these are the men i look up to

Blind bag thrifted toys: bootleg Pokemon edition

Thrift stores love to just bag things up that look similar and throw them out on a rack for a dollar, so I bought what looked like a bag of army men with a couple familiar Pokemon, what I got was a couple of army men and a whole shitload of Poke-masterpieces.

Everyone knows ol’ Charmander.  He’s not feeling that hot today.

Is this Sivally?  Mewtwo in half a suit of plate mail?

Okay so this Darumaka is actually kind of cute.  He looks like he just wants a hug.

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO LICKITUNG???

Zangoose has had enough of this shit.

Umbreon has no idea what’s going on.

Meanwhile Delibird stares into the void…

Help us Electabuzz!

In conclusion, this was an excellent purchase.  There ended up being over 20 of these and most of them are terrible and I love them.

anonymous asked:

Miss mod, tell us a story~

Hmmmmmmmmmm… Lets seeee… I can’t really remember what stories I’ve already told you and which I haven’t… so how about a funny joke kinda story this time?

It’s one of my faves:

One day two dwarves were out hunting in the woods with their crossbows, they were having shit luck and hadn’t come across so much as a squirrel all day.

Then out of nowhere a beautiful, naked elf woman steps from the brush. Biting her lower lip she looks them over, clearly interested in the two of them she asks “And what are two handsome men like you doing out in these woods?”

One of the dwarves shrugs and hefts up his crossbow “Huntin’ game” he says

She gives the two a wink and responds in a sultry voice “Well I’m game~”



So they shot her. owo

anonymous asked:

Never trust a man who is constantly criticizing your choice to wear makeup and about how he likes "natural girls". Well congratulations go find a natural girl then cuz this bitch likes to have big lashes, glitter cheeks, and purple lips and you can fucking either get over it or piss off

I think men who tend to say they like ‘natural’ means they actually like women who don’t look like they’re wearing make-up, but still are wearing make-up. It’s the evidence of effort and stylizing they don’t like imo. Also, men should just stop criticizing women all together about our appearances. They created and fuel the culture which shames women into feminizing themselves, so they should keep their mouths shut about how we ultimately choose to dress. I agree, he needs to get over it.

(also, side note, I’m not a huge fan of the word ‘b*tch’, as it is a misogynistic slur, even when using it on oneself.)

anonymous asked:

No men can debate with you because if they disagree they are "oppressed fragile boys." Joss Whedon is a disgusting man. I'm only pissed because you said men. Men get triggered because people like you generalize the whole race. I bet a million dollars Tom Hardy doesn't like misandry, since he's a man. Dozens upon dozens of tumblr users (like 90% Female) use men as face claims and look up to them as role models but don't hesitate to call them pieces of trash. Hypocrisy is all I see.

Do you even hear yourself? Joss Whedon is a man. What do you want me to say? Joss Whedon is a disgusting pig but oh, by the way, not all men are like that! Not all men are predatory, some men are really sweet and nice and actually listen to women!! Big bold disclaimer anytime I critique a man I must be sure to say NOT. ALL. MEN. otherwise I’m a misandrist! And a hypocrite! Because I didn’t say three fucking words because your inability to comprehend the english language is my fault! When you’re the one putting fucking words in my mouth. If you want to get anal about the exact words I’m using and how I choose to express my anger and police me, at least have the guts to admit you’re the one who started calling men “monsters” and “pieces of trash”. Since we’re getting hung up on word choice. 

OH. BUT WAIT. WHAT’S THAT? OH…O H M Y OH YM GO OHMY GOD. YOU IMPLIED THAT I CALLED MEN MONSTERS AND PIECES OF TRASH? SO YOU DO UNDERSTAND WHAT IMPLICATION MEANS? SO YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN I CALL MEN PREDATORY THAT IT DOESNT NECESSARILY MEAN ‘ALL MEN’ BECAUSE CLEARLY YOU’RE CAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING NUANCE IN LANGUAGE AND THAT ME CALLING MEN PREDATORY OR DISGUSTING IS THE SAME AS THE WORDS YOU PUT IN MY MOUTH.

Stop trying to pretend you didn’t know what I meant and stop acting like me generalizing is a fucking crime. Start holding yourself accountable instead.

Being selective about your understanding of what I’m saying but pulling the same shit on me by putting words on my mouth is a nasty move. 

And for the record, you getting offended over this? Not my problem. Get over yourself. 

Missing Out

Sorry ahead of time, but this is long.

I have an older brother. We both have different fathers but we grew up very close to one another. I’ve always looked up to him and because of that, we have common interests. A little context, but he wasn’t born in America. He was born and raised in the West Indies and came here as a teen. When he moved here, he assimilated quickly and fell in love with American culture. He loved the music, the comic books, television shows, action movies; EVERYTHING related to America media (and some anime). Plus, I’m pretty sure it’s mention-worthy, but my brother’s father is half white, so he’s very light skinned. Problem is, is that my brother is completely obsessed with non-black women and I’m almost 90% sure that American media had something to do with it. Not much has changed, but BW were almost invisible in media back then. There was nothing but blonde white girls who were worthy of being rescued and desired.

He’s done nothing but introduce the family to numerous white girls, all very generic-looking imo. I can recall only two experiences with BW: He snuck in one in the middle of the night and I never saw her again, and his first girlfriend ever was black, but he had a bad experience with her. I usually hear black men say that past experiences with BW usually dictate why they date non-BW, but he fell out with tons of WW all the time and that never stopped him constantly pursuing them. So I can only assume its antiblackness. Plus, two of his closest black [male] friends are also married to WW, so I feel like he has something to prove.

He was once in a long term relationship with a non black girl from Puerto Rico and I think she was his first love. One day, he got news that she died in a car accident and he was depressed for a very long time. I still think even today, he’s afraid to be in a relationship because he’s scared of feeling that away again. He’s getting into his late 30’s and I can tell he’s getting lonely watching his friends get married off. I would really love to see him get married, but I feel like he’s afraid being heartbroken (again) and afraid of not getting the ideal woman he wants in terms of appearance.

My mom and I live in a predominantly black area, so he visits a lot. But once, my cousin spotted him on tinder and noticed that nothing but a shitload of WW, and it gets me so fucking mad because I can’t help but think about how black women are treated and undesired because they aren’t put on a pedestal like white girls. I thought we were getting somewhere with our talks but I realized that internalized racism is really hard to salvage out of someone. And he doesn’t realize that he’s really missing out on a chance to meet someone that could potentially be perfect.

I never saw myself becoming an activist as I got older, but I learned a fuck ton about racism: misogynoir, colorism, privileges and all in between. And I sometimes try to start dialogues with my brother about racism to see where he stands because I feel they apply to him sometimes, but I haven’t figured out much yet. He’s supportive but he thinks I look into things too deeply. He acknowledges racism, but doesn’t know how deeply it can affect the mind. He tries to hide and make sarcastic remarks, but I point out that he proves my point a lot.

I’m not against interracial dating. I just dislike when black men use it as an excuse for their internalized racism or use to put other BW down. As for me, I almost went down the same path because I looked up to him, but I learned about misogynoir. I’ve also had experiences where non BW use black men to fulfill their BBC/mandingo/I-want-a-mixed-baby fantasies. Some black men will sell out for that, but I’m not with that shit. I know my brother is responsible for himself, but if he ends up having children with a white woman, I can only imagine the cycle of internalized racism he’ll put on his kids and how he’ll treat his daughter.

anonymous asked:

Do you really think Jon would use romantic feelings to get something he wants? I mean Jon and dany are already friends and already trust each other. If they take it any further I doubt it will be because he wants her dragons. She already helps him when he calls without anything more. He really has no reason to try and use her.

“Do you really think Jon would use romantic feelings to get something he wants?”

Yes, I do think Jon, the same man who used ygritte’s clear thirst for him to prove to the wildlings that he had abandoned his vows with the NW, would use Dany’s affection to secure a political alliance between the two of that that he feels he needs to save his people. Yes I think Jon, who just recently talked about all the honorable men in his life he looked up to who failed, would do something like use Dany’s clear romantic affection for him to keep her on his side.

“i mean Jon and dany are already friends”

lol are they? Jon deadass just called her a stranger in episode 5 and left dragonstone with barely goodbye. Where is proof of this friendship? Was is when Jon was trying to dip when she was on a angry tantrum? Or was it when he was telling her he don’t have to listen to her because he’s a king? Or was it when he was mincing his words around her to avoid her wrath? Does Jon really consider the woman who basically made him a prisoner on dragonstone a friend? I’m trying to rack my brain for footage of this friendship you speak of and I’m coming up short. The most you could say Jon and Dany had prior to the wight hunt was a tentative peace for the greater good. They are friends yet Jon has swerved every opportunity to foster a deeper personal connection with Dany. She has opened up to him at least 5 times and every time Jon has nodded his head in silence or given her some basic answer to get outta the convo. He won’t even share with her the fact that he died and came back to life. He doesn’t even mention his family around her until episode 5 where he says Arya and brans name in passing. I find it hard to believe they are friends when Jon was still side eying Dany just prior to his departure.

“and already trust each other.”

Do they? Does Jon trust Dany? Has he said he trusts her? If he trusts her so much why is he so reluctant to open up to her? Does Dany truly trust Jon? If she does then why did she need to see the army of the dead with her own eyes to finally believe him despite his insistence that it was real. It seems odd to say they trust each other when Dany can’t even take Jon at his word, Jon was expressing skepticism about Dany’s Methods one episode ago, and Jon has yet to give Dany any real personal details about himself.

“If they take it any further I doubt it will be because he wants her dragons.”

Then what will it be about? True love? Lmao honestly I’ll Accept Jon just wanting to get his dick wet if that makes you feel better.

“She already helps him when he calls without anything more.”

He called Dany for help one time, and this was the first time she has given him anything without demanding he swear fealty to her in return. Ill give them a B- for finally moving them beyond “help
Me” “nah bend the knee” after like 4 episodes but I can’t sit here and pretend that Dany has been ride or die for Jon? Or that she didn’t have a vested interest in saving them all besides just Jon? You want me to believe that Dany is finna mount her dragons anytime Jon needs her going forward because she finally did something without requiring a knee. Lol K.

“He really has no reason to try and use her.”

Uhh I can think of a few reasons. Dany has the temperament of a child. Jon has seen her turn on her closest advisor Tyrion when she took a L, he has seen her want to reign fire and blood when she had a set back. Jon needs Dany to stay consistent now more than ever since they are down a dragon. If you’re dealing with a Person with a fickle temperament sometimes you might have to pull out all the stops to make sure you stay on the right side of her inconsistency.

But in case you can’t buy that explanation let me ask you this question anon. You don’t think Jon would use romantic feelings against a person for the good of his people okay. What makes more sense tho, Jon possibly being a little manipulative with his emotions and his dick for the greater good of his people he swore to respect and protect or Jon swearing to the Lords and his sister Sansa that he would always fight for the north, that the north is a part of him and he wouldn’t jeapordize it, only to break that pledge to his people because somehow he fell madly in love with Dany and is suddenly convinced that she’s the world’s most deserving monarch.

antiloquist  asked:

Gdi I keep cracking up at work because the phrase "he jerks it ambidextrously" keeps popping up in my mind at random times. he totally WOULD tho

Like, you know Ignis would notice on the low about how women glance at men and giggle about how he is a righty or a lefty

And Ignis would be confused until he started picking it up too and gets kinda mortified at the fact that he’s now discreetly examining people’s packages to see how they hang

So he’s like “oh ain’t nobody gonna catch me being dick-lopsided” and actually sets out to jerk off evenly

Like he keeps a mental checklist “yesterday I used the left hand for five minutes, so today I must use the right hand for just as long”

I gtg into work rn but now I’m going to be giggling to myself about this all day, too, LMFAO

Making New Clichés

felix belongs to me, kavik belongs to @wingboness, kaname belongs to @thatoneillguy read on ao3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/11866692

“You can’t keep doing this. You need to stop.”

Kavik stabbed himself in the finger with the needle he was using to repair his well-worn jacket… again. He looked up, startled to see actual god among men his friend Kaname leaning in the front door of his apartment looking vaguely amused and perfect. Kavik stuck his finger in his mouth and set the jacket aside.

“Kaname what are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you but- wait wasn’t my door locked? Oh no did I forget to lock it again?”

“Nope, that was me!” A voice called from somewhere behind Kaname.

“Yes. Your little friend was kind enough to let me in. I was going to knock, but, well.” He moved his hands in a “here we are” type gesture and shrugged.

Felix popped out from behind Kaname with a grin and slid something back into their pocket. “Hi Kavik!”

“Hi Felix. Please stop breaking into my house.”

“But Kaname was waiting outside for fore-”

Kaname covered Felix’s mouth with a hand and smiled easily. “Anyway, as I was saying, you need to stop repairing that jacket. It’s more patches and stitching than actual fabric at this point.”

“My jacket is fine! It still… it just needs a little TLC.”

“Reminds me of its owner. But unlike the owner, that jacket is very much replaceable. And in fact should be replaced, sooner rather than later. Agh!” Kaname wiped his pants on his pants as Felix stepped out of his reach.

“1) If you put your hand on my mouth again I will bite you and 2) Kavik you got in the dumpster. It’s the Trash Jacket™. Conrad tried to set it on fire once. You need a new one.”

“I agree. I tend to think less is more, but even you seem to be taking that a skosh too far. Your clothes are falling apart at the seams. Literally.” He gave the jacket abandoned on the couch a pointed look. The sleeve Kavik had been previously attempting to sew back on mocked him where it sat.

“To put it another way,” Felix pulled a phone that Kavik was 67% certain was not theirs from… somewhere and shook it menacingly. “If you don’t come with us right right now, I’ll call Hera and tell her you need new clothes.” Kavik went visibly paler. “Shopping trip with her or shopping with us? Your choice.” They had him pinned and they knew it. There was that shit-eating grin that accompanied nearly every stunt and bad decision ever.

“…Fine. Let me get some shoes on.”

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping.”

“I hate everything about this.”

Kaname clucked his tongue. “Surely you don’t hate us, right?”

Instead of responding, Kavik flushed and hurried out of the room to find his shoes. He knew Kaname was just needling him. He was always needling. It was just how he was, and sometime that made things worse.

Once he returned, his friends happily marched Kavik down to the bus stop. Felix happily chattered away and Kaname threw in an occasional response to keep momentum going. The familiarity of the banter helped Kavik relax on the walk, but he still put up a valiant resistance.

“Do we really need to go all the way to the mall, though? I mean there’s a thrift store just down the street. We can just keep walking.”

“Kavik. Light of my life.” Felix interrupted his attempts at redirection before he could really even get going. “Please I have money to spend and rigged bus pass. We’re going to the mall. It’ll be an adventure.”

That made Kavik groan. He didn’t want to go on an adventure. Kaname was his last hope. Kavik sent him a pleading glance, but the other man only shrugged his shoulders.

“I’m sorry, Kavik, but I do believe the situation is out of my control. I hear the buddy system works well in these cases, however. If you’d like, I can hold your hand.”

“Oh um well I really don’t think that’ll be necessary really? Did I remember to lock up my apartment? I should go b-”

“Nice try but I watched you triple-check that it was locked. To the bus stop!”

The bus ride was just as bad as Kavik was worried it would be but Kaname seemed prepared for it. Wordlessly he offered an earbud and Kavik took it gratefully. Focusing on the music was a good distraction from the background noise of the bus and its other passengers. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the window behind him. Leaning far enough away from the person on his right to avoid touching them meant he was making pressed against Kaname almost by accident. But the gently pressure of Kaname’s shoulder against his was grounding in its own way. It seemed like before he knew it, Felix was hesitantly shaking his arm.

“Kavik. This is our stop man.”

“Yeah alright.” He handed the earbud back to Kaname with a small smile. “Thanks for the music.”

“Anytime.”

Felix pulled on one of his sleeves impatiently. “If you’re going to flirt, let’s do it while walking to that the bus doesn’t drive off with us still on it.”

“Of course.” Kaname stood up smoothly and gestured for Kavik and Felix to walk ahead.

“We weren’t- I wasn’t- Don’t pull on my sleeves you’ll stretch them out!” He trailed off with a grumble. Neither person paid him any attention as the hurried off the bus and Felix let go of Kavik’s sleeve to rub their hands together like a cartoon villain.

“Come on boys. Into the jaws of capitalism!”

“You don’t have to say it like that.”

“Sounds fake but okay. Get ready to have new clothes. Hole-free clothes, even. Or clothes with fashionable holes in them. You could be hip with the kids, as they say.”

“Why.”

“Why new clothes?”

“No why are there pre-ripped clothes? There’s absolutely no point to it? They’re ugly and they’re almost always more expensive for half the amount of fabric. And then they fall apart almost as soon as you take them out of the store and I just don’t understand the point?!”

“As good as righteous indignation looks on you,” Kaname was guiding him through the doors as he ranted. Kavik was so absorbed in trying to get all his thoughts out that he didn’t even register the hand pushing against the small of his back to force him into the buildings. “ You should continue this line of thought in the air conditioning. We do have a schedule to keep and it’s hot outside. Not to mention, half the clothes you… salvage tend to have massive holes in them as well. Bit of a pot/kettle situation?”

“Except I repair them so that they don’t look like that! Besides, patches are in right now. I think? People come into the coffee shop with them at least. Regardless, I certainly wouldn’t spend money on things that looked like that.”

“Duly noted, Kavik. I will not force you into Yeezy or Yeezy adjacent styles. Luckily you have a thing called free will and friends who care about you. You want a snack before I make this my own personal 90s shopping montage?”

“No I’m good for now.” Kavik was… 73% sure he had a granola bar in his bag still. 70%. You couldn’t quantify certainty. There was probably a granola bar in his bag.

“Well alrighty then! Kaname, do you wanna pick the first store or should I?”

Kavik held up a hand in objection. “Hold on don’t I get to-”

“No.” “No.”

Kavik dropped his hand.

Luckily, his friends had decided to drag him on this adventure on one of the mall’s less busy days and Kaname brought him to a store that was much more Kavik’s speed. Most of the clothes were reserved (”Boooorrrring”) and managed to find a replacement to the Trash Jacket™ with minimal suffering. Felix produced cash from, well, Kavik wasn’t really sure where it had come from, but they paid for it with none of the usual swindling (“haggling”). It was odd for sure, but he couldn’t focus on it too much because he suddenly had other things vying for his attention. Things like Kaname suddenly deciding to tie his hair back, and thus raising his shirt in a manner that was extremely distracting. Kavik felt his mouth go dry at the sight of exposed skin and the sudden panicked thought that he was too gay to function raced through his brain. And then, just when Kavik thought it couldn’t get worse, Kaname caught him staring. And then he winked.

“You know we didn’t just come here to window shop. If you see something you like, let me know.”

Kavik would like to say he reacted with composure and grace. He would like to say that he brushed off the comment smoothly and moved on to the next store. He would like to say he returned Kaname’s wink. He would like to say a lot of things about how he handled the situation. The highly undignified squeak that forced itself out of his chest and his sudden impression of a stop light was none of these things. It was loud enough to catch the attention of the cashier and Felix and make Kavik melt into the floor. He covered his face with his sleeves

“Kavik you, uh, you good bud?” He heard Felix walk up next to him and felt a hand grasp his elbow. “Hey, Kavik? You look like you’re about to pass out.”
“Are we done yet? Can I go home and die now?” Kavik was whispering, but it seemed like his friend heard him because they laughed and patted him on the arm hard enough to sting a little.

“My dear sweet summer child. We have much left to do. You can die when we take a break.”

He groaned and moved his hands away from his face to see Kaname looking away from him and Kavik felt… disappointed? Relieved? Did Kaname think he hated him now? Oh no what if Kaname didn’t want to talk to him anymore and-

“Kaaaaviiikkkk.” Felix’s voice broke his train of thought before he could let it spiral out of control. “Kavik. Look. I know you have a thing about skin contact so I’m not going to poke you but also you have several holes in your sleeves right now that would theoretically allow me to poke you to prove my point. So no we’re not done yet.”

Kavik pulled a face and looked to see that he did have a few holes riddling the much sleeves of his shirt. He must’ve missed those the last time he checked it over, how long had it been like that? “Lay on, Macduff.”

Felix did a weird little jump-clap that Kavik might’ve called endearing if it wasn’t the harbinger of his impending doom and further mortification. He flashed them two half-hearted thumbs-up and followed behind as they grabbed Kaname by the arm of the way out of the store and directed them all to a different and much bigger store. It was loud and full of the type of people who came into the coffee shop and made Kavik’s life difficult. “Trust me, Kavik.” did little to actually make Kavik trust Felix but he also didn’t have many options.

“I’m Very Aware that this is Not Your Scene,” they said with a snort. “But you can get a lot of sweaters and whatever for cheap. They’ve always got a sale going and the shit that they mark $10 or less is usually better than whatever is actually on the floor. Life hack for you there.”

“Oh! That’s actually really helpful?” He ran an eye over the sale racks and was pleasantly surprised to find a large selection of sweaters and long-sleeves. He pulled a few items thought he thought would last a while and were blessedly hole free (intentional or otherwise) and looked up to find his friends gone. A quick survey of the store revealed Kaname on the other side looking at other things. Kavik hurried over to him after a moment’s hesitation.

“What are you looking at?”

If Kaname had been anyone else, he would’ve jumped at the sudden appearance of Kavik out of seemingly nowhere. As it was, his shoulders tightened for a moment before he turn to face Kavik with a wide grin. “I was finding some things for you to try on. If your friend is insistent on covering costs, I figured it wouldn’t help to broaden your horizons a little.” In his arms, Kavik could now see that he had a small collection of clothes tossed over one arm. Kavik quirked an eyebrow at the clothing.
“I didn’t know ‘Fashion Expert’ was on your list of skills.”

“More like I’m well aware of what I like.”

Was Kavik imagining it or did Kaname look him over when he said that?

“Here can I, um, take those from you?” He gestured to the clothes Kaname was holding.

“I’ve got it for now! Your arms are bit full as well it would seem. Also Felix seems to have abandoned us. Care to do a little more looking around while we wait?”

“Sure I guess? Did you find anything for yourself?”

Kaname shrugged. “I have to be honest, I wasn’t really looking for myself. That said, if you want to help me look I wouldn’t say no.”

“Oh! Alright then. Let’s, uh, let’s look around some more? I think there’s more over that way.”

They both moved towards the direction Kavik motioned to and picked over the racks over there as well. Kavik found a rack of accessories and gently rifled through them, curious to see what was being sold. A simple silver band caught his eye and he pulled it out to further examine it. The charm on it made him immediately look around to make sure Kaname didn’t see him pick it up before carefully hiding it among the few sweaters he was holding. There wasn’t much else of interest in the area, so Kavik eventually wandered back over to Kaname.

“Look, Kavik!” The other man showed him a black t-shirt covered in tiny white kittens. “It’s Ayame! Look how cute.”

The tiny white kittens were definitely reminiscent of Kaname’s own tiny white kitten. “Oh my goodness that’s adorable? They really do look like her.”

“There is a very high chance that I will walk out of here with this shirt. It’s very cute.”

“Yo-it really is. Hey uh have you seen Felix around? It’s been a minute and I’m worried they’ll have half the store in their pockets at this point. You laugh but it’s happened before.”

“I’m permanently banned from several areas of the mercantile persuasion.” A smug voice announced from Kavik’s back.

“Wha- Don’t! Sneak! Up! On! Us!” Kavik immediately moved away from Felix. “Where’d you even come from?!”

“Downstairs. There’s more clothes. Plus dressing rooms. Oh good you have things to try on I already got a room.”

“Oh thanks. That makes things a lot easier. Did you find something you were getting too?”

“Yeah but the important thing is I found things for you! C’mon before they decide they won’t hold the room anymore.”

“I don’t know how much I trust your judgement, Felix. Remember-”

“The important thing!” Felix interrupted him with a wide “Shut the Fuck Up” grin. “Is that the past literally does not matter and if you keep going it you don’t have to think about it! Like a shark! SO, let’s go downstairs, yeah? Great. Cool shirt Kaname.”

“Thank you Felix. You know I really don’t think that’s a healthy way to deal with-”

“I’m fiiiiine. Anyways, let’s go. If we link arms we can be like Wizard of Oz.”

“No thanks. But yeah let’s go downstairs so we’re not holding things up I guess?” Kavik pulled his arms closer to his body and quickly went down the stairs. Despite the threat of public sing-alongs, Kavik was beginning to enjoy himself a little. He’d been busy lately and hadn’t really gotten the chance to hang out with his friends. Even if they had dragged him along on this shopping excursion, it was nice to be outside of his house and head. That was probably the whole point of the trip if he really thought about it. At the base of the stairs, Felix retook the lead and led the way to the changing room they’d saved.

“That one right there. We’ll be waiting out here so we can yea or nay your choices.”

“Oh, don’t forget these, either.” Kaname offloaded the clothes he’d pulled for Kavik into his arms. The attendant gave all three of them an unimpressed stare as Kavik awkwardly pressed it all to his chest and moved into the room Felix indicated. Once he hung everything for easier access, he noticed several things off to the side haphazardly. With a sigh, he brought them out and held them up for Felix to see.

“As much as I appreciate it, um, skirts are definitely not my style? Did you mean to leave this in there or…?”

They cocked their head to the side and gave them a dead look. “You know I really just thought your legs would look fantastic in those.” A beat skipped, and then they bounced up with the usual smile. “Nah I’m just messin’ with you those are mine yeah. Gimme.”

With a sigh of relief Kavik tossed the clothes to Felix and went through the long process of changing in and out of various tops and outfits that had been chosen. In true 90s montage fashion, Kaname and Felix required him to multiple different poses to which they reacted with increasingly dramatic faces. The only time he actually hesitated was when he pulled on a t-shirt that was definitely not the right size.

“Um, hey? I don’t think this is right at all?” He called anxiously, trying to pull the fabric down to no avail.

“You’ll have to show us or else we can’t help, Kavik.” Was Kaname’s reply.

With a long sigh, Kavik edged himself into view, feeling a bit sheepish. “I don’t, uh, I really don’t think this is supposed to fit like this? And also I don’t know how a crop top even ended up in there because I definitely didn’t pick it? But it’s- um, yeah I don’t like it’s really, well. Are you sure it’s supposed to fit like this?”

He was so preoccupied with the shirt that he completely missed his friends subtly high-fiving each other while sending him an appreciative glance. “Trust me, Kavik, it is supposed to fit like that. Besides, what’s not to like about it? It’s got a moon on it, it’s totally your aesthetic.”

“I don’t, uh, I don’t think I’ll be keeping this one sorry.” As he disappeared back into the room he could’ve almost sworn he heard Kaname mumble something about “a pity.” The next (and last) sweater had a size problem in the opposite direction: it was huge. It wouldn’t stay on his shoulders which was extremely annoying. Even his friends laughed a little at how oversized on him, but Felix pointed out that it would be equivalent to wearing “a really comfy blanket” and he nearly kept it. “Wait, you’re just describing a snuggie. You were trying to get me a fashion snuggie.”

“Oooo it is?! It is! Kavik you Have To now. Kavik. Kavik, it’s a fashionable snuggie. It’s got a moon on it and everything there’s nothing bad about the sweater. Kaname tell him to get the sweater.”

Kaname tilted his head thoughtfully. “It’s a nice sweater. If you like it, I think you should get it.”

“I don’t really need it though.”

“There’s no harm in indulging yourself though, is there?”

Kavik released a long stream of air and looked down at the sleeves nearly engulfing his hands. It was extremely comfortable. “It’s- I guess not. And if Felix is paying…”

“Eeeexxxxaaaactly. There you go Kavik! Now you’re getting it! Kaname, you should come with us more often. I know Kavik certainly wouldn’t mind.”

“Well if Kavik wouldn’t mind.”

“Haham yeah. I’m gonna go… get changed back now? Just a minute.”

As Kavik turned to leave, Kaname said, “Wait. Do you have a tattoo?” He froze in place.

“I…I don’t like- I don’t want- I’ll-” He left before anyone could say anything else. Kavik didn’t like to think about the memories associated with the tattoos, and he usually did his best to forget about them at all. He knew Kaname couldn’t have known he didn’t like to bring attention to them either. Still, he had to take a few minutes to sit and collect himself before he could do anything else. Once he felt more in command of himself, Kavik collected all his things and re-emerged to Felix, shirt lifted up and pointing to a tattoo of their own, animatedly telling the story behind it.

“-so I’m trapped down there, water rushing in and all I had was chewing gum and a- oh The Boy is back! You good fam?”

He shook his head fondly at the antics. “I’m older than you. Don’t call me ‘The Boy.’ And put your shirt down.”

“Kavik you will always be The Boy just accept it. You ready to bounce?”

“Yeah I’ve got everything.”

“Kay. Meet you at the register then.” And then they vanished back into the main floor of the store, leaving Kavik alone with Kaname. Neither spoke for a moment before Kaname stood up to look Kavik in the eyes.

“I’m very sorry for causing you distress. I didn’t realize that the tattoos were a sensitive subject and I was careless. It won’t happen again.”

“Ummmmm, it’s okay? Thanks for apologizing? Let’s go get in line though now. I’m ready to get out of this store honestly.”

“Okay. Alright. Let’s get out of here.”

They moved towards the register together and Kavik suddenly the small trinket he found for Kaname. He was relieved to find that he’d remembered to bring it with him from the changing rooms and shuffled it between two sweaters when Kaname wasn’t looking. The other member of their party was, true to their word, waiting for them near the registers. When they noticed them, they popped under the line lane and waved them over. Kaname seemed to be distracted by something though and left with a quick “I’ll be back.” Unsure of what happened, Kavik went to the line alone.

“So did y’all kiss and makeup and all that?”

“Why are you like this?”

“I’ve been informed that I’m quote-unquote incorrigible. Anyway. Gimme your shit.”
They held their arms out expectantly, and Kavik hesitated for a moment before murmuring, “Felix, I found this bracelet and I want to give to Kaname. Can you be quiet about it?”

“Yeah man I can be chill. That’s cute bee-tee-dubs.”

“Why do you say it like that.”

“Specifically because it bothers you. Oh hey I’m next in line bye.”

“Hold on, Felix.” Kaname hurried over to the line, a white shirt clutched in his hand. “Kavik I found you t-shirt.” He unfurled it to reveal a simple picture of the moon with the caption “just passing through.” underneath it. Kavik’s eyes widened.

“I love it? Thank you?”

Kaname’s smiled widened into a full grin at his excitement. “I saw it and thought of you. Glad you like it.”

Felix rolled their eyes and waited expectantly. “Give it here.”

“Of course. Here.”

Kavik moved out of line to wait with Kaname while Felix paid again. Kavik could hear them muttering under their breath the whole time. “I’ve got got other interests, Felix. Your moon shirt’s no good, Felix. Me and my boyfriend are too gay and emotionally compromised to have an actual conversation. Let’s buy each other gifts on our friend’s dime.”

Kaname quirked an eyebrow at Kavik, who just shrugged.

“Hey, what do you say after this we, um, we take a break from shopping and go to the pet store?”

“I had no idea there was a pet store here. I’d love to go there.”

“Great! Hey Felix, we’ll meet you at the pet store, okay?”

“Yeah sure. See you in a minute then.”

The pair left the store and wandered around the mall trying to find the pet store. It turned out to be a bit more difficult than either of them anticipated. Neither of them ever went to the mall enough to know the layout well and the result was wandering for a solid 15 minutes.

“I don’t think either of us thought this through really.” Kaname laughed as they passed the same store for a third time.

Kavik couldn’t help but chuckle as well at the absurdity. “Here, I think we passed a map at some point? Let’s look and see where we are before we get stuck in here forever. Or pass Bath and Bodyworks again.”

“Well if I had to get lost and eternally wander the mall with anybody, I’m glad it was with you.”

Kavik’s face flushed and he turned away to go look for the map he vaguely remembered being by the escalators. Thankfully, he remembered correctly and found the blessed thing instead of being forced to roam some more. After studying the map for a few moments, he found their current location and, a few moments later, the pet shop. He traced the path lightly, committing it to memory, before turning abruptly and almost plowing over Kaname.

“I’m sorry! So sorry! Er, but I found the pet shop. It’s over in that direction. Apparently we missed a second hallway of stores or something? Anyway, let’s go.”

“Good plan.”

This time, the walk was much shorter and they managed to spot the bright red entrance from at least 10 feet away.

“I really don’t know how we missed that.” Kaname muttered. At the same time, he grabbed Kavik’s hand and walked briskly towards the store. For his part, Kavik wasn’t quite sure what was happening, and he couldn’t decide if he wanted to hold tighter or yank his hand away. He settled for agonizing endurance and matched pace with Kaname. All his anxiety melted away once they finally reached their destination, though, and he saw three tiny kittens playing in the window.

“Ohhhh my goodness. Kaname. Kaname look at these kittens.”

“They are adorable. In fact, I think they might be the second cutest thing I’ve seen all day. But look, there’s more inside.” He dragged Kavik through the doorway to look at the cats further in. They only really moved when Kavik noticed there were dogs in the back and pulled Kaname along in excitement.

“Kaname I want to take them all with me. Why can’t I take them all home with me?”

“Your apartment is No Pets Allowed. Which, frankly, is nonsense. It’s okay, I want to take them all home too. But I can’t either.”

“This isn’t fair.”

“I know, dear.”

“Do you think I could steal one of these puppies for Charlotte? She would die over that floofy one in the corner.”

Kavik wasn’t even surprised anymore, he just sighed. “Hi Felix.”

“Hey. No so you never answered my question. See I was casing this place until I got bored waiting and went to Lush and I really think I could steal the dog.”

“Please don’t steal the dog.”

“But it would make Charlotte so happy?”

“Yes,” Kaname agreed. “But also consider: how are you going to take the dog home on the bus?”

“Oh fuck you. Out here making sense and shit. Kavik your boyfriend is a fun-killer.”

“He’s not my boyfriend. Do you think they’d let me pet the dogs?”

“Kavik your Non-Boyfriend is a fun-killer. And yeah man. You can go sit in the pen and they’ll let you pet a puppy.”

“Don’t you have to be an adul- I am an adult. Oh my goodness? I can pet the dogs all the time???”

“Are you… are you okay?” Kaname looked genuinely concerned.

“No. But that’s okay because I’m going to pet the dogs.”

“Yeah you are.”

Felix slipped over to one of the employees and said a few words to them before sidling back over to Kavik and Kaname. “Yeah so like, go sit in that pen over there and go nuts man.”

“I love the mall so much right now.” And Kavik dropped Kaname’s hand to go sit in the pen and play with the husky mutt that they brought out for him. In all honesty, Kavik thought those might’ve been the best fifteen minutes of his life. The puppy was content to play tug of war with him and chase whatever toy he tossed away for it and bury his hands in its thick coat. He really wished his apartment allowed pets because he would absolutely take this dog with him in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, his fifteen minutes ran out and he (very regretfully) let the employee take the puppy away. His friends flashed him thumbs up, which he returned after sanitizing his hands.

“You think you’re ready to hit the food court now, Kavi? Because Kaname is buying and I’ve never said no to another person offering to feed me in my life.”

“Yeah I guess. Thanks for waiting for me?”

“What, like we were just gonna ditch you? Nah! You were having a good time, I can take time out of my non-existent schedule to make sure you’re enjoying yourself.”

“Well when you say it like that.”

“Mmmhm. Now let’s go. There’s bread bowl calling my name.”

The food court was slightly more crowded than when they’d first arrived, but Kaname managed to find them a table that was relatively sheltered and away from the throngs of people. He also managed to get Kavik to order something with minimal amounts of deflecting and trying to bow out. Once they were all sat down, Kavik admitted that he was completely done and ready to go home. The others agreed that it was time to call it quits. Kaname apparently had some work at home to do and Felix was checking a watch that they definitely didn’t start the “adventure” with regularly.

Which reminded Kavik. “Where did you get the money for this whole thing, by the way, Felix. Cause you usually, y’know?”

Felix paused in the middle of ripping into their bread bowl to look up at Kavik with a crooked smile. “Mmm best you don’t ask. Let’s just say I did some really successful commission work recently.”

“What does-”

“Look, Kavi. Sometimes self-care is dropping $8 on a bath bomb.”

“That doesn’t even-”

“So where were you and Kaname? Cause I was waiting in the pet store forever y’all get lost or something?”

Kaname picked that point to jump in. “Funnily enough, yes.” He recounted the story of their Hobbit-style epic, making it a lot funnier than Kavik actually remembered it being. Eventually they all finished eating and then it was time to collect their things and move back towards the bus. Kavik condensed everything he’d gotten into one bag and tried not to think of just how much had actually been spent during the escapade. The bracelet sat at the front of his mind the whole bus ride home.

The walk back to Kavik’s apartment was much more pleasant than the one leaving, and Kavik said as much. That made both of his friends burst out laughing and Kavik cracked a grin in spite of himself. Felix didn’t hang out long after making sure everyone got into Kavik’s apartment, citing “pressing business” and then disappearing. It was only after he’d put his bag in his room that Kavik realized they’d “disappeared” Trash Jacket™ along with them.

“You did get a replacement jacket, though.” Kaname pointed out. “That was the whole point of all of this.”

“It’s the principle of the matter. But you’re right.”

“I am, sometimes. It’s always a pleasant surprise when it happens.”

“Oh hush.” Kavik sat on the opposite end of the couch from Kaname, knees drawn up to his chest to avoid crowding him and avoiding the risk of any accidental contact. “I had a… nice time today. It wasn’t all as horrible as I thought it would be. It, um, helps when you have good company.” He was looking anywhere except at Kaname now.

“Mmm. I had the same thought.”

“I actually-” He leaned his head against his knees. “I actually got you a gift?” He had to uncurl a little to fish the bracelet out of his pocket and held it out expectantly. It left his grip gently and he waited to hear Kaname’s verdict.

“It’s lovely. Thank you Kavik.”

“I just, I saw it and I thought of you? I’m, um, I’m, oh uh, I’m really glad you liked it. It wasn’t anything special.”

“It’s certainly special. It’s a gift from you after all.”

Why did he have to be so nice and sweet? Kavik was reaching “melt into the floor levels” again.

“Kavik?”

“Yea?”

“Kavik? Look at me?”

Kavik peeked up to see Kaname looking at him with- well he couldn’t really interpret that expression. “Yeah?”

“Would you like to-” Kaname was looking a little pink now too. “That is, do you want to get coffee with me? Just the two of us sometime?”

The words took a moment to process. “Just the two of us?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. Ooh. Ohhhh? Yes?”

“Yes?”

“Yes. I’d love to get coffee with me. With you. Just the two of us I mean.”

“Really? That’s great to hear, that’s amazing to hear. I’ll… oh no what time is it?” Kaname checked the time on his phone a pulled a face. “I have to go, but I’ll c- text you later okay?”

“O-okay.”

“I’ll- Later then?”

Kavik nodded firmly. “Later then.”

“Alright.”

And with that, Kaname left Kavik’s apartment with nearly the same amount of quiet grace he’d come in with originally. As soon as he was gone Kavik buried his face in the couch cushions to cover his glowing face. He was in So Much Trouble now.

anonymous asked:

I don't think you do anything like this except with the clown prince but I wanted to know what Jared and Shannon would be like if they had a son. Really like your blog by the way. ❤

Thank you! I don’t write it but you can always ask about it if that helps clear it up. I think Jared would struggle with a son more. Especially since his relationship with his dad didn’t exist and his step dad relationship was rough. He’d be more scared of what to do with a son or repeating mistakes. I think it would be harder for him to form an emotional connection with a son. He’s really close with his mom and also just seems to get along better with women, it looks like he has more girl friends than guy friends. Like some men think having a son is easier because they know exactly what it’s like and what they go through, but for Jared that would be a negative thing because he’d be too worried his son will go down same paths he did. I just in general think he’d be a bit clueless with a son. Shannon however, I think it’s the opposite and he’d do better with a son over a daughter. He’d look at it as a fresh start for himself in a way and form a very best buddy type of relationship. 

anonymous asked:

i've told myself i'm bi for So long and i think i'm actually a lesbian, i needed to say this somewhere because it's been eating away at me lmao like i only find very specific men attractive every 500 years and even the men i like look feminine lmao. i think i've just been trying to convince myself there's some straightness in me so that my family won't be disappointed but like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

im glad u figured it out maybe ಥ‿ಥ

Drunken weekend

Wow hangover from hell what a drunken weekend. Out with hubby and friends Saturday must have had 8 bottles of cider or more. My nephew came in pub with his mates so I went talked to them and flirted. My nephew still wants me he begged me how long can I hold out!!
Sunday i had arranged with some gfs to watch a band at a club no men with us. More drink just topped me up. No one there that really caught my eye. Never mind.
Got taxi home saw driver keep looking at me realised he could see my legs so I though give him a show. Flashed my legs and then took my knickers off he was smiling. So I left my knickers for him.
Trouble is my head is banging now.

  • Jon: I was resurrected after being stabbed by my own men.
  • Sansa: Oh well that's definitely the weirdest thing I've heard so far.
  • Bran: Hey Sansa, couldn't help but overhear your conversation and I just wanted to let you know that you looked beautiful on your wedding night.
  • Sansa: Holy fuck what that's fucking creepy Bran what the fu-wait Arya what's that in your bag?
  • Arya: Oh, these? These are my faces. The faces that I wear. As an assassin. I can speak in their voice, live in their skin...even become you.
  • Sansa, packing her bags: All right you guys it's been fun catching up really missed you but I think I have to go very very far away from here see you all next Christmas
Ten eclipse tips

1. Never look directly at the sun. This makes the sun uncomfortable, and may be interpreted as an attempt to establish dominance. The sun almost never attacks unless eye contact is made first. Always practice sun safety!

2. Similarly, do not try to photograph the eclipse. Solar eclipses have no reflections, cannot be viewed in mirrors, and require a constant supply of blood. As a consequence, they are unphotographable and you should probably avoid them after dark.

3. If you are still planning to use your camera during the eclipse, we recommend using a delayed-release timer. This should give you enough time to flee to a safe distance. Remeber to etch your camera body with your name so that you can identify the remains afterwards. A silver memory card is also a must if you insist on retrieving the pictures, although we cannot think why you would want to.

4. Plan your trip to the area of totality beforehand. Choose an area that has viable escape routes, is not downwind of any volcanoes, and contains no graves. Note that this includes fossils: be sure to check ahead of time!

5. Never watch the eclipse whilst driving. You should only drive away from eclipses, which, as previously noted, will not be discernable in the rear-view mirror. If you do look behind you whilst fleeing an eclipse, the eclipse may not be allowed to return to Earth and you may end up being torn apart by either maenads or eclipse hunters of the future.

6. No matter how exciting your picnic plans may be, never bisect a piece of raw meat inside a circle of salt at the moment of greatest darkness.

7. During the eclipse, birds may get confused and wander off. If you encounter any disorientated birds, treat them kindly and give them directions back to the sky. It may also start raining men. This is not normal and should be reported to the authorities.

8. Make sure to look at your shadow during the eclipse. I mean, when did you last look at your shadow? Really look? The poor thing is feeling neglected and goodness knows they get anxious during periods of partial darkness. Give it a little hug if you can and make sure it knows you’re thinking of it.

9. Look out for light beaming through the canyons of the moon. If you can record these points on a moon map, you too may be able to cash in on the lunar light-mining revolution which is soon to come. In the future years of darkness you will be very glad you did this.

10. After viewing the eclipse, you may feel a chill hollow at the very heart of your being, as though the circle of darkness had sucked a portion of your soul away with it. But be honest: this is how you felt before the eclipse, isn’t it? We find it reassuring to know that experimental theologians have comprehensively debunked the soul-extraction eclipse theory. That awful absence most likely comes from creeping nightwalkers or the things without lanterns instead.

Teen Wolf 6x13 spoilers.

I always liked Brett. He was bi. He danced with men and women. He flirted with Mason and Corey. He got a scholarship to a school, so his sister could make friends. He pushed all of Liam’s buttons, well before the other was a werewolf, and he ended up caring for Liam. He lost all his family in a fire, and he and sister were taken in by another pack. He fought back against the people that attacked him. He was smart, he left clues knowing his sister would look for him. He was a minor character, but sometimes people find connections in those people too.

But leave it to Teen Wolf to ruin things. I know people have to die to make things exciting, but Brett and Lori deserved better. Brett was attacked by a woman in an authority position. He was hunted, poisoned, shot at, and shot by an arrow.

But Brett kept going, trying to save his sister, and in the end they both get hit by a car. A trap laid out by Gerard Argent. A trap to kill two teenagers.

If Argent survives this season, I’m going to scream. I want Derek to literally rip his face off.

2

                                             -Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr