there's one person to blame for this

self luvin

People always ask the question: do people control their destiny or is there some form of higher power that controls everything? Through personal experience, throughout the course of 5 years I’ve learned- the only thing in life we control is what we get out of experiences that the universe puts us through. Personally I’m very lucky, I’ve never suffered. The only things that have affected my life negatively are situations I put myself through. Now, I take full responsibility for all the experiences in my life- last summer (2015) I went through a short horrible relationship with a guy and for weeks or months after it ended, I blamed him for ruining my life and who I was as a person. I told myself and my friends that he ruined me. Eventually I realized how wrong I was and accepted an apology I never received from him, it was me, just me and my fault. I’m the one who chose to be so deeply affected what he did. Theres a line in a song that goes something like “if you know you have to let go and you don’t did it really hurt you?” when we get hurt it only gets better from there you can only move forward literally- time doesn’t stop for anyone not even you or me (crazy right) this is the only September 9th, 2016 we’re ever going to get. Eventually we get over everything- time heals. New memories replace old memories and we move on and everyone knows it. The most famous quote ever is “it gets better” so why hold on to a grudge if you know you’re eventually going to let go?
      In my 7th through around 9th/10th grade I went through a really hard emotional state and I’m not sure of
the causes, I just really didn’t like who I was physically and my home life wasn’t what I thought was normal and I didn’t have many people to openly talk about my feelings because I myself didn’t even know
how to express it. So it wasn’t one thing that led me to it, it was just kind of a “when it rains, it pours” affect. I felt out of place constantly with everyone everywhere, I felt like I was not of this Earth- like I was born at the wrong place or the wrong time. My life felt meaningless and I know it seems young to feel that way but just even thinking about it right now is so vivid, I know it wasn’t just some little thing that happened to me because it really changed my life and it’s hard for me to openly talk about it sometimes because who I am right now is so different than who I was at that time. I felt resentment
against the world, all my thoughts were negative. All everyone ever wants to feel is that they’re good enough and I didn’t feel that. I got sickly here and there because of whatever was happening to me- I don’t
want to label it as depression because that word just seems too harsh and I don’t like labels and I hate when people feel bad for me. What I mean by I got sickly is there would be weeks I would only chew gum and drink water and not sleep for days. I’d have real anxiety attacks and forget how to breathe. I would put myself in circumstances that I know I would get hurt in and just wouldn’t care. I mean that
emotionally and physically- I did things that hurt my body and I was in relationships with people that I
knew didn’t really care about me, not just romantic relationships even friendships.
I remember waking up one morning and thinking, I don’t want to feel this way anymore. My mom told me to start living for Jessyka. I learned that happiness and sadness is a personal choice. Through church and learning about spirituality I went through a week period of complete euphoria. I was just so thankful
and appreciative of what I had, I even cried a couple times just because I woke up. Remembering this still gets me emotional.
      Think about every bad thing you’ve done even white lies. There’s so many universal wrongs we’ve all committed but I still wake up with clothes on my back and a roof on my head and change in my pockets and thats really enough to be happy about. The grace of the highest power thinks I deserve everything I have and even deserve love from him/her/it. I read somewhere about introspection-
self analyzing and treating. I told myself in the mirror everyday (true story) “I love you so much, you are so cute” and eventually it stuck. I am obsessed with me now! People don’t like me because I’m “cocky”
“conceited” “narcissistic” and I truly do not care because for YEARS I would’ve rather been dead but now I thank God every single day for everything ever and I think I look good. Self love is the best love believe me. I’m so blessed to have learned it at such a young age. When you’re constantly happy and positive you attract better things.
      I used to look for love so hard I was rushing to grow up but I didn’t even love myself yet, once I started falling in love with Jessyka- I found someone really special and I hope he stays around for a long long time. I didn’t have a solid group of friends until 10th grade and I’m still friends with them to this day and I would kill for them. My home life was restored about a year ago. Be grateful for what you have really, every single thing about this life is so wonderful and amazing- it brings tears to my eyes the love I have for life now. I’m glad I went through whatever this was because it turned me into the happiest person to live I swear. Take good from everything because thats all you can do and there is really good in everything. Positive attracts positive.

hey guys stop interacting with them in any way, shape or form bc theyre going to blame me for everything yall say like im the one who personally typed it and its not helping matters. the conversation is over. im not talking about it anymore. i said all i had to say. leave them alone bc they are minors and im a big kid who can handle anon hate so theres a difference

Chloe in Antibug

My take/opinions on the scenes Chloe Burgeois was in 

Chloé is the one person we can assume to blame anything on anyone. However, she know’s that Myléne isn’t at fault after her hair is pulled and actually says so. 

I know she’s a jerk… but no one standing up for you in class (teacher included) and laughing at you usually doesn’t obligate a person to want to be nice to you.

Chloe has no visitors except for Sabrina. Chat and Ladybug show up when she’s in danger. Seemingly, that’s when her father appears as well, unless some event is going on. Her father also spoils and fonds over her ridiculously. It’s probably been going on for a long time. I don’t know, but she seems to have a rather lonely life and to be treated by a parent in such a manner is bound to make any kid a bit bratty on the edges.  

Besides Mayor Burgeois, Adrien/Chat is the only one to generally care about her when she is attacked by the Invisible One. She has very few people looking out for her in that case. I’m under the impression that Ladybug looks out for because she has to. 

Getting humiliated and laughed at by a celebrity and a TV person (can’t think of the proper term right now) and ignored and harshly reprimanded by your idol doesn’t put anyone in a good mood. Part of me can’t blame Chloe for being angry at Sabrina and becoming akumatized because of Ladybug. 

Ouch. Quite a slap to the face to be called a liar by your idol, even when you were trying to help. And also a bit of a blow even if your friend is akumatized. 

I have to give Chloe props for being brave and semi-taking charge in taking care of the akuma she caused. An invisible being attacking me? I would have left the country. 

Chloe rarely offers help or advice to anyone, her idol included. But to actually do so this time and be ignored…. it does give a meaning of “too little, too late” and I feel like Chloe grasps this concept before she is akumatized. 

To be called a liar and not even thanked for helping out is a huge blow to anyone. Watching her idol become extremely exasperated with her is a lightbulb moment for Chloe as well as heart-breaking. 

Once again, ouch. 

Chloe seems the type to not accept apologies (like she did with Sabrina) or change her mind about things. However, this episode was a bit of a turn around for her, as we see slight development in her character. We see her weaker, apologetic, and gracious side (in her own way, of course) come out just a bit. I also love this episode because we see that Ladybug is definitely not perfect. 

Walking into a class where you’re already despised and now with knowledge that you became a villain and cause some havoc… that’s difficult. I find it commendable that Chloe came to class the very next day. Very brave. 

Chloe still has to be Chloe, and I like the way the writers wrote this part of the episode. I also like the fact that she opens one eye. I don’t know if it means anything, but I partially get the feeling that Sabrina would refuse to sit by her and she would have no one. Even though she gives her a piece of jewelry she bought, it does show in a way that money can’t buy you happiness all the time. Deep down, I think Chloe immensely appreciate Sabrina being her friend. 

The Repetition of Mirrors: A Strange Magic One Shot

Alternatively Titled: In Which a Reflection is Consulted, a Person is Remembered and a Name is Practiced

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Let’s just make this clear. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I’m already feeling all stupid and insecure about my writing, and wasn’t going to do anything for a bit. Or maybe I was… I don’t know. But the idea came to me today and hit me so hard and so fast that there was nothing to do but write it. And so I valiantly put all my work to the side, sat down, and one hour later this was produced. Is it my best… I’m not sure. But if I didn’t get it out, I didn’t know what I was going to do.

This is simply a one shot and is not connected to any further stories I have planned. Because, if you remember- never supposed to happen… 

Dedicated to the wonderful and talented Suzie-Guru who has been cheering me on endlessly, and who has been partaking in a ‘let’s see who can hurt the other person more with feels’ battle with me. Which has been a torturous treat, let me tell you. 

Thanks girl! I truly appreciate it!

And as you know, sometimes the only way a writer can thank someone is by writing. 

So, here you go!

P.S. Super nervous to post this, but I haven’t posted anything for a bit and I want to make sure that I get something out before I go and work on other things. 

Thanks to you all for dealing with me and dealing with my screwy time schedule! YOU’RE ALL AWESOME!

He practiced in the mirror. Constantly.

“I am the Bog King.”

It was so much easier now that there was a mirror to practice to. There used to never be, his own face a catalyst for too many memories, boiling hot, melting sand into glass. But Marianne had insisted.

Keep reading

it makes me really uncomfortable when people put the entire blame of the s6 breakup on lorelai because she literally didnt do anything worse than what luke did. they are both equally responsible for the breakup. 

literally luke lied about april (for 3 months!!!!) and he kept lorelai at arms length the entire time. like, im sorry, but if you think that lorelai telling luke that she’s fine when she clearly is not is equally as bad as that, you’re wrong. luke told her it was anna that kept her away from april so she went to anna to make amends. she respected his wishes not to be involved with his relationship, which is not manipulative or “high school games” or whatever you wanna call it. she said she was fine postponing the marriage because she wanted to give him time, and even though she wasn’t happy about it, it was the right thing to do (it was also different than her postponing the wedding when she and rory were fighting bc it was pretty clear that luke expected them to do that). 

if your argument relies on the fact that luke cant mind read and didn’t know that lorelai was upset, then its not a good argument. because you know what? lorelai cant read minds either. if your argument is that lorelai should have known that luke would handle the situation poorly, then its not a good argument. why? because luke should have known that lorelai wasn’t comfortable with the situation. they both did not communicate. you literally cannot blame lorelai for all of it when she is only half the problem.

and like…oh my god lorelai wasnt playing games or being fake or any of that bullshit….she didnt do anything intentionally and she thought she was doing her best and doing the right thing and literally if you think thats being manipulative then calm down because it’s not. there’s no clear cut way for her to have handled the situation because luke probably wouldve reacted negatively towards something like “even tho anna doesnt want it, i need to be a part of aprils life” bc that wouldve kept him away from april and he wouldve felt attacked and probably wouldve pushed lorelai away even more (trust me. as a luke type, i wouldve freaked the fuck out too)

also lorelai didnt sleep with christopher to get back at luke, she went to him for friendship and comfort and he took advantage of the situation. end of. 

Mianite season 1

So I’m rewatching season one of mianite and Jordan was the main one attacked! Like seriously, when the whole situation when tucker asked jordan for a lava bucket to kill tony and after tucker lava tony, the modesteps blamed jordan and went after him, by burning his house and stuff. Also when tom purposely annoyed jordan by taking his things and messing with him, also how the whole vault situation about the rules that they all agreed on and they try to switch the rules up when it came to trying to get in Jordans vault. Like jordan is the most kindest person on mianite and when Theres a disagreement he tries to solve the problem in a proper manner since that’s how he is. Like they all agreed on rules and a few people did break those rules and jordan got annoyed and upset that those rules were set and people didn’t follow them .Like even after all the terrible things they did to him and to each other they are still friends at the end of the day, but during season one I feel like they took advantage of his kindness, he’s innocent and his viewers are young children and he tries to set an example and not set a bad one.