there's only four of them!!!

anonymous asked:

*Epic!Sans comes by and snags a cookie* BRUH!!!!!


Epic!Sans belongs to @yugogeer12

Halloween with BTS
  • Seokjin: Namjoon, we need more candy!
  • Namjoon: What? There's only been like four kids.
  • Seokjin: Yeah I know, but one of them said she loved me and thought I was pretty so I gave her everything.
  • Namjoon:
  • Hoseok: No wonder you've been pregnant so many times

Small Tales from the Borderlands/Doctor Who crossover! :D

Basically… Yeah, I got inspired by Wikipedia xD

Keep reading

Sleeping Around

Warning- STD talk, unsafe sex.
This idea just popped in my head. I have no clue about STD’s. I’ve never had one or knew someone that had gotten one. So if I got somethings wrong. I’m sorry. Plus I really didnt want to look it up, I’m kinda grossed out lol. Also I’m not saying if you have or had a STD then you’re a whore but some how someone got it and it aint by sleeping on someone elses sheets, unless your doing the dance with no pants. lmao.
Thank you, Howard Wolowitz.
Happy Reading Dollies!!

Waiting for your test results was nerve racking. You had been sleeping around ,now your at the clinic  to see if you what or if you had anything.
“Mr. Ortiz, come with me please”. The nurse called you in.
“Shit”. You followed her in to a room.
“So whats the verdict”. Biting your lower lip.
“I’m sorry to tell you”. “You have a STD”.
“Its curable right”? You nervously asked
“Yes somewhat, if you take your medication right and have protective sex”. “We also need a list of your sexual partners in the last two months so we can inform them”.
“Okay, theres only four”.
“Men and women”. She asked
“Just women”. You answered alittle too quickly
“Alright, write them down while I get your prescription”. She walked out of the room. Your hands were sweaty and your mouth dry.
Getting your meds, you drove to TM. Looking around making sure no one was around to ask you where you have been.
Sprinting to your dorm, you were still in the clear. Until…
“Hey Juice, where you been”?
“Oh hey Y/N, I was at the doctors”. You said nervously. Looking around.
“Everything okay”?
“Yeah, just a check up”.
“Making sure jerking off hasnt rubbed you raw”. Y/N laughed.
“Haha”. You laughed nervous. “I gotta go”. You ran off.
“Okay”. “Awkward”.
Closing your door and locking it, you went to the bathroom, reading the intructions and slowly taking the meds. How could you be so stupid for sleeping with someone with out a condom. You thought.
Mean while outside…
“Hey Y/N”.
“Hey Jen”.
“Wheres the hell is Juice”? She asked angryly
“Hes inside”. “Why”?
“I just got a call from my doctors and they told me to come get checked”.
“Checked for what”? Your mouth dropped.
“A STD, Juice might have given me one”.
“Shit, you have got to be kidding me”. You looked at her, worried.
“Tell him if I have it, hes a dead man”.
“Got it, will do that”.
She walked off cussing Juices name.
“Juice you fucking whore”. You stormed inside.
Striding to his dorm, you pounded on his door. “You open this fucking door now JUICE”. You yelled.
“What, what do you want”. He opened the door.
“Jen she came by and told me you gave her a STD, you also have it”.
“Shit, I didnt have it before I slept with Ima”. Juice sat on the bed.
“So Ima gave it to you and to Jen”.
“You are a fucking whore Juan”. “You need to learn to keep your legs closed”. You shook your head.
“I’ve never had a STD before and dont know much about them but how can you catch them”? You asked.
“Mostly sex and fluids”. “Why”? Juice wondered.
“I slept in your bed Juice”. “Oh my god, what if I got it from your sheets”. “I dont know if you washed them after you had sex with her or not”. “Gross, your juices all over the place”. You gagged, panicking
“Y/N calm down you cant get a STD from sleeping on sheets”.
“How the fuck do you know”. “If I catch it I’ll kill you”. You got up slamming the door. You left Juice there beating himself up even worse than before.
“This is why I dont fuck with bitches”. You said as you called your doctor.

Three days later…
Seeing Juice sitting at the bar you went up to him.
“Hey, so do you have it”? He asked not taking his eyes from his beer.
“No, I do not”. You said as you took a seat next to him
“Told you”.
“I’m sorry Juice I dont want Ima dna in me okay”.
Juice laughed.
The clubhouse door flew open. Jax, Tig and Opie came rushing in.
“What the hell is yalls problem”? You shouted.
“That bitch, Ima gave us a STD”. Tig huffed.
“I cant believe you have it too”. You giggled. “I told all of you to stay away from her, now look”.
“What do you mean, you never told us too””. Jax was more mad about I was right then who else has it. You rolled your eyes, nodding your head yes.

”Who else has it Y/N” Tig asked getting aggravated
“Juice has it and so does Jen”.
“Oh god why”. Opie yelled.
“So let me get this straight”. You four slept with her, so that means you slept with each other". “Oh my god thats funny”. You laughed uncontrollably .
“AHH shut up Y/N”. Tig pouted.
“Your all fuck buddies, so does that mean I might find you in a closet somewhere making out”. You busted out laughing
“Y/N if you dont shut up about this, you’ll get it”. Jax warned you.
“Sorry I dont fuck STD ridden whores like yall four did”. “My lips are sealed, both lips”. You looked around at the guys groaning. You laughed shaking your head at how dumb these boys are.

Star Trek: Temporal

While peace has kept the Alpha Quadrant quiet over the 29th Century a new threat is emerging from the future; a race called the Knowun has started going back in time to erase events throughout the Federation’s history. In response Starfleet opens up a new division, the Temporal Division, whose job is to travel through time and find temporal anomalies and erosions where events should not have occurred or would have been catastrophic and find out as much as they can about the Knowun. Among the ships commissioned is the USS Deviation, lead by Kass Sisko and formed from the best and brightest of Starfleet. Their first mission may seem simple enough to investigate temporal signatures in the 26th Century but they’re about to become the most crucial piece in keeping the Federation from unraveling through time.

Keep reading

Against all odds, I actually had a LOVELY time with my in-laws today! 😊

The road to get there was perfect, all small roads and going through sunny woods, it felt like going on holiday. There was champagne, so after three glasses of it I felt pretty buzzing and nice, and did what I do best, which is actually care about people’s lives. Had a long talk with two of my brother in laws about their lives, their careers and aspirations (the youngest told me of how he was aspiring to become a better manager than the managers he had to deal with right now, someone who’d be willing to tackle problems and would care about his employees, it was cute), and spent the rest of the time talking and giggling with my youngest sister in law (who’s a whooping 16 years younger than me) about life and also about how tipsy we both were. The sun was shining, it was lovely to be in a garden instead of my in-laws’ flat, and it did me a world of good.

This being said, next week we’ve got nothing planned and even though it’s still Sunday I’m already looking forward to next week-end for the chance to chill at home, heh.