thereluctantrunner

Off topic and personal

Thanks to everybody who reached out yesterday in response to my post about things not being so great; Mrs. RRR and I are going through a rough patch. It sucks.

There’s been no big transgression or anything like that. Instead things have gradually been building - or rather gradually been festering. Small resentments on both sides. I find myself shrinking and she resents the burdens. 

Sometimes I feel I’ve lost every ounce of mojo I ever had. I’ve lost touch with who I am - or was, or whatever. I feel empty. I am empty. And how can you expect someone to love or live with that? You cannot.

I have so much work to do it’s terrifying. Should I be fighting to save us or for me? Maybe in fighting for me I save us. Does that make sense?

I believe it’s worth fighting for us and I believe it’s possible. It’s going to be hard and uncomfortable. But there’s still love and laughter in this house and between the two of us and so there’s hope.

On a somewhat related note, I’ll be offline for the rest of my vacation. 

Thanks for reading. Hugs.

youtube

A video for @thereluctantrunner. Sorry it’s a few days/week late - I couldn’t figure out how to upload the video.

Also for @thoroughlymilly

Also, this is my first video post - be kind.

How quickly our world can change

Tonight on my way home tonight I started scrolling through Tumblr on my phone. I hadn’t refreshed it so I was looking at posts from this morning, which I didn’t realize because I was half paying attention to a conversation further down the bus, and because I was thinking about the awful events of the day.

Until I got to a post … 

“Good Luck Boston Marathoners! …”

It was one of many such posts. I had been kicking myself this morning for starting work without posting something similar to cheer on some awesome tumblrs who were running today.

Doesn’t this morning seem so very far far away?

I’m so happy to see the posts from y'all up north in and around Boston saying you’re OK. I felt sick to my stomach today fearing the worst but praying for good news. So reading posts from each of you was a small but cherished point of light in an otherwise dark afternoon. 

Tonight I’ll pray for those affected, those killed or wounded, and their families. Tomorrow I’ll run my miles for Boston.

Good night Tumblrs. Take care of yourselves. You are much loved.

4

Well, this is quite the overwhelming response to my coffee date post. 

You ladies really want to suffer with me? You’ve been warned. Here goes nothing…

So first, he brought me to the bro-iest of bro bars (and I’ve been trying to avoid this crowd since moving here - part of reason I was happy to leave Boston) but, sure, it was around the corner from my office. 

OH! But the *actual* first part. He was waiting for me to leave my office, so he texted, ‘just found some of my buddies at the bar next door, so no rush! I’ll leave when you get close.’ GOOD, because I didn’t want you to be lonely there for a second.

The rooftop was closed, so we sat downstairs where we could hear zero words each of us said. So, I repeated everything I said, on average, three times. 

He asked the bartender what the Pumpkin beer tasted like.

When he was yelling-talking to me, he managed to spit on me three times. THREE! Three. And, while he was talking, he was so twitchy and bouncy that I wanted to reach over and hold his shoulders down so he wouldn’t fall out of the seat.

His mannerisms oddly (and so clearly) resembled those of the lion from Wizard of Oz. His eyes would open really wide, he would drop his head back, and his head would shake a little bit. Can’t make this shit up, yo.

When I said something that he agreed with, he would aggressively shake his finger towards my face and say, 'YES! OMG YES!’ a million times.

He would ask me a question, I would get two words in and then he would cut me off, because whatever I said prompted some story he wanted to tell me about some place/person/thing that had no relevance to me.

There were four occasions where he would back-hand slap my arm when he was telling me something. I’M ANEMIC, BRO.

My body language could not have been more closed off, so he continued to move closer so he was basically sitting on top of me. 

Then I said I needed to meet my friend to watch the game, so he said he would walk with me. He just needed to “take a quick piss”. 

To round out this wonderful date, the hug had a bit of an ass-graze to it. It was 42 seconds too long, and then his hand swiped right, like he was Tindering my behind.

I think I’m taking a hiatus from dating. This was the icing on the cake.

2

Late night run (got back just before 11 PM) so sweatypic as promised/threatened:

  • Heat Index: 77F
  • Dew point: 74F
  • Humidity: 90%
  • 3 miles in almost exactly 30 minutes. 

It was actually quite nice out - that 7 degree drop in temperature was worth waiting for.

NSV - I finally fit into this running shirt. Well I always fit into it, but I used to completely stuff it and now I’m comfortable with the way I look in it.

So running with form fitting running shirt and compression shorts - Booyahhhhh!

[edit] thereluctantrunner replied to your photosetLate night run (got back just before 11 PM) so…

What man calls it a “top"? :)

OK made it running shirt not top. Thanks RR, I dunno what I was thinking - life surrounded by women I guess :P

Someone seems not-so-Reluctant about spreading holiday cheer

Funny. I don’t think non-crafty people who dislike Christmas card sending use scissors with fancy edges on their cards, adorn envelopes with stickers, or use holiday-themed postage. I’m skeptical of your statement.

Do you ever wonder if anything good comes out of Boston?  Well have a beer!  This beer of the night is one of the Samuel Adams Small Batch Collection.  Tonight I selected The Vixen - Chocolate Chili Bock

Look at that cutie on the label.  She’s got to be wearing yoga pants.

The SA small batch collection has four different beers.  This should tide me over until the end of the world as we know it on Friday, 12/21.

vimeo

Happy (belated) birthday Blog! Thanks to all of you for the support for the last year! Many more to come!

Music: Blessed by a broken heart - I’ve got you.

Tumblr Crushes, annotated:

  • thereluctantrunner - mostly cussing (and spectating like a champ)
  • betternikki - mostly smiling (and having way cuter hair than you)
  • erocksrunning - mostly being a BAMF (and making me pee myself)
  • newidentity-athlete - mostly being a positive ray of golden sunshine (and having the best barbell hickeys)
  • brooksylite - mostly being stronger than everyone ever (also: beer… seriously. 25% of your most recent 2 pages are beer, dude. #classy)
  • robindoesrunning - mostly paying it forward (and apparently never sleeping #gradlife)
  • captainphd - mostly being an asshole (and really? not much else)
  • fat-to-fast - mostly just because I feel bad for her (and sharing burpees, I guess)
  • mr-smit - mostly for being proudly cuddle-free (and for being a handsome devil, even if he doesn’t always see it)

Notably absent: The Jasons (Thing 1, Thing 2).

You’ll always hold a special place in my heart… just not in my crush list, I guess.

P90X Kenpo FTW

Ankles were sore from running last night, so I opted out of the 3 miles tonight for some crosstrainish time. It’s also building the anticipation of seeing how the new shoes will do… :/

For some reason @theruluctantrunner seems to be a little down lately. “Horses ass,” you are not. I hope this will make you feel better… and since I’m “contractually obligated to not post songs for anyone else,” why not post another for her you? It has absolutely nothing to do with anything relevant, just a good song. Plus, it mentions the girl (possibly) being right and the guy (slightly possibly) being wrong - which we (guys) all know is never the case… but I know you girls like to at least hear it. Feel better and pep up chica!

@rfgr26 - I found this on your page… good song! I don’t do it justice, of course, but thanks for posting it!