theres beer

2

Prison Break AU in which Teddy and John end up as drinking buddies.

“hold my beer and watch this” species:

  • humans
  • turians
  • salarians
  • quarians
  • vorcha

“guys what the fuck that’s a terrible idea” species:

  • asari
  • hanar
  • drell
  • volus

species who alternate between the two above options, depending on situation:

  • batarians
  • krogan
  • elcor
  • geth

most scientific progress comes about from both salarians and quarians being of the “watch this” persuasion. the turian-volus alliance maintains stability by the calmer volus balancing out their more excitable turian counterparts.

in its initial composition of asari and salarians, the citadel council was evenly balanced. however, once turians and later humans were added, the asari councilor was heard to state they were “surrounded by morons” with increasing frequency.

3

Farmer Sage interacting with the locals lol

Halloween with Molly and Moriarty👿
  • Molly : We are throwing a Halloween party in the mansion. Its gonna be the greatest thing ever....
  • James : Someone will die.
  • Molly : Of fun!
  • James : And of MURDER.
  • Molly : There's going to be beer, pumpkins....
  • James : Bloody goblins.
  • Molly : Fake ones! Its gonna be awesome. We have decorations...
  • James : Dead people we just murdered.
  • Molly : Not murdered, but pictures of dead people from TV or movies.
  • James : Mutilated bodies.
  • Molly : But fake ones. Candy, dancing, tequila. All kinds of food and snacks...
  • James : Blood orphans.
  • Molly : No blood orphans. I..I don't even know what that is.

“Juliet, our love can never be…..your father collects cigarette packets, while mine collects computer game packaging.”

– Romeo & Juliet, Act II, scene I (first draft)

Hockey little league AU

Every fandom has that one specific Kid AU, and this time it’s coming from yours truly. I’m talking little league Samwell so you better sit down and listen to all the shaenigans the Samwell Squad would get up to, because I’ve thought about this a whole lot, and @itsybittle forced me to share


  • Tiny Toddler Bitty following  annoyed Jack everywhere but Jack secretly loves it so much 
  • Jack ending up doing all these things for Bitty bc he’s more grown up, like tying his shoes and everything and just really being into taking care of Bitty 
  • Jack holding Bitty’s hand because otherwise he wanders
  • also Tiny Tomboy Lardo deciding that no, mum, she doesnt want to play but she has to be at every single practice of this team and also she is the new manager u wouldnt understand
  • Tomboy Lardo with long hair hating it so, so, so much , wearing dresses because her mum likes her girl - meeting shitty, the boy with the buzzcut, fleeing whenever his ma comes at him with scissors
  • Lardo getting shittys clothes and walking around like she wants because all the boys chip in and now she’s mostly wearing multiple sweaters in different sizes, like, all the time
  • Shitty one day stealing his dads electric razor, bc he has seen his dad do this, okay, Lardo, dont worry your hair will turn out fine!!!! 
  • Shitty being actually the first of the guys to ever have a crush on anyone and while love is icky, lardo is definetly not so everyone approves and they pick daisys together to get shitty to confess
  • JUST. TEAM NAP TIMES. Ransom and Holster sharing blankets. Senor Bunny never leaving Bitty’s side
  • THE TEAM MAKING GIANT BLANKET FORTS (jack, obviously is the prince in these.)
  • bby chowder stealing hearts left and right. while shitty is the first in love, he is the first one with a teeny fierce girlfriend at his side
  • johnson the metaphysical second grader 
  • Johnson obviously would freak everyone else out bc while he still was being goofy, he also got so serious sometimes
  •  ThE PARENTS !!! ACTUALLY!! INTERACTING WITH EACH OTEHR 
  • rad bob and the dad squad feat, Suzanne and the wine mums
  • Alicia and suzanne are obviously besties but suzanne is for reasons that are only mine not only completely smitten by jack, but by shitty as well
  • Also all the parents are appaled by their kids calling shitty “shitty” , kids that is NOT his name . 
  • Bitty dragging Senor Bunny by one ear, rubbing his sleepy eyes and holding Jack’s hand!!!! 
  • Bilingual baby jack confusing words and speaking a weird mix of both languages
  • him being called “mon petit chou”
  • jack calling senor bunny “monsieur lapin”
  • Bitty trying to imitate his pronouncing and pronouncing stuff like he does
  • ive included shared nap times but??? CUDDLE PILES???
  • also shity still walks around naked all the time but hes a kid and not ashamed, unlike his parents who are bitterly trying to loose that weird habit
  • the boys not getting gender roles and gender types at all, standing in for lardo with her ugly chopped off hair and her awesome attitude
  • also while theres no beer pong lardo still beats everyone at every single game ever
  • Birthday parties are therefore a total delight and not at all a war
  • Bitty baking his first pie in his easy bake oven. bitty always bringing pies to birthdays
  • BITTY STILL BURNING STUFF BUT AT LEAST THE PREVIOUS SUNSHINE IS TRYING OKAY HE IS TRING SO HARD 
  • jack and the team eating every last bit of the burned desserts bc they are kids, its bitty, and as long at it contains sugar they will , in fact, be happy
  • ARTSY LARDO!!! FINGERPAINT!!! CRAYONS!! NO SPACE IS SAFE; ALL THE CLOTHES ARE DIRTY AF; ALL THE WALLS ARE COVERED IN SUNS AND STARS AND CLOUDS AND SMILING FACES
  • william poindexter, my lovely child inviting everyone on the shrimp boat hes been “working” on since ever
  • nursey, the most well liked kid on the playground bc, damn, hes so chill, so cool. so . damn. 
  • Ransom and holster - competitive rope skippers 
  • bby chowder worshipping lardy lards bc he tots sees her as his big sis
  • JUST
  • JUST THE TEAM BEING HAPPY
  • NO ANGST
  • never
  • ONLY HAPPYNESS

Me and Itsybittle actually have a ton more of these , because these are only the ones we came up with in, like, the first five messages we send to each other, but im gonna add those if people want more ^_^

I’ve been watching a lot of survival/camping/bushcraft stuff on youtube lately, and out of morbid curiosity I decided to check the comments on a woman’s video. 

“Wow after all this time i have finally found her, The girl of my dreams, Only problem is i am to old for her now at me being 56, Thats just my luck,,lol   Well at least now i can stop dreaming, or can i?  All jokes a side, nice very nice to see a young woman that can fend for her self, Bravo, Yes two thumbs up for Lilly“

“I think I found the woman I want to marry! lol.“

“If only there were more women like you in the world….“

Then I went to look at more of her videos, some just have comments disabled in general. The first thing on her youtube page is a big disclaimer about how her email is for business only and personal messages will be deleted, I can only imagine what kind of stuff she gets there. More choice comments:

A bottle of BEER?!?!?! Theres no girls like you out there, Lilly!“

“I think I got the hots for Lily. D:“

“Wait wait… there is something not right here. I’m sitting here watching a woman camp in the wild solo, eaten soup an drinking beer AND she’s hot.. When did these genes develop in the female species and why isn’t there more of them?“

All of these comments have a ton of upvotes too. Tomorrow I’m going solo camping for the first time in like 9 years (when I was hit on by a group of guys while I just walking to the bathroom) and I’m more nervous about men than bears. I want to do more hiking and camping, eventually backpacking on the APT, but this is something I really feel. 

(I did check a bunch of comments on videos by men and they’re overwhelmingly just about gear, food, liking the dog, places to travel, etc. Or if there’s a woman in the video… then suddenly it’s about her and not the camping.)