it just hit me that lance most likely doesn’t even remember actually shooting sendak at all. his “apparently” automatically turns this statement into that of a third person account, the words of someone who wasn’t there to actually witness the event itself. not to mention the fact that his recollection of the encounter is different than what actually happened, which would make sense if all he knew about that moment was what was told to him by 4 different people who experienced it differently during a hectic situation.
lance has been shown on multiple occasions to doubt his abilities when the upmost trust is placed upon them. we’ve seen it on beta traz and with the mermaids. it’s not so far out of left field to think that he has doubts as to whether or not he actually did what the team told him he did.
lance was one of the most essential aspects of their victory that night, and he doesn’t even genuinely believe it happened.