these are on facebook already lays down

Perfect Little Family

Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 1,590

Warnings: Eeeeehhhhhhh major angst warning!!!! I don’t want to give away anything so this is kind of hard…..language, giving birth, yeah….

A/N: Woke up around midnight with this stuck in my head so I grabbed my laptop and started writing away like a maniac till I finished it. I love this so much lol I’m such an asshole. No hate towards Danneel, y’all know this by now with me but I still feel the need to say it lol  

Originally posted by stylinswallows

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AN: So, here’s a random oneshot I wrote back in August, post 7x06 and never actually finished until a week ago… Yeah, I’m a mess.

Well anyway, better late than never ;)

This was a really bad author’s note, I’m so sorry.

It started out harmless. Absolutely harmless. She didn’t want to be home, in the house she’d left at eighteen, only to be forced to return to a matter of weeks ago. Or rather, she didn’t want to be in the barn. She was haunted by the memories built there, memories that were now proof of failure, memories with someone who’d never love her.

She hated love. Or rather, love hated her. The only love she’d ever known was painful and stabbing and brutally exposing.

She’d fallen in love and she’d been rejected, time and time again. He didn’t love her. He would never love her. He couldn’t find it in himself.

His heart would always belong to her best friend.

She told herself that was okay. That she knew that going in. She knew that Caleb would always love Hanna. She knew the blonde would always love Caleb.

She just didn’t know it would hurt this much. To love and be unloved in return.

Granted, her only other experience with love was the polar opposite. Love was just about the only thing that held them together, through the ruthless tribulations that defined their lives.

Through the disapproving parents, depraved step-sister, anonymous threat trying to kill them both at every turn, the corrupt police beat, the drug addiction, the mental hospital stays and -A team stints.

The love Spencer had shared with Toby had survived it all.

But it couldn’t survive one pregnancy scare.

After it was over, after the relationship that had been a constant in her life for four years straight evaporated in a matter of minutes, she’d skipped classes for the next two days. Her roommate thought she needed a psych evaluation. No way was Spencer Hastings missing classes, for any reason under the sun.

But her red-rimmed, puffy eyes were enough to halt too many evasive questions. No one wanted to mess with a heartbroken girl.

She’d cried herself to sleep for three weeks. She’d felt like her heart was missing from her chest. Like it had been torn out, like Toby had taken it when he walked out the door.

He’d told her he’d always be there for her, no matter what. That she could always reach out if she needed anything.

They both knew it was nothing more than a formality. He could say it in her ear for days, she’d still never call. She was Spencer Hastings. Even with a gun to her head, she didn’t ask anyone for help.

She’d thrown herself into her studies after that. Every second of every day was consumed by books and notes and lectures and projects and study groups.

She never gave herself a free second, because if she did, if she stopped moving, stopped thinking, stopped working, she’d break. She’d break and she didn’t know if there was any glue strong enough in this world to put her back together again.

But that could only last for so long. She could only keep herself busy, preoccupy her mind, for so long, until the truth became an inevitable force staring her dead in the face.

She was alone. She was completely and entirely alone, much like right now.

Only now the pain was worse. She had two heartbreaks instead of one and getting through the next moment was sometimes so easy, so effortless, it was as if she’d never met either one of them.

But some moments it was violent and searing and suffocating and that was how she ended up here.

Hanna had asked if she was okay. She’d said she absolutely would be. And she will.

Because even fresh from losing Caleb, she didn’t feel half as bad as she did a year out from losing Toby.

That was what Spain was really about. She went to Spain to get away, get her mind off the blue-eyed boy she’d loved with all her heavy heart.

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