these are pointless but yknow

no offense but id honestly rather have well-meaning cishet allies around (who understand their limitations and positions as allies), than a bunch of cishet aces who think theyre Oppressed and are gonna act like lgbt ppl being affectionate to their partners is disgusting and makes lgbt spaces ~unsafe~ for them

You know. I’m doin okay.

And I think I gotta say this ‘cause I post all the time about not being okay and I think y'all deserve better so. I’m doin okay. The worst part of today was my brother was a little late in giving me the car to use so I ended up a little late to work, and there was some big anxiety about my boss bc she doesn’t like when I’m late, and it’s not my fault but that doesn’t really matter when it comes to work and doing your job. And my back is killing me, the back of my neck is tight, and I’m a little worried about money, and there’s a lot to stress about.

But it’s so quiet. Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen and it was awesome. Mom has this new speaker that’s so loud you can feel the bass through the floorboards. I blasted Fall Out Boy at the loudest volume I could take, and I danced and water got everywhere ‘cause I was doing the dishes. And there’s no one here. I ate so much! I’m losing weight. My cat is ridiculous and still loves me even though I only see her a handful of times every few weeks. I’m very slowly re-learning piano. I discovered I have a little over a four octave range (which is nuts, I thought it was MAYBE three, TOPS). Mom’s house is never hot bc she has air conditioning. She told me I could have anything I wanted to eat. I don’t have to be on edge. I’m not scared. It’s so quiet. Mom’s shower is amazing (don’t tell her I used it). The acoustics on the balcony are gorgeous. I can feel myself healing, I think.

I know when things are okay and nothing is wrong my brain will find reasons things are wrong, and there’s lots to stress about now anyway. But I’m okay, for now, and my birthday is soon and I think I’m excited for it, and I have a little over a month to learn guitar and how not to sing under the note all the time, and tomorrow this may crash and burn and I’ll delete this post, embarrassed I stepped out of place again, but today I daydreamed about what I would do if I was unfathomably rich (it involved redistributing as much of my wealth back into the economy as possible and then disappearing off the face of the earth, road tripping and then backpacking with my friend and finding places we could stargaze and get lost in ourselves), and I wrote two songs while cleaning the bathroom at work, and I know I can go to bed now because I WANT to and not because I have to, and everything, for right now, is okay.

i would love a royalty plot where our muses (who are the king(s)/queen(s) to be) have an arranged marriage and it’s pretty rough at first – they always bicker and argue over pointless things and they almost never get down and dirty ( if yknow what i mean ) and then they’re finally like “okay, we’re going to have to do this because filing a divorce would make the kingdom look awful.” so they start to work on their relationship and whoa .. this is going pretty well .. and oh my god, you’re pregnant?

they can either: work things out and eventually live a happy life, raising their little bundle of joy OR having to work things out just made things worse and the only real reason they have the least bit of wanting to be together is because of their child.