these are basically the only ones that turned out half decent

colossus-steppes  asked:

What was bad about Yooka-Laylee? I haven't played it myself, but from what I heard pre-release it seemed good. Did it turn out bad then?

yooka-laylee was a fucking ride

the game had this weird behind the scenes development first of all


the year was 2012, banjo nostalgia was at its peak, and had been for a couple years now. largely due to jontron

rare was a fucking mess, and still is, so there wasnt any hope for a new rare game that isnt some shovelware kinect bullshit (thanks microsoft)

just about everyone from the golden days of rare is is at different places. some at retro, some still at rare, some at gory detail, some just at random places. its a mess

but somehow, a few ex-rare devs got together, noticed how big banjo had gotten in recent years and decided to make a spiritual successor

iirc, jontron was actually a large reason why the game began development in the first place. he revived a lot of love for the bear and bird. he brought back a lot of love for rare in general actually.

i wanted to avoid bringing up jon, i really did, but that would be like not bringing up banjo. jon is too integral to the development of yooka, and banjo is the game yooka is ripping off

they were in regular contact with jon from what i remember. jon brought up the rare spiritual successor before anyone even knew it was a thing, before even the mingy jongo twitter was found. and of course grant kirkhope was on game grumps, and jon was offered a role on the game

the mingy jongo twitter is where things get odd. sometime in 2012, a twitter was found. it was all cryptic and shit, and named after a forgettable enemy from banjo-tooie. it was hyping up something, but no one knew what

it stopped updating for like a year, made a tweet about crashing, and was confirmed to be cancelled.

and then even later, mingy jongo made a tweet about rebooting, and changed the name to playtonic. the dumb arg bullshit was over, and we got a look at what the games visual style would be like

the kickstarter launched, it was super successful and spawned many imitators, but none nearly as successful as yooka

a hat in time was not one of those imitators, it was in development long before yooka

the game had promise to it. the game looked like a real return to the golden age of 3d platformers it looked fun, it looked like it had interesting and seemingly focused level design, it knew its roots and embraced it, but it still had its own identity, it had a team of industry veterans, now off their leash so they’re free to make a game how they want to make it. 

there was no doubt in our minds, this was going to be great. 

it was a really shitty time for 3d platformers. games were either AAA or indie. AAA were too focused on big action movie set-piece games aimed at people in their mid-20s, and indies didnt have the budget or experience to do 3d. so the genre was almost dead aside from the odd ratchet, sonic or mario game. but it wasnt enough, the genre was slowly dying. yooka needed to happen

we got some more gameplay, and it seemed good, but not great. it had its flaws but it was still early in development, things can only get better, right?

yooka-laylee was then revealed to be using the unity engine. a notably awful engine with an ungodly amount of problems that is only used by people because its cheap, so they can make meme games with it like whos your daddy or some donald trump game. but those are games that embrace the problems of unity

then we got the toybox demo.

we got to test out the controls around a very plain environment. it was essentially a playtest area. the controls were very off, and there was little tech. but the controls werent that bad.as long as they dont make the controls worse in any way, and the game has some tight level design, this can still be a great game.

also there was a little secret for getting everything in the demo and going somewhere specific, a secret that tells you to go somewhere and look for something in the final game. i’ll get back to that.

playtonic soon found a publisher for yooka-laylee to help with yooka. team17 of worms fame

the wii version of yooka-laylee was cancelled and playtonic said there wont be a switch version

we got some more proper gameplay of yooka showing off the capital cashino level

and my god

it

was

bad

really really really

bad

but it was just one level, it doesnt represent the whole game does it?

either way, some people were getting skeptical of the game by this point.


and then, the catalyst


community manager of team17, playtonics publisher was going on neogaf one day and saw the general consensus of jontron there was rather negative there. well jonno wasnt having any of that and demanded playtonic to remove jontron from the game

jonno zuckerberg’d jontron

and out of such a minor voice role too

what followed was a shitshow

because jon was such a major part to yooka’s history, naturally some people thought removing jon was an extremely backstabby move to make.

to many, this was the straw that broke the camels back. there were many red flags before, but this was a big one.

there were 3000 known refunds that followed. 

and thats just the refunds that went through, because playtonic or team17, most likely team17, actually denied most of the refunds, banned people asking how to refund it on steam, and called anyone refunding the game racist

playtonic also blocked a dude that offered a reasonable solution to the jontron solution on twitter

they were not handling this with grace

jon just kind of accepted that he wouldnt be in the game, if you’re wondering how he was taking his removal

around this time, i was thankful that i didnt kickstart it


so the game finally comes out and the reviews are divided. some people call it a masterpiece and everything bad about the game is supposed to be bad because n64 games didnt age well so this should play like an n64 game that didnt age well and they got everything promised to them

others called the game a rushed sloppy poorly designed mess with an insane amount of problems that cannot be overlooked

after the dust settled, the game has pretty much settled on a lukewarm 6/10 or 7/10 from most sites.

so how was the game really

horrible.

for a game made by developers with decades of experience under their belts, they learned nothing from any of the games they made, or others have made. every flaw that banjo had is not only in yooka, but a thousand times worse

everything we knew about the game pre-release was also worse

the tight level design? non-existent

the decent controls? ruined

the unique identity? gone

nothing of value remained. yooka-laylee is a husk of what was meant to be

the controls were made slipperier, and a stamina meter was added, so you cant go slightly fast for more than a couple seconds, and due to the massive empty levels, going fast is required if you dont want to go insane

the level design does not exist. things are just placed in areas without thought. the focus was on making the levels super big and placing the collectables in really obscure places. not even just the jiggy equivalents, but also the note-equivalents

but the bad controls and bad level design apparently werent enough. levels we had gimmicks that just complimented the absolute worst of the levels and controls. slippery dank caves full of pits, slippery ice levels

the world is barren and empty. there is nothing to do in it

the bosses are, well…
they’re walls. every last one of them is a wall that you fight. honest to god walls.

the camera is an abomination. i dont think i need to say anything that hasnt been said a thousand times already, its one of the worst things about the game, and that is a fucking low bar

the audio mixing is horrible, the chopper transformation grates on the ears, the grunting is far too loud and goes on for much longer than the grunting in banjo, making it extremely obnoxious and annoying

the game had a fucking quiz section that expects you to know every weird minor detail about the game, like really weird and obscure details no one playing the game casually would know, you would have to be obsessed with the game from the moment it was announced and pay close attention to everything no matter how minor to know any of the quiz’s answers. you need to answer 10 questions correctly in a row or else you’re sent to the beginning. and they throw this at you in the first world. i think they do it every world, actually but i could be wrong. they somehow took an interesting but a bit obnoxious part from banjo tooie and i think kazooie as well, and turned it into one of the biggest sins in any game i have ever seen

the loading times, while not bad, are INSANELY frequent, it breaks the flow of the game far too often

there were tons of glitches

enemies were sponges

the fucking mine cart sections were unbearable

frequent framerate issues (thanks unity)

all the minigames were complete trash

the fridge character is one of the worst things i have ever seen

there were seemingly nonsensical puzzles that dont give you any indication if you’re missing something required to beat it

the game stops introducing characters early on, and just recycles all the previous characters


so thats the bad of yooka, heres the good


the visuals look nice half the time, although the other half is unity fucking up the lighting because its a shit engine

the music is sometimes good

some of the character designs are nice


and thats about all i can really compliment the game on honestly

it’s a mess and one of the biggest disappointments i have ever played. it wasnt even worth pirating


you wanna know what jontrons role would have even been? making farting sounds for a toilet character. they shot themselves in the foot over a youtuber voicing a toilet


oh and do you remember that little secret from the toybox i mentioned

well if you go to where you were told, you’ll find a little scene with a robot

it’ll basically say something is 50% complete

and thats it

no secret alternate costume, no unlockable power, no item that lets you find collectables, no nothing. just some dumb secret teasing a potential sequel

that was somehow the most infuriating part about the game, and perfectly sums up yooka-laylee


its a bad fucking game


sorry for any spelling mistakes, but its 3am and this is a massive wall of text

Neighbour AU

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes, and Laurent’s neighbours having a loud argument every weekend. Laurent does not pay an exorbitant amount of rent just so that he can be woken up at three in the morning every Saturday because Jokaste is angry at Damen again. It’s bad enough that he knows their names without having ever introduced himself.

And of course, the fights are always followed by even louder make-up sex, as if he needs a weekly reminder that he himself isn’t getting any.

Tonight, it seems, Damen has been locked out of his apartment.

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anonymous asked:

dark rc would you please consider writing about how victor (and the rest of the Russian skate team) had a feud with the Russian hockey team bc of their constant flirting and attentions towards yuuri (who was completely oblivious at the war waging for his heart)??

This has been sitting in my inbox for over a month and I apologize for that, nonny! I wanted to try my hand at breaking through this writer’s block and this prompt was ripe for the taking. It’s not my best work by any stretch, but it’s something at least! I hope you enjoy.

+

There are few things that give Yuri pleasure—the taste of accomplishment like cinnamon sugar on the back of his tongue after landing a quad; having a comeback so cutting that he practically draws blood; that soft murrf a cat makes when it decides it trusts him; the little green screenshot arrow appearing next to Otabek’s name in Snapchat—but they all pale in comparison to whenever the Russian hockey team visits the rink.

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Star Light, Star Bright

Originally posted by daenso

Star Light, Star Bright
Ship: Shooting Star/ Guardian Angel!Jimin | Reader
Description: When you wish upon a star, you never really think he’d come to visit.
Warnings: Fluff, Intercourse, Fingering, Slight Cum Play, Slight Dirty Talk, ANGST
Word Count: 7,595
A/N: Fluffier (sorta) than my other writings, and maybe not as dirty. It’s still there though. I was starting to think I’d never get around to writing this but I’m so glad I finally finished!

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So imagine if Neil had a sibling he didn’t know existed. Just hear me out okay.

((this post seriously got away from me but I am definitely 100% not sorry))

He’s kidnapped and dragged to his dads house and they’re standing there ready to hack him piece from piece and Nathan calls for his guard upstairs and down comes this 10 year old with Lola’s hair and Nathan’s eyes and a set of bruises on her face and Neil just FREEZES.

(It could be a brother but I’m sticking with sister- you’ll see why)

And Neil doesn’t know WHY Nathan is bringing this kid - that looks like him- downstairs to watch a gruesome murder but she looks completely unsettled when she sees Neil and his half destroyed face. And she looks like she wants to step forward but the guard holds her back.

Nathan is rambling about her watching because she needs to know what would happen if she crosses him and Neil is so angry he can’t listen. He just keeps staring at her hoping that his expression is doing anything to tell her it’s okay, it’s okay, don’t be afraid, it’s okay. She starts crying as soon as Nathan is telling Neil what Lola is going to do to him.

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The Cabin By the Lake: Chapter 1

Summary: Cassian has been keeping a secret- for the past 300 years he has been building cabins around a lake to house the Inner Circle and any family they might have. Five years after the end of ACOWAR, the cabins are finished and the Inner Circle descends for two weeks in paradise.

**Contains minor NSFW content, not enough to warrant a tag, nothing explicit, but just a little bit.

Originally posted by pinkfloydvinyl

*****This fic is marking 5,000 followers!! I want to thank each and every one of you for following me, but especially you (yes, YOU!!! Don’t tell the others). This page is less than a year old, and I’ve been absolutely blown away by warmth and kindness of this fandom. I can’t wait to see what the next year brings as Maas expands all the verses we know and love!!!!

Tagging: @aelin-and-feyre, @my-life-is-a-drama-book, @queen-archeron || @mywritingbox, @illyrianinterrasen, @managingmischief007, @ladycassian, @photofeesh, @lets-continue, @ofstarsanddreams, @queenoffantasy, @takenbymyfandoms, @hellosparkyislove, @sensingdejavu, @sierrareads, @sheshibori, @whydoyoucareaboutmyusername, @haileanneposts, @wolffrising, @tothemoonandback-97, @rebelangel36, @dreamilyzealousbird, @poisonbooknerd, @gently-say-aha, @urbisie, @thenameisjaida-blog, @kaliejane26, @crazybookladythings, @cmhmama, @highladyoferilea, @highladyofluna, @artmatekarma, @deezrmuhsheeple, @evulette, @dreamingofazriel, @a-trifling-matter, @court-0f-dreamers, @to-read-is-to-breathe, @221b-impala-fezzz, @little-eidolon, @illyrian-empress, @theheiraelin, @chocolateserialkiller, @averageweirdgirl, @celaena-sardothiien, @thisxisxali, @songbirdsbooks, @seriouslyobsessedfangirl, @booklover242​, @empress-ofbloodshed

Specially Dedicated To: @little-eidolon, @court-0f-dreamers, and @221b-impala-fezzz, who requested content or scenarios that appear in this chapter.

For more of my fics, check out @rhysand-vs-rowan-vs-fanfic!!!!

**If you are on mobile, you may not be able to see the “Keep Reading” tab. Simply scroll to the top of this post and click my URL to see the full text.

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Cabin// pt.1

genre: smut (in later parts its full on smut, but in this part it’s just kind of like teasing and watching), fluff, friend!au (kind of?), Masturbastion baekhyun.

warning: graphic smut,masturbation,  PLEASE USE CONDOMS IN REAL LIFE THIS IS JUST A FANFIC PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRACTICE SAFE SEX

length: idk man, pretty long.

Authors note: Hey so like, I’ve been thinking about this for the past two weeks and I just needed to write it out so… enjoy!

pt: 1

                                                           ___

You looked at him through your window. He was sitting on his bed that was up against his window scrolling through something on his computer. He was your next door neighbor and his room was parallel to yours, so even if you didn’t want to see him, you still could. His name is Baekhyun, and he’s a fucking pain in your ass.

You and Baekhyun met when you were in the 7th grade. His family moved into the house right next to yours and you both were the same age so your parents found it fit to introduce you too. Immediately you realized he didn’t like you, he would tease you or just flat out ignore you for no reason and continued his actions throughout the years of school. Even though he was mean to you, you couldn’t retaliate, it just wasn’t in you. There was something about him, the difference between the Baekhyun you know and the boy you watch through your window.

                                                            ___

Chemistry was probably your least favorite class, for reasons 1. you sat next to Baekhyun and felt like you were always on egg shells, and 2. you just weren’t as interested in Chemistry as the rest of your classes.

“Hey, can you keep for fucking window shut you kept me up all night with your music.” you turned your head to see Baekhyun sitting in his desk right next to yours. “Sorry I was up writing an essay, I didn’t know you could hear it.” You said while looking down at your notes trying to frantically write them down as the teacher was going about lightning speed. “Just close your window tonight so I can actually get some fucking sleep.” he spat back to you while packing up to go our next period.

As you were walking out the door to try to make it to your locker he bluntly stood infront of you blocking your path. “We have the trip up to the cabin in two days.” he said while staring down at you. “Yeah I know.” you said, looking down at the floor to try to avoid eye contact. “This year since my brother and his girlfriend are coming, we have to share a room.” You quickly look up at his words “Don’t look so surprised, just bring your own blanket, I’m not sharing mine with you.” with that he turned on his heel and walked in the other direction.

Your families got really close after they moved in next door, even sharing holidays like Christmas and thanksgiving with each other. Every year around the middle of Autumn our families take a trip up to Baekhyun’s family’s cabin in the mountains. You and Baekhyun never had to share a room because you always slept in a room with your sister and he with his brother, but since both our siblings left for college last summer your sister wouldn’t be attending this year. So now, you’re stuck sharing the same room and the same bed with Baekhyun.

                                                               ___

“It gets more and more beautiful every year.” You hear your mom say behind you as you enter the cabin. It is beautiful. The cabin is built with dark stained wood and is flourished with many large windows giving sight to the lake and many trees surrounding it. Its spacious, with 3 decent size bedrooms and a master bedroom in the loft where Baekhyun’s parents sleep.

You make your way to you and Baekhyun’s shared bedroom, setting your things on the bed. “Please try to keep your shit clean.” you hear a voice pipe up from behind you, making you jump. You turn to see Baekhyun in the doorway, his stuff in hand. You take a good look at him.

Mean to you or not, Baekhyun is undeniably beautiful. He has dark brown hair that is messy, but in the best way possible. His eyes are hooded and so dark they’re almost black. He has pink lips that are thin but also somehow plump at the same time. His skin is always a light tan during this time of year making him look like a god that stands before you. He moves from the door frame to his side of the bed, walking with such grace, it takes you everything you have to stop staring at him before he notices. You see him look up at you from the corner of your eye while unpacking. “Did you bring your own blanket?” he says to you and you nod. “Good.” and with that he leaves the room.

                                                               ___

It’s your second night. Last night thing went… how you expected it to. Baekhyun slept as close to the edge as he possibly could and took deep dramatic deep sighs everytime you even attempted to move to get comfortable. Nonetheless sleep wasn’t a thing you really did last night.

You spent most of today reading and on your computer, catching up on the latest shows Netflix had to offer.

“Okay you two, we’ll be back tomorrow morning. Behave yourselves.” Baekhyun’s mom said with her overnight bag in hand. Our parents, and now Baekhyun’s brother being old enough, always go to the ski lodge just about a 30 miles away from the cabin for one night and day during the trip to “have some adult relaxing time”, meaning to freely drink away and eat mediocre sea food for a whole night and day. “Y/n, the keys to the car are on the hook. Don’t go anywhere unless it’s an emergency, understand?” Your Dad told you, putting extra emphasis on anywhere. “Got it. We’ll see you tomorrow night.” You said standing from your seat to give everyone a quick hug goodbye. And they left. Leaving you alone for a whole night, and a whole day with Baekhyun. What are you going to do for that whole time?

You decided since it was late anyway, that going to sleep would be your best option on trying to get through the night. As you entered the room you saw that Baekhyun had the same idea. So you just crawled into bed, willingly letting sleep wash over you.

You woke up about 45 minutes later by your blanket being pulled. You turn over to see Baekhyun as the culprit. “What are you doing?” You ask in a half whisper. Baekhyun responded by scooting closer to you, kind of taking you by surprise. “It’s freezing I can barely feel my toes.” his teeth were chattering as he spoke. As you woke up more you realized you were also freezing. “Okay.” was all you said and you scooted an inch closer to him. You gasped when he wrapped his arm around you and pulled you to his chest. “Sorry, it’s fucking freezing.” he said again. He evenly spread both blankets over the two of you and made sure to wrap his legs around yours. You were frozen, you didn’t know what to do except for to lay there. Minutes passed, and when you saw that he had  finally fallen asleep you relaxed a bit. He was wearing a black t-shirt and some grey sweats, and somehow managed to still look good. His hair was tossed and lips parted as he slept. He had both hands wrapped around your waist joining together at your back while your hands were placed on his chest. He smelled of a husky lavender and his chest felt so prominent under your touch, you laid there feeling how his chest rose and fell. You had never even given him a hug let alone been this close to him before. “You can stop staring at me now and go to sleep.” You heard him saying in a deep sleeping voice. You tensed. How the hell did he know you were staring at him? You didn’t know what to say, “Goodnight.” was all you could manage to get out before trying your best to let sleep take over you once again.

                                                           ___

You woke up to Baekhyun basically suffocating you. His legs locked around yours and his arms constricted around your shoulders and waist. You tried to move but he only shifted a little and squeezed you tighter. “Baekhyun. Baekhyun.” you whispered while tapping his chest a few times. He took a deep breath, finally waking up. “Baekhyun, you’re suffocating me”, he opened his eyes fully and looked down at you. He must’ve found it amusing because he loosened his grip and then let go with a little giggle, “sorry. you’re comfortable.” he spoke in a raspy morning voice, still smiling. Finally able to breath you giggled along, “don’t know if I can say the same about you.” He laughed as he stretched his limbs. “What do you want for breakfast?” You asked turning to him.’Holy shit’. Was honestly all you could think as he sat up. The morning light hit him perfectly; his tan skin glowing and arms flexing as he stretched a second time. All you could do was hold your breath and force yourself to rip your eyes away from him. “There’s pancake mix in the pantry, do you want me to make them?” he said as he turned to you with a light smile. It finally occurred to you that he was being nice for once, actually the first time you’ve ever seen him be nice to you. You nod and he gets up, heading to the kitchen. Everything just seemed… brighter.

You take a quick shower before joining Baekhyun in the kitchen. When you entered he was sitting at the small circle table in front of the large window displaying the beautiful redwood trees eating a stack of pancakes. When he looked up at you his eyes traveled up and down your figure, you were wearing a light grey tank top with a pair of pajama pants sitting at your hips. As you saw his actions you felt your face heat up and immediately regretted your choice of clothes. There was another plate of pancakes and a glass of orange juice sitting in front of the seat across from him, assuming they’re for you, you walk over and sit down in the small wooden dining chair. “Okay wait. Everyone that has ever ate my pancakes says they’re the best damn pancakes on the planet. So you have to tell me what you think, okay?” His eyes were piercing you with pure anticipation as you took a bite. And then another. And then another. “So?” He looked so nervous for your answer, it was actually quite adorable.  You sighed, “I didn’t want to admit it… but these are the best damn pancakes on the planet.” to say he was smiling ear to ear at your words was an understatement. You took another bite, they really were the best pancakes you had ever eaten. “What do you want to do today?” his words shocked you; sure he had been nice all morning, but you really didn’t expect for it to last throughout the day. “Uhmm, I don’t know. We could go swimming?” You said, taking a swig of orange juice. “Yeah, let me go take a shower. I’ll be like 10 minutes.” he stood from the table bringing his dishes to the sink “don’t worry about that, go shower.” you exclaimed while in mid bite. He gave you a small thanks before heading to the bathroom.

As you were finishing washing the dishes, you couldn’t help but think about how everything felt so flipped. Baekhyun was never nice to you, in fact he had never been nice to you once since the day you met him. Why today? You kept thinking about it as you made your way back to the bedroom. Suddenly the bathroom door in the hall just right to you opens, a wet Baekhyun stands in the frame of the door. His hair was wet and hanging over his right eye and you really couldn’t help but let your eyes wander over the rest of his figure. His towel hung loosely from his hips, he had a six pack like none other. His body was made of pure lean muscle with water droplets traveling down it. When you looked back up to meet his gaze, his lips were curled into a smirk. You hurriedly walked, or practically ran, back to your room. Oh god. OH GOD. The last time you saw Baekhyun shirtless was your last trip to the cabin and he did not have that body, not at all. You could barely breath, not only because his body was heavenly, but because he caught you staring at it. For your own sanity you decided to get ready to go swimming instead of thinking about Baekhyun’s body.

When you finally put on your black bathing suit you put on some jean shorts with a simple white t-shirt over and headed to the living room. Baekhyun was standing there, still with only his towel on, “I’ve been waiting for you so I can put on my trunks. Hold on, I’ll only be a minute.” he said to you while you were basically eyeing the floor down trying to avoid eye contact. He returned about a minute later with black swim trunks and the plain black t-shirt he had worn to bed the night before. “You ready?” to which you nodded.

When you stepped outside Baekhyun started walking the opposite direction of the lake that was no more than 20 feet away. “Where are you going? The lake is right there.” He turned around “you don’t think I know that? Come on.” he gestured for you to follow him and you complied by going to his side to see where he was going to take you.

After about 20 minutes of walking through the literal woods, you came across a beautiful small body of water. On one side it had a wall of rock with moss and water falling from it creating a small water fall. It was surrounded by small flowers and you could see the water was clear and clean. “My brother and I used to come swim here when we were little. I’ve never seen anyone else here, it’s kind of like our secret.” Baekhyun uttered while looking at the water in remembrance. He was the first to remove his shirt and shoes to step into the water and you followed soon after, still taking in the beauty of the scenery around you. When you looked down into the water, Baekhyun was fixated on your body, following every curve until he met your eyes and quickly looked away. Your face was on fire, you quickly stepped into the water so he couldn’t see you. You both had a fun time, swimming around, splashing each other, having an actual good time with Byun Baekhyun.

On your way back to the cabin you realized you had nothing to cook for lunch, “hey I’m gonna go to the grocery store. There’s nothing to eat for lunch, do you want anything specific?” you asked him still walking towards the now visible house. “Get me milky way will you?” you laughed at his choice and quickly ran inside to grab the car keys. “I’m gonna take a nap I’m so tired.” he exclaimed, heading to the room. “Okay, I’ll be back in like 30 minutes. I’ll be quiet when I come in.” He nodded and disappeared into the hallway that leads to the rooms.

On your way back to the cabin pissed that you drove to the store and it ended up being closed due to the fact that it’s Sunday. You cursed yourself as you parked the car. You assumed that Baekhyun had already fell asleep so you walked in as quietly as you could manage. Sitting on the couch, you were about to open your laptop when you heard it. A low moan coming from the bedroom, followed by another soon after. Something brought you to your feet and now you found yourself tiptoeing towards the room. The door was cracked a few inches, giving direct sight to the bed. That’s when you see him. His head is thrown back, mouth slightly parted allowing more moans to slip past his lips. As your eyes travel farther down you see that his hand is wrapped tightly around his cock, pumping it at a medium pace. You focus on his cock, the tip is swollen red and glistening from his precum. His slender fingers travel up just to come back down. You should not be watching this, you should not keep watching this. You’re trying to convince yourself to turn around and walk away when your name falls from his lips in a moan. He was thinking of you. He said it again soon followed by another moan. You can’t help the wetness that’s taking over between your legs. Your heartbeat is in your clit, pounding and begging for some friction. You unbutton your shorts and let your hand travel into your panties. You find your clit and sigh as you relieve some tension. ‘This is wrong’ you keep telling yourself, but can’t break your eyes away from the sight in front of you. He speeds up his movements trying to chase his release. Your legs are shaking from how turned on you’ve become, you’ve never wanted someone so badly in your life. Baehyun’s breath become ragged, his hand movements becoming sloppier and sloppier, you’re also on the brink of your release as you rub your clit to try to match the speed of his hand. “Fuckk y/n”, that’s all it takes for you to be covering your mouth trying to ride out your orgasm while watching him the best you can. He releases a series of high pitch moans, and with his head thrown back he cums while moaning your name. When he rides out his release he relaxes, laying there with his eyes closed. You decide that this would be a good time to fake your coming home.

You open and close the front door and make sure to jingle the keys to let him know that you’re home. You hear frantic rustling from the bedroom, until he emerges. “Hey, why are you home so soon? Where my Milky Way?” he stands there with a fake pout and his arms crossed. “ The store was closed because it’s Sunday. I tried to drive around to see if I could find another one that was open but I couldn’t. Guess were having pb&j’s for lunch.” he smiled at the suggestion. “good enough for me.” he departed for the kitchen. “Hey, I thought you were gonna take nap.” you tried to sound like you didn’t know that he was just rubbing one off to you. “Couldn’t sleep.” When you were just about to say something Baekhyun’s phone started to ring.

“Hey mom. Yeah were okay. PB&J’s. We had pancakes. Yes I made the pancakes. We’re doing fine. No were not gonna do that today. Okay Mom. What? Another couple days? Yeah that’s fine. Okay. I love you too. Okay bye.” He ended the call and looked at you, “I guess the lodge is having some kind of autumn retreat, and they all want to stay for a couple more days. So it’s just you and me until Friday.”

No one ever talks about abusive friendships so I'm going to and you better pay attention because this is important

People know all about abusive relationships- how to spot the signs, how to leave, etc. But no one ever talks about abusive friendships, which can be just as damaging and often is. It’s also a more dangerous trap because people don’t even realize that they’re actually being abused by their friends

I’m writing this post based off of my own experiences and what I’ve seen in others’. Feel free to add anything you might find relevant upon reblogging, because you could seriously help someone. 

The vast majority of my ‘friendships’ have been abusive to me (as much as I hate to admit that), and it’s a horrible experience that I never want anyone else to live through.

I just want to add the things one should look for so no one else has to deal with the same bullshit I always did:

  • You’d rather be by yourself than hang out with that person (NOT the same feeling as being drained because you’re an introvert- you just really don’t want to hang out with that person specifically)
  • You have to always be on guard and watch what you say because your friend might bitch you out or get irrationally angry
  • He/she/zhe insults you and tries to pass it off as “I’m just saying…” or “I’m just trying to help you”
  • Seeing their name on your caller I.D. puts the fear of God in you because you’re not sure whether they’ll be kind or ready to tear at you for some unknown reason when you pick it up.
  • You’re always there when they have problems, but when it comes down to YOUR problems they brush them off as unimportant, give shitty, half-asses advice (when it’s easy to tell they just don’t care), or turn it around to make it about them and effectively have a “my problems are more important than yours so shut up” moment
  • They insult the things you find joy in (yes, this includes fandoms) but heaven forbid you show any distain for something they like, even if you only respectfully disagree- you MUST like what they like OR ELSE YOU’RE STUPID!
  • They tell other people your secrets or tell other people your worst personality traits and basically talk smack about you. Which prevents others from wanting to be your friend.
  • They ask for your advice/opinion and then get mad when you give it
  • They insult your family for really insignificant reasons or for no reason at all (I’m not even kidding guys. It can get out of hand. I had a friend who constantly insulting my parents and my brother and even said my mother couldn’t cook worth shit. Rude.) 
  • Say you are unable to do things because they “know you” and use that as an excuse to say you can’t do something you want to do. “You can’t do that, you’re too short LOL” yeah fuck you too asshole
  • You’re afraid that if you end the friendship they will go into Bitch Mode and tell all your darkest secrets and talk crap about you to everyone.
  • You have reason to believe that their Bitch Face is actually their True Face
  • They can’t seem to find anything to talk about except talking crap about other people and expecting you to agree with them (my 'best friend’ insulted another friend of mine, who I had ASKED OUT ONCE and was quite fond of, and got mad at me when I said anything in her defense.) 
  • The previous point leads me to the one where they insult your other friends. 
  • THEY ALWAYS TRY TO PIN THEIR PROBLEMS ON YOU EVEN IF YOU HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. Usually this happens after they ask for your “advice” and then blame you for everything later or make another problem out of YOUR OPINION.
  • They consistently use the wrong pronouns (if you’re trans*- and this doesn’t include times when they have to use the wrong pronouns because of safety reasons for you) or out you (as LGBTQA+) at inappropriate times, and then get angry when you call them out on it- “but it’s obvious you’re gay anyway, so why does it matter?” “It’s too hard to use the right pronouns! Just deal with it!” (even though they’ve known what the correct pronouns are for MONTHS and after constant reminders)
  • And lastly if something feels off to you or you just feel upset or off-put by your 'friend’ (or GROUP OF FRIENDS in some cases) It’s a toxic friendship and it’s NOT good for you!

If you feel you’re in a toxic friendship, end it. Right now. It may hurt, the other person may throw a hissy fit and try so say YOU’RE the bad friend (you’re not!), you might not want to hurt the person’s feelings (which you shouldn’t worry too much about because they didn’t really care about your feelings, now did they?). Just end it, and don’t look back, even if you’re left completely friendless.

Being friendless is by far much healthier for you than staying with a group of toxic friends who put you down and make you feel like shit. I know that sound convoluted but it’s absolutely true.

And remember that it’s not the end of the world and that you WILL find new friends- hopefully ones who are decent human beings and you’ll have a real friendship waiting for you.

Don’t continue to just live with it. Do something about it and in the long run you will be much happier, trust me. If in reading this list you were heavily reminded of a 'friend’ I’d suggest looking at the friendship again- it’s probably toxic, and not the Brittany Spears kind.

anonymous asked:

Hello! Can I make a request? I saw somebody else do this & i couldn't help requesting it here because I love your writing! RFA + V & Saeran 7 minutes in heaven? Huehuehue 🌚

(●♡∀♡) Ooooh!

This might be a little self indulgent. Also, I’m assuming this is a spin the bottle type game? Or it is now in this hc post.


Zen

- His huge ass grin when the bottle landed on you and everyone else’s groans made your face completely red, but you followed him along in the closet anyway.

- I mean…He was a gentlemen, right?

- As soon as the door closed, you were pinned against the wall, blushing furiously as he leaned down to whisper in your ear

- “We don’t have to go too far, princess, but I would love to kiss you.”

- “I- Okay. Yeah, okay.”

- Part of you couldn’t believe he was asking you permission, but it was nice he was willing to at least make sure you were okay with this.

- It was sweet at first- He tipped your chin up, lightly brushed his lips against yours before placing a soft kiss on you. 

- But as you kissed him back, it just got deeper and deeper.

- Soon you had your body flush against him, feeling his half-hard cock against your thigh as you slipped your tongue in between his lips, teasing him with a light nip on his bottom lip

- You even managed to get him to let out a low groan that sent a fast shot of nerves right to your crotch.

- “Whoa whoa whoa, break it up you two.”

- Seven had opened the door while the two of you were, erm, busy. Zen instantly pulled away, a light blush on his cheeks as he cleared his throat.

- You could see Yoosung moping and Jumin looking pissed in the background, Seven just waggling his eyebrows at the two of you.

- Part of you wanted to smack him for being so dumb, but you ended up stepping out and instantly pulling your phone out.

- As the bottle spinned again, you saw Zen pull his own phone out and that blush deepen at the message you had sent him

- Like hell you were going to let just seven minutes be the end of it.

Jumin

- He was so smug when you were chosen to go in with him. Zen was yelling and trying to make excuses for you to not go in with the ‘trust fund jerk’, but when you told him to hush, you almost made Jumin grin as Zen nearly lost it

- He let you step in first, closing the door behind the two of you. Before you could even have a coherent thought about the situation, he had you pulled to him and his lips greedily on yours.

- When you made a surprised noise, he pulled back a bit.

- “Is this what were supposed to do?”

- “W-Well, yes-”

- “Good, we only have a few minutes.”

- He started kissing you again, nipping your lips and starting to kiss down your neck as his hand slipped under the band of your pants-

- “Jumin!” You scolded him instantly, clutching his forearm as his middle finger slipped in between your legs and started teasing your clit

- “We have a few more minute-”

- You let out a gasp as a shudder ran through your body. How in the hell was he so stoic through all of this?

- You felt his breath against your neck as he attempted to say something else, but the door opened before he could.

- “Bzzt, times- Oooohoho shit.”

- Jumin just reached for the door handle, pulling it closed and holding it as Seven and the others started a fuss

- You ended up laughing, finally finding it in you to pull his hand out of your pants, giving him one last peck on the cheek.

Seven

- You nearly joined everyone in a groan when the bottle landed on him as he let out a doofy grin

- But, you smiled as you joined him in the closet. Yes, he was basically a living meme, but he was sweet and cute, too.

- The door closed, and you could hear how nervous he was in the little laugh he let out

- “So, Mc, whatcha going to do now?”

- You rolled your eyes, but pulled him a bit closer to you and planted a kiss on his cheek

- Okay, you missed a bit in the dark and felt your nose hit the frame of his glasses, but you kissed his face and counted that as a win

- He laughed a bit, cupping your face in his hands and managing to meet your lips with his own. Nothing hardcore, just a sweet and gentle kiss.

- “Have I told you how soft you are, mc?”

- “… I would find a better way to word that, Seven.”

- “Softer than our precious Elly~”

- “Seven.”

- You felt his breath against your lips as he chuckled before kissing you again, letting it last a bit longer

- Even though he was such a dork, his kisses were so sweet and careful. 

- You returned his kiss, and soon the two of you were starting a string of soft kisses.

- … Until the door flew open with a stern Zen interrupting the two of you.

- “Alright, alright, it’s been seven minutes!”

_” Oh, you misunderstood the name of the game, Zen. It’s minutes with Seven, so there’s not a time-”

- “Out.”

- The two of you laughed, but you both left the closet. Though, you made sure to grab his hand and make him sit next to you afterwards. 

Jaehee

- As soon as the two of you were shoved in the closet, you could just imagine how stiff she was due to nerves

- (Was she going to kill Seven? Yes. Right when she got out? Yes.)

- She certainly wasn’t going to do anything, but that didn’t mean you weren’t going to

- Carefully, you slipped a hand in hers. When she gave your hand a squeeze back, you slipped your other around her neck, pulling her closer to you and giving her a soft kiss on her lips.

- She froze, but after a few more soft pecks, she started returning them.

- It was awkward, clumsy due to the dark, but after a bit you pulled away and giggled, still holding onto her hand

- “M-Mc, you didn’t have to-”

- “You’re too cute, I wanted you to relax a bit.”

- She clammed up, but you knew she was blushing. 

- The two of you ended up just holding hands for a bit longer, and then Seven slammed open the door with a loud “BZZT!”

- (Seven may or may not have gotten socked right in the gut)

Yoosung

- When the bottle landed on you, Yoosung turned such a bright red. Seven pushed the both of you towards the closet, and once you got in Yoosung was rigid with nerves.

- “Mc, you don’t-”

- “Shh, it’s fine, Yoosung.”

- Your hands found his, and you could nearly feel the heat radiating off his cheeks

- Apparently the both of you moved to kiss at the same time, resulting in the two of you bumping noses. You pulled back and giggled, Yoosung letting out a shy little laugh in return

- You cupped his cheeks, pulling him towards you more carefully now, planting a soft but decent kiss on his lips.

- He clumsily returned it, his hands finding your hips and pulling you a bit closer.

- After a few kisses, he was starting to get the hang of it a bit, but he froze with a small yelp as you nipped at his bottom lip

- (Okay, might have moved a bit too fast there)

- He pulled back a bit, his hands leaving your hips.

- “W-Was that okay?”

- Your hand found his and gave it a squeeze. “Yeah, that was good.”

- “I haven’t really…You know.”

- “That’s okay, I mean we can always practice.”

- When Seven opened the door, you got to see how red Yoosung’s face had gotten from that, and it was hard not to giggle.

V

- No one really objected when the two of you were going in the closet. Not even Yoosung, but he did look a tad grumpy

- V, however, was blushing like mad. As soon as the door closed, he was going on and on. “Mc, you don’t have to do anything, it’s alright, don’t feel pressured. We can just talk.”

- You ignored his anxious ramblings, slipping to your knees, lifting his shirt up a bit, and placing a kiss right above the waistband of his pants.

- He let out a soft gasp, instantly covering his mouth. You could tell he wanted to say more, to insist that you didn’t have to do a thing, but you’d be damned if you weren’t going to continue.

- A few teasing nips and you unzipped his pants, pulling them down enough to slip his half-hard cock from his boxers. You felt a blush creep up to your cheeks with the realization you were going to finally give this man a blowjob, but you shook it off, giving his cock a few pumps to get it to stand at full attention

- He let out a strangled and low moan, trying his best to keep quiet. You could hear him start to whimper your name, but you didn’t give him a chance to finish before you slipped the head of his cock in your mouth

- You knew you were running short on time, but you were desperate in making this feel amazing for him. When was the last time he was able to fully relax?

- You started pumping your hand along his length as you bobbed your head, sucking on his tip and loving his free hand wrapped desperately in your hair

- You could feel him straining to stop himself from thrusting into your mouth, so you let your hands rest and hold his hips as you finally took him fully in.

- God the sound he made

- It didn’t take long for you to taste a hot and salty liquid in your mouth, his nails digging into your scalp as he struggled to keep his groans quiet enough. When his grip loosened, you teasingly and slowly pulled his cock out of your mouth, loving the little whimper he let out.

- You stood up as he quickly pulled his pants back up, both of you thankful he was able to right before Seven pulled the door open with an annoying sound

- You just smiled and left the closet, V still leaning against the wall with a stunned blush on his cheeks

Saeran

- As soon as the two of you were in the closet, he had you pinned, your chest flush against the wall.

- “Do you think we could sneak a quickie?” He teased, his hands already fumbling with your pants as he grinded against your ass

- Sure, the two of you may or may not have been seeing each other in secret… And you might have been teasing him through text during Seven’s silly RFA afterparty….

- But you weren’t expecting him to already be raring to go, jfc

- You bit your lip as he tugged your panties down, his lips teasing at your sensitive neck.

- “Try to stay quiet.”

- You didn’t get a chance to respond before he slipped the head of his cock between your wet folds, rubbing it against your clit before finally moving back a tad and pushing inside you

- You started to let out a groan before moving clamping a hand over your mouth

- Saeran wasted no time in trying to get you to come as quickly and as hard as possible. One hand kept your hip in place as the other reached around to rub your clit. The two of you didn’t have long befor-

- “Bzzz-OOOKAY!”

- As quickly as the door had opened, you only caught a glimpse of a surprised Seven before the door was slammed shut.

- Saeran only paused for a moment, a bit surprised at how fast seven minutes had came and gone, but he wasted no time in starting his pace back up

- Guess the two of you had all the time you needed, now.

anonymous asked:

can I request nct neighbour au for jaehyun and mark just like the seventeen one? those are so good. but take your time :) thank you!

a lot of you wanted some more nct stuff on this blog, plus jaehyun’s birthday is tomorrow so!! take this as a little gift for the lovely boy of nct~ (and mark heh)

Jaehyun 

  • smiling sunshine, dimple angel of the apartment building that is so nice that he smiles at everyone and then ends up walking straight into the front door,,,,,,,jaehyun please looks where you’re going more often you clumsy kid
  • whenever he’s coming home, the kids from the nearby park will call out his name and ask him to join them
  • and if he has time you can find him holding a jump rope or helping one of the kids reach the basketball net
  • other times you can see him running down the straight, obviously late for his bus and trying to juggle his notebook, backpack, and phone
  • and he has this really childlike obliviousness about him,,,,,like he’s always just smiling and positive 
  • and if he does anything to embarrass himself he just laughs it off 
  • and if he meets a neighbor that might be in a bad mood, just talking with him usually makes people feel so comfortable and at ease,,,,,,he’s literally got a healing smile
  • keeps a lot of sports memorabilia in his apartment and it’s cute he like has the flag from his favorite national teams up on the wall and he invites people over to watch games with him
  • he likes to keep things clean, but his desk is always over piling with notebooks because he keeps forgetting them at home and then buying new ones to write in and in the end he ends with a huge stack on his desk that taeyong is always nagging about when he comes over
  •  but other than that,,,,,,it’s a really normal apartment and jaehyun never worries about like decorating or anything. he cooks for himself (decently) and so the only thing he spends money on is sports + groceries 
  • and you’re ,,,,,,,,,, not the best cook to put it lightly and you know jaehyun because whenever you bump into him at the grocery store he actually looks like he knows what he’s doing while you’re just like ???????!!!!!!!
  • and it’s like your third attempt at trying to make edible ramen,,,,that you just break one afternoon and you end up ringing jaehyun’s doorbell and when he opens the door you’re like “Save Me”
  • and he’s like “???? IS THERE A FIRE??? ARE YOU GETTING ROBBED? ILL CALL-”
  • and you just put the packet of ramen in his hand and you’re like “i suck,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,at Cooking”
  • it takes him a second but he burst out into that heavenly laughter and is like “so you need help?” and you’re like “please,,,,,,im so hungry” and he’s like “ok, ramen is easy. i can teach you in no time”
  • and you stand beside him as he boils the water like an expert and tears open the ramen and he’s telling you about how you should add in other things aside from flavor packets, like maybe vegetables or spices
  • and he’s doing this so effortlessly and in your head you’re like: how
  • but then also you peek up and you see how relaxed and happy he looks
  • the handsome set of his jaw, the way his eyes are a soft chocolate brown 
  • and you realize only when he goes “almost done” that you’ve spent the last five minutes staring at him and not paying attention
  • and you’re like “o-oh yay!” and jaehyun invites you to try it with him
  • and he dips the spoon in and carefully blows on it before offering it to you and you want to take the spoon
  • but he’s like “i can feed you!” 
  • completely oblivious to how he’s making your heart race and you taste it and ofc, it’s amazing and you’re like “how are you so good at everything??” and jaehyun’s like “im not good at EVERYTHING” but you’re like
  • “well you’re good at sports, cooking, and you’re cute that’s basically everything-”
  • and jaehyun grins but then his eyes widen a bit and he’s like “pardon me, but did you just say cute?”
  • and you’re like OH mY G OD ,,,,,,,, i did,,,,,,,,,and you’re like “WELL ILL BE GOING NOW”
  • but jaehyun is like “wait we should eat this ramen together-”
  • and you’re like dkjsfkdlf thank you for teaching me,,,,,i made a fool of myself i must go,,,,,,,,,,
  • but jaehyun’s face softens and he’s like “i think you’re cute too, so stay and have some ramen?”
  • and you’re like ,,,,,,w,,,,,,,,,,what,,,,,,,,,but also how can you say no to him and so you sit down beside him and he pours some ramen into a bowl for you
  • and as you’re sitting you’re trying not to blush TOO much
  • while jaehyun’s just thinking to himself,,,,,,that if if two cute people cook ramen together, does the ramen also become cuter?????? whatever, he just hopes he can cook with you sometime again soon~~~

Mark

  • always has someone over at his place because his hyungs don’t trust him living alone 
  • taeyong is basically his damn roommate
  • he doesn’t spend too much time at home so he never has the opportunity to make it messy, except if he has like haechan over,,,,,,then he ends up with something from his closet missing and like half his supply of snacks. gone
  • he has like one poster on his wall of his favorite Canadian hockey player and it’s important to him because his brother sent it over when mark moved,,,,,,taeyong is like “it’s crooked” whenever he sees it but mark is like “hyung,,,,,,,it’s the sentiment that counts.”
  • sleeps just about anywhere in his apartment,,,,,,,like most people go to sleep in their bed but mark just knocks out where-ever. the couch, the floor, the kitchen table, while he’s brushing his teeth,,,,,,he just lives a very hectic life
  • his refrigerator gets covered in polaroids that jisung and jeno insist he put up and mark isn’t one for decorating, but he lets his younger friends do whatever because like why not 
  •  he gets nagged on by them for being “boring” but mark is like i just don’t have time to do anything ????? i barely had time to eat my morning bagel???? 
  • you think mark is really cute, ever since you moved in down the hall but like????? all the other neighbors are always like “we don’t know anything about him because he’s never around.” and you kind of get sad
  • because you get a glimpse of him like every two weeks and even then you can’t even properly introduce yourself because he’s either running out of the building or talking with a friend whose coming over
  • and you know,,,,,it’s not like you’re going to try and press the issue. you just smile whenever you two happen to pass each other even in those three seconds of interaction
  • and mark always smiles back,,,,,,,,,,,because he’s sweet
  • and you don’t know if it’s the sleep deprivation or just confusion but you hear someone trying to unlock your door when day
  • and when you go over, you open up and you see mark - shocked to see you
  • and he’s like “why,,,,,,,,are you in my apartment?” and you’re like “um,,,,,,,i live here. this is my apartment, you’re over there down the hall.”
  • and mark blinks and looks at his key and then at you and he’s like “thaT’S WHY it must have not opened up??? i kept putting my key in but it wouldn’t turn!!!”
  • and you laugh into your hand and you’re like “yeah, that’s probably why” and mark apologizes and you’re like don’t worry but then you’re like,,,,,,this is my only chance to ever talk to him so you’re like
  • “we haven’t ever,,,,,introduced ourselves but im your neighbor!” and you tell him your name and age and he grins and tells you his age and you guys just chat for a bit
  • and then out of nowhere he goes “you don’t have any chips do you?” and you’re like “i do, why?” and he’s like “i wanted to buy some on my way home, but i totally forgot and i just remembered because the hockey game is on later tonight and a friend of mine ate all my snacks the last time he was over”
  • with that mark rolls his eyes and mumbles haechan’s name but you’re like “oh, ill give you mine! hockey sounds fun - ive always wanted to learn more about it”
  • and mark perks up and he’s like “im from canada, hockey is like religion to us!! you should come over and watch the gam-”
  • but he stops himself and reddens and is like “it must be creepy for me to just ask like that, like who’d just come over to watch a game with a stranger haha”
  • but you shake your head and you’re like “i’d love to!”
  • and you get your chips and that’s how you end up sitting on mark’s couch, mark pointing to the players on the TV and explaining positions and goals and soon enough the two of you are literally sitting on the rug, nose in the TV, watching the game so intently and sharing chips
  • and when the team scores, you and mark burst into cheers like you’re literally in the rink with the fans
  • and you’re high-fiving each other and grinning  
  • but also,,,,,,,once you look into each others eyes there’s a little hint of embarrassment because,,,,,,, you guys are still new to each other but also like ,,,,,,,,,, interested in each other
  • and neither of you says anything
  • until the door opens and in walks doyoung whose like “oops am i interrupting a date?”
  • you and mark: A WHAT NOW 
you’re like vertigo (or dizziness, or nausea, or confusion)

A month into sharing a room, they’ve kind of got into the swing of living together while avoiding murdering each other. 

Nursey is annoying as fuck in the general sense, but he’s a fairly decent roommate - tidy but not neurotically so, uses his earphones, and doesn’t sexile Dex, all of which make him an improvement on Troy who Dex roomed with freshman year.

It could be worse. Dex could be nursing an enormous, unrequited, painful crush on his roommate and liney which would make every second of spending time together literal torture.

Oh, wait.

His only hope is that when he finally loses it and actually kills Nursey out of savagely repressed lust it’ll be considered a justifiable homicide. 

Who is he kidding. It’s going to end up on a show like Dateline, with something in the synopsis about a ‘crime of passion’. He’s fucked.

Keep reading

Genesis - 7.19

It’s a fashion-light episode but it DOES involve Spot, so. 

We start with Riker in sickbay getting some sort of spiny plant removed from his back after things “started getting romantic” with him and another crew member in the arboretum. 

Fuck so hard I roll over dangerous plants and don’t give two shits

Nurse Ogawa is here, which is always a pleasure, and she’s rocking a seriously voluminous updo, sort of a 1940s meets 1990s sensible French twist. I’m sure she loves having to remove Riker’s sexytime plant spines. That’s definitely what she went to Starfleet Nursing Academy for. 

Barclay is also in sickbay, because: Barclay.

He literally claimed he had something called “Terellian Death Syndrome” which is honestly a terrible name for a syndrome

Beverly has asked him repeatedly not to search the medical database before coming to her (AKA Never Search WebMD), but of course Broccoli does. She’s got her gorgeous strawberry shortcake season 7 hair happening:

MFW Barclay shows up in sickbay for the third time this week

The other patient being tended to is also a beautiful redhead:

The laying on of hands

Spot is pregnant and at first I was like “HOW THE FUCK DID SPOT GET PREGNANT” but apparently a) there are 12 male cats on board and b) Spot has a tendency to sneak out of Data’s quarters.

Okay, listen.

1. If there are AT LEAST 13 cats on board, WHERE ARE THEY? I want a Bridge Cat.

Bridge Cat: artist’s rendering

2. HOW IS SPOT GETTING OUT? This is a fucking SPACESHIP. Shit should be LOCKED DOWN. It’s literally AIRTIGHT. I GUESS she could sneak through, like, a vent or something but if you’re going to have cats on board, you need to PLAN for their fuckery.

This could be really bad

3. If the cats are WANDERING THE SHIP, aren’t you worried they’re going to end up in the warp core? Or that even just their fur is? WHO IS VACUUMING UP ALL THE FUR.

Anyway, Crusher is apparently also a veterinarian (which I guess makes sense since she treats all sorts of species) and says that Spot should deliver her babies soon. Nurse Ogawa then says that she’s also pregnant! THIS WILL BE IMPORTANT LATER, which is the only reason she says it.

Also important for later:

Oh yeah gimme that t-cell injection

I’ll just tell you now that all the weird stuff that occurs in this episode is a result of Broccoli’s mutated t-cells after he gets this shot (or something). It’s (enjoyable) nonsense so don’t worry about it. I just wanted you to see how much he loved getting this hypospray.

Picard and Data have to drive through an asteroid field to get a stray torpedo (bad). Data asks Barclay to keep an eye on Spot, since she’s about to give birth, and she likes Barclay best of all the people on board. You can tell by the way she looks at him:

This IS my “I love you” face

Broccoli is pleased, because no one likes him.

WE’RE BEST FRIENDS NOW

It’s actually very sweet; Barclay even seems to know something about cats and asks Data where she’s planning to have her kittens.

With Barclay’s luck, she will have them inside his pants while he’s wearing them, somehow

I just really enjoy Data’s display case here, with his violin case juuuuust open enough to let all the dust in, but not quite enough to actually see the instrument.

Spot’s in good hands:

Yarn, Spot? You cliche

Elsewhere on the ship, Worf is having a fucking feast:

No I asked for a SIDE of tentacles

This looks delicious, actually. Giant turkey leg? Some kind of weird dried fish? Potato salad on a bed of green beans? I’m in. 

Troi shows up, a little upset that Worf didn’t wait for her, since they planned to have lunch together. He’s mean and it’s weird. You can already tell something STRANGE is happening on the ship, mostly because Troi is NOT wearing a jewel tone:

Eileen Fisher for Spacefleet

Drink this look in, kids, because it’s one of the two non-uniform looks in this episode. We can see here that I THINK Troi is wearing some Danskin shimmer tights with her beige on beige minidress and matching waterfall cardigan. The color is not what we usually see on her, but it’s not terrible (except for my pre-existing anti-beige bias). It’s certainly along the lines of what I wear when I’m lounging around.

Secret pajamas except it’s not a secret. It’s just pajamas I wear in public

Ed. note: I copied that picture of my cat Violet to my clipboard earlier when I was making the images above and I accidentally pasted it here and I can’t bring myself to delete it.

Troi’s hair has reached its astonishing season 7 pouf levels and I just love everything about it. Anyway, Worf is acting like a real dick, but we do get another good look at those Ten-Forward outfits.

IS THAT HOUNDSTOOTH

If I ever attend another con, that’s going to be my look because houndstooth is everything to me.

Later, Worf’s dickishness turns into something MORE:

I’M A DICK ON A RAMPAGE

This scene is super dark and it’s not totally clear what’s happening, but Worf basically just destroys his own quarters, including his pillows, then cuddles up with them on the floor. We do get a decent look at Worf’s jammies, which are brown and might be made of varying colors of burlap.

If anyone was gonna wear burlap pajamas, it would be the Klingons

I’m not sure what’s going on with that shoulder detail, but it can’t be that comfortable to sleep in? But again - Klingons aren’t exactly a culture that considers “comfort” to be something to aim for. If you showed a Klingon an Aerosole, he would 100% cut it in half and throw the halves in your face.

These PJs might also be linen, which would be WAY nicer to sleep in, but a little off-brand. I mean, a Klingon in linen? Can you imagine? Hold on, you don’t have to:

Pure white to better show off the blood of my slain enemies

So everyone is acting weird. Troi is like “I’m cold. I need a bath,” and walks off the bridge. The next time we see her, this is happening:

Deanna, sweetie? It’s more relaxing if you take your uniform off

As she’s taking her fully-clothed bath, Worf busts in and:

CHOMP

It’s actually very upsetting, and at first neither of them even really know how to react either:

Oh god did I just bite you

Did you just fucking BITE me??????

Troi goes to sickbay, where she gets my favorite disco blanket:

Disco Blanket: Because why shouldn’t a blanket be iridescent

To be fair, emergency blankets ARE shiny, so.

You better believe that’s an affiliate link, friend

Okay so THEN Crusher is examining Worf and she asks him to open his mouth and HOO BOY was that a mistake.

Does the replicator not have the recipe for Listerine, or

He SPRAYS her like a fucking dilophosaurus!! 

NOT IN THE FAAAAAAAAAACE

Later someone says her injuries were so bad that SHE WILL NEED RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY. That means in every episode after this (not many, but still), we are seeing a RECONSTRUCTED BEV. 

So everyone is losing it, basically, which doesn’t explain why Broccoli thinks this is a normal way to stand:

Is this how a human? Does a stand? How is stand

Finally, Picard and Data come back, and when they arrive, the Enterprise is just adrift. They board and find this:

Sir, if the t-shirt does not spark joy when you touch it, the book counsels you to throw it away. I was unable to apply this method as I do not feel joy, nor any other emotion

It’s the shed skin of a reptile, which: whaaaaaat? Ain’t no reptiles on this ship!

Narrator: actually, there were reptiles on this ship

Troi is still in the bathtub when Picard and Data find her, and she is like, half lizard because the t-cells released when Barclay got that hypospray are making everyone de-evolve. Sure. She looks terrible, which is a real feat since Marina Sirtis is such a Betty:

Honestly she’s still p hot

I think my favorite part of this makeup is the gecko-like fingertips. Excellent detail. Love the scales, love the contacts, love the unripe banana shade of green they used. All great. 

Data and Picard go check out what else is happening, and they find a caveman at one of the control panels:

Not a Starfleet regulation haircut

But what’s this? It’s not a caveman at all! It’s…

I heard dramatic eyebrows were back in

…Riker! I guess! The makeup on Frakes here is SO heavy that it’s not immediately apparent that it’s Riker, except that he’s wearing command red and has a beard. Plus, Picard says “Will?” upon this reveal. 

FUCK YOU GUYS

I’m saving this as my “flipping the bird” image to use forever.

Data and Picard manage to subdue Riker and get him to sickbay, after which they go to Data’s quarters to use his computer. But guess what happened?

KITTENS

Spot had her babies! They’re legit VERY small kittens and very cute. Data says they’re hungry, and wonders why Spot isn’t taking care of them. And then comes one of the best shots since chicken in the hallway:

Sup

IT’S AN IGUANA WEARING SPOT’S COLLAR. SPOT DEVOLVED INTO LITERALLY JUST AN IGUANA. I laughed so hard at this shot and I REALLY wanted the kittens to interact with the iguana, but they didn’t. I don’t know if that iguana was even on set.

LOL

Data notes that the kittens didn’t turn into baby iguanas, so he thinks maybe there’s some kind of cure for the devolution from pregnancy? Or something? This is where Nurse Ogawa’s recently-announced pregnancy comes into play. So he goes to sickbay, and Picard goes to see what’s going on in Engineering, and finds:

Help meeee

Barclay devolved into, like, a spider? I guess? Because this gene mutating thing is just nuts and does whatever the effects people think will look cool. (And they all do look pretty cool.)

Nurse Ogawa has devolved into Standard Neanderthal #4:

On loan from the American Museum of National History

And finally, the big boss: Worf. Worf turned into something with an exoskeleton that was able to make this dent in the sickbay door:

Rude

Picard and Data speculate that Worf thinks Troi is his mate (sure) and he’s trying to get through the door to her, so they synthesize her pheromones to draw Worf away from sickbay so that Data can focus on making a cure with Nurse Ogawa’s pregnancy hormones. Obviously. But first Picard has to get out of sickbay.

PEEK

Picard manages to lure away the Worf-monster, which looks like this:

Part beetle, part conch shell, all covered in chocolate

It’s hard to see what’s happening but what you can see is just really gnarly:

Are there horny toads on Klingon?

Ultimately, Data is successful in making a cure and sends it through the air ducts so everyone on board is fine. And when Barclay finds out that it was his treatment that started it all, and that he might have a disease named after him:

A hypochondriac’s dream

And don’t forget: THERE ARE AT LEAST 13 CATS ON THE ENTERPRISE

I have this really soft fondness for a WWI AU

Conner, Wally, Dick, Roy, and Kaldur are sort of a squad of misfits. Probably why they’re put together, commanders thinking they’d be decent canon fodder. But they get on like a house on fire once they get to know each other.

 Kaldur’ahm is constantly battling the incredible amount of racism as a biracial soldier. His father was African American and his mother was a Pacific Islander. 

The you have Wally, the smart talking red headed Irish American who deals with that prejudice, but damn can he run. He wanted to be a soccer player - got drafted instead. 

Conner is a tank, but he’s got some major authority problems and anger issues. 

There’s Dick, who would be the model soldier - but he faked his age when he signed up for the army. He went in under the name Robin, aged 18 but when the team finds out he’s only 16, they cover for him. They’re pissed, but it’s too late to send him home now. They become a little protective of him.

Then there’s Roy, their sniper. Nothing odd about him, he’s just a jackass. 

They would look out for each other. Like, they insist on Kaldur being their leader despite higher command sputtering and refusing to give him rank. He gets it anyway. Wally and Dick end up falling in love, and they all keep the relationship quiet. 

okay this is going to get long so readmore

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Whatever It Takes: Chapter 4

ACOTAR Figure Skating AU

Summary: Nesta firmly believes that if you want something, you have to work your ass off for it. And she wants a National title attached to her name. But when her coach decides that a change in discipline is what Nesta needs, she’s far from impressed. Now, instead of training as a ladies single skater, she has to switch gears and skate as a pairs skater. And her partner? Someone she can’t stand. Non other than cocky, flirtatious, former Men’s skater Cassian.
Edited by: @ilikebigbooks-and-icannotlie

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

——————–

Azirel kept his eyes down low, trained on the floor.

He didn’t want to make eye contact with anyone. Because if he did, they would see his face. And he would have to deal with the confusion and pity in their eyes.

He didn’t want their pity. Not one bit.

Azriel stood at the very end of the counter with his hands pushed deep in the pockets of his jacket. It was pretty early in the morning - just after seven. The local coffee shop was in the middle of its morning rush.

Azriel kept his eyes downcast as he glanced around the room. Elders, business people, students, families - an abundance of different people were gathered in the small shop. Normally, Azriel would have gone through the drive-thru to grab his black coffee on his way to school. But that morning, with the rain coming down in sheets, it was much quicker to just go inside.

“Extra large, black.”

He stepped forward, giving the young man behind the counter a quick nod of thanks as he handed Az his coffee, then turned on his heel. He made his way towards the door, pulling up his hood as he went, keeping his eyes down the whole time.

A mix of wind and rain slapped him in the face the moment he opened the door, the dainty bell ringing above him as he went.

Keys gripped tightly in one hand and coffee in the other, Azriel ran across the parking lot to his car. Water splashed against his legs as rain bounced off of his back. By the time he reached his car, he was already soaked.

He was half in the car when he heard a vehicle pull up next to him and the sound of his name being called over the downpour of rain.

“Az!”

Keep reading

Just Doing Your Job (Chapter 1)

Request List 67, #8. Could someone please write an fpreg where the reader’s (or the one getting pregnant’s) lover is a half-snake woman? Like, woman on top, snake from the waist down? Not sure how it’d work, but this would be great.    

(oh anon, you had me at “snake woman”…hope u don’t mind it’s in multiple chapters!!)

-

Life in the city was pretty tough. With it’s little parking space, traffic, and high rent, it wasn’t easy getting by unless you were fairly successful and held a decent job. Unfortunately, like most people, you weren’t. As a young, budding artist, you just barely scraped by living with 4 people in what was really a 2 person apartment. Rent was lower that way, but you couldn’t handle the lack of privacy and space. You knew you needed to move, and fast.

Fortunately, you were in luck. While it wasn’t the most artistic job in the world, you found out through an ad in a newspaper about a job in a nearby apartment complex. The complex was specifically for human mutants, and in order to make it as accessible as possible, many occupants needed maids or servants to accompany them and tend to their needs. You were basically being paid to be someone else’s shadow, but many mutants lived in luxury, and the job paid well. There was also the added bonus of getting to live with only one other person, so you applied almost immediately, hoping for some merciful occupant to take you in.

To your surprise, it was only about a week until you heard a response. With your background checks cleared and your application reviewed, the landlord of the complex approved you to come in and be a part of their weekly “companion meet and greet”, where you’d sit at a table and occupants would talk to you to see if you were right for them. It was a little nerve wracking, but you knew you’d be just fine…as long as someone decided to take you in.

The meet and greet had been planned just a few days after you received your email. Upon entering, you noticed a way more mutants than there were average humans. Before you could really take a good look at the crowd, a woman dressed in a formal pantsuit came over to you. She looked relatively normal, save for the fact that her eyes were all white.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Violet B567. I’m the landlord of this apartment complex, you are?”

“U-uh, I’m Darla, but you can just call me Danny. It sounds less…pretentious.“

Violet laughs a little, revealing sharp teeth. “Ah, I was hoping you’d show. I think there are quite a few tenants who’d like to meet you.” She replies, leading you to your table. After making you sign an agreement contract, she went over to where a microphone resided and announced that the residents could finally go and browse around.

For every human, there were about 5 mutants to match them. You couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed as tenants met with you, some more human than others. Many approached you sporting fins, multiple pairs of tails or wings, and in one case, frog legs, but only one out of them all interested you.

A woman with deep chocolate colored hair and amber eyes approached you, first looking over your paper resume you had laid out before she decided to make eye contact with you, giving you a smile.

“Your name is…Darla?”

“Yes, though Danny is prefered.” You reply, trying to sound polite. “And you?”

“Victoria L084, very nice to meet you.” She says, putting her hand out for you to shake. You were just about to go out and grab it when she suddenly recoils and let out an inhuman hiss, turning away from you.

It was at this moment you realized she was half snake. How the hell did you not notice that?

Her lower half was grey in color with brown markings, coiled just before the table. It seems however that she’d left a little bit of her tail sticking out and some poor soul with had accidentally stepped on it with his hooves.

“Excuse me, that’s my tail you’re standing on.” She calls, an edge in her voice. The man almost immediately hops off, the deer-like ears on his head folding back,

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to step on it.”

She huffs, puffing herself up in a defensive manner. “Yeah, I’m sure. Maybe watch where you’re going next time?”

“I-I-I…” The poor guy looked scared to death, but then again, you probably would be too if you had a snake-woman scolding you.

“I’m sure he just didn’t see you, your tail is pretty low to the ground and he’s tall.” You interrupt, trying to diffuse the fight. “Plus…he probably can’t see very well with his eyes shaped the way the are.”

She turns to you, looking serious, “How did you know that?”

“His pupils are horizontally slotted, so I guess….he’d be more in tune with seeing things from afar? I studied deer for a commission a while back.”

“Yes! Yes, that’s right. I-I dropped my glasses and broke them the other day, so I can’t really see things up close until my new ones ship in…” The man claims, looking ready to run away.

Victoria hums contemplatively, before finally relaxing. “Alright, ok, you can go. Just be careful, please.”

“O-o-of course! No problem! Bye!” He replied, nodding his head and bolting away. Yeesh, you’d never seen anyone run away that fast before.

“Sorry about that.” Victoria apologizes, turning back to you. “I hate when people touch my tail. My anger gets the best of me sometimes.”

You shrug, “I can get that, I guess. I wouldn’t like my tail touched if I had one either, much less stepped on.”

“Exactly! Some people think they can just walk right up and touch my tail. Sorry, I’m not a traveling petting zoo, at least ask before touching.” She exclaims, crossing her arms. “Say, how much do you know about mutants?”

“A little. I did some studies on them when freelancing for a magazine that specifically published for mutants, but I still have a lot to learn.”

“Well, the only way you’re going to learn is by observing. Has anyone else decided to employ you?”

You shake your head, “No, or else I would’ve packed up and left.”

“Perfect! Then, you can stay with me.” She smiles, taking a slip of paper from her pocket and writing down her number on it. “Text me and we can work out a salary through Violet and your moving day, sound good?”

“Uh, yeah, sounds good.” You stutter, taking the paper. She decided, just like that? You thought there would be more effort involved in getting hired.

“Great, I’ll hear from you soon, then!” Victoria says, leaving your table. “Bye for now!”

You blink, feeling a bit flustered. “Oh, uh, bye.”

This was going to be quite the job, wasn’t it?

-

You were right. To call it “quite the job” was an understatement. While Victoria wasn’t nearly as mean as she showed during the meet and greet, her life was VERY different than yours. Dedicated to science, she made her money studying threatening diseases in animals. She was a leading researcher due to her natural talent with predatory animals, and was known throughout her field. Being an art nerd, you wouldn’t know a thing about animal husbandry, but after spending a few months in her home, you got to know a thing or two.

First off, she had a very strict diet of rodent, chicken, and occasionally lamb. Due to her serpentine body, her diet was limited to just meats, as anything else could make her sick. Her diet was so strict, in fact, she bought a mini-fridge just for you in your room so your groceries wouldn’t touch. You thought it was unnecessary, but hey, you weren’t complaining.

Second of all, because she was away from home due to work so much, you were basically there to make sure nobody broke in as well as to clean up the dust that settles on unused furniture. Literally every piece of furniture was tailored to work with her body, so they were pretty hard for you to clean. She had suspended ropes and beams she could drape herself from, extra large couches to fit her coils, and her bed was literally a glorified tent to mimic a burrow. You never really used her furniture much, unless she invited you too, so quite literally you had to dust everything in her apartment.

And finally, you were also there to assist her in communicating with other researchers when she couldn’t. Every once and awhile, she gave you her computer and told you to reply with any emails with a script explaining she was away. You had no idea what she was doing, but you just assumed she was going into a mini-hibernation of sorts. It wasn’t until about a year after you started living with her did you realize you were wrong…so, so wrong.

“Danny? Are you there?” You heard Victoria call, her voice slightly urgent.

Peaking your head out of your room, you frowned as you called back. “Yeah, do you need me?”

“Uhm, maybe, quickly. Please.”

That didn’t sound good. You found yourself in her room in under 3 seconds, only to find her in her tent-bed, looking slightly uncomfortable.

“I need you to take my computer…my cycle..it started early,”

“Sure, no problem, but your cycle for…what?” You replied, fretting a little. “You don’t get periods.”

She nods, going a bit red in the face. “Kind of…I just..no, it’s embarrassing to talk about. Just take my computer.”

“Are you…sure?” You asked, bending to her level. “I know it’s none of my business, but if I knew, maybe I could help. That’s what I’m here for.”

“I just…fuck, ok, every once and a while I get pseudo-periods, but I don’t bleed, I…lay eggs, or at least my body wants me to. Typically mutants like me just lay them like normal and get over it, but I have lay in something, because that’s how the scientists built me. It’s painful not too, so I usually wait until my body absorbs the eggs back in and moves on.”

Damn. That was a lot to take in.

“So…you’re in pain?”

Hesitant, she nods, biting her lip.

You sigh, straightening up. “Well, I have no idea if this will work, but I have some heat pads in my room, and if you’re cramping, I could always try to massage them away.”

She looked bewildered, “You can do that?”

“Yeah, of course. It’s not like you haven’t made me to strange shit before.” You replied, smirking a little. “Remember once you made me get a piece of stuck shed off your tail because you couldn’t?”

You laughed a little as she turned bright red, “Well I’m sorry that the scientists who made me made my arms too short for me to reach parts of my tail! It wasn’t humid enough for all of it to off at once!”

“Right, right.” You chided, rolling your eyes, “Whatever you say. I’ll be right back.”

Grabbing your heat pad from your room, you also grab some aspirin and water, just in case. Coming back, you notice Victoria has modified her tent-bed to make it just the slightest bit bigger. Did she…want you to go into there?

“I brought asprin, do you want it?”

She shook her head, “No, it’ll make me sick. I will take the water, though.”

Handing it over, you plugged the heat pad in let it warm up before sliding it into her tent.

“Just put that wherever you want, but I recommend to put it where you’re cramping.

Nodding, you watch as she puts the pad under where her hips end and her tail begins. For some reason, watching her makes you feel odd, so you pull your eyes away and busy yourself with putting the aspirin on a nearby bedtable.

“So how does the massaging work?” She asks, lying on her side.

“I can’t imagine your muscles would be super different than mine in the abdomen area, or near your hips, so I’d basically be kneading them and have pressure on them until your muscles stop killing you.”

“Not sure if that’ll work, seeing as the pain comes from, um…actually, nevermind, go ahead and try it. It’s worth a shot.”

You raise an eyebrow at her, wondering what she would’ve said had she not cut herself off, but you don’t push it. “Ok, first, you have to come out here so I can massage you.”

“Oh! No, you can just come in here. That’s why I made room for you.” Victoria replies, shifting to give you more than enough room. Hesitant, you climb in, feeling far less claustrophobic than you were expecting to feel. It was actually pretty roomy.

“Huh, it’s warm in here.”

“Yes, well, it has to be. I really don’t like blankets unless I need to use them.” She explains, shrugging. “So what do you want me to do?”

“You should…uh…” Positioning was going to be a toughie, wasn’t it? “Lay on your stomach. I think I can reach you the best that way without having to sit on your tail.”

She hummed, complying with your command. Gently, you lifted up her shirt ever so slightly and began to work your fingers not only on her sides, but also through her lower back. She practically melted with satisfaction.

“Is this helping?”

“Hm…no, not with the cramps, but it’s a very effective distraction.” She replies, muffled by her arms.

“I guess that’s good, but I’d actually like to help you get rid of your pain so you can get back to work.” You say, thinking out loud a little. “Can you think of anything else that might work?”

You could feel her tense under your fingers, “Ah, no. Nothing you could do, I’m sure.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” She sits up, moving her away from you. “The only time I was truly able to get rid of the pain was when I had a girlfriend. She and I…um..remember when I said I could only lay in things?”

“Yeah? I don’t see- ooooh.” Now it all made sense.

She needed someone to lay her eggs in. She needed to have sex to actually get rid of the pain.

“Yeah, oh.” Victoria said, not making eye contact. “I don’t think you’d want to do that, it’s really unnatural for some and even if it wasn’t, you’re-”

Despite your consciousness telling you not to do so, you cut her off. “I’d probably be ok with it.”

She looked at you with wide eyes. “What?”

“I-I mean…” Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. What were you doing? “I’m not against it, it doesn’t seem bad. If you’re ok with it, that is.”

She gave you a stern, serious look, not unlike the one she gave you when you first met. “You’re completely serious about this?”

Letting out a bit of a nervous laugh, you bring your hand to the back of your neck. “I-I can’t say it was a joke, but if you don’t want to, we can always forget about it and I can just take the computer and leave.”

Silent, she seems to think deeply about your offer. It takes everything you have to not bolt out of the tent and lock yourself in your room, but after what seems like centuries, she speaks up.

“I think I’d be fine. Just don’t tell Violet, it might void our contract. I’ll have to find out later.”

Oh shit, she was actually on board. “A-alright, agreed.”

After a second of hesitance, she moves up to you, looking you up and down once before finally putting a hand under your chin and bringing you into a kiss. You hadn’t kissed anyone in so long, you felt a small voice in the back of your head yell about your own self consciousness, but it was quickly quashed when you felt your back hit soft pillows, her hands roaming up your shirt.

“Can I take this off of you?” She asks, her voice holding a sort of tone you’d never expect to hear from her.

“Sure, it’s all yours.” You reply, trying to be causal but dimly realizing what those words imply. God, is there a moment you couldn’t be awkward here?

Victoria really didn’t seem to mind, though. Taking off your shirt, she blinks a little as she looks at you, mistified.

“Oh, wow.”

“What?”

“You…have boobs.”

You let out a little laugh, amused by her thought. “Uh, yeah? People have those.”

“I don’t.”

Now it was your turn to blink. “Oh?”

Nodding, she took off her own shirt (or was it a dress? You could never tell, seeing as she can’t wear any sort of bottoms, ever.) and gestured towards her own chest. It was as flat as a cutting board.

“I guess that makes sense, seeing as…you don’t really need boobs with eggs and all.”

She shrugs, taking a quick glance towards your own before tearing her eyes away. “True, but I always thought they looked nice.”

You hummed, blushing a little when you realize it was a compliment. “I’ll take this off then, let you have a better look.”

Unclipping your bra, you let yourself relish as she turned a bit redder than she already was.

“Um, thanks.” She replied, her voice small. She was always so decisive and confident, you couldn’t help but feel a little amused by the fact she couldn’t seem to decide if she wanted to stare or not. Looks like you were going to have to make the decision for her.

Taking her hand, you led her hand to your chest, letting a smile play onto your lips. “I’m surprised you’re blushing this hard, you’ve had a girlfriend before, right?”

Realizing she had permission to touch you, she curiously felt you in her hands. “Yeah, but she was also a mutant, so…”

Ah, that made sense. You couldn’t help but shiver when her thumb brushed over your nipple, slightly ashamed of the fact that you could feel heat pooling near your thighs.

“How sensitive are you there?” She asks, continuing to make slow circles around your nipple with her thumb.

“Very.” You replied, feeling yourself relax a little. Not satisfied yet, she slowly drags her hands down your body and rests them just above your hips, realizing there was one more blockade in the way.

“Do you want to-” “Yes.”

Startled by your answer, she seems more than happy to unbutton your jeans and throw them aside, leaving you only in your underwear. You are so glad you wore your good pair today.

“Oh, they’re wet.” She noted, taking a hand and feeling the front. You took a small breath in, your body flinching with being touched the slightest bit. “That’s normal?”

You nod, “Normal.”

Content with your answer, she fiddles with the front of your underwear a little more before delicately taking them off, exposing you.

“I never thought you’d grow hair down here either…” Victoria says, more curious than anything. “Maybe I should stop studying predators and start studying humans. This is far more interesting.”

“You think?” You reply, a little embarrassed by her commentary. It wasn’t bad, but you’d never been looked at so closely before…not by anyone other than a doctor, that is. You really jumped when she placed her and against you, fingers separating the lips of your pussy and exploring. Your hands shot to your face as you let out a little noise, making her look at you.

“Is this ok?”

“M-mhm. I just…jeez, this is new.”

“True…for the both of us.” Victoria replies. Her hands aren’t doing much except explore until her fingers run across your clit. The noise that you make in response is obscene.

“Oh? Is this also sensitive?” She asks, using her fingers to tease it. You can’t reply, covering your mouth to muffle your moans and whines while trying (and failing) to resist the urge to buck up into her hand.

A sly grin shows up on her face, practically drinking up your reaction. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Listen, it’s- oooOooh shit ok that’s happening.” You protest, only to feel her slip a finger inside you. “Ok, cool, that’s my- oh god.”

“I know what it is, don’t worry. I learned that much in school, and from the internet.” She says, quickly finding your g-spot and rubbing it. “Who do you take me for?”

Your mind is going a bit too fuzzy to form a reply, enjoying her fingers way too much. When she adds a third, you can’t stop yourself from coming right then and there. It had been a while, so it was no surprise you only lasted a short while.

Victoria didn’t seem to really care. “I think that’s enough, don’t you?”

“Enough for…” You breathe, a little tired from it all. “Oh.”

Positioned right near your entrance, her ovipositor waits for your permission to move inside you. It was long, and reddish in color, and it kind of scared you but…it also excited you. You had no idea what this would feel like.

“Slowly, please.”



“Right.” She nods, and gently brings herself in. She feels way thicker than she looks, and your breath hitches a little when you feel her tail wrap around your leg instinctively.

“You’re feeling ok?” She asks, her voice a little breathy.

“Mhm, it’s fine.” That was an understatement. “You can start…um..”

She didn’t need you to say it out loud. Pinning you down gently, she begins to thrust in and out of you. It’s slow, but your body soon gives in to her size and allows her to move faster. Between your own natural body fluids and the ones she was creating, you were slick enough to move at a steady pace while still feeling the friction of her ovipositor rubbing against your g-spot. You were so close to your peak, the noises you made were loud enough to make covering them up futile. She was fucking you so hard you could feel yourself displacing the pillows nearby. This was too good to be real.

Then again, she was a mutant, what were you expecting?

Clenching around her, you felt your vision go white as your orgasm hit you. You were only dimly aware of the fact that she wasn’t finished with you yet as you came down from your high, her pace beginning to become messy as she approached her own peak. Coming deep in you, you could feel something fill you up, heavy and thick. When she pulled out, you could just see a small trail of come follow her ovipositor until she resheathed herself, as if it had never been there at all.

Both of you breathing hard, she takes the time to quickly rearrange the pillows before moving you to a more comfortable spot and laying beside you. Her tail had not yet let go of your leg, but you didn’t particularly mind.

“So…feeling better?” You ask, exhaustion settling in.

A laugh bubbles on her lips, “Yes, definitely. Thank you.”

“Mhm, not a problem.” You replied, finally letting yourself drift off to sleep. Last thing you can recall is the dull feeling of Victoria bringing you close to her, her arm wrapped around you.

-

(hey yall! you can call me O if you’ve never seen any of my submissions before. next chapter will involve egg laying, so this isn’t the end of the story! but until the next chapter is posted, feel free to read any of my other stuff @or-beez . thanks!)

anonymous asked:

Hey! I saw that one request of the chocobros' S/O turns into a child and i it got me wondering if you know any HC or something between the line but of the chocobros turning into childs

I have been looking forward to this one! Like OMG, this is going to be so much fun. Makes me wish I could draw, so you could see what my mind sees for the boys as babu’s.

I shouldn’t have had as much fun as I did with the Noctis and Ignis ones.

~~~~~

“Y/N!”

You gasped, turning as you saw the smoke rush past you, then cover the being behind. You glanced down expecting to see yourself as a toad, or covered in slime, yet you were perfectly fine. It didn’t work on you, did the affiliation not work on females? Lucky you!

“Is he okay?”

You gave a groan, before slowly turning around, eyes widen at your boyfriend. Well your cute little pint sized boyfriend…

You heard yourself mutter, “Shiva have mercy on me.”

~~~~~

Noctis

“Noctis, Noct, wake up sweetie.” You cooed, shaking the tiny Prince asleep besides you in one of your crop tops, curled to your chest, who you could only guess was maybe 4 at the very most. He had slept all night, but every book you had pulled out told you that you had another 32 hours of your boyfriend being stuck ‘chibi-fied’ as Prompto stated.

Those beautiful blue eyes popped open, as the little Prince looked to you laying beside him in the grand hotel bed. Only to squeeze close as he pushed the blankets over his head, letting out a whine. “No.”

“Come on baby.” You called, managing to pull him up the bed, actually rather easy considering when he went limp now, it was just like picking up your suitcase. “Let’s get you washed up.”

“Still a lump in the morning.” Prompto chuckled from the other side of the bed, attempting to get his hair into the typical ‘Chocobo’ style.

“Basically.” You giggled. Lucky for you, your Noctis was rather easy going, and mostly slept while you got him ready. “So squeaky clean, kisses.”

This always seemed to get Noctis perky as he bounced up placing his hands on your cheeks, as he pressed a kiss to your lips.

“Thank you, my Prince.” You’d coo.

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anonymous asked:

I love your blog! Do you have any make up tips or advice for someone just starting to use it? Things like essentials or tutorials and what to avoid. I'm extremely new to it.

I am also somewhat new to makeup (my mother literally never wore any when I was growing up) so everything that I’m recommending on this post is based off of personal experience. I have extremely oily skin and focus all of my attention and helping keep my skin as clear as possible, so most of my recommendations are for products of that nature.

I highly recommend subscribing to Birchbox to try out new products. You fill out a profile listing your skin and hair types, and let them know what you’re looking to accomplish beauty wise. They send you wonderful samples each month, generally these are large enough for multiple uses. They will occasionally send you bullshit samples (I personally do not care about cheap perfumes) but it’s 90% awesome products. 

Regardless, I hope you find this helpful! And thanks for the love. :)

1. Skin Type. Skin types are generally: oily/acne-prone, dry, sensitive, or a combination. Try to avoid using products that don’t suit your skin type, chain drugstores such as CVS and Rite Aid generally do a good job at stocking a variety of products (and there’s always Amazon). If you don’t know your skin type, start out using products for sensitive skin and see how they work for you.

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2. Lotion. There are all sorts of different types of moisturizing lotions for every different part of your body. Although it may seem tempting, don’t ever use hand & body lotion on your face. You know how the corporations love to make us spend money! I recommend:

  • Jason: I love this facial lotion! It’s for sensitive skin and smells incredible.
  • SheaMoisture: This facial lotion is perfect for oily/combination skin.
  • Bath & Body Works: My absolute favorite hand & body lotion. Smells incredible and makes my skin so smooth.
  • Gold Bond: This is a great unscented body lotion.
  • Coconut Oil 101: For those of you who prefer more natural products.

3. Exfoliate. Make sure you exfoliate at least once a week! This promotes healthy skin cell growth and makes your skin feel incredible. I recommend:

4. Concealers/foundation! Ideally you’re looking for something that doesn’t doesn’t feel “heavy” or “sticky” on your face. If you’re uncomfortable using brushes, you can use clean, dry hands to gently pat concealer into place.

5. Eye Makeup. I was going to write a bit about applying eye makeup, but this is a pretty in-depth guide that covers the basics based on eye shape. Also: what color eyeshadow you should be wearing. I recommend:

  • Maybelline: These can get $$ but last literally forever.

6. Lipstick. Lipstick is unfortunately not something I can advise you on, because I do not wear it. I do, however, wear tinted chapstick which I absolutely love. Fortunately lipstick is covered in several of the guides I linked to down below.

7. Facial Wipes. These are a great way to remove makeup, excess oil, dirt, etc from your face. I recommend:

  • Garnier: For oily skin.
  • Burt’s Bees: For dry/sensitive skin.
  • SheaMoisture: Just because I would jump off a cliff if SheaMoisture told me it was good for my skin.

8. Nail Polish. If you can afford it, get your nails professionally done for $25 every two weeks (gel polishes last the longest). Most nail polish brands that you can purchase online or in a store for relatively inexpensive will last you a week tops. This is unfortunate, but the price we pay for our beauty. Here are some inexpensive brands that I enjoy:

  • Sally Hansen: I wear this brand in black every single day of my life and LOVE it. This is the longest lasting nail polish brand I have found thus far.
  • Wet N’ Wild: These are super inexpensive and relatively easy to find. Also- that name tho.
  • Essie: If you can afford it, turn to Essie for long lasting polish! This is the nail polish I will buy when I have the money to afford it.

9. Face Mask. I am OBSESSED with face masks. Literally. I just love the way they feel and how they make my skin super smooth and soft. I do two a week, which is not recommended for all skin types. If you have sensitive skin or dry skin, one a week should be plenty. I recommend:

  • Peel Off: This is a less extreme (and much less expensive) version of the blackhead mask you see heavily advertised on social media. It does make your skin feel incredible, but it doesn’t really help whiteheads or plain old acne the way mud masks do.
  • I use this mud mask every week. I bought it last August and still have about half a jar left. So incredible, so beneficial (for my skin at least), and does visibly reduce acne.
  • If you live near a CVS stop by. They actually make decent masks that are super inexpensive. The one problem I find with these masks is that they aren’t very thick. I like thick.
    DIY Banana Face Mask

Additional Resources

Coconut Oil 101

Makeup For Beginners

Makeup For Beginners 2

Makeup Tips From a Makeup Artist

Makeup Tips For Folks With Sensory Issues

Nails

This Masterpost

@howtogrowthefuckup’s Tips

Life of the Zodiacs #3 (unedited)

Missed The Last Chapter? Read it Here :)

thank you to @kaylaofcastaway @books-beast-and-readerry and @azurekid for helping me edit and/or cowrite chapter 3!


“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!”

Cancer groaned from being woken up so abruptly and rubbed her eyes, “What time is it?”

“Pancake time!” Aries and Pisces cheered and pulled the half asleep redhead out of bed.

They dragged her into the kitchen only to find that it was no longer empty as it had been five minutes earlier. Capricorn sat at the table with a steaming cup of coffee reading the newspaper, Aquarius was laid out on the couch watching the news with Virgo, and Libra was sitting next to them, but she was much more concerned with whatever was happening on her phone than the tv.

“Where’s Taurus?” Aries looked around for her food enthusiast friend. “I totally thought she would’ve woken up earlier if it meant she got Cancer’s rockin’ pancakes.”

“Sagittarius texted she’s still asleep,” Libra updated the small group.

Aries frowned, “What about Leo?”

“Ya, I wouldn’t expect him for a little while,” Libra spoke without looking up from her phone. “It takes him forever to get ready. Oh, and Sagittarius says he’ll be here when pancakes are ready.”

“I guess I better start making them then,” Cancer yawned and began searching for bowls.

Pisces plopped down in a chair across Capricorn, “You know, with Taurus being an actual chef and all you’d think she’d at least help you out.”

However, everyone seemed to have forgotten that a crucial part of making pancakes was missing, except for Capricorn who was smirking in his chair waiting for them all to realize what he’d already known since the night before.

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Bakugou and his dads

Still not a dream daddy post.

Midoriya is far from the only character who gets a lot of mentoring help throughout the BnHA series.
So let’s talk about Bakugou for a(nother) moment, shall we?

I don’t know what it is about middle school in Japan, but it seems to really suck?
In every high school anime I watch, all the drama always happens in middle school, and the teaching staff is highly lax, if not completely irresponsible. They certainly didn’t do much to quell a young Bakugou’s more violent tendencies, or help a young Midoriya with what is very obviously a bullying problem.
It’s fairly safe to say that until he goes to UA, Bakugou basically lacks in authority figures, which is one (not all) of the reasons he got to act as bad as he did.

Since the start of the series, he’s gotten a bit better.
So let’s examine his dads (and one mum).
 

How to contain an explosion

The first time we see an actual authority figure reign in Bakugou, is when he hits UA.
And in this case you can take that quite literally.  

That person is, of course, Aizawa.
Now I friggin love Aizawa because he is one of the most underrated characters in the series and I will shout that to the rooftops for all eternity
but also,
Aizawa is, for his students and specifically for Bakugou, a constant source of lowkey support.
His teaching method is very much hands-off, letting his students make mistakes and figure out solutions for themselves, which seems to be the go-to for all anime mentors everywhere, but his support is definitely there.
Because, and this is important, he looks beyond posing. Beyond attitudes and images.
He has reason to, of course. Aizawa looks and acts like a drunken hobo half the time, but he is actually one of the better teachers and heroes as UA. He knows a thing or two about appearances.

And honestly, it is very much needed.
UA and the entirety of the story are, remember, utterly brutal to Bakugou and his self-esteem. It’s a pretty classic ‘break him down before you can build him up’ sort of theme.
But Aizawa is not part of this.
He restrains the kid exactly twice. Once, when he was about to (possibly) murder Midoriya, and a second time when he was blatantly breaking UA rules.
Aizawa does not belittle Bakugou, he does not fear him and most of all, he does not underestimate him.

He knows him, advises him.
He defends him.

He will scold him, but mostly he has a certain amount of respect for the kid. He trusts him.

I think for Bakugou that is incredibly important. Because Aizawa is someone he respects. Here is a pro hero who has taken the time to get to actually know him.


Aizawa is someone who puts down clear boundaries and then gives him the freedom to stay within them.
Whether out of disinterest or fear, that middle school teacher way back in the first episode wasn’t even trying to stop him from hurting Midoriya. That sort of shit would not fly in Aizawa’s class. But he’s also not going to lay it out for him. 
He trusts that Bakugou will, in fact, sort himself out. Once your core is on the right track, the rest will follow.

We are shown, in a very real way, that this is how you get the best results with Bakugou.
Horikoshi does this by showing us how NOT to do it.
For instance, while Best Jeanist certainly has the intentions and the authority as a Pro Hero to mentor him, he goes about it all wrong.

Because what he does is exactly that: micromanage, completely make over the outside, not the inside.

You can’t just expect the kid to change his entire being like that.
Certainly not because it’s fairly clear that Best Jeanist, well-meaning as he is, is not exactly trying to understand Bakugou.

Manga spoilers under the cut

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