these are so lame oh my god

EDIT: HI an anony sent me the following,

Hi! I don’t follow u so idk if you’ve been told this but ur translation for Teru’s text is a little off bc u misread a character- Teru says いい子で待っ⭐️テル⭐️んだよ! (you misread 子 as そ) and the translation for that would basically be: be a good girl and wait (for teru, as the pun would go) This also makes more sense since Teru is not the one waiting but instead making her wait ( ´ ▽ ` )

Now I am DYING and scream what a player omg

Originally I had said,

I noticed at the beginning of episode 5 of Mob Psycho 100, Teru was texting a girl he was going to have lunch with. He responds with “いいぞで待っ★テル★んだよ” which roughly means “Sure, I’ll be waiting” BUT makes a pun with his name. “Matteru” is to wait, and as you can see to make sure you really see the TERU part of the word he puts his name in stars.

I tried to think of an English equivalent, and the best I could come up with is “See you in an in★TERU★m (interim).” Oh my God, that is so lame….

Teru a punster confirmed.

Hire me, Viz.

poems i would write you | shawn mendes

word count: 9,018 (i was gonna split this up, but decided to just keep it together. it’s long. put on your favorite sweatpants and grab that bag of hot cheetos you’ve been saving before you dig into this thing.)

author’s note: GUESS WHO’S BACK, BACK AGAIN? BERRY’S BACK, TELL A FRIEND. welcome to the first installment of my college!shawn series, which takes place during Y/N’s (that’s you) freshman year. it’s got fluff, angst, and some pretty stupid decisions on everyone’s part. title from “shot down” by khalid, as per a recommendation from @light-up-shawn. enjoy.


Your name: submit What is this?

i.

Upon your arrival to college, you had been on the receiving end of entirely too much advice from various relatives, older friends, and even strangers. Don’t walk alone at night, don’t sign up for eight AM classes, don’t drink the “jungle juice” at any frat parties.

Your parents had told you to focus on your studies and seek tutoring help if you needed it. Your sister had encouraged you to join a sorority to really be at “the heart” of university life, as if you knew what that meant. The only advice your cousin gave you was to always remember your room key and to pack a pair of shower shoes, the latter of which she accompanied with a shudder - you could piece together that anecdote on your own.

But nobody had prepared you for this particular problem.

Keep reading

Isak and Even look like a relatively chill couple when they are around their friends. They don’t go overboard with the whole PDA thing. And to some walking by, they would look just like five friends hanging out if they’d ignore the occasional heart-eyes those two throw at each other or the fond! laughter that is heard when one of them tells such a bad joke that even Magnus is like ??? It’s not even funny??

But Even is still Even and he loves showing his adoration for Isak through flirty comments at the oddest of times. So when all the boys are at the café, Mahdi will try to pick his coffee and flinch, hissing ‘damn that’s hot!’ and Even will just put his arm around Isak’s shoulder and sigh ‘yes, he really is…’ while smirking at him with those you’re the most adorable human being on earth eyes.

And Isak will playfully shove Even’s arm off and mutter ‘that was so lame, Even. Oh my god’ but his blush that will burst on his cheeks and the shy smile that he will throw at his boyfriend will give away how pleased and happy the comment made him.

TRANSCRIPT OF QUESTIONS FROM JACK’S PANEL

Here is the transcript from the panel only including the actual questions, for the people who cant watch / don’t have time / or who were triggered by some of the topics discussed. 

All of the personal stories have been removed, this is just the questions that the fans asked and Jack answered. Some questions were left out as i either couldn’t hear it properly or they were too complicated to write out (only one or two). Enjoy!


Fan: I wanted to know if you could speak another language?

Jack: Uh, kinda? I mean- I barely speak english, so. I speak a small bit of Irish, French, Danish, a little bit of Korean. Not very well!

————

Fan: I have a serious question, do you want to go to prom with me?

Jack: I was waiting for some very strong political commentary or something. Dude i’ll go to prom with you! I’m not a cheap date though. Im gonna need a limo, a dress, flowers.. Ok, sure. No problem. Hit me up. Hit me up in the DMs. Slide into them DMs man.

————

Fan: Do you prefer the original ghostbusters or the remake?

Jack: What do you think? It’s like- Do you like to eat pizza, or do you like to eat garbage? Does that answer your question? [laughs]

————

Fan: What’s your favourite song?

Jack: Im gonna have to go with the opening to Peppa Pig. It’s the best. It’s hard to top that. [snorts] [quietly sings Peppa Pig theme song]

————

Fan: Whats your favourite soundtrack from a game?

Jack: Oh, Jesus. See, everyone wants me to say Undertale, and that’s a good one, but i’m going to have to go with Shadow of the Colossus. And thats not just because its my favourite game ever, i think the soundtrack is really good and it really compliments that game as well. And its epic, you should work out to that soundtrack. Just like, battling titans, its amazing.

————

Fan: Since you don’t like Guinness, what kind of beer do you like?

Jack: See i’m like the worst irishman. I like beer but it’s like, Miller and Coors. Im so not patriotic at all. I like light beers. Im sorry everybody!

————

Fan: Do you like Twenty One Pilots and if so, what’s your favourite song by them?

Jack: I started off listening to their Blurry Face album- [Audience cheers] Man, thats all i have to talk about is Twenty One Pilots and then i’m good? [Audience cheers again] My favourite song from them is Lame Boy.

————

Fan: I wanted to know what your favourite storyline series is on the channel? Aside from Shadow of the Colossus.

Jack: Oh god, hit me with all the big questions. I don’t know, there’s a lot of good ones that i’ve played that have really good stories. My current favourite one is Night in the Woods. I love it, it’s just so weird! “Im a total trash mammal”. But probably Undertale. I’m not pandering either, i really like it.

————

Fan: Is there something that you wanted to try in the next year that you haven’t tried before?

Jack: Hmm, how much am i allowed to say… One thing that i want to try more of, and i’ve said this in videos, is to try and do this kind of thing in a touring fashion. To try and go around- because we always go to these events, and we always go to panels at them, but not everyone can come to this and there’s people watching at home- Hi people at home! [waves at camera] So it kind of sucks because all of these events go on in places that certain people can’t get to. So im going to try and do a thing- its not going to be anything crazy. We’re just going to try and do a thing where we go to more places and try and do more of these at different venues. Hopefully, i don’t know how that’s going to work, we need to test it out first. It could be awful. But hopefully we can get it done.

————

Fan: What video was the most fun for you to make?

Jack: Oh god, there’s like four million of them. I don’t know, it’s different because different things are fun for different reasons. Recording certain series- recording Shadow of the Colossus was really fun because its my favourite game, and then recording The Last Guardian was awesome because that was the sequel to that. And then recording with these guys [gestures to Mark, Ethan, etc] is awesome as well because we always laugh a lot. Different games for different reasons, certain things that- well, its more the ones that stand out to me more so the ones that are ‘fun’. It’s easy to have fun but its hard for a game to have a huge impact on you. 

So two games that come to mind that have had a huge impact on me was ‘That Dragon, Cancer’ because thats just a rollercoaster from start to finish. That and ‘The Beginners Guide’ was a big one for me. Because i remember when i finished recording that video i was like “Ok, people are going to like this. I love this, this was a good thing to record.” And it was a nice experience to share and i don’t often get to do that with games. Like its fun to do Happy Wheels and everything, but at the end of the day they all kind of blend together. These are the ones that stand out, and it’s the one that stand out and sit there for a very long time that mean the most to you. Not that they were the most fun to record, but they were the ones to kind of stay with me the longest.

————

Fan: Is there a game that you play that you’re not very fond of?

Jack: Ooo, good one. I don’t know, i don’t think there is. If there’s ever a game that i’m not really fond of i just don’t play it. I think that goes for a lot of people. Or if i get bored of something i usually stop playing it. Well a lot of games i don’t know what they’re going to be like until i play it. God i wish i had an example, im bad at this. What videos have i recorded?

————

Fan: If you were to discover a planet in outer space, what would you name that planet?

Jack: Well, Uranus is taken. So im going to have to go with Urectum.

————

Fan: What kept you motivated throughout your entire YouTube career even when things seemed like they would never go your way?

Jack: Its going to sound like a cop out, but literally the people who watch the videos. I know it sounds cheesy and it sounds like you’re pandering to the people, but thats the real reason. There’s always a time when you’re uploading stuff that you don’t know if its going to do well or you don’t know if people are going to like it, and sometimes it just takes off and people love it. Then there’s always the times when you feel really down and you can go into the comments or go on Instagram or Tumblr or Twitter or something, and you can see people saying really nice things, or you will see them drawing fan art of the game that you’ve played or telling you their story. Like the people who have come up and said that you’ve helped them a lot, its that kind of stuff that keeps you going. 

Because it’s very easy when you’re doing YouTube to get very jaded by it, because there’s a lot of- like when you get super involved in it and you do it as your job and you’re doing it day after day all the time, its very easy for it to consume you and to make you feel a bit cynical about everything. I don’t know, like you kind of take for granted what you have. So its when you do things like this, when you meet people, when you hear their stories and you hear how much what you do means to them, even if you think its silly, that keeps you going. Because you mean a lot for other people, as much as the people mean for you when they watch your videos. It’s a very back and forth thing and i definitely think its the viewers who watch your content.

————

Fan: Does pineapple belong on pizza?

Jack: HELL YES.

————

Fan: What do you want to say to all of the haters of pineapple on pizza out there?

Jack: Fuck you. There’s two types of people in the world, people who like pineapple on pizza, and people who are wrong [points at Mark]

————

Fan: When the full release [of Subnautica] comes out in May, are you going to re-do the series?

Jack: Yes. I mean, i feel like i kind of have to. Well i’ll probably skip a lot of the similar stuff like building bases and farming things [can’t hear what he said here] and whatever we haven’t seen or if stuff has changed or anything like that. I will definitely do it again, i love that game. The more Subnautica i get to play, the better. Its like the best game ever.

————

Fan: How is it like to make people smile every day?

Jack: It’s the best, man. Its awesome. It’s weird when you do- like i know that YouTube, what we do, people don’t consider it a job, but it is a job. And not a lot of people get to have that sort of feedback in their job or their line of work or the stuff that they like to do, or in their hobbies even. So its really cool that the stuff that we get to do that makes us happy, in turn reflects and makes other people happy, which in turn makes us happy, then it makes you happy. So its a really cool thing. I love it. I can’t imagine myself doing anything else anymore and it’s the best feeling in the world.

————

Fan: What’s a big goal that you want to achieve this year or in the next coming years?

Jack: Its like talking to a guidance counsellor again, like, ‘Where do you see yourself in five years?’. I don’t know, happy? [laughs]

Fan: It’s ok, happy is good. Stay happy!

Jack: I will try my best. As i said in the other question, i hope to do touring, and there’s other stuff that i’m trying to get done, that i can’t really say anything about and we don’t know if they’re going to happen or not so i don’t want to put stuff out there. As i said in the new years video i did, i just want to try and reach my potential or at least push past that. Because again, it’s very easy to just get complacent and just upload videos and do whatever, but you need to have that drive and that fire in you to keep going and try new things. I really want to try new things because i keep putting it off a lot of the time like, ‘oh, i have to make videos today i don’t have time for that.’ 

So i want to try and do more, and try and do bigger and better things because i always see other people do bigger and better things and its really inspiring. I want to try and reach that kind of potential as well. And i want to surprise people more than anything. I don’t want to just do the same thing over and over again and people think ‘oh its the loud, swearing Irishman.’ That’s cool, and that’s going to be on my gravestone, but i want to do more, and i want to as i said, surprise people and maybe do stuff that people thought i couldn’t do or stuff that i didn’t think i could do. I don’t know what that is, but we will find out together.

————

Fan: What’s it like knowing that thousands, millions of people support you in your dream even though 95% of them you’ve never met?

Jack: That is a weird thing, isn’t it? Because i always meet people and like all you guys here, a lot of you know who i am, some of you probably don’t, you probably just wandered in here, saw a crowd and was like ‘sure, whats going on in here?’ [laughs] So its really weird when you meet people and they know so much about you but you know almost nothing about them. Or maybe you know their username or their avatar and stuff like that, so i don’t know, it’s really bizarre. It’s a really surreal feeling, it’s awesome, i love that. I love that when you do YouTube you can reach so many different people, and not just world wide, there is so many people in different countries that speak languages that i had never even heard spoken, that you can see watched your video and im like, how? That kind of stuff is just so cool. I’m always fascinated by it. I don’t think i’ll ever stop being fascinated by it.

————

Fan: When did you and Signe meet? And how?

Jack: We actually met through Tumblr, which is really weird. Whenever i tell people that, they are kind of like ‘Oh.. i don’t know..’ Oh, we have five minutes! Ok, really fast. So, i was on Tumblr one day, and i was looking at a cool thing, and then she was like ‘hey dude wassup’ and i was like ‘yo girl wassup’ and then i was like ‘oh awesome.. thats pretty cool’ [laughs] 

No, she had drawn some stuff of me a long time ago and then we just got talking. I can’t remember what we got talking about first, i’m terrible. And then i needed- I asked her if i could use one of her pieces of art in a thumbnail for a fan game that was done, so we just kind of got talking through that. And then she was doing a livestream on her birthday, and she was drawing me in it, so i stopped in, creepily. And i just said, “Hey, you better draw me pretty.” as a joke and she said “Go fuck yourself.” so i was like [nods head] Suh dude? [laughs] Its not just some magical fairytale, i didn’t ride in on a white horse brandishing a blade. I’m such a Casanova, right?

Valentine’s Day Sentence Starters

Mixed Starters :: Cute :: Fluffy :: Valentine’s Day Gone Wrong.

  1. “Who needs a date on valentine’s day when I have you?”
  2. “Our waiter is so hot.”
  3. "No, you have fun with your date. Don’t let my being stood up stop you.”
  4. “Oh, my god… the babysitter just cancelled on us! how are we supposed to go on the date now?”
  5. “Valentine’s day is my favorite holiday! I know it’s lame but I can’t help it. I’m a hopeless romantic. there, I said it.”
  6. “We’re going Dutch, right?”
  7. “Tell me that’s not my ex over there.”
  8. “What do you mean you’re at the restaurant across town?”
  9. “You’re literally the worst when it comes to being romantic.”
  10. “Babe, you know I love you, but… last time you cooked me a meal, I ended up in hospital. can’t we just go out for dinner…?”
  11. “Nobody said anything about this being a cover band!”
  12. “Um… yeah, these are really nice and all, but I’m allergic to roses.”
  13. Tthis is the worst valentine’s surprise ever! were you trying to scare me to death?!”
  14. “Oh my– are you proposing?!”
  15. “Do you think my secret admirer might finally reveal themselves today?”
  16. “Valentine’s day is such a scam of a holiday… it’s so stupid! I hate it.”
  17. “We’re eating out at the Golden Arches!”
  18. “We’re going to do anti-valentine’s day this year. we’re going to go out and do all of the least romantic date ideas ever, just to stick it to the man.”
  19. “I can’t believe I’m actually at a wedding on valentine’s day. what a lame cliché.”
  20. “Does this have caramel in it? I’m allergic to caramel!”
  21. “How was I supposed to know there would be a bee in the bouquet?!”
  22. “This is not a proposal!”
  23. “I shaved my legs for this?”
  24. “My boss told me I have to work late.”
  25. “I didn’t realize these tickets were for the nosebleed section.”
  26. “Um, I tried to buy some sexy underwear, but I think they sent me the wrong size…”
  27. “That movie was awful.”
  28. “You can’t seriously be proposing right now? on valentine’s day? couldn’t you have thought of something a little more original than that?”
  29. “Something has been nibbling on these chocolates.”
  30. “Um, I know this is really cliché and all, but it’s valentine’s day and I just wanted to say… I really like you.”
  31. “I’m going to be stuck at work for a little longer… I’m sorry, I know it’s our date tonight…”
  32. “I forgot to make reservations.”
  33. “I am not going to be your fake-date to this party.”
  34. “I wish I could do more for you today but I’m really broke…”
  35. “I love them and all, but their poetry is so bad! they’ve written seven love poems just for today.”
  36. “So… can I assume you don’t have a date tonight either?”
  37. “Olive Garden is not fine dining!”
  38. “I’m really sorry my dog peed on your good shoes.”
  39. “I didn’t forget that it was valentine’s day! I swear! your present is just… it’s somewhere else.”
  40. “What do you mean these diamonds are fake?”
  41. “We’re out of condoms.”
Puppy

Reader x Stiles Stilinski

(NOT MY GIF)

*Requested

Imagine: You go to a meeting at Scott’s house, to discuss over the new Beacon Hills’ new threat. There you bump into Peter Hale, who you deeply dislike, because he has precious information. But he makes the mistake of threatening Stiles, your boyfriend, and this get wild.

Word Count: 2252

The clock in your bedroom stroke seven P.M., letting you know you were terribly late for today’s meeting, which had been scheduled by Scott almost a week ago. And, if you knew McCall right, which you did, the boy would probably be plotting a way to rip your head off for not having enough commitment (you also feared for your ears) towards the pack issues. Like he did every single bloody time.

“Mum? I’m leaving!”

“May I know where are you going?”

“Scott’s.” You replied, softly, while grabbing your keys. “Don’t worry, I won’t be gone long. It’s just a couple of hours.”

“That’s exactly what you said last time! Y/N… Are you, like, seeing him? Or whatever you teens call it this days? Because it’s okay, he’s actually a good kid and…”

What the heck?” Your voice came out quickly and as a high pitched sound. “Oh, God, no. Absolutely no.”

“You two spend too much time together, I just assumed…”

“Well, you’re wrong. He’s just a good friend who happens to need my help in, ah, biology.” You blurted out, finding some lame excuse to explain why you would be at his home.

“Oh, I’m sorry. So guys have been studying together this whole time?”

“Yeah, totally. He was almost failing.”

Of course lying to your mum was bad and, since the beginning, when you were turned into a werewolf, you truly desired to come clean with her about everything. However, Scott told you it would be better, and safer, if she did not know. Pondering a little, it was pretty clear that he was right. The woman would probably have a stroke or worse: send you to Eichen House believing her poor daughter had lost her mind. Considering both scenarios were bad, you chose wisely and stayed quiet.

“If it’s that bad, then you shouldn’t be wasting time talking to me. Go!”

“Thank you, beautiful!”

“And by the way, if I were you, I’d totally go for Scott. He’s hot!”

“Mum, you’re married!” Your eyes widened upon hearing the comment and you had hold in a laugh.

“So what? I’m married, not blind.”

“And that’s my cue to leave. Bye!”

“Be careful out there!”

You walked out of the house silently and went straight to the car, not having enough guts to agree with your mum. Even though she was not aware of your double life, being a supernatural creature meant you would always be a target to the bad guys and your life would always be at stake. So, definitely, “safety” was promise you could not live up to.

“This is not a good time to feel guilty about helping other people, Y/N.” You said to yourself, tightening the grip around the steering wheel.

Although McCall’s house was not far from yours, getting there alone was legit challenge. The road was dark and thin rain began to pour, which got your senses all crazy. Perhaps it was because a two hundred bad ass werewolf was running around in town and no one had clue on how to stop it.

A small sigh slipped, knowing that was, doubtless, tonight’s discussion subject. The third time in the week they gathered to share information and no one had a single thing to say. Not even Stiles, who could never shut his mouth up. Matter fact, sometimes you had to kiss him for it to happen, otherwise… Oh, and yes, he was your boyfriend. Sort of. Argh, it was complicated.

Without further warning, your phone began to rang loudly, scaring the hell out of you and forcing your return to reality.

“Uh, hi?”

Y/N, where, for God’s sake, are you?” An angry alpha shouted.

“Don’t worry, Scotty. I’m already outside, just give me two minutes to park.”

We’ve talked about this before and you keep letting it happen.

“Oh, don’t be so mad. I just got caught up in some family drama!” You said, finally finding a spot near his house to park your car. “Apparently, my mum thinks you’re hot.”

What?!” He squeaked, nervous, and you simply laughed. “Are you serious?

“Oh, yeah. She thought we were dating and when I said we’re not, well, the words ‘I’d go for Scott’ may have slipped.”

While you walked towards his house, shaking from the rain, you heard him repeat the word “God” at least twenty times, which made a tiny giggle escape. It was hard not to laugh when Scott got nervous.

I still can’t believe this.

“Then don’t.” You shrugged. “Come open up the door for me.”

The phone suddenly went mute and was exchanged by sounds of feet thumping against the floor, clumsily, which indicated that it was Stiles who was coming. Your heart warmed up, thrilling with the idea of being with him again after so many hours split. If it was up to you, there was no time in the day you would be apart from Stilinski. And you knew he felt exactly the same way every time he pulled you into his warmth.

“Hey, you.” Stilinski whispered, winking.

“Hey.”

Your story with that brown haired boy was long and complicated, because not long ago he was madly in love with Lydia Martin, one of your best friends too. They had a kind of love you did not want to get in the middle of it, despite the pain you had to face all those times you saw him chase her down or hear him talk about the red hair over and over. However, as your friendship grew stronger, those feelings began to be left behind, opening up space for something new. Something neither of you could understand at its fullest.

“Are you in there?” Stiles asked, intertwining your fingers with one hand and the other was stroking your cheek.

“Oh, yeah. I just missed you, love.”

Keep reading

oh my god so last night i had a dream where dipper walked into the kitchen of the mystery shack to find a stack of really delicious pancakes and he asked grunkle stan “who made these pancakes?” and stan just stares at the door way and says “the author of the journals…..my brother” and it just cuts to the author like it does in nwhs like the exact same clip except he’s wearing a chef’s hat and  eughrugrtgr

heartthrob pt 2 | (M)

Heartthrob (n): One who is considered pleasing to the senses, often resulting in increased respiration, increased circulation to the face, and a noticeable “pounding” in the chest.

genre: fluff, angst, smut, fuckboy!hoseok au, college au.

ahh, finally! this took 5 days omg. shout out to @amazon-bookworm​, my lovely editor :’) also tagging a couple thirsty hoes; @dailydoseofdia​, @lostinbangtan​, @minyooengi​, @jimins-a-twat​, @cutiepiebts​, @jimin-bean​, @war-of-hormoan​, @jiminniemouse​, @onepercenttt​, @we-go-hard-in-the-coffeehouse@pjimns… I think that’s everyone??

part 1 | drabbles

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tarydarry  asked:

"That is one hell of a mess.” kashleth

So, here’s the thing about Kashaw: he isn’t really a people person. People really, really don’t like him. And that’s fine. Because he really, really doesn’t like people.

(”You’re just objectively a dislikable person,” Zahra told him a few months into their friendship.

After a moment of silence, he’d simply said, “Wow, Zee.”

“You’re not arguing.”

“…No. I’m not.”)

So the thing about Kash not being a people person? It means he’ll go to any length to avoid having to interact with people for any longer than necessary.

And if that means going to the grocery store at two in the morning specifically to get a can of soup and some ginger ale, then so be it.

Keep reading

Bowling date

Characters: Jeongguk & You 

Genre: fluff fluff fluff (i was supposed to write something else but watching his vlive distracted me and apparently i haven’t written fluff with him before)

Words: 2422

Summary: Jungkook is trying to be cool but fails (because he’s too cute for his own good) featuring you trying to impress him with you non-existing bowling skills.

Originally posted by jjks

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take this burden - part 22

Jian Yi and Zhengxi.

[ leave a trace - CHVRCHES ]

-

Jian Yi liked to think about their first time.

Zhengxi did too.

But they rarely talked about it.

Jian Yi had spent so many years desperately wanting his best friend.

Not just sexually, necessarily.

He just…wanted him.

After awhile, being friends wasn’t enough.

And, after a while, after being turned down so very many times- it was time to move on.

No one but Jian Yi knows the extent of the…troubles he had with his first boyfriend.

Not even Zhengxi.

But he knew enough to understand why Jian Yi was so immediately protective of Mo Guan Shan.

Zhengxi came to feel the same way almost immediately.

When Jian Yi was 17 years old he met a man that seemed to be pretty decent boyfriend material.

People like that often do.

He realized he was wrong quickly, swallowed his pride and told Zhengxi.

The next day he chose to bail his best friend out of jail and didn’t bother to visit the other man in the hospital.

Having had plenty of time alone with nothing to do but think, the first thing Zhengxi did when they stepped back into the sunshine was embrace Jian Yi.

The first thing he said was ‘I’m sorry.’

The second thing he did was hold Jian Yi’s face in his hands and kiss him until a police officer told them to clear out.

The second thing he said was ‘I love you.’

Things moved slowly between them.

Agonizingly slowly.

He Tian thought he was suffering on day four.
Oh, please.

It took the two of them a year.

It was an agreement they’d made.

Jian Yi was terrified that Zhengxi was doing this out of guilt, or just to make him happy.

Zhengxi couldn’t stand the thought of irrevocably destroying their friendship, or push him too far too fast.

It was all hand holding and relatively innocent kisses for the first little while.

That graduated to small displays of public affection and a bit more contact.

They’d both taken to masturbating before meeting up.

Four months passed at a snail’s pace.

They’d moved on to careful hand jobs.

Six months in they moved in together, staying in separate rooms.

Eight progressively painful months passed.

They got very, very, drunk and Jian Yi gave Zhengxi a sloppy blowjob.

Zhengxi lasted all of four seconds.

Ten months, Jian Yi convinced (begged) him to finger him.

By the time the slowest year the world had ever seen was over, they’d both reached a level of desperation akin to insanity.

12 months doesn’t sound too bad, right?

52 weeks?

365 days?

8,760 hours?

525,600 minutes?

31,536,000 seconds?!

It was torture.

They planned to make an evening if it.

Zhengxi had the day off work.

He made all of Jian Yi’s favorite foods, picked out some romantic music.

He’d even lit candles.

He made sure they had plenty of lube and condoms.

He even got everything together for a bubble bath after it was all over.

Jian Yi came home from work, kicked his boots off and closed himself in the bathroom.

Before Zhengxi could process this fully, Jian Yi was back, stark naked, drying his hair.

He dropped the towel and made a beeline for Zhengxi.

He grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the living room.

‘What are you-’

‘Take your clothes off.’ Jian Yi demanded.

Even when he tried to argue that the food would get cold he had already started undressing.

When he was done, Jian Yi shoved him onto the couch and straddled his lap and kissed him deeply.

Jian Yi kissed down his jaw, sucking gently at the side of his neck, gently running his tongue over the sharp collarbone.

‘Jian Yi, I…’ he gestured towards the rapidly cooling food on the table half heartedly.

‘I can see that. Thank you. But as of right now, I’ve waited years to feel you inside me and I refuse to wait a fucking second longer.

‘G-give me the lube, I’ll get you ready.’ Zhengxi whispered, holding his hand out for the small bottle in the other man’s hand.

Jian Yi shook his head.

‘Took care of it in the shower.’ He explained, popping the cap open to pour a liberal amount into his palm before reaching down and spreading it over Zhengxi’s, already painful, erection.

He wasted no time sitting up on his knees, lining them up, and sinking down on him one inch at a time.

The wet, hot, pressure that engulfed him was so overwhelming he thought he was going to black out.

He didn’t take his eyes off Jian Yi’s face for a second.

The pain he tried to hide was heartbreaking but he clearly had prepared himself.

Before Zhengxi could tell him to take it slow, he had taken it all in.

Zhengxi stroked his back as he took several deep breaths.

Very slowly, the muscles around him began to relax.

Jian Yi lifted himself up on shaking arms before sinking down again.

‘Jian Yi, oh my god.’ Zhengxi’s voice was rough and strained.

He did it three more times.

Zhengxi shook with the effort of not flipping them over and fucking him the way he imagined several times a day.

Stay still.

Let him get used to it.

‘Ok.’ Jian Yi whispered.

‘I’m ready.’

‘What…what should I do?’ Zhengxi asked lamely.

Thankfully, Jian Yi understood.

‘I want you on top.’

They carefully maneuvered themselves so Jian Yi was flat on his back, Zhengxi between his legs.

‘Are you ready?’

Jian Yi nodded, skin bright red from the roots of his hair to the head of his cock.

‘I’ve been waiting for a very, very, long time to say this.’ Jian Yi informed him quietly, pulling the other man down by the back of his neck.

‘Fuck me, Zhengxi.’

He did not need to be asked twice.
As gently as he could, he began to move
his hips.

Jian Yi wrapped a leg around his waist, tilting his hips up with a soft, contented, sigh.

After several whispered pleas, Jian Yi froze, catching his attention.

‘Zhengxi. Fuck. me. harder.’ He growled, sending shivers down Zhengxi’s spine.

When you think of someone, there’s always a few pictures that pop into your head.

Images of them burned into your memory.

Maybe they were laughing, or smiling, or doing something stupid.

There’s always a picture or two that stick.

Months before that memorable night, Zhengxi had been experimenting.

Using instructions from the internet, (where all the most reliable instructions come from) he’d found his prostate.

It had been an uncommonly difficult feat and he didn’t do it often because the angle killed his shoulder, but he when he did it was more than a noteworthy experience.

Trying to use his vague knowledge to find Jian Yi’s was awkward and likely confusing, but the look on Jian Yi’s face.

The utter shock as his back arched and fingernails dug into Zhengxi’s shoulders as he came…

That was rarely far from his mind.

Zhengxi didn’t last much longer.

They cleaned up.

The atmosphere in the room was different than it had ever been.

The tension had eased.

The elephant in the room had found someone new to frustrate.

They ate dinner, talked about their respective days, washed dishes together, and made their way back to the bedroom.

There was no uncertainty this time.

No doubts or fear that either one of them didn’t want it.

Zhengxi spoiled Jian Yi just as he’d always imagined.

He held him closely as he fingered him for god knows how long, teaching them both about Jian Yi and.

He swallowed his embarrassment, starting with tiny licks and kisses around that tight, twitching, ring of muscle, and ended with his Zhengxi fucking his boyfriend with his tongue until he begged for his cock.

They fell asleep in each other’s arms only when the sun began to rise, grateful they’d taken the next day off work.

here’s a horribly made Tag Urself meme Zach Woods edition

I’m sick with a head cold so I did this while sneezing and being horribly congested

this is hilarious to me and my medicine-riddled head but it’s probably so lame lmao

anonymous asked:

is there more to the ADHD Lance hc or just that? is it by any chance based on how he acts canonly or.. ?

Evidence for ADHD Lance:

  • I can Sense™ the ADHD because I have it myself. I look at him and I think “Boy… That boy has ADHD”
  • He’s waaaaaaay impulsive; my boy was doing loop-de-loops in the simulator, didn’t even hesitate to try and sneak out of a military base just to have some fun, literally approached a crashed spaceship and busted in just ‘cause he saw Keith was doing it, found a giant blue lion and went ‘fuckin SWEET.’ This literally all happened in the first like, ten minutes of the show.
    • Other examples of impulsiveness right off the top of my head: He heard Coran crying out for help and ran into a goddamn airlock without even thinking, the whole thing with Nyma lmao, Lance’s pretty reckless style of flying. 
    • As a whole Lance is mostly ‘act first, party later’ which could be an example of the ‘Irresponsible Teenage Boy’ trope but c’mon… C’mon.
  • In that one scene where everyone is crowded around Sendak waiting for the memories to download or whatever, Lance is the one constantly moving. At one point he even gets on the floor and starts cycling his legs in the air. 
    • And this isn’t just an example of ‘Oh, Lance gets bored, so what’- Lance was literally the last person to leave Shiro, he could have ditched like everyone else but because he wanted to stay he forced his body into moving so he would stay focused. I do this all the time lmao.
  • Lance talks a lot with his hands and also uses lots of gestures, I do this too a lot because I instinctively keep my hands busy at all times lmao. I’m pretty sure if you put anything within Lance’s grasp in a few minutes he’ll start fiddling with it.
  • Lance never fucking shuts up, something which my ADHD ass finds #RELATABLE. He’s constantly interjecting, even when it’s just a really lame one-liner, which to me is evidence that he just says whatever’s off the top of his head.
  • I find driving a car to be one of the hardest things in the world (there’s so much shit going on, constantly) so can you imagine flying a giant blue lion in SPACE? No wonder Lance always seems to crash into things, there’s like a hundred distractions at any given moment. Plus, he’s also always running his mouth.
  • There are moments in the show where I’m like “Oh my god, Lance is totally hyperfocusing right now.” It’s usually while the team is forming Voltron. I also imagine that’s why Lance is so good with his gun- while you stare down the scope there’s only one target, and if you hyperfocus on that… Goddamn.
  • The fact that Lance sleeps with an eye mask AND with music. Sleeping with ADHD is so goddamn hard, I hate it. I get the best sleep of my life when I use an eyemask and listen to music, I need to start doing this again.
  • Lance has a lot of mood swings, he goes from overexcited to pissed off to flirty in like two seconds. He also can be overly aggressive and shows a lack of restraint sometimes. Evidence: His rivalry with Keith and the fact that they literally flew their Lions straight down into the ground like. I want to make fun of Lance for that, but I would literally end up doing the same thing lmao. 
  • Lance also seems to get along really well with his Lion. The way Lions communicate with their Paladins seems to be through wordless suggestions/impulses. ADHD Lance would be used to going along with whatever the strongest idea in his head is, so while everyone is struggling with having another presence in their mind Lance is like ’LOL this feels normal’ and forms a super tight bond with Blue.
  • Lance has ADHD, bye.

danisnotawuss  asked:

or even better: it's 2009 and Phil makes a super lame joke and dan says 'oh my god, you're such a nerd, I love you.' And then he turns bright red and covers his face with his hands and Phil laughs and bumps him lightly and is all jokey like 'so you love me, do ya? hey dan. hey dan. do you love anyone? me, perhaps?' and dans still so embarrassed and tells Phil to fuck off while almost laughing and Phil pulls dans hands away from his face and says 'I love you, dan' and kisses him and dan dies

i’m crying

the way they spoke to each other in 2009,,, that dialogue just fits so well,,,, i’m a mess,,,

anonymous asked:

OH MY GOD gorgeous aquarium date, this is not a drill , gloriously beautiful aquarium date! (,^°^),

everything about the last few days has felt so surreal honestly i cant believe how happily they’re sharing these moments with us, showing everyone (hardcore audience, more casual audience, friends, and peers alike) that they’re off in this beautiful country alone together, just the two of them, doing all of these things that they love and taking photos of each other and making their lame jokes and generally finding each other beautiful and making sure we know it. it’s been gorgeous and truly overwhelming to watch it unfold <3 

HONESTLY when gukdoo was yelling @ bongsoon I fucking lost it like I was in a state of anger n confusion because he is so dumb ???????? n non-reliable all the time anytime ?????? when he’s fuming over the fact that she went home to visit her grandma n was like ‘OH MY GOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO U KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME TO LET U STAY @ THAT GUYS HOUSE’ like u know what gukdoo, who the FUCK are you to bongsoon ??????? ur not her boyfriend, ur not her brother like u don’t even know her n its like bro u need to stay in ur lane with your fucking lame ass cello playing girlfriend who doesn’t even like u. he’s literally like ‘its SO hard for me to keep on worrying about u’ like how about you do your damn dirty police work n find the kidnapper so u never have to care about her ever again like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE GUKDOO !!!! WHY DIDN’T BONGSOON SHOVE  HIM HARDER LIKE TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD !!!!!!