these are shit but ; ;

The Contest

Two of my players have an innofficial contest whose character sleeps with more girls.
One of them is a scraggy old man (Tiefling with -Cha) and the other the daughter of Shelyn (Goddess of Love and Beauty)

On one of the days off he flirtet with a rather cute girl that attended an opera with him (while the demi goddess played one of the lead roles)

After the whole thing they made a little after-show party

The old man announced that he would flirt with the girl the remainder of the evening.
The demigoddess followed with “I flirt with her too”
Old mens answer (sounding slightly whiny and frustrated):“I think thats uncool of you”

After we calmed down from the laughter we rolled diplomacy checks to see who is the better flirt. 
(We roll again if someone crits and add up the new dice)
The outcome was even worse then expected:

while the old man scored a solid 2 the daughter of Shelyn rolled up 58 and devastated the poor old men.

The players was frustrated: “In that case I drink till I wake up in the gutter the next morning!”
Since we all felt kind of sorry for him I made an offer: “I am sure some kind sould will bring you to your bed…”
“NO! I wake up in the gutter!”

anonymous asked:

it says on genji's blackwatch skin description that overwatch's cyberneticists are who upgraded genji. not mercy.

[regarding this post]

Thank you for the info.

For sure there was a team dedicated to taking care of Genji. I am sorry if this sounds like an excuse but considering Mercy was his attending doctor and Genji was unstable and hysterical, it makes sense to me that she was the one to check him up and get some brief feedback from him. Also Mercy’s tech kept Genji alive and helped him heal faster and better during the cybernization process so she was essential to his days in OW. I thought about adding a crew working in the background but it would affect how the whole thing goes so I presented the story as it is now.

Here have a cruel and shitty joke.

So our Pathfinder game had been going for several months, and our party is getting rather successful. We are granted noble titles, and invited to hobnob with the elite of society. This involves being invited to a ball.

My female barbarian, Zjaelemn (Pronounced Jay-leen), is not really on board with this. She shows up at the ball, however, but insists on wearing her furry pants.

Upon arriving the following exchange occurs:

Shocked socialite: “You can’t wear furry pants here!”

Zjaelemn: OK!

*SHHHHRRRIPP!* (proceeds to rip her own pants off)

Refreshing Drink

I DM a group of new Dungeons and Dragons players in a home brewed Pathfinder game. The gnome cleric and rat folk swashbuckler were exploring a cave and found a shrine with a fountain dedicated to Bahamut . The rat folk decided to piss in it

Ratfolk: I pissed in the fountain and it turned back into water

Gnome: what was it before? piss?

Ratfolk: No, but should I drink it?

Gnome: Drink your piss?!?!

anonymous asked:

smOL are you holding put on us??? More tododeku fic recs pls? Similar to your demolition lovers and the countless fics of pitviperofdoom where the stories are so good and soft, full of feeling and simultaneously destroys my soul or Ny fic recs pls my crops are dying

good and soft, full of feeling and simultaneously destroys the soul 

my dude. i gotCHU.

  • you called it home is a v recent tddk fic with pining shouto, and, in the author’s words, 2k words of todoroki waxing poetry about izuku as a person. there are SLIGHT spoilers for the upcoming arc in bnha season 2, so tread carefully
  • moving through cedarsmoke is pretty close to canon plot-wise, with a few exceptions; it has trans izuku and dis-associative shouto
  • Sunshine, Trapped in Our Hearts is actually the sequel of Guiding Light, which i recommended last time
  • Forehead Kisses is actually one of the first tddk fics posted on ao3. it’s soft and cute.
  • Crispiness of a Fucking Nerd is a classic lmao. it’s got established tddk and dumb boys tryna figure out how to kiss. the same author made Starting Line, which has cONFESSIONS need i say more.
  • Untitled Mornings is a tiny ficlet of izuku waking up next to his cutie of a bf
  • it could be worse should be something you’ve already read before what r u. it’s got presents and confessions and all that good shit. the same author made pax, a v long future fic which has murderrrrr
  • Burning Water do you like sad shouto who becomes a happy shouto?? i do too. 
  • Glimpses is about shouto hoping for a future with izuku
  • all this love is where shouto has an existential crisis because he’s caught Da Feels
  • i always expect for everyone to have read Hitsuzen but. if you haven’t. you better. inko plays a pretty big(?) part in it
  • all the choirs in my head; the fic where shouto likes to get choked (lmao this is the first explicit fic i’ve rec’d)
  • two sided feeling takes place after the sports festival, so i highly recommend this for new tddk shippers!! it’s got pining and so much kissing oml
  • sunburn is where shouto has conversations with his mother and she basically convinces him to confess to izuku; HOWEVER, there are spoilers for future events in the manga so do not read if you haven’t caught up to ch88.

i think that’s enough for now. I HOPE YOU ENJOY READING!!