there-is-no-funnier-thing

things ive heard people say in class:
  • “what if i just straight up break down in class and scare the shit out of ms neo so that she’ll postpone the test?”
  • “is it too early if i have a breakdown in january?” “its the second week, man.” “i know.” 
  • “let’s all just collectively skip the national exams, fuck the system!” *aggressive cheering*
  • in a really choked up voice, “i have rights.”
  • “what if i become a monk? do monks have to take exams?”
  • “in this context, what does ‘rapid’ mean?” “FAST AND FURIOUS”
  • “did y’all do the chem homework?” *collective ‘no’s* “alright, good. nobody be a wimp and do their homework, alright? if we’re fucked, we’re all fucked together.”
  • “wait, you mean to say that this school still teach fun stuff like music??
  • *scandalised gasp* “you stole my circle template’s virginity!” “all i did was hook a finger through one of the holes!” “exactly!” 
  • “i bought this $2 knee guard just because i want to pretend that i’m injured so that i can sit out of PE.” [slides knee guard on] “i have three consecutive tests after this and lord knows i need all the extra study time that i can get.”
  • in an increasingly panicked voice, “i can’t just do my lit homework in 30mins!” “well, i did.” “what did you put for characterisation and further analysis?” “i said the protagonist was a fuckboy, and then proceeded to write 3 paragraphs and a conclusion consisting of utter bullshit on why he’s a fuckboy.”
  • “don’t they call people from Germany, germanese?” said by a top student.
  • “i think i’m a hermaphrodite.”
  • “fuck, i hate this. can i just be an escort? or have like 67 sugar daddies?”
  • in the middle of physics class: “i’m leaving, i’m fucking leaving. i’m going down to the canteen to buy takeouts of 3 fishball noodles. y’all want anything?”
  • “i want the saddest pepe the frog meme you can find as our class logo.”
  • “i found a salsa dip in my bag, anyone have some chips?” [a girl sighs, puts down her calculator and reaches into her sports bag] “i do.”

Christopher Walken:

In the Bond movie I had my hair dyed an impossible yellow color, and that became my motivation in a lot of scenes: I had a secret subtext, which I never discussed with anybody. Every time I had a scene with somebody I’d be thinking: What do you think of my hair? Do you like my hair? Do you like what they did to me? That they made me look like this? So next time you see the movie, every time I torture somebody I’m really thinking, You see what they did to me with this hair?

So I like to think Atem is an early riser and Yugi sleeps in a little bit but probably wakes up like less than an hour after Atem does, but once Atem is out of bed Yugi has a habit of cocooning himself in the blankets which is especially amusing when he rolls out of bed, half awake, only to fall to the floor trapped in a blanket prison that he struggles to get out of.

Meanwhile Atem walks in while brushing his teeth wondering what the noise is and nearly chokes on his toothpaste because he tried to stifle laughing at poor trapped Aibou, and is now dashing for the sink to avoid swallowing said toothpaste while Yugi is rolling around on the floor to escape this blanket hell he got himself into.

Once Atem is composed I can see him doing one of two things:
He either immediately returns to help Yugi, or, he stands there for a moment to tease him before Yugi whines for some kind of assistance, “don’t just stand there, help me!” so he chuckles and helps him out.

3

(x) originally from here

youtube

I made this thing. It was funnier in my head.

Head canon:

Hux forgets his gloves one day so he walks around the ship with his hands shoved into his pockets and every time he’s forced to take them out to like open a door or something he screams in his head until he puts his hands back in his pockets because he’s not used to the cold but kylo reads all his thoughts and he’s like wtf why are you screaming every 20 minutes

@stevvonie and I have made fun of the ending of Halo 5 where the camera just focuses on John’s visor and expects us to get emotional over that, but it’s even funnier because they did the exact same thing in Halo 4

BUT there’s a major difference between these two scenes.

In Halo 5, the scene is like 40 seconds long and nothing happens in it. Blue Team walks out of the Cryptum, walks up to Osiris, John asks Locke where Cortana is and he just replies “she’s gone, sir” (John is probably thinking “wtf man could you be more specific about what ‘GONE’ means???”). Then we get the DRAMATIC VISOR SHOT and then it cuts away to something else.

In Halo 4, the scene is like 3 minutes long. It’s just John and Lasky standing in a room and talking, which is what Halo 4 had in bucket-loads - two or more people talking. This is some Star Trek-level of talky-talk going on by the standards of an FPS, right? These two dudes are looking at Earth talking about how beautiful she is (with obvious reference to Cortana) and Lasky is trying to uncomfortably fill the silence by talking about himself and growing up, and John is trying to spin his rhetoric into what he’s been taught all along about soldiers making sacrifices for the good of humanity, and then Lasky is taken aback by how John seems to be separating soldiers and humanity and tells him that they’re one and the same and that John is no different, which calls back to a line Cortana had earlier in the game about which of the two of them was really a machine, which was the central theme of the entire game *inhales deeply to catch breath*

What I’m trying to get at here is that absolutely nothing is happening in this scene in Halo 4, yet at the same time EVERYTHING is happening beneath the surface. Themes are being drawn together, set-up is being paid-off, perspectives are being challenged and changed, and a very clear trajectory is being set for how this character development is going to pan out.

So when that scene is bookended by the close-shot on John’s visor as he’s staring out at Earth and we hear his inner-monologue, there is a precedent set for me to genuinely feel something. That shot is the culmination of everything that was happening in that scene and there is a sense of “oh wow, where is John going to go from here?”

So like, I look at the shot from Halo 5 and it hits me with comic value more than anything - like John just has ‘hello darkness my old friend’ playing in his head. It reminds me of the ending to Star Trek’s 2009 reboot and Into Darkness, how the voice-over dialogue in the former calls back to the show with the classic “these are the voyages of the starship Enterprise” and you’re excited because everything built up to that dialogue being earned by the narrative. And then in Into Darkness they end it exactly the same way and I don’t know about you but I was grumbling incessantly when they did that because it’s like they just had no clue how to end it so they said “let’s just do that again”. That’s exactly what the close visor shot in Halo 5 feels like.

The next time you watch that scene, remember your ol’ buddy Haruspis’ Three U’s of Halo 5:

Unearned. Unimpressed. Unenthused.