Wildlife is just a fact of life, in Australia. Some will kill you on sight, some are just chilling, some you might piss off by accident… but mostly, you all exist in harmony.
But then you run into something injured and needs help; and you'e able to save it. Sniper’s good at that. Animals, that is.
Animals, he’s good with; they like him, no matter how poisonous or lethal, and he likes them back. Tends to give them embarrassingly cute names, you know, how some people do with pets?
Fluffball the Dropbear, Beaky-boy the Cassowary, Lil’ Mate the Kangaroo…
Finding and adopting animals is what he DOES by accident, it’s like a fucking superpower.
And of course, no one on base knows about it… except Scout.
Well, not in a proper way, at least.
Engie DID catch the lanky bastard in the kitchen one night feeding bacon rashers to what he THINKS was a baby alligator… but the Texan rationalised he’d just hallucinated it… because Stretch’d never do that, right?
Soldier has his raccoons. Demo… has an inkling but if Sniper isn’t saying it, then he won’t either. Medic has his birds, and Heavy never seems to notice the occasional extra animal on base (or, more likely, in the van).
Pyro… no one knows.
Spy… has no clue, and Snipes loves that. He’s going to use it against the guy at some point.
But Scout… learned the hard way that Sniper is a goddamn dangerous animal magnet. His family’s big, and money is tight, pets were out of the question.
He had a few impromptu ones… like the pigeons that nested on their windowsill once a year, (named BigBoy and Shirley, for no real reason other than he was eight the first time he was them and making up names is hard. Or the family of squirrels in the garden across the road he could occasionally tempt into playing with him… their names were even worse.
Actually, he might have snuck one onto base when no one was looking… or rather, the little guy came with and Scout didn’t realise until he was halfway to base again. Chucklenuts was his little secret with sniper; although he got the feeling either medic or engie knew, because he ‘found’ a timed feeder outside his room the day after they got back.
His room was now 10% scout mess, and 90% chucklenuts-got-bored-of-the-maze-you-made-him-today mess.
It started as a head canon about Cleo and turnd into a story oops
It gets a little meta, sorry not sorry
“Ghoulia, please enlighten me, again, as to why you’ve dragged me to Skullmart at 11pm on a Saturday?” Cleo pouted as Ghoulia, moving at a very un-Ghoulia like haste, pulled her through the cavernous store to the back. She pinched a piece of material on a muumuu on display and flinched, muttering “They don’t even have decent clothes here”
“Mmmmmmmmmrrrrg mmmmmrrrnnnnnnnnnn…. ” Her zombie bestie moaned. In zombish, she patiently explained (for the third time) that she had established via extensive research that this was the precise time the 24-hour mega mart stocked its shelves, specifically in the toy section, thus providing her with a shot at getting the newest Deadfast action figures, the ones they just released in conjunction with the new animated series..