*rolls around quietly on Isabela, Merrill and Anders feelings*
Merrill is so good and she has such a good heart?
And she wants so desperately to save this one relic of what the Dalish used to be
And she’s willing to take her own risks and pay her own prices and she knows damn well what she’s gotten herself into
And she tries so hard and just can’t predict how the others will react.
And she makes mistakes because of it and she still believes in second chances and in people and she’s so kind to Anders and Fenris even when they’re awful to her, because she believes in them and she knows what they’ve come through.
And so much has gone wrong for her but she still sees the beauty in everything.
And Isabela! Isabela who believes in freedom and has been through so much. Isabela who closes off, trying to protect herself, because she’s seen what happens when you don’t
Isabela who knows who she is and who embraces her mistakes and who fucks and drinks and fights and will not fucking be shamed for any of it (and shouldn’t be) and who believes in finding your own way and making your own decisions
(And who is goddamn hilarious too like oh my god, I have so much fun with her and my purple Hawkes. Like I don’t rival b/c it comes off as like super judgey of her choices to me and I am not about that but there are some definite lines with really unclear summaries that have caused reloads and while it can’t be in my canon b/c it gets like ridic amounts of rivalry I can’t stop fucking laughing at “I always knew you had a heart of gold. We just have to dig it out and sell it.” Because I mean, she does have a heart of gold, she really does, she is good and she is kind and she’s had to do some terrible things to survive for which I do not judge her but she hasn’t let any of it steal away that good heart)
And she’s slow to love and slow to trust for good reasons but goddammit if you stand by her she will stand the fuck by you in the end. She can’t help it, not even when she knows this book in her arms could buy her freedom
(And her interactions with Merrill oh my god. Literally the only Companion I can think of who I have never once wanted to smack upside the head over at least one potential line about Merrill and just. ‘Because you have a good heart and you deserve better’ and she treats Merrill like a fucking adult, because she is, and she’s the only fucking one to walk up Sundermount with you and Merrill in the end and ask “Are you sure?” but support her no matter what.)
And Anders. Anders. I mean we all know how much I love him but I just.
Anders the runaway, Anders the rebel, Anders the symbol of revolution.
Anders in Awakening the ‘not nearly as selfish as he likes to think’, seizing his chance at freedom again and again but when you let him go he comes back to fight darkspawn with you, no matter the risk. Who speaks up if you decide to burn Amaranthine, who plays at cowardice and self preservation and hides his pain with bad jokes and who knows how fragile his position is and how few people get to run away as many times as he has, who knows from a fucking year in that cell with no one but a cat what they have already done to him.
Who banters with Justice about the impossibility of more rebellion than this. Who comes to wonder if he really can do something, who sees that the Templars will never stop coming after him, who is so fucking angry at what has been done, to him and to Circle mages everywhere.
Anders who sets up a Clinic in Darktown, who loses the man he thought he could run away with, who is bright and bitter and jagged at the edges, who is mentally ill in unpretty ways and who I don’t always agree with but goddammit who burns with passion and belief and love brighter than any sun and who does not has not will never submit.
And I love them all so fucking much.