Paladin!Lance being confirmed, now is probably the time to post this.

Coincidentally, I’ve been spending the past couple weeks looking for foreshadow of the Red and Blue Lions have some kind of Special Connection and there is quite a bit, so I thought I’d share some of what I’ve found.

The gist of it is that I think Red and Blue have some kind of connection that the other lions don’t seem to have with each other. Of course all the lions have a special bond, but there seem to be a lot of hints that the connection between Red and Blue *coughs* and their pilots is something a little different––basically, that Lance and Keith have shown a lot more interest in/connection to each other’s lions than any of the other paladins have.

(And before everyone jumps down my throat, I’m NOT proposing a permanent lion switch so jot that down lol. But I do think temporary lion switches are Good so uhhhh fight me.)

I’m not sure how to go about explaining this, but I’m just gonna break it down to:

- Keith’s connection with Blue

- Lance’s connection with Red

- What Does It Mean

Here we go!!!

Keith & Blue

- I’m still caught up on this whole “Keith sensed the Blue Lion” thing. Granted, it could have something to do with his alien abilities™ (I’m still rooting for Keith with Altean ancestry, y’all) but I still question the choice of having Keith sense Blue, of all the lions. He only detects the location of two lions in canon, and they’re––you guessed it––Blue and Red. 

First we have some kinda vague “energy” that attracts Keith to Blue:

Then we have this part where Keith just … closes his eyes and senses Red somehow??

(These both happen in the first episode, I might add.)

Like I said, this could be some kinda sixth alien sense. But, I do also wonder if it was Blue trusting & calling out to Keith specifically, which is interesting considering he’s not even her paladin.

- Also in the first episode, when they find Blue, Keith & Lance are the first ones to approach her. Keith even reaches Blue before Lance does!

And then they’re both standing right in front of Blue, side-by-side, when she wakes up.

There is still a close-up on Lance when Blue awakens––but even so, everyone else has much more of a one-on-one first interaction with their lion, so this scene in particular stands out to me.

- Other than in the first episode we don’t get much of Keith interacting with Blue in s1 (except for him saving Blue for Lance in s1e06, which is cute!)

But then there’s also this moment in s2 where he starts asking Coran about whether there might have been Galra on earth before, and whether that could have something to do with Blue being on Earth:

Which is especially interesting now that we know that Keith is part Galra. So …. is it possible the previous Blue Paladin might’ve been Galra?? or even could have been an ancestor of Keith’s?

Then of course we have Lance emerging from his room at the mention of Blue, and accusing Keith of “having his eye on the Blue Lion since day one”:

This is … kinda odd considering Keith hasn’t outwardly shown any desire to pilot Blue as far as I can remember. So, obviously this is a throwback to the very first episode in which Keith first sensed Blue––and the fact that it was brought up again out of nowhere makes me suspicious that there’s Something there that hasn’t quite been addressed yet.

Lance & Red

- *rubs hands together* Now this is Extra Fun because now I know for a fact Lance is gonna fly the Red Lion at some point in s3 because it was in the trailer and all …

:’’))

Unfortunately I don’t get to say “I told you so” because I didn’t publish this post before then, but anyway! I’ve been looking for foreshadow of this and honestly?? If you ask me, there are hints of Red Paladin!Lance since the very first episode. (Again, I’m not suggesting Lance becomes Red Paladin forever, so please don’t kill me. But I do think Lance having some kind of connection with Red has been foreshadowed.)

- So!! In the first episode I noticed that when Allura assigns each of them a lion, she doesn’t technically assign Blue to Lance (because he interrupts her, lol). It’s just kind of assumed that he’s Blue Paladin since, well, he’s flown Blue. Now, I’m not saying he’s not the Blue Paladin––he is! Buuut I also find a couple things about this scene Intriguing:

1) Lance looks like he almost expects to be assigned the lion as Allura describes it (even though he already has a lion), and then seems a bit shocked/upset when it gets assigned to Keith instead.

2) Not only that, but you may notice the Red Lion hovers between BOTH of them, which is noteworthy because this doesn’t happen to anyone else when they get their lion assigned to them. Hmmmmmm…

- This may be an unpopular opinion but I actually … also think Lance shows some Red Paladin traits. Once again, that’s not to say that Lance doesn’t also fit into the role of Blue Paladin because of course he does, but I do think he shows traces of being capable of being Red Paladin as well.

Like listen, when Allura is assigning Red, these are her exact words: “The Red Lion is temperamental and the most difficult to master. … Its pilot needs to be someone who relies more on instincts than skill alone.”

So really the only qualifications here are: 1) Be skilled. 2) Have good instincts.

And Lance?? Fits those qualifications pretty damn well. He’s a skilled pilot, sharpshooter, and strategist. And he has very strong awareness/instincts as well (i.e. being able to identify the Rover clone super fast, being able to come up with a plan on the Balmera on the fly, etc.). There’s no reason why he can’t fly Red if you ask me.

- Also, when the Red Lion gets fire power for the first time Lance is like, “I want that!!” which is interesting … especially because (at least as far as I can remember) no one else expresses jealousy for another paladin’s lion that way.

And generally I just find it kinda funny that Lance accuses Keith of having his eye on the Blue Lion when Lance has like…canonically had his eye on the Red Lion from pretty early on. 

- In addition to all of the above, there does seem to be some foreshadow about Keith getting separated from Red (at least temporarily). i.e. he has that dream about Red rejecting him.

And there’s also that vision he has in BoM where Red is far away from him.

(Tag yourself I’m the people screaming.)

Could be coincidental …. or could be intentional to foreshadow something about a certain someone else temporarily taking over as Red Paladin.

- And lastly: it may not mean anything, but in GoLion (the original anime) Isamu/Lance was Red Paladin … So, could be a nod to the original!

And yes, he wore a blue outfit but piloted the Red Lion, don’t question it. Color coordination hadn’t been invented yet. 

What Does It Mean?!

- In general, there seems to be a lot of subtle foreshadow that there is Some kind of connection between the Red and Blue lions––or at least, to an extent, Keith and Lance have connections to each other’s lions as well as their own.

- It could mean they are both capable of piloting each other’s lions. I’ll say it again––I’m not suggesting a permanent lion swap or anything along those lines, because both paladins also have very strong connections to their own lions. (Also, I’m not sure about Blue Paladin!Keith at this point, although it’s hard to say since we don’t really know what the quintessence of the Blue Lion is yet.)

However, I think in certain situations their lions could be accepting of the other’s paladin (which of course we know is possible since Keith has piloted Black before, and in the s3 trailer it appears he does so again, as well as Lance piloting Red). So, I feel like that could be important.

- As for the reason behind this connection: It could be because their elements balance each other out (you know, the whole fire-and-ice thing), but what I’m really hoping is that there is some significance in the relationship between the previous Red & Blue Paladins (interpret that however you want––but yeah like, maybe they were good friends??? or …. more than that????) and their lions built up a strong connection because of that (or vice versa).

- TL;DR: I think it’s pretty much inevitable that Red & Blue/Keith & Lance have some kind of special connection (space ranger partners™ amiright) and if you ask me there are a lot of signs pointing in that direction. That’s all, bye.