theres like no one online right now

I haven’t changed my style of dressing since 2009 and i’m thinking maybe i should?

so I went through an online store and picked out everything I’d love to wear and the total came to the equivalent of $293 and on one hand i’m like wooooah no fucking way man that is way too much money

but on the otherhand, I haven’t updated my wardrobe since 2009 and when i buy clothes i basically don’t stop wearing them until they have holes in them so if I treat this like an investment for the next half a decade then it’s not too bad …

but also omfg that’s a lot of money

舍不得 (Reluctantly)
黄子韬
舍不得 (Reluctantly)

《舍不得》(Reluctantly) by Huang Zitao
Song and lyrics by Huang Zitao

Translation:

Look at the pointer turning, it’s counting down the time
The time we spent together is slowly slipping away
Recording your every movement and sound
I’ll never forget or delete it

The moment that I boarded the plane
those tears that couldn’t be stopped
In this moment they still came(1)
My heart hurts so, so much

Don’t regret loving you, don’t want you to waste away
My heart’s always missing you, don’t care how far it is I want to go there
I want so badly to return to the day that we first met
But I can only watch the memories we’ve kept…

RAP:
Return anew to the reality
You told me before we wouldn’t have a result
You were right, but I couldn’t control it
I’d rather not have those results
Because I had you I understood that this is love
Very happy, got it? Got it?(2)
Only when I’m together with you would I freely enjoy life, got it?
But really, all of our experiences will disappear like foam, got it?
Even if it’ll turn to foam I’ll still love you
I’d rather have our final farewell, I still won’t choose to gie up, I’ll never not treasure you
Because of you this song exists, I know for sure you’re listening.

What the future will become I don’t care what it becomes, as long as you’re happy it’s all fine
Meet someone that loves you more, replace me and grow old together
Preserve that smile of yours, that cuteness, ok?
That’s my only request

Don’t regret loving you, don’t want you to waste away
My heart’s always missing you, don’t care how far it is I want to go there
I want so badly to return to the day that we first met
But I can only watch the memories we’ve kept…

Ah… Ah…

What the future will become I don’t care what it becomes, as long as you’re happy it’s all fine
Meet someone that loves you more, replace me and grow old together
Preserve that smile of yours, that cuteness, ok?
That’s my only request

Don’t regret loving you, don’t want you to waste away
My heart’s always missing you, don’t care how far it is I want to go there
I want so badly to return to the day that we first met
But I can only watch the memories we’ve kept…

(1) This phrase can be interpreted two ways; if connected with the line “these tears that can’t be stopped” then the interpretation is as I’ve written, emphasizing that he didn’t want to cry but the tears still came.
If you interpret it as a separate phrase, the meaning becomes “this moment still came” instead, indicating that the moment of leaving was something he’d tried to avoid, but was inescapable in the end.

(2) The literal translation here is more like “Understand?” “Do you get it?” something along those lines, but very informal. It’s the equivalent of “capiche?” So it’s been shortened to “Got it?” in this translation.

If you have any further questions, feel free to ask!

Pinyin and original characters under the cut

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It sucks that people who have been raised and socialized as women and experience all the misogyny and sexism that women experience and are continuously forced to play the role of women and treated like women, but who are trans and are not women, have to leave female spaces and stop seeking the support and kinship that women get to have with one another.

They still deal with all the bullshit of being seen as women and having at one point lived as women, but don’t get any help or encouragement for how hard that is anymore.

They just kind of have to hoof it alone and stop participating in the dialogues that continue to affect them whether they want them to or not.

I’m not saying that non-women belong in female spaces, I don’t think that’s true either, but just that it sucks a lot to lose your support system for stuff that still hurts and still fucks you over all the time.